Couples Reveal How They Overcome Awkward Obstacles In Their Relationships
At a baseline, bringing two people together creates an inherently different environment for the two individuals to deal with. And then jealousy can easily rear its ugly head. Love is a great equalizer, but the awkward obstacles still have to be surmounted.
So an anonymous Reddit user appropriately came with the question:
Couples with a very significant achievement gap, be it academic, professional, financial, intellectual, or any other you can think of that may fit, how do you live with each other without feeling like two aliens?
And the internet came back with good advice.
I have 2 degrees and work as a lawyer. My husband never finished uni but has a job that he loves. He's a great father and husband. It doesn't really matter that I earn more than him because it's all just family money. We're both working hard and supporting each other and our kids.
Finding someone that you respect as a person is way more important than the status bullsh-t of degrees and cash. I'd take my husband over a hundred high earners. Just because he didn't get a piece of paper doesn't mean that he's not intelligent, and just because he doesn't earn as much doesn't mean he's not successful. Without his support I'm sure I wouldn't be where I am.
Just find someone who wants to be in your team. Forget keeping score.
The Shared Plan
I think being fair and honest with each other and taking care of which areas of the relationship you are better suited/equipped to do. The whole idea of a relationship to me is that you're better off combined than as individuals.
For example: in our relationship I work in IT and she's a teacher. I make four times what she does so we split all bills etc. by that ratio. She contributes in a meaningful but manageable way. I pay for most of the "extra" expenses (e.g. holidays) and I bought her a laptop, but she doesn't feel like a kid as she's still involved in the majority of "living expenses" expenditure (and it's not my home, it's ours).
Alternatively, she's at least 374 times smarter than I am and far better educated (bilingual with a top-tier Uni education). She makes the decisions around things like housing (her dad's an architect so she knows what's what) plus things like education for our future kids, as that's obviously an area she knows far more about than me.
The guilt of me knowing she works longer hours and is smarter but makes way less than me is a bit hard to stomach sometimes. I was lucky to fall into an industry which is in demand and has good rewards. We were both pretty poor when we met, so that helps.
Overall though, we have a shared long-term plan - the details of how we get there are less important. My success is her success, and vice versa.
I have a doctorate in my field and make almost 200k more than my husband yearly. He helped me get through school and pretty much raised our children on his own while I climbed up the ladder. It wasn't just my achievement, it was ours. I don't know many men that would have sacrificed as much as he did. Our marriage is strong because of mutual respect and admiration. If that doesn't exist, I don't see how the relationship can work.
Achievement Is Not A Factor
She has a very technical degree in a small field, and so she makes approximately twofold as much as I do. Fortunately, all that means is we, as a couple, do alright. Personal achievement isn't a defining factor in our relationship. What we do at work, what we did during school, personally, wasn't really a part of who we are. It's actually kind of weird to think that other people might view that as 'alien'.
Treat Them Like Your Equal
I make 2x what she makes. She refuses to let me pay her half of stuff so I'm basically just saving half of what I make because doing stuff alone is boring and I have to fit her budget. Lucky for her I love her so she is just saving for retirement by making me save. (She loves her job so I'll probably retire at 60 and do my own projects while she keeps working.)
Find Common Ground
I'm a cook. She's a doctor. We are both intelligent, share the same interests and love each other as people. Also, there's honestly more in common between the ER folks and Kitchen folks then I would have ever imagined. Both professions drink and smoke too much, cuss too much and generally f-cking hate people.
It's a partnership as much as a relationship. Love can't keep you together, but honest, kind, communication can. Part of being a partner is absorbing your partners bad days, and helping celebrate success.
My wife has a Phd. I have a high school diploma. She works for a really great job. I'm a stay at home dad. She's always out earned me (rightfully so. I'd be upset for her if I were making more in retail than she is with a phd).
I never put much thought to it. In her field she knows her sh-t inside and out, as you'd expect. But she can't cook, clean, or do yard work for sh-t. To the point I can't wrap my head around it. How you do char boiled eggs? Our talents and success are ours, but they complement each other. Even if we weren't married, we would be a good team.
Honesty it's only as hard as maintaining a happy marriage. Not that it's easy, but you use the same tools.
