Men Share The Questions They've Always Wanted To Ask A Woman But Were Too Embarrassed
There's an old saying that describes women as a mystery; however, today we're going to crack the case…well, at least a little bit. This thread allowed men to ask the questions they've always wondered about in a safe, informative zone. This can be difficult in face-to-face conversations where personal or private questioning is not always appropriate.
Have you ever wondered what women really do at sleepovers? What do they think of your flirting? Or the truth behind "size doesn't matter" but could never really ask? Then this one is for you. We've lined up some of the most common questions that people don't dare ask from one Redditor's bold question.
Redditor _somename_ asked:
"Men, what are some questions you've always wanted to ask women, but were too embarrassed?"
The responses from the women of Reddit were helpful and matter of fact even when it came to some would-be awkward questions.
Female baldness...
“How are most of you not bald? I swear I can make a muppet with the amount of hair my partner and female friends seamlessly dump all over the house. Why the h*ll am I pulling a 2 ft long hair out of my a**crack lmao” RealFlyForARyGuy
“Women's hair thins with age, too, and some do actually experience a degree of baldness. More woman than you realize are wearing toppers, extensions, or wigs.“
“Women losing their hair is way, way, WAY less socially acceptable than men losing theirs, so those who suffer from hair loss tend ito go to great lengths hide it, in a similar way to how we are so secretive about how much hair grows everywhere else on our bodies.” AccessibleBeige
Flirting vs. being nice?
“How do I differentiate between a woman flirting with me and just complementing me?" Issac_-
“Compliments aren't stretched out for long periods of time unless you're in a relationship. People usually give 1 or 2 compliments then continue the conversation. While flirting will be part of most of the conversation." Blake-Bell
“If she's at work, just assume she's not flirting. She might be, but it's way more likely that she's not and it's just too messy and awkward. So don't hit on baristas or bartenders or cashiers." Mehhhhhhhjay
Yes, please, just shave it!
“Not embarrassed to ask this but since women are giving their honest opinions, how do y'all feel about being attracted to guys who are balding/bald at a young age (20-25)? Does it make a big difference to you?” arixrdc
“Personal opinion, shaving it off is way hotter than going for the prince William look of pretending like it's not happening. Just shave it. If you are able to, grow some facial hair, that balances out the shaved head. But it's not important.” Hoppinginpuddles
Conversation skills don’t always come naturally…
“How should I approach/ meet people? I'm really shy and bad at conversing and genuinely believe I'm probably going to end up alone since I'm 30 and can't talk to people like an adult.” Panicradar
“So there are a few things that I want to touch on here. One, if you are approaching a strange woman in public that you're romantically interested in, you need to tread very carefully. Women are socially conditioned to be polite even when we feel uncomfortable/threatened.”
“So if you are going to try, you need to be very aware of leaving ways for her to exit the conversation (both socially/verbally and physically--a lot of guys I know unwittingly block exits because they don't realize how big they look/don't have to constantly worry about safety like that).”
“Beyond that, practice. I once went without answering ‘good’ or ‘fine’ to ‘how are you’ for a few weeks as a challenge. Even just switching to something like ‘It's almost the weekend’ or ‘I can't wait for spring’ and a smile to the checker at the grocery store gets a much more warm and genuine response back.”
“They'd tell me about how they heard the weather would warm up soon or tell me if it was almost the end of their shift. I didn't form any deep relationships with them or anything, but it gave me the confidence to at least try to talk to people in other areas of my life.” tonightbeyoncerides
The question most men want to know…
“Does penis size actually matter to y'all?” DefectiveJay
“It's like boob size. A vocal minority cares a lot, the rest is just happy with what is there.” Allegutennamenweg
Different ways to support…
“How do I support you in public if I'm anxious and nonconfrontational? If someone's being kinda creepy I may not feel confident enough to speak up... what is the next best thing to do?" SeatDisastrous2262
“Get us out of the situation quickly and safely. You don't have to fight someone to show us that you want to keep us safe. Support us by helping us get to safety and be open to talking about it after." OIWantKenobi
Someting to never ask irl...
“Do periods stink?” OrdinaryBallowski2
“The metallic smell is the iron from your body. You are shedding so much blood and loosing that iron. That's why some people tend to get super thirsty/dry mouth, chew ice, or get light headed while on their period.” jadapotatoe
People Share The Craziest Lies They've Told That Came True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
FYI, its like carrying a bowling ball in your groin that kicks and makes you puke…
“How do pregnancies feel? is it like carrying a backpack on the chest? is the baby pulling down? does it block ways of sitting?” SlimeCrafterLP
“This can vary among women and which stage of pregnancy they are in. At first, you might not feel anything or your pelvis might feel really tender and kind of bloated. At a certain point you can start to feel movement inside.”
