Boys play with boy things, girls play with girl things. That is an old, outdated line of thought that needs to squashed. We can all have fun in all things. When I was coming of age my friends and I were constantly bombarded with boundaries, especially on the things that brought us joy. Isn't that odd? Why would you try to co-op something specifically designed to create fun? Because that's how the generations before were also taught. Well... the times they are a changing.
Redditor u/schright_dwute wanted to start compiling a list of what adventures we ALL can partake in gender fluidly post-Covid by asking... Males of reddit, what is something you like that is generally considered feminine or "for girls"?During our adolescent years my friend Jackie would always want to play with my GI Joes; mainly because she thought soldiers were handsome and one day planned to marry one. As do we all. She would give me her barbies and then we would have a lovely tea. Consistently her parents would come across us and scold us for swapping and have us swap back. Our friends also thought it was odd during playtime.
This would make Jackie incensed. She wanted to play with the soldiers. (So did I but for different reasons) So when she wouldn't get her way, she would behead all of the dolls and toss their bodies out her third-story bedroom window. I myself was never a doll person either way. But I appreciated her drama. In this day and age, men have much calmer reactions to wanting to participate in things that are designated "feminine." And they are discovering a whole new world.
Bring it in bro
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Hugging your friends could be nice.
I feel this. I spent years being really insecure and would not initiate a hug, and when I did hug it would be really awkward. I'm over that now, but now we're in a pandemic so... sucks to be me?
Dance Away
Dancing ballet. I was a dancer for years, mostly hip hop and acrobatic before I tried ballet. Wish I would have gotten into it sooner. I didn't start until I was 23. Both yoga and ballet really help with body control. Which to me, means reducing the risk of injury from other physical activities. I did it for about 8 years. I noticed an improvement in my other forms of dance pretty quickly. I'll probably go back to dancing next year.
You Don't Bring Me Flowers...
I've never understood why the only pretty, feminine delicate things men were supposed to like were women. Makes no sense.
I'm not supposed to like flowers, but I'm supposed to like a woman that's pretty like a flower? What kind of sense does that make?
It is really silly when you think about it. The people who came up with that logic are the same people who think a little boy playing with a Barbie will make him gay. Surely the best way to instill straightness in little Johnny is to only let him play with muscular G.I. Joes and nearly naked pro-wrestling action figures. That will somehow teach him to like girls.
Good hygiene is an imperative aspect of life. Who doesn't like a luxurious shower and a clean body? And aren't we all attracted and drawn to people who smell good? For years society has complimented women on their fruity or fresh hair scent, or the soothing smell of a body oil or shower gel. And all the while men just had industrial soaps. Well look out world the boys have discovered the eucalyptus. And they are never going back.
No Shame
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Currently using my housemates "glitter unicorn" shower foam and I unashamedly love the way it makes me smell every day.
Scent of a...
I love lavender, vanilla, and baby powder scented things.
I accidentally bought a baby powder version of my normal deodorant and loved it. I can't seem to find it anywhere these days though.
It's funny to me how some scents are considered feminine.
"mandarin orange and mango"
I accidentally bought women's shower gel once and now use nothing else. It just smells so much better.
I also like that the name on the bottle usually implies what the scent is. The "mandarin orange and mango" scent actually smells like that, while I'm still unsure what XTREME WOLF RUSH smells like, unless it's the toilet at a furry con after a wave of e. Coli.
Coochie-Coo
I shave my face with this stuff called "Coochie Cream." It's a brand of shave butter that, according to my ex-girlfriend, is very popular amongst strippers. I have to shave every other day and I swear by the stuff.
I used that back when I was shaving my head, it works amazingly.
And sometimes it's the simple pleasures in life. Why is it not masculine to sit and enjoy a nice chamomile tea? Who decided what makes a man less a man by the way he derives rapture. Everyone needs a safe space and maybe when they're there they want to read a book or bedazzle a towel. Don't judge.