If you do feel resentment, you're gonna have to learn to let it go. Do that by finding out why you have resentment. Once you find out why, you may find out you can't ever change it and the opportunity you're pining for is gone forever. Gotta let it go. Whatever the problem is, you're gonna have to let it go. You can't live in resentment forever, and it'll fester and infect the rest of the relationship. Let it go.
It's A Partnership
I spent 30 years doing computer systems work and had some pretty high paying positions, as well as achieving a pretty high degree of personal and professional success.
My wife mostly babysat during the time our kids were growing up then had a pretty good career with the government although she never got very high, not starting till she was over 40.
She did express some jealousy on occasion at how "smart" I was and how well I was doing but I never, ever made that an issue. We're a team, she took care of the kids, I brought in the moola.
I've heard of people who think marriages are supposed to be 50/50 but that is so much bullsh-t, it's not even technically possible. Marriage is no a contest, like I said, it's a partnership, two people working toward a common goal. Sometimes you give more, something they give more, it's not worth worrying about.
We Love Each Other For More Than Our Gaps
We love each for other reasons than the key gap. So in the end we get past this.
Gap - she has an MSc Management - I have no degree and did not go to university.
Gap 2 - she is a lady of leisure - I work and earn a lot of money with no degree.
The only time it becomes an issue is talking about future child's education. She is adamant that we force our kid into university. I am against the forcing - if kid wants university great. If kid would rather do a private professional qualification/ apprenticeship then ok.
I am only going to stop my child from "doing nothing that could better their life".
Wife hates that, I think she sees it as a dig at her saying her degree is not worth anything. She is not from the UK so can't understand even after marrying me how a lot of people can excel in the UK without degrees.
So we either argue about it infrequently or do not talk about it. Tbh there is no point in talking about it until we have a sense of what child and their abilities they have.
Apart from that - we enjoy lots of the same things and share the same views and have the same life goals - our own home, a child, a pet, travelling to see the world a new place each year, taking care of Our families.
The Importance Of The Work
I have a Master's degree and make more than $80,000 in the Public Relations field.
My wife has no degrees - just a certificate from a community college and makes about $20,000 a year working part time.
But that certificate is in nursing, and she works in home hospice -- providing comfort to people as they die, helping their family members through the grieving process, etc all in the comfort of the dying person's home.
So while I make a lot more money, her work is inifinitely more important than mine is.
Always The Money
My wife currently makes a lot more money than me. I make some, but she does pretty well. She is also about to get her PhD and I didn't even finish college.
However, I work extremely hard at what I do, and I am getting better, and I know it will really pay off in the end. She sees that too and supports me. I support her in every other imaginable way. She is very type A and can get stressed, emotional, and overwhelmed, and sometimes just needs me to sit there and let her vent or hold her. We have become best friends, and as cliche as it may sound, we do complete each other in many ways.
On top of that, we share some things in common: we both love running, and we love our dogs to death (we met in a dog park). Good food and whiskey, lounging around reading, and hanging out with friends. I really don't know how I got such an incredibly beautiful and intelligent woman to marry me, but I will do all I can to support her and do my own thing so we can share a wonderful life.
I am 38 and my wife is 31. She has 3 graduate degrees in the STEM fields, 2 from ivy league type schools. She is now working on her 4th graduate degree in some type of computer science I do not understand. I never attended high school, and had to lie and make a fake high school transcript to get into college, where I have never completed even one full year. Mostly because I can not pass a math course which is 2 of my wife's degrees. We now have a kid, and have been married 7 years July 2017. We are very completely different people in completely different worlds.
I am not sure how we have made it work. She is somewhere on the autistic scale and I am very outgoing and social. I think we understand our own and each others limitations, and are understanding those boundaries more and more every day. She is a college professor and doing well at it, while I stay at home and play a support role. I never had a career or a future, so nothing really there to give up or miss. The best job I ever had was working construction for a low voltage company. 60+ hard hours every week with shitty pay and no benefits. Being a dad and a loving husband has given my life purpose I thought I would never have. I am pretty sure she feels and understands that she would not be able to work as hard and achieve what she has while having a family with out someone like me at her side.
Some tips; find something you both really really enjoy and force yourself to do it together on a very regular basis. For us it was video and table top gaming. We both love it, and play very differently so it makes for some interesting and heated gaming.
Use sex as a tool for bonding. Having a good line of communication is difficult for us, being so different. We have found for us that sex can be a good place for us to enjoy each other being each other. Levels of education or experience or history seems to melt away when passion rises.
