I have a mirror. Thanks. 

I went to get an earache checked and the first thing the doctor said was "Yeah so I'm gonna put you on some medicine for the ear but we've gotta do something about your face, your acne is absolutely terrible."

Thanks doc. CasenW

Lead with truth. Lives depend on it! 

Getting out of the army- you are 100% healthy. My medical record was about six inches thick. Went to a civilian doctor and they were astonished anyone would say that. I am rated 80% disabled. larrycorser

My mother and grandfather were both injured in the army. They will do everything in their power to claim that you are healthy, because if you are injured they pay your medical bills for life.

They tried to tell Grandpa that losing all of his teeth and having a crack down his forehead did not qualify him for a purple heart.

Insert cringy surprise at how this blew up here. Story: Grandpa was in a tank, and a tank shell bounced off his turret and slammed his head into the other side of the turret. The reason they did not want to recognize his injuries is because he pulled the teeth out himself (they were loose) and refused treatment on the skull fracture. AntifaAreFascists

Can you hear me Now?

When I was 16 and dealing with partial deafness: "Sometimes being a teenage girl is hard, but it's hard to parent them too so there's no need to exaggerate things to make things harder for your parents. Knock it off, there's nothing wrong with you."

Two tumors, 9 surgeries, and a CSF leak later, yes doctor. There really was something wrong. ur_tears_r_tasty

Shake it Off! 

You can't be in that much pain. You must have more energy than that. Turns out the lining of my nerves was being destroyed. I was becoming paralyzed, painfully. whyamisoawesome9

MS? My wife was finally diagnosed with that. Took several years and several Drs. If it is MS, or really anything else, then I hope whatever medication you're able to get helps prevent any further progression - best of luck and best wishes! IchthysdeKilt

Let's talk about your ears?! 

"It's all between your ears" after missing at least one, but probably two crippling vitamin deficiencies by not ordering the right test. It took me two and a half years of thinking I was lazy and pathetic before I went to another doctor and got diagnosed. Zoefschildpad

But you're so young! 

"I just don't know how you could be in so much pain being so young, I'm not going to be able to write you a prescription."

My response was, "You're a dips**t; I came in because I was hurt at work, doing heavy construction." I never asked for a prescription in the first place, I had assumed I was vetting an xray to see if I had broken anything. Lord_Stag

Walking is the Elixir!

You have no idea! I was in an auto accident when I was 14 but the doctors refused to do surgery to fix the issue because I was still growing. A few years later everything acted up and I ended up desperately needing that surgery. Afterwards I still had significant pain because my nerves were all screwed up because the issue had been left for so long. Every doctor I saw about it told me to "walk it off" and refused to give me any pain medication just because I was 19 at the time. I tried other stuff for a few years until finally, at 23, finding a doctor who took me seriously. IcedMercury

Bless you Miss Jeannie... 

Wasn't said to me, but someone I knew. I work at a hospital, so does my mother. We had a forty-three year old woman who had a very rare form of cancer that spread incredibly fast to just about everywhere in her body. From diagnosis to death was about twelve weeks. The medications and therapies and the general lack of mobility caused her to become swollen and obese. She was a terribly sweet lady.

They took her down to Radiology for a scan and the technician made a bunch of really mean comments about her weight because she was too large for our machines so they had to arrange for a transfer to another hospital for her scans and then have her transferred back. The technician thought that because Miss Jeannie was dying and sick that she was deaf or didn't understand English any longer, and so while they were alone she made so many mean comments. Miss Jeannie waited until she was back in her room waiting for her transfer before she started crying. I'll never understand people who feel the need to make others feel less than or badly. carmelacorleone

No Words...

No me but my mom is a nurse. One of her patients got shot in the foot holding a door closed in a school shooting. He was back in the hospital because he got an infection after surgery. Doc walks in and goes "so I hope you learned your lesson about playing with guns." anoll69

Size Matters! The End. 

I went to get a lump on my groin checked out, and had to remove my underpants. The doctor started a whole speech about "size isn't everything," which isn't what I went there for. stooble

Defibrillate this! 

Not psychologically hurtful necessarily, but the most terrifying thing I've ever been told...

"We're going to have to defibrillate you and we don't have time to sedate you."

They rolled the crash cart with paddles into my room and I said "Get that thing the hell away from me!" and almost cried. My mom was in the room with me and was absolutely hysterical.

Thankfully a cardiologist was able to look at my EKG in the nick of time and determined my heart rhythm was stable enough for me to just be transferred to a room for further evaluation without defibrillation. HorseMeatSandwich

Well you're no prize Sir.

When I was 21 I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor asks me to lift my shirt and I do. He immediately says "egh" and makes a look of disgust on his face. I was an idiot and was gaining weight too quickly, due to this I had stretch marks. I've lost the weight and am normal weight now but I still can't shake that moment. This was 8 years ago. Reddit

Don't strike a pose... 

I started going to a dentist that had come highly recommended by a few different people. When I asked him about the possibility of straightening my front teeth, he said "Well, you'll never be on the cover of Vogue, but I think we can help you out."

I stopped going to him a few appointments later when he got mad at me for telling him that the filling he did months ago still really hurt. Jollyville

Boys & Their Boobs... 

"What are you going to do if your boyfriend would rather you had bigger boobs?" - said by the doctor to 15 year old me. I was getting a consultation for a breast reduction, because sporting G-cup was a nightmare. Still got it. No regrets. thekeyboardhero

NO ice cream for you Miss.... 

Me, when I was nine, about to go under anesthesia for the first time ever for oral surgery, and being extremely scared.

Nurse: You need to grow up. I've had kids half your age not be as much a scaredy-cat as you.

My mother was not, by any means, a helicopter parent.. .but the thrashing she gave that nurse, the other nurse who chuckled at it, and the doctor who came in was insane. And then she took me out of that office (the surgery was not a time-sensitive thing, just to fix a soon to be impacted adult tooth) and for ice cream. I had the surgery done at a different office with a staff that had far better bed-side manners. WalkerBRiley

Well Death it is! 

Doc: "I can tell you're incredibly sick by your skin"

Me: (looks in the mirror) "oh no I always look like this"

Doc: "no it's grey and sallow and the heavy dark circles under your eyes; you look clearly very unwell"

Me: "really, I swear I aiways look like this without make up"

I really did look exactly how I do on a daily basis. Apparently deathly. BrassLabradors

Want a punch in the face?!

"You're 19, you shouldn't be having problems with anxiety!" MrSonicOSG

A Lack of Trust... 

What chronic illness are we sick with today?

I was 12 years old. Puberty was kicking my butt. I was depressed and constantly sick because my home life was in shambles. But my mother dressed nice and was a well known figure in the community, so I was faking the illnesses I guess. Anytime a kid acts out for attention, I pay attention because it means something is going on. But that doctor just shamed me into the pit of despair. I've had trouble trusting any medical professional since. americanskux

I am who I am....

New doctor took my height measurement and jots it down before issuing me a very casual.

"Huh, tall for a woman."

I am a bearded man. MrBitchin

How about I sit on you Doc? 

He said I should be happy carrying around a bit of weight.. Because in drought the fattest cows die last.... Seriously wtf. jezabelsoni

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