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When your time is up, your time is up. And when we march off into the afterlife it feels like everyone wants one of two or two things. People want to go out in a blaze of glory and/or in peace and without pain. I don't know if both is possible but I'll choose option two please. What I know for sure is I definitely don't want to be smoted by a stupid death. Like, Lord, please don't let me die choking on fried chicken and an XL frozen Appletini at the Dallas BBQ because I was laughing to hard at my own jokes. Please.
Redditor u/BlueD_ wanted everyone to fess up about the times they almost met their maker in a less than dignified manner by asking... What's the dumbest way you almost died?<div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_1"></div>
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<p>We have to admit: there are times when we're watching the news, or we get an unfortunate phone call and a death is announced, and at first it's a somber feeling but then we learn the story about said person'e demise and... you can't help but stifle a chuckle. It happens. You just hope you're never the punchline. Case in point, imagine if...</p>
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Torn...
<p>Hooked shirt on roller coaster flying by while I was operating it.</p><p>Shirt tore but it threw me a meter onto track just behind it. I crawled off in time before it came back around. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnktz0m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GottaGoSmash</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Lump
<p>Born with a lump in my throat that was blocking my airway. It was so bad that I was turning purple from air loss by 3 months old, but the doctors kept telling my mom they couldn't find anything wrong. Finally was rushed to children's hospital where they did emergency laser surgery to remove the lump. Almost died to complete incompetence, thankfully the people at children's were much more capable. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnktt1d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Leroy_Spankinz</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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So Wrong...
<p>I was playing at some church camp as a teenager. They had us running around in the dark.</p><p>Well, they had a guy wire from a telephone pole in basically the middle of the forest and I ran into it at neck height.</p><p>You know in cartoons when someone runs into something and their feet fly up even with their body and they fall down? I'm pretty sure that happened to me.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>I had a very nasty cut that was pretty deep on my throat and I'm pretty sure if it was just a bit deeper I would have got the important arteries lol</p><p>I could be wrong though. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnkvdrp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Nimbleturtles</a></p>
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<p>See now sometimes this is why death is the thing of nightmares. More often than not its not about death itself; its about the journey on the way out. Life is already stressful enough, always looking both ways, and not stepping on cracks. How can I be alert for literally anything and everything all at once?</p>
the baby....
<p>I was born super premature and would apparently never stop crying and every doctor was just like "she's a baby, she's crying just because" until my parents took me to the children's hospital and then a doctor was like "yeah, she's dying. Surgery now." I was born with a double hernia. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnm5xj4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> vampyreprincess</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/vampyreprincess/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Just Walk
<p>Almost fell to my death from the second floor of an abandoned theater because I was running down a flight of stairs that are just cut off midway. Someone with the fastest reflex skills just grabbed me by my shirt and pulled my backwards.</p><p>Don't run in abandoned buildings. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnl26xv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">coldnymph</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Evil Mango
<p>When I was 19, I ate a mango and it was a large piece and it got stuck in my throat. I started to choke. I found it hard to breathe and couldn't talk. My brother did the heimlich manuever on me and the mango came out. I laughed about it a minute later because imagine "defeated by mango" written as your reason for death. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnkx7o3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Spiderman230</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Spiderman230/" target="_blank"></a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
<p>When I was three, I nearly choked to death on a piece of pineapple. I was throwing chunks into the air and catching them with my mouth like a seagull. Can you imagine that obituary? No one would've imagined me in advanced classes years later. I feel others here can relate. </p>
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The Day is Out
<p>Using a pickaxe while tired. Was using the flat end to break up dirt. It got stuck. I yanked it, causing my feet to slip on the dirt while I basically pulled myself straight down on the spike end. My arms shot out and I landed in a push up position with the tip less than an inch from my chest.</p><p>I called it a day after that. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnlkzi1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ProbablyYourButt</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Do Vodka
<p>I was very sad and drank lots and lots of rum. I woke up covered in vomit all over my bed, I had probably vomited multiple times in my sleep. I was alone.</p><p>I could have choked on my spew and died.</p><p>I avoid rum now. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnlcg7n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">writingwithmovement</a></p>NEVER!
