Redditor ameen__shaikh was hoping the kids of sex workers would be willing to share their discoveries, so they asked:
"Children of sex workers, how did you find out your mom/dad was a sex worker?"
Truth First
Hey Girl Rose GIFGiphy"My dad straight up told me he was a gigolo in Denver in the 80s, 30 years later. He had moved out there to get away from an abusive home life when he turned 18 and found that that was the best way to make ends meet."
Stillawakeat330am
Do What You Have To Do
"My mom wasn’t in sex work anymore when I was born, but she raised my older brother on the money she got as a stripper. She worked customer service jobs my entire life. When I was around 7 or 8, I went to go do something on the family computer and I saw a Facebook message she sent to her friend referencing her days as a 'dancer.'"
"I was super excited upon reading this and confronted my mom, thinking she was a ballerina or something. She explained to me (in the most age-appropriate terms she could) that she was a stripper. Of course, she didn’t go into all the details until I was older."
infectedorchid
Shut up Auntie!
"My aunt drunkenly told me that my mom was a stripper one night and not a FedEx driver as she had told me. She traveled a lot (apparently she was a hot commodity) and would tell me that she was staying with her friend when she had to work because she lived closer to work. As a child, I had no reason to not believe my mom. I liked having her home a lot when I was young."
"I was 14 when my aunt told me and my mom had just quit and got a job as a secretary at that point. I wasn't upset by it. I was actually kind of proud that she was a traveling stripper and she brought in a lot of customers. My mom was LIVID my aunt told me though."
Sedaisedaiayay
Nice Men
"I remember living in a den, I was young maybe 6-7, I asked mom why her job was to dress up at night, and she told me she went on dates with nice men. I put two and two together probably around puberty. I didn’t put four and four together and stopped to think about how it affected me till my 30s."
EDMElevatorguy
Straight Up
"The woman admitted to it on my adoption papers."
Minute_Storm_5199
Good to always lead with the truth.
They'll find out anyway.
That's A lot
Confused Over It GIFGiphy"My mom told me so that I can be the person to report it if she ever went missing after a job. When I was 10, she would leave me names, emails, phone numbers, etc. anything she had to help identify a client."
DizzyConversation429
Work Bag
"My mom was a stripper trying to raise four kids. She would work nights, and I would see strange outfits and shoes in her closet and her 'work bag,' everything smelt strongly of cigarettes. I watched the movie Independence Day where Will Smith's wife was an exotic dancer… and I somehow figured out what that was."
"One morning she and I were sitting at the kitchen table together eating breakfast, I was in 4th grade, and I asked her what her job was. She looked at me funny and I continued by asking her if she was a stripper. She asked me why I thought that and I explained everything I listed above. She then confirmed my suspicions and thought my dad (her ex-husband) spilled the beans to me."
"I assured her that was not the case and she asked me never to tell my three brothers. I never did. She eventually got out of this line of work and is now very successful. I’m proud of her and although I used to resent her for some of her choices, I understand now she did what she could to do to take care of her kids."
Jiwalk88
Don’t blame Her
"My mom just told me and my other two sisters straight up. We were 11, 12, and 17. We were just okay with it I guess? Not like we had much of a choice on what our mom would be. She went on and did that for 15 more years...."
BackgroundImpress127
When I was 11
"Interestingly enough my grandma on my dad's side (my mom was the sex worker) was supposed to be punishing me for smoking weed or something I don’t really remember but to get in my head she found my mom's online profile advertising herself and showed it to me when I was about 11 years old. I moved in with my mom later on and she’s been in that line of work my entire life."
MeteorVesta
People have their preferences.
Let it be. We applaud these parents for broaching such difficult topics with their kids.
Redditor Throwaway4561947373 wanted to discuss everyone's thoughts on dating options, so they asked:
"Would you ever date a pornstar? Why or why not?"
I did briefly date a porn star.
It was fun. But I'm way too jealous.
Schedule
Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy"I dated a stripper. Her schedule was the real deal breaker. Well, that and her cocaine addiction, but that's beside the point."
C-C-C-Coolah
"The schedule thing was kind of nice at first because I value my alone time, but after a while the showing up at my house at 530am before I went to work was starting to make me feel really gross."
