LAST UPDATED: 8 August 2018
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The finite nature of a hotel stay can lead guests to behave in ways they wouldn't normally. And where there is saucy behavior, there are the artifacts left behind.
Alone Time<p>"Three empty bottles of wine, about two dozen cherry pits scattered all over the floor and under the furniture, and red-colored puke all over the bedspread."</p><p>"There was only one guy staying in the room."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gtrpvpm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OneWayRabbit</a></p>
The Consequences of Fame<p>"Found a human poo in the kettle once. Worse part was it was a 'celebrity' (crappy uk reality show) doing a guest appearance at a local club."</p><p>"Him and his mates filled the rooms iPad with di** pics too. Hotel got rid of the iPads shortly after that."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gts9qby?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Geknock</a></p>
No Closet Is Too Nice<p>"Friend worked a 5-star hotel and found a turd in the closet." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gtsahqp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boganvillia</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's not a very nice thing to call your guest, but as someone that worked in customer service, I agree. They are turds." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gtsv9mv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">theassassintherapist</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Closet poopers are what happens to shy poopers if they don't face their poop anxiety." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gtt72ik?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Stunning_Honeydew201</a></p>
Work Retreat<p>"I do maintenance. Had a group of part time housekeepers that are mentally handicapped working with their job coach go into a suite with adjoining door. There were 3 construction workers staying, 2 and their supervisor."</p><p>"In the one side with a pull out couch and DVD player, they found a full size blow up doll, empty small bottles of lube, used condoms, several beer bottles, and a stack of porn on DVD. Doll was on the pull out couch and everything else was all over the bed."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gts2105?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">MacDaddyCheesus</a></p>
Steer Clear of Gadgets<p>"Almost tazed myself with a 'tube of lipstick' that I found under the bed." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gts2uxs?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Naprisun</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"<em>insert lipstick taser gif here" -- </em><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gtsnhak?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">georgiomoorlord</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"so nobody's talking about this person using hotel bed lipstick" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gtsp19h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ST4R3</a></p>
Back on the Road<p>"My friend's family owns a motel. He tells me they once found an auto transmission in the bathtub of a room." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gts5oix?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">smorkoid</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Yup, I've heard of this before. You go to the town on a bachelor party, take a pill and then wake up and your transmission is in the bathtub full of ice and 3rd gear was removed" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gtsrfnk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">cavegoatlove</a></p>
Making it Cozy<p>"I worked as a hotel cleaner during undergrad."<br></p><p>"My first day of work someone left a hatchet in the bathtub."</p><p>"Also, someone completely decorated the room with framed family pictures.. and left them all there. I think their stay was only 2 days. They set some up on the furniture.. but also legit hung some on the walls."</p><p><span></span>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gtsidvh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Eric_Partman</a></p>
Ahhhhhhh<p>"I worked for a hotel that had cabins, so I would be in and out all day in the hot sun. On one of those hot days I opened the fridge to find an unopened bottle of Dr. Pepper in the freezer part.. it was perfectly slushed."</p><p>"It made my day. This was years ago, too!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gtshd29?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Syndaquil</a></p>
As If They Knew<p>"A whole box of magnum ice creams. My fave!" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gtsavz4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">nightcana</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"If this was in Melbourne, you're welcome. I bought them but got invited out. Checked out the next day and left them in the freezer and I couldn't stand the thought of putting them in the bin." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gtsus03?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hemansteve</a></p>
Repurposed<p>"My partner gets apartments ready for the next people renting them out after leases are up, they've found so, so many bdsm toys. One of which (a flogger) is my cats favorite toy over all others now including her very expensive cat toys hahaha"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mmiq75/hotel_cleaners_of_reddit_whats_your_most/gts9qlc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hoteltraumatique</a></p>
Typically, I would write an intro about my own experiences with the weird kids at school, but I WAS the weird kid in school. Not in a bad way, more like a “I had a John Waters phase” when I was 16 and everyone knew it. So like, cool-weird. At least I hope so.
Schools aren’t always so lucky to have the cool kinds of weird kids though. The spectrum of weird extends even further than that, and can sometimes end up very disasterous.
Let’s start with the grossest of the gross. Because why not.
