***WARNING: NSFW thread***
Why are so many of us such puritans when it comes to discussing sex?
After all there is a lot to chat about.
Why so shy?
Everybody needs to speak up on the matter more.
It's all the non-speaking that leads to trouble.
Ladies!
Men have a few things they want to share.
Redditor jestgowithit wanted the gents of Reddit to let the ladies in on a few details about sexy time.
They asked:
"Guys of Reddit, what is one piece of sex advice you could give to women?"
Sex is a communication sport.
No matter how many people are involved.
So let's communicate.
Working Together
"Firmly but gently." ~ JuanCSanchez
"A fun, sexy tip I gave on reddit once was: girls, if you'd like to learn how to masturbate a guy properly, buy lube, have him grab your hand and use it instead. Lessons will be learned, and everyone gets to enjoy themselves." ~ leroy_hoffenfeffer
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SPEAK UP!!
“Women, if there’s something that turns you on, if there’s something that gets you excited, something that really makes you hot, makes you nasty. HOWS ABOUT FILLING US IN AS TO WHAT THE HELL IT IS!!!” -the late and great Sam Kinison." ~ goateyboyjr
"I think, as a woman adding on, some of us don’t really know what we like until we try it so we sometimes don’t know. I didn’t know I liked to be fondled until it happened and I didn’t know I liked hickeys until I got one. I would always fantasize about doing it from behind but when I actually did it, I felt like a cow." ~ CapriciousSalmon
Feels good to be wanted...
"Please be more touchy. Run your hands over a guys body, feel him, grab, caress, kiss." ~ Reddit
"Haha. Just left a similar comment under another comment. Like damn girls we like to be touched and kissed and caressed and devoured all over too. Feels good to be wanted. I always hear guys don’t do foreplay but so many women just give a couple tugs and think nothing else is warranted." ~ ChillinVillianNW
For Starters...
"Don't be afraid to initiate sex." ~ degeneratesumwitch
"I remember trying to initiate many times with my ex but he was not interested any time I did. Then he had to gall to tell me I never try to initiate sex! I told him I did but I stopped because of rejection so many times so I just let him do it since he got horny at weird times like 2 in the afternoon." ~ Lick_The_Wrapper
Be Real
"Don't fake orgasms to spare your partner's feelings, you'll end up teaching them to do the wrong things in bed and make it even less likely they'll get you off the next time." ~ Spike-Rockit
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As a gay man so much of this is over my head.
But I'm willing to listen.
Go For It!
"If you want it, don't be shy. It's a huge turn on when a girl goes for what she wants." ~ User_492006
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You're Beautiful!!
"Don't be self conscious about body parts, stretch marks, shape, or any of that stuff the vast majority of us adults don't care about. Nothing is going to stop the blood draining from our brains." ~ -technosapien-
"Oh man. My GF has stretch marks all over (2 kids + medical issues with weight gain/loss in the past). I don't even care because she's still sexy af, clothes or no. Having her in my arms is the best thing that's ever happened to me and she's finally all mine (and I'm all hers)." ~ thepenis_mightier
Open Up...
"Communicate; talk about boundaries, likes, dislikes, etc. early on. Don’t be afraid to initiate sex with your partner; a lot of men (like myself) are dense or have a hard time doing so ourselves, even when we’re comfortable with our partner. If he doesn’t last long, and I can’t stress this one enough, he can use some assurance!" ~ Omni_Devil
Be Blunt!
"Stop being coy! We are NOT going to get it!" ~ ColinBridgerton
"Oh man, as a guy I must second this. Hell, I don't even notice clutter, forget subtle advances. Wife did some tidying while I was at work. Then coyly asked if I noticed anything different. Like, baby noooo. I didn't even notice when your Mom painted her kitchen and living room colors on the opposite side of the color wheel from their original state."
