
Grown Children Share The Craziest Things They've Ever Seen Their Mother Do
[rebelmouse-image 18345010 is_animated_gif=Just a little. Right? But what was the turning point for you? Some people have seen the stuff their mom does at home, and some people have seen the stuff she did in public. But which terrified them more?
u/purplewhitewine asked Reddit:
What is the craziest thing you have ever seen your mother do?
Here were some of the answers.
Turn On A Dime
[rebelmouse-image 18350478 is_animated_gif=I've never heard my mother use any profanity in my entire life, not as a child, or an adult. We had a retirement party for her, and a lot of co-workers showed up. She was her usual pleasant self, and at the end of the night, she got up from the table, called her boss a "f***ing worthless piece of s***" and left the restaurant.
Was It Worth It?
[rebelmouse-image 18349253 is_animated_gif=We were driving down the road once when I was younger. My mom suddenly pulls into a random driveway and jumps out of the car and starts walking down the street the way we came. She bent down to pick something up. She comes back to the car with a coin in her hand and says 'I knew I saw a quarter on the sidewalk.'
Yea Mom!
[rebelmouse-image 18350479 is_animated_gif=One night after kayaking with my parents, we got home really late so we decided to leave the kayak strapped to the top of the Tahoe. In the middle of the night my dad creeps in my room and peaks out my window. I wake up and he hushes me. My mom comes in and goes "Come on." They head downstairs and I hear my dad pick up the phone and start talking to the police. I suddenly hear the front door slam open and my mom scream "DROP THAT F***ING KAYAK." The woman is outside pointing a butcher knife at 3 thieves (who also have knives) cutting the kayak down. I then hear my dad say to the police: "hold on a second" followed by "SANDY WHAT THE HELL!" The robbers ran off and my mom remains the baddest bad*** in the world.
Animal Cruelty
[rebelmouse-image 18350480 is_animated_gif=My mom once got out of the car at a stop light to walk up to the driver's side window of the truck in front of us so she could scream bloody murder at him until the light turned green for intentionally swerving to run over a box turtle along the side of the road.
No Communication
[rebelmouse-image 18350481 is_animated_gif=One time because I didn't tell my mom what was making me upset, she literally hulked out and ripped her shirt off.
I still didn't tell her what was wrong, but there was now an additional problem of seeing the angriest half naked woman in existence.
Mom, The Guardian
[rebelmouse-image 18350482 is_animated_gif=I was having a fire in the back yard w a friend. Early in the night I saw a shadow of someone in a yard over, told my friend. He said nah, I don't see anything. Yes. There's a man there. A couple hours later I see the same man, only this time from another neighbor's yard. Friend gets to take a look and scares the guy off. We decide to call it a night.
Our dogs (who had been inside) bark when they hear the side gate as I let me friend out. Mom wakes up, askes what's happening. I tell her about the creeper. She grabs a flashlight, hands me the phone and says "call 911 if you hear anything wrong!"
Armed with just a flashlight, her wife beater and undies she was sleeping in, she runs outside to look for the creep!
Turned out to be my ex bf stalking me. Cops were called. But I will always remember her running out there with nothing but a flashlight and a mom's courage, and thinking "she crazy."
Slipper Discipline
[rebelmouse-image 18350483 is_animated_gif=My brother was misbehaving so my mom wanted to hit him with the slipper. I was in the bathroom pooping so when I came out I was surprised no one was home. I looked out the window and saw my brother running across an empty field and my mom chasing him with the slipper in hand. Funniest sight I ever saw.
Reverse Role Model
[rebelmouse-image 18350484 is_animated_gif=She used to be the kind of person who would yell at retail and fast food employees. One time she freaked out at a blockbuster employee because she accidentally gave me the wrong game. I always checked to make sure we got the right one before we got home, so it really wasn't a big deal. Later when she was telling my dad what happened she lied and acted like she was the victim. Very uncool. I was only 10 and even I knew better than to act like that.
Not On Mothers Day
[rebelmouse-image 18345360 is_animated_gif=Mother's Day 11 years ago my very petite mother decided to take my brother and I to Ross (local clothing store in a strip mall). We are pulling in and I guess she stayed at the stop sign a half a second too long so the guy behind us lays on his horn and starts flipping her off. She responds by driving at a turtles pace to make sure he was even more irritated until we actually pulled off to park.
