...You know, sometimes, men just miss the mark. By a lot.
Expect an overabundance of facepalms while reading the following entries.
Reddit user, u/Nermal666, wanted to know what men need to keep their ears open for when they asked:
Guys, what is the most obvious hint from a girl you've missed?
*facepalm
Her: " do you have a girlfriend"
me: "no" (just typing this hurts me she was super cute)
her: "lol really that's so suprising, I don't have a boyfriend"
me: "lol"
*nutty facepalm
GiphyA girl literally confessed her feelings directly to me and I didn't hear it cause I zoned out looking at a squirrel
*camping facepalm
I was fifteen or sixteen, camping with some friends, no parents. Met a girl, who said I could stay in her tent that night.
"No, that's ok, I already have a place to sleep"
*bathroom facepalm
When I was drunkenly flirting with a girl (I never flirt and I'm horrible with girls in general so didn't think I was getting anywhere) and asked her where the bathroom was. She said 'I'll show you' then came in with me and asked what I wanted to do.
Awfully confused I says 'well I want to have a piss, you'll have to leave'.
She said 'oh' and left
Took me about 6 months before I figured that one out
*last day of school facepalm
In 8th grade there was this blonde girl about as tall as I was. Everyday she asked for a hug from Me and I thought it was like how girls hug eachother in a friend way and that she didnt exactly see me as masculine.
Her friend told me on the last day that the girl really liked me the whole time and I just let out a loud "Ohhhhhhhhhhh" in the quiet classroom. I feel a little dumb now but now their conversation in the background made way more sense
*press play facepalm
A girl once burned me a mix CD of almost nothing but love songs. My guy friends and I held a small conference where we listened to the CD in full and tried to see if there was some hidden message there.
We came up with a solid maybe.
There were 6 of us debating this.
*cousin facepalm
I have always had a crush on this girl.
We started texting a bit fir a few months and she says "I love you". I did not reply back for two hours and she later says it was her cousin who texted. Even before she texted this she gave a lot of hints.
F-ck I still regret it
*daddy facepalm
I'mma just say. The "obvious hint" isn't a hint sometimes... I know because. Well. Mine wasn't
I met this girl in middle school and we hit it off right away. We talked all the time, we called, texted 24/7. She was cute and... honestly. Out of my league. In Highschool we had this stupid joke we started where she'd call me daddy all the time. People told me constantly after that, that she had a thing for me. I didn't think so. But people always pointed out how we hugged all the time and even held hands sometimes. So they told me to ask her out... and I did
She told me she only thinks of me as a friend, then stopped being my friend because "it's weird now"... yeah. I miss her sometimes but I honestly don't blame her. I shouldn't have said anything :(
*homework facepalm
She would stare at me constantly during class and we would even occasionally lock eyes. I just thought there was something interesting behind me even though there was only a plain wall behind me.
Then, once in Biology, we were allowed to sit next to whoever we wanted to. My best friend came over to sit next to me but couldn't because she had sat there. Then, my friend jokingly said, "Just because you want to sleep him doesn't mean you get to sit next to him instead of me."
She then replied, "I do actually." Meanwhile, my dumb self just sat there thinking about the homework I had forgotten to do. The whole lesson was filled with her 'accidentally' brushing my hand and her blushing afterwards.
Turns out, she wasn't joking and I completely missed it.
*too baked to facepalm
I was super baked hanging out with some friends, including these girls who were into me, and I asked where the bathroom was. One of the girls said she'd show me, and when we got to the bathroom, she asked if I needed any help.
I was too high to comprehend so I gave her a weird look and said "uh no..." and shut the door. As I was peeing I realized the mistake I made :(
*high school facepalm
I was in high school, and there was this girl that went out of her way to make sure I remembered her name (the orchestra and band rooms were right next to each other and she'd always come and talk to me and point out her name). After school, she'd be at my locker just waiting to talk with me.
I noticed that she would appear at my track and lacrosse practices/games. She'd also move any girls who were near me out of the way so she could constantly walk with me in the halls. I honestly thought nothing of it all.
I didn't see her until 15 years later. The day before I got married, I was driving through my hometown and saw her outside. I parked and spoke with her for a few minutes. She actually pointed out all of those things and boy did I feel stupid. She ended it all by saying that it sounds like I'm marrying a great girl and everything apparently does happen for a reason.
*texting fail facepalm
Her: Do you have girlfriend?
Me: Nope.
Her: Let me help you with that. *sends number*
Me: Thanks!
