Sex is part of life.
Even if you spend most of your living days single, most of us still need to find a little one on one human contact.
It feeds the soul.
But as imperative as sex is, you have to choose wisely.
We compromise too much of ourselves when the sexy time is... just that good.
Redditor ya7ta wanted everyone to share about a life weakness that binds us all together by asking:
"What is the biggest red flag you had overlooked because the sex was good?"Sex can blind you to the people aren't willing to do the work.
They know what's going on, they are cognizent of their actions and they don't care, it's about them.
That is always a BURNING red flag.
Burning like fire.
Picture, Picture
The woman was married and I didn’t know, but I should have paid close attention to family portraits on the wall...
Horrible Person
Clear indications that she was racist (didn't approve of interracial relationships to "keep the race pure") and narcissistic as hell and had a league of "orbiters" around her.
In the end I was probably lucky the whole thing went down in just a week, some poor sods lose years to people like that.
White Noise
Doesn't appear to register a word I say, and sometimes just interrupts me mid-sentence with a remark of his own.
It's almost like I'm white noise sometimes.
GiphyYou just described my last ex.
Amazing in bed, but practically everything she said was a lie. I finally left when I realized she'd lied about her age, and I finally wasn't even sure she was honest about her last name.
Before you ask, just typical lies about how everything I liked was her favorite too, she was the same age as me, swore she even went to the same first concert as me 'Oh, my god, why couldn't we have met back then?!'
Then she'd have breakdowns and complain that she feels like she can't be herself and needs to constantly stroke my ego, which I beg her to stop doing and just be honest.
Then she'd lie about a whole separate set of things.
She even lied and said she knew how to play guitar. So, I brought a few guitars and practice amps over, thinking we could hammer out a song or just jam together.
She literally got to the point where we were sitting together, holding guitars, and I suggest a simple I,IV,V Blues progression to warm up over, and I play the first 12 bars, and she sort of pretends to strum along, and finally, FINALLY, breaks down crying and admits she doesn't know how to play guitar.
It was that absurd.
Giphythe focus...
Even after being married to my husband for almost 20 years my husband still gets annoyed with me over it. Back in the day they called it "inability to focus" as per my learning disabilities teachers paperwork.
Now it's called ADHD. I try to make my husband understand that I'm not trying to be rude or spiteful.
It's just how my mind works. I'd love to change it, it would make my life easier if I could. It's hard to make someone who has never dealt with this issue understand.
I'm not saying for a fact that this is his exact problem, but it sounds similar to my own husband's complaints about me. Just thought I'd offer some possible perspective.
Crazy is crazy, or at the very least... "off kilter."
If you sense they may take the extreme action of giving into delusional behavior, there is no shame in booking a one-way ticket out of dodge.
Don't let the carnal make you feel like you're the crazy one.
JUMP!
Jumped out of a moving car because she didn't like a restaurant in the direction we were headed. Most adventurous sex I ever had. Crazy in the head crazy in the bed.
GiphyOk X?
My ex got mad at me because she "always" chose where we ate. I said let's go to X, she said she didn't like X. I said how about Y? No, Y either. Same with Z, so I asked where she wanted to eat then since she didn't like any of my choices and we went there.
For Me?
He constantly wanted to do everything with me/for me. Don't go to the post office by yourself, I'll drive you! Don't get yourself dinner, I'll take you and we'll go together! Don't do X, I'll do it!
And then he'd get upset when I had already gone/didn't wait for his butt to wake up (he worked nights and often slept through a million calls)/had done whatever by myself or with friends, and claimed that he was worried about me.
He found a new squeeze and dumped me a month or so into this, but in hindsight he was really, really controlling and that was quite likely the start of something not-so-great.
Paranoia...
Everyone told me she was paranoid but she was a ballerina and her body was perfect. Her paranoia was strange in that she thought everyone was talking about her behind her back and lo and behold everyone was talking about her behind her back.
