As if being a mom isn't hard enough, why does society want to heap on more stress. Women who can breastfeed need to be able to breastfeed. They need to do it whenever and wherever.
This has been a contentious, dramatic issue for generations. Some people just can't handle a boob out in public. A boob that is nourishing a child, I might add. When you're hungry, you don't want to wait, so why should a mom, make her baby wait until a more "appropriate" time?
God grow up.
Redditor u/Brace4Landing wanted to chat about what women have to do what they do, by asking:
What are your thoughts about women breastfeeding openly in restaurants?
Ok!Cartoon Yes GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"Breastfeeding, sure no problem. Changing diapers on the table/booth/chair, no freaking way. There's a reason most bathrooms have a change table."
"As long as you don't leave your dirty flip-flops on the table that's disgusting."
"Last week I was at a cafe terrace and I saw a woman breastfeeding her baby and afterwards changing the diaper on the table (which was a tad odd since they have a nice changing room there). After she left I noticed she left the dirty diaper on her plate, didn't even bother to close it up."
"A baby can't scream with a mouthful, so I'd say it's a win-win."
"My son used to do the same. The thing is his twin would get right to feeding and would stimulate the let down on his boob too, so it would be 20 seconds of screaming and 30 seconds of vague drowning noises before he clicked that food was happening."
"The baby's gotta eat. Plus I don't even pay enough attention to other people to even notice or give a crap either way."
"I agree lol!! I've noticed moms breastfeeding their babies at a restaurant maybe a grand total of TWO times in my whole life, and I go out to eat all the time. However, I ALWAYS notice when a baby is screeching so loud nobody can enjoy their meal."
"I don't even mean just crying, I mean that SCREECH they do sometimes where if you're anywhere close to them you can't even continue talking, you just have to stop and WAIT for the kid to finish. (I promise I don't hate kids LOL this is just my opinion)."
No AdultsOh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy
"Acceptable if she's breastfeeding her baby, weird if she's doing so with her husband."
So far, so normal. Stay in your own conversation. If you're that interested about another person, you're sounding like a stalker.
WhatevesLet It Go Whatever GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"The more it happens the less people will care."
"I was once breastfeeding my daughter on the beach, aside from my boob being *kind of* out (mostly blocked by the baby) I was wearing shorts and a shirt, more covered than most of the people on the beach. Apparently a dude started watching me that I didn't notice and his girlfriend took offense to it."
"She started to approach me, but my mom was with us and gave her the stink eye to end all stink eyes. I have to think if they had been just a little more exposed to breast feeding this wouldn't have been anything. I'm also 99% sure that incident resulted in the couple fighting."
When in Public
"I walked with my head down the majority of my life because I felt like everyone was staring at me as I'm a very tall female. Started looking up a few years ago and realized how very wrong I was. I cared WAY more about this made up scenario in my head while assuming the worst and causing MYSELF to feel shame over it- than anyone else ever cared about my height. We're all busy doing our own thing and I don't think MOST people care about women breastfeeding in public as people think they do."
The Best Questions To Ask During A Job Interview | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
In the UK...
"I went to a mall in London, England once with a room dedicated for baby care. There were comfortable chairs and a microwave and sink. There were also little rooms with rocking chairs and low light floor lamps. Now, I would feed my baby wherever the hell I needed to, but this was luxury."
Free!Mothers Day Mama GIF by reactionseditorGiphy
"I'd rather a happy baby having a meal than a hungry miserable baby screaming and crying for nourishment. I am however against the restaurant charging an opening fee."
"You know, I don't think I've ever noticed anyone breast feeding. I'm sure I've seen it happen while I was out but I've never noticed. I think that says something about the people who do make a big deal out of it."
"So often it just looks like they're holding the baby. You usually can't see anything. There were a couple times random people struck up conversations with me while I was nursing in public, and I could tell they had absolutely no idea."
"As a woman, I think women should be able to feed their baby wherever. As a matter of personal preference though, I always cover up. I have had soo many creeps stare at me that I don't like to openly do it."
"I have breastfed in public before, and would continue to do so if I had children who were nursing. I always used the two-shirt method to keep myself as covered as possible, which was for my comfort as my breast was much larger than my baby's head."
"Just to add to this... In America, public breastfeeding is protected by federal law and state law - in all the states."
"In so many comment sections, I always come across the argument that the federal law only protects breastfeeding in public so women can't breastfeed in restaurants or stores because they're private property—the law must only apply to municipal parks and government buildings. I tell them to look at the text of the law because it doesn't say "public", it says "anywhere the mother is otherwise permitted to be", like a publicly-accessible-yet-privately-owned store. Idiots."
Who cares?mind it talk show GIF by iOne DigitalGiphy
"I try not to think about other people's business. Especially stuff that doesn't affect me in any way."
"I think everyone, including babies, should be able to eat in restaurants."
"Restaurants should also set policies though. I'm cool with those that allow everyone, but it's fair as well to have adults-only restaurants. Kids can be quite disturbing. As long as policies are disclosed, s'aulgood, man!"