Everyone needs blankets...
Crocheting. It's very relaxing and you create useful things. But almost every pattern I find is some kind of female clothing or accessory. There are pet toys but those are the only exceptions.
Have you heard of The Crochet Dude?
Also afghans/blankets are a good way to go. They take quite a bit of time to make but are easy to make more masculine or unisex.
Also amigurumi is pretty cool. I suppose stuffed critters can be considered "girly," but there is such a wide variety that it would be worth checking out if you haven't already!
Fan the Flames...
I knew a (really wonderful) dude who told me he wanted to start buying candles because he'd recently talked himself into buying plants and liked how much they spruced up his apartment. It struck me as so wild that buying plants and candles was like... not a thing he considered doing because it was very aesthetic/ambience-focused and he'd broadly heard that was "feminine."
As a woman, there's definitely some stuff you don't think of as feminine until you talk to a man who's been told otherwise.
My Locks
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I'm a guy with hair down to the bottom of my shoulder blades. One evening, I was hanging out with a bunch of friends when one of them decided she wanted to braid my hair. Oh my God did it feel amazing! I love the feeling of someone else playing with my hair.
It's a new world in the realm of gender boundaries... finally. I myself have never cared about a gender boundary. As I child, I loved a good, sassy high heel. And I didn't care who new it. And I never understood why anyone would. I've just grown out of them, Lord they are rough on concrete. But if a buff, Texas born construction worker wants to blow off some steam in a heightened Jimmy Choo while sipping prosecco with his boys at a rodeo bar. Then so be it. If he's smiling while doing it, he earned it.
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It’s weird how much stuff we let slide when we’re kids. Even if you look at the TV shows we watched back then, we had such a high threshold for the bizarre (early 2000’s Nickelodeon, anyone?). So it’s no surprise that some of us straight-up didn’t react when we saw weird crap in person.
Here are a few wild examples of seemingly harmless things we saw as kids that would be horrifying to see now. Brace yourself, this one gets crazy.
Kids and water aren’t a great mix sometimes. It can get real gross, real quick.
Not worth the tranquility.
I've always loved the tranquil feeling of being under water. When I was a kid I would just hold my breath and float around. Sometimes adults would think I was drowning and run up and scoop me out. I don't remember this (it was when I was pretty young) but my parents have told me about it
I used to think it was a funny story... people thinking I was drowning when I was just trying to relax
....until I watched a video explaining child drownings and yeah, the way I acted in water looked exactly like a drowned kid.
I don't think it's funny anymore.
Uhhhhhh.....ew?
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Flood water. It was fun and games for the kids, and we even splashed around in it, much to the horror of our parents (who immediately scrubbed us down). We didn't understand then, but now, oh wow...sewer, insects, rats, parasites, etc.
That’s actually hilarious.
My friend and I were walking along the road in about thigh high flood waters. A small boat with two men comes up to us. We were about 9 years old and I think they were National Guard. Anyway, one of the men asks if we remembered exactly where the manholes in the road were. We answered no. He told us that all of the covers had most likely been washed away in the flood but not to worry because it would probably only take them a few days to find our bodies if we were sucked down one of the holes by currents they produced. He spoke in a matter of fact tone and then left.
As an adult, I have zero doubt those two men had a good laugh as they looked back and watched us nope out of that water like two roadrunners in a cartoon.
Edit: It was Fish and Game Wardens. The NG didn't come until later.
Not to mention the crazy injuries that kids somehow are constantly surrounded by.
Had a jogger get hit by a car outside my house once when I was about eight or nine. My nephew came running inside yelling at my parents and my sister to call the ambulance because he was bleeding pretty badly.
I could even see him from our playrooms window and I wondered what he was doing lying on the grass. Turns out he was bleeding out pretty badly, deliriously yelling at my parents when they tried to help.