Instead of moving along and just being angry the man decided to follow us into the parking spot and pull up so fast to my mom's door he almost hit it when she got out and started screaming in her face. Instead of being afraid she went full psycho mode pushed him backward and kicked 4 perfectly size 6 boot size dents into the side of his car while screaming some of the craziest stuff I've ever heard.
After he fumbles his phone out to call the police we peel out and head home. I did not get to go to Ross.
Next Level Cat Lady
[rebelmouse-image 18350485 is_animated_gif=My mum puts all of the bowls of catfood in the oven in winter so they don't have to eat cold food. We have nine cats.
This Ain't The 80s
[rebelmouse-image 18350486 is_animated_gif=She pops her shirt collar every day. Every. Day.
Mistakes
[rebelmouse-image 18350487 is_animated_gif=Oh, my mother. Love her to bits but she definitely has shaped her own category of how to be a parent.
First off, she works and has worked 60-70 hours a week my entire life. She loves her job, and that's why she's there so much. Wasn't really around the house, but when she was she was drinking Coke by the can and watching Forensic Files. Stopped using a babysitter for my younger brother and I when I turned 8. Set no house rules or curfews. Said, "Rules don't make men, mistakes do." Then sips her soda and watches her show lol
Scary Cousin
[rebelmouse-image 18347347 is_animated_gif=We took a cousin of mine in while his parents (my mom's brother and his wife) divorced. He took all his s*** out on me.
My mom put us on a scale; he weighed 30 pounds more than me. She told us I could use anything up to 30 pounds to defend myself.
A baseball bat doesn't weight anywhere near 30 pounds.
Yum?
[rebelmouse-image 18350220 is_animated_gif=Probably sending back her food at Red Robin because it was served in a plastic basket. She said "I don't want to eat out of a basket like a prisoner." When they brought her her food on a plate she was incensed that it was the same food. She wanted them to make her a fresh burger because the first one was served in a basket.
Could have also been the time she (successfully, somehow) returned a jar of mayonnaise WE HAD EATEN OUT OF FOR A WEEK because she found it cheaper somewhere else.
Biscuit Drama
[rebelmouse-image 18350488 is_animated_gif=When I was around 14, she went on a blind rampage calling us (myself and 2 brothers, ages 13 and 11) lying little sh-ts, that no one would ever trust us and we'd get nowhere in life, that she hates living with us and she wishes she could pack up and leave like our father did (he left to escape her, and is still very much involved in our lives).
Why? Someone ate the last biscuit in the packet and no one would own up to it.
Monkey See Monkey Duel
[rebelmouse-image 18346043 is_animated_gif=A monkey entered my house through the back door and went straight into the kitchen. It started breaking things and throwing stuff around. My mom tried to shoo it away but it wouldnt budge. So she took a stick to save herself incase it attacks and started shouting at it. The monkey started making these sounds trying to scare her. This went on for about 10 minutes. I guess the monkey got tired and it left but ill never forgot the sight of my mom who is usually kinda calm trying to duel with the monkey.
World War Poo
[rebelmouse-image 18350489 is_animated_gif=When i was like 12 years old, my family made a trip to croatia and we wanted to cross through serbia. after like 5h of driving with the car, i really had to poop out in the middle of nowhere. but because of possible land mines still around after the war, my mum told me to stay at the car, while she makes a safe path to a place i can take a s***. it took me 5 years to realize, that she had put herself in the serious danger of getting killed by a landmine, just because i had to empty my bowels.
Corneation
[rebelmouse-image 18348175 is_animated_gif=Not evil crazy, but stupid crazy.
My mum can't drive for s***. She has:
- Driven down a flight of stairs because she thought it was the car park entrance.
- Reversed into a table that somebody was moving.
- Gotten wedged half off a retaining wall after driving forward instead of reversing.
She has also scratched her eye twice. Once on an envelope and another time at the store on those metal things you hang stuff off.
An Invitation Into My Mind
[rebelmouse-image 18350490 is_animated_gif=I made some drawings on some cards and sent them as invitations for my birthday to my family members. My granddad thought it was a fun idea, and made a drawing of his own which he sent to me, accepting the invitation and letting me know that he looked forward to it.