The last one I can think of is listen and try and understand. Nothing makes my wife happier than when I make an effort to try and understand what shes talking about. There is also the extra bonus of over the decade or so of knowing her, I have learned quite a bit more than I thought I ever would about the STEM fields.
Now the bad. We do feel like aliens sometimes. We see things differently, and recently discovering how differently we parent. We do fight, maybe more than some. There are going to be things that will always be an issue, like having proper communication and understanding. Every relationship has to be built on compromise and hard work to make it last.
Gaps In Knowledge
My boyfriend is in a full time job in the type of work he studied for. I am finishing my degree, still.
It definitely becomes difficult with three major factors: Time management, money and maturity.
Time is uncomfortable because I feel like I have so much more free time than him, but then to counter that I work a part time job that takes all of my Sunday. This just needs to be organized around, and I think it's important for the person who's working full time to never assume the other is less busy just because they are not physically clocking in and out at the end of the day.
Money is self-explanatory. He makes money, I hemorrhage it out of my broke, broke pockets. For this I think there needs to be a balance of a show of self-sufficiency on my part, and a show of both generosity but also full belief I can do it "on my own" on his part. Talking openly about financial differences is good, and I personally appreciate when it's acknowledged that he lives a much less anxiety-driven life because money is not an immediate concern for him. This dynamic would change if I were to move in with him, but it would still be about willing to spend a "percentage of what we have" to make things work.
Finally, maturity. Sometimes I feel like I sound like a child when I talk to him about my university shit while he's out there actually being a person and having a job, and the only way this can be cured is understanding that your partner, well, loves you. They would not be dating you if they did not think you were a strong, capable person, especially if they are from a position with a lot more status/power/authority/what have you.
This is a valid question, and I have definitely struggled with it a lot in my own time.
Kindness Over Talent
My dad was a working-class genius. He didn't have any advantages in life (like the ones I have an frankly squander) but he quite literally is a hero, he overcame them and did some great things.
My mom is the most wonderful loving woman in the world, but on occasion not that bright. I don't think she ever made more than maybe 15 dollars an hour in her life slaving away in a job she hated, different kind of hero.
The difference between them was/is huge. But you wouldn't know it really, unless you got to know my dad.
Once my mom said something really stupid, and I was about the stupid age of 12 or 13 where I knew she was wrong, and I was arrogant enough to think it was cool to call her out on it. My dad heard me sort of arguing with her. He came in, asked what was going on, and then he said something like, "Bill just leave it alone." and he kissed my mom and gave me this look and a sort of head motion like "you better come with me or you're f-cked" so I did.
He told me something like, "Son, your mom is a good woman, I know she isn't the smartest woman but she's one of the best. Let her be happy. You have no idea how lucky you are to have someone who really loves you. Don't f-ck that up by arguing about shit that doesn't matter."
My husband is really really smart, and I'm not. He grew up with a very upperclass family, and I grew up under the bluest of collars and the strappiest of boots.
Over time we've had to have a lot of conversations, as I have felt insecure about my intelligence and class around his family in the past.
BUT! THEN I realized that I know how to change a tire, change our own oil, fix the lawn care equipment, clean every mess, and I'm generally a more organized person. I know how to put the work in until something is completed. So I stopped worrying so much, because my husband sure wasn't worried about it.
It's led to some stressful situations with my in-laws before, but at the end of the day, all you can say is f*** it. Plus, for some reason, my husband adores blue collar life way more.
It's give and take.
Again, Being Equals
I was a high school teacher and now I'm a SAHM. My husband is an environmental engineer who makes (low) six figures. When I was teaching, I brought home ~20k. We pooled all of our money and didn't differentiate. Even now when I'm not working, we have an equal amount of weekly "personal spending" money we don't have to explain or account for in our budget. I absolutely would not have agreed to stay home if my husband and I didn't share these beliefs about finances.
He values the domestic work I do as much as a monetary contribution to the household. The work I do at home during the week (cleaning, largely, but errands and cooking and so on as well) means that our evenings and weekends are straight-up leisure time for our family. When I was working, we often spent weekends playing catch-up on chores and errands (and grading!) instead of relaxing.
I'll go back to work when the baby is a few years old, but we both really value a few years of parent-controlled education and discipline in the home (vs. daycare or a relative providing child care).