"It's pretty much the same as any customer. Don't disturb the other guests and you are fine. So drink up little human. At least you are silent."
"This is the most reasonable. As long as you aren't making a scene while doing it, it's not a problem. If you take your boob out and then wait for someone to look and then decide to throw a fit, then you should be thrown out just like any other unruly customer."
Summer in the South, fun!
"My thoughts are that I hope she doesn't give a crap what anybody else thinks when she breastfeeds her child in a restaurant."
"I am extremely self conscious about it because I've had people make nasty comments to me while feeding my baby in a restaurant (and elsewhere). If my baby gets hungry, I don't give a f**k about anyone else. I will always feed my hungry baby no matter what, no matter where."
"I even wear specific nursing tops so no boob is visibly exposed. For this reason, and the fact that the baby gets hot and uncomfortable (Summer in the South, fun!), I also refuse to cover with a blanket. However, I always feel judged and frowned upon for doing so. It's just hard not to."
be clean...Sick Black And White GIF by Fleischer StudiosGiphy
"Breastfeeding = fine. Not washing your hands in the bathrooms? Not cool."
"If we look at high fashion we see women with stickers covering their breasts. In high street fashion it is acceptable to expose any part of the breast as cleavage, sideboob, underboob. Basically the only part of the woman's breast we've censored is the nipple, which I find especially odd given that's the bit men have as well. Regardless, in this case the baby's mouth covers the nipple so the breast on display isn't anything out of the norm really, and even if the nipple were out, get over it."
It is what it is. Be free ladies. Whatever keeps the kid quiet, works for most of us. Do as you need.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
"Sisters are doing it for themselves." Y'all remember that song? One of the last century's best female empowerment anthems. How can you top Annie Lenox and Aretha? You can't, so you just bask in the glow. Sisters got it all under control.
But even though women are highly capable of anything, there are certain actions and everyday moments that just come a little easier. Sometimes women are just more in tune, or are built better for a certain situation. Let's discuss.
A Redditor who recently deleted their account left the interwebs with a question for the ladies, by asking:
What is easier to do if you're a woman?
I've always found women to be better actors right off the bat. I believe it's because women are less afraid to tap into emotion. And that can be because society said it was ok for them to do it from birth.
Hips Don't LieShakira Hips GIF by Latin GRAMMYsGiphy
"Carry anything on your hip."
"Survive the NICU -- apparently girls do much better in the NICU than boys do and tend to have less health complications. We heard that time and time again as parents to a 29 weeker girl. Quick source (but there are others): https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/04/150428151510.htm"
"I remember reading a while back that it is because girls have the equivalent of an extra week of development because they don't need to develop boy bits. I'm 25 week white/hispanic boy who survived the NICU in 1990. They were very very shocked."
"When I was babysitting once and me, the girl (7) and the boy (5) were playing in the street and a women came up and tried to take the kids away from me, asking all sorts of questions about who I was and if they were okay, she even asked if I was hurting them. She then tried to physically take them away from me. I imagine that wouldn't happen if there was a women looking after them."
"Physical contact? If I feel like it if I need a hug, I can just cuddle with my girlfriends. I don't think its' that easy for guys."
"Just specifically with girls though. I seem to make easier friends with guys and want to hug them but feel like it will get weird (as it has in the past). It makes me sad. Like, I love you, man and I want to hug you when I feel like it (not just when you're super sad and it's obviously a non-sexual hug)."
public cleaningjoel mchale baby GIFGiphy
"Changing babies in public. Many men's rooms do not have baby changing stations."
I need better hips. And women can keep babies and all the mess that comes with them. Physical contact, why are men so adverse to it? So much therapy here to chat about.
No QuestionsHelping Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy
"Help a child without suspicion or judgement."
In the Air
"Apparently women fighter pilots handle g-forces better than men, mainly due to being shorter and their heart not having to work so hard to pump blood to their brains (short men also handle g-forces easier for the same reason)."
"Yep. As a tall guy (6'4"), g forces mess with me big time. In fact, 2 weeks ago i passed out on an especially intense roller coaster. My wife, who was sitting next to me for the ride cackled with laughter when we saw the on ride picture and i was out like a light."
Will you tell her?"
"Compliment any complete stranger. As a dude, I have to very careful complimenting strangers. I will actually tell my wife, "check her hair out, it's super cool. Will you tell her?" And she will, and it made that stranger's day. Just wish I could do that more often without being seen as creepy. This especially applies to children. It's a big no-no for a 41 year old guy to compliment a child saying they look super pretty. Woman - no issue."
"Since the majority of posts here are sexual, I'll bite: sales. Seriously females salespeople are on average much more successful than their male counterparts. In my industry (industrial sales), it's an open understanding that our typical sales contact (older middle-aged male) is much more interested in talking to females than males. Huge sales buff if you are young AND at least a little attractive."
"If you are a hard working, quick witted and social young female looking for a high paying job without education requirements, I would strongly encourage you to look into B2B sales. All of the technical knowledge you can learn on the job."
