Sex is fun. Let's start there. But sex comes with issues. Always. When friends engage in moments of passion.... there really should be a binding contract, just stating that everything may or may not change, and everyone needs to be honest and act like an adult after. Stay friends or be lovers, just be cool. How comprehensive and easy would that be? One can dream.
Redditor u/Kangheh4533 wanted to know what friends out there were willing to give us a few honest and a few salacious tidbits about their personal relationships by asking.... Redditors who had sex with their best friend, how did it happen and did your friendship change afterwards?Ruined.
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Ruined a perfectly good friendship. We later married and have been together ever since. pressthebuttonfrank
which I understand.....
I slept with my close guy friend for months after going through a hard breakup with someone else. We were able to stay friends afterwards but things have definitely changed for the worse now that he has a new gf. She's said before that she feels uncomfortable around me, which I understand. Any person he dates from now on is probably going to feel that way, so I know we'll never get back the close friendship we had. Definitely something I never thought about when I chose to cross that line. sosmore
For about 5 years....
Well, I'd always liked her but didn't want to risk the friendship. Turns out she was thinking the same thing the whole time. For about 5 years. She was just a physically affectionate friend to everyone, so I didn't think anything of her constantly touching me in ways that would usually be considered flirting. At some point one of our mutual friends, who I hadn't told, let slip by accident that she had a mega crush on me, and I couldn't believe it.
I asked my friend, and she said it was true, I confided my feelings as well, and we got busy fast, because we both felt we'd spent enough time together to be sure of each other and now it's been a year and a half, and we're still together and still in that honeymoon-phase. I'm a very lucky dude, and I know everyone won't be so lucky, but there is hope my dudes. ReallyBigTanks
Like A Virgin...
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Friends for almost 10 years, he got embarrassed about still being a virgin going into his second year of college. Being the great friend i was, I agreed to sleep with him platonically so he could have his first time nervousness free.
After that, we never really talked about it for about 2 years, unless it was a joke. We continued our friendship like nothing happened.
After those 2 years went by we somehow ended up in a sexual relationship again, after a drunk night at college. We continued this relationship for a few months, progressing from purely sexual into a romantic relationship. I really thought we were finally about to get it right, and maybe this was the way it was always supposed to be. It was heaven, it was bliss.
But then he got an actual girlfriend and never talked to me again.
It's been about 3 years since this happened and they are still together, which admittedly still bothers me. I really had no idea he was seeing anyone else, hence why I was so blindsided and hurt. This did cause a lot of trust issues that I still struggle with, but it was an important lesson to learn. If they ever break up and he tries reaching out to me, I'm strong enough now not to be there. xandrenia
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Forever After....
I went over to his house one day to hangout, we had joked about just having sex with each other since neither of us were getting any, and well one thing lead to another. We're engaged now. hellanordi
Palpable....
We had been close friends for a couple of years, but the sexual tension was palpable. Most people who saw the two of us together thought we were a couple. But we both had too much baggage to get involved. Two days before I was moving across the country we were drunk as hell (we usually were) and I asked him if he wanted to do it.
So we did. For all the sexual tension we had, the sex wasn't particularly memorable. We spoke a fair amount after I moved, but eventually fell out of touch. I don't know if that was because of the sex or just distance and time. OneRhinoArmy
Meh....
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We were friends. Agreed to be FWB. Are now dating for a couple years now. Other than the sexual aspect of it, we're still two goofballs who make each other laugh. So nothing really changed all that much. Cyanora
~emotions~
I spent my four years of high school with a good boyfriend, but my best friend was broken up with in the same week I was, in a super similar way, right after the summer of our graduation. We kinda bonded over it and he kissed me because of ~emotions~ but I told him I didn't feel the same and he was really respectful about it. He joined the navy and I sent him a bunch of letters in bootcamp. A few months later, I saved up and flew 2000 miles to go visit him on base, we stayed the weekend together, and... sex happened.
To be completely honest with you after he fell asleep I totally flipped out. I was a wreck. I thought we were never going to be able to look one another in the eye afterward, but we got up, had breakfast in a little cafe, and went to the library holding hands. We've been together since. I love him more than life itself, I've never been in a relationship that felt more natural and healthy. We still talk like old friends. He calls me darlin' dearest. I'm enamored. Apageo
After the Break....