Was it worth it?peeing ralph wiggum GIF Giphy
He heard that you'd automatically get suspended if you peed your pants at school. He wanted to find out if it was true, peed his pants, got suspended.
> Observation: 'I've heard that by peeing your pants you will be suspended'
> Hypothesis: If I pee my pants I will be suspended
> Experiment: I peed my pants and I got suspended
> Conclusion: If I pee my pants I get suspended
Uhhh what was the intention here?
He got mad that he didn't understand how to play a game at lunchtime so he started hitting and punching the nearest person to him, who happened to be me. When I shoved him away and asked him what the hell was he doing, he whipped his unit.out, charged at me and when I shoved him away from me again he started crying and ran away with his member still sticking out.
Next ones up are the lowkey (or even highkey) disturbing stories. These weird kids can get a little scary.
At my middle school, someone decided to get a little attention with a good old fashioned bomb threat. Except they thought that a bomb threat meant literally writing "bomb threat" somewhere. Worse yet, they misspelled the f*ck out of it, and wrote "boom theret."
So we had to go on a brief, very awkward lockdown while the police checked the perimeter for booms.
I hope there was no overlap in the columns.Serial Killer Halloween GIF by GIPHY CAM Giphy
She wrote a list of all the girls and boys she wanted to kiss and murder and then casually passed it out on the playground.
2 separate lists or just the 1?
Same list 2 columns lol.
Had the weird kid in high school ask the teacher to use the bathroom. She said no and this dude legit stabbed his hand with a pencil. Went all the way through then asked if he could now...sh*t was wild.
This was Pearl High School in Mississippi. This was the school Luke Woodham shot and killed his girlfriend and her friend at the school. This kid stabbed himself with the pencil about 2 months after that happened. This was late 1997.
Most of the time, however, the weird kids are pretty d*mn funny.
Ok, but this takes a lot of skill.
Had a kid nicknamed "cheeseburger" in the grade ahead of me in high school. He got his nickname because when it was time for his class to go to lunch, he snuck into the roof and crawled his way into the cafeteria, dropped down and proceeded to steal all the cheeseburger put out for lunch. Unfortunately they caught him in the act and sent him to the principal's office.
A year later he was caught stealing a teacher's computer, and in the process of being arrested he bit the officers hand, getting him sent to juvi never to be heard of again.
Every school had the cat girl.cat dragging GIF Giphy
The weird kid at my highschool tied a string around his pencil case and pulled out around the halls pretending it was a dog. He still lives in my hometown. I think unemployed.
Oh also weird girl in middle school acted like a cat. She would meow and hiss at people, lick the water fountain and rub her body on the teacher's legs. In 8th grade. I have no idea where she ended up.
Weird kid in elementary was a self proclaimed alien. Once, while waiting for the bus, she told me "On my planet we eat people like you" and proceeded to bite me. We later became friends in high school and she used to give me massages during lunch break in the quad. Just realized now she was likely tenderizing me.
I was exactly this kind of weird.
He didn't say much, but if asked, he would go to the front of the class and perform Tip-Toe Through the Tulips with all of the emotion and volume of Tiny Tim, holding nothing back.
The last I heard, he became an energy trader, made a ton of money and married well.
I can definitely relate to that last one. In middle school, my English teacher would let me go to the front of the class and perform monologues or songs from Broadway musicals. Weird, but that’s what happens when schools cut funding for the arts and the theatre kids have no outlet.
As long as you’re not hurting anyone, I say let your freak flag fly, man
It's fair to say that just because you're a parent doesn't mean you have the abilities to properly teach.
