Sex is meant to be fun. Yes it is an imperative part of the procreation process but it most certainly meant to be a time of revelry. Whether you know one another that well or not. So why not open up the experience! There is no written rule that insists sex is to stay between only two people. Sometimes the more is the merrier.... sometimes. All of our actions come with consequences, professionally and personally. Be prepared for the pandora's box you open. Two can often be the safer number and fantasy should stay fantasy.
Redditor u/CRM2018 wanted to know who was wiling to share a few saucy secrets about their love lives and it's activities by asking.... Redditors that have had a threesome and regretted it, what was the unexpected fallout?
Happy Valentines? :(
Well, I semi-regretted it. Like it was fun, but maybe I would have liked a better 3rd.
Anyway, freshman year of college I was into this guy and he had slept with this other girl in our friend group but was also into me. Valentines day we're all single, we go at it, and we have a great time. Later I end up dating the dude and like 2 or 3 years into the relationship he cheats on me with 3some girl. ooglecat
Not Cute.
Giphy
It was me, my girlfriend, and my friend. Well, ex-girlfriend now because she started dating my friend afterwords. TreGoa64
Got an unwelcome surprise......
Didn't realize the other guy was into me
Got an unwelcome surprise. grapestreet9
This is why it's really important when you do anything kink-related, even if it's supposed to just be a "vanilla" threesome, to negotiate rules beforehand. What's okay, what is definitely NOT okay. That way nobody gets unpleasant surprises.
Even when you think it's obvious, like "no you may not penetrate my anus without asking," some people may assume that it's okay. Raudskeggr
A Movie Plot.
I (f) had a threesome with my bf at the time (now my ex) and a mutual female friend of ours.
He ended up cheating on me multiple times with her afterward, and then ended up becoming obsessed with her, almost to the point of stalking. He even stole a friend's car to go see her. It was wild. Lol. chengsao
Avenger.
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The guy was built like a Superhero, so I spent most of the "experience" trying to suck my gut in.... praying for it to be over. OldmanShed
Blood is a No.
This is my time to shine.
When I was 19 I (F) was invited by a couple to participate in a threesome. They were both super hot so I was pumped!!
So it starts and everything is going fine, we're all touching each other whatever. We get into a position where I'm sitting on her face while she lays on her back and her boyfriend has sex with her missionary. All good until the boyfriend kinda shoved me off her? I was like wtf? Then she gets up and her face is absolutely COVERED in blood. Like lion after eating a zebra blood. It's literally everywhere: the sheets, the pillows, her face, his hands, you get the point.
Turns out she sliced the inside of my vagina with her very sharp acrylic nails (they looked very nice just don't feel the best against my fragile vaginal membrane) and I was bleeding profusely.
I cleaned myself off and was like....."I'm gonna go..." and they were like bye...
It's still one of my absolute favorite stories ever. Reddit
Talons.
Giphy
I'm gonna cut straight to the dish....
My buddy's big toe nail grazed my butthole while trying to switch positions with her. I never told a man to cut his toenails before and hopefully never will again. ImpossibleWeirdo
Oooof.
I don't know if I regretted it per se, but I was the third wheel. After the sexcapade we passed out and later on that night her boyfriend went to the bathroom. She then cuddled up to me and said 'that was really fun and all but if we do this again can we get somebody I am attracted too.' Then her boyfriend walked back in and she realized that I wasn't him, I could literally feel the room fill up with awkwardness. Windbelow616
No Touching.
Giphy
I had a threesome with two guys and it was kinda awkward seeing how they were trying not to touch each other during the whole thing. It was cool and everything but they were so trying to avoid any kind of touching and I get if two guys don't want their members to touch but they wouldn't even touch legs by accident and that is hard when you're getting dp'd by two tall guys lol. suki_ta_
Hindsight.
I mean, i guess it wasn't necessarily unexpected, but it just ruined my relationship with my girlfriend at the time. We had a threesome with a female friend of hers, and she couldn't get the image of me having sex with her friend out of her head. She said that she couldn't shake the feeling that if I truly loved her, i wouldn't have been able to sleep with someone else.