<p>I felt incredible pain in my abdomen and laid in bed a week hoping it would go away. By the time I asked to go to the hospital I was in Sepsis. I was out of my head in pain, couldn't eat, high fever, etc.</p><p>Apparently I had a bout with diverticulitis. I had no idea what that was. Mine perforated and my white blood cell count was insane. The perforation was pouring toxins into my body cavity. They didn't do surgery, they only ran a tube down in my back to drain the 'death sludge' from my body. My kidneys and my bladder were trying to shut down. I'll never forget that pain for as long as I live.<span></span></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>I was on mega antibiotics and it saved my life. Even after leaving the hospital I was on antibiotics for another 2 weeks. Had this happened to me several years ago they would have had me in surgery and I would have had some of my colon removed and I would have had a colostomy bag. :-(<br></p><p>But, these days they hit you with tons of antibiotics and they've been having success.</p><p>I learned to never lay in bed for a week with pain like that. Never again. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnlkddb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">moviesandcats</a></p>
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In the Shallow...
<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4MDY0OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0MDAxOTk3Mn0.UFH9fBx9qg1viY44abzSICqYdsMRrU2ep9zMiWwgRIc/img.gif?width=980" id="c2bd9" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="5ea60e1b2ffcfafbe156c7564d4eccb5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Lady Gaga Oscars GIF by SkyGiphy<p>Played in the shallow waters of a lake before knowing how to swim, father told me not to go further in and being the stupid rebellious child i was i immediately went in further and sank just as quick. luckily my father was watching and a former lifeguard, so he jumped in in full clothing and pulled me out.</p><p>the next day my parents bought me floaties. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/gnkvz1j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ArnoNyhm44</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_12" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Of course the best deaths are tv deaths. Some can be viewed as absurdist comedy but then fiction is often based on some reality. Do yourselves a favor and watch <em>"Chuckles Bites the Dust"</em> from The Mary Tyler Moore Show. We've all been Mary at a funeral. Just pray you never become a Chuckles. And for extra credit watch Hilary's fiancée Trevor die on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Ouch. </p>
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<p class=""><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/" target="_blank">REDDIT</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lko2jl/whats_the_dumbest_way_you_almost_died/" target="_blank"></a>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>.</p>
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People Explain Which Things They Changed In Their Life That Made It So Much Better
February 24 | 2021
We may not know it, but sometimes things that seem routine or are just one of our personal habits can really hold back our lives.
One little change to cut those things, or to include new things, can really change the quality of our lives for the better. We have to be willing to drop old routines, which is hard and scary; and we need to be willing to accept new ideas into our space, which is also hard and scary.