Everyone was talking about how paranoid she was. In my defense I told everyone that she technically wasn't paranoid if what she thought was happening was actually happening. Then she became paranoid of me sleeping around on her. Had to roll.
Some red flags are just so obvious and statement making that you there is no need to explain.
When you see them... run.
Run and never look back.
And if you do... don't be shocked down the road.
Leave Sober
She was insanely jealous and we'd fight all the time, but the sex was amazing.
I managed to break up with her, met her to get some things back. She asked to get a drinks, few hours later and the most intense sex ever, I ended up with her for another year.
I did finally end it.
Pearl Clutch
- owns a house with her ex-husband that she's still "friendly" with. Also I was never invited over.
- Nieces & nephews live with her, but brother doesn't regularly.
- Wanted to get a job with her ex.
Yeah, she got that job and is back with him. Shocked, I tell you.
The lesson we've learned? Sex is great.
Sex isn't everything though. Great sex is difficult to find, but we can go without until it comes with love or without strings.
Like, after you're done and it's post-coutal, you shouldn't be concerned about waking up the next morning.
And you shouldn't be stuck years later just because.... you named it.
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Curious to hear from ex-lovers who've been there, Redditor Lishasquarepant asked:
"What caused your last break-up?"
These Redditors found they and their significant other were no longer on the same page.
"Simply, we grew apart."
– catetheway
"Same, I feel like Michael Scott everytime I try to start another relationship. 'No question about it, I am ready to get hurt again.'"
– Gthew
Happier Apart
"Same. We loved each other like siblings, not spouses... Ugh! Lovely man though who now has a fab girlfriend. We are good friends and much happier apart."
– MoxieHasKnottyBits
No Regrets
"Same. And it f'king sucks, but that’s life. It’s been a year and I still hate every second that she’s not in my life, but at the same time I know she’s happier now than she would’ve been if we stayed together."
– throway35885328
Having no communication is the worst part.
Silent Partner
"He slowly got distant. I believe he lost interest and didn't dare be honest with me about that."
– GaiaNatur77
The Late Blame Game
"I had that happen as well, but then he pinned it on me being distant and not affectionate enough."
"My guy, if you pull your hand away every time I try to hold it, I'm gonna stop trying to hold it. And if I ask if something's up and you repeatedly tell me everything is fine, I'm going to believe you. Don't wait till I'm at my worst moment and then reveal you had issues with me for 3 months and break up with me for it being 'my fault.'"
– Billielolly
"Everything Is Fine"
"Oh man, the asking repeatedly and getting a 'nothing' reminds me of a story."
"My friend used to ask her ex this every time he was unusually quiet. He’d always say he was fine, then at one point, told her to stop asking because it was making him feel weird."
"So she did."
"Six months later he initiated a divorce because she didn’t care about his feelings anymore."
"Like…don’t ask for sh*t then get pissy when you get what you want."
– TheRealJackReynolds
And then there are those who were not invested in the relationship for a long time.
The Struggle Is Real
"He seemed to struggle with the concept of not f'king random people."
– spanglesandbambi
Leaving The Problem
"He moved to his country because he missed his family. So he only sent a WhatsApp message saying he was going to stay there. I would have preferred a call at least to break up a marriage."
– kattia12
New Life
"Something similar happened to my cousin. He married her in the US, they had a baby together.. a few years go by, he misses home, goes back to visit.. His family had an arranged marriage ready for him 🤦🏻♀️ He ended up with a new wife and new baby. Hasn’t came back."
– MysticalMom7
A Foreign Custom
"It just seems so surreal that a grown a** adult with a wife and baby would leave his family behind for an arranged marriage. I'll never fathom the mentality."
– ro0ibos2
Ouch
"I wasn't having sex near as often as she was."
– YourWordsMatter
Breaking up is hard to do.
But a good thing to remember is that love can be found again and the new relationship can be even better than the previous one.
And that's something that can't be recognized until you look back in retrospect.
We all have to kiss a few toads.
Redditor TractorLoving wanted to hear about the things many of us have seen that left us shaken and a bit scared, so they asked:
"What's the most creepy thing you've ever witnessed?"
