Oh boy.... you boys are a handful.
In this day and age looking for love or the perfect man can be an exhausting process that feels like a fate worse then death. Everyone is so focused on the usual checklist. Looks. Charm. Job. Money. Sensitive.... and the rest of the same ole. But really the key to some hearts, probably most, can be the unexpected know how that reaches outside the box. Being a good kisser is great (a must actually) but can you groom the dog? Can you dance a jig? Maybe its time to learn. Make fudge naked? Shall we discuss?
Redditor u/oohara wanted all the boys to gather round with a pen and pad and listen up for some important tips... it was asked.... Women of reddit, what are some (unexpected) skills that make men attractive for you?
Knowing Himself
chris evans chest GIF
Giphy
Does the ability to be self aware count? It's attractive when a guy owns his flaws rather than denying them or being hypocritical in an attempt to hide them.
Good Eats
Grocery shopping.
Not just the literal going to the store and putting things in the cart, but coming up with a meal plan for the week of a variety of well balanced meals and getting it all. The mental load is real y'all.
Meal plan is easy, make 1 healthy well balanced meal but make enough to last for 5 days. I'm eating a very nice Chicken Tikka Masala this week, next week will probably be a green curry because cucumbers are on sale and last week was spaghetti because I was feeling lazy.
The Good Hubby
My husband is constantly trying to grow as a human and be more understanding and compassionate and do better. And it's absolutely his sexiest quality. He's gregarious and a natural mediator and just takes the world straight-on with an open heart.
And I look at him every single night so crazy grateful that he's my husband. We've been married ten years in two weeks! Time flies man.
adorable....
shemar moore smile GIF
Giphy
This isn't really a skill, but I love it when men are able to genuinely and unashamedly express when they think something is cute. I feel like it's really common to see women squealing and getting really excited over, say, a puppy or a kitten or an adorable cartoon character, but men are kind of expected to not be affected by cuteness or not show it?
basic care
Being able to take care of someone who's under the weather. It's a role that falls to women in most families so a lot of guys don't get the chance to learn. I never realized how much I'd appreciate a man who could hold my hair out of my face while I puked, then kiss me when I felt better until it happened.
be grown....
Someone who can care for themselves. Take a shower, clean up your own mess. Caring for one another in a relationship is important but some guys mistake this for 'I need to find myself another mom.'
I know it says unexpected skills in the title but there are so many guys who don't seem to realize this. I just wanted to get it out there.
Generalities....
Baking, cooking, sewing (even just mending a button or hemming in clothing), and general housekeeping. Essentially having basic life skills that prove you are an adult able to fend for themselves and aren't looking for a second mother in a partner.
Also being able to intentionally move your tricep? (whatever muscle is connected to your upper arm near shoulder outwards facing side). That's impressive AF.
PLEASE!!!
harry styles juggling GIF by One Direction
Giphy
Please say juggling please say juggling please say juggling.
X
Numbers and Ratios....
Maths. Anything scientific. General broad knowledge and stone-cold logic on top of it.
I also like it when a guy can dance, but this is a whole different area.
This is the hot/crazy graph but for guys. Guys can be engineers and scientists and still enjoy very normal and a wide variety of social and creative things at a pretty equal rate to the guys that are not.
being strong....
Standing up to others (particularly mates) who are being a**holes. Having a strong moral compass, empathy and selflessness is seriously sexy.
++
Playing an instrument! ++
But honestly if they are passionate about something: whether it's art or coding or reading books,
it's all a major booster. It shows that they can be dedicated to something and that's really attractive imo.
Lips Together...
ryan gosling whistle GIF
Giphy
I looove it when men can whistle nicely. It seems so sweet and happy to me, like he is able to appreciate the small joys in life.
Financial Freedom....
