Hearing someone say something hurtful about you sucks. It doesn't even have to be a purposefully negative thing, or an intentional hurt - sometimes it's just rough to feel like people aren't on your team. Oh, you thought it only happened to you? Psh. Wrong.
It's not just people who hate you that talk trash, either. I remember my mother telling my now-ex-husband to be careful with me because I was manipulative and would try to take him for everything he had. We've had our differences (obviously, or he wouldn't be my ex) but even he will 100% attest to the fact that she couldn't have been further from the mark.
Let's just say my mother has always been one to assume the worst about me in all cases possible.
Reddit user lunardownpour asked:
and yeah ... ouch. The responses were rough.
Should Have Died
In high school I was in a terrible car accident. My first day back at school 3 weeks later, I walked into my AP English class and heard some girl say "She honestly should have just died in that accident. Better for everyone that way."
She was actually just mad that her boyfriend had broken up with her and very publicly asked me out; and that I had beaten her in an important writing contest. The results of the contest had been posted that morning. She seemed angry that I was still doing my work when I was out, but I couldn't leave my bed so why not?
Coincidentally that was also the first time I realized my best friend would always have my back. She hadn't realized I walked in and verbally destroyed that bitch in front of about 12 of her friends.
... Just Not Her
"When I'm ready to settle down It'll be with someone like her... just not her"
By the guy I'd been seeing for a while when someone asked him why we hadn't made it "official" yet.
Right Idea, Wrong Kid
My stepdad insisting I was sleeping with my boyfriend (wasn't) and that I'd wind up just like my mother, pregnant at a young age. My mom got mad because obviously it wasn't easy being a teenage parent but she did well for herself and for me. This eventually turned into a yelling match about why he would date/marry her if he had a problem with her having me at a young age and him trying to backtrack and bring up other issues to deflect.
Turns out he had the right idea, just the wrong kid. My sister, his biological daughter, had my lovely nephew days before she turned 18.
The Birthday PartyGiphy
In 6th grade the "popular kids" went to one kids birthday party. Don't know how but I found out about it existing, and my parents forced me to go. This was back when all the boys were invited to birthday parties.
I overheard the birthday boy telling someone that I wasn't invited. Really sucked.
"He literally has no friends. Our son is weak and can't do anything."
Was dating my ex, and was at her house and we were outside, went in to use the bathroom and left them outside. Little did they know, the ground level window was open, so i could hear them start talking, and it went a little like this.
Friend: "I cant believe you're dating that POS, he's creepy"
Ex: "I know, I told you hes a rebound for jack"
Friend: "As long as you get rid of him, hes so annoying to be around"
Fluent In Greek
I'm fluent in Greek, but I don't look Greek at all. When I was a lot younger I walked into a restaurant with my girlfriend at the time, the couple next to us was constantly talking about us in Greek. Just wrecking me mostly. Such as:
How is this 1/10 with this 10/10?
Muscle head must be on steroids.
His pants and shirt don't even fit.
Probably no money and is abusive.
Finally I had enough and I wrote them a note in Greek that said something like: "You are hurting my feelings. I don't understand why you people are rude and evil, please stop." and passed it on to them.
When we left the bill was covered.
I had my head down in class and overheard two girls talking about how I smelled
That really got to me especially since I'm a borderline germophobe. After that I doubled up on everything like showers, oral hygiene, face washing, etc...
Everyday at school I would always worry about how I smelled and it would make me slightly depressed at times and give me anxiety about going to that class
To this day, I still feel insecure about how I smell to others.
A Little Bit Of Weight
I wouldn't say worst but it's not nice. My mum weighs about 140kgs (just over 300lbs) has had both hips and a knee replaced, went through menopause at 37 and has all these other ailments like osteoarthritis and fatty liver disease. She'd rather pop a pill then do anything else to somehow ease her illnesses and the PRIMARY thing that would contribute to a better life is her losing the weight.
I have had a laparoscopic sleeve gastrectomy 5 years ago, suffered with PCOS since 11, and so still didn't lose weight as much as other women. I have now been keto for three years after finding out I had serious food allergies (wheat/yeast/soy). So I'm very mindful of food, nutrition, exercise etc.
I do Olympic weightlifting 3 times per week, strength training, horse riding and yoga for physical and mental health. I've lost over 45kgs (about 100 lbs) on my journey and improved my life significantly. As a result, I've also had to buy clothing that fits and get used to wearing things more form fitting.
So over Xmas mum bought me all these things from a store that were size xxxl -I think that would be 20-22 AU at the store she purchased from. I could see just looking at the garment it wouldn't fit, but in my mums eyes I'm as fat as her. So I tell her it doesn't fit and she doesn't believe me until I put the pyjama pants on and pulled the waistband over my head. Instead of laughing about it she got pissed off.
We went to that store to change the items but being that I've not purchased from them before I didn't know what size I would fit. So I'm trying two sizes and she purposely wants me to wear the larger size. I do a few swaps and put the smaller size on and she says "oh that's lovely" and when I tell her it's the smaller size she says "it's grabbing at the back". (It wasn't).
So I hear the sales lady come up and she asks my mum if I'm ok and my mum says "She's lost a little bit of weight and wants to wear everything tighter now" with such disgust in her voice.
I couldn't believe it. I took everything off and opened the curtain and threw them back at her and told her she could buy something for herself with the credit from the store.
