For me, the absolute worst part of being female has always been watching the men in my life get more for much less effort.
A huge part of that came from being the eldest daughter in a Latin family and watching how my brother was fawned over as if he was a unicorn while the girls were given responsibilities on par with our parents.
But just as much of that frustration comes from just ... ya know ... *gestures vaguely at history, headlines, and life in general* stuff.
Reddit user NotPhantomforce asked:
"Girls, what’s the downside of being a female?"
Turns out frustration at a man-centric world isn't the only thing we agree sucks.
Hormones VS Body
"The way hormones f*ck with your body. First puberty. Then childbirth. And top it all off with menopause."
- 629mrsn
"Don’t forget the monthly cycle…"
- Nugat37
"Don’t get me started on the pages long list of BC side effects."
- rohlovely
"I dont have biological children and my hormones are messing with my body. Women are hormonally fu*ked either way it's just so unfair"
- Delaine1978
"It’s also the fact that women are 3 times more likely to get endocrinological diseases bc of our fu*ked up hormones"
- leathersonja
Big Breast
"Big boobs that hurt my back. Tis a blessing and a curse"
- Ash_Lynx17
"Also BOOB SWEAT"
- SlugKing003
"Having to wear a bra in public and even at home when you have people/family around. At least where I live."
- Objective_Sand_8769
"I’ve wished for decent boobs all of my life. I must have been found on the doorstep because the boobie fairy visited everyone in the family except me. 😢"
"That said, seeing the pain, bother, and expense experienced by my sister, aunts, cousins, etc, I have accepted that ladies with a decent bust really do pay for the privilege!"
"Still just the tiniest bit jealous, though! ❤️"
- Jenny_Pussolini
"Having to pay for a decent bra when you have big boobs otherwise you can't walk, sleep or work."
- theGreat-Marzipan
"The things I'd do to get average-sized boobs and be able to go braless in dresses and tank tops....oh to dream"
- ChanelNo50
enhance weird science GIF
Giphy
UTIs
"The complications that come with a vagina. BV again? Uti? Yeast infection from the uti antibiotics? BV came back cause of the yeast infection that you got treating your uti? Such a pain sometimes"
- Advisor_Brilliant
"Tight pants? Wore the same pair of underpants an hour too long? Couldn't quite wipe thoroughly enough because the public bathroom didn't have much TP? Enjoy your BV and/or UTI and/or yeast infection!"
- SevenSixOne
OBGYN
"Having to go to the gynecologist. I literally get lightheaded every time I think of it"
- vivalicious16
"The speculum looks like a torture device. It makes me wanna die just thinking about it tbh"
- RomeoLyshitski
"Recently I changed gynecologist. I was in the stirrups waiting for the pain of the speculum aaaannnd.. nothing. There was no pain. For the first time in my life. If you are having pain, it's time to talk to your OBGYN or change OBGYNs!"
- OC*CKazzie
baby i'm sorry GIF by truTV’s I’m Sorry
Giphy
IUD's
"That to affordably get an IUD in rural BC you can't have any pain relief at its insertion. You're expected to 'tough it out'"
"Edit: I've noticed that this isn't a problem that is just to Canada and to be honest I believed that European countries would offer numbing or something else. I'm horrified to hear that my story of nearly fainting on the table in silence twice is not just my story and I wish they would treat this procedure properly."
"I've read all your stories and I'm sorry for each and every horror one. As for the ones who did manage to get pain relief of some kind, I'm so glad to hear that. I'm glad your experience was not mine (ours: collective of women with stories like this) and I hope that is the future of this procedure."
- Natural_Sir6189
"Wait are painkillers for IUD insertion a thing? My nurse just told me to take ibuprofen and held my hand lol and I'm in NYC"
- lover_of_pancakes
"I’m in the US and on my 3rd IUD, I didn’t know pain relief for that was a thing anywhere"
- Affectionate-Ad3816
"Comments like these break my heart. Maybe it’s bc my GYN is fairly young, but before I had my first IUD she straight up gave me Valium. She was like 'you don’t have to take this, but you’ll probably want to'.”
