There's an excellent Litmus Test for determining how noble a human being you are, and it starts and stops with any nearby fast food drive-thru. If you can pull up, order your food, pay, and leave without treating the employees like garbage, you're a relatively decent human being. If you, or someone you know, can't do that, odds are you probably associate with the terrible people on this list.
Reddit user, u/YangWenli1, wanted to hear about:
Let's Start Off Strong!happy homer simpson GIF Giphy
I worked at a Wendy's!
Had one guy try to order McNuggets over the speaker. When I asked what size they wanted, they got all defensive that I wouldn't call them MCnuggets.
"Fine, fine, fine, I'll take a whopper"
"...uhhh, a Dave's Double? Or Baconator?"
Needless to say, they screamed at me and zoomed off into the smogset. Worst year of my life.
What Did You Think It Was?
Worked at Burgerking around the time free WIFI was becoming a thing. My store even advertised it on the sign outside. One night some guy comes through the driver through and starts to make his order.
Customer: "...Whopper jr with a Coke, and I'll take one weefee" Manager: "Ummm sir do you mean WIFI??" C: "Yeah" M: "Sir that's wireles internet" C: (obviously confused af) "oh" drives away
Another occasion some lady wanted her meal for free. When asked why she said she was a McDonald's assistant manager. Again this was at Burgerking
Almost Got It...c
This was many years ago when I worked at a Pizza Hut. I can't recall the exact exchange now.
Police came in guns drawn yelling "Where is he?!".
"Where is who?" "The guy, the guy!!" "What guy!?" ...
Turns out the alarm was going off at Dominoes about 1/8 mile down the road.
We All Got Problems
I work at an airport in a pizza shop. We tell every guest it's going to be a 6 minute wait for the pizza, and 2 minutes later they come back and demand we rush there food because there plane is boarding. The amount of times I've been told, "Can you hurry I have a flight to catch!" Is utterly bizzare. Everyone has a flight to catch you just suck at timing out sh-t!
Look At The Sign.
I work at Dunkin Donuts and it is a real sh-tshow. My favorites:
- Once our order taking system got out of order. The cashier handed a bag with a sandwich to a girl who had ordered a box of a dozen donuts, and she took it, paid, drove away. Came back confused an hour later saying "I ordered a dozen donuts and got a sandwich instead?" So why did you take the sandwich???
- People love to order in Starbucks sizes or ask for Starbucks drinks. Whenever they say "grande" or whatever I just ask "what size?" Over and over until they get the hint. Same thing with Frappucinos, "So a frozen coffee?" Some people love to argue that we have things like Frappucinos, or nitro cold brew. Please read the menu folks.
Ma'am, Look At The Sign
I work at a chilis and when I was hosting old people would constantly come in and talk about how weird it was that we redecorated so suddenly and where did the salad bar go??
They thought we were Sizzlers which was two buildings away from us. Happened at least four times.
Seriously, Ma'am, Look At The Sign
Work at Panera.
Guest calls in from car, several people in background, all giving orders for a pick up. First order is something simple, next order is an item we don't carry. A salmon dish of some kind. I know there are some regional Paneras that have or have had salmon. We are not one of them.
So I let them know, "Hey, I'm sorry but we don't carry salmon. Maybe-" and the person on the other end of the phone cuts me off and starts getting really aggressive. "Yes you do! YOU DO!" they scream.
But I don't. We don't.
So then I'm like, "Hey, maybe you're thinking of another chain. We are very similar to-" and I start to list off some other places, and they cut me off again screaming, "I KNOW YOU HAVE F-CKING SALMON! WHAT THE F-CK! I ATE IT JUST THE OTHER DAY!"
And at this point I'm just being honest with them and say, "Hey man, I don't really need this attitude. We don't have salmon. I can't make the dish for you. You have us confused with someone else."
There's a long silence and finally someone (not the person who's been yelling) says, "Wait, this isn't *insert some totally not Panera sounding place that I don't remember here*?"
And then everyone in the car starts yelling at each other, and I hang up.
Customer service is the worst.
This Isn't The High Quality Restaurant You Think It Is
Now, working at McDonald's, every single day at the same time, 16:00 this old guy would come in and order his food, most people knew that he wanted a special order, over cook the sh-t out of the patty. Started up right when he walked in.
Anyway that's not the problem, that was easy, the problem is this dude was forgetful as all hell, and would demand a ceramic plate to eat on every time. So that's when we would explain it to him. Dude this is McDonald's, we don't have plates. And he'd usually be like oh right, right. But, Sometimes he would just rant about how we SHOULD have plates. I saw him absolutely flip the f-ck out, because a girl stepped outside the breakroom with a plate of food she brought from home. I KNEW YOU BASTARDS HAD PLATES and could not convince him otherwise ever there after.
Keep it in the breakroom is the moral of the story
...Yeahbuwha?season 3 confusion GIF Giphy
Dude came to drive thru. I open the window, "sir, how can I help you."
"I'm outa checks." He replies calmly.
"Not sure I follow you." I say.
"I'm outa checks." He says again more impatiently.
"Right, I heard you but I don't know what you want me to do about it. You can pay with cash or card too."
Dude gives me a weird look then says, "Oh this ain't the bank." And peels out away from the window.
I'm a pharmacist.
Pay Me Back For All These Pizzas I Didn't Buy
I am late to the party but anyway.
As teenager I was working at a supermarket weekends.
An older lady comes to me and shows me a frozen pizza and explains me that all the pizzas have reached the best before date and was really mad. She was demanding that I remove all the pizzas and a compensation (for what?) and so on. The date on the pizza was the production date
Sir, We Only Serve Photos Here.