<p>But the risk is almost always worth the reward, in this case.</p><p>u/Jimmyb_3333 asked:</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/loo05u/what_changed_in_your_life_that_made_it_so_much/" target="_blank">What changed in your life that made it so much better?</a><br></p><p>Here were some of those answers.</p><p><br></p>
<p><strong>So what is it that you need in your life? Is it a new habit? A new place to travel? To tell someone you love them?</strong><br></p><p><strong>Take this as a sign that you should do it.</strong></p>
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New Body Parts
<p>The kidney transplant I just received on Monday (Feb 15, 2021).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/wanderingwiccan/" target="_blank">wanderingwiccan</a></p><p>It's amazing isn't it? Going on 17 years with mine and couldn't agree more. I'll never forget how miserable I was when my kidneys were failing and I started dialysis. </p><p>Those memories serve as added motivation to keep healthy now. Life is good. Best wishes to you moving forward!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/realTurdFergusun/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">realTurdFergusun</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Out Vs. In
<p>Giving up on trying to cure being a introvert and just being happy</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/RedditerAbc123/" target="_blank">RedditerAbc123</a></p><p>Introverts have just as much fun there are just fewer witnesses</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/minisis85/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">minisis85</a></p><p>Accepting yourself is truly liberating.</p><p>There's one important aspect of being an introvert or extrovert. As an introvert, you recharge by being alone. Extroverts recharge by being around people.</p><p>I occasionally enjoy being around people, and I'm good at being social. I even perform music in public. However, when I'm done with all that, I go home and have to unwind. If I go long periods of time without enough alone time, I start getting progressively more irritated and frustrated.</p><p>I actually feel happy and at peace when I'm alone. Other people will tell me they feel lonely, or like their apartment feels empty. For me it's a direct source of happiness, this isolation and peace. I don't want a family, a partner or even pets. I don't even like hearing neighbors around. Solitude is freedom.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sunsetdive/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sunsetdive</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Git That Mental Health
<p>I did therapy for around three years, and I recommend it to folks to try at least once in their life. It can take a little time, as a lot of it comes down to having the right therapist who can get through to you, (advice: if you need to switch to a diff. Therapist or, at any time want to simply take a week or two off, during the process- voice that to your therapist.)</p><p>Wishing you all the best on your journey, there were times I'd second guess myself if it was "working" right away, but trust the process, you'll take a lot from the experience & learn a ton about yourself!</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Puzzleheaded_Stress7/" target="_blank">Puzzleheaded_Stress7</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong>All it takes is one simple action for your life to change forever.</strong></p>
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I Am Not Everybody's Parent
<p>I stopped caring so much.</p><p>For as long as I remember I've felt a burden of responsibility to my parents, my brother, to myself. Throughout my whole life my parents have relied on me to be the voice of reason, to be the one who has sound mind, to be the one good with finances, to give them advice. It's not healthy for a kid to be put under that kind of pressure, and it just built and built until they filed for bankruptcy in 2017, and when I burned out at work last year.</p><p>I went to therapy for a bit (for the 3rd time lol) after I burned out and realized that I'm putting up such a high bar of responsibility for myself and it makes, and made, my life ridiculously miserable.</p><p>I'm still working and going to school, but having a more relaxed attitude and almost forcing myself to procrastinate on my schoolwork has made my life so much more enjoyable.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CozysMyName/" target="_blank">CozysMyName</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Superpower Of Sobriety
<p>Quitting alcohol. My life has completely changed in only the best ways. Most notably Ive accomplished all of my dreams.</p><p> I went back to school and earned my bachelor's, found the love of my life and got married, lost a bunch of weight and somehow look like I've aged backwards. Now my only problem is coming up with new dreams.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Billlliejean/" target="_blank">Billlliejean</a></p>A Career Separate From Hostile Energy