Financial sense, and (sensible) frugality. A guy who knows how to budget properly, make savings projects, and reduce spending while still living his best life is usually also 1) intelligent, 2) good at planning ahead and thinking of the future, and 3) has a whole slew of related skill sets like basic home repair, cooking, cleaning, yard work, shopping, etc. (all things I expect us to share responsibility of.
I'm never going to be the sole house-manager ever again, and I would never ask someone else to take on that role alone).
Granted, I'm a long-haul kind of person. The criteria for spotting an attractive person across the room for the first time is more what you might expect: physical attractiveness and their personality in conversation.
Stretch....
Flexibility.
There are many flexible women but for men it's pretty rare and harder to achieve, so that makes it really cool and attractive imo.
Next to Godliness....
Being clean. When you go to a guy's apartment and don't feel completely disgusted, but actually pleasantly surprised by how clean it is. Hot.
The first time my friends came to do a group project, the only girl of the group said my room was too clean. This can't be real. 10 minutes of friendly argument about how a guy can clean and she still didn't believe me.
I just vroom-vroom the room before they came.
Touch my....
Hair Grooming GIF
Giphy
Braiding hair!! My ex could to it and it was so cool. Especially since he could French braid and its so exhausting to do those yourself sometimes.
Google it....
Active listening skills.
Hearing me and understanding me is not the same thing as responding in a way that makes me FEEL heard and understood.
Edit: So I'm not gonna go through and answer every single reactionary response here trying to distinguish the difference between active listening that makes the person feel heard and passive listening.
That's what Google is for.
"helps split up the cooking"
Cooking and the related grocery shopping (especially in the produce aisle). I went through all of college through my late-twenties without ever meeting a guy who was a good cook and liked to cook. If I did, I would jumped him and nabbed him right away. Finally got married to one who doesn't do any of these things but is great in many other respects - looks, smarts, success, but still I sometimes regret it.
It's not just the whole "helps split up the cooking" thing but I'm always dreamed of having a man who cooks with me - the whole egg in the mountain of flour and kneading the dough and cutting the pasta together thing. It takes enjoying good food and wine together to a whole another level, It's not the same when I make it myself or when we go out.
The POV
Storytelling. A man who can convincingly pretend to be a character he came up with on his own in irc roleplay, or can build a world and play multiple npc's as a tabletop game master. It demonstrates creativity, thinking outside the box, keeping track of multiple things not related to oneself, and seeing situation from multiple points of view.
Anything.....
Excited The Cw GIF
Giphy
Anything they know that I don't know. It's really attractive when someone is an expert at something and I can learn from them.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
***WARNING: THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SENSITIVE MATERIAL. PROCEED WITH CAUTION!***
I can't think of anything hilarious at the moment. Make us LOL.
Lady
Shocked Oh No GIF by Yêu LuGiphy"I have this friend, love him to bits, but his wife has a tendency of just constantly showing everyone pictures of their son at every social event. At the start it was understandable, but now I'm just like 'Lady, it's been two years; they're not going to find him.'"
UnoriginalUse
at 9am...
"Not the most morbid but I love Anthony Jeselnik’s story about his neighbor who has Alzheimer’s. 'One of my next door neighbors is a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s. And every single morning at 9am he knocks on my door and asks me if I have seen his wife.'"
"'Which means that every single morning at 9am I have to explain to a 90 year old man suffering from Alzheimer’s that his wife has been dead for quite some time. Now I’ve thought about moving. I have thought about just not answering my door in the morning. But to be honest, it’s worth it… just to see the smile on his face.”
dreagan021
Comedy?
"Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is."
GW2RNGR
"Why can't orphans play tennis? They get confused when they hear love."
JayDub506
People who make comedy are evil. LOL.
The Darkness
That 70S Show Reaction GIF by LaffGiphy"Dark humor is like food; not everyone gets it."
storm_the_castle
God Laughs?
"A Holocaust survivor dies and goes to heaven, where she meets God. To break the tension she tells God a joke about the Holocaust, but God doesn’t laugh. The lady shrugs and says 'I guess you had to be there.'"