Ultimately, it comes down to mutual values and a shared vision for our lifestyle, and understanding that our roles are very different and symbiotic. Moreover, though, he respects, appreciates, and admires my work as equal to his.
This Sounds Familiar
She is an immigrant aspiring model and I am a celebrity billionaire who is also the president of the United States of America. We don't always see eye to eye, but luckily she is always able to stay in our New York skyscraper. Also she wouldn't divorce me no matter what I did because when she looks at me she essentially sees a giant orange old gremlin standing in the way of her billions of dollars - and I'll be dead pretty soon.
It's a good system.
Make Someone Happy
My wife has a college degree and can speak 5 languages with actual fluency. She gets every job she applies for and tries to get.
I have no degree, speak English only with fluency, have struggled to find work. However, I'm funny, computer savvy, can open tight jars, I make her laugh and happy. It's equal because we make each other happy and i'm starting to work now and it's good pay and I'm doing very well. She just loves me for me. Not my resume.
My fiancé and I have lived together for a year now. We are very similar intellectually, but he's going into a scientific research field and is in grad school on his way to a PhD while I am doing my best to make it as a music teacher.
So we know finances are going to be very different in the future as it won't be practical for me to pursue a second degree for awhile. We knew this was going to happen, though, and we constantly communicate to check in about how we're feeling, if we are in need of more help, if I can do anything around the house to help with his long hours in the lab, etc.
As usual, communication is key. It's not perfect, and I'm self-conscious about my situation sometimes, but I have to consistently remind myself that a lot of the problems that I face with my career path are not my fault and I'm doing the best I can, and my fiancé is right there for me.
Doesn't matter. My wife has art degree in photography and a PhD in microbiology but was making barely like $40k in acedamia. I have a HS diploma and dropped out of college. I've been doing backup and storage support for 15+ years and bring home $100k+. She's left academia and went into government contracting and is almost up to where I'm at now. While she was in academia she was doing the good work and I would happily have continued to support the household if she wanted to continue. She didn't and I'm happy that she's enjoying her new work and success. My willingness to contribute everything is the same as it always has been.
There is a world full of mysteries to explore right at our very feet.
Do we engage with it on a level that might make us more uncomfortable? Well, if we really want to learn everything there is to know about our planet earth, we have to engage in the unsettling facts. They appear across every discipline.
The Easier Way Out<p>During the French Revolution, where the guillotine was introduced, the people to be executed fought to be first, as the blade would dull after multiple uses and wouldn't cut a head clean off at the first attempt.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Back2Bach/" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p><p>And the last execution by guillotine in France was the same year Star Wars came out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/CaptainPrower/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">CaptainPrower</a></p>
At LEAST One?!<p>You have probably unknowingly encountered, or walked past at least one murderer in your lifetime.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/theprettyunicorn/" target="_blank">theprettyunicorn</a></p><p>For sure encountered. Worked night shift at a convenience store, guy pulled in to put gas came in the store used the atm and left. 3 min later swarm of cops surrounded the store. He had just murdered his family a couple states over and cops got a hit when he used the atm machine.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cool1Mach/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Cool1Mach</a></p>
WELP<p>For a long time it was believed that babies were too underdeveloped to be able to feel pain, and as such, did not need anesthetic for any kind of surgeries.</p><p>Up into the 1980's.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/FartKilometre/" target="_blank">FartKilometre</a></p>
Internet History<p>Eventually, most of the content on the internet will have been created by dead people.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Phaesporic/" target="_blank">Phaesporic</a></p><p>Now I'm imagining a class like English literature but for internet culture and picturing a bored class with some kids sleeping while the teacher is saying some shit like "Okay class this meme is 100 years old and it says Me and the Boys going out to get some B E A N S what do the B E A N S symbolize and how does it reflect what was going on in society ? " lmao.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cheshire_Cat8888/" target="_blank">Cheshire_Cat8888</a></p>