I've lost track of the number of things that have creeped me out in life.
I barely leave the house.
From the bushes...
the lion king disney GIFGiphy"When I was about 12 I was sleeping on my trampoline with a friend and we heard the bushes move behind us, we flashed our flashlight to the bushes and a mountain lion was laying there stalking us, I have never run so fast in my life."
Fortherecord87
Voices
"Finding my dad dead in his recliner. I swear I heard his voice when the coroner came for his body."
PolesawPolska
"My granddad knocked over my great-grandma's ashes in his car accidentally, and to this day swears he heard her laugh, loud and clear as if she was standing next to him. She had a hugely wicked sense of humor and would have found this (and my very stressed granddad carefully collecting her ashes back into the container before my grandma saw) very funny."
Tanyaaahhh
From the Sea
"When I was serving my time as an engineer in the merchant navy we used to have to clean out what is called 'sea chests;' they're basically big filters for seawater that we would pump in to use as coolant and if the pumps were on when we were dockside we'd find all sorts of things like bottles, fish, crabs etc."
"One day we opened up the chest, pulled out the filter, and immediately saw this gold shiny thing which turned out to be a Rolex watch. Usually, we'd just dump out the filter but with the mitigating circumstances, we went through it thoroughly and found a piece of a shirt with cufflink still attached and last but not least a nicely rotted finger."
"The police ended up closing off the dock and dredging it but never found anything on the end." ~ MarkyBhoy101
Terrified
Watching I See You GIF by TravisGiphy"This guy followed me home. Said he saw me there often and named a few local spots I go to sometimes as places he sees me. It’s been about a year. Never saw him again. I was terrified for a little while for sure."
ewqdsacxziopjklbnm
Stay vigilant out there kids.
People are watching and some of us don't notice.
Back Up Creep
Scared Homer Simpson GIF by reactionseditorGiphy"I was in a restaurant years ago on lunch break. At the time I was a very thin 25-year-old woman. There was this big creepy guy sitting there who would NOT stop staring at me from the moment I walked in the door."
"I mean just open face staring without blinking for the entire 15 minutes I was eating several seats away. I asked for a box and left early to get away from him. As I walked out he said, 'You shouldn't be out alone. Someone's going to grab you and steal you away." 100% convinced creepazoid had someone locked up in his basement."
xain_the_idiot
'Youth in need'
"Was working in a restaurant. Nice place. That night we held a charity dinner for a 'youth in need' type of house. The guy representing the house, a worker there, was such a nice and kind man. Every teen there was only saying nice things about him. A good soul, that was giving everything he could for these teens."
"At one point they gave a big check to the charity. I must guess an amount they rarely received. Well under the excitement, that poor man had a cardiac arrest. Dropped there on the stage, cheque in hand. He couldn't be brought back. He died. Seeing this was already bad enough, but the kids everywhere in the restaurant screaming and crying for hours after... haunting."
Agronut
Inside the House
"One random night in middle school I woke up and had the odd feeling that something or someone was present in the house and coming towards my room. I was scared so I closed my eyes to pretend to be asleep. I could faintly hear something come into my room and it felt like someone was standing over me, looking to make sure I was asleep. I laid on my back, eyes shut, until the feeling passed, and ended up falling asleep. I woke up in the morning to find out that our house was robbed."
ThatOtherOtherGuy3
There in lies the rub...
"Well dressed 50 something business dude on a quiet Chicago L train reading a Wall Street Journal. Pretty woman with long curly hair dozing in the seat in front of him, her hair dangling behind the seat. The guy is rubbing and playing with her hair while reading his paper so I figure she's his wife or girlfriend who just wanted some space to nap."
"He is now intently rubbing and fondling her hair and not reading anymore. Suddenly she snaps awake and pulls in her hair like a bug was in it or something. She gets off at the next stop, he continues reading. They didn't know each other at all."
mtzuker
Why do people feel the need to overshare?
People really need to discuss boundaries.