“When the baby is small and has space to move around it might feel like a flutter. After the baby is bigger and space in the uterus decreases it can feel like getting poked and prodded from the inside. This can make the pregnant woman feel happy and reassured but also sometimes uncomfortable.”
“Sometimes the baby will kick you in the ribs or push into your back. You could compare it to carrying a backpack but imagine that the back pack is inside your body.”
“After a certain point it does feel like the baby is pulling down on your body especially if the belly sticks out a lot. Being pregnant can make different physical positions uncomfortable but again, it depends on the person and the stage of pregnancy.” JstVisitingThsPlanet
Bathroom conditions…
“Are women's bathrooms really cleaner than men's? I've heard that they just get cleaned more often.” ChronoLegion2
“It depends! I've used men's public restrooms before in a pinch, and I find it's usually just different kinds of messy. Women's restrooms would have the occasional blood stains or hygiene product that isn't properly disposed of, and men's restrooms would be more likely to have feces where it didn't belong. Plus, sticky floors? Especially near the urinals.”
“You're definitely right about the cleanliness thing! I find it more common with women to be concerned about dirt or grime, with more leeway being given to regular clutter (clothes on the floor, books scattered around, etc). My dad and brothers both seem pretty blind to nasty messes.”
“They'll leave used plates and bowls or cups in their rooms for days, let their trash cans pile up with god knows what, and I've seen them wipe their runny noses on their clothes way too much.” Lilac_Summers
“…get smashed and order stupid amounts of food…"
“What do you actually do at sleepovers?” yrrrrrrrr
“Talk about guys and gals we think are cute, watch movies (usually Disney or horror), listen to music, play video games (Mario kart, Mario party, super smash bros, just dance, etc), take over the kitchen to bake at 3am, dance around in our pajamas, try out ridiculous or extravagant makeup looks, and occasionally play dress up, too! and depending on our age, get f**kin smashed and order stupid amounts of food lmao.” Lilac_Summers
Period planning 101
“How do you plan around periods? Do you have a calendar for when you're due and put protective measures around that time? Do you just wear something all the time? Or do you bleed on your underwear on a regular basis?” Alyeanna
“I have a calendar and know when it's coming +- 2 days. It does not come like BOOM a lot of blood, usually it starts with a few little drops I notice when whiping after peeing and then I know i should probably put my cup in in a few hours.” Rayancanmore
No, no it does not…
“Always heard some women say ‘wasn't able to walk after sex’ does that mean the guy was good/ideal?” Bbclive123
“Not necessarily, sometimes guys go overboard and are pretty thrust happy and that doesn't always mean that it was pleasurable.” MarieLouise01
“women feel pressured to make men happy even if we aren't interested.”
“What's better? - A guy asking your cell number. - A guy giving his number and saying ‘I had a good time with you and would like to message/call/see you again. Here's my number, text me if you like’.” Somnscipios
“The second one for sure. Sometimes women feel pressured to make men happy even if we aren't interested. The second one is thoughtful and conscientious, and if I was still dating I would personally be more inclined to reach out if a guy offered me the second option.” OlWantKenobi
Hints she might like you bro…
“What hints do girls give when they are interested?” shanidar1
“Here's my personal signs that I'm into a guy! I make and maintain eye contact with him more, I'm more likely to touch him casually (on the arms, shoulders, do the whole ‘you have something on your face/in your hair, can I get it?’ routine, stuff like that!), my body language is more ‘open’ and relaxed, and I tend to face him with my whole body!”
“Not just with my face, unless, y'know, I'm not physically able to face him with my whole body. Plus, I'll make comments on his physical appearance! ‘Wow, your hair looks different today! Did you put something in it?’ or ‘That shirt looks really good on you! You should wear it more often.’”
“Stuff like that! I try and really listen to what he says, and try to remember stuff he likes or is interested in! Back when I worked retail, I was always baking stuff and trying out new recipes on my coworkers. If I had a crush on a guy, he'd be one of the first people I'd bring something to.”