Awful, Awful<p>There are estimated to be at least 25 active serial killers in the United States alone at any given time. Very few will be detected, much less apprehended.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/brideofchuckydoll/" target="_blank">brideofchuckydoll</a></p><p>Derrick Todd Lee and Sean Vincent Gillis were both active serial killer in the same city from the late 90s to early 2000s. For most of this time, law enforcement did not realize they were trying to catch multiple individuals, much less that they were acting completely independently of each other. On top of that, there are additional unsolved murders that neither was ever linked to whose evidence raises the possibility of a third active serial killer in the area during the same time period.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/see-bees/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">see-bees</a></p>
Viewer, Beware....<p>National parks are not all swings and roundabouts. Over 1600 people have gone inside Yellowstone National Park and never come out.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/I_Am_A_Master-Baiter/" target="_blank">I_Am_A_Master-Baiter</a></p><p>Yellowstone is known for boiling water and pools of acid. People on this earth put gorrilla glue in their hair. I don't have any questions about what happened.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MCqStep/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">MCqStep</a></p>
Statistically....<p>If you end up being the victim of a violent crime, you probably know the perpetrators. You probably trust them, most likely, you love them.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Double-Kicks/" target="_blank">Double-Kicks</a></p><p>People find it weird when the police declare most family members and close friends of murder victims to be suspects, but this is precisely why. You are FAR more likely to be (deliberately) killed by someone you know than a stranger. Also, in most countries and demographics, the most likely person to deliberately kill you is you.</p><p><span data-verified="redactor" data-redactor-tag="span"></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/kutuup1989/" target="_blank">kutuup1989</a></p>
Our Brains Are Unsettling, Too<p>There is a rare genetic degenerative brain disorder called Fatal Familial Insomnia. FFI starts as a mild inability to sleep followed by short bouts of intense nightmares/dreams and progressively deteriorates until the sufferer is completely unable to sleep, at all. Eventually impacting the human ability to microsleep as a last ditch effort of self preservation. There is no cure for FFI and eventually sufferers lose their minds and die of sleep deprivation. But it gets so much worse.</p><p>Due to the degenerative nature of the condition as it progresses you begin deteriorating mentally and physically. You lose the ability to regulate body temperature and may swing between freezing and sweating, you develop severe memory problems, confusion, agitation, weight loss, paranoia, hallucinations, speech problems, double vision, loss of motor controls (similar to parkinsons), inability to swallow, increased blood pressure and production of tears as well as many other unpleasant symptoms. The combination of your mind going and your body shutting down eventually kills you.</p>
Rise Of The Machines<p>There so far at least two fatalities as a result of robots, both of industrial type.</p><p>The first was in Flat Rock, Michigan in 1979 when an engineer was killed when he was hit in the back and crushed while retrieving parts at an automobile factory. It was due to a malfunctioning industrial robot he was fixing. The second was in Akashi, Hyōgo, Japan where a maintenance worker was fixing a broken-down robot when it came to life by mistake. Both locations happened in factories that are well-known for manufacturing vehicles.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MissSara101/" target="_blank">MissSara101</a></p>
So Can We Fix The Justice System Now<p>One to five percent of the US prison population is estimated to be innocent.</p><p>Combine that with the fact that one percent of the US population is incarcerated and your chance of being wrongly imprisoned in the 21st century is around 1 in 1000 in America.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Crocoshark/" target="_blank">Crocoshark</a></p>
Let's be honest, most of us don't read the Terms and Conditions before we click that little "I Agree" button. Most of you probably aren't even going to read this intro.
A huge chunk of you are going to open this article and immediately scroll to "the meat" because we're all about getting to the good stuff. But that rush can sometimes mean missing out on some seriously important tidbits of info.
