Once you're in "the zone," romantically, it can take a lot to shake you of it. Your partner and you can be so entwined, wrapped up in one another, that the whole earth could move and you would never know.
However, that's not saying there's nothing that could stop you mid-gyrate.
Reddit user, u/Mister2JZ-GTE, wanted the mid-coital tea spilled when they asked:
What has made you stop and leave, mid sex?
Game Over.Â
My boyfriend was fingering me and I was enjoying it, but it felt, I dunno, a bit unenthusiastic.
So I opened my eyes and looked and he was playing a game on his phone with his other hand.
Nope!
Damn Elliptical.Â
Sex the wife doggy style... Her knees on the bed, my feet on the floor.
Directly behind me is our elliptical... I somehow lost my footing and smoked my heel on the elliptical and proceeding to fall backwards ass first directly into the foot pedal.
My butt crack hurt so damn much I was as flaccid as a piece of cooked spaghetti.
I couldn't continue.
Furiously!Â
Only time I can remember it happening is when I was a young lad that had snuck into my lady's house\bed, and her parents woke up and came to check on her. Luckily we heard them coming, (unlike me), so I hid between her bed and the wall while she acted like she was trying to kill a moth; that's what she claimed noise they heard had been. They went to the living room, (right outside her door), and turned on the TV, I climbed out her 1st story window and booked it to my bike and peddles home furiously to furiously do something else.
Teeth.
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We had just watched the film Teeth. Mid stroke I remembered the film, stopped. looked her in eyes and she knew what I was thinking and just said "don't."
Punked.Â
Not quite mid-sex but we were mid foreplay and mostly naked- it was totally me and not her.
I had just broken up with my Ex and was in a bad place- I had very poor decision sex with the Ex that afternoon, went on a crappy Tinder date, stayed behind and started drinking with this random woman at the bar and was back at her place before I even knew- had a moment of clarity right before and told her I shouldn't be doing this- I'm not in a good mental space. She got mad and cursed me out pretty bad.
Sad part is I still see her around town especially at punk shows.
"most definitely!"
When I was 17, not long after I met the guy who is now my husband, I went to stay at his place where he lived with his mum. She was busy cooking a casual meal so we disappeared into his bedroom for some alone time. As I'm going down on him, she knocks on the door and asks "Does SevenLittleMice eat sausages?" husband responds (I was unable to talk for obvious reasons) "most definitely!"
We were unable to continue due to uncontrollable laughter 😂
Not Nic!
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I pushed a guy's hair back and suddenly he looked uncannily like Nicholas Cage. I was laughing too much to carry on, so after calming down and apologizing, I left.
Did go back to finish the job the next day though... But left his hair alone.
Pop!Â
Naked, taking her roughly from behind. Her arm dislocates. She is in immediate pain, crying, face down.
I was a medic for my first career and while pretty much inside her I talk to her calmly and coach breathing.
Reach forward, grab arm in place, slowly reduce. Pop, back in.
Big hugs and tears, she admits its the first time she has cried in front of a partner in a while.
Still seeing her, she is awesome.
Don't Be Rude.Â
Girl bit my lip. Like hard enough to draw blood. I'm down for some scratching and biting but this was a bit much. Painful enough to make me see red. Ok, whatever, people get fired up and she didn't mean it like that. I told her that was too much and we both laughed and went back to it, so I figured it was an accident and she was trying to be sexy.
Not a full minute later she does again and bites even harder. She was on top so I threw her to the side, grabbed my clothes, and walked the 3 blocks home. She was saying something as I slammed the door but I didn't hear it. Never spoke to her again.
This goes for everyone: If you don't like something being done to your body and they keep doing it after being told, you walk out and don't owe them a response. It's disrespectful.
Gas.Â
I had a friend of mine around and we have had drunk and smoked a lot. So when we were mid sex she farted and both of us just looked each other and started to laugh for like 10 min. After that we decided that we can't take it serious anymore that day.
That Last Part Felt Unnecessary
Had some casual sex with this really nice girl and she lived with her cousin and her partner who were lesbians.
I think we were both making too much noise as they burst into the room and demanded that I leave immediately.
I tried to reason with them, standing but naked in front of them but they were having none of it.
I felt more sorry for her as she was really embarrassed but it did make a good story for times likes these.
The Wrong Kind Of Thumping
So my girlfriend (at the time) and I were having ourselves a great trip to Pound Town when suddenly I heard the loudest THUMP I've heard in my life. We stopped and looked at each other, thinking, "What the f was that?"
So I get dressed quickly and check the garage, where I thought the sound came from and... nothing. So then I check the front yard and all I saw was a shit of smoke and a motorcycle laying in the grass. Some dumb-ss crashed his motorcycle into our house and ruined our night.
Guy was alright, but the mood was not.
Busy Day At Work
I was so tired that I couldn't stay hard, ended up calling it quits after trying for 15 minutes.
people tend to look at this like something bad.
it happened to me too, fortunately no one made fun of me but i had a friend who was super embarrassed about it and i told him it's normal.
usually guys tend to move a lot more than girls during sex ( in my experience ), and it's only normal that i'm tired.
i had a gf who complained to me that i didn't want to have more than 2 lays at a time and i told her '' well if you move a little we can do it '', she was super offended but actually start moving.
