Sex is part of life.
Even if you spend most of your living days single, most of us still need to find a little one on one human contact.
It feeds the soul.
But as imperative as sex is, you have to choose wisely.
We compromise too much of ourselves when the sexy time is... just that good.
Redditor ya7ta wanted everyone to share about a life weakness that binds us all together by asking:
"What is the biggest red flag you had overlooked because the sex was good?"Sex can blind you to the people aren't willing to do the work.
They know what's going on, they are cognizent of their actions and they don't care, it's about them.
That is always a BURNING red flag.
Burning like fire.
Picture, Picture
The woman was married and I didn’t know, but I should have paid close attention to family portraits on the wall...
Horrible Person
Clear indications that she was racist (didn't approve of interracial relationships to "keep the race pure") and narcissistic as hell and had a league of "orbiters" around her.
In the end I was probably lucky the whole thing went down in just a week, some poor sods lose years to people like that.
White Noise
Doesn't appear to register a word I say, and sometimes just interrupts me mid-sentence with a remark of his own.
It's almost like I'm white noise sometimes.
GiphyYou just described my last ex.
Amazing in bed, but practically everything she said was a lie. I finally left when I realized she'd lied about her age, and I finally wasn't even sure she was honest about her last name.
Before you ask, just typical lies about how everything I liked was her favorite too, she was the same age as me, swore she even went to the same first concert as me 'Oh, my god, why couldn't we have met back then?!'
Then she'd have breakdowns and complain that she feels like she can't be herself and needs to constantly stroke my ego, which I beg her to stop doing and just be honest.
Then she'd lie about a whole separate set of things.
She even lied and said she knew how to play guitar. So, I brought a few guitars and practice amps over, thinking we could hammer out a song or just jam together.
She literally got to the point where we were sitting together, holding guitars, and I suggest a simple I,IV,V Blues progression to warm up over, and I play the first 12 bars, and she sort of pretends to strum along, and finally, FINALLY, breaks down crying and admits she doesn't know how to play guitar.
It was that absurd.
Giphythe focus...
Even after being married to my husband for almost 20 years my husband still gets annoyed with me over it. Back in the day they called it "inability to focus" as per my learning disabilities teachers paperwork.
Now it's called ADHD. I try to make my husband understand that I'm not trying to be rude or spiteful.
It's just how my mind works. I'd love to change it, it would make my life easier if I could. It's hard to make someone who has never dealt with this issue understand.
I'm not saying for a fact that this is his exact problem, but it sounds similar to my own husband's complaints about me. Just thought I'd offer some possible perspective.
Crazy is crazy, or at the very least... "off kilter."
If you sense they may take the extreme action of giving into delusional behavior, there is no shame in booking a one-way ticket out of dodge.
Don't let the carnal make you feel like you're the crazy one.
JUMP!
Jumped out of a moving car because she didn't like a restaurant in the direction we were headed. Most adventurous sex I ever had. Crazy in the head crazy in the bed.
GiphyOk X?
My ex got mad at me because she "always" chose where we ate. I said let's go to X, she said she didn't like X. I said how about Y? No, Y either. Same with Z, so I asked where she wanted to eat then since she didn't like any of my choices and we went there.
For Me?
He constantly wanted to do everything with me/for me. Don't go to the post office by yourself, I'll drive you! Don't get yourself dinner, I'll take you and we'll go together! Don't do X, I'll do it!
And then he'd get upset when I had already gone/didn't wait for his butt to wake up (he worked nights and often slept through a million calls)/had done whatever by myself or with friends, and claimed that he was worried about me.
He found a new squeeze and dumped me a month or so into this, but in hindsight he was really, really controlling and that was quite likely the start of something not-so-great.
Paranoia...
Everyone told me she was paranoid but she was a ballerina and her body was perfect. Her paranoia was strange in that she thought everyone was talking about her behind her back and lo and behold everyone was talking about her behind her back.
Everyone was talking about how paranoid she was. In my defense I told everyone that she technically wasn't paranoid if what she thought was happening was actually happening. Then she became paranoid of me sleeping around on her. Had to roll.
Some red flags are just so obvious and statement making that you there is no need to explain.
When you see them... run.
Run and never look back.
And if you do... don't be shocked down the road.
Leave Sober
She was insanely jealous and we'd fight all the time, but the sex was amazing.
I managed to break up with her, met her to get some things back. She asked to get a drinks, few hours later and the most intense sex ever, I ended up with her for another year.
I did finally end it.
Pearl Clutch
- owns a house with her ex-husband that she's still "friendly" with. Also I was never invited over.
- Nieces & nephews live with her, but brother doesn't regularly.
- Wanted to get a job with her ex.
Yeah, she got that job and is back with him. Shocked, I tell you.
The lesson we've learned? Sex is great.
Sex isn't everything though. Great sex is difficult to find, but we can go without until it comes with love or without strings.
Like, after you're done and it's post-coutal, you shouldn't be concerned about waking up the next morning.
And you shouldn't be stuck years later just because.... you named it.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.