Sex is meant to be fun. Yes it is an imperative part of the procreation process but it most certainly meant to be a time of revelry. Whether you know one another that well or not. So why not open up the experience! There is no written rule that insists sex is to stay between only two people. Sometimes the more is the merrier.... sometimes. All of our actions come with consequences, professionally and personally. Be prepared for the pandora's box you open. Two can often be the safer number and fantasy should stay fantasy.
Redditor u/CRM2018 wanted to know who was wiling to share a few saucy secrets about their love lives and it's activities by asking.... Redditors that have had a threesome and regretted it, what was the unexpected fallout?
Happy Valentines? :(
Well, I semi-regretted it. Like it was fun, but maybe I would have liked a better 3rd.
Anyway, freshman year of college I was into this guy and he had slept with this other girl in our friend group but was also into me. Valentines day we're all single, we go at it, and we have a great time. Later I end up dating the dude and like 2 or 3 years into the relationship he cheats on me with 3some girl. ooglecat
Not Cute.
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It was me, my girlfriend, and my friend. Well, ex-girlfriend now because she started dating my friend afterwords. TreGoa64
Got an unwelcome surprise......
Didn't realize the other guy was into me
Got an unwelcome surprise. grapestreet9
This is why it's really important when you do anything kink-related, even if it's supposed to just be a "vanilla" threesome, to negotiate rules beforehand. What's okay, what is definitely NOT okay. That way nobody gets unpleasant surprises.
Even when you think it's obvious, like "no you may not penetrate my anus without asking," some people may assume that it's okay. Raudskeggr
A Movie Plot.
I (f) had a threesome with my bf at the time (now my ex) and a mutual female friend of ours.
He ended up cheating on me multiple times with her afterward, and then ended up becoming obsessed with her, almost to the point of stalking. He even stole a friend's car to go see her. It was wild. Lol. chengsao
Avenger.
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The guy was built like a Superhero, so I spent most of the "experience" trying to suck my gut in.... praying for it to be over. OldmanShed
Blood is a No.
This is my time to shine.
When I was 19 I (F) was invited by a couple to participate in a threesome. They were both super hot so I was pumped!!
So it starts and everything is going fine, we're all touching each other whatever. We get into a position where I'm sitting on her face while she lays on her back and her boyfriend has sex with her missionary. All good until the boyfriend kinda shoved me off her? I was like wtf? Then she gets up and her face is absolutely COVERED in blood. Like lion after eating a zebra blood. It's literally everywhere: the sheets, the pillows, her face, his hands, you get the point.
Turns out she sliced the inside of my vagina with her very sharp acrylic nails (they looked very nice just don't feel the best against my fragile vaginal membrane) and I was bleeding profusely.
I cleaned myself off and was like....."I'm gonna go..." and they were like bye...
It's still one of my absolute favorite stories ever. Reddit
Talons.
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I'm gonna cut straight to the dish....
My buddy's big toe nail grazed my butthole while trying to switch positions with her. I never told a man to cut his toenails before and hopefully never will again. ImpossibleWeirdo
Oooof.
I don't know if I regretted it per se, but I was the third wheel. After the sexcapade we passed out and later on that night her boyfriend went to the bathroom. She then cuddled up to me and said 'that was really fun and all but if we do this again can we get somebody I am attracted too.' Then her boyfriend walked back in and she realized that I wasn't him, I could literally feel the room fill up with awkwardness. Windbelow616
No Touching.
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I had a threesome with two guys and it was kinda awkward seeing how they were trying not to touch each other during the whole thing. It was cool and everything but they were so trying to avoid any kind of touching and I get if two guys don't want their members to touch but they wouldn't even touch legs by accident and that is hard when you're getting dp'd by two tall guys lol. suki_ta_
Hindsight.
I mean, i guess it wasn't necessarily unexpected, but it just ruined my relationship with my girlfriend at the time. We had a threesome with a female friend of hers, and she couldn't get the image of me having sex with her friend out of her head. She said that she couldn't shake the feeling that if I truly loved her, i wouldn't have been able to sleep with someone else.
Worst part of it was my gf was essentially my dream girl, and the girl we added to the mix wasn't nearly as spectacular as she was. So i traded a longterm relationship with my dream girl for one night of a threesome, and i would NEVER have made that trade with hindsight.
That said, waking up in the morning with a hot naked girl on each side of me was pretty incredible. Buffal0_Meat
OUCH!
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I had a threesome with my girlfriend and best friend. She left me for him. They have been married for over 10 years. Tacomancer42
Salty Feels....
My ex came home from the bar with his friend and asked if I would have a threesome with them. I reluctantly agreed after drinking a little. The experience was pretty good but my ex was so insecure and made my life miserable for a few weeks after that because he was salty about the fact that I actually enjoyed it. No idea what he was expecting. Viiibrations
I never talked to those morons again.
My girlfriend at the time was hanging out in her bedroom with her roommate. I was watching TV in the living room.
Her roommate comes out of the bedroom wearing a sheet. She looks at me and says, "We're having sex back here. You should join us" and drops the sheet.
She was physically attractive, but I didn't like her personality at all. I said no.