Worst part of it was my gf was essentially my dream girl, and the girl we added to the mix wasn't nearly as spectacular as she was. So i traded a longterm relationship with my dream girl for one night of a threesome, and i would NEVER have made that trade with hindsight.
That said, waking up in the morning with a hot naked girl on each side of me was pretty incredible. Buffal0_Meat
OUCH!
Giphy
I had a threesome with my girlfriend and best friend. She left me for him. They have been married for over 10 years. Tacomancer42
Salty Feels....
My ex came home from the bar with his friend and asked if I would have a threesome with them. I reluctantly agreed after drinking a little. The experience was pretty good but my ex was so insecure and made my life miserable for a few weeks after that because he was salty about the fact that I actually enjoyed it. No idea what he was expecting. Viiibrations
I never talked to those morons again.
My girlfriend at the time was hanging out in her bedroom with her roommate. I was watching TV in the living room.
Her roommate comes out of the bedroom wearing a sheet. She looks at me and says, "We're having sex back here. You should join us" and drops the sheet.
She was physically attractive, but I didn't like her personality at all. I said no.
She shrugged, then went back into the bedroom. They were in there a good hour or so, when my girlfriend comes out, naked and crying. She kept apologizing for "cheating on me". I told her it was ok, I understood, everything was going to be all right.
About two weeks later she dumps me. Said she couldn't trust me BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO HER ROOMMATE.
She dumped me at my birthday party. She messed with my best friend that night in the room next to where I was sleeping, then came in afterwards to make sure I heard it and knew what was happening. She asked if I was okay, I said no, she started laughing.
We were all sleeping in a cabin in the woods and I was drunk as hell, so I walked away.
I never talked to those morons again.
I figure I got about ten miles out and passed out on the side of the road. Woke up when a couple of good ol boys tossed me in the back of their truck. They were going to drive me to the hospital, but I told them what happened and they drove me home... About two hours away. I gave them twenty bucks for gas and they turned it down. DoomOne
Cry not Pretty....
Giphy
My ex gf's friend stopped us in the middle of it to ugly cry for the rest of the night about how she wanted her ex back... needless to say it stopped pretty quick. Grt38
Back Up Kids....
I was the third for this couple, they were both really keen on me. The experience was actually pretty normal, but afterwards they kept pestering me for more. I had realized I wasn't that interested in the both of them and kept politely declining their offers. They never stopped offering, so I finally had to say I wasn't interested. I'd see one or both of them around occasionally and they'd give me a half-hearted smile. A_Sassy_Sammich
ALONE....
Giphy
I had really strong feeling for this guy, and we he been flirting for a while. It was going well, and one night I was over at his house with another female friend of ours. We got drunk, one thing led to another, and we had a threesome.
Now they are dating and I'm still alone. PinkAcrobelle
"Looks like you two are good, I will leave you to it."
I was asked by my girlfriend to have a threesome with her and her best friend... a friend I had known for a long time and who had actually introduced us.
A couple of minutes into it I realized that my girlfriend was not remotely interested and had pulled back... which made it awkward because I was not remotely interested in my friend sexually... I only agreed to it because my girlfriend asked and she had been a little distant lately... I thought it might help rekindle the relationship.
I carried on and did my best to make my friend happy... and then all of a sudden my girlfriend stood up and said "Looks like you two are good, I will leave you to it."
I stopped what I was doing and asked WTF was going on, and eventually they explained that the whole thing was a scheme for my girlfriend to break up with me and "pass me over" to her best friend who apparently had a crush on me.
Needless to say this did not go down well, and I ended up losing both of them from my life. hokeyWB
Not with my Wife...
My wife and I had a threesome with a friend of mine that had recently left the military. Everything seemed fine until he told us he was in love with my wife, his brother also happened to be my best friend (we're not as close as we were though) who is super insecure and apparently also had feelings for my wife.
Later my military friend was diagnosed with schizophrenia and his delusions were telling him I was the most evil person on the planet, and that aliens were gonna give him super powers and disintegrate me (that is not an exaggeration.) He now gets monthly shots from the VA and he's doing a lot better. lemonyfreshpine
Late to this discussion.
