Being attractive is a universal desire for most people.
However, just like how every cloud has a silver lining, every blessing has a disadvantage.
What are the downsides to being hot?
These Redditors will reveal the truth to being attractive.
Redditor automaticsage asked:
"Good looking people of Reddit, what are some actual disadvantages you face because of your looks?"
Social moth.
Arrogance. Everybody thinks you're an arrogant f**k when you don't talk or make contact at a social gathering. It's simply because I want to chill and be reserved. Nothing to do with arrogance.
I'd say I'm a social butterfly but I'm really just a social moth.
Often not related.
GiphyThey assume I have a large penis too, they are often disappointed.
The Halo effect describes the phenomenon that when people notice positive attributes in one specific field they also assume them to exist in other fields. It's a cognitive bias.
Not the worst assumption.
People assume I'm gay when I'm with male friends.
People assumed I'm gay because I'm quiet lmao. But it was only a problem when I was in the US
The struggle.
Huge pressure to find a partner. I've been called cute by girls and women for years now, because of my colour and eye combination but I've never had a girlfriend. When people jokingly ask me how many girlfriends I've had, or how many hearts I've broken, I feel an insane amount of pressure because I've never had a girlfriend and I don't currently have one.
And if you're wondering, I've got green-blue eyes with a Mediterranean colouring.
Wooooow.
GiphyPeople seem to assume I'm (F) stupid or naive and need help. My favorite was when a cable guy drew a map of how he would run a cord from the 1st floor to the 2nd of my townhome. He even mimicked using a drill while making drill sounds with his mouth.
I have a PhD in mechanical engineering.
This got real.
People project a lot of their feelings onto you, they make a lot of assumptions.
If the haze wears off and I don't meet their made up standards for me, they get mad like I betrayed them.
To add to this, for me it becomes more of a problem with close friends. When we're at a bar on a Friday night and I'm sitting with my buddy who really likes this one girl in the bar and she comes to talk and its evident she's more into me than him.
I'm not really trying and I am barely interested in you an my friend here is cool, smart, funny and likes you can you please stop looking at my face and throw him a bone?
Who doesn't love Cheetos though?
As a guy, apparently I look a little too intimidating, if that makes sense. Like I look like the person who has their life figured out and doesn't take crap from people. In reality, I'm a socially awkward guy who loves nerdy facts and Cheetos.
I've been told my husband looks intimidating. And they think I look so sweet because I am usually smiling.
Funny thing is: he's a sweet ol' teddy bear. I'm the b*tch.
Reddit Users Share Their Best 'It's A Small World After All' Experience
Dating is tough enough.
GiphyIn dating life, people really expect a lot more from you when you're good lookin'.
They go off on your looks, and create an image in their heads of what you'd be like, before actually meeting you.
I hate it. I hate it. I f**king hate it! I struggle with self doubt so it hurts when I can't live up to some impossible image that they created of me in their heads. What are your options? Act inauthentically or watch them slowly lose interest? How do you even communicate this kind of discomfort?
I avoid dating.
Extrovert problems.
Any friendly conversation I have with a guy or just smiling (I am an extroverted person) is automatically considered flirting. The unrealistic expectations and assumption that I can easily find a relationship.
Guys, good guys especially, are intimidated by my looks too easily and just give up either because of insecurity or because they think I am high maintenance. Ugh!!!!
A surprising difficulty with women.
Until I met my wife I always had difficulty with women. Mainly back in high school, the girls that did want to go out with me were shallow and just wanted the status of having me as their boyfriend. Those were really bad relationships that never lasted long.
And then there were the girls I actually liked who weren't extremely popular and had trouble believing I had genuine interest in them. I admit that it didn't help that I had had a number of short relationships with the 'it' girls in school which gave the appearance to some that I was a player but that wasn't me on the inside.
It took moving cities before I finally managed to meet women who didn't have pre-conceived notions about me and would give me a chance based on merit rather than reputation. Even now, at 36 years of age, we get women who glare at my wife and I as we walk along holding hands or try to flirt with me in front of her. It is fun to shut them down by telling them about the kind of woman I like while simultaneously putting my arm around my wife though.
Babyface.
