Relationships can be difficult, and a good relationship will always require some compromises.
Sometimes people change over time. If it gets to the point that all you're doing is compromising or excusing the other party's behavior, you've no longer got a relationship.
Reddit user u/pharmapharmacy asked:
She was on the rebound from an engagement with a guy by the same name and had only been in town for a couple hours before we met. She always wanted me around, which I found flattering, and believed it was because she really cared and liked the things I did. As it turned out, she was pathologically unable to spend time alone, and just adapted her personality to whoever she was around. I needed to work, and was gone 8-12 hrs/day, so I moved us back near her family and friends where she grew up so she wouldn't be lonely. She became a different person because of that and we divorced. Same thing happened to the next guy. And the one after, I presume; I lost track.
That's really sad, actually. She sounds co-dependent. I know a friend like that, and it's truly heartbreaking watching her go from personality to personality, trying to be what she thinks someone else wants. It's exhausting and heartbreaking for her partners, too. At the end of it, everyone ends up feeling tired and betrayed.
I was very sick, puking, shaking, sweating, and feeling like I was close to passing out on the bathroom floor.
He was playing on his phone the entire time. Not scared of puke, just completely uninterested in my well-being.
Not me but what my mum heard from her MIL the day after she married my dad.
"I don't know why ___ got married, he's not a family man."
My mum thought she was just being cynical of her son, but she was 100% correct.
That his mom was a damn lunatic. She could be your best friend or worst enemy, sometimes in the same day.
Did she ruin the relationship or did he begin to take on his mom's traits?
Good question, a little of both. She was also a habitual liar, and that's the trait he took on the most. He would forget what the true story was and tell his version to people that all knew better - just got sad by the end of our relationship.
Oh yes, many red flags. I guess he wasn't 'completely' different after marriage.. He cheated on me a bunch, I forgave it all, then 2 months after the wedding he told me he was polyamorous. TOLD me, didn't ask if it's something we could try, whatever. So he started dating and sleeping with other women.
I was a total dumbass. He figured I was such a doormat before the wedding, that after it, he could really get away with whatever he wanted.
We are divorced, and I'm happier than I've ever been with a new man who has eyes only for me.
Glad you're out and doing well.
I mean, there's nothing that says you can't be legitimately polyamorous and also an @sshole.
He told me he wasn't happy with his 1st wife--no biggie. He'd been married once before (I'd been married once before). Not a red-flag. He'd never say anything bad about her, though. She wasn't crazy. He just 'tuned out' of the relationship.
About a year into the marriage, He tuned out of our relationship. He wasn't abusive---he just wasn't "there". He stopped communicating, stopped having sex with me, wouldn't discuss the problem much less anything else. Then he told me he didn't want to be married anymore. I tried to fix it for months but when I was sent to a new state for my job for a 6 month assignment and he categorically refused to come visit me (even when I offered to pay his travel expenses), I realized he wasn't 'coming back'. He was just going through the motions, like an automaton. I told him I wanted a divorce. The next Christmas he called me, drunk, and said he missed me, everything was his fault and he knew it. I told him to come to marriage counseling with me and we could fix this. He refused. He was with someone new not long after, so I heard on the grapevine.
I don't stalk him on line but I have a feeling anyone he marries will find him 'tuning out' in a year. Marriage is like a 'prison' to him. Once he says the vows and he's tied in, he feels trapped, so he emotionally leaves until you leave him---absolving him of the guilt. You were the one who left, after all. I feel really sorry for anyone who ends up with him. He was the greatest guy ever, really seductive in the beginning, flowers, romance, the works. A real charmer, great husband for the first 6-9 months and them BAM! He's off leaving you wondering what you did 'wrong' and why he didn't love you anymore. Which makes it so much harder to get over. If he'd at least abused me or cheated on me (or I'd caught him cheating?) or he had some other horrible flaw, I could have walked away with at least a sense of self-righteous rage to sustain me.
My ex fiance after I asked her to marry me became clingy. She would call me and text through my entire work day and then if I didn't respond quick enough I'd get a passive aggressive text, voicemail, or email about how she feels like I'm cheating on her. Eventually I was tired of the accusation and the apologies i had given even though I did nothing wrong.
She was a liar for attention. She tried telling me she was a twin, she wasn't. It was just minor things that to me just seemed stupid. She would lie about how she used to train dogs (she used to be a groomers assistant). She talked about everything she had plans for and seemed relatively put together.