She shrugged, then went back into the bedroom. They were in there a good hour or so, when my girlfriend comes out, naked and crying. She kept apologizing for "cheating on me". I told her it was ok, I understood, everything was going to be all right.
About two weeks later she dumps me. Said she couldn't trust me BECAUSE I DIDN'T DO HER ROOMMATE.
She dumped me at my birthday party. She messed with my best friend that night in the room next to where I was sleeping, then came in afterwards to make sure I heard it and knew what was happening. She asked if I was okay, I said no, she started laughing.
We were all sleeping in a cabin in the woods and I was drunk as hell, so I walked away.
I never talked to those morons again.
I figure I got about ten miles out and passed out on the side of the road. Woke up when a couple of good ol boys tossed me in the back of their truck. They were going to drive me to the hospital, but I told them what happened and they drove me home... About two hours away. I gave them twenty bucks for gas and they turned it down. DoomOne
Cry not Pretty....
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My ex gf's friend stopped us in the middle of it to ugly cry for the rest of the night about how she wanted her ex back... needless to say it stopped pretty quick. Grt38
Back Up Kids....
I was the third for this couple, they were both really keen on me. The experience was actually pretty normal, but afterwards they kept pestering me for more. I had realized I wasn't that interested in the both of them and kept politely declining their offers. They never stopped offering, so I finally had to say I wasn't interested. I'd see one or both of them around occasionally and they'd give me a half-hearted smile. A_Sassy_Sammich
ALONE....
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I had really strong feeling for this guy, and we he been flirting for a while. It was going well, and one night I was over at his house with another female friend of ours. We got drunk, one thing led to another, and we had a threesome.
Now they are dating and I'm still alone. PinkAcrobelle
"Looks like you two are good, I will leave you to it."
I was asked by my girlfriend to have a threesome with her and her best friend... a friend I had known for a long time and who had actually introduced us.
A couple of minutes into it I realized that my girlfriend was not remotely interested and had pulled back... which made it awkward because I was not remotely interested in my friend sexually... I only agreed to it because my girlfriend asked and she had been a little distant lately... I thought it might help rekindle the relationship.
I carried on and did my best to make my friend happy... and then all of a sudden my girlfriend stood up and said "Looks like you two are good, I will leave you to it."
I stopped what I was doing and asked WTF was going on, and eventually they explained that the whole thing was a scheme for my girlfriend to break up with me and "pass me over" to her best friend who apparently had a crush on me.
Needless to say this did not go down well, and I ended up losing both of them from my life. hokeyWB
Not with my Wife...
My wife and I had a threesome with a friend of mine that had recently left the military. Everything seemed fine until he told us he was in love with my wife, his brother also happened to be my best friend (we're not as close as we were though) who is super insecure and apparently also had feelings for my wife.
Later my military friend was diagnosed with schizophrenia and his delusions were telling him I was the most evil person on the planet, and that aliens were gonna give him super powers and disintegrate me (that is not an exaggeration.) He now gets monthly shots from the VA and he's doing a lot better. lemonyfreshpine
Late to this discussion.
Late to this discussion. Not exactly a one time threesome but more of a live-in crazy toy situation. So about 6ish months of threesomes and poly relationship. The dude was super sick and took meds all the time and had tons of doctors appointments. They told me he had Lymphatic cancer. This was only part of the truth.
A friend of theirs came to visit one day and saw the situation, asked me if I knew why dude was so sick and I responded "well yea, he has cancer" and I will never forget the look on friends face when he realized he would have to be the one to tell me that dude had AIDS.
I confronted dude and he lied to me. Irate, yelling and screaming at me for even thinking about accusing him. I called his wife in tears and asked her. The first words out of her mouth were, "I'm so sorry. We never meant to hurt you."
So yea. Never again. This happened 12 years ago. I was 17 at the time. I got lucky in that I didn't contract HIV. I still get tested annually and disclose that I've been exposed to it to any potential partners, but it definitely could have ended much worse. Dead_in_the_BrainPan
Don't Outdo!
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I had an unplanned threesome with a close friend and her boyfriend. He's well endowed and apparently she couldn't handle giving him oral, but I didn't know that and while we were fooling around I gave it to him. Like, really good. Like so good he wouldn't stop talking about how good it was and asking why she doesn't give it like I do. It made her insecure and put a strain on our friendship as a result. Even after they broke up, my friendship with her wasn't the same. D0rkasaurusRex
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...
Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
The Sting
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
Walk Away...
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed Off
Piano Performing GIFGiphy"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...
Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
Smoked
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"Well, if you find yourself stuck in a rut, it'll be something to fawn over."
Hey Fam...
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!
jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
- Sregge
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"This joke is great because everyone can laugh at it."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."
Lord Farquaad Ok GIF by PeacockTVGiphyCars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paint
lightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
"Also in Cars, when Mack is driving down the highway and wants to pull over into a truck stop to rest, the sign at the truck stop says 'Top Down Truck Stop, All Convertible Waitresses.'"
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
Oh, Ratatouille.
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"
ratatouille flirting GIF by Disney PixarGiphyCoco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
- TerH2
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"Monster House."
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."
Whispering French GIFGiphyChildren's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.
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