People Break Down The Biggest Bombshells Their Therapist Ever Dropped On Them
Reddit user anonymiss0018 asked: 'What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?'
Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.
It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.
Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:
"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"
Communication Issues
"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"
- maggiebear
"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."
"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."
"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."
- chobani_yo
"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"
Emotional Regulation
"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"
"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."
- lil_mermaid
Tough Relationships
"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"
"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."
"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."
- metric88
High-Stress Situation
"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."
"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."
- KittenGr8r
The End of Alcohol
"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."
"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."
"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."
"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"
"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."
"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"
"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."
"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."
- sophies_wish
Acceptance vs. Enjoyment
"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"
"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."
- alibelloc
Emotionally Immature Parents
"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."
- SmokedPears
Not So Lazy
"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."
"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."
"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."
"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."
- flybyknight665
The Harm in People-Pleasing
"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."
- ERsandwich
Agree to Disagree
"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"
This really changed my outlook on planning family events."
- freef
Grieve and Start Anew
"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."
"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"
"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."
- squeaktoy_la
Multifaceted Identity
"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."
- unfairpegasus
Breaking the Cycle
"They validated me."
"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."
"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."
"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"
- puppsmcgee74
The Grieving Process
"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."
"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."
"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"
"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"
"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."
"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."
- Hannibal680
Sharing the Load
"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."
"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."
"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."
"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."
"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."
"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."
- Backupusername
The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.
It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.
Women Who Dated Someone They Thought 'I Can Fix Him' Explain What Happened
"Reddit user rest_in_war asked: 'Women who said "I can fix him", what happened?'"
"I can fix them."
That is one of life's most dangerous sentences.
Love is going to turn out how it turns out.
We can help a significant other.
We can support them.
We can even guide them through the journey.
But fixing someone is not an option.
You can only fix oneself.
Plus, why would you want to fix someone?
Shouldn't we be interested in one another as we are?
Fixing someone implies that they're broken in a way you don't approve of.
That's not a great way to nurture love.
Redditor rest_in_war wanted to hear from the ladies out there about the guys they tried to change, so they asked:
"Women who said 'I can fix him,' what happened?"
If they need fixing, send them to a mechanic. (Therapist)
But don't wait around for the bill.
Moving On
Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"With his newfound self-esteem, he left me for someone better."
CertainProgram8782
Over & Over
"Well, I failed at fixing him but learned a lot about myself in the process. I have no hate for him- if anything I hope every day he does the work to fix himself because I saw the potential and I did care for him once. I hate to think that he’ll just continue life repeating the same patterns over and over."
"I can say for myself, yes there was some damage done for sure! But I’ve never been the type to linger in my hurt. So, I learned a lot about myself, good and bad, and I’ve chosen to let the hurt go that he caused me and work on me. It’s been rocky here and there if I’m being honest- but if I could put that much effort and time into trying to fix someone else, why would I not do the same for myself?!?"
oreosaregarbage
Worse by the Day
"I didn't and he got crazier. No idea what has happened to him now and I don't care."
Comfortable-Ear-9186
Utterly Broken
"Well, my grandma said 'I can fix him,' ended up pregnant and alone. My mother never had a relationship with her biological dad (luckily my grandma met my grandad who then raised my mom). My mom said 'I can fix him,' and ended up alone with a baby. Was a single mom for 15 years. Luckily she's now married to my stepdad who's a great man."
"I said 'I can fix him' and tried my best and wasted 4 years of my youth. LUCKILY I didn't have kids with him, but he wanted to. I came out the other side utterly broken and it took quite a few years to repair myself. My self-confidence is still nonexistent, even though I've been married to a great man for 15 years."
"So, one word of advice; don't."
NamillaDK
Poison Spreads
"Ended up broken too."
ramonapap1
"Reminds me of that tweet that goes something like, 'I convinced my therapist to confront her husband about not liking her tweets. She may not be able to fix me, but at least I can make us both worse.'"
