There's no official manual on how to raise kids since every household has different protocols that have been passed down between generations.
And while general rules like "no running around the house" or "finish your plate or you get no dessert" may sound familiar, there are those that are so specific, they almost make no sense.
Curious to hear from strangers who had to abide by the weirdest orders at home, Redditor AMGBOI69420 asked:
"What are the strangest 'house rules' you had growing up?"
Careful the things you say.
IYKYK
"You weren't allowed to say 'I know.' Because 'f you knew you, you'd be doing it.' Normally said while I was doing that thing."
– theDeuce
Prohibited Non-Expletives
"Shut up, fart and hate were bad words."
– Tuesdayallweek
Preferred Semantics
"Saying 'shut up' was taboo in our home. My parents called farting 'tooting' which I suppose was one of my mom's gentlewoman idioms. She also called pooping a 'B.M.' for bowel movement -- and don't think I didn't get bullied for saying that in front of my classmates!"
"I think we could use the word hate (like 'I hate that color') but we could never say 'I hate you' to anyone."
– monkeyhind
Rules are rules and there was no room for negotiating.
Why I Hate Trays
"No food could be eaten on just a plate. The plate had to be on a tray (cause what if crumbs fall). Which seems so weird in a house that is way dirtier than mine is now."
"Needless to say, i hate trays, don't own any, and never will. My stupid rule will be 'no trays allowed'. It is what it is."
– clem_11
Respect For The Pet
"I wasn’t allowed to watch mice centric movies (The Rescuers, American Tail) because my mom said 'our cat finds them offensive.'”
– OrangeTree81
Preserve The Padding
"We had to flip up the chair cushions at the dining room table unless company was over. Gotta save that padding for a more valuable butt's occasion."
– hbkzd987
Hands Off
"No touching the walls, boy did we get a butt wooping just for touching the damn walls."
– Bubz-411
No Teen Drama
"I wasn’t allowed to watch Beverly Hills 90210 or Party of Five. Also was not allowed to eat Lucky Charms for breakfast (only dessert), but for some reason Reese’s Puffs were ok?"
– FineStein
These are head-scratchers.
Questionable Incentive
"Winner cleans up."
"Everyone always looks at me sideways when I say it after a game but that's the way we did it."
– aug2295
Ice Anxiety
"My dad was super weird about ice cubes. If you took one out of the tray instead of the big bin, he'd be mad about the missing cube. You had to empty the tray into the bin and then refill it. When I moved away for college, first day home I decided to see if he still checked and I took a cube out of the top tray waaaay in the back. He asked me about it less than an hour later!"
"They have a countertop ice machine now, so no more ice anxiety for my dad."
– Novah11
Snack Guardian
"My dad would count the snacks and sodas etc. If it was a juice container, it got marked with marker to show the level. We couldn't open the door, even if I could clearly see my friends on the other side through the peephole. One time I got permission to go play outside, but when I opened the door it was a neighbor walking up our front step. I said, 'Dad, Mr. X is here.' And he then grounded me for opening the door without his permission. Our neighbor tried to explain I didn't open the door for him and my dad just didn't care. Neighbor never came over after that."
– evanjw90
This wasn't necessarily a disciplinary "house rule," but we always had to remove our shoes when entering the home.
It's a common custom in most East Asian cultures.
Because I was so accustomed to respecting the home by avoiding tracking in dirt from outside, I always left my shoes near the entrance of any home I entered.
So when an elementary school friend told me I could keep my shoes on when I visited his house for the first time, you can imagine this seven-year-old standing there with a blank expression on his face because it was such a jarring concept to undo.
When we enter into someone's home, we need to adhere to what others want in their homes.
Take off your shoes.
No alcohol.
Clean the toilet after use.
All things we can make possible.
Respecting other people's boundaries is important.
That shouldn't be a problem... unless the rules are a bit strange.
Redditor cigarandcreamsoda wanted to discuss house rules. So they asked:
"What is a non-negotiable rule in your house for everyone?"
Rule #1 in my home... you MUST be able to listen to Adele.
That is all.