Man's Workwonder woman GIFGiphy
"Have someone help you with mechanical/electrical/car work. So many people believe men just know how to do that stuff and will look down on guys who don't. As a woman, people assume I don't know what I'm doing with that kind of stuff. Sexist, but helps me, I guess."
The ladies got it going on. That's why I always think of my mom as a hero. There are just somethings men are never going to measure up to. That's ok, talent is meant to be dispersed.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Yeah, the fact that the phrase "the fairer sex" even exists is evidence enough that we need to have a little sit-down. So look, I'm not sure who started this lie - but women are VERY capable of some grossness.
Very. You don't even want to know. Honestly, we can be horrific.
But the idea that women are somehow inherently delicate, lovely, kind, and gentle isn't the only misconception out there.
Reddit user BOBO24PLAYZ asked:
So first we are going to get the obvious stuff out of the way. Not all women menstruate or have vaginas, but genitals is almost always going to be the first thing asked about when a Reddit user poses a question like this.
When it comes to vulvas, vaginas, urethras, and menstruation it's seriously BAFFLING how much misinformation is floating around out there.
So let's just go on ahead and knock some stuff out right now.
A Cave Systemcave GIFGiphy
"That we pee and bleed from the same hole." - Scared_Gap5717
"I remember I said there were two different holes in 7th grade and I got roasted. 'It's not a cave system!' and was branded an idiot for the rest of middle school. I am in medical school now oddly enough." - toomuchredditmaj
"There are men who think we urinate and menstruate from the same hole. That is why they think we can control our periods the way we control peeing, I assume." - moffsoi
"My fav part of that myth is the implication that women are simply being stupid or intentionally difficult by choosing not to hold their periods in until the most opportune time."
"As if we have the ability but are going 'ehh, I could wait until I get home but f*ck it, imma change a tampon in a public restroom just for the thrill of it. Really feel like ruining a pair of pants today while I'm at it.' " - Much_Difference
"I don't like how the idea we can hold it implies that we're literal infants who just pee ourselves all the time for fun." - BuckyBear1917
Vagina Ringsdefeat GIFGiphy
"That you can tell how much sex a woman has had by looking at her genitals. No you can't." - [Reddit]
"Correct. You have to cut the vagina in half and count the rings." - ThisIsMyCouchAccount
"That's to check for age. For use you have to check the tiny odometer." - DudesworthMannington
A Freshness SealGiphy
"That one bleeds the first time they have sex. If they didn't 'bleed' they were not really a virgin."
"FALSE! Raise your hand if you did NOT BLEED!? I raising mine! 🙋♀️" - cathef
"Thisssss. I didn't ever bleed or tear my hymen until I gave birth lol. It's just a stretchy piece of skin at the bottom of the vagina, not a freshness seal" - cbrpxe
What's The Difference?Season 5 Whats The Difference GIF by Living SingleGiphy
"That we get 'loose' when we have multiple partners."
"I think it's ridiculous that majority of the guys I've met that say this don't also think that those same women get 'loose' when they've been with one man for several years." - OK-Witness8418
"I've met girls who thought this to be true and were afraid to have sex because of it!"
"Granted, they were quite young, but that's how strong the myth is. The 'mind blown' moment when these people are asked what exactly is the difference between 50 times with one man and one time with 50 men has always been pretty amusing though." - narwhals-narwhals
Born With(out) ItHappy Adam Scott GIF by SkyGiphy
"That every woman is born with a hymen. Or that if she doesn't have a hymen then she isn't a virgin."
"Hymens can break really easily, such as sitting on a bike or horse wrong, exercise, (sometimes but highly unlikely) using a tampon if inserted incorrectly. And many women are just born without a hymen." - TheShining02
"That pregnancy is no big deal because it's 'natural'."
"It's metal that the human body can go through that kind of stress, but it is still totally physically traumatic. It's why women have a higher rate of osteoporosis-- fetuses literally leach the calcium from their mother's bones."
"Women often herniate their uteruses after pregnancy and just have to 'deal' with not being able to pee properly or have sex pain-free because it's seen as totally normal." - facingnortheast
OK that's enough about genitalia for now. Women are way more than just that.
Spoiler alert, women are human!
Solving A Problem
"We're not a Problem to Be Solved."
"If you want to date a woman and she is resistant, you will not solve that. No matter how many rom-com movies you watch where a man spends 90 minutes of your time annoying the woman he is interested in and gets her."
"This does not happen in real life. Move on. Find someone who is more likely to reciprocate your affections."