Let's Get The People Who Take This All A Bit Too Literally Out Of The Way...<p>...because seriously, don't throw your kids into a pool if they don't know how to swim.</p><p>Seriously. <br></p>
Don't ACTUALLY Make Them Sink Or Swim!<p>I actually used to be a swim teacher in college teaching private lessons in people's backyards because of parents who had thrown their kids into the pool to sink or swim. It was usually Mom's calling me for help because they heard from a friend of a friend that I was able to teach their kid and get them to like the water again in about a month or less. One kid, he was 7, I had to sit with him on the pool deck the whole first lesson and bring buckets of water to him, his Dad had dunked him multiple times and insisted that his son would just figure it out eventually because "that's how he learned." <br></p>
Skills That Are Probably Best Taught Instead Of Unsympathetically Learned<p>There are lots of time when parents think they're teaching their child some valuable life lesson. Skills or knowledge that could be passed down for generations to come, as if they're brilliant teachers instructing for the first time. Upon further look, some of these could probably be fixed in a day with some talking. <br></p>
Could You Even Do This One By Yourself?<p>they didn't want to teach me to tie my shoes, because my mum said "I had to learn that myself, so should you!"</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mnfkvd/whats_your_worst_story_from_the_throw_him_in_the/gtx7x82?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Roli_Rules</a></p>
How Could You Know?<p>'Just walk it off!'</p><p>My dad, when I developed a big nasty cyst on my toe when my mom was away on a stressful trip. She was not pleased to come back and have to immediately drive me to the hospital. It got to the point where I took one step on it and almost passed out.</p><p>He apologized afterward. Got a sandwich from a really good sandwich place and I forgave him. Now I laugh about it.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mnfkvd/whats_your_worst_story_from_the_throw_him_in_the/gtxl329?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Rubricae98</a></p>
Well, That's Just Bad Luck<p>I was always a picky eater growing up. One time my mom sat me down with a small bowl of almonds and told me I couldn't get up out of my seat until I finished it. I insisted that I hated them and they were making my mouth itch, she thought I was just being difficult. I just started to swallow the almonds like pills because my mouth was so itchy from chewing on them.</p><p>A couple years later I saw and allergist and discovered I was allergic to tree nuts.</p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mnfkvd/whats_your_worst_story_from_the_throw_him_in_the/gtxrnk5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">CosmonautCaveman</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mnfkvd/whats_your_worst_story_from_the_throw_him_in_the/gtxrnk5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3"></a>
Wait, IMPALED?<p>My younger cousin (4 at the time) was a climber and always needed help getting down. His dad told his mom to leave him. He'll either learn how to get down himself or stop climbing. Cousin ended up climbing onto the roof, fell off and got impaled on a fence pole. One very expensive trip to the er and he now has a cool scar on his thigh.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mnfkvd/whats_your_worst_story_from_the_throw_him_in_the/gtxzo8n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">idontdigdinosaurs</a></p>
When Your Livelihood And Futures Are Literally On The Line<p>Every parent can look at their "sink or swim" approach as a form of preparation. Giving your child a small taste of what the future might hold for them. However, in these last few instances, you could argue the parent went a bit too far in one direction, actually showing them a full sampling of how terrible the world can be. </p>
You Should Have Started Saving Yesterday<p>2 days after I graduated high school I came home to an empty house, all my stuff in a Uhaul because my mom and stepdad moved without me. I have been financially independent ever since, but a heads up would've been nice.</p><p>My real dad was not involved in this situation he was on the other side of the country. I am still close with him but he is very low income so he could not help me in this. I went no contact with my mom for about a year but she weaseled her was back in. I think I see her in person once every 2 years and I do not acknowledge my stepfather exists. I have been considering going no contact with my mom again recently</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mnfkvd/whats_your_worst_story_from_the_throw_him_in_the/gtxvr7h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">doubledang666</a></p>
Learning To Drive<p>My step dad would get hammered and make me drive him home. I was 14 and couldn't drive stick and he was like you'll figure it out. This happened Maybe 3 times.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mnfkvd/whats_your_worst_story_from_the_throw_him_in_the/gtxpa19?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">lookssharp</a></p>
Okay, Maybe Help Your Child?<p>7 years old. Had an asthma attack at our camp in the middle of the night. At that time, treatment for an attack was a nebulizer machine that required electricity, which we didn't have at our camp. My parents kept telling me that I just had to calm down and breathe better so the attack would go away on its own. They only intervened hours later because they couldn't sleep because of all the noise I was making as I choked and gasped for air. We drove 3 hours back to our house, passing multiple hospitals along the way because they were embarrassed that I was in such bad shape and blamed me for just not breathing properly. Fun times.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mnfkvd/whats_your_worst_story_from_the_throw_him_in_the/gtxvynq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a><a target="_blank">MinouCheetos</a></p>
Belly up to the bar folks, 'cause there are some wild tales to be told as you sip your sarsaparilla.