“Or if it was something I'd made before that I knew he'd like, I'd save him a couple extra and give them to him personally, instead of just letting him find a tray of cookies in the break room. That last one is really specific to me though because not everyone is super into baking like I am!” Lilac_summers
Different sex drives…
“Are women as horny as men are?” Intelligent _Maize_71
“Women want sex just as much as men do, but we do not get turned on the same way. Emotional intimacy and safety ignites interest a lot more than straight up propositions. Women are often objectified, and straightforward propositions are often a turn off.”
“Women who are openly sexual are slutshamed, and receive more unwanted propositions. It's just easier to save all of that excitement for the bedroom.” VansChar_
For real, avoid the tangents…
“So what would be the best way to bring a girl into the stuff you like: hobbies, favorite shows, movies, etc. etc. I'll gladly admit that I'm an über nerd that gets excitable over the stuff I like. When I get on topic I can get going on several tangents that I'm just blazing through cause I just LOVE this stuff that I'm talking about.”
“Unfortunately I've seen it happen all too often where eyes glaze over and you just get the polite ‘Yeah!’ and ‘Mmhm!’ with a nod here and there. It kind of makes just not want to share. So what's the way to try and bring you in enough to where maybe we can actually talk about it rather than me just talking at you.” Qant00AT
“First of all you can't really make someone like something. You can try to introduce it little by little, maybe find some aspects of it that you know will interest her. It's desirable to be passionate about something but DO NOT talk for hours about it if you see she's bored. Also show some interest in her own hobbies.” mmmaja_s
It is individual choice…
“Do you feel makeup is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy? Like wearing foundation to remedy your complexion, it messes up your complexion, then you have to wear more? I've always felt men have better skin…sometimes.” Jocfrost
“I agree. Plus you wear makeup to ‘fix’ your complexion, then you only feel pretty when you're spending so much time and makeup to look a certain way. I want to wear makeup because I think the designs are pretty, but I'm waiting until I'm genuinely happy with the way I look so I don't depend on makeup for self confidence.” Strong-Second-2446
Online dating can be rough…
“When you put on your dating profile "don't just say 'hey' or 'how are you'" then what do you want is to open with?” RetailDrone7576
“Well, I always like it when a guy opens with something that shows he read my profile! Maybe a reference to some of my listed hobbies? Questions about my schooling? Something casual, not like interview style questions.” Lilac_summers
Consent before touch is sexy j/s…
“Should I ask or should I just go in for the kiss? I feel like I'm good at reading the situation but I always ask first because I'm not brave enough to just go in for it.” thatguy2650
“It is completely okay to ask! I've had guys ask me before and I always think it is so nice of them to ask for consent before, especially because I've had guys not ask and me not want to be kissed. So asking before especially if it were like a first or second date is very refreshing.” cheetosgoldenhoney
They can seriously hurt…
“How painful are periods actually. I have had a girl tell me it feels like every bone is being broken which no offense if it's true but I think that's an over exaggeration. So how painful is it really.” Iamultraweeb
“They can be extraordinarily painful, especially if you have a condition called endometriosis. It can literally feel like you're being gutted with a knife. Sometimes it's just a dull ache.”
“The thing about period cramps is that they can spread to your back/kidney area, and medications don't work for everyone. Plus we have to continue on with our day while being hormonal and uncomfortable and in pain and bleeding.”
“It's a big suck all around. And, a lot of women experience diarrhea while on their period so that's super fun too. Birth control can help with period pain, but for some women it's horrendous and for others it is manageable.” OlWantKenobi
Some of these questions wouldn't exactly be appropriate in the real world so we're glad we got to get answers here.
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Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason
"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.
Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.
But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.
However not everyone feels that way about their job.
So what are these compelling careers?
Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked:
"People who wouldn't quit their job even if you won the lottery, what's your job?"
Cup Of Joe
"Barista is my main regular job."
"I f*cking love it."
"I love being able to talk to people all day and making cute little swans or whatever in people's drinks."
~ Low_Perception9046
Cleaning Up
"Janitor."
"Hours are good, work is easy, people are mostly nice."
"Something to keep me busy."
~ IHate2ChooseUserName
Fun With Chemistry
"I develop chemical sensors."
"I would buy the company and work half time."
"The joy of solving the types of problems that come up is fun."
~ BadDadWhy
Helping Children
"When I win the lottery I’ll still work but I’ll probably go to part time."
"I work with children with special needs—my job is rewarding and special."
"I love working with kids."
"Plus I’m too young to 'retire' and not work, I’ll get bored."
~ No-Section3226
Doing Dos
"I do hair."
"Love it!"
"Gives me purpose."
~ Hyperboleballad
Feeding The Hungry
"I'm actually a chef at my local homeless shelter."
