Redditor iamalsopizza asked:
"What did your body tell you that you had to absolutely stop doing?"
That 24/7 Life
"Pulling all nighters for any reason. My body will not tolerate it anymore."
- Eccentric_Mermaid
"I used to do it every weekend as a teenager, with help from Monster, my PC, and some of the fine programming on Adult Swim."
"Last time I tried as an early 20s adult, I passed out sitting straight up. I'm pretty sure now Monster just puts me to sleep."
"Last successful all-nighter I survived until 6 AM. I still woke up at 8:00 on the dot, on my day off. Thanks work."
- EvilDarkCow
"Oh my sweet, honey-glazed christ...I turned 40 last year and I swear it was like someone flipped a light switch."
"I used to pull all-nighters and get 4 hours sleep and be ready to go like a wild hog the next morning."
"Now I get 8 hours of sleep and I could frankly use a nap. Aging sucks."
- Cats-Steal-Things
GiphyNo More
"Got seizures from drinking more or less a liter of vodka a day."
"Took a few years, but I'm now standing at 648 days alcohol free."
- FroggiJoy87
"Currently in the hospital. Came off a hangover caused by 14 shots of Altos and my body was like 'you know what? We're gonna figure all this shit out'."
"I had diarrhea so bad, I was almost in starvation mode when I got to the ER. Turns out, there's a tiny hole in my something and it was leaking waste into my body which gave me an infection."
"Been here 5 days, now. I have a straw in my belly which is draining the infection so the antibiotics can work better."
"Every time I look at it, I'm grossed out and wanna slap myself. I'm never touching a drink again in my life. F'k that."
"I just liked to have a good time and binge drink."
"Well, I'm gonna have to get some new hobbies or something because this sh*t here, ain't it."
- IreallEwannasay
"I use to take pills all the time to get high when I was going through some sh*t in my early 20's that I didn't really know how to handle at the time."
"Well one day while doing the pills, my body just said 'no more' and I projectile vomited everywhere in my room and bathroom. It got on the walls and floor. I was living with my parents at the time and blamed it on food poisoning or something like that."
"I tried again every day for like a week and each time I just threw them back up."
"And that's how I got clean off these pills. Drug free to this day!"
- Necrodotexe
Your Pancreas Says "No!"
"I just checked my blood sugar today and it is outrageous, so it looks like my food shenanigans are over."
"I made homemade bread last night and my blood sugar was 195 this morning. F'k my life."
- KayBeaux
"Yeah. When eating a piece of French bread becomes food shenanigans you know you're effed. Stuff most folks consider fine is now off limits."
"It's not like pork rinds or similar junk food, either. Potatoes, French fries, chips, etc... are absolutely not happening. OJ, cider, milk....all gone."
- jpr_jpr
GiphyEnergy With A Side Of Palpitations
"Drinking Bang energy drinks, last one I had turned me into a panicking rage monster, whole time I thought I was going to die my heart was beating so fast and irregular."
- CaptnRiggen
"I used to work a day job till 6p M-F then work security at bars Thur-Sat from 10p-3am."
"One night I drank two of those 4-Hour Energy drinks. The second one was more of a 'Wonder what would happen?' more than I needed it."
"Holy f'k was that a bad idea. My heart was going so fast."
"I never touched that stuff again. That was before I really looked closely at the nutrition labels. Now I always look at them."
‐ lipp79
"I had this with Redbull—my first time drinking it and I never touched it again."
"Coca Cola also gives me heart palpitations so I rarely drink it but not to the 'omg, I'm going to die' level of Red Bull."
- QuendaQuoll
"I used to work overnights at a store that sold 4-Hour Energy at the counter. My coworkers and I would guzzle them to get through the night shift."
"I always felt that same sensation of irregular heartbeat for hours and the crash afterward was unbelievable."
- jellyrat24
Calm Down
"Being stressed."
"I'm at the age now where I realize that controlling my stress level is an actual physical health issue."
"I started getting bald patches on my facial hair, and terrible neck pain, and elevated heart rate. I'm definitely more mindful.
"I used to think stress was just about what I was feeling emotionally in a given moment, but no it's very physical."
- mjzim9022
Giphy"Yep this one right here! During the summer of 2020 I realize that if I didn’t start working on calming down, I was gonna drop dead of a heart attack or something."
"About six months later I noticed that I had six months growth worth of pure white hairs on the top of my head. I didn’t even have gray hairs before Covid."
"I’m pretty sure that if I hadn’t have started calming myself down, I really would’ve had a heart attack."
- Drealjas
Sleeping Wrong Is A Thing
"Camping without an air mattress. The last time I did it using only a pallet of blankets I PAID for it the next morning."
"My entire body hurt. Getting old sucks."
- 2gecko1983
"Went to visit my grandmother 3 years ago and the air mattress had a hole in it, so I just said 'Ah its fine I'll sleep ona pallet on the floor'."
"I woke up the next morning with my left shoulder sore and stiff. It hurt all day, and every day after that."
"I finally broke down and went to the Dr about it this year. He said, 'You take anything for that?' I said, no. He said 'You probably should'."
"I was hoping maybe he was gonna fix me. Refer me to a joint specialist. Possibly see about surgery."
"Apparently after a certain age they dont really do that anymore and I now see why Aleve commercials are mostly targeted toward older people. Cause some disinterested Dr said 'You should probably start taking something for that'."
- IGotNoStringsOnMe
GiphyWhat activities has your body put a stop to?
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Redditor NanoPope asked:
"What’s the most ridiculous thing you saw a computer illiterate person do with a computer?"
Mice
"I have two coworkers who aren't sure how computers really work. Both have wireless mice."