Late to this discussion. Not exactly a one time threesome but more of a live-in crazy toy situation. So about 6ish months of threesomes and poly relationship. The dude was super sick and took meds all the time and had tons of doctors appointments. They told me he had Lymphatic cancer. This was only part of the truth.
A friend of theirs came to visit one day and saw the situation, asked me if I knew why dude was so sick and I responded "well yea, he has cancer" and I will never forget the look on friends face when he realized he would have to be the one to tell me that dude had AIDS.
I confronted dude and he lied to me. Irate, yelling and screaming at me for even thinking about accusing him. I called his wife in tears and asked her. The first words out of her mouth were, "I'm so sorry. We never meant to hurt you."
So yea. Never again. This happened 12 years ago. I was 17 at the time. I got lucky in that I didn't contract HIV. I still get tested annually and disclose that I've been exposed to it to any potential partners, but it definitely could have ended much worse. Dead_in_the_BrainPan
Don't Outdo!
Giphy
I had an unplanned threesome with a close friend and her boyfriend. He's well endowed and apparently she couldn't handle giving him oral, but I didn't know that and while we were fooling around I gave it to him. Like, really good. Like so good he wouldn't stop talking about how good it was and asking why she doesn't give it like I do. It made her insecure and put a strain on our friendship as a result. Even after they broke up, my friendship with her wasn't the same. D0rkasaurusRex
Case in point...
Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:
"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"
If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.
What a Difference
Blockbuster GIF by Big Potato GamesGiphy"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33
"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god
Discs
"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59
"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar
"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace
Discharge
"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods
"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray
"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh
Interpretations...
"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza
"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock
Necessities...
toilet paper help GIFGiphy"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship
I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?
Spin
fidget GIF by Future GenerationsGiphy"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42
Way back when...
"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass
"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug
All Yours...
"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard
"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor
Dial Up
"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded
"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli
"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor
So close...
ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIFGiphy"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe
McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.
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They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.
What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?
No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.
Maybe it already has?
Reddit user BMA1500 asked:
"What sh*t are you too old for?"
Let's take a look at how "too old" hit these Reddit users.
Internet Arguments
"Arguing with ignorant people on the internet."
- Brundleflyftw
"Amen!"
"I have no patience or bandwidth to argue with random a-holes on social. Learned that lesson a long time ago."
"Too many fakes and bots now anyway. I am pretty much a 'read only' user of other platforms and only share opinions in person on polarizing issues."
- grumpybaldguy
Games
"Petty games while talking to a potential partner."
"Just be straight up and real with me. Tricks are for kids."
- Squanch42069
"I've always felt this way."
"I remember when one of my girls explained the concept of 'playing hard to get' to me and I was annoyed just hearing it."
"If I have to chase you, that means you’re running away, and I don’t have time for that. If you seem uninterested, I’ll take it on the chin and leave you alone."
"If you like me just say that. If you don’t like me just say that. It’s not hard and moves the process along much faster."
"If you text me and I’m free, I’m going to text back. I’m not going to wait three hours for aesthetic purposes."
"The list goes on."
- -helpwanted
GiphyCut That Out
"This sounds like some Instagram motivational sh*t, but spending time around people that I genuinely don't like or who make me unhappy and uncomfortable."
"There's so short of a time we have on this Earth and it just hit me right before I turned 30 that I spent a ton of that time with people who I thought sucked."
"I cut that out and I'm much happier."
- PrairieBunny91
"BOOM!"
"I realized this at my cousins wedding. I had a family member walk up to me flat out call me ugly, fat and say that I wasn’t the “good” family guy anymore."
"What!?!? Why would you even say that?? And they said it with a smile on their face the whole time..."
"After that night I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and I’m super happy! I’m too f*cking old to be dealing with that nonsense for the rest of my life."
- MuffinTrucker
GiphyExistential Crisis
"Drinking heavily."
"It takes days to recover now, and most bad hangovers come with an existential crisis attached."
- TheOptimumLemon
"Same."
"When I was young I remember times I'd have a day off from work and be like 'Hell yeah, I'm gonna get trashed and play video games all night it's gonna be great!' "
"Now it's like "Great, I'm 3 drinks in and I'm just tired & have heart burn.' "
"It's not the same."