Following her breaking up with a guy she had been with for a couple years we had sex about 4 times the last month of senior year after being super close friends all throughout high school. It was no secret that I had a thing for her the entire time but she never really saw me that way. At that point we just kinda got stuck in this weird limbo between not wanting to date but not being able to go back to being friends and wound up getting into a huge fight before she left the state for college, obviously the friendship was never truly rekindled but we still talk occasionally.
She wound up getting back together with the guy and only seems to text me when things are not going right with him. A mutual friend told me that she had said she regretted not dating me but at this point forget that, I'm not gonna be a penis but she had her chance. zaybo_no1
I wish it never happened.
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I wish it never happened. She got super crazy weird afterward and it completely ruined our friendship. After a year of attempting to ease it back to what we had before I got the hint and stopped bothering her. She's engaged now and I wasn't even invited to the wedding which really really hurts. Ryguy55
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" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
The excuses people use to dismiss behavior range from mundane and meaningless to the sort of leaps normally reserved for kangaroos and Olympians. It's sometimes amazing that these excuses work - but they do.
Some of them work so well that they're just sort of "accepted." That, obviously, kind of sucks and is something we should avoid - so let's talk about 'em.
Can't swerve around what you don't see, ya know?
Reddit user TMTtasmachine asked:
What's the biggest excuse used for a-hole behavior that shouldn't be accepted as much as it is?
... and away we go.
Jerk Privileges
" 'That's just how they are.' "
"One of the biggest enablers for tantrum throwing, bullying, etc. is that they get treated with kid gloves to avoid dealing with them." - alexrt87
"Oh my God you hit the nail on the head. Whenever someone says 'that's just the way they are' I say:"
" 'Yes, that's the point! Glad you noticed too! Now is it okey-doke for them to be jerks they have special jerk privileges? Or maybe they are just people and should treat everyone else as such?' " - notatrumpchump
"It depends on how it's said."
"People are the way that they are, and you shouldn't be surprised when they continue to be that way."
"This, obviously, doesn't excuse it - but people also shouldn't be surprised when a bad person continues to make bad decisions. Neither should we waste space in our minds being bothered by it." - unlawfulfoxy
Harassment Isn't Humor
season 2 lol GIF by ShamelessGiphy" 'It's just a joke, bro.' Harassing people isn't humor." - loading__99
"Schrödinger's Douchebag"
"A guy who says/does offensive things and decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him." - Eatsleeptren
"Dude, legit had someone come up to me and start shouting in my face, calling me Madison, pretending I was cheating on him. Literally the most crowded location outside a theater, everyone staring at us, looking at me like I was some horrible cheater while I was out with my then fiancé."
"I started hyperventilating, my fiancé nearly decked the dude, and then someone shouts 'CUT' like this is some big 'YOU'RE ON CANDID CAMERA' moment and everything's supposed to be okay."
"I burst into tears."
"It was the most humiliating moment of my life, and thank god my then fiancé, now husband is not the type to overreact or jump to conclusions, or be abusive. Imagine how bad that could have been for someone with an angry or abusive partner."
"Prank videos are a plague on the internet and there is a REASON so many of them are fake, or involve actors." - Darkovika
Stay Sober, Then!
Drunk Drinking Beer GIFGiphy" 'I was drunk / high / etc.' "
"Then don't drink?! Stay sober if you can't NOT be an a**hole!" - BasedBenjamin
"Alternately, I hear a lot of 'I'm a happy drunk!' "
"Yeah, according to your drunk a$s. That doesn't mean you're not an ahole. Not remembering is not an excuse either." - PepeBabinski
"I was that guy. I swore I was a 'happy drunk' - and I was. It was everyone ELSE who was miserable while I was happy."
"I was also loud, obnoxious, and I wouldn't remember sh*t the next day."