<p>For years I was convinced I chose the wrong career, and I was getting extreme anxiety, had to pull the car over a couple times going to work because of panic attacks. </p><p>Lockdown happens a year ago and all my stress disappeared and I realized I love my career, I just HATE office living and commuting. My biggest fear is the pandemic ending and being forced back into that terrible office culture.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/feral_philosopher/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">feral_philosopher</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Just Space To Remember
<p>I've found that journaling helps me remember stuff a lot better. Also, on bad days, I get the catharsis of ranting without having to subject one of my friends to it. </p><p>I can also look back on past events and maybe figure out how I can do things differently or just reminisce. </p><p>Getting my feelings on paper or even a word document helps me deal with things, somehow. I stopped when things got real around last March since writing "I didn't do much today" every day was getting old.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Soulfire1123/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Soulfire1123</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><strong>It almost feels like the missing puzzle piece that could make everything in your life work was there all along, you just needed to put it in the puzzle.</strong></p>
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Just A Better Life
<p>My biological mother is an abusive drug addicted, alcoholic who put everything, including her other daughter, above her youngest child. </p><p>When i was 11, child services placed me with my Dad and his partner (my Mum, for all purposes of the word except birthing.) </p><p>In Australia, previously I was in N.Z. Its been a bumpy road, but I'm now 19, living out of home, have my license, own car, stable job and am studying at uni. I couldn't have done it without my parents, and i have the loving, caring, supportive Mum I craved as a child.</p><p>There was ten minutes where i didnt know if i was going into foster care or with my Dad, and it was the scariest ten minutes of my life, but ultimately that decision was the best thing that happened to me.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/lildee_19/" target="_blank">lildee_19</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Physical = Mental
<p>Losing a significant amount of weight. My overall health is so much better. I sleep like the dead every night, when before I suffered badly from insomnia. </p><p>My blood pressure has come down to normal levels. I'm no longer pre-diabetic. I have cut back on the amount of medication I have to take, which obviously means I have money to spend that I didn't before. </p><p>I love exercising, even when I was morbidly obese, I enjoyed walking. Now I enjoy walking and I can walk so much further and faster than I could before. Another thing is the major change in my mental health. I was in a very dark space, and I realized the other day how much more positive my outlook in life has become.</p><p>10/10 reccomend. My journey has been slow, but it has been so worth it!</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Smart-Connection6154/" target="_blank">Smart-Connection6154</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Partnership For The Ages
<p>Finally telling my best friend that I was in love with them. We've been dating for two years now and every moment is like living in a dream. They're sitting next to me right now cluelessly singing out loud with headphones in and I'm OBSESSED.</p><p>Also, Covid has allowed me to drive around the country while working remotely and actually do a lot of the hikes that have always been on my bucket list. It really changed my life by reaffirming my long term goals (stay healthy, get outdoors when I can).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/sodapuppy/" target="_blank">sodapuppy</a></p>
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Wedding Industry Professionals Break Down How They Knew A Couple Was Destined For Divorce
February 24 | 2021
The photographers, DJs, officiates, and planners of the wedding industry hold a unique perspective.
They get to witness the lead-up to the couple's important, deeply symbolic day. Sitting at the table in that context offers those industry professionals a glimpse of the mundane dynamics of couples before the big event.
<p>And sometimes, those minutiae present some serious red flags for the future of that relationship after the vows are exchanged, the decorations stowed away, and life goes on. </p><p>Lucky for us, some of those industry professionals use Reddit, and they shared the sauciest tales from the world of ominous weddings. </p><p>Justhearmeoit asked, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"People that work in the wedding industry, have you ever seen a couple and immediately thought 'this ends in divorce?' Why?"</a></p>
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<p>Some people chose to share about the times when the problems of the relationship weren't subtle at all. They talked about full on arguments and fights that occurred. </p><p>Needless to say, it was clear to these professionals where things were headed for the couple. </p>
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Same-Day Annulment Service?