- Key-Ad9759
Periods
"Having periods"
- SkyBlueGlitter
"I havent had a period in over 2 years thanks to birth control. Am I a little depressed, a little anxious, and possibly other unknown side effects from it? Maybe, but at least I'm not bleeding...so that's something"
"Edit: I am in a same-sex relationship, and I don't ever want kids, so I couldn't care less about it affecting fertility. It's perfectly fine for me to skip all my periods. I'm actually pretty happy with my bc overall. Even cleared up my acne over time!"
- bluezebra_eleven
"I, for one, revel in the total badassery that is Shark Week by imagining that I am a warrior in an ancient world like Game of Thrones and have secured the defeat of my uterus"
"Or I just sit on the couch and complain with a heating pad."
- bopshebop2
Season 2 Period GIF by AwesomenessTV
Giphy
The Pain Is Real
"Nobody believes your pain."
"I was in labor with my first son and was dilated to about a 6. I asked for the epidural because the contractions were bad and I was starting to feel faint. They said “oh I bet you can hold off a little longer. These aren’t that bad yet.” Like excuse me??? No, go get the numbing magic. If I say I’m in pain and need help with it, I mean it."
- etlifereview
"My ma gave birth to me on the hottest day of the year and was severely dehydrated. Technically she wasn’t supposed to take in any fluids while in labor but her heart rate would drop super low, which made MY heart rate drop, so they hooked her up to an IV and she went through so many of those saline bags."
"To top it off she was in labor for over 24 hrs, had gone through TWO epidurals, and I just refused to come out. Mom’s sobbing, screaming “get her out” over and over again."
"Doc comes in and take one look at my mom and goes, “I’ll come back and check in a few more hours.” Mom watches as a nurse grabs his arm and YANKS him back into the room and tells him, 'NO. She cannot do this anymore. We need to get this baby out NOW'.”
"20 mins and one vacuum extraction later, there I was! Mom always credits that nurse for saving her life."
- lilcipher
birth GIF
Giphy
"My mom went into labor on a Friday night and went to the hospital the next day. A male doctor said everything was okay, and discharged her without taking anything she was saying into consideration. She continued to be in labor on Sunday, and when she called the hospital about her pain being minutes apart another male doctor asked why she hadn’t come in."
"She told him she had the day before and then my dad had to speed her to the hospital, carefully running every red light. Here’s the kicker, because that first doctor ignored my mom’s pain she wound up having an emergency C-section Sunday night. I was born 3 months prematurely that night in 1993. I’m disabled because of that and my mom sometimes still blames herself even though she did everything right. She couldn’t even sue for malpractice because the first doctor wrote that everything was fine in her chart."
- indoor-girl
They Blame It On The Period
"Any time you express yourself, or get upset about something, even if it's something to get legitimately upset about, you almost always get a 'aRe YoU oN yOuR pErIoD?'."
- zuka88
"ugh, YES. The slightest bit of animation or expression in your voice and it’s immediately ‘omg stop taking it so personally, why are you getting so emotional over this?’. And people wonder why I monotone a lot these days."
- kellerae
"As$holes be roid raging 24/7 but somehow women are the emotional ones."
- lalayatrue
"Omg my ex husband said this to me during our last fight! Yeah it’s my period making me scream at you for being rip roaring drunk at noon on a Tuesday. Kicked him out that day, now he doesn’t have to worry about my cycle."
- Sadielady11
"Any engagement from us that isn’t saccharine is taken as anger and it’s irritating. I’ve politely asked men not to do something and even when I was speaking in a calm manner, the response was 'don’t be so upset'."
- pacificaurora
Assumption of being a caretaker
"The expectation of being a caretaker. Kids, ageing parents, it always seems to be expected of the woman to be in this role."
- Mel_Behaved
"I don’t have a maternal bone in my body. This phenomenon drives me insane."
- throwawaygrosso
"My husband is listed as the primary contact for schools and doctors offices because his job provides a lot more flexibility than mine."
"They still always call me first when they need to reach us about the kids. My daughter was going to have surgery and he was trying to handle the scheduling. He would call and leave a message with the nurse line with his phone number and they would turn around and call me and leave a message on my cell, which I couldn’t answer because I was working and unavailable. I would let him know they called. He would call again and the same thing would happen. It was absolutely maddening."