"Source: was stalked by someone, which stopped when I told him that if he showed up, I'd push him down the front steps so grow up already." - VapoursAndSpleen
People Explain Which Conspiracy Theories They Believe Are 100% True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
What I Really, Really Wantwannabe GIF by Spice GirlsGiphy
"That we are a mystery. I am sick of telling people exactly what I want and hearing, 'well, yeah but what do you really want?' "
"I am not lying or playing games. You know what women want? To be treated like human being with respect like anyone else!" - ViperBunny
"Wow, so deep. I wish I could know what you really want, though." - Imomaway
EmotionsGIF by reactionseditorGiphy
"Women are "more emotional"....ever see a man watch sports or get told he's wrong about something?" - Rizarice
"Men are emotional too but the sh*tty part is that the only emotion they have been taught to process or have been encouraged to process are anger and lust." - bubbly-region
"Men are so much worse at handling their emotions. I assume this is because they are taught they don't have any, and thus don't recognize their many (many!) emotional outbursts." - thediplocrap
Lesbiansmonsters inc GIFGiphy
"That Lesbians 'just haven't had the right penis yet.' "
"Sirs, I regret to inform you: there is no magic penis out there that will change our sexuality. I know you love the little fellas and think they're magical, but for us Lesbians? I swear to you, they are not, nor will they ever be magic."
"In the wise words of Mike Wizowski: 'Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.' " - RelentlesslyCrooked
Not MeOh No Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"That we are more emotionally intelligent and intuitive than men."
"I am definitely not empathetic and don't like dealing with emotional people, I'm mostly just socially awkward and not particularly mothering or kind."
"Seems like the assumption is that women want to baby men. Not me lol" - counterboud
A Recipe For Broken AdultsLunch Box Cooking GIF by KiddyPlanetGiphy
"girls are more mature"
"No, girls are just punished much more severely than boys are for behavior that all children exhibit. Boys only seem less mature because we do not demand maturity from them at a young age like we do from girls."
"Girls are forced to suppress being human and boys are forced to suppress emotions other than anger. It's a recipe for broken adults." - BanditaIncognita
IndirectGame Of Thrones Ugh GIFGiphy
"That all women are 'indirect communicators.' "
"I'm not saying they can't be, I'm not even saying the majority don't fall under this category, but personally, indirect communication goes right over my head. It's frustrating because I don't assume people can read my mind, why should I be able to read theirs?"
"I feel like when people assume I communicate indirectly just because I'm a girl, it leads to them not listening to what I'm saying, instead they try to dissect and analyze what I'm 'really' trying to say."
"Also men are just as capable of being passive aggressive."
"I live with a man and he constantly thinks I'm trying to send subtle messages and I've had to sit him down and explain that if I'm upset about something I will tell him. He on the other hand will slam doors, stomp around the house, give me the silent treatment, say nothing is wrong only to snap at me over something small (I'm making him sound awful but he's actually a pretty great person lol.)" - Reddit
StereotypesArt Fun GIF by KAKTUZBOYGiphy
"That we are sh*t at directions. I never get lost and my husband couldn't find his way out of a shed."
"Also that we are sh*t at math. I live in Asia and the idea that women aren't good at math doesn't really exist here, so surprise surprise the girls perform on a equal level to the boys in high school in most Asian nations."
"Stereotypes are self-reinforcing, and dangerous. Even the people who are harmed by them can come to believe them and lose confidence in themselves." - practical_ghost
Perfectionperfect natalie portman GIFGiphy
"Women are perfect all the time."
"I don't like it when people hold women to a higher standard than men. We're all just people trying to do our best and I'm sick of people expecting perfection from me just because I'm a woman."
"Everyone expects me to be smiling all the time; and when I'm direct at work, I'm called a b*tch."
"Women politicians are criticized for the smallest mistakes, women in all professions are. People expect so much and sometimes I have nothing to give. I'm burnt out." - Adorable_Island_1798
Dude ... and Ladyfedora GIFGiphy
"That we all think and feel the same!"
"I had a manager who refused to call me dude, because his girlfriend didn't like to be called dude. I'm not your girlfriend, bro!"
"He would not listen to me when I said it was okay. I even told him I prefer it."
"Instead, he legit called me 'lady.' It would be like 'Hey dudes. Oh! And lady.' "
"Made me feel like I was different, and not a part of the team. Just call me dude!" - QueenOfAYogaBall
Normally, I would end this on a witty note - but I don't have much more to add on top of "women are human!"
So yeah, whatever "all women..." thing you have in your head, go on ahead and forget it. All women nothing. Treat us as individuals please and thanks!
We've all heard of toxic masculinity. You know, that thing where men don't want to do anything remotely feminine, like wear pink, or wash their a**holes in the shower because they think it's “gay"? Yeah, that thing. It sucks, but sometimes it's important to remember that people of all genders can be toxic AF too.
Let's talk about toxic femininity, shall we? VysX_ asked:
There's toxic masculinity but what are examples of toxic femininity?
For some reason, toxic femininity gets really, REALLY prevalent when they become moms. It’s weird and kinda creepy, if you ask me.
Why does Little League bring out the worst in people?
“Mothers who treat other people like crap and then justify it by saying they're a mama bear."
“A few years ago my son's team was playing a little league game against another team. We had a very good team that year and the other team was really struggling. Despite this, it was a close game going into the 5th (i.e. next-to-last) inning.