Idiot me at 18 (29 now) thought she meant I could call her whenever to have support in my loneliness. Really liked her too, so I'm still beating myself up for not getting the more than obvious hint.
*hey facepalm
She kept messaging me on facebook. Literally the start of our whole conversation was basically just her typing "hey" 50 times on 50 different days, sometimes interlaced with one word responses on my part. Her friends also kept asking what I thought about her, and I was still none the wiser.
*cheating facepalm
Yikes. I have so many of these. Here is one:
9th grade. We have seating arrangements that change every new term. I sit on the edge of a rectangular table and next to me sits a cute girl from orchestra class (We both played the violin). One day she tells me she always likes how she can talk to me. I don't know what to do so I mutter an awkward "yeah ok".
A few days later it is a new term and everybody changes seats. Everybody but me and Orchestra girl. I suspect something up so I ask her why we never moved. She gets all awkward and tells me that sitting next to me helps her grades and so she requested the teacher to keep us together. What do I do? Approach the teacher after class and tell her that I suspect Orchestra girl is cheating off of me. The teacher laughs at me and tells me not to worry.
It clicks. . . two years later. I still feel the shame.
*punch yourself in the face facepalm
So it's grade eight, were having a dance to celebrate us going to highschool. this girl I know asks me to find her a date, she says she wants a guy who's tall and has brown hair
"hmmm sounds like me"
aeveryone tells me she's trying to get me to ask her and I thought they were BS-ing me, tenth grade rolls around and apparently she had a huge crush on me...
I was punching myself for weeks afterwards.
*eventually gets it facepalm
Her: Do you have a girlfriend?
Me: No...no one would date me anyway.
Her: I'd date you.
Me: Thanks, but you don't need to pity me.
Her: I would date you
Me: Thanks but...
Her: Are you free on Saturday?
Me: Surprised Pikachu face
And we're going on two years in October
*happily ever after facepalm
Me posting on Facebook: "anyone wanna go hiking this weekend?"
Cute girl: "I'll go."
After a long hike and dinner, I still didn't know I was on a date until I was dropping her off. Seriously thought we were just hiking. We're married now.
Redditor Jakubeu101 was wondering how people really felt about relationships with more than one lover, so they asked:
"What do you think about open relationships?"
It's certainly not for everyone, especially those who have a tendency to get jealous.
Yuck
First Date Dating GIF by OriginalsGiphy"Tried it for a year. Didn't work. It's perpetual dating which is the worst. Then they get jealous."
chewie8291
Avoidance
"All the hassle of 2 (or more) relationships needs to be something everyone involved needs to be okay with. It can be done correctly by couples that really know how to communicate and are strong in conflict resolution. (Usually this also means starting in an open relationship and not opening up later on) Unfortunately many couples use 'opening up the relationship' as a solution to avoid the need to communicate better. Those are doomed from the beginning."
CaelTyr
Shenanigans...
"My parents have been together for 40 years, married for 36. A couple weeks ago we went and stayed with one of my dad's childhood friends. As the wine got flowing, she regaled the rest of us with various stories of the shenanigans they got up to with their other friends. My mom was having the time of her life hearing all these stories she'd never heard before. (this was northern Wisconsin in the early 80s, lots of teenage drunken shenanigans)."
mstarrbrannigan
Consent
"Not for me, but I don't care if everyone's a consenting adult and no one is taken advantage of. The issue IMHO is that if you go from monogamous to open it is shifting the relationship in ways that rarely work, but if you come at it from the start there's decent chances of making it work."
Bi_Aint_Shi
All of It
"I think the idea that you've learned everything and there's nothing else new to know about a person is the first problem. I was in a polyamorous relationship for about a year and even to the end of it was constantly learning things about my partners, their SOs etc."
"I'm now monogamous and married, and years down the road I'm still learning things about my partner. They've lived a whole life before me, it will be many many years before I know 'everything' about them."
Dfnstr8r
Consequences
jealous GIFGiphy"I think it’s one of those things where both partners have to be 100% on board with what it means. There can’t be jealousy and you have to be ok with the idea of your partner sleeping with more people than you possibly. I think most people who consider an open relationship don’t really think about it means so it inevitably fails."
RaijinQ
It's not for everybody. Emotions in check first.
Stronger
Chair Stronger Music Video GIF by Britney SpearsGiphy"I'm in one. Going strong almost 8 years. Requires a ton of communication. Also, what counts as an open relationship varies wildly and the boundaries/rules are determined by the people within the relationship. There is no one size fits all."
nkorper
Bad Ideas
"I met a guy on tinder that was in an open marriage. We went on a few dates, one of which I was surprised to meet his wife and kids."