GiphyThat I am a kid. Like I am in high school and I have a huge babyface. I look like I'm 11. It now looks stupid since I am growing a beard.
Ugh, mansplaining.
I'm not amazing looking but I (F) have a certain quality about me. Not bad looking, cute, a bit of a goofy personality and physically quite clumsy, and oh so approachable and non threatening. Think Anne Hathaway playing a character in a film in the noughties.
I get a lot of unsolicited advice from men and find it hard to do anything in public without some arrogant b*stard sliding up and forcing a sh*tty laugh and explaining the correct way to do it. In my old job a guy even tried to show me how to mop a floor and I'm surprised there wasn't smoke coming from my ears.
That's annoying.
I get treated like my self esteem issues don't count because of my appearance. I had terrible self esteem throughout the majority of my teens which I've worked really hard to try and overcome, but I still feel uncomfortable even posting in this thread because of them. Thanks to a mixture of genetics and how I've been exercising regularly since I was like 8 years old (now 22), I'm both curvy and visibly fit (aside from cardio but I'm working on that) and as I've gotten older I've become more aware if the effect I can have on people, but when I try to express my insecurities I basically always get some sort of response along the lines of how I'm so pretty and so many people would kill to look how I do and I have the perfect body. Funnily enough, it never makes me feel better.
ETA: Thought of another one. People I'm friends with will just... tell me they had a crush on me/want to sleep with me fairly regularly, then just leave me with that information to deal with. I'm bi so I also get a double dose of it, and tbh it is kinda affecting how I act around friends, because I'm always a little on edge and hyperaware that they may only be friends with me because they want to hook up with me. I have had people straight up just stop talking to me as soon as they get into relationships, and it's always so hurtful when that happens because it seriously just feels like they were my friend because they wanted to f*ck me, and as soon as that stopped being an option I was dropped.
Jealousy is a disease.
GiphyI'm female. I "blossomed" when I was 19 and it was very difficult for me to deal with. It became impossible to make female friends during college for one. Women HATED me. They wouldn't want me around, wouldn't talk to me, would be extremely mean-spirited, make a point of excluding me socially, and I truly had no idea what was going on because I grew up awkward and never thought of myself as looking like anyone but...me. But overnight, my looks were getting a LOT of attention. It was very confusing and at times, extremely painful and hard for me to navigate. People were constantly commenting on my looks which made me embarrassed.
Sometimes women will want to be friends with me as a way to deal with their own insecurity issues to try to make themselves feel better (by putting me down and cutting me apart once we're "friends"). Or, people will feel better about themselves if they can be convinced you're stupid, so they'll try to make you out to be an idiot. Also, it generally seems to make people feel intimidated no matter how nice you are so they end up being cold / rude / generally weird toward you. Also, people will make your looks a topic of conversation which can be very embarrassing. Or say things like "you're so pretty, it's too bad you wear your hair this way...you don't dress up more..." etc.
I'm older now, and I get less attention than I used to, and for that, I'm grateful. My looks are nothing like they used to be and it's a relief. My husband says he sees people checking me out all the time, but I think either he's sweetly flattering me or I've just learned to ignore the looks. I really don't think I look that special (and I have my own insecurities as well), but people tell me all the time that I'm beautiful. It's nice sometimes, but I honestly wish I just had a pleasant, regularly attractive face that didn't get any sort of extra attention. For the few times I've enjoyed it, it's honestly been more of a distraction and prevented people from getting to really know me. That's the hardest part for me. The distance it causes people to keep from me.
Unless you're in the entertainment industry or modeling and making money from your looks (I tried that route and hated the whole thing), for me personally, it's been pretty much just a hassle.
This is infuriating.
I get sexually harassed every single day I leave my house. It's contributed to me having agoraphobia bouts and causes me a lot of stress and anxiety. I've tried dressing differently, not wearing makeup, not doing my hair but it doesn't matter. I feel wound up and on edge when I just want to be able to walk down the street without being yelled at or followed or even touched by strangers.
- Attractive People Divulge The One Thing They Feel Insecure About - George Takei ›
- People Describe Which Things Are Not As Attractive As People Think - George Takei ›
- People Break Down How Attractive They Believe They Are - George Takei ›
- Women Share The Biggest Downsides To Being Female - George Takei ›
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.