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Married People Share The Red Flags They Missed Before Tying The Knot

Married People Share The Red Flags They Missed Before Tying The Knot
paulbr75/Pixabay

Relationships can be difficult, and a good relationship will always require some compromises.

Sometimes people change over time. If it gets to the point that all you're doing is compromising or excusing the other party's behavior, you've no longer got a relationship.


Reddit user u/pharmapharmacy asked:

"Redditors who realized their spouse is a completely different person after marriage, were there any red flags that you ignored while dating? If so, what were they?"

20.

She was on the rebound from an engagement with a guy by the same name and had only been in town for a couple hours before we met. She always wanted me around, which I found flattering, and believed it was because she really cared and liked the things I did. As it turned out, she was pathologically unable to spend time alone, and just adapted her personality to whoever she was around. I needed to work, and was gone 8-12 hrs/day, so I moved us back near her family and friends where she grew up so she wouldn't be lonely. She became a different person because of that and we divorced. Same thing happened to the next guy. And the one after, I presume; I lost track.

-SporkOfThor

That's really sad, actually. She sounds co-dependent. I know a friend like that, and it's truly heartbreaking watching her go from personality to personality, trying to be what she thinks someone else wants. It's exhausting and heartbreaking for her partners, too. At the end of it, everyone ends up feeling tired and betrayed.

-AninOnin

19.

I was very sick, puking, shaking, sweating, and feeling like I was close to passing out on the bathroom floor.

He was playing on his phone the entire time. Not scared of puke, just completely uninterested in my well-being.

-effieokay

18.

Not me but what my mum heard from her MIL the day after she married my dad.
"I don't know why ___ got married, he's not a family man."

My mum thought she was just being cynical of her son, but she was 100% correct.

-whatthefrell

17.

That his mom was a damn lunatic. She could be your best friend or worst enemy, sometimes in the same day.

-saphyress

Did she ruin the relationship or did he begin to take on his mom's traits?

-optcynsejo

Good question, a little of both. She was also a habitual liar, and that's the trait he took on the most. He would forget what the true story was and tell his version to people that all knew better - just got sad by the end of our relationship.

-saphyress

16.

Oh yes, many red flags. I guess he wasn't 'completely' different after marriage.. He cheated on me a bunch, I forgave it all, then 2 months after the wedding he told me he was polyamorous. TOLD me, didn't ask if it's something we could try, whatever. So he started dating and sleeping with other women.

I was a total dumbass. He figured I was such a doormat before the wedding, that after it, he could really get away with whatever he wanted.

We are divorced, and I'm happier than I've ever been with a new man who has eyes only for me.

-ham-gravy

I'm not an expert, but that I'm pretty certain that is not how polyamory works. Dear lord.

Glad you're out and doing well.

-lux_ehterna

I mean, there's nothing that says you can't be legitimately polyamorous and also an @sshole.

-eleven_tentacles

15.

He told me he wasn't happy with his 1st wife--no biggie. He'd been married once before (I'd been married once before). Not a red-flag. He'd never say anything bad about her, though. She wasn't crazy. He just 'tuned out' of the relationship.

About a year into the marriage, He tuned out of our relationship. He wasn't abusive---he just wasn't "there". He stopped communicating, stopped having sex with me, wouldn't discuss the problem much less anything else. Then he told me he didn't want to be married anymore. I tried to fix it for months but when I was sent to a new state for my job for a 6 month assignment and he categorically refused to come visit me (even when I offered to pay his travel expenses), I realized he wasn't 'coming back'. He was just going through the motions, like an automaton. I told him I wanted a divorce. The next Christmas he called me, drunk, and said he missed me, everything was his fault and he knew it. I told him to come to marriage counseling with me and we could fix this. He refused. He was with someone new not long after, so I heard on the grapevine.