"They seemed like a happy family, very content with their arrangement. I enjoyed getting to know the guy, but he started to get impatient with how slowly I was moving. I wasn’t comfortable moving forward physically, so we decided to end it. Fast forward a year later, and he ended up committing suicide."
"His wife wasted no time posting online about how awful he was to her. It seems their 20-year open relationship was his game of control. He was a cheater and an abusive husband. I carry some guilt knowing he used me to upset her, and I sat there with a stupid smile on my face."
blahblah-user
Proven False
"Tried it, she screwed some dudes and when I picked up started getting jealous. Most open couples aren't really open. Usually someone wants it (or just wants to cheat without guilt) and someone's getting dragged into, pretending it's okay. Very few true open relationships, it's proven by how many last more than a year."
F33dR
Doing It All
"My husband and I did it...very enthusiastically... For about 6 years. We made the decision to try it after 24 years of marriage and because neither of us had had any other partners before we met. For us it was a fantastic experience. We never had issues with jealousy but we had a very strong relationship with a high degree of trust. We definitely saw a lot of marriages fail due to those issues."
"Eventually we sort of... faded out of it tho. It is just a lot of work. Finding people with the right chemistry-the on line dating scenes, going to the clubs, the meet up's that don't always work: it's exhausting. But for us it was definitely worth it. And if my hubby came to me tomorrow saying that he'd met someone he'd like to screw, I'd still be cool with it."
sabertoothbunni
"guilt free"
"I personally hate them because of an ex. I was pressured to make our relationship open for months, and I really didn't want to. That wasn't the kind of relationship I wanted to have. I later then found out that she was pushing so hard because she was already sleeping with other guys and wanted a 'guilt free' way to cheat on me, and ended up sleeping with three other people that I am aware of."
"Generally I don't mind them if that's what you want and all parties are okay with that situation. I have a friend who does that and he's never been happier in terms of a relationship with someone. But I will refuse to ever do an open relationship with anyone."
A_GuyThatDoesStuff
Not Me
No Way Beer GIF by BuschGiphy"I'm genuinely not a fan, i prefer monogamy as I feel a much closer bond can be created between two people rather than a group. however that is not how it is for everyone."
thra888
Life lesson?
You do you.
Just be honest and really communicate how you're feeling and the boundaries you feel comfortable with.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Redditor CodeBlackGoonit wanted to know what aspects of life will probably forever drive us crazy, so they asked:
"What's something you still don't understand even after many different people explain it to you?"
Math, science, love. I give up trying to figure it out.
The Fit
Giphy"How to properly fold a fitted sheet."
crystalsaladsandwich
"It’s pretty straight forward. Pretend to fold it up for 20 minutes, then just shove it somewhere."
dunnodudes
Beyond
"Fourth dimension."
Ceyram
"Think about describing something's location. 3d world is X, Y, and Z. So you could say 'My keys are on the table, 10 ft in from the front door, 5 ft to the left, and 3ft off the ground.'"
"But you go look, and they're not there. So, add a 4th dimension to your description, when were they there? Things move about in space over a period of time; time is that fourth dimension."
thinkofanamelater
Confusing Concepts
"The Krebs Cycle."
kair93
"In 8 years of higher education, I had to regurgitate and draw the Kreb's cycle on tests probably 15 times or so. I had to temporarily re-learn it every time. I still couldn't draw it today. You need to understand the concept, but the individual steps of the process are something most people will never need to remember."
GiggityDPT
Mash
"Math. Just anything more than the basics and my brain turns to mash."
gardenomette
"If it's a problem for you, look into getting tested for dyscalculia. I was diagnosed with it a few years ago and it was such a relief finding out that I'm not less intelligent, I'm not stupid or slow. That there's actually a reason. I wish they were aware of it all the years I was struggling in school. But I'm happy for the kids growing up now that they might have better access to proper help in those classes."
gardenomette
Bad Hype
Trash Cash GIF by Production ClubGiphy"NFT’s."
LeroyJr847
"There's nothing to understand. They're just another Ponzi scheme, but this time each token has a URL attached to it. They are made of hype."
Great-Contest-1928
These NFTs. Who thought this was a good idea?
Value Craziness
Stan Marsh America GIF by South ParkGiphy"The stock market."