RilohKeen
A plan like this can only lead to self-harm.
We deserve more.
For the Better
Valentines Day Love GIF by Boomerang OfficialGiphy"I was the one who was fixed. My husband helped me work through my trauma and got me into therapy after we got married. I learned to take accountability for my actions and became much more honest with him. when we got together, I was absolutely aimless, but now I have a genuine plan for my future and I'm so excited to work hard with him in creating a comfortable and happy life together.
"I have always wanted to change for the better and wanted more for my life but he was certainly the push I needed to get there. He's been such a fantastic influence on me and I can never thank him enough for being my rock; I can only hope to repay him for everything he's done for me."
jwannnnn
Clean it Up
"I actually did 'fix him' while we were together- cleaned up (haircuts and regular shaving, clothes that actually fit, etc) and got him a job. The week after I helped him get his own apartment he cheated on me. He almost immediately reverted to how he was before, last I saw he was back to baggy pants and homeless man hair/facial hair. Lost his job and apartment and the girl left him... lol."
Interesting_Worth570
Closed Off
"Well, I am completely emotionally unavailable, and I no longer wish to give people my heart like that again."
NocturnalNess
"I know how you feel because I’ve been in that boat before. Please, when the right person comes along, do not be afraid to open up again. Those scars will ruin future relationships if you don’t let them heal. And all that’s obviously to say is let yourself be ready and don’t rush it. It gets better."
Merkaba_987
Back to my country...
"I was the one who was fixed."
"I met an exchange student when I was 19, and dropped out of college (was failing anyway) to follow her to her country. After about a year there, I was so head over heels in love I was sure I’d marry her. There was no way I was going to be a good husband with no job prospects, not knowing her language, etc."
"I went back to my country to get a menial job in a factory, get myself back into school, study her language, make something of myself. Whereas I was failing out of college when I left, I ended up getting a 4.0 when I went back."
"She flew to see me a few times and the last time broke up with me. I was devastated. But the fire had already been lit and I feel I’ve been quite successful in life over the last 25 years, and I am so thankful for her influence."
ThicccNhatHanh
Getting Wild
Lets Go Reaction GIF by Mason RamseyGiphy"He left me because the grass was greener. I built him up so much that he was sure he could do better and go out to 'sow his wild oats.' 10 years later and he's close to 40 still living at home and hasn't had a girlfriend since."
happyele
What have we learned?
We can only fix ourselves.
And it's ok that love doesn't always conquer all.
People Recount The Most Profound Thing Their Therapist Ever Said
Whether it's in a traditional therapy session or not, we all need advice from time to time.
But sometimes during therapy, some truly profound statements may be made that the client will never forget.
Redditor lilmizzvalz asked:
"What is a profound statement your therapist has told you?"
Searching for Reason
"'You're trying to rationalize something said by an irrational person. You won't make sense from nonsense.'"
- A_Random_Lady
Intentions vs. Actions
"We judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their actions."
- codewarrior128
Unfair Compromise
"If someone can't or won't meet you halfway, that doesn't mean you go further. One-hundred percent of the time, that will lead to resentment."
- rainynotes
Negative Self-Talk
"Not profound necessarily, but she noticed I was very hard on myself and asked me if I would talk to others the way I talk to myself."
- suspicious_lobster6
"I was out with my little one, and I did something silly, so instinctively, I called myself an id**t."
"My daughter said, ‘Daddy, you’re very mean to yourself,' and now I think about that a lot."
- craptainbland
Simply Surviving
"She pointed out that a lot of the things I do or don’t do that I hate about myself are coping and survival mechanisms."
"They were important to surviving a s**tty upbringing, and now that I’m safe, they aren’t needed. Unlearning these traits/habits are hard. It’s not my fault, and I need to allow myself to recognize that."
- kmk89
"My therapist hit me with something when we were in that same vein. He said, 'You’re basing your way of living off the part of your life where you had no agency. You have that agency now.'"