The Catch Was...<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxNy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0Mzg2NjM3N30.Zr6T7LGuuXaTr7NKBFfaCTwEc0Fvu3yJ-KdYO-Xk_No/img.gif?width=980" id="c41a3" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f677f014d9104effd3b059212c9af24c" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Giphy<p>I financed some furniture when I was young and getting established in my first professional job. It was interest-free financing for the first 12 months. </p><p>The catch was that if you paid late, they would charge you a fee, back-interest from the beginning of the loan period, and you would lose the interest free status for the rest of the loan. The APR was 29.9%, compounded monthly! </p><p>I couldn't imagine getting to the 11th payment and having something go wrong so a payment is late, then pay basically double what I had financed on the furniture.</p><p>I paid it off in 6 months, and I never did in-store financing again.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnx5tr1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p>This is most interest free gimmicks. Educate your friends. Usually the young ones fall victim to this.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny23jj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Chimmiii</a></p><p>I sold furniture and we had financing like this and I made sure to always tells my customers this so they couldn't come at me later on down the road. Others didn't and it just seemed so shady and f*cked up to me.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxldnd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Piccolo_known</a></p>
Get It From The Next Owner<p>I almost signed a contract that granted 50% of profits to the previous owner of the business for 3 years. It was a restaurant that used a conventional microwave instead of an actual oven.</p><p>This was back in the early 2000's and this place had a wonderful 50's vibe. From the bar, to the stools to booths - but it was empty because the food was SO bad and there was fast food up the road.</p><p>We were going to get a pizza oven in there and turn it into a Pizza/Shake place with soup in the winter. </p><p>When the law STUDENT we paid $500 to look over everything (DO THIS!) asked the seller about it for us, they said that they had sunk so much money into the business, the only way to make the money back was to get it from the next owner somehow.</p><p>Good luck with that.</p><p>We could not get them to remove that clause, the owner was hellbent on making the next person be the one to make the business successful and pay them.</p>
18 Months<p>A realtor once gave me a contract that said she would be the only person allowed to represent the property for 18 months.</p><p>That means that they were the only person that could try to sell the house. For <em>a year and a half</em>. We could not work with a different agent if we felt that this one wasn't doing enough, not responding, if we weren't happy, etc. </p><p>If we did, this agent would still get commission from the sale that that other agent actually made.</p><p>Nope. No way was I going to agree to being attached to someone for a year and a half like that. We found a different realtor with a 3 month term (which is much closer to standard), told the first one that her terms were ridiculous, and was under contract within 10 days.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny1hbr?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Tricky-Garden</a></p>
Idol Entitlement<p>Canadian Idol auditions when the first show was announced. Read the contract to the very end after signing it.</p><p>"you agree to being filmed 24/7. We can enter your room at any time and record personal phone calls and interactions with anyone." </p><p>That received a hard no for me. Ripped up the contract and never looked back. Thank god I read that before submitting it.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jenskal</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny2yf4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Tell the camera crew to get out or get weird.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz2mr7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">WielderOfDaNWordPass</a></p><p>Fine want to record me 24/7? Congrats, I have IBS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnz0d4s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wanderurlyy</a></p>
Phone Privileges<p>To be able to link my phone's outlook reader to my university account, I would had to give the IT-department permission to wipe my phone clean "if needed."</p><p>No thanks, I'll just use browser instead.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">craftaliis</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxdc3z?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I saw an employment contract where, if you did any company business on your cell phone, they could go through your phone and delete/restrict basically whatever they wanted. </p><p>I advised my friend to make a company-provided phone part of her contract.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EngineeringQueen</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxq6pc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>Yeah. Someone at my old company had a commonish name, and someone lost their phone... and the company wiped the wrong phone.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnye6z8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">blargh2947</a></p>
The Good Ol' US of A<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTYxMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTA1MDM5M30.A1BqwoI_FExTt3jqON2xJbJN1qt62txRrTsJ8V5Ybs8/img.gif?width=980" id="99844" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9236d4a9b82c22589577961a2a710924" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Season 3 America GIF by Broad CityGiphy<p>Any health and safety terms and conditions in USA. </p><p>I was working on adapting a US one for a charity event in the UK run by the same people and oh boy you cannot get away with that here. One line said if an employee harmed you in any way (even intentionally), you could not sue... </p><p>What!? </p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnydf7s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">lt52-</a></p>