Tinydustbunnies
"Owning very small slices of a company. As the company's value goes up or down, so does the value of the individual slices. Some slices also pay out a share of the profits to the 'owners' (dividends)."
SomeHSomeE
WHICH DOOR?
"The Monty Hall Problem."
foxtrot419
"Do this experiment with a friend. Have them shuffle a full deck of cards, and then have you draw one face down."
"Then, have them look through every single card in the deck for the ace of spades. If they find the ace of spades, select it and place it face down. If they don’t find the ace of spades, instead select a random card and put it face down. Put the rest of the deck aside."
"Now, one of you has the ace of spades. Who is more likely to have it: you, who picked blindly from the full deck, or your friend, who got to see every single card in the deck except yours? I think after a few trials, you will very quickly see why the odds are not 50/50."
MoobyTheGoldenSock
Signs
"The greater than/less than signs, <>. I can't read them and am always confused as to which is what. Honestly don't care anymore, I made it this far this long without understanding them so I don't want to know now. But a lot of people still try to explain it to me, the alligator mouth really confuses me even more."
llcucf80
Magic Watching
"How a dvd works. Or how a record player works, for that matter. Like how does it transfer the little grooves to make… sound and light? Black magic."
lilgato443
"DVDs are pits and hills, and it's all 1s and 0s. So it's just reading a file off of the disc, which is usually a video format, similar to an MP4."
"Vinyls have the sound waveform melted into them, the needle vibrates to recreate the sound. That's the gist of it. One complication is that highs are over emphasized and lows are deemphasized, and the turntable runs the sound through an RIAA filter to get the correct sound."
skaterrj
Educational Issues
animation domination lol GIF by gifnewsGiphy"Monopoly."
Heavy_Permission5704
"It was supposed to be an educational tool about how capitalism and private property ownership funnel wealth into the hands of a wealthy few, at the expense of the working class. Then a corporation copied it, rebranded that as a good thing and sold it as entertainment."
HandsomeHeathen
$$$ Issues
"People who don't make a lot who blow all of their money on stupid things that make it look like they have money, rather than actually getting themselves ahead."
"Can explain. Grew up poor. When the basics are (barely) covered, anything else left is seen as extra or feel good money so it is spent accordingly."
Mike7676
I will never get Monopoly. And I no longer care to.
Do you have anything to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear from the types of people strangers online prefer keeping a distance from, Redditor KnownNormie asked:
"What type of person could you never be friends with?"
Some people like in the following examples should be put in their place.
Too Many Theatrics
"Someone who constantly makes everything dramatic."
– Anxiety_Ridden_Camel
Space Hoggers
"Someone who obviously doesn't care about anyone's boundaries."
– Jay4025
Embracing The Dark
"Guilt Trippers"
"Those who think its cool and edgy to be negative about everything."
– Stormflier
How can people who think the world revolves around them expect to maintain or gain friendships?
All About Me
"Self centered people."
–needtofreemyself
The One-Upper
"Yeah, that gets old really fast. I am a reformed one upper. I would also interrupt people. I was hard to take when I was younger. I didn’t learn to STFU until I was forced to take a sales job and discovered just how crap I was socially. The last twenty years I’ve gotten a lot better and now enjoy listening to other people’s stories more than telling my own."
– MobileAccountBecause
Not My Problem
"The one who always blame others."
– Reasonable-mcArdles
We could all benefit from personal growth.
They Wait For Life To Happen
"Someone who doesn’t want to learn more about life and its intricacies. I only want friends who think deeply about things and can have varied conversations on religion, politics, the world, and all of life. This life is too vast and insane not to seek depth in it.
– Glass-Philosopher302
Don't Take Life Too Seriously
"Someone who is always serious and can't take a joke. As well as someone who gets offended on the behalf of others."
– HoarderOfPaper
These are hard "no's."
You Can Bet Your Life On It
"a serial killer."
– LongjumpingReturn555
All Creatures Great And Small
"Someone who doesn't like animals."
– InterestingMall8958
It's complicated to categorize exactly the kind of person I would prefer to not to be friends with, but I know that one of my biggest pet peeves that can jeopardize how much effort I put into all kinds of relationships is a person's lack of punctuality.
It says a lot about an individual who is perpetually late outside of an acceptable window between 5 and 15 mins–with a heads up about their tardiness.
If they're always punctual in regards to work obligations and business meetings but very late to meeting up with you for a coffee date, you're clearly not important enough for them to make an effort to avoid keeping you waiting.
And I got no time for that.