Starting To Come To Your Senses
I came to from a blackout and just sort of pushed her legs away and got dressed and walked out of her apartment.
No reason.
I was just super drunk. Woke up on a nearby friend's ground floor balcony. His roommate was pretty shocked and weirded out when I knocked on the balcony door in the morning asking to charge my phone. Man, your early 20s are a weird time.
A Blood Red Flag
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Not exactly mid intercourse, but this guy (one night stand) and I were making out, taking each other's clothes off etc, when I asked if he had a condom.
Him: Oh don't worry. We don't need that.
Me: Yeah we do...
Him: What for? It's not like they even work. It's just a scam by big condom companies.
Me : (After a moment of silence) Are you dumb???
Him : Come on! You women just need to learn to take more risks. You'd have a lot more fun if you did. Hahaha!!
Me : Get the f out right f-ing now.
...WHO?
In our drunken state, having sex in a field behind her house, she said, "Jason, just take the condom off"
My name is not Jason. Not even close.
Okay, Now, See? That's A Good Reason.
One time I was going at it and she suddenly seemed to be in pain.
I stopped and ended up calling an ambulance.
Her appendix had exploded, mid sex.
A Lot Of Farm References
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So I was 19 and in my first relationship, me and my first girlfriend were at it and she enjoyed moaning loudly and talking dirty. This was far from the first time we had been intimate, this was about 6 months into our 14 month relationship. I grew up in a rural place (on a farm in my teens, funnily enough) and she grew up in a big city near the capital.
She kept saying stuff like "farmer boy" and then telling me to "plough her like my potato field." Initially I laughed like hell at the latter comment because it was pretty funny, if a little odd and we carried on but then she began to make animal noises and it just got too f-ckin' weird for me.
Enough was enough, I pretended to finish and then got dressed and went out to grab a coffee to kinda' forget out it. She apologized profusely when I got back an hour later and realised she went too far. All was good :)
Ok, who is watching the clock? Those seconds aren't going to count themselves. The only way to understand time is to be its witness. Although that can get depressing. Let's focus on the light and cool.
History...
Calculate Figure It Out GIF by OriginalsGiphy"If you are an 80-year-old American, you have lived through approximately 1/3 of our nation's entire history."
Those Days...
"The 80s were 40 years ago."
"This is what messes me up because I was born in 82 and graduated high school in 2000 so for some reason my brain is stuck on the 80's being twenty years ago. The 70's thirty years ago etc etc. I have to stop and realize sometimes that my concept of how long ago things happened is way off."
Time goes by...
"We observe that light travels at 186,000 miles a second, but given the vast size of the observable universe, that's a snail's pace. But from the point of view of a particle of light, time doesn't even exist."
"Time slows down as you approach the speed of light, and theoretically stops completely when you reach the speed of light."
Years Gone By...
"MLK Jr. and Anne Frank were born in the same year."
"Betty White was born in 1922. Automatically pre-sliced packaged bread loaves became commercially available in 1928. Betty White is six years older than sliced bread."
Long Live the Queen!
queen elizabeth images GIFGiphy"The queen and Marilyn Monroe would've been the same age."
"And Marilyn Monroe and Andy Griffith were born on the same day!"
- osme1
I swear Liz is going to outlive dirt. Wait, I believe she already has. Well she won't be alone, she'll have Betty White. At least she better have Betty. Time is nothing without Queen Betty.
TV Time
Season 2 Omg GIF by Paramount+Giphy"Happy Days was a TV show made in the 1970s-80s about teenagers in the 1950s. Similarly, That 70s Show was made in the 90s-00s about teenagers in the 70s. If a similar show were to be made today, it would be about teenagers in the 2000s."
- VVillyD
A Croc
"If a T-Rex imagined a creature as ancient as the T-Rex is to us, it would be a Stegosaurus. If that Stegosaurus imagined a creature as ancient as the Stegosaurus is to us, it would be a Crocodile. If that Crocodile imagined a creature as ancient as that Crocodile is to us, it would be a Shark."
On the Clock
"On a twenty four hour clock the amount of time that humans have been on the earth would total around five seconds."
"How about this one: If Homo Habilus first appeared at midnight, 24 hours ago, that means the first Homo Sapiens appeared at 9:25 PM, or about 2 and a half hours ago. The first human civilization, in lower Mesopotamia, appeared at 11:57 PM, or about 3 minutes ago."
"The Western Roman Empire fell at 11:59 PM, or 1 minute ago. Everything that has happened since - the Crusades, the Plague, the discovery of the New World, the world wars, all of it - has happened in the last minute of human existence."
And that's just OUR Sun...
"The span of our lives are so insignificantly small that our Sun will last another 5 billion years. That's 9 zeros people. Our eldest live to around 100 in the best places. That's 50,000,000 (50 million) times longer than any person can reasonably expect to live. And that's just OUR Sun. The universe as a whole has probably existed for magnitudes longer than that already and will continue to exist until the end of time as we know it."
Tell Me a Story
william shakespeare GIF by will herringGiphy"We know what a good storyteller Shakespeare was but there were Greek playwrights who wrote shows nearly 2,000 years earlier that are pretty good, too."
I hate time. Only because I'm petty and irritated of the amount I squandered. That's neither here nor there though. Time marches on and continues to amaze. I'll keep watching.
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