Well, we're batting and the wheels finally come off for the opposition. A kid on our team gets a simple hit to the outfield and the other team proceeds to go full tee-ball and throw it all over creation. What should have been a single turns into a 3-run HR.
As the batter crosses home plate, fans are going nuts, players are going nuts, everyone is going nuts, and the star player on the losing team just melts down. He picks up the ball and throws it as hard as he can right at our dug out. There's a safety fence of course, so no one gets hurt, but it was still very much an "Oh, snap" moment for everyone.
At this point, the ump turns to the losing coach and says, "Coach, you need to get a hold of your player." That's it. That's all he said. He didn't say anything to the player; he didn't kick him out of the game; he just gave the coach a direct warning.
Next thing I hear is "DONT YOU TALK TO MY BABY THAT WAY" as the dug-out mom comes firing out of the other dug-out, heading straight for the ump. Fortunately for everyone, the head coach comes out of nowhere to intercept her. He proceeds to restrain her and walk her (and the player) away. The whole game stops for ~5 minutes while those three basically have a group hug in the middle of the infield.
Fortunately, that was the end of the drama. I still give major props to that other coach for somehow diffusing that situation without getting the police involved. But I will never understand what was going through that lady's mind."
We can all do “womaning” differently.Wendy Conrad GIF by Your Happy WorkplaceGiphy
“To me it would mean women who bag on other women for womaning differently than they do.
This becomes really toxic after childbirth. Some women will feel nothing about letting you know how you are parenting wrong by using this product or letting you child do this particular thing.
Women who are able to stay at home will be made to feel guilty for not helping to provide; and women who work are made to feel guilty for abandoning their child.
I wish women were more understanding about dealing with differences and letting things slide a bit more. You should never feel higher after putting someone else down.
That being said, I don't know how we did it, but I found the world's greatest group of moms when my son was a year and a half old. We came from all walks of life and supported the ever-loving hell out of each other. This was in Phoenix late 90's and we were completely tight until I moved away when my son was 5. I miss all of em."
They should know better than to tear down other women.
“It's very common for mothers or female relatives to be some of the first ones to comment on a woman's weight, appearance, or personal style/fashion choices, as well as reinforcing a sense of self-hatred (i.e. "I look so fat in this outfit, and you look so ugly in that color"), all while tearing other women down ("I can't believe she's wearing that, doesn't she know how she looks??").
When you have that reinforcement that it's normal to say things like that, because if your mom does it then it's okay to do it too, then you just treat it as normal. And because it's so common, you find other women to do it with and it just becomes a cycle. If you try to break it, then you're labeled as sensitive, a bore, and "Oh my god we're just having fun, chill out, it's not that serious."
I still remember the first time I called my mom on talking sh*t about a woman wearing something she didn't like, and she got so f*cking mad at me."
Let’s dive into the tearing down other women thing some more. We as a society need a wake-up call.
It’s like high school all over again.
"Some women are so judgemental about other women, particularly when it comes to looks or fashion.
Also the women who seem to enjoy forming cliques and cutting out anyone they deem to be an outsider.
Worked with an office full of them once. It really sucked!"
“When I first got out of grad school, my first (and as it turns out, only) teaching job was long-term substituting for a friend while she went on maternity leave. The kids/classroom were mine for the first half of the school year, but we coordinated so that things would be pretty smooth transitioning back to my friend teaching at the end of her leave.
My friend was part of a two-teacher team who ran the 8th grade Student Council. I told the other teacher that I would be happy to help her with the club in my friend's absence, but she insisted she didn't need my help. She then proceeded to 100% ignore me and treat me as if I was invisible during all future interactions. 8th-grade team meetings, if I said even a single word, she shot me side eye, even though what I had said was not at all related to her; just a kind of "you're not a real teacher, how dare you speak?" vibe she was giving off.
My last day, my friend came in after school to put her classroom stuff up as I took my own down. The other teacher and two other women (the PE coach who I'd never talked to and another teacher, I don't remember) came in to help her, but none of the three of them offered to help me take any of my own things down or pack any of it up. They also said things like, "Is this yours or hers?" to my friend, even though I was standing right f*cking there. They also gushed about how excited they were that she was back; again, right in front of me.
After I was finally done putting away all my things--again, by myself--I just left without a word. I texted my friend about it later, and she apologized for her other friends' behavior but just excused it as, "Yeah, they're definitely the 'Mean Girls' types".
I was just floored. These were TEACHERS. You know, the people who are supposed to teach children NOT to bully other people? And I had never been anything but nice to everyone I met during my time there, but they didn't care. I wasn't part of their group, so I wasn't worth their time.
It became one of a laundry list of reasons I decided I didn't actually want to be a teacher for a living, after all.
tl;dr - personally experienced cliquey adult women in the education field, of all places. It sucked.”
The Best 'Actually, You're Speaking To The Boss' Experience | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
“My ex-husband and I separated when our child was 2. Went to a birthday party for daughter's friend and was having a casual conversation with one of the husbands. The group of women stood in a corner staring at me, and the wife came up and grabbed him by the arm and started doing that strange possessive peacock dance.