- zharkus
An Overprotective Friend
"'Your anxiety is not evil or an enemy. It’s like an overprotective friend trying to keep you safe because it saw you hurt once. Don’t fight it; just prove it wrong.'"
- Laura5013
Be Proactive, Not Reactive
"'You don’t have to wait for something terrible to happen before you change your behavior.'"
- Olda**rollerskater
Constantly Growing and Changing
"'People are not finished products.'"
"It's really helped soften my outlook and attitude toward others and myself."
- yekirati
Level of Danger
"'Is this harming you or is this just uncomfortable?'"
"Not every difficult situation is harming us; sometimes it’s just a stretch, and those are uncomfortable. If it’s uncomfortable, it’s likely teaching you something and would be worth working through."
"I’m high-strung with anxiety, so this helped me calm down and look at difficult situations more objectively."
- CuriousTsukihime
Incompatibility Is Okay
"I never ever realized this before and it’s gonna make me seem like an id**t, but it was profound to me to hear, 'You aren’t compatible with everyone.'"
"I used to think that I could make a relationship work with anyone as long as the effort was there, but she opened my eyes to realizing that what makes someone special is when you both are compatible with each other because that’s actually a very rare thing to find."
- neoIithic
Breaking Generational Cycles
"Your ability to cut people off and self-isolate is a trauma response to never having anyone to depend on when you were young."
"I now understand why my parents were the way they were, and I no longer ascribe to them blame for my current mental state, and I am in the process of taking personal responsibility for my actions and not passing on generational trauma."
- Odd-Grapefruit4215
A Reality Check
"When I came back from Iraq, I was not in a good place. I was dealing with some serious PTSD, and started to withdraw from the world."
"Finally, I saw the VA was offering free mental health therapy for returning vets, so I gave them a call."
"The therapist came out to my place and we talked for a bit, and then he said something that made me think for the first time there was light at the end of the tunnel: 'You know, you're not half as crazy as you think you are.'"
"That one sentence helped me find my way back. I'll never forget that."
- Hewholooksskyward
Nice, But Optional
"Forgiveness of another person is not a necessity to move on, despite what people say."
"But you DO need to forgive YOURSELF for not being able to forgive the person who wronged you, otherwise, you’ll hold onto anger forever."
"Once you let go of THEM, forgiveness aside, your life is that much better."
- OkeyDokeyArtichokey1
Because 'Family'
"They pointed out to me, 'Many intrafamily problems boil down to bad manners.'"
- OpalWildwood
"I realized that my family is very good at maintaining appropriate social boundaries with other people but within the family interactions, they totally disappear. And we're supposed to put up with it, because FAMILY."
"Like, why do you treat your family s**ttier than strangers? How do we deserve less respect?"
- StickFigureSoul
Perpetual Worry
"Worrying about something makes you experience it twice!"
- jslay588
"My dad actually said this quote to me and it really resonated with me: 'Worrying does not relieve us of tomorrow's troubles; it only robs us of today’s joy.'"
- Life-Gazelle3499
"I like to tell myself, 'It looks like you’re writing a fanfiction again,' whenever I start imagining how something that could go bad might go and it starts to feel too real."
"It makes sense because what is fanfiction? It’s a made-up story that isn’t 'canon,' written by a fan imagining what they THINK will happen. That’s basically what every bad 'what if' you imagine in your head is."
"Or you can say that that scenario you just imagined is something YOU made up, which makes it fiction. It’s no more real than (name of the last fictional movie or show you watched). That helps me a lot, too."
- StreetIndependence62
It makes perfect sense that this is the advice that Redditors have held onto over the years.
All we can say, really, is we wish we could have all heard these and internalized them when we were young.
One morning at work, I was having a conversation with a co-worker. The subject was something we had discussed before: me, freaking out about possibly being let go since I was the last one hired and many businesses hadn't recovered the losses they suffered due to COVID.