This shortcircuited my mother's brain for some reason. When I got home from school, she threw my little brother and myself in the car and drove us to my granddad's house where she proceeded to scream at him, seemingly forever, about how despicable he was, how he played favourites, and how he was a terrible person for not having sent a card to my little brother for his birthday a month earlier.
The fact that my brother hadn't sent out any invitations, and that he didn't care at all about me getting a reply for my effort, didn't matter to her at all. Things were never quite the same between my mother and my granddad after that day. I still don't know what kind of a mental breakdown caused it. It's one of those things we don't talk about. And I didn't send out invitations in the years which followed.
Range Rover
[rebelmouse-image 18348549 is_animated_gif=We were hiking the Grand Canyon and it was day 2 so we were hiking up and out, which is of course more challenging than walking downhill. My mom kept complaining about the heat and how tired she was, and along comes a park ranger leading a group of tourists on a burro ride to the bottom. She walks right in front of his horse (the rangers ride horses, the tourists burros/donkeys) and collapses on the ground, crying and wailing. The ranger asks if she needs medical help and she literally holds the back of her hand against her forehead like a silent film actress and sobs that she can't carry this backpack any farther, etc. The ranger says he can take her backpack and drop it off next to the ranger station at the top of the canyon and she thanks him about 12 times, crying non-stop. All this time the tourists are staring at this spectacle and that was enough for me. I was so embarrassed. I told my sister I would meet them all at the top and I took off on my own.
Short of having a shopping addiction, no one actually likes spending money on stuff.
Why would you ever willingly give it away? It's your money!
Which might be why it feels so bad when you have to spend money of something that should be free from the beginning. People/ corporations are going to chase that cheddar, though, so there's little you can do besides complain, which frankly might be the best thing the internet is for.
Reddit user, woodside37, wanted to know what we should never have to pay for again when they asked:
"What should be free?"
Let's get these out of the way first...No, let's get this first one out of the way first.
Hidden fees are the worst.
Hidden. F***ing. Fees.
"Transaction/processing fees when you order a digital product online. Such as a concert ticket, where you pay 6 euro extra while you pay online, and have to print the ticket yourself."
rickmitchel
"Or processing fees to pay bills that you need. Duke energy charges a $7 processing fee for you to pay your energy bill. Like wtf."
CrispyCrunchyPoptart
Pay To Pee
"Public bathrooms! The amount of human piles of poop around because the homeless have no where to relieve themselves!"
AuntyMarcy
"Live in a very tourist-y part of the U.K., all public toilets charge and most cafes/pubs/libraries won’t let people use their toilets. As someone who lives here year round it’s really frustrating and doesn’t seem to make sense."
JonesNewport83
Want A Better Society? Educate Them.
"College. Or at the very least, college APPLICATIONS. If you're gonna require it for most careers, atleast make it accessible for people. And I just think it's stupid that people have to pay to get rejected."
callmeventibcimavent
"Oh god I hate that so much. Same with applying to apartments it’s such a waste of money if you don’t get approved. It racks up quickly too."
Kydra96
It does feel grimy when "official documentation" that is "mandatory" has to be bought and paid for not by the people requiring it, but by the people needing it.
Forcing Us To Pay For Something We're Forced To Have
"ID cards issued by the government. Especially since you need them for almost every aspect of daily living."
waqasnaseem07
"I. Exist."
"Birth certificates"
alexchico3
"I'm not the biggest fan of free stuf but having to pay for a piece of paper that says "I exist" is ridiculous."
Spaghetti-Evan1991
It'll never not feel bad having to pay for something we expect to be free, but it feels ten times worse when it's something you need to get by in life. As in, need to live.
Let's All Agree To Take Care Of Each Other
"All base needs up to a level. I mean stuff we need to survive, eg. power, water,... and things we are required to use to be relevant in daily life internet,..."
"Seeing how now power companies are fuel companies are having THE biggest profit in years while more and more families are pushed into bigger and bigger deths just to get by."
"Same goes for internet tbh, poor kids are just not getting by in school becasue they lack the basic stuff every other kid has to get further in life. I am not saying they need the fastest possible internet with unlimited dl, but give them so they can work for school so the vicious cycle can be broken."