Once we got married her lying didn't stop. Mainly when I asked "are you on tinder?"
I got sick for a few years and she told me "I didn't sign up for this." Should have broken up then.
People are defending this as "honesty." I think it's a major red flag. It's one thing to express something like that in a serious conversation about the future. It's another to just say it for no reason.
My ex used to say, "if I ever feel X way I'll leave you and take my kids with me." Yeah...we weren't even married yet and didn't have kids.
His family had f*cked up boundaries. And he had no opinions of his own when it came to them.
I wish I'd spotted this one ahead of time too. Having a f*cked up family isn't a big deal, there's skeletons in every closet. But sweeping it under the rug and pretending life is fine while people constantly violate your boundaries and privacy? That can destroy relationships.
There were a million red flags, but I ignored all of them. How they treat literally everyone else will be how they treat you. If they lied to everyone, you can bet they do it to you too. I am an idiot, but now hopefully a wiser idiot. Probably not though. Keep walking into the same brand of rake.
What his ex wife said about him as a parent. He told me that she was lying and that he did all of the work when they were together, she was lazy and wouldn't clean the house, and that she only cared about partying with her friends. Once I had a baby with him, I realized she was completely honest and I was on my own.
When I met her parents and all they did was yell at each other.
Turns out that's how she thought couples should communicate.
It didn't end well.
Went through something similar with my husband. We had to learn how to fight. I am sorry she didnt feel like compromising or exploring another way to do things where both parties feel they can be heard.
Never married but I was engaged. He was very smart and went to an Ivy League school and once told me a monkey could do my job. Always thought he was better than me and smarter than me and would put me down in front of his friends. Just brushed it all off. His self righteousness and never admitting he was wrong because he was so much smarter and better than me so I must be the wrong one all the time is what made me call off the wedding. Happy I dodged that bullet but pretty upset I let so many red flags slide for so long. Turns out I'm not always wrong and I'm actually pretty smart.
Weird thing, but she couldn't be wrong.
Where I didn't pick up on the red flag was she could not be WRONG. She wasn't a know it all. She would admit if she was unsure. But if she put forth anything, a belief, a memory, she treated it like gospel truth. She could be ignorant, undecided, but not WRONG.
This lead to horrible arguments where she would refuse to believe how she remembered something, even if 3 other people were backing me up, happened.
This happened after we got engaged and realized a month before marriage. I realized my fiance was selfish and only cared about herself. I finally had enough and broke it off with her and ate the cost of the wedding and it was the best decision I ever made. It was her second failed engagement and 10 years later she is still single and looking to rope another schmuck into her web. Saw her on a dating app and noticed she cut off 5 years off her age just a few months back, had a good laugh.
The biggest red flag I missed was early on we brought photo albums to a coffee date to share stories about our families etc. She brought two whole albums of photos of just herself in different outfits. I thought it was weird, but thought perhaps she wasn't comfortable sharing photos of her family yet. Turns out she only cares about herself and that I was right to be concerned and should've gone with my gut instincts early on.
The most obvious red flag that I ignored was the pre-wedding planning. Prior to being engaged my desires were acknowledged and provided for or promised.
As we began planning the wedding, my opinion was not relevant unless it was to say "Yes, I agree with you". I was either being difficult, I was ignored, or we were made for each other!
This behavior continued through the marriage. She would ask my advice, if I didn't care I was an ahole and she would do what she wanted. If I said no, I was an asshole and she would do what she wanted. If I said Yes - I at least wasn't an asshole.
Compromise needs to work both ways.
My husband and I got married kind of young. He was a workaholic when we met, very easy going, & was happy to stay home & chill instead of going out. He seemed to enjoy going out more the longer we were together, but I always had to be the one to make plans, or we'd never leave the house. The one thing I really wish I would have paid attention to was my concerns about how his family treated me, & his lack of concern for how I felt about it. He always dismissed my concerns. When I would tell him that they clearly didn't like me based on things they said to me, I was told I was over reacting.
I guess I thought their feelings towards me would change or that he would hear my concerns & believe what I was saying. I should have paid more attention to the fact that he never seemed to believe what I was saying his family was saying to me, & he always took their side. This has been a trend throughout our marriage, & after 28 years of what turned into a very dysfunctional marriage, we're getting divorced. I wish I would have seen from the beginning that he was always putting me & my feelings last. It was always up to me to fix, change, or do things in our marriage.
