I got ten calls today alone. So that counts as a slow day. Usually they taper off as the week winds down. Does anyone know anything about this EDU education opportunity? I could care less. I don't have the energy to fight with them but I could be inspired.
Meow...
cat lady meow GIF by America's Funniest Home VideosGiphyI once meowed at a scam caller. They asked me to repeat myself, so I meowed at them again. Then they meowed back and I didn't know what to do so I hung up.
A New Number
I tell them the phone is about to go dead and to call my other line. I give them the state attorney general's office phone number.
I've done a similar gag with giving them the Federal Trade Commission's 800# scam reporting hotline. There's one scam that calls me a lot, where they ask for the phone number on the back of your credit card for some reason.
One lady actually had the audacity to come back from having me on hold and said, "Sorry sir, that's the number for the FTC. I need the number for your bank."
Scamming the Scam
Just act like you're also a scam call.
One time I did a conference call with 2 tech support scammers and I just stayed silent. It was incredibly funny.
Broken Words
I put on my mother's broken English accent and make them talk as slowly as possible, and repeat themselves by rewording things I say I don't understand. They stay on a lot longer than you'd expect.
This is why education is so important. With that, I mean, spend some time with your elderly and less IT literate family members and friends.
No need to form a classroom, just show them what to look for and teach them some of the warning signs.
Or if you want to have some fun, do what James Veitch does. Reply to that scam email, play along during the scam call, have some fun with them and waste their time. Because for every minute they spend wasting time on you, is a minute they cannot exploit the vulnerable.
Wrong Number
GIF by Achievement HunterGiphyAct naive and worried about whatever they are telling you. Whenever they then ask you to provide your social security, bank account number or whatever, just keep repeating the same number.
Mix up numbers, and be like, oh wait, was that a 5? I think that should be a 9... or was that one 7 and then 5? Hold on, let me see if I can find that darn card.
Ok, I'm definitely taking notes and bookmarking this thread. I like the meowing thing. Maybe I should just strike up a conversation about my life? Then they'd need a drink and hang up first. Hmmm...
Confused
Confused Hanna Barbera GIF by Warner ArchiveGiphyA friend pretends to have dementia and be hard of hearing. The dementia excites them because they smell a payday and will stay on the phone forever, constantly repeating their spiel while trying to get a credit card number.
Hold Please
Act busy at work and keep getting interrupted and having to put them on hold. I frequently get cussed out and its very satisfying. My record is 35 mins.
I need to try this, I'm a veterinarian receptionist, so I can think of MANY ways to make a scammer uncomfortable.
Let's Chat
Sometimes I talk them for a while, maybe 20-30 minutes. Nothing like Kitboga but just if I'm bored or driving somewhere.
One time I got a call and had nothing better to do, so I thought I'd play along. "Hello sir, we're calling from whatever, how are you today?" "I'm pretty good, just chillin' casually watching some porn." Click
It seems to be super effective.
Mommy...
GiphyPretend you're a child and that your mommy isn't home. I did it once. I don't let them finish, I just kept telling stories about my teddy bear and eventually they dropped the call.
All good ideas. Of course, maybe I could get a gig as a caller and take them down from the inside. Better to know your enemy. Let me get some sleep, it'll be a long day phone ringing tomorrow.
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My one dog, Juliet, is the worst. She will actually scratch at my leg and then when I turn to say "WHAT?" she will dramatically, a la Scarlett O'Hara, twist and throw herself to the floor. I can actually feel the vapors. Like really girl? Who else knows what I'm talking about?
Head First
Happy John Oliver GIF by Last Week Tonight with John OliverGiphyMy dog head butts me in the leg. She walks over, and head butts my leg. Then she holds her head against my leg and won't move until I scratch behind her ears long enough to please her majesty.
Cornered
My cat learned pretty quickly that if he messes with the papers on the counter, he gets attention. It's negative attention, but he gets it and apparently loves it because he'll sit down and get comfortable and just start flipping his paw through it like it's his paperwork. If I ignore that he escalates to biting off corners. He knows that'll get me every time.
Poop Gifts
Our dog bring us toys when she needs to go potty. And when you let her outside to the deck you have to tell her to go down to the grass, or she'll forget why she's outside and sit at the door. Smart.
Fighting Fur
Mine attacks my other cat. He knows if he does that I have to get up to break it up. I don't know how to break this cycle. If I ignore it, he gets frustrated and takes it out even worse on the other cat. People are like "Just ignore him", but I don't really want a full blown cat fight happening, fur all over my apartment, and my other cat being beaten up because my first cat is a jerk (who is currently curled up, sleeping contentedly against my leg).
Gnawing
guinea pig eating GIFGiphyGuinea pig grips the cage door with her teeth, shaking it so loud it sounds like an old washing machine on spin cycle.
See, these fools know what they're doing. My other dog, Rocco, he will stare at me. I mean like serial killer, no blinking, stare me down dead. Then every few minutes lick one lip. Just one. He's a bit much. Just like that guinea pig. Moving on...
Creepy Cat
Cat Ear GIF by swerkGiphyMy cat has found that licking my lips wakes me up pretty quickly.
Mine too! I don't mind the kisses though. I just give him the attention he wants. My fiancé says, he gets on my pillow during the night and stares at me. And he'll do that all through the night. He must get enough of me sleeping and can't wait a moment longer. Once I'm awake he will come near me and raise a paw to let me know he wants attention. Such a little gentleman.
The Mat
My new cat started scratching at my standing mat in my home office (NO!!!) so the second she scratched at the wood bridge I put in the kitchen to link the top of the cabinets for her, I gave her treats. I continue to reward her for scratching there, even if it's just attention. She will escalate to scratching at other things up there but none of it matters so I just give her attention for that. She has not touched the mat since so I guess it worked.
RESET
Oh No Facepalm GIFGiphyMy cat thinks she can "reset" the affection/attention levels by leaving and reentering the room.
If I leave my cat alone for a while, she'll eventually leave... only to come right back a few minutes later, pretending like it's the first time that day that she's seen me.
Funny thing is it works.
Popcorning?
Oh, I have 2 guinea pigs and they get my attention by flipping over their igloos, then popcorning on them.
I had to look up what popcorning was. Oh my god that's adorable!!
Tip: when you look up something, share it here.
Popcorning is the name for those crazy leaps your guinea pig does in the air, and there's a reason for it. If your little piggy is bucking, squealing, and just generally acting crazy, then you're probably looking at a popcorning guinea pig.
McUluld
"The Attention Spot"
White Dog GIFGiphyThe way our living area is set up, we have a short couch in front of our computers with a dog bed at armrest-height next to my partner. It's really only a big enough space for one dog.
We have a collie mix and a gshep mix. When the collie has decided the gshep has been in "The Attention Spot" for too long, he will run to the front door, bark a "Mailman is Here" alarm, and the gshep will run to the assigned Barking Position at the guest bedroom window.
Then the collie will casually claim The Attention Spot while the gshep frantically barks at nothing.
Clever little menace.
Little Noises
I stopped working in 2019 for health reasons, and my cat has gotten used to me being home every day. When she wakes up, she squeaks/yowls at me until I follow her to the couch, where I have to sit down and put a blanket on my lap so she can curl up and get her morning pets. She's got me trained pretty well.
I'm glad I'm not alone. But regardless of their suspicious actions, we'll never stop loving them and trying to vie for their attentions. Maybe not my cat. She likes to jump, from and to everywhere, and it freaks me out. I prefer she stay upstairs. LOL...
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