Amelsander
We Need It More Than Anyone
"All mental health services. If you don’t have benefits or a VERY good paying job, they are unaffordable for how often most people really need them. At $120-160/ session even once a week is not affordable for most people these days"
pennylayne77
A Fine Line Between Need And Want
"Water"
selfishnerd77
"Drinking water, sure. But water is an expendable resource and it should honestly be more restricted when we think about cases like people watering their lawns."
I_Am_Become_Dream
Paying To Live
"Insulin. People are dying because of greedy pharmaceutical companies."
Astronimus123
"But We're 'Pro-Life'" - Jerks
"Birth control of all kinds."
"For anyone who b*tches about spending taxpayer money, I'd ask whether it costs more to provide condoms or to house prisoners."
AlexReynard
"Giving birth (In the us)"
z0k0n
"As a female US citizen the more I learn about the whole giving birth sh*t the less I want kids. My friend just had a baby, there were some complications. She is now paying off a 14k hospital bill! The lowest I have hears is 8k. 8k just to have a f-cking kid! For a country that is gung-ho about forcing women to have kids they have missed the mark completely."
Main-Yogurtcloset-82
Everyone is looking for their payout, and unfortunately sometimes we're the ones who have to give it to them, whether it makes sense or not.
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The worst part of having breasts is Florida.
I didn't even say large breasts. Just breasts, any breasts. Florida and breasts are mortal enemies sworn to battle one another into oblivion until the end of days.
In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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There are humane ways to tell someone to go home after a... liaison.
How can one be so rude after being so intimate?
I'm not saying you have to snuggle and profess love, but damn, a quick... "thanks, I hope life is kind to you" goes a long way.
Redditor sumyungdood wanted to hear the tea about the times they had to tell a lover to take a hike. They asked:
"What is the worst way someones asked you to leave after sex?"
Tell me your worst. Mine our stories where I had find my clothes in the dark and sneak out naked.
Don't ask...
A Late Run
"Asked if he could drive my car to the gas station to buy cigarettes and when he came back he told me he left my keys in the car and it was running."
TopOcelot13
Beefed
"An old friend invited me over for her famous beef stew. I got there, we fool around, had sex, then right after she handed me a tupperware of the stew and said 'you got sex and stew, now please leave.' Still not sure if that's the worst way I was kicked out or the best."
TheRockMan31
"Most of the people here didn’t get stew. You did okay!"
livesarah
'is it that obvious'
"Went home with a girl from the bar. After we had sex, she said something like 'soooo... think you can get an Uber now? If not, I GUESS you can sleep on the couch for a few hours.' Here I was, sitting on some random girl's couch trying to find an Uber at 4 AM. Mercifully I did find one and when the guy picked me up he said 'so, your hookup kick you out?' I said 'is it that obvious' and he replied 'you weren't the first one I drove back to their car tonight and you probably won't be the last.'"
apocalypticradish
Yummy
"Go grab some Taco Bell. You can eat it on your way home. Honestly it was better than the sex. And I don't even like Taco Bell that much."
Nobody_Wins_13
I hate Taco Bell. And since reading this... I hate people.
Mrs. Robinson?
"She lit a cigarette, then looked at me for like 20 seconds, and said 'Well, bye.' I just got dressed and left. Never saw her again."
Rhalellan
And you are?
"While dozing off, he gently tapped my shoulder, and said: 'Maribel, you can’t stay here.'"
"My name is not Maribel."
tikkichik21
"See this is what happens when you don’t let people talk about Bruno."
Brendanlendan
Go
"He got off me and started looking at pictures of other women on Instagram, and commenting on how much more attractive they were than me and told me 'oh yeah you can go now.' We were best friends for like two years up until that moment."
Caramel_Cappucino
"I’m open minded but this is exactly why I often don’t trust male friendships. You could even be a lesbian and one moment of vulnerability they may take advantage of that. I know it’s unrelated but your experience made me upset and I’m sorry you had to go through that."
L8NiGHTFLiGHT
second time...
"He rolled over, grabbed his phone, and without even looking at me said 'find your clothes, you know where the door is' and just laid there on his phone ignoring me while I gathered my clothes and left. He tried texting me a few days later because he was drunk and horny so I told him 'you know where your hand is' and blocked him."
olivinemultichrome
Gross
"We were good friends for a few years before hooking up after a night of drinking."