C-C-C-Coolah
No Mas
"I dated a stripper once. Craziest couple of months of my life. I still have no idea how old she is or what her actual life story is/was. The sex was shockingly tame, but she did have awesome ti*s. Not a chapter in my life I’d like to revisit tho haha."
Climate_Face
"I had a roommate who was dating a stripper and eventually dating her 'show partner' at the same time. It was a very wild 5 months where he got almost no sleep (schedule thing, not sex thing) and eventually said 'no mas.' Turned out there was too much of a good thing."
ksuwildkat
Wild
"I don’t think I personally could. Little too wild of a lifestyle/profession for me."
JessiePeteWhite
"Also, just imagining dealing with the fans that come from dating a regular celebrity makes me feel uneasy. The kind of people who'd seek out a pornstar in public would be a whole other level of cringe."
Poignant_Porpoise
"I wonder how you envisage their lifestyle. Plenty of them live normal lives and just go to work like anyone else. And especially with how many are independent these days the work is a lot more in their control and safer."
Athaelan
Patreon
"I dated a girl who sold nudes on Patreon back in the day. When we first started dating I knew she had nudes up on deviant art, bit didn't know about the Patreon. She never liked going out during the day except if we went to the movies. One day I got the tines for the different theaters mixed up."
"Got there, the next shoeing was in an hour, so we said f**k it and went to the cafeteria (the theater was attached to a mall) and ate some food. Some random chubby dude comes out excited and out of breath calling her by her handle saying he buys a bunch of her pictures and he couldn't believe he was meeting her."
"We were both frozen. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to scare the guy off or let her try to make another sale while she thought I was gonna be pi**ed that she didn't tell me about her Patreon. We laughed about it later."
AshyBoneVR4
About the $$$
Pay Me Kim Kardashian GIF by GQGiphy"Thought about dating a stripper but even outside the club when we just hang out as friends she’s very monetary about everything. If I have to pay a service fee to hang out with you then I’d rather just not."
Keyguin
Always follow the money.
That's where the truth is.
Work
Sexy Jessica Alba GIFGiphy"No, because I'd feel like I was asking them to work whenever I wanted to have sex. I never said it was a rational thought, people."
Froticlias
Do what you Gotta!
"I dated a porn star for a bit. he was straight but did mostly gay shoots because it's higher paid. when he would tell me he had a good day at work it usually would mean that everyone was being cooperative or something funny happened."
night-gloss
"I have a friend that’s a porn star, and she said sex on set is very different from sex with someone you love/care about."
Gogh619
"That makes sense, but I could still imagine feeling like you’ve been touched and simulated so much that doing it more seems overwhelming, even if emotionally you would want to do it. And if you’re a guy you might not have much left in the tank so to speak."
Leet_Noob
For Love
"It's easy to say I wouldn't judge but in all honesty pretty sure many people wouldn't be comfortable, some would be I guess but most wouldn't. I think it all falls down to when you are dating them if you are truly in love enough to allow this or well maybe you like they do that anyway, it's really hard to say in real life."
DemonCyborg27
Lack of Potential
"Definitely not. Whenever I've dated someone, I've been at least open to the possibility of it potentially turning into marriage and a family; I would not want my kids to have to deal with that. Can you imagine going through your teens, with people sending you clips of your mum doing whatever to and with whoever? Your teenage years can be a tough enough experience by their own merit; let alone adding in that crap."
J-in-the-UK
A Current Affair
"A former pornstar and I wouldn't have an issue, we all have a past after all. An active pornstar though would be a serious no from me. I know I wouldn't be able to handle my partner being intimate with another person while they are with me, it being their job wouldn't matter."
votemarvel
Well to each their own.
Just be nice about people's choices.
One of the very few times I've been to a strip bar, the buffet was not a good choice.
"You interested?”
"I was at a place in a poorer Rust Belt town. Girl comes up to us, pulls a baggie with a white powder out of it, throws it onto the table and says 'I have to sell this for my boyfriend tonight. You interested?' We said no and she grabbed said bag and continued on her mission."
Affectionate-Pea8706
Too Much Seen
"I saw my first dead body at a club in East Dallas. Story was, a girl that worked there set a guy up to get robbed. He found out, hit her in the head with a beer bucket and a fight ensued among several patrons. I assume most of them didn't know the reason she was hit and just fought the guy. One of those people was a regular."