"My dream job, even with an advanced degree."
"I'd not quit this if I won 3 lotteries."
"I would, however, cut a fat check to my organization and my sister organizations."
~ subwooferofthehose
Angel Of Mercy
"Nursing."
"I kind of still like it."
"I'd probably back off to part time if I won big."
~ LadyVaresa
Sweet Beats
"I'm a musician."
"Basically I have what for most people is a dream job, which makes me a non-representative specimen."
"On the other hand, I still occasionally work as a paramedic, and as rewarding as that job can be, I'm mostly doing it when I want to grab some extra cash."
"I'd probably let my certs expire if I was rich."
~ loose_lady_lutenist
Healing
"I'm a doctor."
"A great portion of my income is already donated to my hospital's program that expands access to low-income patients."
"I'd probably give 100% of my income to the program if I won and use the lottery winnings for living."
~ Shiblets
DIY
"I recondition (light remodeling) apartments after tenants move out."
"I’m alone all day and I can listen to podcasts or books, the work is very satisfying to me, and as a woman I’ve loved learning HVAC, plumbing, and electrical work as I use the experience in my own home when things break/need updating."
"I would go crazy without working anyway but I really do love my job."
~ Dependent-Bass-2043
All Creatures Great And Small
"Kennel attendant."
"I’ll never willingly turn my back on these animals."
~ RathGodofWar
No Business Like Show Business
"I’m the Assistant Director for a Children’s Theatre."
"It’s really not something you do for the money."
"You do it because you love it and can’t imagine your life without it."
~ RamblingsOfaMadCat
Fostering Futures
"I work in addiction recovery."
"It means a lot to me."
"I wouldn’t quit if I won the lottery, but I would go part time."
~ randtcouple
A Stitch In Time
"I teach people how to sew, mostly kids but we have a few adult classes as well."
"It is stressful but also so rewarding to see a room full of people who have learned a skill from you and can take home a bunch of goodies."
"Sewing is a dying skill so we need to teach it more!"
~ Interesting-Chest520
Saving Lives
"National Suicide Prevention Lifeline."
"I love the job. It’s stressful at times but also very rewarding."
~ MaryKathGallagher
Many people stated they might cut back to part-time or donate their salary, but a significant number of people had no plans to stop working.
However some would change their job focus or profession.
So, would you keep working after a lottery win?
Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.
It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.
Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:
"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"
Communication Issues
"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"
- maggiebear
"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."
"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."
"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."
- chobani_yo
"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"
Emotional Regulation
"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"
"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."
- lil_mermaid
Tough Relationships
"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"
"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."
"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."
- metric88
High-Stress Situation
"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."
"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."
- KittenGr8r
The End of Alcohol
"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."
"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."
"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."
"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"
"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."
"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"
"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."
"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."
- sophies_wish
Acceptance vs. Enjoyment
"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"
"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."
- alibelloc
Emotionally Immature Parents
"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."
- SmokedPears
Not So Lazy
"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."
"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."
"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."
"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."
- flybyknight665
The Harm in People-Pleasing
"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."
- ERsandwich
Agree to Disagree
"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"
This really changed my outlook on planning family events."
- freef
Grieve and Start Anew
"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."
"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"
"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."
- squeaktoy_la
Multifaceted Identity
"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."
- unfairpegasus
Breaking the Cycle
"They validated me."
"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."
"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."
"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"
- puppsmcgee74
The Grieving Process
"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."
"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."
"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"
"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"
"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."
"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."
- Hannibal680
Sharing the Load
"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."
"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."
"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."
"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."
"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."
"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."
- Backupusername
The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.
It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.
There's something comforting about living in a small town.
It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.
Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.
The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.
Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:
"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"
These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.
Live Updates
"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."
– PyrrhuraMolinae
Brush With The Law
"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”
Roadside Catchup
"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."
– anon
When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.
Bank Robbery
"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."
– AlexRyang
"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."
– Strict_Condition_632
Wise Woman
"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."
"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."
– ilurvekittens
Intoxicated Local
"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."
– DoodooExplosion
Grazing Over To The Bar
"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."
– brown_pleated_slacks
It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.
Welcoming Committee
"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"
–MoonieNine
"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."
– impiousdrifter
"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."
– raisinghellwithtrees
"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"
– realneil
A Busy Day
"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."
– KenmoreToast
Who Let The Dogs Out?
"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."
– mediocrelpn
"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."
– Worried_Place_917
While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.
I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.
I would be paranoid.
And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.
Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?