Keep It<p>Free ceiling insulation. </p><p>The catch? You allowed a company to install temperature sensors around the inside of your house, and they can do that at any time. And you have to allow access for them to check the sensors and get readings, adjust things, and remove the sensors. Everything belongs to the company. </p><p>This means letting randos into your house potentially over and over to get their readings from the electrical crap they put in your house. </p><p>Nah I'm good, keep your insulation.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyrbn7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bumpequalsbump</a></p>
Airlines<p>Was going to post this as a response on another thread, but I want people to actually see it.</p><p>When you book a flight, in the terms and conditions (especially for basic and econo fares) you agree that in the event of your flight getting canceled due to an act outside of the airlines control they don't have to refund you unless they offer you a travel credit.</p><p>That includes a world spanning virus.</p><p>Don't be cheap, get travelers insurance or pay for the higher fare that has a refund clause.</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">bpanio</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnxyb4e?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a></p>
Crepes<p>I worked for a meat pie company that moved over from Australia that made me sign a contract that I would never work for another meat pie company or open an establishment that sells similar food. I didn't read the fine print. </p><p>They also sold a few other things ... like crepes. Sure enough, I wanted to open a food truck and my partner had her sights on crepes as she made them in her previous food truck and it just happened a truck we were buying was set up to make similar things. </p><p>I gave 1 month notice because they were busy and I didn't want to leave them stranded in high season. I told the owner we were working on a food truck we bought, it was a dream coming true, and that it happens we are doing crepes as my partner is French and had done them before.</p>
This Sparks Joy<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTY4OTU2NS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxOTY0OTgxM30.takzFO7X_vx_UzNvPeNEvpcYSGho5_AZNX-itkNSdOE/img.gif?width=980" id="d78cf" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="09a8efb07fb739ec04f38de1406639f5" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="276" />Giphy<p>I'm pretty sure I gave google the rights to all of my Spotify data when they gave me a free google home. </p><p>On one hand, RIP privacy. </p><p>On the other hand, knowing some poor algorithm has to figure out some possible way to advertise things to me based on listening to Knock On Wood 57 times in a row and the soundtrack to Starship Troopers on repeat gives me great joy.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnywvs7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OakNogg</a></p>
Claim $100<p>Back when the internet really started being a thing, some company/website put something in their terms and conditions about the first person who reads it, can contact them to claim a $100 prize. </p><p>Took five years for somebody to claim the prize.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">RubyShooz </a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3g6s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I wonder how much of that is people not reading it and how much is people reading it and thinking "surely somebody's already claimed this by now, why bother?"</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyj0gy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Novaseerblyat</a></p>
Amazon ... Should We Be Worried?<p>Not really an example of the worst thing, but you're not allowed to use Amazon's game engine (Lumberyard) for military/nuclear applications normally, but that restriction is suspended specifically if there's a zombie apocalypse</p><p><a href="https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://aws.amazon.com/service-terms/</a> Clause 47.10: "<em>this restriction will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization</em></p><p><em></em>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gny3skb?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">OldGodsAndNew</a></p>
Most Ridiculous<p>I recall a major airline in the pioneer days won an award for most ridiculous TOS to simply look up a flight arrival time on their web site.</p><p>If I recall, it was a 22,000 word document that an analysis said was written at a post graduate reading level. It states that you would, in perpetuity, never use that computer to connect to any other airline's website.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyb3lm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">NightMGR</a></p><p>What were they planning on doing about it if you broke the contract? Send a hitman after you or something?</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/go1hpi5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChungusFungus303</a></p>
Citibank Is Serious Business<p>When I started work for Citibank, they asked me to sign two documents;</p><ol><li>promising I would never use encryption for any purpose other than Citibank's for as long as I live.</li><li>promising to obey the laws of all 196 countries on earth that Citibank operates in.</li></ol><p>So obviously I looked at my cubicle mate and stoned her to death for exposing her wrists, and I can no longer use HTTPS.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmugas/users_who_read_the_terms_and_conditions_what_are/gnyy0u3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">beachbbqlover</a></p>
Death is scary. It brings the unknown of the great beyond, whether that's heaven, some other afterlife, or total nothingness, depending on what you believe.
But there is one perk that comes with death: total control of your funeral.