"As the almost robbed guy left the club, the regular threw a beer bottle at his head. Almost robbed guy steps out of his car, walks up, pulls out a gun and dropped him at point-blank range right in front of the club's entrance/exit. He returned to his car and wasn't found by police for several months."
Kjoco9
Bad Land...
"Saw a guy get his penis broken. At this one club they'd bring guys up on stage, strap them to a chair next to the pole and the girls would take turns sliding down it really hard and fast and landing on his crotch. Basically a way of hazing a guy for his birthday, bachelor party or similar occasion. Somehow the girls did it so that it probably looked worse than it was. Except one time... Not sure what went wrong, but when the third girl slid down, he yelled out in pain. 15 minutes later he left in an ambulance."
Content-From-Reddit
Good Monday
Old Man Smile GIF by F*CK, THAT'S DELICIOUSGiphy"Old dude on an oxygen tank, smoking. He turned toward the crowd and with the two teeth he had left, he spat out, 'Ya-kin see ‘er t**s.' Solid Monday night."
Legal-Banana-8277
Goodness. What in the world. Can't people just watch the show?
Simplicity
Meryl Streep GIFGiphy"Ankle monitoring bracelet on... and heels… and that’s it."
Bangorilla
Bad Tricks
"Saw a girl climbing up the pole and she was strong. She could climb that thing fast. Until she hit the bolts holding to the ceiling with her head. She came down even faster and her head was bleeding bad. Ambulance was called and she took a ride."
wtfjusthappened315
"I once saw that done right. She climbed up the pole and when she got to the top she disappeared into the rafters like a raccoon. A moment later she reappeared upside down, legs around the pole, then did a dead drop and stopped herself inches from the bottom using nothing but her thighs."
PM_Me_HairyArmpits
The Hit
"I went to the local ratty strip club with some buddies. I didn't really want to be there but it was somewhere to party after the bars closed. I got to talking to a woman in her 40's in a nurses outfit. She told me she was wearing it because her daughter is going to nursing school and she's working there to pay for it."
"She then tells me she's paying for it to get closer to her daughter since she just got out of prison for putting a hit out on her husband. The guy the hit man went after attacked the wrong person and got arrested. Snitched on her. I was too sober to be dealing with all that haha."
wythehippy
In Canada
"My 19th birthday (legal in Canada) went to the strip club for the first time. This one dancer was so sick. She coughed and blew her nose through the whole set. She looked miserable. She was obviously off her game. She was getting no reaction from the crowd. My buddies and I tipped her really well since we felt so bad for her."
Metaldwarf
Oh Candice
"A stripper pulling her panties to the side and rubbing her butt up and down my face. When I told another dancer, she said 'Oh yeah. That’s Candice, she does that.'"
No_Conversation8959
Fixer Upper
"A Club in Niagara Falls Canada has the seamstress who fixes the g-strings and outfits set up in the ladies bathroom. This poor old woman works all night in a stinky bathroom, so wrong."
"Group of us dad bros got dragged to a club by the one last guy getting married. We had some drinks and a buddy ripped the brand new button down off a friend. Before we can say anything the strippers at the table were down collecting the buttons. All they said was, 'we’ve got a girl. $40 and 20 minutes later his shirt came back good as new.'"
txvacil
Happy...
"A stripper crying and being consoled by other strippers because no one was asking her for lap dances... it was all a bit too real. It was my 18th birthday and first ever strip club experience.. it put me off them for good."
Puzzled_Use7034
The Guy
Elmo Hello GIF by Sesame StreetGiphy"I went and with a friend one time for just a normal evening. Halfway through the evening his expression went from 'being a guy in a strip club,' to like he just seen something horrible. To find out his mom was actually up on the stage. He never knew what she did at night because he lived with his dad."
deano1344
I'll never forget it...
"I worked for a beverage company in my early 20's, we delivered pop and bar mix to night clubs/ peelers and restaurants. Met a lot of dancers. A lot of them were smart college girls that made great money when they weren't in class or doing homework. There was the opposite side of that coin and some were doing it to support their habits. One of the poorer establishments in the far reaches of the area catered to a lower crowd."