My co-worker, who had previously just listened to me and offered platitudes, gave me some real advice that morning. The advice had come straight from her therapist.
"Think about your worry and think about if there is evidence to support that worry. If not, you shouldn't worry."
It seems simple, but it really helped me. While many businesses didn't recover, the company I worked for had, meaning there was no reason to worry about my job -- unless, of course, I spent so much time fretting over getting fired that my output suffered.
In an age where mental health is so important, therapists can really help with coping mechanisms, advice, and even your general outlook on life. Redditors know this is true and are ready to share some of the most valuable lessons they've learned in therapy.
It all started when Redditor figinjosejospe asked:
"What's the most valuable thing you’ve learned from therapy?"
Just Walk Away
"Sometimes it has to be YOU who needs to walk away from them. This an advice that was given to me when I had a toxic friendship that was draining me for years."
– JennFoogle
"I learned this lesson two years ago, and I am still struggling with it every day. I had a friend who is an alcoholic and a drug addict but a functional member of society. He would ALWAYS use me as an excuse by saying I am a bad influence on him when it was ALWAYS him doing drugs and just generally being a POS."
"One day he decided to try and sleep with my then spouse in my bed, I caught him, I did not immediately confront them about it but when I did she dumped me because she did not want to hurt his family..."
"Some people just need to go"
– Then_Channel_3234
"I cut off a close friend a few years ago. Long story, but I’m happy I did. Feels like I just took a huge dump."
– Scottland83
The Real Me
"No one sees the version of you that you see of yourself."
– Bazooka_Antics
"Very true! It's one of those "we are our own worst critic" situations. The way I see myself and the way I'm described by others seems dramatically different"
"Good pick!"
– appleparkfive
Just Say No
"I can say, "No" to people who won't accept a no. (100 ways to say "No" was a"homework" assignment.)"
– AQuietMan
"Additionally, "No." is a complete sentence."
"You don't have to justify no."
– coniferous-1
You Fix You
"For me, therapy taught me that my personal issues were my responsibility to fix. Blaming others accomplishes nothing. To improve, you have to take responsibility for things in your control."
– nick_otis
"This so much this! Mine told me “it’s not your fault that these things happened to you but it is your responsibility to make sure you don’t take it out on others”"
– melkyyyy
We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve
"I learned that I don’t have to bend over backwards to accommodate everyone around me at all times. I think I kind of was a pushover before and now I’m getting better at setting boundaries and standing up for myself. Not everyone in my closer circle is happy about this, but now i’m learning that it is also okay to let friendships go. I don’t owe anyone my friendship. Might sound weird, idk. But yeah :)"
– AnotherPeaInThePod
"Oh man. Same. You should have been there for my last family gathering. Me not defaulting to servant/punching back like they were used to led to an all out uproar. The worst part was they took it out on my wife, blamed her for supporting my independence and right to not be used. It's been a while since I've seen most of them now and I had to come to terms with the fact that I will probably never be close with my sister again."
– ironwheatiez
"You teach people how to treat you"
– expert_dogpetter
Be Good To Yourself
"Being kind to yourself is so hard because we’re (older gen maybe a bit more I guess?) taught implicitly for years NOT to do it. It is something new that you are starting against something much worse long established Like every new skill it will take time to develop and that is totally ok"
"Related: Don’t punish yourself for a lapse in “discipline” when trying something new. Take a break (Whether it’s minutes or days or longer) and try again. It’s not a setback, it’s a readjustment to helping build a stronger habit to give the version of you that you want to be a chance. 10 push-ups today might not seem like much but if yesterday was zero, then 10 is a lot."
– ValBravora048
Listen To Your Heart
"It's made me realise just how little I listen to my emotions normally - and that emotions are amoral and can't be rationalized away, they just exist."