<p>"They had a big fight the night before the wedding and were considering calling it off. Until the bride showed up 30 minutes before the ceremony, no one was sure if she would be there at all. </p><p>"The groom danced with his MOM more times than he did with the bride. The bride was snippy and nitpicky with the staff all night."</p><p>"The word 'annulment' was cast around and I hope to god they went through with it the next day because holy sh**."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofrkw5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">pm_me_your_molars</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Damn the Torpedoes, Going Through With it Anyway
<p>"I work and in a hotel. I came in one night to find the wedding was already wrapped up (it was supposed to go until 1 AM and it was 11 PM) because the wedding couple had a fight and she went home with mom."</p><p>"At another one they had a huge rehearsal dinner fight which spilled out into the lobby."</p><p>"Everyone in the lobby found out that she hated his parents, she was pregnant and she had no idea who the father was, and a few other things. Half the guest list packed up and checked out the next day."</p><p>"They still got married."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofqmg0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">mesembryanthemum</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Zero Investment, Just Another Workday
<p>"I used to work at a popular wedding venue. Bride and groom came in the day before for rehearsal, checked the decorations, and played a sweet video of the couple, standard wedding bullsh**."</p><p>"Next day, bride and groom arrived fighting the entire time until reception where the groom proceeded to drink himself blind before speeches and had to be carried out, didn't even get to play that video."</p><p>"It was the best shift ever, got to go home early and take home a bunch of food already paid for."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofktsp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ihatepeasoup</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>In a few cases, the couple itself actually seemed quite strong and loving. Unfortunately, that's not the only thing that matters. </p><p>Marriage unites entire families, for better or worse. </p>
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Water and Oil
<p>"A few times as a photographer. The couple were usually fine, the families themselves were too different and combative." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofjuji?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AnchorBuddy</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;"><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofjuji?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>"Oh my god yes. My and my fiance would be married by now if the idea of our families actually meeting wasn't absolutely horrifying." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gog9q1t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">elkwaffle</a><span></span></p>Horrible Moment to Bring That Up For First Time
<p>"When the bride and groom argued over why the groom's mother shouldn't get all money given to them on their wedding day. Ya that was a red flag." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofn53u?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JoeEIRE</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Hahaha my ex tried to convince me to let his mum take the money that night and we'd collect it the next afternoon when we got back from our hotel stay. Fat chance I'd let the extreme gamblers hold on to that much cash." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gog2wl0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">chanzii</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Love is Earned
<p>"I've been the DJ at a few hundred weddings. There was drama at most of them in some way. One in particular broke out into an old school saloon style fight like in the old 'Western' movies."</p><p>"I'm pretty sure that one didn't last."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/goflnx2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Birdapotamus</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Familial Omens
<p>"Was at a friend's wedding once, it was at the justice of the peace, when the judge or officiant came around to if anyone doesn't believe in the union to speak up or forever hold your peace, a loud 'UH-OH' came shrieking from the back."</p><p>"It was my friends 2 Year old son, everybody was joking saying it was a sign. Less than a year later the couple got divorced."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gogbpxn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SamLJacksonNarrator</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
<p>And finally, sometimes a lack of commitment and fidelity is screaming from the face--or even lips--of the bride or groom. In word and action, some people play with fire on the wedding day, and show their cards. </p><p>I suppose it is better to know that earlier than later. </p>
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Ogling in the Wrong Direction
<p>"Photographing the groom and you see his eyes light up when a guest arrives."</p><p>"You look over and it's a cute woman in a short dress. He smiles, walks up to the woman, picks her up and swings her in his arms."</p><p>"Best smile I captured of the groom all day. Marriage didn't last 6 months from what I've heard."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gogg8xm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Twitfried</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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So Everyone's Up to Speed
<p>"I worked fine dining/catering for over 20 years so Iʻve worked lots of weddings and receptions."</p><p>I once heard a bride at the reception during the toasts say that she actually thought she was asking out the grooms twin brother on their first date and that might actually be cute except she ...just kept going on."</p><p>"How the twin was more compatible, etc. then she ended the toast with 'well...as nice as you are youʻll make a great first husband.' "</p><p>"I was walking past the camera man at that time and you can hear me on tape saying 'did you get that? Tell me you got that.' "</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gog0ifw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Scoobymaybe</a></p>Yup, That'll Do It
<p>"I work for a catering company..."</p><p>"I knew they were going to get a divorce as soon as the bride started grinding on the best man when the groom was puking his guts out in the corner."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lq7btk/people_that_work_in_the_wedding_industry_have_you/gofvs7l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shallotthot</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><br></p><p>Of course, it would be wonderful to feel assured that all weddings go off without a hitch and lead to a long term, loving relationship. </p><p>But let's be honest, that's not reality. Sometimes the event is a calamity. Apparently, sometimes the partnership itself is a calamity. </p><p>And this is the internet, so those are the stories people love to talk about. </p><p>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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Sometimes it seemed like all the rules of high school were more likely designed to make teenagers used to obedience than anything else.