- dont_panic21
"I used to work 12-9pm, party the entire night. And then be back to work like a pro."
"If this was a Friday, partying used to resume Saturday afternoon. That was my early 20s."
"In my 30s now, and I wait for Fridays so that I can be dead on my bed the entire Saturday."
- youngOldMonk
"The existential crisis is the worst. Just lying there wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, what came to this and when you are going to grow out of it."
"Then it passes and life goes on."
- Noggin-a-Floggin
GiphyNothing "General"
"General admission tickets. My old ass requires a reserved seat."
- sunflakie
"Hahaha… last gen admission show I went to I had to find a 'comfortable' wall to lean on."
- jmmorart317
"When it comes to music festivals, the wife and I go for VIP just so we can get fancier washrooms and shorter lines at the food trucks."
- VanillaGorilla
"I agree but, man, it makes feel like I’m a spectator at at a concert and not part of the real party down on the floor."
- MudIsland
GiphyAsk Yourself
"Facebook."
"There comes an age when you have to consider... 'Do I really care what kind of clickbait sh*t my high school friends who I never talk to and never will see, likes?' "
"I only had Facebook because it helped with socializing in college/high school, but afterwards it's really hard to want to add new friends because they can see your history, and you can too."
- chupalaw
"Honestly, the only reason why I have a Facebook is because I still have my mom as my friend and she passed 4 years ago."
"Every time I go on there, I'm tired now."
- mxnstrs
"I deleted Facebook three years ago."
"Found out all my Marine Corps buddies were either total idiots, painfully stereotypical post-9/11 veterans, ill-informed political junkies, and mostly people I haven't had anything to do with in years."
- combativewaifu
GiphyMoving
"Moving or helping other people move. Just no."
- Hasenpfeffer_
"I've moved a lot of times and have helped many people move."
"One of the best decisions I've ever made was hiring movers. 300 bucks for the big stuff is money extremely well spent."
- aigheadish
"I've broken my body helping people move because I'm the 'young and strong guy' in the friend group. Way too many times now. F*ck that sh*t, hire movers."
- Disastrous_Budget_11
"I can agree with this."
"I used to work as a mover for a couple summers and I don't even want to move myself lmao."
- bigelmn8r
GiphyNot The Cool Old Guy
"Tik Tok."
"I told myself when I get older I need to be open minded and not the close minded grumpy old man..."
"Then I see all these obviously staged videos and corny dancing/lip syncing stuff and realize it’s inevitable I am not gonna be the cool old guy."
- traws06
"I have this exact same process with TikTok."
"I think to myself, 'I’m really the bitter old woman I said I would never be, aren’t I?' Lol"
- moothemost
"I’ve downloaded TikTok at least 3 times and deleted it almost immediately."
"I am drawing a line at TikTok. I’m old."
- theslother
GiphySince We're Talking About TikTok...
"When Macy's Thanksgiving Parade performers are introduced as "TikTok sensation" without any other credentials worth mentioning."
- Foxhound199
"I think the only performer I knew yesterday was Kelly Rowland because of Destiny’s Child."
"My google search history is full of my confusion."
- independencedaffodil
"Oh man I’m so glad we missed the parade then. Maybe I’m just too old but that would’ve been cringe."
- takeoutthewitch
GiphyWhy Are We Screaming?
"People (mainly young girls) who scream for no reason."
"I understand if you're terrified of something, but screaming when you meet up with your friends or just when the situation does not call for it makes me SO mad. I find it so infuriating."
"Just shut up. Lol."
- CatReal7672
"My kids learned a very long time ago not to scream like that. I hate excessive loud noise in any environment, but it’s especially nerve wracking in close quarters."
"My Mother-in-Law will have a dinner every so often for the family to get together. My husbands brother’s kids are so freaking annoying like this."
"We’re having pizza? Scream."
"We’re baking cookies? Scream."
"Someone found you in hide and seek? Scream."
- bluegrassmommy
"I’ve been too old for that since I was 6. Shit was ALWAYS annoying."
- Zombifi3r
GiphyReal talk, apparently I'm *very* old going by the stuff on this list.
I'm gonna need to go sit with that for a bit... let me go turn on the seat warmer so my bones aren't stiff when I stand up later.
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