"Quitting drinking has been one of my best choices of my life." - TTungsteNN
"Help"
new girl coach GIFGiphy" 'I'm just trying to help you' " - Miserable-Air1234
"Every time I've heard this, they're manipulating me while helping only themselves." - mykittenfarts
"My Mom to a T. Everything she does is better than anyone else's and she always gets pissed that people don't praise her for 'helping.' "
"She's now a certified (by herself) psychic and I have come to the conclusion that she's not a covert narcissist but an obvious one. I really wish I was joking." - Silent_Discussion657
Parenting Problems
Leave Me Alone Run GIF by TLC EuropeGiphy"Any variation of 'I'm a Mother/parent.' "
"Had some lady cut me in line at a coffee shop and she hit me with 'I'm a single Mom of 3!' as her excuse."
"Ok? And? I was still here first." - maid-for-hire
"I'm a single mom and I f*cking haaaate when other single moms/parents pull that sh*t to get special treatment."
"Last week, I was having a rough morning, my kid was being difficult, and I was running late. I was rude to a cashier over a minor inconvenience."
"Not only did I apologize for my shitty behavior, I wrote corporate to let them know how professional and patient she was while I acted like a f*cking toddler."
"Was being a parent part of the reason I was frustrated? Absolutely. Was it an excuse for that behavior? HELL no."
"I acted like a b*tch, and I called myself out, and I apologized. I still feel bad about that - I rarely let things get to me to the point I snap at others." - ClusterfckyShtshow
"Wow. I'm a Mom as well and tired but it doesn't give anyone a right to use it as some sort of ploy to get away with stuff."
"Like, mice become Moms about 12 times a year. You're not special 🤣" - SpoonLoops
Believing Your Boss
The Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"I had a boss say some really racist sh*t around me one day and the next day, out of nowhere, he says:"
" 'Don't believe half the things that come out of my mouth!' "
"It was not really an excuse, more like trying to cover for himself after the fact, but still stuck with me." - sirlongbottom441
"Report them to HR. Seriously." - kokichi--ouma
"Looking past the racist stuff for a bit, that's not a very encouraging thing to hear from a boss…" - WonderfulBlackberry9
Bad Day Again
Bad Day Reaction GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy" 'I'm having a bad day/week' "
"Okay, so you decide everybody that you interact with deserves the same fate? Get out of here, dude." - myordinaryexistence
"We all got stress, don't take it out on me. I get some people have stress bad enough for it to be passable every once and a while (family member passing, etc) but general, stress should not lead to you being a jerk to me." - willsimpforfree
"Damn, I'm definitely guilty of this. Usually I remember to apologize after but at this point I've learned to just avoid the situation in the first place by minimizing my interaction with people if I'm in a shitty mood." - nozzzrul
"Reminds me of when that White boy went on a murder rampage and killed a bunch of Asian women & that a-hole sheriff gave a press conference telling the media that the 'poor boy had a bad day.' "
"My idea of a bad day involves going home after a rough day at work and just staying in the house."
"Apparently, I should change my ethnicity from Asian to White and go on a murder rampage, see if my @ss gets a sympathetic sheriff to say on my behalf that I had 'a bad day.' " - kingkazul400
It's Not An Excuse
Season 2 Reaction GIF by FriendsGiphy"This won't go down well, but using depression as an excuse. As someone who suffers from it, it's still not ok to treat others like sh*t" - Rainbowwallstickers
"Could not agree enough. My partner has a 'friend' who treats everyone like sh*t all the time, has no consideration for others and openly mocks people in public."
"She gets so much grace from those around her under the guise of her 'mental health.' It's so infuriating watching an adult woman never have to take responsibility for her actions." - 34boor
"I get there are some things you can't control, but you are still responsible for keeping that sh*t in check and if you're aware of your mental illness, you should be aware of how you approach people and situations."
"I'll admit I used to be guilty of using my mental illness to be an @ss, but now I'm trying to better myself" - VeeSquibbles
Florida Gonna Florida
Looney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy"People are letting Florida off the hook way too damn much. And I live in Florida."
"Just because it's hilarious doesn't mean it isn't still completely f*cked up." - AlphaWhiskeyOscar
"The phrase 'Florida Man' is almost always followed some heinous way a Floridian is being an a$$hole." - PepeBabinski
"I'm also originally from Florida, and that state has serious problems. We need to pay attention to it." - [Reddit]
Moment of honesty ... as a Floridian ... yeaaaah, I'm gonna have to agree with that last one.