Eventually, an ambulance came and picked him up, but my parents always told me he made it out okay. The day after, in the spot he was found someone had put a lily in the grass in a vase.
It took me longer than I care to admit to figure out he died from the hit and run.
How sharp were they, though?
A kid f*cking sharpened his fingers with an automatic pencil sharpener at grade 2. Everyone didn't know what was going on until the teacher started freaking out.
I just remembered I tried to stick my finger into electric pencil sharpeners as a kid and disliked how my fingers were too big to fit in it. What the hell was I thinking?
Rock climbing can definitely be dangerous.
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We did climbing in PE (sixth to eight grade). Like rock climbing and we had to do our own harness and stuff. PE teacher (supposedly) checked it after we were done to make sure it was done right. One day my neighbor broke an arm and leg because she wasn't properly strapped and fell.
This was at an international American school in Egypt around year 2000, for all those wondering what type of school does rock climbing.
Kids are, in fact, made of elastic.
We used to jump of our roof. First time hurt a little, but after a few times you learnt how to land.
Did it regularly and would try various items as 'parachutes' to see if it slows you down any.
I look at that height now and wonder how the hell we never broke anything - kids bones are more elastic I guess.
It’s amazing what adults can get away with right under kids’ noses.
A casual hit-and-run.
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My babysitter was running late to take me to piano lessons and rear ended an old man at a stoplight. She told me that he must not have noticed because he didn't get out of his car. I thought nothing of it, and she drove away and took me to my piano lesson.
I forgot about it, and it didn't click until I remembered the incident years later that I had been unknowingly involved in a hit and run.
Big yikes.
Not so much something I saw - but when I was 5 or 6 I was at a family wedding, and there was this really friendly adult guy (who I didn't know) who told me he was really worried about his nice new car in the parking lot and how he wanted to check on the car but didn't want to leave the wedding.
He asked if I could go check on it and he would pay me $5 just to go see if his car was "okay" being that age $5 was a crazy amount of money so I couldn't believe my luck.
On the way to the parking lot, my mom intercepted me and was absolutely horrified, I remember not understanding why, like trying to tell her no she had it wrong he was nice and paying me! And as an adult now I'm like that's so messed up and I wonder how close a call that could have been.
Go grandma!
Until the age of 12 my grandma had custody of me. I used to sleep with her and she slept with a baseball bat next to her bed. It wasn't until I was much older that I realized she did it dads friends wouldn't be able to do anything to me.
Dad was a drug addict and drunk and when he was out of prison he had all kinds of people in and out of the house. You would never know what would be missing the next day - often my Nintendo :(
She did everything she could to protect me from God knows who/what and I had zero clue!
Edit: Damn this blew up while I was sleeping!! Thank you so much to everyone for the support :)
Im adding extra details to help understand the situation.
My grandmother was born in 1914, had a third grade education and was a housewife her entire life. She was already 71 when I was born! My grandpa died when I was 4 and it was just her and I. We lived in a tiny 2 bedroom house in a terrible neighborhood. It was paid off and that's all she could afford. She lived off of the social security death benefits from my grandpa and food banks. She couldn't just "leave" and go anywhere else.
Also, for those suggesting she should have called the cops - cops don't do anything if you say "I'm scared these guys will do something bad" cops have to wait till something bad happens.
She did her very best and raised my right! Now my father is back in prison (shocker) and is pissed at me for not letting the past be in the past and welcoming him with open arms. Meanwhile I'm a 2x college graduate with a great job, my own house and recently married! She definitely did something right. Unfortunately she died when I was 12. Id give anything to be able to tell her how grateful I am to her for doing everything right.
We see some scary stuff as kids. No wonder most of us are so messed up years later. Often these things don’t even register as something terrible- a lot of times, the things we witnessed were just a part of life.
The best we can do is to take our trauma, and learn from it, so we don’t pass it down to our own children. Because kids don’t deserve it- they deserve to have happy childhoods and not think about the horrors of the world.