I worked in a photo lab inside a Walmart, that also had a McDonalds. Everything in the photo lab was yellow. The cupboards and the walls and what not.
One day some guy walks in and orders a quarter pounder with cheese. We were like umm sorry this is a photo lab. He says oh for f sakes, I saw all the yellow and just thought you were Mcdonalds lol
We Can Only Tell You So Many Times
I worked at Panera for 6 years and I about lost it with this one.
Guy orders his food and I ask ,"do you want the apple, baguette or chips?"
He goes. "Umm, I'll take a nugget", with the most serious look ever on his face.
I still laugh about it to this day.
SERIOUSLY. Did You Look At The Sign?
Legit had an old man walk up into the Pizza Hut I worked at and ask the manager for a cheeseburger. She told him we didn't serve burgers and he goes "Well what do you have?" She looked at him dumbfounded and replied "Pizza..." His response? "Oh I don't like that I'll just take a cheeseburger."
And the cycle repeated...
We Don't Do That Here
I worked at McDonald's and I was getting yelled at by a lady that was a splitting image of Tina from Bob's Burgers. She was upset because I couldn't replicate that stupid f-cking pink drink from Starbucks. I wouldn't even know how. After a few minutes of my manager and I explaining that she's not at a f-cking Starbucks, she settled for a vanilla iced coffee. I made the drink and handed it to her personally.
She then removed an old dirty Starbucks cup from her purse, poured her fresh made drink in there and threw the McDonald's cup at me.
Who Needs The Hassle?
It wasn't me involved but I witnessed it.
I worked at Burger King when I was a teenager. We are short staffed one day, and the girl on the drive thru was on break so our manager stepped in to cover her.
He was pretty old and didn't have the best hearing, so most customers were pulling around to the window to talk to him as he was struggling to hear through the headset. Anyway this one guy rolls up to the window and shouts "I want a large big mac meal with a coke PLEASE! Is that so damn hard?!"
My manager very calmy says "my apologies sir, that won't be difficult." he leans out of the window and points down the road "there's a McDonald's about 3 miles in that direction. They'll be able to help. Have a nice day sir." Then he just closes the window and walks around the corner out of sight. I laughed so hard!!
What Else Would A Dairy Queen Serve?
Worked at a Dairy Queen. Had a lady saunter in all frustrated, bag in hand. Whipped out her receipt and without giving me much context said, "there's supped to be a Baja Blast." I told her "m'am this is for Taco Bell." She quickly said "my bad" and sped out of the restaurant. I think she was making up a story and did it in the wrong store.
Also the number of people who asked "do you serve ice cream" is way too f-ckin high
Sir, You're In A Mall...homer simpson episode 10 GIF Giphy
Was a shift manager at a McDonald's in the middle of a mall. A guy walks up to the counter with several McDonald's bags of food.
Guy: My wife came through your drive-thru and you messed up the order!
Me: Are you sure she came through our drive-thru?
Guy: Yes! She told me she came through the drive-thru, and when she got home she realized the order was wrong. Y'all need to give us our money back and give us the right food.
Me: confused while looking around the mall
Me: Did she drive through Sears or JC Penny to get here?
Guy: Looks around and finally realizes he's in the middle of a mall. Grabs the bags and huffs away.
That was the single greatest amount of human stupidity I had experienced...until I joined Reddit.
This happened at an actual Wendy's. Its a bit long but trust me, its worth it to read.
I once had a woman come through the drive through and try to order Macaroni and cheese. I politely informed her we did not have that. She insisted we did. I told her we definitely didnt. She got angry and yelled that yes we did. I told her "ma'am Ive been working here 3 years. We have NEVER had macaroni and cheese. Its not something we serve. Would you like to order something else?" Shes says "yes you f-cking do! I can see it on the menu board! Its RIGHT there right in front of me on the menu!" I tell her Im really not sure what shes looking at, but we dont have mac and cheese, and if it really does say mac and cheese on our menu board then that means someone vandalized it. She says no, its definitely part of the menu board and its real and we do have it, and she isnt leaving until she gets her mac and cheese.
Cue quite literally 10 minutes of this back and forth, all while she's holding up the drive through line. I finally got the manager to come over and deal with it after asking him for the 15th time because they dont pay me NEARLY enough to deal with that for that long.
The woman absolutely REFUSES to accept that we dont have mac n cheese. She also refuses to order anything else, and wont move her car until we give her the mac and cheese that we dont have. We have a line of cars wrapped around the building now and everyone is pissed. Its been half an hour and the line has not moved.
The manager tells her if she doesnt leave, he's gonna have to call the cops. She screams she cant understand why we're doing all this, and why we wont just serve her mac and cheese when she can CLEARLY see it on our menu board right in front of her so we DO have it and why are we lying to her?
I decided enough is enough, I exit the building, walk along the outside to the drive through order screen where this woman's car is.
I tell her to please show me on the menu where it says the words "macaroni and cheese" anywhere.
She points and confidently says "Right there!" With all the conviction of someone who is absolutely sure they just proved some big dumb idiot wrong and that they will be hailed as a hero.
I look where shes pointing.
I see it.
I sigh heavily as a bit more of my soul dies.
I compose myself and say, as politely as I possibly can:
"That is a picture of the orange slices that come with the kids meal. We do not serve mac and cheese. Please drive away before the police get here."
She looks confused, looks at the menu board again, the realization dawns on her, and she drives off without a word. I go back inside and scream in the walk-in freezer for 10 minutes.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.