"When my therapist asks me how I'm feeling about something, so often I don't know - or I do know the answer, but it feels ugly/mean, so I don't want to admit it, even to myself. Once you clock how often that's happening, you realize why bottling so much stuff up is leading to your general unhappiness/stress."
"Still working on this, but it's surprised me to have that big of a revelation when I thought of myself as being very emotionally mature. (Turns out I can manage everyone else's but not my own)"
– Lordaxxington
Not All My Fault
"That it really IS my brain chemistry and not just a Me Problem."
"Due to circumstances, I had to complete a 10 week program in order to qualify for getting assessed for medications. My first therapist quit after my 9th session, and since she was the only one offering the program at that clinic, I had to start again with another from week 1"
"Both told me that I'm doing everything right, that I know and use all the coping mechanisms, that they can't REALLY help me from thier position and both reccomended I get medicated (tbf I have my own reservations about exactly how much work can really be done in 10 sessions against a life time of Being Like This but that's a whole other issue)"
"But the difference is honestly night and day."
"I can't explain to you the f*cking PEACE I feel now. Not having a melt down due to taking a little bit too long putting change in my purse at the grocery store, not having months of fog with no memory of events, being able to just exist in my body and environment without feeling like I've called doom upon myself for the crime of existing in a space."
"I still have work to do on myself, but oh my God it's so much easier."
– Aware_Bet
But Faaamily!
"You don't HAVE TO like your parents. It's not some sort of requirement."
– 10throwaway123456789
"Jumping off your comment: that your parents are just people you share the planet with and you may not like who your parents are as people and that's okay."
– EmbarrassedBoat9587
"I remember my big breakthrough moment with my therapist was."
""You know both your parents are terrible people right?""
""Well, they have both done bad things, sure.""
""Count the number of good things they have done for you and then the bad things to you""
""...""
""Yeah. You owe them nothing.""
– coniferous-1
You Feel What You Feel
"The more you run from your own feelings, the stronger they get. It’s only through acknowledging and facing your feelings that you’ll be able to work through them. Also, labeling feelings as “good” or “bad” is counterproductive. Your feelings are valid. How you process and express those feelings is what’s important."
– scaryboilednoodles
Best Advice
"Don't accept criticism from someone you wouldn't go to for advice"
"No one can walk all over you if you don't lay down on the floor for them"
– slynnmart
I wish someone had told me that when I was younger!
Mental health is so important, and we all know it.
If we can't manage our mental health, we can't manage anything else in our lives, either.
Now that the importance of mental health is acknowledged and talking about mental health is more accepted, it's easier than ever to get advice or tips on how to gain control over your mental health.
Of course, you can -- and should -- consider methods like therapy.
However, there are some easy tricks you can try right now, just to help start the process. This could include finding a little joy in each day, throwing yourself into your hobby, developing an exercise routine, or even cleaning the house!
Redditors have lots of great mental health tips, and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor spiritualsplash asked:
"What's the greatest mental health tip you've gotten?"
Kind To Yourself
"Would you be friends with someone that talks to you the way you talk to yourself in your head? Be kinder to yourself."
– steppinrazor2009
"Yes. I am thankfully over my disordered eating, but struggled with it for years."
"seriously... would I tell a friend, "oh no, you can't eat today, because you ate yesterday, you pig?" I would not. So how on Earth is it okay to say that to yourself?"
– finewhateverbot
Just Do It
"Anything worth doing is worth halfa**ing"
"Cant shower? washcloth. Cant cook? frozen dinners. Cant exercise? stand outside for a moment or by an open window."
"Do the little things"
– crazymissdaisy87
"This was a huge push for me breaking out of my depressive episodes. Don't have the energy to just brush your teeth, floss, then mouth wash? Grab your tooth brush wet it and do a few scrubs. That's all it takes."
"Often times you will "I'm already here might as well do the rest of it" and it helps a ton."
– damboy99
Helping Others Help You
"You know that good feeling you get when you help someone? Asking for help is giving someone else the opportunity to feel that way."