Anybody who passed through the chaotic hallways and droning class sessions of four high school years will be familiar with the realization that the logic behind a school rule is shaky at best.
<p>And even more often, the logic is downright bizarre. </p><p>These rules often serve as an apt illustration of just how out of touch school administrations are with their student bodies. They often prevent something that's not even the true problem, or they're utterly ineffective at creating a desire outcome. </p><p>Some Redditors gathered to recall their high school's most ridiculous examples of these regulations. </p><p>hayley0528 asked, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">"Students of Reddit, what was the weirdest rule your school ever had?"</a></p>
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<p>As you'll no doubt remember, clothes are a hot topic in high school. </p><p>Teenagers are driven to experiment, strive for attention, or adapt to the weather of the conditions around. Schools evidently strive to keep all that behavior in a tight box. </p><p>But sometimes that box takes a pretty wacky form. </p>
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School Pride?
<p>"During summer you had to bring and wear a school hat during break, if you forgot your hat you had to sit inside, and if you were caught playing on the field with no hat you would get detention. </p><p>"I was around 13 at the time and its not even that hot were I live."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gofzlxb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tinfoilhat17</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Not Chill At All
<p>"We had to wear matching underwear in baby blue or white. They would make us kneel down and then they would look down the back of our dress to check." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gogvt3c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Bucketlist074</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"that's sus as fu**" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/goh5r0m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ae64k</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Sounds like sexual harassment" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gohsyek?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Subject_Candy_8411</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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A Shoddy Grasp of Botany
<p>"In our school shirts with the Canadian flag were forbidden for a year or so because the principal decided that it looked like marijuana. Never affected anyone as far as I know but it surely was weird."</p><p>"Also they forbid shirts with text on them for big test and final exams as students kept printing solutions on them."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gogphhq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Forsaken_Hope_7842</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_4" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Other rules seem wildly specific and borderline unnecessary. They attempt to outlaw some very rare occurrence, so a casual observer will find them absurd. </p><p>But these rules always come with a story. </p>
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Trying Out Swears
<p>"This rule sounds weird without context, but in 5th grade we were banned from playing Red Rover."</p><p>"In context, it was because kids would shout profanities like 'red rover, red rover, send a wh*re over' or something like that"</p><p><span></span>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gog6ahk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PonkingtonHeights</a></p>A Fair Expectation
<p>'' 'It is not allowed to intoxicate school staff with the use of illegal substances.' "</p><p>"2 weeks prior, a student thought it was funny to spike a teacher's coffee with XTC."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gog1weu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Sparrow_Kowalski</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Sounds Like a Satire of the Midwest
<p>"I grew up in small town USA in the Midwest."</p><p>"We were banned from saying the word 'corn' because some bullies were using it to tease the farming kids."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gogq2q1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">a_Speck_o_Dust</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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From a Great Height
<p>"We had balconies, think opera style ones, you could watch school plays from and all that. They looked over the primary school building, but we were in middle school."</p><p>"We were not allowed to even stand near them, pissed everyone off because they were the coolest place ever."</p><p>"Why? Because someone took minerals from geography class and threw them at the heads of primary school teachers."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gogb5c2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">premeditiomalorum</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
<p>And some Redditors brought up the relatively common rules many of us are likely familiar with. You may have even had similar regulations at your school. </p><p>But again, the flaws in logic were easy to see and point out. </p>
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Not Universally Enforced