“'I guess you had to be there' is a common expression used when someone doesn’t laugh at a joke. It means that the comedy may not translate without the context of the situation."
"In this case the Holocaust survivor is saying it, meaning that during the Holocaust God was nowhere to be found. It’s not really a joke about the Holocaust, but the absurdity of belief in a benevolent God. Hilarious right?"
semimillennial
Oh Baby
"How many dead babies does it take to fix a light bulb? More than 3 cause my garage is still dark."
sirnibs3
I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Because I don't know what it says about us as people if we laugh. Oye.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor Liam_Tang asked:
"People who've divorced, aside from adultery, what were the irreconcilable differences that ended the marriage?"
You think you know a person when you walk down the aisle.
These Redditors were in for a rude awakening.
Pet Neglect
"My wife divorced her ex for many reasons, but the final straw was when she went out of town for a few days, and when she got back he had not fed or given water to the dog. The dog lived a long and happy life after that."
– StrangeCrimes
Obsessed With A Crush
"Not me, but I had an old coworker that divorced his wife for spending their entire savings on candy crush and games of the same type."
– Hexis40
Compatibility Musts
"ITT: Intimacy (sex/romance), beliefs (religion/spirituality/politics), kids, and I haven’t seen it yet but it’s coming: finances."
"The big four. You REALLY need to discuss these things in detail BEFORE getting married."
– rabbiskittles
Physical violence is a legit reason for people to peace out of a relationship.
The Flattening
"She threatened to hit me with a hammer."
– michaelrohansmith
Hitting The Bottle
"She became an abusive alcoholic. It was sad but I had to get out."
– diegojones4
Emotional pain is too damaging to recover from.
Truth Hurts
"She told me as we stood in front of the judge ending our 7 year marriage, 'I never loved you, I just wanted kids.'"
– Pinch_Dogs
Can't Fix Angry
"She was beautiful/smart but an angry angry person. I thought I could be sweet to her and 'fix' that. Heh. She kicked the crap out of me emotionally. Wife II has been a walk in the roses for 32 years now :)"
– lowlandr
A change of heart is worthless if comes too late.
"We Could've Had A Nice Marriage
"He could not understand that my wants and needs were as important as his wants and needs. We tried to make it work for 7 years. During that time, for things that were really important to me, I tried explaining logically, asking nicely, begging, crying, yelling, passive aggressiveness... cycled back through all of these options multiple times."
"(If I knew something was important to him, I would do that. For example, he was really into sports, so I went to all his events, even though that is not at all my thing.) When I finally threw up my hands and told him it was time to get a divorce, he suddenly panicked and said 'What can I do? Do you want me to do half the chores? I'll do it! Do you want me to get a job? I'll do it! Do you want me to buy you presents for your birthday? I'll do it!'"
"So, in other words, he could have been doing that all along, but just couldn't be bothered. That made me so angry. We could have had a nice marriage that we both enjoyed, but no, by the time he saw the light, that ship had sailed."
"We are both happily remarried now (to different people) and I joke that his new wife owes me a thank you note. It was his experience with me that taught him to listen to her and take her needs seriously."
– Bluebird-True
"What Can I Do?"
"My ex was exactly like this. I didn't marry him but when I told him let's break up, he went all like, what can I do? Let's get engaged, let's look at houses, etc. Basically all the pre-marriage topics that we should be discussing about after being together for 7 years."
"I got so angry and straight up told him it's too late... I don't need you anymore."
– gudetarako
As much as a couple wants to stay together, unforeseen circumstances can eventually tear people apart.
Very few people can maintain healthy long-distance relationships.
When a new job opportunity takes a significant other away, would you begrudge them for wanting a better position to earn more money? Or is it better for them to reluctantly turn down the opportunity so they could stay with you? Do either scenarios breed resentment?
These were questions I've often asked myself with past relationships, and my answers varied depending on the person I was with.
Want to "know" more?
Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.