"There was a problem with one of the juice guns so I was working behind the bar for a bit. The place had a very small corner stage and a woman wearing clothes that didn't fit got up on the stage. She was clearly wasted , had a black eye and was covered in bruises. The pole was her support while she was standing (dancing) and she tried to swing around on it with one hand . Her grip slipped and she fell off the stage and face planted on the floor."
"The staff, the patrons. Everyone saw it and no one did anything for what seemed like forever. The bar was on the opposite side of the room and I had to tell a waitress to do something. They picked her up and took her into the back. It was completely bizarre. I'll never forget it."
shaundisbuddyguy
WTF?
"It's a toss-up between the pregnant (7-8 months) stripper smoking and drinking alcohol, or the stripper giving lap dances to her aunt, then her uncle, then her 17 yo cousin while only wearing a g-string."
gheiminfantry
Bye Now
"In Vegas. I see a guy walk in. Purchased 2 drinks. Slams them. Walks down to the stage. Pulls out a wrinkled 1 dollar bill from his pocket. Wraps it around his pointer finger and proceeds to cram it up the stripper on stages a**. Turns around and walks out. Never to be seen again."
ImLostAndILikeIt
Hidden
"Stripper had previously had a breast implant rupture and had to have it removed. I guess she couldn't afford a new one so when she danced she always had her hair draped over that side to try to hide the deflated beast. Queens strip club near Vancouver, it's gone now I think."
ticklemebits
YOU?!
"I was out with my buddy in college and he saw his younger sister’s best friend on stage (he had no idea she was a stripper and had grown up with her), took his jacket and tried to cover her up. The bouncers swarmed in and almost beat his a**. Was more comical than anything and he tried to give her a lecture as she was collecting tips and killed the vibe."
imjustaguy812
This is why we should stay at home. Safe.
Magic Consideration
"Was male stripper for a bit. My opinion: it's all types for all reasons. Passing judgement on folks generally just makes you less approachable. There are good folks who like gyrating naked people but are awkward socially and have lots of money. Creepy is still creepy. Considerate is still considerate. Only difference is I'm not wearing pants."
– Crispyandwet
Parallels To Customer Service
"Ex stripper. The guys that came in and knew the deal were great. Tip the girl on stage, get a lap dance, be polite. The worst were the guys that thought they were smarter than the strippers or that they could somehow game us. Like, one guy I remember went on a whole rant about how smart he was because he could tell it was all fake and the girls weren't really attracted to the men. Uh, yeah dude, you're a genius. Or when they think they're funny by degrading the women. It's not funny and you're the one that looks bad. Honestly, for the most part I didn't think about the guys much at all. I was on autopilot most of the time and didn't judge them any more than thinking who looks interested in a private dance or who was a jerk I wanted to avoid."
– kidloca
Rowdy
"You get your share of creeps but mostly where I worked (a long time ago) a lot of young groups of guys just looking for a good time. Every once in a while you have someone who has too good of a time and gets rowdy and acts like an idiot. Granted I only worked 2-3 nights a week, people who dance full time (especially during the day) have a whole different kind of crowd to deal with. But customers are generally all the same, just looking for something to distract them from life for a while. Feels like a lifetime ago that I danced, my husband and I go together now every once in a while to get a private dance for a while and it's way more fun being on the other side."
– pickmeacoolname
Cinnamon Told You Nothing
"Generally depends on what kind of customer that person is really. The best kind is the dude who understands that it is all a game. They tip well, they are sociable and polite, may even be regulars with certain girls and are never a problem. The entire club staff loves guys like this."
"The ones that the dancers hate? The "I don't pay for dances" guy who thinks that line will somehow make him desirable for dancers? His trademark line goes something like "You are too beautiful/smart/amazing to be doing this, if you get with me you can leave this behind".
"The pimps that go around asking the girls if they "Want to make some real money" are real POSes as well. Then there was the ones that I really had a personal dislike for, the dudes who would try and wait in the parking lot at the end of the night because "Cinnamon and I really had a connection you know? She told me to wait for her!" No she didn't buddy, IF Cinnamon told you that, she did so knowing that I would be kicking everybody out of the parking lot before the dancers left for the evening."
"The strip club industry is a weird place."
"Source: Longtime strip club bouncer."