What were we talking about? Real estate prices."
“No joke, I had a professor I was close with because we were both single moms and she gave me the advice to wear a wedding band even without a man and that the other moms would chill out a bit. It worked and my daughter started getting more opportunities for playdates. It's really demoralizing."
I think we all need to learn how to be more forgiving.
Toxic office culture is the literal worst.come together love and hip hop GIF by VH1Giphy
“The sheer terrifying glee they have at tearing down someone who's made a mistake or is somehow lacking in their eyes. I worked at a doctor's office with a fifty person staff, forty five of which were women. Like they were so fake and catty and just outright hateful to each other. It was a toxic office culture."
“Did they also have a compulsive, competitive need to please the male figures in the department? I go weekly to a fairly small medical department where the head doctor is male and the majority of nurses and admin are female. They treat him like an absolute God and defer to him with everything. He's a huge d*ck and of course, has a big ego by now."
This girl isn't just toxic--she's a monster.
“A girl in the grade below me (I'm a senior in high school at this point) passed away unexpectedly due to sepsis. Our whole city was in shock as the girl was in the school just days before her passing.
I remember I met up with my gf at the time and she asked, "Why do so many people care about her dying? It's not like she was pretty anyways."
This was the type of girl that says, "What??!! I am SOOO nice."
Safe to say, the lord blessed me with a brain and I GTFO of that relationship.
To this day, she is still in contact with me & recently she complained that guys use her & she can't figure out why nobody will be with her.
Well, honey, I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure that one out.
Edit: Some of you have said that I should tell her and I did. Apparently, she would "literally never say that about her" and also apparently "I know nothing about her." (My ex. Dated for 4 years. Know nothing)"
This is how eating disorders start.
“Probably the culture around eating.
When I was 17-18, a few friends kept saying how much more attractive I'd be if I lost weight, how that's why most guys weren't into me, how I'd regret not being skinny in college, etc. My BMI was slightly under 25, so I wasn't overweight, but I was close to it, especially compared to them.
So I basically became anorexic from 18-20 just because the feedback was like a high. I recovered, but not enough to make my mom and others happy, even though my BMI was 22-23. This continued for years between friends and family, and it was exhausting cycling between being too skinny or not average enough.
That's really the only strong example I can think of. No matter the trendy body shape, the criticism from others will always continue. I've only had one guy ever comment on my weight compared to the many, many women, even strangers.”
As a woman myself, I’ve encountered plenty of toxic femininity in my life. It’s almost as terrible as the objectifying sh*t I hear men saying about women all the time. We have to be rid of cattiness and tearing other women down.
Remember what we actually need to be working against. So much sexism exists in the world, and we have to stick together.
There's an old saying that describes women as a mystery; however, today we're going to crack the case…well, at least a little bit. This thread allowed men to ask the questions they've always wondered about in a safe, informative zone. This can be difficult in face-to-face conversations where personal or private questioning is not always appropriate.
Have you ever wondered what women really do at sleepovers? What do they think of your flirting? Or the truth behind "size doesn't matter" but could never really ask? Then this one is for you. We've lined up some of the most common questions that people don't dare ask from one Redditor's bold question.
Redditor _somename_ asked:
"Men, what are some questions you've always wanted to ask women, but were too embarrassed?"
The responses from the women of Reddit were helpful and matter of fact even when it came to some would-be awkward questions.
“How are most of you not bald? I swear I can make a muppet with the amount of hair my partner and female friends seamlessly dump all over the house. Why the h*ll am I pulling a 2 ft long hair out of my a**crack lmao” RealFlyForARyGuy
“Women's hair thins with age, too, and some do actually experience a degree of baldness. More woman than you realize are wearing toppers, extensions, or wigs.“
“Women losing their hair is way, way, WAY less socially acceptable than men losing theirs, so those who suffer from hair loss tend ito go to great lengths hide it, in a similar way to how we are so secretive about how much hair grows everywhere else on our bodies.” AccessibleBeige
Flirting vs. being nice?
“How do I differentiate between a woman flirting with me and just complementing me?" Issac_-
“Compliments aren't stretched out for long periods of time unless you're in a relationship. People usually give 1 or 2 compliments then continue the conversation. While flirting will be part of most of the conversation." Blake-Bell
“If she's at work, just assume she's not flirting. She might be, but it's way more likely that she's not and it's just too messy and awkward. So don't hit on baristas or bartenders or cashiers." Mehhhhhhhjay
Yes, please, just shave it!
“Not embarrassed to ask this but since women are giving their honest opinions, how do y'all feel about being attracted to guys who are balding/bald at a young age (20-25)? Does it make a big difference to you?” arixrdc
“Personal opinion, shaving it off is way hotter than going for the prince William look of pretending like it's not happening. Just shave it. If you are able to, grow some facial hair, that balances out the shaved head. But it's not important.” Hoppinginpuddles
Conversation skills don’t always come naturally…
“How should I approach/ meet people? I'm really shy and bad at conversing and genuinely believe I'm probably going to end up alone since I'm 30 and can't talk to people like an adult.” Panicradar
“So there are a few things that I want to touch on here. One, if you are approaching a strange woman in public that you're romantically interested in, you need to tread very carefully. Women are socially conditioned to be polite even when we feel uncomfortable/threatened.”