Clear the Way
"Don't put stuff on the stairs. Almost died once. Never again!"
kaidomac
"Same with the burners on the stove when not cooking. Too many grown adults were slapping flammable things on it like it was a coffee table."
ki113r116
Shame
"The one rule in my dad’s house is one that he won’t tell you: don’t poop in the upstairs bathroom. The shame of having to ask him for a plunger is just not worth it."
goshpenny
That’s us with the downstairs bathroom. My parents only replaced the one upstairs when they bought the house. The one downstairs is old af and cheap as hell so it’s not gonna flush your logs. My cousin found out the hard way once and flooded the bathroom in the middle of the night."
Kyubey4Ever
Stay Empty
"One side of the kitchen sink stays empty! We have one of those two-basin stainless sinks and it drives me absolutely bonkers when I have to remove and stack dishes just to get water to make coffee in the morning."
Rokhnal
"I grew up with an empty sink and one side of the counter was where dirty dishes got stacked. My wife declared this abnormal and that dirty dishes had to live in the (one-hole) sink."
eljefino
"My roommates are constantly amazed at how little space dirty dishes take up on the counter when they're rinsed and stacked properly."
RokhnalPrivacy
"Knock first! Bathroom, bedroom or study room. Knocking is a slowly forgotten art of respect."
karmawhobiiih
"Totally. We don't lock any inside doors (in case something happens to you and someone needs to get in for help), so we enforce the knock and wait for the ok to enter. We do it when we want to go into my son's room too. He deserves privacy and respect like us as his parents do."
ginan385
Be Gracious
"Help cleaning up the dishes after a meal is graciously appreciated. But, don’t even think about putting my knives or pans in the dishwasher. I will happily hand wash them myself."
PeachPreserves66
Don't be lazy. Clean a DISH!
No Feed
"Don’t feed my dogs, anything. I don’t care how cute they are looking at you."
stickystarz
"fish, fish"
"Don't tap on the aquarium glass."
Kangaroodle
"I had a big aquarium and I actually trained my fish to all congregate at one spot by tapping on an area when it was feeding time and saying 'fish, fish.' Now whenever I need them to be in a particular spot I just tap to wherever I want them to be and because they associate tapping with treats or feeding time, they don't find it scary or stressful. Visitors also love to see me call my fish over by simply tapping and/or saying 'fish, fish.'"
Creative_Recover
Clothes On!
"Minimum pants (underwear) at the dinner table. Remarkably something you have to enforce quite often with small children."
Capable-Dream6768
"My nephews, were they were little, would let you know they were done eating by stripping right there at the table lol. No warnings. That was their way to let us know they were ready for a bath lol."
jdbrizzi91
Pranks
"Don't f**k around with someone when they are asleep. If someone is asleep, they're off limits, no messing with/pranks and no waking up without good reason. It wasn't until talking to my friends who had siblings who would pile things on them, move the bed, wake them up in the middle of the night (just general sibling hijinks) And realized how important the 'leave sleeping family members alone' was in our house growing up."
Yaboijustlikesgoats
Be CLEAN!
"If you pee on the toilet seat clean it up!!!
"I am a single parent with 2 boys, I know I'm not the one peeing on the toilet seat but apparently they don't either."
Southern_Anything_39
Your house, your rules! The end!
What are some rules you grew up with or enforce in your home or apartment today? Let us know in the comments.
Hosts Describe The Worst Examples Of A Guest Making Themselves At Home
You do the good-natured thing of letting someone into your home.
You allow them to eat your food, share your living space, and bathe using your water. And what do they do in return?
Stuff like the people in these stories did.
Reddit user, Mr_Yus_uwu, wanted to know what you should never be okay with a guest doing when they asked:
What was the worst thing your guest did when they took "Make yourself at home" very literally?"
It's not so much what they're asking, or what they're doing, but perhaps it's the way they've asked?
No. It's because they're performing self-cleaning procedures in the same place you eat.
Not Our Problem?
"Dinner guest asked to stay overnight because of the snow (which wasn’t forecasted until much later that night). Spouse and I agreed as we didn’t have work the next day. But guest did - and at 7:30 in the morning he was freaking out because we hadn’t shoveled the driveway for him yet. “How am I supposed to get to work on time?!”"
user256049
"What did you guys do after? I kind of want to know the rest lol."
need2peeat218am
"We told him that our “plow guy” gets here when he gets here (we have a looong driveway) and we have no control over that. Then I poured myself a coffee and sat on the couch."
user256049
Just...No.