"Coworker A's mouse stops working and can't figure out why. Coworker B takes his mouse and walks over to her desk, puts his mouse down and jiggles it around, remarking 'Huh, mine isn't working either here. Must be your desk or something'."
"Meanwhile his cursor is doing a dance around his screen back at his own desk."
"All I could do to keep a straight face."
- SecretlyHistoric
"I was born in the early '80s, but I grew up with computers (Atari 800XL, followed by Atari ST, before we got our first 486 "IBM Clone" PC), so I was pretty computer literate from an early age."
"When I was in elementary school, my grade took a field trip to a temporary pop-up dinosaur museum. There were several hands-on exhibits set up, some of them involving computers."
"I remember seeing a group of students and a teacher crowded around one of the computers trying to figure out how to get it to work. The teacher had the mouse in her hand, turned upside down, and was trying to move the cursor by rolling the ball around (the was before optical mice)."
"Also, this was NOT a trackball, but an actual rollerball mouse with a mousepad."
- drummer_who_codes
Keyboards
"My father in law one day rearranged just the keys on his keyboard in alphabetical order."
"A was still Q, B still W and so on."
"In the end he smashed that keyboard and bought new one."
- lemonedpenguin
"Early 2000s, I opened an email account for my parents. I set it up on their work computer since I was waiting for them to finish work when I set it up."
"Everything worked great until one day I told them to open an email I sent them and they kept insisting they'd do it the next day when they were at work."
"Long story short they thought their email lived in the work computer and they couldn't access it from other computers. A quick lesson in email and suddenly they got much more responsive to emails."
- cybergaleu
"When I was the computer support person at my local library back in 04 an elderly lady was at a machine with an envelope and a confused look on her face."
"I approached and asked if she needed help and she said, 'I'd like to send this letter to my daughter in email, but I don't see anywhere to put it in'."
"She was holding a sealed envelope with her daughter's email address as the address and her return address in the regular spot. No stamp though."
"The look on her face was so earnest that I couldn't even be angry. I patiently explained what email was and helped her set up a Gmail account and typed up the letter in the email for her to send."
- Lobsterbib
Picture This
"My mom wanted to paint a picture of the Pope, so in a Youtube video that showed a picture of him she took a picture with a camera, developed the picture into a 4x6, and gave it to me to enlarge."
"So I just searched for the original image and hit print..."
- 3-DMan
Disk Drive
"Back in the days of the original Apple Macintosh (beige case, black and white display, new-fangled 3.5" floppy disk drive), one of the secretaries where I was working managed to force 2 floppies into the single drive at once."
"'It kept asking for disk 2,' she explained."
- corndogco
Don't Turn It Off And On Again
"Back around 2000 I did IT for a country club. Every Friday and Saturday night, without fail, the server which was in a locked room would crash."
"This caused the food and beverage ordering system to go down for about 20 minutes."
"One weekend, I stayed late on a friday and sort of camped out."
"At about the time the server normally crashed, at the height of the dinner rush, the food and beverage manager walked in and unplugged the server from the ups, then plugged it back in."
"I asked him why. He said it "made everything run faster" and further said this was a normal weekend routine."
- -Blixx-
"I used to be sort of a sysadmin for remote signals intelligence sensors for the Army. A few times a week for a few hours, an entire region of a specific network would go down and we'd just go kinda dark for a bit on that platform."
"No one could figure out why, and we normally have near 100% uptime. Colonels are calling asking wtf is up, teams are dispatched to check the sensors, no one could give an answer."
"Then we noticed they were only in hours that fell between 7am-3pm local time, Monday-Friday... hmm okay. Let's check everything again, teams go out to reboot each sensor individually, every node and server between us and the sensors, physically reseat cables... nothing, still goes out randomly for hours."
"Then one day during an outage the techs forward go check out that specific server room. There was a lone navy Lieutenant Commander in there doing office work (even though he had a private office) and he didn't like how loud the servers were so he just powered them all down when he wanted to work in his hideaway."
"This dude just casually blacked out a bunch of national security missions for a whole ass country instead of you know, closing his office door."
- napleonblwnaprt
We Don't Know How To Use Their Tech Either
"My grandmother has complained to me that store clerks are shocked and confused when she informs them she doesn't have an email address to provide, or a computer to make one on."
"She was born in 1929 and is 93 years old. The most modern device she owns is her TV, which has a VCR attached to it."
"She listens to music on a radio with a tape deck in it. Her phone hangs on the wall of her dining room. She doesn't even own a microwave."
"I think someone who was almost an adult when WWII ended can be given a break for not having an email address."
- Chris_Buttcrouch
Satisfying Call Me GIFGiphySo, are you the tech savvy one or the one who says "oops, my bad"?
Share your tech troubles in the comments.
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Redditor Crystalgamer04 asked:
"What is your best insult, WITHOUT using curse words?"
"Your mom tells you not to call her mom in public."
~ GiverOfGlizzies
Battle of Wits
"Intelligent thoughts have always followed you, but you were faster."
- KrispyKrunch_
"You've got a face for radio, the voice for newspaper, and the brains for neither."
- BadAtHumaningToo
"You seem like the sort of person who knows which color of crayon tastes the best."
- TrentWolfred
On The Job
"Me: 'Have I told you lately that you're doing a good job?'"
"Them: 'No'."
"Me: 'Do you think there might be a reason for that?'"
- TheCarrzilico
Giphy"There really are no gaps in your ignorance."
- Townscent
General Purpose
"I envy the people who have never met you."
- sigmaninus
"I didn't expect anything from you and you still disappointed."
- StillaDingo
So, what's your go to smackdown?
Share it in the comments.
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