"Dads can manage the kids, too. Stop assuming moms are the only ones who know what’s going on with the kids."
- Moonlightonthelake80
"I work in a nursing home and the children who are responsible for their parent, getting things done for their parent, communicate with the staff, are always the daughters. The sons hop in every few weeks to say hi to their parent and that’s it."
- DamnHotBananas
The Down LOWS
"A couple of the downsides are..."
"• Continuously taking birth control so I don’t have to deal with a heavy menstrual flow and severe menstrual cramping every month. Even then there are times I menstruate/have severe menstrual cramping despite continuously taking birth control."
"• Wasting money buying pads when I could use that money to buy something else that can come in handy."
lone_wolf1580
Southern Drama
"Boobs in the summer in the south."
No_Aside331
"Sports bras are so much nicer now than they were even a few years ago… and so much better in the summer than conventional bras. My southern boobs feel amazing in the south now."
Marlbey
"I'm just begging for separation. At the end of the day the space between them is so itchy, so I scratch. My nails get full of dead skin coming off since it's been marinating in sweat all day. I'm confident this wouldn't work for very long but I've considered cutting up squares of old t shirts and tucking them between for separation."
Plums_InTheIcebox
I Gotta Go
"Y’all saying periods, what about the period S**TS. Correct me if I’m wrong, but even if you get no cramps the poops i get during makes me feel unworthy of love."
UpbeatBite0
"Ah yes the shaking, sweating, sometimes dry-heaving sh**s. Half a roll of toilet paper you can go back to existing for an hour before nature calls again."
Tiny_Parfait
"Yes, and then hearing from the bf 'how is it possible to use that much toilet paper in one day? You don’t want to know.'"
litttlegirlblue
Nunya
"The fact that I do not want children (3 miscarriages later) is appalling."
Hello_Mister-1202
"I’m sorry that people give you a hard time. That’s extremely frustrating, especially because it happens so often. If they ask if you want to have kids you should... 'Yeah and we’re going to name him Nunya' and if they comment on the name say 'Yeah NUNYA BUSINESS.'"
Makes me mad
"I’m not a woman but I’m married to an awesome one. I am floored by the way some people treat her. Mechanics, carpenters, financial advisors etc. they only want to talk to the man and when they have to interact with her they treat her like an idiot. Makes me mad. Especially because she is the brains and the money manager in our relationship."
Mad Season 9 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Edit: I’m glad that this post is getting a lot of attention. Clearly, a lot of women have had to deal with this type of behavior. Seems like the car industry is the most common. All I can add is that my parents raised me right and I’m passing it on to my sons. I hope and expect that these attitudes towards women will become less and less common. Until then, keep fighting the good fight, stand up for yourself and spend your money at businesses that treat you with the respect that you deserve!"
DadJokes4713
Look at me...
"People don’t take me seriously sometimes."
violet-ack
"Combine that with having a baby face. I feel like I get talked down to a lot because I look much younger than I am. I’m 22 but usually get assumed to be somewhere between 13 and 17. 18 at best if I’m at a club or college."
13-Penguins
Tools
"I am a woodworker. The amount of time I waste while men in hardware stores digest that is truly stunning. They mostly seem pretty delighted about 'a woman with tools' but skeptical to various degrees, too. And even having to listen to them tell me how great it is that I'm doing what I'm doing (MY @#{replace2}amp;!! JOB, PEOPLE!!) is exhausting. I just want to pick up my materials and go back to my shop..."
"Edit: Wow, a lot of you wonderful people commented on this! I posted it and then left to go camping in the mountains with no wifi or cell service for a few days, sorry I missed you all! Thank you for your thoughts, and I wish you all perfect clamps, eternally sharp tools, and no splinters!"
rabbitskinglue
Truth
"Walking home from work at night and being harassed or followed by men."
portgas_d_lenka
Michelle Obama GIF by Election 2016
Giphy
Patriarchy, periods, and pain ...
Yep. This sucks sometimes.
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The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
People Reveal The Most Hurtful Thing A Medical Professional's Said To Them