<p>"In our school it was not allowed to talk in any other language except in English or otherwise they would fine us 10 bucks every time they found someone speaking in any other language."</p><p>"The irony is, our teachers spoke in the native language, our principal spoke in native language and even our subjects despite being printed in English were thought in native language."</p><p>"So the question is, do we owe the school the fine or they owe us."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gogo1uw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">boomboomboom97</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Freedom Fighter
<p>"I went to a religious middle school and the genders were very segregated. There was 2 different stairwells, boys and girls couldn't be on the same one."</p><p>"My siblings went to the same middle school years before me and back then it was worse and the boys/girls weren't even in the same classrooms, they'd be on different floors."</p><p>"They even had a boys only soccer team and a girls only field hockey team, but those rules went out the window when I got my parents to complain and get me on the field hockey team."</p><p>"I'm forever known as the kid who fought for equality in that school lol"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/gogfs2b?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AdApprehensive4732</a></p>No Tans There
<p>"My school was very strict about uniform which was strange considering what they missed compared to the measures they took. I'd hazard a guess towards about 40% of all students wearing skinny jeans instead of the school trousers we were supposed to wear."</p><p>"While the year after I left, anyone with a tan was asked to bring in evidence of a holiday (there's no sun in Wales) kids with makeup were given wipes to clean it off and were sent home if they didn't and girls with skirts too high would have them pulled down by teachers."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lqe1v5/students_of_reddit_what_was_the_weirdest_rule/goglggn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Dream_Lands</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p><br></p><p>Now go back and recall your time in high school. Perhaps there were some real doozies that made absolutely no sense whatsover. </p><p>Or maybe they did make perfect sense, but only to your high school's small corner of the world. </p><p>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank">here</a>. </p>
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People Describe The Weirdest Thing Someone Has Ever Gotten Angry At Them For
February 24 | 2021
Image by Peter Ziegler from Pixabay
You don't know what kind of day a person is having.
<p>They could have received some terrible news that morning or maybe they managed to hit every single red light on the way to work. A little bit of understanding could go a long way in helping bridge the gap between someone who's maybe a little off. However, there's never any excuse for behavior like the stories being told below.</p><p>Reddit user, <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Oddities420/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">u/Oddities420</a>, wanted to hear what people got furious at you for:</p><p><em><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/?sort=top" target="_blank">What is the weirdest thing someone has gotten angry at you for?</a></em></p>
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Not In The Workplace
<p>Seems like there's a lot of hostility at work, where people can easily be on edge to hit deadlines or make sure a task is finished properly. While professionalism is always appreciated, let's not forgive these people as they seem like really big jerks.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_36" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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How Dare You Help People??
<p>I got reprimanded at work for putting a homeless employee up in a hotel for a few days, after we had to fire him, so he could get life together. </p><p>I used my own money and they still wrote me up.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/godqk04?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">CertainlyAmbivalent</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_2" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Taking The Hit For Someone Else
<p>I was working with someone on some rather expensive equipment. We were to do a task they had a well documented procedure. The guy I was working with "knew better" and the procedure wasn't any good. I had used the procedure hundreds of times but I opted to let the person show me their way, figuring maybe they knew something I didn't.</p><p>We did it their way and their way was bad. I explained it to them that it was bad. I discussed with them that I used the procedure in that city on multiple times and everything was great. Nope, they knew better so I just came along for the ride.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_3" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Well after about 5 days, this person had f-cked everything up to the point other people noticed the degradation. We were called in and asked if we knew what was going on. I simply said yes and explained we weren't following the procedure. We get lectured and I take my scolding. After it was done, I turned to my partner and asked if they were ready to listen yet?</p><p>After that they refused to work with me and filed a complaint about me with my supervisor. On the plus side, I never worked with them again after that.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/godsv89?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">slider728</a></p>
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I Was Just Offering Help...