"Came home, sitting in his boxers on my kitchen counter washing his feet and trimming toenails in my sink has got to take the cake."
Spamh8r
It shouldn't be that hard to be a good house guest. Someone is allowing you to stay in their home, so perhaps don't do anything you wouldn't anyone doing in your own home.
Don't Rearrange Furniture. Or Throw Away Furniture.
"My father in law was staying with us for a month, he lived in Oman. The spare room was an office with a sofa bed in so it could double up for guests. He bought a double bed and got rid of the sofa bed. I lost my office."
Equivalent_Parking_8
"What a twat! You must've been so relieved when he left. Tell me he left."
Peanut_n_oopie
"He left, then moved back in for almost a year when he retired."
Equivalent_Parking_8
Remember To Turn It Off
"I had guests turn the pool heater on in February and not turn it off or tell me it was on. I noticed steam coming off the pool a week later and it was 90*F. The bill was just under $1000."
Fickle-Willingness80
"My uncle did this once. It was fairly cold in Florida for the time of year and they were hosting a wedding party at their home and turned the heater on for the pool. The only difference to your story, however, is that it was not discovered until we came to visit and realized that the pool was uncomfortably warm, considering it was June. They noticed an increase in the bill but never put two and two together."
YouthfulPhotographer
How Do You Burn...Oh, I See
"Started a kitchen fire by cooking spaghetti in cake pans without water."
"Edit: when I heard the fire alarm ring I ran to the kitchen to find him looking over the stove trying to blow out the fire, with his mouth. Like phuuu phuuu. Basically stoking the flames."
"I slide the flaming cake pan into the sink and dosed it in water to put it out."
"Me, yelling at him asking wtf he was doing."
"His only defense: it woulda worked"
"No motherf-cker, it clearly wasn’t working. I realized this day he started abusing oxys and was so high he had no idea what he was doing."
"Sad story really."
tdefreest
And then there's these, the worst offenses imaginable by people you once seemed okay with allowing into your home but will most certainly never be let back in.
Simple Rule of Thumb: Don't Break Into People's Homes
"My husband’s old friend stayed with us for two weeks while we were living in Japan. He was very smug and irritating; an instant ‘expert’ on Japan after a few days, when we had been living there for two years."
"Finally, finally he left on a Friday. My husband and I had separate plans on Saturday. I returned in the afternoon to an unlocked door and the sound of the TV. I thought hubby had returned early."
"Nope. It was Old Friend - thinking we had gone for the weekend, he had broken into our apartment for an extra two-night stay."
"“You weren’t supposed to be here!” he protested - and he refused to leave until my husband came back home and told Old Pal personally that he had overstayed his welcome."
Charismaticjelly
Ratting Out On Your Spouse
"My wife 3 days ago."
"Tasked with feeding her friends cat while they're away for a week."
"They said help yourself to whatever you like."
"She came home with their waffle maker."
"Pretty sure it meant she could score a couple of their Tim tams not make off with their appliances"
Mashy6012
Don't. Touch. The. Coffee. Maker.
"Rearranged my kitchen. That b-tch."
"Edit: it wasn't my mom. It was a guy I'd gone on two dates with that I left alone in my apartment for a few hours. My mistake I guess."
makin_the_frogs_gay
Just, Wow. Wow.
"The $900 phone sex bill. It was the early 90's and the bill came on paper and was about 100 pages."
"Edit: since this got a bunch of attention, I'll elaborate a bit."
"I let a guy stay in my house for a month while he was in summer school and I was going to be gone half the summer. He would call while black out drunk. Other than this, he was an excellent houseguest. He even told me that they were going to be these phone bills coming and that he would pay for it but we had no idea that it was going to be almost $1,000"
"The reason the bill was 100 pages was because each of the 1-900 numbers operated as individual little telephone companies that generated a separate bill for their services, so that $900 bill was about 50 separate bills printed individually that were bundled together by my local provider."