I don't stalk him on line but I have a feeling anyone he marries will find him 'tuning out' in a year. Marriage is like a 'prison' to him. Once he says the vows and he's tied in, he feels trapped, so he emotionally leaves until you leave him---absolving him of the guilt. You were the one who left, after all. I feel really sorry for anyone who ends up with him. He was the greatest guy ever, really seductive in the beginning, flowers, romance, the works. A real charmer, great husband for the first 6-9 months and them BAM! He's off leaving you wondering what you did 'wrong' and why he didn't love you anymore. Which makes it so much harder to get over. If he'd at least abused me or cheated on me (or I'd caught him cheating?) or he had some other horrible flaw, I could have walked away with at least a sense of self-righteous rage to sustain me.

-2L82Pray

14.

My ex fiance after I asked her to marry me became clingy. She would call me and text through my entire work day and then if I didn't respond quick enough I'd get a passive aggressive text, voicemail, or email about how she feels like I'm cheating on her. Eventually I was tired of the accusation and the apologies i had given even though I did nothing wrong.

-txmade41

13.

She was a liar for attention. She tried telling me she was a twin, she wasn't. It was just minor things that to me just seemed stupid. She would lie about how she used to train dogs (she used to be a groomers assistant). She talked about everything she had plans for and seemed relatively put together.

Once we got married her lying didn't stop. Mainly when I asked "are you on tinder?"

-Placter

12.

I got sick for a few years and she told me "I didn't sign up for this." Should have broken up then.

-grooveunite

People are defending this as "honesty." I think it's a major red flag. It's one thing to express something like that in a serious conversation about the future. It's another to just say it for no reason.

My ex used to say, "if I ever feel X way I'll leave you and take my kids with me." Yeah...we weren't even married yet and didn't have kids.

-Nice_Marmot_7

11.

His family had f*cked up boundaries. And he had no opinions of his own when it came to them.

-10261991

I wish I'd spotted this one ahead of time too. Having a f*cked up family isn't a big deal, there's skeletons in every closet. But sweeping it under the rug and pretending life is fine while people constantly violate your boundaries and privacy? That can destroy relationships.

-CaptainTrips1919

10.

There were a million red flags, but I ignored all of them. How they treat literally everyone else will be how they treat you. If they lied to everyone, you can bet they do it to you too. I am an idiot, but now hopefully a wiser idiot. Probably not though. Keep walking into the same brand of rake.

-Pr1soner6655321

9.

What his ex wife said about him as a parent. He told me that she was lying and that he did all of the work when they were together, she was lazy and wouldn't clean the house, and that she only cared about partying with her friends. Once I had a baby with him, I realized she was completely honest and I was on my own.

-sneakysneeza

8.

When I met her parents and all they did was yell at each other.

Turns out that's how she thought couples should communicate.

It didn't end well.

-DLS3141

Went through something similar with my husband. We had to learn how to fight. I am sorry she didnt feel like compromising or exploring another way to do things where both parties feel they can be heard.

-TwinkieWithASwuh

7.

Never married but I was engaged. He was very smart and went to an Ivy League school and once told me a monkey could do my job. Always thought he was better than me and smarter than me and would put me down in front of his friends. Just brushed it all off. His self righteousness and never admitting he was wrong because he was so much smarter and better than me so I must be the wrong one all the time is what made me call off the wedding. Happy I dodged that bullet but pretty upset I let so many red flags slide for so long. Turns out I'm not always wrong and I'm actually pretty smart.

-daniel22x612

6.

Weird thing, but she couldn't be wrong.

Where I didn't pick up on the red flag was she could not be WRONG. She wasn't a know it all. She would admit if she was unsure. But if she put forth anything, a belief, a memory, she treated it like gospel truth. She could be ignorant, undecided, but not WRONG.

This lead to horrible arguments where she would refuse to believe how she remembered something, even if 3 other people were backing me up, happened.

-03throwaway03

5.

This happened after we got engaged and realized a month before marriage. I realized my fiance was selfish and only cared about herself. I finally had enough and broke it off with her and ate the cost of the wedding and it was the best decision I ever made. It was her second failed engagement and 10 years later she is still single and looking to rope another schmuck into her web. Saw her on a dating app and noticed she cut off 5 years off her age just a few months back, had a good laugh.