– WingZombie
Them, Not You
"I was having trouble with a co-worker. She was always criticizing me and annoying me. It didn’t have any practical effect on my job or career (she wasn’t on my team, nor was she in a position of authority) but it was demoralizing and unpleasant."
"I brought it up with my boss and he sighed and before he walked away, he said only “She’s a b*tch.”"
"It was terrific! I realized, yes, she is a b*tch. She complains about me and insults me, because she is an unpleasant person. It has nothing to do with me and it only has the effect on me that I allow it to have."
– substantial-freud
Lower The Pressure
"The best advice a coworker-turned-friend ever gave me when I complained sometimes I found the company drinks excruciatingly boring was "you know you don't have to enjoy things, right?""
"Suddenly showed me that I somehow had internalised that me finding things boring meant something was wrong with me, rather than with the things."
– SteveXVI
Superheroes Are You
"You're not your trauma"
– nomnemnem
"Unless your trauma was being bitten by a radioactive spider, in which case, you might be Spiderman."
– mahmoudhanine9t7
I Like To Move It, Move It
"To start working out ( Nothing major, walks etc) and to find a hobby I like to do."
– Connect_Door6700
"A lot of people roll their eyes at this one, but it’s so true. Even something like walking daily can have a massive impact on your mental health."
– underhooking
Appreciate You
"Go where your celebrated not where your tolerated . idk why but this quote got me a lot further in life when I was going through my trauma"
– sudocanna
"After the last 4 years being at a job that sucked my soul and confidence out of me every single day, I feel this. Found a new job where my knowledge and skill was appreciated and acknowledged (and the pay was wayyy higher). I literally cried after my first day at my new job because I had forgotten what it felt like to be seen."
– ChaplnGrillSgt
Hydrate
"I was so confused when someone told me to start drinking water regularly. I feel myself much happier and healthier"
– buggybboo
No One Cares About You...And That's Good
""People don't give a f*ck about you. Everyone gives a f*ck about themselves and has anxiety of how other people perceive them. They are too busy being paranoid themselves. Literally nobody gives a single f*ck about what you do or did or didn't do.""
"This extremely helped my panic attacks about joining a new team and having to give presentations to them, feeling super self conscious. As soon as I realized they don't actually notice the things about myself I'm hyper aware of, everything became easier."
– momoji13
Looking Forward
"To always have something to look forward to. Whether it's a new episode of a show every week or a D&D session with your friends just make sure that you always have something to look forward to during the week."
– Heather_Chandelier
Lesson Learned
"Mistakes should be treated as lessons not regrets. Once you realize what you have learned from the mistake, let it go."
– Xuntosub
Control Your Reactions
"You are more than what happens to you. Also, you have a right to feel angry if you've been wronged, but you still have to find ways to move forward. Even if you don't forgive and forget."
– Levelless86
"This is true. I went through a major depressive episode in my early 20s and had a friend cajole me into therapy. I had dropped out of college, gone through a series of dead-end jobs, and isolated myself from any meaningful relationships."
"I spent the entire first session explaining how everything that had gone wrong in my life could be connected back to my father. When I eventually took a breath, the therapist halted my rant. She told me that the abuse was categorically his fault, but everything I had done since and was doing now was my choice and in my control."
"That statement alone didn’t fix anything, but I saw that I was stuck emotionally at the age of my abuse. I needed to find a way to restart the clock. We started focusing my efforts on mindfulness, accountability, and forming healthy, mature relationships. I worked on moving forward and building self confidence. It was infinitely more beneficial than rehashing the past and “how did that make you feel” discussions."
– imgoingtostealtheDOI
Is There Any Evidence To Back Up That Theory?
"If you’re an overthinker, learn to segregate your thoughts by asking yourself is it an assumption based thought or an evidence based one."
– Downtown_Mixture6380
As a fellow overthinker, this is amazing advice!