“So if you are going to try, you need to be very aware of leaving ways for her to exit the conversation (both socially/verbally and physically--a lot of guys I know unwittingly block exits because they don't realize how big they look/don't have to constantly worry about safety like that).”
“Beyond that, practice. I once went without answering ‘good’ or ‘fine’ to ‘how are you’ for a few weeks as a challenge. Even just switching to something like ‘It's almost the weekend’ or ‘I can't wait for spring’ and a smile to the checker at the grocery store gets a much more warm and genuine response back.”
“They'd tell me about how they heard the weather would warm up soon or tell me if it was almost the end of their shift. I didn't form any deep relationships with them or anything, but it gave me the confidence to at least try to talk to people in other areas of my life.” tonightbeyoncerides
The question most men want to know…
“Does penis size actually matter to y'all?” DefectiveJay
“It's like boob size. A vocal minority cares a lot, the rest is just happy with what is there.” Allegutennamenweg
Different ways to support…
“How do I support you in public if I'm anxious and nonconfrontational? If someone's being kinda creepy I may not feel confident enough to speak up... what is the next best thing to do?" SeatDisastrous2262
“Get us out of the situation quickly and safely. You don't have to fight someone to show us that you want to keep us safe. Support us by helping us get to safety and be open to talking about it after." OIWantKenobi
Someting to never ask irl...
“Do periods stink?” OrdinaryBallowski2
“The metallic smell is the iron from your body. You are shedding so much blood and loosing that iron. That's why some people tend to get super thirsty/dry mouth, chew ice, or get light headed while on their period.” jadapotatoe
People Share The Craziest Lies They've Told That Came True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
FYI, its like carrying a bowling ball in your groin that kicks and makes you puke…
“How do pregnancies feel? is it like carrying a backpack on the chest? is the baby pulling down? does it block ways of sitting?” SlimeCrafterLP
“This can vary among women and which stage of pregnancy they are in. At first, you might not feel anything or your pelvis might feel really tender and kind of bloated. At a certain point you can start to feel movement inside.”
“When the baby is small and has space to move around it might feel like a flutter. After the baby is bigger and space in the uterus decreases it can feel like getting poked and prodded from the inside. This can make the pregnant woman feel happy and reassured but also sometimes uncomfortable.”
“Sometimes the baby will kick you in the ribs or push into your back. You could compare it to carrying a backpack but imagine that the back pack is inside your body.”
“After a certain point it does feel like the baby is pulling down on your body especially if the belly sticks out a lot. Being pregnant can make different physical positions uncomfortable but again, it depends on the person and the stage of pregnancy.” JstVisitingThsPlanet
“Are women's bathrooms really cleaner than men's? I've heard that they just get cleaned more often.” ChronoLegion2
“It depends! I've used men's public restrooms before in a pinch, and I find it's usually just different kinds of messy. Women's restrooms would have the occasional blood stains or hygiene product that isn't properly disposed of, and men's restrooms would be more likely to have feces where it didn't belong. Plus, sticky floors? Especially near the urinals.”
“You're definitely right about the cleanliness thing! I find it more common with women to be concerned about dirt or grime, with more leeway being given to regular clutter (clothes on the floor, books scattered around, etc). My dad and brothers both seem pretty blind to nasty messes.”
“They'll leave used plates and bowls or cups in their rooms for days, let their trash cans pile up with god knows what, and I've seen them wipe their runny noses on their clothes way too much.” Lilac_Summers
“…get smashed and order stupid amounts of food…"
“What do you actually do at sleepovers?” yrrrrrrrr
“Talk about guys and gals we think are cute, watch movies (usually Disney or horror), listen to music, play video games (Mario kart, Mario party, super smash bros, just dance, etc), take over the kitchen to bake at 3am, dance around in our pajamas, try out ridiculous or extravagant makeup looks, and occasionally play dress up, too! and depending on our age, get f**kin smashed and order stupid amounts of food lmao.” Lilac_Summers
Period planning 101
“How do you plan around periods? Do you have a calendar for when you're due and put protective measures around that time? Do you just wear something all the time? Or do you bleed on your underwear on a regular basis?” Alyeanna
“I have a calendar and know when it's coming +- 2 days. It does not come like BOOM a lot of blood, usually it starts with a few little drops I notice when whiping after peeing and then I know i should probably put my cup in in a few hours.” Rayancanmore
No, no it does not…
“Always heard some women say ‘wasn't able to walk after sex’ does that mean the guy was good/ideal?” Bbclive123
“Not necessarily, sometimes guys go overboard and are pretty thrust happy and that doesn't always mean that it was pleasurable.” MarieLouise01
“women feel pressured to make men happy even if we aren't interested.”