"If I didn't pay that bill somehow they were never going to let me have a telephone again. I was able to call some of the customer service departments and get some of the bills cancelled or reduced. My house guest coughed up $500 and gave me a CD player and a PlayStation and a TV"
MakesCakesEatsMud
2AM Issues
"Caught a friend of a friend masturbating into my kitchen sink at 2am."
EndlesslyUnfinished
"a few months"
"My brother's best friend came to live with us for 'a few months' because he wanted to move back to our state. My parents agreed because he was supposed to go to college and they believe college education is important. Well 8 years later and he is still there, all my parent's children have moved out but for some reason my brother's best friend is still living there."
xyz388
Damn Craig
"My ex husband had a less than savory friend. He walked into my home once, helped himself to my fridge without asking and then when he got himself some silverware, had the audacity to insult it and say it looked like something a grandmother would have. Well yes, yes it does, since it's hers and she gave it to me."
"Another time he went to my MIL's house when we told him we didn't want to hang out. We weren't even home yet! He came in, say down, ordered a pizza that he refused to share with my MIL or BIL, and just sat there watching TV for two hours until we got back from whatever we were doing. He was a grade A a**hole. F**king hate you, Craig."
pinner
Firestarter
"My relative stayed with my grandma and proceeded to burn the house to the ground by deciding to have a bon fire 3 feet from the side of the house."
lolppjoke
"Slightly related, a family members friends were staying at his place he'd inherited from a dead relative while he was in jail and they caught the place on fire making meth."
CranberryTaboo
1 damn cookie...
"One of my guest brought beer for only himself, put his feet on my dining table, and when he left he took the cookies he had brought over as a thank you gift for letting him stay 3 nights at our place because the road to his house flooded. I only had 1 damn cookie and was very annoyed by how cheap he was."
GogoYubari92
Out of H20
"An in-law took about a 28 minute shower after I explained we were in the middle of a drought and that our well was dangerously low. I’m assuming it was going to be a 30 minute shower but we ran out of water."
bandi53
"I wonder if that was intentional, I cant say why but you'd think saying 'hey my house runs on well water and an extensive shower is probably going to use the last of it up' would make any rational person put away their plans for a long shower."
jerrythecactus
You're Out!
"Literally tried to move in. Had a old friend that was in town and I offered to let her stay here for a week instead of getting a hotel. A week turned into two, which became a month. When I confronted her and asked when her new place would be ready, she said she thought she could just stay. Since she had all of her stuff and was here for over two weeks, even the cops wouldn't take her away. Had to formally evict her."
hello_ground_
Hobo What?
"Didn't leave for 6 months, ate all our cheese and wasted all our dishwasher tablets on 're-running the dishwasher bc it did a bad job' (but would run the same load like 10 times???). He was sleeping w/ my flatmate and she undermined all our attempts at getting him to leave once we realised he was a hobosexual."
"EDIT hobosexual - sleeps or dates ppl for housing. And our dishes were clean, he was lazy and couldn't do the 1 chore I gave him. He re ran out of laziness."
Few_Cup3452
Currently...
"Am I allowed to talk about my current guests? My flatmate’s friend has been here for nearly 6 days, they’ve used my food, expensive shower products, let their child run screaming up and down the hallway for hours without stopping, and (me being petty) looked at me like I am a weirdo for being out in my own kitchen. They were supposed to leave yesterday. I’m very annoyed."
"Edit: good news lads my other flatmate said they’re gone. I can breathe easy again, the sun is shining and there will hopefully never be another screaming child in that house. I know staying 1 extra day seems not too big of a deal but there was literally nowhere in the house I could go to escape the screaming. I am very happy."
Ok-Nail2938
35 years later...
"My grandma offered to make him a sandwich. A little while later he said, where is that sandwich coming from, South Dakota? Guess he thought it was taking too long. 35 years later I still think about that asshole sometimes and wonder wtf was he thinking? Just how could you say that to someone's grandmother you just met? He was my cousin's dorky boyfriend's friend. I was about 13 yo and appalled. My grandmother was the sweetest woman and an amazing hostess."
DiligentAdvantage475
Remember to ask if shoes are allowed in the house, compliment the chef, and don't call phone sex lines using the homeowner's phone unless you intend on reimbursing them.
And maybe not even then.
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