I was in a relationship with a woman a decade older than me and she had a big personality. It was charming at first, until it wasn't. I was pretty young then (like 20ish) and reallllly naive. I just followed her every word because I thought she must be right. After all, she was a decade older than me. She would constantly put me down and make fun of the things that I liked. She would talk poorly about me in public, and the sad thing was my self esteem was so low, I just agreed with her. It didn't help that everyone around us called her "authentic" and "real," meaning that she was supposedly straight-forward and honest. Turns out; she was just very, very bitter and a bully.
A lot of her friends and coworkers, came forward about her manipulative and awful behavior. A couple of mentors and friends had to step in for me because they saw the emotional abuse happening. It took me a long time to realize what actually was going on and all the ways it affected, and sometimes still affects me. I've definitely got trust issues because of that.
I was talking to a girl for about two weeks and she went thru my phone. Usually, I would immediately walk away because that's insane. She found nothing and I decided it was OK because she was the first girl I've liked in awhile and I was tired of screwing around and having one night stands.
Fast forward 8 months and I find out she had hacked into my Instagram, Facebook and snapchat. And guess what, again found nothing. The relationship became toxic when I changed all my passwords and she was constantly questioning what I was doing and where I was.
I shouldve walked away the very first time she went thru my phone 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
There are few things more satisfying than a crisp $20 bill. Well, maybe a crisp $100 bill.
But twenty big ones can get you pretty far nonetheless.
Whether it's tucked firmly in a birthday card, passing from hand to hand after a knee-jerk sports bet, or going toward a useful tool, the old twenty dollar bill has been used for countless purposes.
Breaking Even<p>"I got a jacket and a pair of jeans at goodwill for about $20. My first time wearing the jacket I found a tiny zipper inside a pocket."</p><p>"There was a secret inner pocket with a twenty in it."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdv70q?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TheBrontosaurus</a></p>
Keeps On Giving<p>"23 Years ago I was in the US for some work and was not prepared for the cold of Chicago. Went to wal-mart and bought myself a cheap, warm jacket."</p><p>"I'm wearing that jacket right now - still looks fine, still keeps me warm."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpe41xv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">TastyEnd</a></p>
As Good As They Come<p>"Wool pinstripe double breasted suit from Goodwill, fit perfectly and was brand new. Ended up wearing it to get married the next year." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdw6mx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">verminiusrex</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"God I love Goodwill!!" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpe5aee?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Neverthelilacqueen</a></p>
The Socks She Needed<p>"I work at a thrift shop. A homeless lady came in and asked us where the socks were. We only sell new socks, so I directed her towards the new socks and she was... shocked and disappointed by the price tag, surely."<br></p><p>"I gave her a moment as she looked, and she moved to some kids' socks and picked them up, and I... just couldn't let that happen. I told her that I would help her, and told her to get herself some socks and a jacket."</p><p>"She kind of just... held out the children's socks, so I took them, put them back, and grabbed the extra fluffy socks that were hanging."</p><p>"She grabs a jacket and some pants, and I pay for it. My coworker looks the other way since we're not supposed to purchase anything while on the clock. The lady is in tears as she walks out."</p><p>"I notice that she's still outside a minute later putting them on, and ask her if they fit her or if she needed something else; and she told me they were perfect and proceeded to cry. I cried in return."</p><p>"It was a good day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpen3w1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Snowodin</a></p>