The biggest red flag I missed was early on we brought photo albums to a coffee date to share stories about our families etc. She brought two whole albums of photos of just herself in different outfits. I thought it was weird, but thought perhaps she wasn't comfortable sharing photos of her family yet. Turns out she only cares about herself and that I was right to be concerned and should've gone with my gut instincts early on.

-AfghanHokie

4.

The most obvious red flag that I ignored was the pre-wedding planning. Prior to being engaged my desires were acknowledged and provided for or promised.

As we began planning the wedding, my opinion was not relevant unless it was to say "Yes, I agree with you". I was either being difficult, I was ignored, or we were made for each other!
This behavior continued through the marriage. She would ask my advice, if I didn't care I was an ahole and she would do what she wanted. If I said no, I was an asshole and she would do what she wanted. If I said Yes - I at least wasn't an asshole.

Compromise needs to work both ways.

-Fathamir

3.

My husband and I got married kind of young. He was a workaholic when we met, very easy going, & was happy to stay home & chill instead of going out. He seemed to enjoy going out more the longer we were together, but I always had to be the one to make plans, or we'd never leave the house. The one thing I really wish I would have paid attention to was my concerns about how his family treated me, & his lack of concern for how I felt about it. He always dismissed my concerns. When I would tell him that they clearly didn't like me based on things they said to me, I was told I was over reacting.

I guess I thought their feelings towards me would change or that he would hear my concerns & believe what I was saying. I should have paid more attention to the fact that he never seemed to believe what I was saying his family was saying to me, & he always took their side. This has been a trend throughout our marriage, & after 28 years of what turned into a very dysfunctional marriage, we're getting divorced. I wish I would have seen from the beginning that he was always putting me & my feelings last. It was always up to me to fix, change, or do things in our marriage.

-Swak2568

2.

I was in a relationship with a woman a decade older than me and she had a big personality. It was charming at first, until it wasn't. I was pretty young then (like 20ish) and reallllly naive. I just followed her every word because I thought she must be right. After all, she was a decade older than me. She would constantly put me down and make fun of the things that I liked. She would talk poorly about me in public, and the sad thing was my self esteem was so low, I just agreed with her. It didn't help that everyone around us called her "authentic" and "real," meaning that she was supposedly straight-forward and honest. Turns out; she was just very, very bitter and a bully.

A lot of her friends and coworkers, came forward about her manipulative and awful behavior. A couple of mentors and friends had to step in for me because they saw the emotional abuse happening. It took me a long time to realize what actually was going on and all the ways it affected, and sometimes still affects me. I've definitely got trust issues because of that.

-lolz91

Age is not an indicator of maturity as I have painfully discovered.

-DemeaningSarcasm

1.

I was talking to a girl for about two weeks and she went thru my phone. Usually, I would immediately walk away because that's insane. She found nothing and I decided it was OK because she was the first girl I've liked in awhile and I was tired of screwing around and having one night stands.

Fast forward 8 months and I find out she had hacked into my Instagram, Facebook and snapchat. And guess what, again found nothing. The relationship became toxic when I changed all my passwords and she was constantly questioning what I was doing and where I was.

I shouldve walked away the very first time she went thru my phone 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

-rebelcpc22

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley

Remember

"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt

Imagination

"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."

RedditbOiiiiiiiiii

"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."

monobarreller

Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."

– GTFOakaFOD

"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip

Yikes!

"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User

"Oh."

– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"

Sensations

Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."

PeachesnPain

Recovery

"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."

good_golly99

Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."

rayrayrayray

Free

The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."

TooReDTooHigh

This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.

Shocked

Giphy

"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."

Admirable_Buyer6528

The SOB

"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”

1-cupcake-at-a-time

Colors

"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"

Hannah_LL7

"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"

huntokarrr

The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."

Fluffy-Hotel-5184

Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."

Hot-Refrigerator6583

Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.

Shopping

"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.