"Halfway through sex he told me he can't actually do this because he wanted to get back with his ex and can't mess it up because she's the hottest girl he'll ever be with. He lived in the middle of nowhere and I couldn't leave until the morning so he made me sleep on the couch."
barontayto
Wow. Some people are truly disgusting. How do you treat other humans this way?
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Most couples are inseparable and enjoy doing everything together, thanks in part to shared mutual interests.
But on occasion, some people in relationships go off in pursuit of one-sided pleasures in secret for various reasons.
These can range from going out to a vegan restaurant when the other person is a carnivore to seeing a Netflix show that is too violent for a squeamish significant other.
Because not every significant other may not share the same passion, Redditors TheTinRam asked:
"What’s a guilty pleasure you hide from your significant other?"

These Redditors needed some "me time."
Dad Time
"Everytime I go on a late night grocery run (once or twice a month) because I work nights, and my wife forgot to grab whatever, I add a $0.70 Mexican soda to the cart. It is just for me. It is something my dad used to get me on especially long days when I was a kid 'helping' him on jobsites. It is my tiny reminder of him."
– thecountnotthesaint
Story For No One
"I write stories for years now, some of the times she thinks I'm working on the computer but I'm actually writing a story. There is nothing to hide but I just keep it to myself, none of my family members know I write stories. Till today I have written 56 stories (most of them are short)."
– SuvenPan
In The Wee Small Hours Of The Morning
"Staying up late for peace and quiet."
– Blue_OG_46
Chatting For One
"I talk to myself all the time, I was actually wondering last night if it was a really weird thing to do lol"
– hottytoddy_sko
Naked And Sacred
"I will cruise the house butt naked and just do whatever the hell I want. About once a month. I won’t be able to this summer because the kids will be back in school, but come August, I’ll be naked and free again!"
– batchofbetterbutter
Some people need to get out of the house.
Self Therapy
"Sometimes I take the long way home and talk to myself in the car about my 'problems' - like Self Therapy. I put one earbud in so ppl think I could be on the phone."
"I get quite animated. It helps to get a stressful day out of my system before I get home and switch gears."
– Humble-Plankton2217
Solo Slice
"My husband has gluten sensitivity. If he eats regular pizza, his stomach hurts for a couple of days after."
"Well, I don't, so sometimes I say I'm going for a run, and I do run.... to the pizza store, eat a slice, and run back."
– sohumsahm
Catching Up With The Boys
"Covid has messed it up for a bit now. But every 3 or so months the boys and I all get up like we are going to work at our respective jobs but instead all call in sick and meet for breakfast, then go back to our one buddies place for the day to hangout. Around 4 or 5 one by one we all head home for our normal arrival time."
"It's literally the only way for us all to get together reliably. Most of us have known each other for the better part of 30 years now, going way back to junior kindergarten for some."
"Twice I have let her know my plan for the day and twice I have gotten phone calls to come home early for what ever not some emergency. So now we do it secretly."
– foh242
Some of the things people do behind their SO's backs is for endearing reasons.
Smooch Ploy
"I don’t know if this is a guilty pleasure necessarily but I pretend to be asleep when he comes home from work because he always kisses me on the forehead."
– str8outofabook
Catching Zzzs
"I love when she snores."
"She complains (only lightly) about my snoring all the time, and I always feel awful that I make it tricky for her to get a good night's sleep. When she's snoring, I know she's actually going to rest well, and it makes me happy."
– ricdesi
Scent Of A Man
"Smelling his clothes. Not creepily, like his boxers. But when he lets me borrow a shirt or a sweater I’ll put it on and just revel in the smell of him on his clothes. If I recall correctly, it definitely wasn’t like this when we first started dating. It’s been over two years now and I only remember doing this around the 7 month mark. He smells really, really good."
– he-whoeatsbugs
The Forever Admirer
"I have a whole album of 'unflattering' pictures of her. Not really something I hide, but they make me happy. She’s so silly yet so beautiful."
– Dewahll
They say that a couple that plays together, stays together.
That's all well and good. However, a significant other having some alone time should never be stigmatized.
My husband and I usually watch every TV show together, but I watch Netflix's Ozark by myself because I enjoy intense dramas, immensely.
It's not a secret. And he's glad I watch the shows that I want to watch on my own time–just like I encourage him to watch all those UFO documentaries that he's obsessed with, by himself.
No really, watch them without me.
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