"Like sure, it might feel tidier and more open now that you mention it, but you need to be blunt 😂. Elaborating on the MIL story a bit. When my MIL asked if I noticed anything different, I didn't. So I went with the ole 'yeah it looks real clean in here today!'" ~ nbuzd
Start it Up
"My penis is attached to my body. Don't act like you're trying to start a damn lawnmower." ~ pardonmynonsequitur
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Articulate...
"Be vocal. For the love of hell, TELL US what you like/don't like."
this1is4thechampions
"With specifics. Slight changes in volume or cadence to a moan can still be ambiguous. Gotta be like those guys at the airport directing a plane into the gate. Leave no doubts about what needs to be done."
AgoraiosBum
Thigh High
"Don't question why it's sexier to leave on your thigh high socks during sex just leave them on."
dragonshit94
"Sorry but I’m stunned anyone would question this or remove them. I specifically put them ON for a reaction (and my own)!"
brunettesandbacon
"Oh lawd, thigh-highs get me going faster than a night gown or even the sexiest lingerie you got."
Mr_NeCr0
Fingers
"Before you put your finger in someone’s a**, ask for consent."
Flojo12
"THIS. I had a girl over once and she kept touching my butt like she wanted to eat it but I said no soooo many times and then she kept edging her fingers closer to my a**hole and I was like 'do you want me to do you in the butt?' And when she replied no I said 'well until you say yes I’m not saying yes either' and then she completely lost interest in me because I didn’t want to let her peg me like dude CONSENT!!"
curryandmilk
Consent
"Once you get consent, It is perfectly OK to slam a guy into the bed and take what you want."
DukeBeekeepersKid
"I once went to this guy's house for sex of course but even before we did anything, we were already hot I was already on my knees I looked up and asked for his consent to take his pants off and I swear it turned him on even more. I'm hot just thinking about it."
Rude_Girl69
be happy
"Enthusiasm is everything. You don’t always have to do it right, but you, at the very least, have to want to do it right. Right?"
shah357
Happy Gene Simmons GIF by TrueReal
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Buttons
"1) Make an effort in bed, don't just lay there..."
"2) Don't be afraid to be vulnerable..."
"3) If we're not doing it the way that you like it, teach us how YOU like it. Don't hold back. Every woman is different, and we can't read your mind. Most guys get really turned on when they know that they're 'hitting all the right buttons.' It's a primal thing..."
Extreme_Today_984
Respect your body...
"Respect yourself. Respect your body. You are not obligated to be a porn star or to do anything you don’t want to do. Humanity got by pretty damn well with vanilla sex for thousands of years and men didn’t complain. Now with generations growing up with porn as their sex guide, they have a twisted and warped idea as to what sex is."
"Don’t fall into that trap. Be confident. Be yourself, and men will fall to your feet. Don’t bend yourself backwards to please mens sexual perversions unless they're yours too."
MeisterJTF2
Teach...
"Don’t fake orgasms. Teach. If there’s an ego thing with all that, I recommend saying 'hey how bout tonight is all about you, partner. Why don’t you just tell me what you want me to do. Tomorrow, how bout it’s all about me, I’ll show you what I like the best.' Give then take. That’s how my wife and I got better at each other, and our orgasms are pretty mutual… unless she’s faking."
We're dumb...
"Talk to us. We're dumb. Tell us what you like and don't like. Take our hand and put it there."
Raspberries-Are-Evil
So Dumb
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Flesh
"We have extragenital erogenous zones, just the same as you do. Ears, lips, eyelids, fingertips, nipples, pelvic region. Look at a Nervous Homunculus illustration for reference (warning: do not expect to be titillated by the image as it is somewhat off-putting). These are areas where somatosensory nerves are closely clustered."
"Basically any attention paid to our skin, from soles to scalp, is a turn on, but these areas in specific will drive us crazy. Just remember to be gentle. We are all made of the same material, and men have a far lower threshold for pain."
dreamrock
Well I hope all of this helps.
Now go on out and have some fun.
Responsibly of course.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.