<p>I once offered a colleague help because she was struggling. She went flipping psycho at me, telling me I was a f-cking prick etc etc. Our manager called us into her office and told me she didn't care who's fault it was and that I needed to apologize. I told her that this was indicative of her poor management style.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/godv88a?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">mrpooks</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_5" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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The Tricks Of Romance
<p>Being in a relationship is hard enough, opening yourself up and revealing your deepest darkest feelings to a significant other. However, what happens when someone snaps?</p>Whoa, Way To Shoot Yourself In The Foot
<p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/godvttu/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank"></a>I (F) was sitting in a bar once and my friend (also F) struck up a chat with the guy sitting next to her for like 5 min. As the two of them were mildly flirty I was just sort of half-listening in on their convo and kinda on my phone not really paying attention. So anyway, this guy and the guy he was sitting next to (his friend) go to leave and as they are walking out, the friend gets in my face about what a B!TCH I am and I think I'm SO HOT and I didn't even SPEAK to him and didn't ask him a single QUESTION about HIMSELF and I am SO SELFISH and so SELF ABSORBED because I think I'm SO HOT and I'm actually REALLY UGLY and NOT THAT PRETTY anyway!!!</p><p>My friend and I just stared at him like 👁👄👁 until they left and then we burst out laughing.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/godvttu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">libramo0n</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_6" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Really Should Have Been The First Time
<p>My ex girlfriend got mad at me for catching her cheat/send nudes to another guy twice.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/goe8hno?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Long-Worldliness2650</a></p><p>To be fair, you really should have only caught her once.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/goeyo07?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">SaltyPopcornColonel</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_7" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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"I Want You To Want To Do The Dishes."
<p>Doing the dishes with the wrong motivation. </p><p>Apparently I should do the dishes because it brings me personal fulfillment, not because I do it to make the other person happy. It was very odd to me.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/goefdpm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">FoxFireLyre</a></p><div data-conversation-spotlight style="min-height:90px"></div>
Then There's The Other Times...
<p>You're going about your day, minding your own business, then suddenly, BOOM! Someone decides you seem like the best person to take all their frustrations out on.</p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_8" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Maybe Get That Person Out Of A Classroom?
<p>I was in special needs as a child in elementary and I had a hard time using things like pencils or scissors until I was a teenager. In Kindergarten, my class colored and cut out pictures of turkeys for thanksgiving. My teacher walked over to my desk and yelled at me in front of everyone complaining how poorly I cut out my turkey. She yelled at a child IN SPECIAL NEEDS. The teacher forced me to redo my picture while all the other kids got to read with her. It was almost two decades ago and it still pisses me off.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/godwwp0?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">mle7030</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_9" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Maybe Get Better Friends?
<p>One time my friend called me drunkenly at 2 or 3 a.m. to try to get me to confess I was sexually attracted to women because 'everyone is bisexual'. I'm not. For some reason this angered him. He went on and on, getting louder and louder, until he was yelling at me about my sexual preference. I hung up on him.</p><p>We aren't friends anymore because there were a <em>lot</em> of drunk phone calls like this.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/godx1dk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Instar5</a></p>Maybe I DON'T EVEN WORK HERE
<p>A lady got mad at me because I wasn't an employee at a store. I was in after work getting groceries and had my badge on and she assumed I worked there. </p><p>She tried to lecture me about taking my badge off.</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/goe0nb3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">gaybatman75-6</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_10" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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Maybe I Don't Even Know Anymore...
<p>I live in a house with 3 other people and we all rent rooms. Once I got to know them I said to one of them "you can probably let your cats out of your room now that we all know each other" and then I got yelled at for 15 minutes about how I need to shut the f-ck up and not tell people how to take care of their animals and she knows what the f-ck shes doing with her cats... so that was neat</p><p><a target="_blank" href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lpz6j0/what_is_the_weirdest_thing_someone_has_gotten/goe2ke1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3">Gauge117</a></p><div class="ad-tag" data-ad-name="In_Content_Responsive_11" style="min-height:280px"></div>
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<p>Being understanding is a key aspect of being a better person. However, not let someone feel like they can walk over you. Keep your guard up and know your worth. Never feel bad for telling someone to back off.</p><p><em>Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter <a href="https://mailchi.mp/knowable/knowable-newsletter-in-content" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">here</a>. </em></p>
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