People Explain Which Things Immediately Trigger Red Flags For Them
Photo by Raúl Nájera on Unsplash

What is that saying?

"People always tell you who they are the first time, so listen."

When you don't have to search for the signs because they're smacking you in the face, run and run fast.

People always give a few warnings that are impossible to hide.

And scams just don't have the bite they used to.

Like, who is sending money or their social security number to anyone on Craig's List anymore?

Redditor sencecore wanted to hear about the warnings we all catch onto quick. They asked:

"What’s an immediate red flag for you?"

I always run when people tell me they're too smart for therapy. Sure. Ok.

Own Up

No Way Do Not Want GIF by Schitt's Creek Giphy

"Someone who can't admit they're wrong. Or won't take responsibility for their decisions."


You'll be Rich!!

“Don’t worry, it’s not a pyramid scheme.”


"No, we're actually a multi level marketing business! So each person runs their own small business that is assisted by their recruiter, their recruiter's recruiter, and so on! It's totally different from a pyramid scheme because you can make real. money."

"Now sign on the dotted like for the $350 introductory package so you can test our products for yourself--and you'll want to test them so you can better market them!--and then sign here to order the $1500 starter sales kit. You'll get enough product to sell to three people, plus a DVD training!"


Don't tell me!!

"Spoiling a show or movie.'


"I one time witnessed a breakup and the dudes final words before walking away were the spoilers to the entire MCU, and his before-that girlfriend was a huge marvel fan but hadn’t watched a few of the new movies."


"Someone spoiled the finale of the first season of Survivor for me. They didn’t do a live show for the first season. I was taping it and was going to watch it when it was done. We had a regular thing on Survivor nights, we always watched after we got home. I have never forgiven said person, and it’s been like 22 years."


Be Kind to the Staff...

"Being rude/argumentative with a cashier/customer service worker about a policy or rule they are made to enforce without choice. They. Don't. Make. The. Rules. Please, don't make their lives any more difficult than it already is. You wouldn't believe the kind if sh*t they have to deal with on a daily basis."


Coin Problems


"When they talk about or ask for money early on. Or when they suggest expensive dates and do not offer to cover them."


It always leads back to the money. Never mess with the money.

Never Leave

Glenn Close GIF Giphy

“I can’t accept it when people reject me or say no to me.”



"A person I've never met asking me for a gift card."


"This literally happened to me yesterday. Granted I'd already had a few online convos with this individual a few months ago, but then out of the blue she msgs and up and asks me for help in getting a $200 Google Play giftcard."


Like it Is...

"When someone says 'I'm not mean, I just tell it like it is.'"


"100%. This person won't take any responsibility for the effects their words or actions might cause, they just lack the empathy to do so. Or I don't know, but it's a HUGE red flag. Also, if you 'tell it like it is' to them, they go absolutely crazy. It's sad to watch because you realize that there's nothing you can do to snap them out of their narcissistic bubble."



"Nazi tattoo."


"Went on a couple dates with a girl. Seemed cool. Went into the bedroom and she took her shirt off, only to find a lightning bolt SS tattoo on her shoulder. She didn’t think it was a big deal, however 'condemned”'what it meant. I noped out of that as fast as I could."


Worst of it...

Kim Kardashian Drink GIF by GQ Giphy

"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."


In the Shallow

"Asks if I’m up for a drive to the woods outside of town late in the evening after dinner to help dig a shallow grave for unspecified purposes."


"One time i was talking to this guy had really liked. And he asked me out and said: 'So I was wondering if you ever wanted to go shooting some time? It’s a private area and a bit remote, about a 45 minute drive from our town.'"

"I of course was suspicious over his wording and he caught on and immediately was apologetic and began to over explain. saying since i liked guns he thought it would be neat and an interesting first date. i felt so bad because he didn’t mean it that way but it sounded SO off initially lmao."


Not too Hard

"When a company says 'work hard, play hard;' that means they expect you to put in over 40 hours of work and have no work-life balance."


"You can have a work-life balance. That's why they're having volunteer and social events outside of work you can attend."

"For instance one of my past bosses wanted drag us all to a Pride event they were sponsoring. I was like, 'we're already working over 45 hours per week without overtime pay and now you want to take over our weekend!' We did not attend the LGBT event and the bank's photo op moment in the paper was a little smaller."


"I once dated a girl who was obsessed looking for red flags. which is ironically a red flag, these types of people go out of their way looking for problems."


"My last GF did something like this. Constantly talking about manipulation an how X did Y and what I was doing was manipulative."

"My friends pointed out how I was being gas lit by this girl hard. She then broke up with me to be with my room mate, which burned terribly to the ground. She wondered why she had little contact with family and friends as well. She constantly blamed them for character flaws and her own problems."


Be Clean

Wash Hands Reaction GIF by jjjjjohn Giphy

"Whenever someone walks out of the bathroom without washing their hands."



"Love bombing."


"I am regretfully guilty of this. I was often single so long that when I found someone I smothered her in texts and calls and wanting to hang out. An ugly mix of fear of being alone and lack of self esteem."


"Too much affection too fast. I once dated a girl that started calling me babe and saying I love you within only one week of knowing me."


“mud season”

"Carpet in a bathroom."


"The only dive bar in the town where I went to college was in the middle of nowhere. Both because it was a bathroom in the only bar, and because we live in a state where we have 'mud season,' the carpeted bathroom was horrifying."


"My house had 3 layers of carpet in the bathroom, because the floor was freezing. The bathroom had been built out onto what had been a porch so it was over a poorly insulated crawl space. But still."


You're Too Much

"Someone who is always complaining: about their job and coworkers, about their friends, about the server that was too slow etc. It’s exhausting being with someone who is always so negative and I’ve found that people like this often blame others for all of their troubles in life."


Shut Up!

"Talking about their ex too much."


"This depends. I’m just starting to date after 18 years of marriage. Most the men I date have also been married. These are people who were part of our lives. Not talking about them would seem weird. They probably appear in a lot of your stories of how you became who you are now. Now complaining about them the whole time or appearing to still be in love with them would be a red flag."


Just Eat

Music Video Mv GIF by Lady Gaga Giphy

"When someone is rude to a waitress/waiters. About the quality of the food."


The End Result

"I've spent my life ignoring red flags on the basis I have a tendency to overanalyze everything and make bad decisions through perpetual indecisiveness. The end result is sure I've met some of the worst sorts of people in the world, but I've also met some of the best. Red flags definitely exist for a reason, but sometimes people have just been through hell and still bare the scars."


All of these red flags, and warnings. But will the rest of us listen?

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