Not Forgotten<p>"A guy came into my work when I managed a mom and pop Pizza Place. He said he was stranded with no phone, and no money, but that the people at the Verizon store next door to us said they could get him a cheap phone with some minutes on it for 20 bucks."</p><p>"He offered to do dishes for a few hours to make some money so he could get this phone. I told him not to worry about it and gave him a 20 from my wallet. He thanked me, asked me for my name, and then he left and I never saw him again."</p><p>"Skip forward about 5 months, and when I get into work the owner was there and said she had gotten a letter addressed to me. 'Weird,' I thought."</p><p>"But when I opened it there was a 50 dollar bill and a short note from the guy I gave 20 dollars to thanking me for my kindness and for not turning him away."</p><p>"Turns out he was in a bad way (addicted to hard drugs and homeless) and really was stranded there. He was trying to get a phone so he could contact his parents (who lived in another state) for help."</p><p>"From what it sounded like, he seemed to really turn his life around. He was clean and working a stable job while still living with his parents."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpem2xc?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mixmaster-McGuire</a></p>
The Best Finale<p>"It was the day before payday. My wife came to see me at work. My break was in an hour, so I asked for her to wait a bit, so we could enjoy it together. She did."</p><p>"I bought her some lunch, because it was what I could afford. I bought her a ham and cheese sub sandwich and two iced teas. These were her favorite. I bought gas with the rest of the twenty so she could get home. She dropped me back off at work."</p><p>"That night, she passed away. It brings me comfort to know that I bought her favorite sandwich and drink for her that afternoon. It was likely the last thing she ate, since it was near dinner. I'll never forget it. Best $20 I ever spent, because it was for her."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpe9c6d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">LollipopDreamscape</a></p>
Leaning Into the Nerdery<p>"It was my ninth or tenth birthday. My grandparents gave me $20. The first $20 bill I ever held in my hand! I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it."</p><p>"A week later, we went into the city and Toys R Us. I went straight to the Transformers aisle. And there he was. My favourite Transformer. The one I always wanted...Soundwave."</p><p>"He's the one who turned into a Walkman and he could eject cassettes that turned into robot animals. The price tag said $19.99. It was meant to be."</p><p>"I took Soundwave to the clerk and gave her my $20 bill. "And here's your change!" she said, as she gave me a single penny."</p><p>"Ah, Soundwave. The best friend a lonely little nerd could have."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdzzxe?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">originalchaosinabox</a></p>
Different Time<p>"I went to a Rush concert in 1982. The ticket was $9.50 and the t-shirt was $10." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdyr0k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PaulsRedditUsername</a></p>
Motivational Spending<p>"My then six year old niece had a loose tooth she loved to show off and had resisted pulling out for two weeks. We were all at my parents and I was getting ready to leave, I pulled out a $20 and said 'I'll give you this right now if you pull out your tooth.' "</p><p>"She was already crying because her little sister had did something so when she ran into the bathroom none of us had no idea in what she was about to do."</p><p>"So she comes out crying still, but a little bit of blood I'm her mouth because of course, she pulled out her tooth. But the now removed tooth fell down the drain to the sink and she was crying because she lost her proof!"</p><p>"After she calmed down she was happy as a clam with a brand new $20 and everyone was quite proud of her. My sister told me she spent it on candy and shared with her little sister."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpdxi4k?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">themasimumdorkus</a></p>
For the Story<p>"It was actually to a scammer in Rome. There was this guy right outside of Colosseum who started tying strings around my wrist and told me to make a wish. I knew it was going to cost but I thought what the hell, last day in Rome so might as well go with it. </p><p>"My wish was to find love."</p><p>"I spent rest of the day getting lost in the city and stumbled across two weddings and one baptism ceremony. So I did find love, just not for myself."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lvu5aq/whats_the_best_20_you_ever_spent/gpe7b2w?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">FatalFinn</a></p>
I realize that school safety has been severely compromised and has been under dire scrutiny over the past decade and of course, it should be. And when I was a student, my safety was one of my greatest priorities but, some implemented rules under the guise of "safety" were and are... just plain ludicrous. Like who thinks up some of these ideas?Redditor u/Animeking1108 wanted to discuss how the education system has ideas that sometimes are just more a pain in the butt than a daily enhancement... What was the dumbest rule your school enforced?