– BigBodyBuzz07
A New Way To Talk
"Ex-stripper here: Of course I encountered all different types, but I am here to mention one type in particular (my favorite). There were a lot of customers who were lonely, or didn't have anyone to talk to who would really listen to them. They figured out that they could come in and pay for company. I would sit at the table with one of my regulars for a few hours and just talk. I made a point of showing that I valued them as a person and was genuinely interested in their conversation. He knew that he was taking up my time, and every so often would hand me another bill. I didn't pity them, I respected them for figuring out a way to engage with other humans and satisfy their need for connection."
– everyonesmomiguess
Chosen Family
"Depends on the person."
"I've had stalkers follow me home. Creeps who tried to get violent with me at work. People who pissed me off."
"I've also met some really wonderful people I'm fine with calling my friends. I just had a baby and invited two ex customers to my baby shower in June."
– aequitasthewolf
Bobs Everywhere
"I used to have a girlfriend who was a stripper, and sometimes I'd visit her at work and hang out with her and her co-worker buddies when it was slow. One time when we were doing this, another stripper sat down with us and said, "Cool, I just got 10 straight lap dances with Bob." I asked, "Which one is Bob?" No one said anything, then one of the girls giggled. My girlfriend said, "Um, Jeremy, they're ALL 'Bob' "
– jeremyharrison415
Logique
"I dated a stripper for a while (no we didn't meet at the club). We were 18. She liked some of her regulars, but she would often get married guys in there and she absolutely hated them (not that she wouldn't take their money) because she wanted to just have fun and not worry about ruining people's marriages. She also disliked the people that were old enough to be her dad because there were a lot of old creepy people who would proceed to show her pictures of their kids who were around her same age."
"In general though as long as people tipped well and didn't make things awkward she seemed to really enjoy most of her clients."
"Also never ask your stripper out, she probably doesn't like you. And also don't propose to them because that makes it super awkward. They're just people, no one proposes to cute girls out of the blue, there's no way to handle that situation that ends well."
– Desblade101
A Fantasy
"As a male, I asked a stripper this same question. She said "it's just a job. It's their fantasy and they pay for it. Some of these guys are lonely. Some have wives/girlfriends at home who don't give them the attention we give them in a 5 minute lap dance in 5 months. Then you have all the others in-between"
– Joe_Da_God
Innocence
"Most of the people there are just coming for a good time. You get your occasional creeps who you're giving a lap dance to and they flat-out try to shove their hands down your front but it's all fine and dandy, there's always a bodyguard just around the corner. The one thing I love about working at my local strip club is the younger ones who are always so shy and timid. I was giving a lap dance to one boy with the cutest little face and he didn't know he was allowed to touch us, so when I took his hands and set them on my behind he started freaking out a little bit by stuttering and saying stuff like "is this allowed?" and "I don't know about this".
– APopeWithACiggar
Simply Them
"I see them as humans and general people. Customers who provide a source of income. Some good, some bad, some decent, some pervy."
– sallyharpersmith
Hygiene Is Important
"Current dancer here 😊 I like most of them as long as they’re respectful and tip well. My favourite customer at the moment likes to come in with rubber gloves on and sanitise everything before he sits down- he books me for an hour and doesn’t want any dancing or to touch me in anyway and says he’s a germophobe who is here for ‘a hygienic chat’ lol"
– tittysandwhich3
The Categories
"Former stripper, I used to do a lot of private work as well as working in clubs. The clientele is pretty much the same at private functions and they’re generally just there for the party, and it varies so much in the club environment. There are so many types of customer, but I’ve put them in 3 general groups."
"The regular weekend crowed and usual private function attendee is pretty boring and predictable. You’re having the same conversation 100 times a night and you get the same proposition from most of them. Most of the time they’re groups of men, but sometimes they’re hens nights and they’re probably worse than men. While these groups were okay for quick money, I didn’t think much of them and my train of thought was usually figuring out how to navigate around them in 8 inch heels and making sure I kept myself safe. Sometimes you get lucky and have a good basket of eggs who can make it a really good night (gay men/women, legitimate decent groups who aren’t wasted by 8pm, country boys), but most of them are too trashed to see past the ends of their noses."
