Sexual invitations are apparently in the eye of the beholder.

Never again will a sneeze or a lollipop be a PG behavior.

That stuff gets X-rated QUICK.


Redditor Xikayo asked:

"What seemingly innocent action gives off a sexual impression?"

This is about to get steamy.

All About the Subtext

"When I was 15 I made an animation for my friend's dad's drilling company. It showed a drill rod rotating in and out of a dirt hole which had a patch of grass around it. My mother saw it and told me to rethink it."

- FatherOfTheSevenSeas

COUGH INTO YOUR ELBOW

"When people make a fist to cough into, that second when they have their mouths open, I always imagine them sucking d*ck, always. And it doesn't matter who, everyone."

- tibisay_the_monkey

"Read this. Coughed like this. Got enlightened. Not doing that ever again."

- secksiboi62

In Good Hands

"When a guy is putting the car in reverse and puts his arm around the passenger seat to look behind him."

- kaylapears

"YES LORD"

- Belialzebub

"Highly underrated. Being focused is so hot."

- themoondream

Routine Maintenance 

"Pulling out a wedgie/adjusting the crotch area. I'm just feeling like a sandwich down there."

- ParadoxicalProblem

"I feel really embarrassed when I notice my zipper is down. I try to fix it without anyone noticing because I'm afraid they will think I'm doing some perverted stuff."

- oldcoffee

It's Just Awkward

"Adjusting your stockings."

- RhesusFactor

"F*cks sake, just wearing them is enough for me..."

- xzyvy

"Uh, when I adjust my stocking under a skirt or a dress I do this weird awkward dance and, trust me, it does not look sexual. It probably because I try to hide the fact that I'm doing it and try to do it discretely, but it never works out that way."

- Salt_rock_lamp

Pretty Much Anything Around Adjusting Clothes.

"Adjusting your belt. Especially going from one notch to another."

- KindaAlwaysVibrating

"Making room for the gorge? Sexy."

- boosayrian

"This is how I pick up women at Golden Corral."

- youknowhattodo

Through a Lens of Loneliness

"When I was younger, getting a hug from a girl would have me fantasizing about our future together for months."

- Diraka

"Sh*t, it wouldn't even take a hug for me. When I was younger, a girl could just be polite while I was paying her for my Auntie Anne's pretzels and before the transaction was over she was the one and we were going to be together forever."

- compendium88

"Look at this player."

- Maselang_Bahaghari

Gotta Be a Freud Quote for this

"The look on your face when you're about to sneeze."

- SomeOriginalContent

"Can confirm. People pay me money to sneeze, and it is definitely sexual to them."

- wanderingnightt

"They say a sneeze is 1/8 of an orgasm. That's why I keep a pepper shaker on my nightstand."

- Torpid-O

The Hot, and the Not So Hot

"Seeing a guy take off a sweater by reaching over his head and pulling it off. I have no idea how guys are able to undress this way but it can definitely be a turn on."

- DazedAndConfused0112

"Because they don't have boobs."

- aqua64

"I stuff my arms into the sleeve then slip my head in..."

- Synzy

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Risqué Dessert 

"I no longer eat ice cream in public thanks to multiple people telling me that I eat them 'seductively.'"

- dragon8713

"Similarly I got in trouble for deep-throating a popsicle when I was like 8. I don't even know why I did it. My step dad told me to stop."

- Chipring13

"Eating a lollipop. Or candycane. Sometimes even a popsicle."

- XTasty09

"Can confirm."

"Our neighborhood had an ice cream party and I saw the dads do a double take while trying to stop my popsicle from dripping. Still getting smiles and hellos from them 2 yrs later."

- Throwawaybibbi

“Friends,” Right.

"Trying to make a friend of the opposite sex once you're over 25. It's SO hard to just make friends without it seeming like you're trying to get with them."

- ACakeCalledDenial

"I have a female coworker that I chat with regularly, my wife thinks she wants to bang me. 'No, Honey, not all opposite sex relationships have to revolve around sex.'"

"Turns out she was right... but I shut that down lol."

- medium2slow

The Most Innocent, the Most Sexual

"Genuinely listening/responding. I can find you interesting without wanting to get in your pants."

- Sloth_Reborn

"This. God knows how many times I have given the wrong idea because somehow people have come to conclusion that you only listen to opposite gender if you wanna f*ck them."

- Moonlights_Embrace

Wandering Eyes

"Looking someone up and down by accident. Eyes wander sometimes. Also licking your lips, that always looks suspect."

- AncientLineage

"I mean, you first have to know where to not look at in the first place. When you first meet a girl and as you first lay your eyes her, you notice she has generous goods and you're worried she'll think you're some sort of perv but really you're just making sure to never stare there again. Or it's even worse when she is just drop dead gorgeous and as you're making eye contact you're worried that you're looking at her with the eyes of a trout on an ice counter as much her beauty is intense. It's hard to explain, but it's rustling my jimmies."

- Ticoune0825

How Are You That Close to Someone?

"Telling someone they smell good."

- rebelliousturian

"The only two women who ever told me that, I slept with... so..."

- Redditor

"I'm someone who absolutely loves the smell of cologne (I'm a woman and enjoy wearing men's scents too) and one day I told my coworker he smelled good, and almost immediately he went from giving me the cold shoulder to being a lot more friendly and honestly, flirty with me. He also pretty much wore that cologne every day after that. I was genuinely just giving a compliment because I can really appreciate a good cologne but now I know."

- Redditor

Yeah, can't do this innocently.

"Biting the lower lip."

- IronTemplar26

"I hate when people think I like them when I do that but its just my anxiety tendency."

- rosiepatxh

Bend With Your Knees.

"Bending over to pick something up."

- Kingmir1

"Bend and snap. Works every time."

- DPlagtheWise

If You're Into That.

"Apparently playing with my shoe and letting it hang off my foot is sexual; at least that's what some random dude told me at a bar once."

- Bayonethics

"It's called dangling."

- Redditor

"In the past (I know about early 1900) it was a way for prostitutes to let know a guy at a formal place they wanted to offer their services. Often they also wrote the price with chalk on the sole."

- burned_pixel

Check The Grammar.

"I was working from home one night and whilst doing yoga, my wife over stretched and said without hesitation 'f*ck my a**' Unfortunately what she really meant was 'F*ck, my a**.'"

- Pxander

"That's an important life lesson right there: before you grab her & ram her, be sure to check the grammar."

- HuntforMusic

Apparently, Anything Is Sexual.

"In middle school, my day planner had a spiral ring for binding. I always put my pen into the spiral ring in order to keep them together when I packed it into my backpack at the end of class. It just seemed like a rational, organized thing to do."

"A girl complained that this looked too sexual."

- dexterpine

"What was going on in her mind....?!"

- BinaryTrip

"It’s middle school. Everyone’s going through puberty at that time."

- rosenwaiver

When a purely functional action appears wildly sexual, it's a total paradigm shift.

It does not matter if years went by with no promiscuous conclusions. The action could have been totally functional, a mundane behavior of daily life.

But it shifts.

When the threshold is crossed into the sex universe, the once behavior can never regain the old innocence.

It’s like passing the risqué Rubicon.

But this is not the Roman army stuck on the wrong side of a river.

This is an array of tongues and lips and teeth and eyes, in no particular order.

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