Don't Peek<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDc4OS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzNDE0Mzc2OH0.Y1Lzy1MTqxyVqOCe9xjeHTRZsKnbyVjYzdb4-Heldyo/img.gif?width=980" id="78b19" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="e14a90be026b734830e7661f776ba4a8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="475" data-height="475" />schitts creek wtf GIF by CBCGiphy<p>Took all the doors off the men's room bathroom stalls because of vandalism for 2 months.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gphrfce?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Endless_Vanity</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Endless_Vanity/" target="_blank"></a></p>
Scanned<p>School added thumb print scanners at gates of school which counted as registration - needless to say I would just walk to school scan my thumb and walk back home with them none the wiser. Was a great few months until they noticed. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpidnou?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">richpianofan5</a></p>
Age of Empires...<p>Conservative Christian College. A group of us played Age of Empires one weekend. They didn't like it and called a meeting. Everyone involved got misdemeanors on their records. There was nothing in the handbook about it being against the rules. The only person that didn't get any punishment was the son of the president even though he was just as involved as the rest of us. <span></span></p>
"Genius"<p>In my freshman year of high school we had a terrible vandalism problem, the bathrooms would be broken in various ways almost constantly. In a stroke of pure genius, the staff decided that any bathroom that was vandalized would be closed for the week on first offense, the quarter for second, and permanently on the third offense.</p><p>They took back the rule after closing every bathroom on day one. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpi77co?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Samus388</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Samus388/" target="_blank"></a></p>
Is this Footloose?<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDc5Ny9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYzMzg0MjU2M30.PeBUt-YWZeeRStaD_RZlGPQzo29E9t733yqZbIiJlYs/img.gif?width=980" id="3a5bd" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="102730e3b1b90ba9cb393561c702c9af" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="500" data-height="500" />kevin bacon dancing GIF by STARZGiphy<p>Prom was a mandatory lockdown for the night in order to avoid students going to parties after prom.</p><p>Prom was held at various house parties across town instead. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpi37x7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Coffee-spree</a></p>
HOLDEN FOREVER!!!<p>My high school mascot was Daniel Boone holding a musket. A kid wore a Guns 'n Roses shirt to school and was told he had to change shirts because of the pistols on the shirt. He pointed out the hypocrisy of the school mascot and they changed EVERYTHING. The mascot was switched to holding a flag pole instead. <span></span></p>
No Dots<p>You couldn't wear ANY kind of head items that were "gang colours" (red or blue) - this No included hair bands, scrunchies, beads in your hair, ribbons - ANYTHING. I got in trouble for wearing a blue hair band with white polka dots. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gphzpyf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Pleasant-Flamingo344</a></p>
Clothes Check<p>We had to wear belts. Someone snitched that people weren't wearing belts under their sweaters, and they actually checked and a bunch of people got detentions. Stupid. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gphz3y6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ooo-ooo-oooyea</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gphz3y6?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer"></a>We had belt raids at my school where the dean would burst into classes, completely interrupting any education, to check that everyone was wearing a belt. </p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpia8pp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GuinnessMicrodose</a></p>
Chase the Flat<p>We weren't allowed to play tag football at lunch, only frisbee. When I asked the principal what the difference was, he responded with a sarcastic tone, "A football is round and a frisbee is a flat disk."</p><p>He left the school later that year, went to another school, and a few years later was brought up on charges for failing to report the abuse of a student by a teacher. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpi6lh3?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">uninc4life2010</a></p>
Poke-Thief<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDgwMy9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0ODg5MzY2Nn0.5LMPk1suou6U2SvAURKP-sHEuK7Izpkbxm0PWqvx95E/img.gif?width=980" id="b6e9f" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="92383d30e34aa92fd74cf6c1374ec294" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="480" />hotline bling pokemon GIFGiphy<p>Pokemon cards got banned in middle school because someone stole the vice principal's kid's cards. Yep. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpiapym?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"> Skadoosh_it</a><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Skadoosh_it/" target="_blank"></a></p>
In the Face...<p>If you were involved in a fight, you got suspended. While it sounds reasonable, context didn't matter.</p><p>I got suspended once not for throwing a single punch, kick, whatever. I got suspended because someone knocked the books out of my hand and when I reached down to grab them they punched me in the face.</p><p>I got suspended for walking down the hallway and unprovoked getting punched in the face.</p><p>Forget Brandon Valley Middle School. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lwjlif/what_was_the_dumbest_rule_your_school_enforced/gpicbyx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">CLG_MianBao</a></p>
One of the golden rules of life? Doctors are merely human. They don't know everything and they make mistakes. That is why you always want to get another opinion. Things are constantly missed. That doesn't mean docs don't know what they're doing, they just aren't infallible. So make sure to ask questions, lots of them.Redditor u/Gorgon_the_Dragon wanted to hear from doctors about why it is imperative we always get second and maybe third opinions by asking... Doctors of Reddit, what was the worse thing you've seen for a patient that another Doctor overlooked?