It's your mum and you don't want to think she's jealous or dislikes you but more and more I think she doesn't like me at all. A person who likes you wouldn't behave like that.
My husband says she's jealous because she can't even bend to tie her shoes let alone walk even 100 metres without panting like she ran a marathon.
My step-dad reading my diary of love poems to his friends at the dinner table and laughing about "how stupid" it was. I was like 8, for hell's sake. And that diary was stored in my desk drawer in my room. I was absolutely livid.
Just Like Her Father
"She looks just like her father when she's angry" My father regularly beat the everloving snot out of my mother. It got worse after I was born. FACS removed me at 6 months old, for 6 months, because my father was holding me when he swung at my mother and he dropped me. She left when I was 2. I overheard her telling a social worker this quote when I was 16.
It hurt like hell because I apparently reminded her of the man who scarred her for life in many ways whenever I was grumpy.
The Sentimental Jacket
I overheard my friends say:
"She always wears that jacket, Probably cuts herself that ugly [deleted]."
It killed me on the inside. The jacket was from my aunt who moved far away. It reminded me of her. I stopped wearing that jacket and felt ashamed.
Proud To Be An American
I have family who are very proud of their Mexican heritage. I'm very proud to be an American and I've served in the US Marine Corps.
I've over heard them talking in Spanish (since they forget I can still speak it), and they joke about how stupid they think I am for having joined. They feel that I deserve the hassles I'm getting dealing with the VA.
Do The Job Right
Basically I was in a toxic relationship at the time, and it was just a constant cycle of my ex gaslighting me, becoming jealous of anyone else who spent time with me, putting me down, etc. For context, I was also in an abusive situation at home living with my dad, and I had met my ex, Mark, and dated him as I was dealing with my home life.
We were a long distance relationship, and we mainly chatted on Skype. We'd have voice calls and video chats often, usually when my dad was asleep for obvious reasons. When I explained to him when I'd suddenly hang up during calls or I was gone for a while without warning it was because of my dad. Mark would just laugh it off with really awful jokes about it.
Don't get me wrong, I love dark humor as much as the next guy, but it hurts to hear that when you're dealing with getting beat regularly. He constantly vented to me about stuff in his life, but got angry when I even got the smallest bit upset about anything in my life.
Fast forward near the end of our relationship; Mark was in a call with me and another person, sharing what was showing on his screen as he was using his laptop. I suppose Mark assumed I fell asleep since it was late and I was quiet, or didn't care/forgot that he was sharing his screen.
He opened his chat with the other person, and I saw some of the stuff she and Mark were saying about me. Mark's message to her that said something like:
"LMAO I hope her dad gets mad enough to do the job right next time"
He knew that dad threatened to kill me a few times.
His Girlfriend's Kids
My father was talking to my grandmother about how I was weird and he preferred to be a father to his girlfriend's kids.
I saw my favorite teacher from secondary school in a pub. I heard him say to a friend that I was one of his biggest disappointments.
I'm well aware that I haven't met expectations but this hit me really hard.
Not sure if this counts but I was casually going through my girlfriend's comment history and found out she had made a post on the Couple Advice subreddit about how boring I am. She said that she feels like I'm preventing her from having fun and "caging her in."
Not the worst thing I've heard but it hurt to see how my girlfriend felt I was so boring she was considering breaking up with me.
So Much Better
"I heard Johnny is dating her, he can do so much better"
The entire room agreed. I was at the door as the room fell silent when they realized I heard them.
The Drunken Phone Call
My mom got drunk and was talking to someone on the phone. She said she wishes she had aborted me. This was right after I came out as trans.
A Flight To Catch
After a suicide attempt that nearly killed me, I heard my dad say to someone in the emergency department
"How long is this going to take? I have a flight to catch in the morning."
It's one of the only things I remember about that night.
The Ugly End Of The Scale
I was in English class, must have been about 15 years old. There were two guys sitting next to me who were chatting amongst themselves whilst we were doing work. The two 'popular' girls were sitting at the back of the class, one was extremely beautiful the other one was...kinda average.
I heard one of the boys ask the other one if they thought the average looking popular girl was hot, his response was "I mean, kinda, shes not like [pretty popular girl's] level but shes not like..."
Then he looked around the room briefly and said my name. The other guy then agreed with him and they moved on in their conversation.
I think the reason why it crushed me so much was the fact that he didn't intend on me to hear, he wasn't saying it to try and be funny or hurt my feelings, he was just using me as an example of someone on the ugly end of the scale in order to get his point across.
If they said it loudly for me to hear I would have just brushed it off as kids being mean, but the fact that it was something I overheard made it so much more painful.
The Fun House Lady
I was told, to my face, that when I laugh I sound like the fat lady at the fun house. Not something you want to hear. Especially when you laugh alot.
Early in my career, I got an email from a co-worker, meant for someone else, talking about how tight and out-of-style my jeans were. I had zero self-esteem back then so I threw the jeans away after work that day. Now I would've laughed it off, or more likely I would've used it to embarrass the dude who sent it.
Approached my mother to tell her I felt suicidal, that I thought I needed help. Under her breath as I left she muttered:
"Hurry up and do it then and stop talking about it."
I was 15.
The Church Ladies
I was walking into a church as a teen, two older ladies were walking by and I heard one say out loud:
"That's one ugly kid."
There was no one else around so they had to be talking about me.
Then the other one (I guess to be nicer, but sounded worse) said to her:
"Well, he's not ugly to his momma."