“What's better? - A guy asking your cell number. - A guy giving his number and saying ‘I had a good time with you and would like to message/call/see you again. Here's my number, text me if you like’.” Somnscipios
“The second one for sure. Sometimes women feel pressured to make men happy even if we aren't interested. The second one is thoughtful and conscientious, and if I was still dating I would personally be more inclined to reach out if a guy offered me the second option.” OlWantKenobi
Hints she might like you bro…
“What hints do girls give when they are interested?” shanidar1
“Here's my personal signs that I'm into a guy! I make and maintain eye contact with him more, I'm more likely to touch him casually (on the arms, shoulders, do the whole ‘you have something on your face/in your hair, can I get it?’ routine, stuff like that!), my body language is more ‘open’ and relaxed, and I tend to face him with my whole body!”
“Not just with my face, unless, y'know, I'm not physically able to face him with my whole body. Plus, I'll make comments on his physical appearance! ‘Wow, your hair looks different today! Did you put something in it?’ or ‘That shirt looks really good on you! You should wear it more often.’”
“Stuff like that! I try and really listen to what he says, and try to remember stuff he likes or is interested in! Back when I worked retail, I was always baking stuff and trying out new recipes on my coworkers. If I had a crush on a guy, he'd be one of the first people I'd bring something to.”
“Or if it was something I'd made before that I knew he'd like, I'd save him a couple extra and give them to him personally, instead of just letting him find a tray of cookies in the break room. That last one is really specific to me though because not everyone is super into baking like I am!” Lilac_summers
Different sex drives…
“Are women as horny as men are?” Intelligent _Maize_71
“Women want sex just as much as men do, but we do not get turned on the same way. Emotional intimacy and safety ignites interest a lot more than straight up propositions. Women are often objectified, and straightforward propositions are often a turn off.”
“Women who are openly sexual are slutshamed, and receive more unwanted propositions. It's just easier to save all of that excitement for the bedroom.” VansChar_
For real, avoid the tangents…
“So what would be the best way to bring a girl into the stuff you like: hobbies, favorite shows, movies, etc. etc. I'll gladly admit that I'm an über nerd that gets excitable over the stuff I like. When I get on topic I can get going on several tangents that I'm just blazing through cause I just LOVE this stuff that I'm talking about.”
“Unfortunately I've seen it happen all too often where eyes glaze over and you just get the polite ‘Yeah!’ and ‘Mmhm!’ with a nod here and there. It kind of makes just not want to share. So what's the way to try and bring you in enough to where maybe we can actually talk about it rather than me just talking at you.” Qant00AT
“First of all you can't really make someone like something. You can try to introduce it little by little, maybe find some aspects of it that you know will interest her. It's desirable to be passionate about something but DO NOT talk for hours about it if you see she's bored. Also show some interest in her own hobbies.” mmmaja_s
It is individual choice…
“Do you feel makeup is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy? Like wearing foundation to remedy your complexion, it messes up your complexion, then you have to wear more? I've always felt men have better skin…sometimes.” Jocfrost
“I agree. Plus you wear makeup to ‘fix’ your complexion, then you only feel pretty when you're spending so much time and makeup to look a certain way. I want to wear makeup because I think the designs are pretty, but I'm waiting until I'm genuinely happy with the way I look so I don't depend on makeup for self confidence.” Strong-Second-2446
Online dating can be rough…
“When you put on your dating profile "don't just say 'hey' or 'how are you'" then what do you want is to open with?” RetailDrone7576
“Well, I always like it when a guy opens with something that shows he read my profile! Maybe a reference to some of my listed hobbies? Questions about my schooling? Something casual, not like interview style questions.” Lilac_summers
Consent before touch is sexy j/s…
“Should I ask or should I just go in for the kiss? I feel like I'm good at reading the situation but I always ask first because I'm not brave enough to just go in for it.” thatguy2650
“It is completely okay to ask! I've had guys ask me before and I always think it is so nice of them to ask for consent before, especially because I've had guys not ask and me not want to be kissed. So asking before especially if it were like a first or second date is very refreshing.” cheetosgoldenhoney
They can seriously hurt…
“How painful are periods actually. I have had a girl tell me it feels like every bone is being broken which no offense if it's true but I think that's an over exaggeration. So how painful is it really.” Iamultraweeb
“They can be extraordinarily painful, especially if you have a condition called endometriosis. It can literally feel like you're being gutted with a knife. Sometimes it's just a dull ache.”
“The thing about period cramps is that they can spread to your back/kidney area, and medications don't work for everyone. Plus we have to continue on with our day while being hormonal and uncomfortable and in pain and bleeding.”
“It's a big suck all around. And, a lot of women experience diarrhea while on their period so that's super fun too. Birth control can help with period pain, but for some women it's horrendous and for others it is manageable.” OlWantKenobi
Some of these questions wouldn't exactly be appropriate in the real world so we're glad we got to get answers here.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.