Grandma Wins<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDcxOC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0OTQxNTgzOX0.n9IaFGgHwnULMlI2kg7RUftxDg6lyWvdM9CnhvptCRY/img.gif?width=980" id="a0857" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="9762f97a23c27ccf6b75974caa854361" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="480" data-height="270" />Old Lady Wine GIF by MattielGiphy<p>Not a doctor, but my grandmother saved my father's eyesight because she didn't listen to their doctor. </p>
The Mummy Appendage<p>When I was a resident, an 80yo female was admitted from the nursing home for confusion. Workup showed some mild UTI and we were giving her antibiotics. The nurse mentioned that her toe looked dark and asked me to look at it. The toe wasn't just dark, it was mummified. It looked like dry beef jerky. I touched it and pieces flaked off. So the patient from a nursing home, had a mummified toe, probably for months, that no one knew about. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lw2g2z/doctors_of_reddit_what_was_the_worse_thing_youve/gpg00qn?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Dr2ray</a></p>
The CT Save<p>Here's my story:</p><p>A guy came in to our ICU and was very septic but still talking. He had visited his primary care MD with complaints of a sore throat for a couple of days. Dismissed without any intervention since he didn't appear to have strep throat or the flu. At this point he was having pretty severe abdominal discomfort, so we sent him for a CT scan. As the scan was finishing, he coded and had to be intubated, multi-organ failure, etc. </p>
Patches<p>When I was an ER nurse we got an elderly lady in for altered mental status from a nursing home, when we undressed her to put her in a gown and hook her up to the monitor, I noticed no less than 5 fentanyl patches on her, guess I discovered the cause of the AMS. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lw2g2z/doctors_of_reddit_what_was_the_worse_thing_youve/gpg1lml?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ChewbaccaSlim426</a></p>
Use your Words<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTcxNDcyMi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MDA1NjI0MH0.WtyCdxL1vRZwD2-jpKZXMOEakwhiBaJIkp1YPnOzlvo/img.gif?width=980" id="e45ca" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="f5b98e6a4605a587dbd97579468a51d8" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="498" data-height="367" />Communication GIF by memecandyGiphy<p>Neurologist sent patient to our ED without informing her that imaging showed a glioblastoma assuring her impending death. He didn't overlook the disease, he overlooked the communication. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lw2g2z/doctors_of_reddit_what_was_the_worse_thing_youve/gpfl5t5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AzureSkye27</a></p>
Mad Cow Realty<p>During my residency we had this lady in her 60s who was getting progressively more forgetful, just overall declining and getting less and less able to take care of herself. She had been seeing her pcp who diagnosed her with dementia. And she saw a neurologist who agreed. She was not really able to provide an accurate history. <span></span></p>
After Birth...<p>I used to work in maternal-fetal medicine, and every single week, we would have women referred to us "because the doctor couldn't see something clearly with the baby and wanted to double check." Nope, they just didn't want to have to be the ones to tell you that your baby had a complex cardiac defect or multiple anomalies indicative of a genetic syndrome or any other of a large number of horrible things that can happen during fetal development. Still pisses me off when I think about how many women waited weeks for more information because their doctors were cowards who couldn't tell them, "There's something seriously wrong here." <span></span></p>
bad doctors<p>I'm not a doctor, but a RN. This happened to me, but isn't nearly as bad as most of the stories on here.</p><p>When I was in college, I got to where I couldn't swallow. It started with difficulty swallowing, progressed to me having to swallow bites of food multiple times/regurgitating it, and then got to where all I could swallow was broths and mashed potatoes with no chunks. I went to the doctor multiple times, and was told every time it was acid reflux and part of my anxiety disorder. <span></span></p>
The Valve...<p>He put the pacemaker lead in the subclavian artery (and across the aortic valve into the left ventricle). The proper approach is: subclavian vein to right ventricle). And then he didn't notice it for over a year. I saw the patient (a 25 yo woman who didn't need the pacemaker in the first place) when she was in congestive heart failure. <span></span><br></p>
Bitten<p>Rattlesnake bite. On a 2 year old. Patient and dad out in the fields near a small town that is several hours away from the nearest big city, where I work.</p>
When we think about learning history, our first thought is usually sitting in our high school history class (or AP World History class if you're a nerd like me) being bored out of our minds. Unless again, you're a huge freaking nerd like me. But I think we all have the memory of the moment where we realized learning about history was kinda cool. And they usually start from one weird fact.
Here are a few examples of turning points in learning about history, straight from the keyboards of the people at AskReddit.