Let the Games Begin<p>"I got a request for the deceased to be dressed up in a Where's Waldo costume and to have 12 other identical caskets in the room so the guests could try to guess where he was by opening coffins randomly."</p><p>"Each guest was to play this guessing game and then sit down before the next person could enter so everyone could play the game."</p><p>"Problem was not everyone wanted to play the game.....super odd but they paid a lot for it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnylmi3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ramontgomery</a></p>
Dead In a Faraway Galaxy<p>"The deceased was a huge Star Wars fan and left explicit instructions for his funeral."</p><p>"As funeral organist, I was requested to play Star Wars principal themes on the grand pipe organ for prelude music, processional and recessional."</p><p>"As I once described, pall bearers were dressed in main characters costumes and "Obi-Wan Kenobi" gave an inspired eulogy, drawing upon memorable moments from the series."</p><p>"Using 'full organ' (all the stops out) for climatic moments, I played the <em>Imperial March</em> at the conclusion of the funeral before those in attendance departed for the cemetery for the committal."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxielt?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Back2Bach</a></p>
A True Celebration of the Life He Lived<p>"I'm a florist, and I've created some unique tributes out of fresh flowers, and more."</p><p>"I made a putting green two feet across, complete with ball, tee and a club for an avid golfer. I constructed a fish out of various blooms and leaves, placed by a lakeside foliage spray. I've made rainbows and black and white themed arrangements. I put a lot of heart into memorial pieces."</p><p>"A few years ago, I was helping a family decide on their tributes for a much-loved man. The wife stressed he was known for his big blue Giant Eagle truck, and most of their friends were from the driver's union."</p><p>"I volunteered myself for a watercolor picture of the truck around which I would design a floral spray. It took four attempts, but I was finally happy, and framed it."</p><p>"Two days later, I received the most wonderful letter from his wife, and said that everyone agreed it was the most appropriate and important statement about his life. It will sit on her mantle for the rest of her life."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnyf7h2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">cavepainted</a></p>
Friends Til the Very End<p>"My family owns a grave digging business as well as lawn and garden statues, someone purchased an 8ft tall gorilla statue."</p><p>"My dad delivered it and asked what they were going to do with it and where they were putting it, the guys said their friends dying wish was to be stuffed up this concrete gorillas a**, and that's what they did."</p><p>"They drilled a whole in the a** and put their buddies ashes inside"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnytm2i?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">hayhay428</a></p>
Always Watching<p>"My husband found out they can make gems out of cremains, and now he wants to be reduced to 2 jewels seated in his own eye sockets."</p><p>"I don't want a skull! I don't want to own his skull! I don't want him to watch me with his evil gem eyes!"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gny5vcy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ParadiseSold</a></p>
For Science<p>"My own will requests that my right eye be removed, preserved and delivered to my oncologist in Miami for him to do with whatever he sees fit."</p><p>"Hopefully as a teaching aid to new optometry students, but if he wants to use it for pranks I'm totally fine with that too."</p><p>"I survived a very unusual eye cancer and they had to do all kinds of experimental things to repair it when all was done. I jokingly suggested I donate it to science when I went and he said that was an amazing idea. So, here you go."</p><p>"I hope whoever deals with my corpse has fun with that request."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxp6ri?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">zerbey</a> </p>
One Last Look<p>"My wife's uncle asked the funeral director when he dies he would like his eyes open in the casket during his viewing."</p><p>"His entire life everyone commented on his big baby blue eyes and he wanted them open for people to see one last time."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnycdzg?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Agreeable-Scratch424</a></p>
One Last F-You<p>"One rich guy hated his kids and didn't want them to get a cent of his wealth. He therefore wanted all his money to spent on a mausoleum for his coffin with a rose garden around it and the eternal upkeep thereof."</p><p>"He had the city council-approved architectural plans for the mausoleum included in his will and testament."</p><p>"He demanded in his will that the remaining funds, after construction, must go to a gardening service to maintain the rose garden and clean off the bird poop from his mausoleum in perpetuity until the money runs out in a few centuries."</p><p>"The mausoleum is in Cemetery de Saint Rambert outside Lyon, France."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnxnk4q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">JingoisticJeremiah</a></p>
Utter Indifference<p>"My coworker was meeting a client who was picking up his mother's cremains. My coworker has the client sign a release, then hands him the urn."</p><p>The man immediately turns around and drops the urn into the trash can."</p><p>"My coworker is a 40 year funeral director veteran, and without missing a beat, he says, 'Sir, I can understand your strong feelings about your mother, but I cannot allow you to leave that here. What you do once you get out the door is up to you and God.' " </p><p>"Dude picked up the urn and left without a word."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnybff8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">keliez</a></p>
To Reflect What She Was Like, Or Never Did?<p>"My mom asked the embalmer to put a few stitches in my grandma's cheeks to give her a faint smile. </p><p>"At the time it seemed like an odd, even slightly morbid request, but 20+ years on, it's one of the only things I remember from her funeral. It was kind of lovely, actually."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lmtl11/funeral_home_workers_and_owners_whats_the/gnx79mi?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Fearless_Lab</a></p>
After we've watched a movie, it can be difficult to imagine the film as a project that took months or years to finally culminate into the product we see at the theater or on our television.
But it was built and hacked together, piece by piece.