"You also get the people who are there for more than t*ts and a**. With these customers, it all came down to wanting to find a place where you could come in and not be judged. These people have usually been regulars for years and were the kinds of people where it’s safer to drop your guard because they understood what being in a strip club meant. They were my favourites because I didn’t have to be that sexy goddess fantasy, I just had to be someone who listened or give them some physical closeness that they craved and that was generally enough for them. They were great tippers and would always buy you a drink, bring you gifts or food, and be up for a game of pool. Unfortunately these clients are rare so you snap them up while you can."
"Then there are those who don’t fit in either category: Captain Save-A-Ho, the “cool” girlfriend, straight women, the cheap toucher, etc.. These people didn’t regularly come into the club and you don’t really know what you’re going to get until you talk to them. They can be really good and make your night fantastic, or absolutely awful and be the reason you second guess your career choices."
"Unfortunately most clients from the clubs sucked so I just ended up sticking to my regulars and made new regulars chase me for a while before I let them in."
– meliza-xx
Once You Become A Dancer
"As a dancer for many years, I've seen it all haha. I had been a cocktail waitress many years before I started to dance so I knew the basic idea of how things ran in the clubs... I only decided to dance bc at the time I found myself in overwhelming financial issues bc of a legal case where I had to hire a lawyer etc. And dancing was really the only way I could get it quickly."
Even though I had been in the club years before, I still was this naive little lamb at first who def learned the hard way about that industry."
"But I can say now that it does take a desensitized person to do it. And I'd say most dancers someway or another have had some dark experiences in their past when it comes to men, sex, upbringing, abuse, etc... Which makes it easier to take emotions out of the job and lust after the money, the attention, the partying, and the power it can give you."
"In my opinion there are basically 3-4 categories of people who come in."
1. "The young, arrogant, and stingy frat/bachelor party types. They are usually rowdy, obnoxious, and sexually explicit to the girls. They overstep boundaries, get completely shit faced, and have no shame in trying to get girls to after party SMH."
2. "Another type are the lonely, socially awkward, sexually inexperienced guys. These guys are easily seduced by the flattering and physical contact of ogles of pretty girls. This usually puts a big fat target on their backs to be taken to the cleaners by the hustler manipulative dancers. And before they can blink, they're in the private booths and coughing up cash they probably don't have to waste lol. These are the ones seek out underground massage parlors and are members of escort sites I've come to conclude lol."
3. "Then there are the bar fly regulars. They know all the managers, they hug all the dancers, will probably buy dancers a shot or drink, but rarely get dances or tip more than a dollar or two to girls on stage. Most dancers figure that out quickly and just put up with them."
4. "Another type which many dancers avoid, which idk why, are the couple's. To me, couples were alwaysssss a positive and profitable time. I think a lot of dancers assume women who come with their SO are only there to babysit their men and make sure they're "behaving"... Which is far from the truth. First off idk why but couples LOVED me and always sought me out. And I learned that the saying "happy wife happy life" is the golden ticket with them. And as long as I made the female feel important and sexy and my main priority... The guy was more than happy to spend the big bucks haha. It was always a good time and more often than not they would always come back just to see me."
5. "And lastly, there is always the men who you could count on. Usually older with stable jobs, and lives outside of the club. Usually married and wealthy, who mostly came during the week and after their 9-5s, never staying too late as to make it back to their real lives. These men always paid for your time appropriately and sometimes just wanted to sit and talk without dances. It's always nice to have some of them stored away for a rainy day haha.
Besides that I'll say that dancing can ruin you if you become vulnerable to the dark side of it. Substance abuse, vanity, and the lust for money are demons that surround strip clubs. I guess it all depends on the demographic of each club. I was fortunate to have danced at one that was considered upscale so I know the types of people who are in other clubs are worse and better in ways... Anyways that's my two cents... Haha"
– sweaver_fever
Someone To Talk To
"Ex stripper here. There were plenty of different types of guys that came in. My favorite were the respectful ones that just needed someone to talk to. Of course I’ve encountered plenty of assholes working at the club, but the whole last year I danced I really only talked to my regulars who at that point were more like my sugar daddies but with no strings attached. I genuinely enjoyed talking to them and hearing about their lives."
– LilithInTaurus
What an eyeopening read. Do you have similar stories? Please share them below!
