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Sex work is one of the oldest professions in history. Prostitution (an outdated term) has been seen in text dating as far back as 2400 B.C.

With that in mind, sex work is still highly criminalized, having divided early feminists in a way that remains today. The stigma around sex work causes a great deal of strife for the worker, and it certainly doesn't help when dating.

At the same time, OnlyFans has been on the rise since the start of the pandemic. So, there are probably more sex workers in the dating pool than we think.

We went to AskReddit to see what men are thinking when it comes to dating someone in this line of business.


Redditor BambiKittens666 asked:

"Men: would you ever date a woman who was a sex worker? (Prostitute, stripper, online adult entertainer, etc).. why or why not?"

The anonymity of Reddit definitely helps with user honesty.

Just wasn't his scene.

"I dated a stripper for a little bit. Early in the relationship, everything was actually great. I wasn’t much of a party or strip club guy but I never thought anything was wrong with it, if that makes sense."

"The closer we got, it just didn’t work out. She wanted me to visit her at work quite a bit, and hang with her work friends. Just wasn’t my scene."

- 1drose

"That's pretty interesting dude. It sounds like she might really liked you and was happy that she had found someone that accepted her for being her. She wanted to show you off. Just my assumption."

- ddubc

She would be furious.

"No."

"My wife would be furious."

- MrBoddles

"Yeah it’s a no from me too, this guy’s wife would be furious."

- wannabememer0510

"Happened to quite a few of us. This guy's wife was furious every single time."

- CervezaPorFavor

A sad story of addiction.

"Dated a stripper for around a year. It was a great relationship. I was supportive of her job and encouraged her to pursue other things she showed interest in."

"She was confident and independent. Something I'd not had previously to that relationship. Our conversation was great, our banter was amazing."

"Many people saw us and thought we had been together a long time. They always said they could feel our chemistry."

"Some of my fondest most cherished memories come with her. At the time I didn't know bc she hid it from me."

"A few of the fellow dancers turned her onto some hard drugs and it greatly affected our relationship. And caused us to breakup."

"Last I saw her she was an intravenous meth user. That shit hurt me more than anything I've experienced. She shot up in the passenger seat of my car was how I found out."

"After letting her sleep at my place and shower. She left. I've cried for myself, I've cried because of others. That's the only time I've cried for someone else."

"That was a beautiful relationship and a beautiful human who's been utterly destroyed by drugs. It changed my entire view on addiction. A real sobering experience."

"I tried to help by providing a safe space for her to be. To rest and shower. Got her some food and gas."

"Paid her phone bill twice. Drove her to court a few times. But always encouraging her that she needed help. She refused/didn't want to help herself."

"While taking her to pick up some belongings from her mom's house one time I had to call an ambulance. She was having some sort of psychosis. claiming she saw things and they spoke to her. While in the ER she lied to the doctors. That was one of the longest days of my life."

"I've had to distance myself from her because while I provided help she refused to help herself and I felt I was being used after a while. I want her to get better and clean more than anything."

"I remember the time we had fondly. I look up her name every few months to make sure she's hasn't passed away."

- Cbrm12

They were unapologetic and kind.

"I’ve dated two sex workers, one was a BDSM-type, and she was/is a lovely and confident person."

"I think on the third-or-so date, after her insisting on paying for everything, I deduced that she might earn a little more money than the average ‘car insurance salesperson’ that she introduced herself as."

"I asked calmly over breakfast if she had other incomes, and she was very honest, open, unapologetic, and I appreciated that so much. We discussed whether she wanted to talk about work, and she clearly stated that sometimes she would like to talk about it, and sometimes not."

"We got on really well for 2-3 months, then things faded for us, but I have nothing but fond memories. She taught me how to cook authentic Italian meatballs."

"The other one was an absolutely beautiful human who made me feel attractive and wanted after I’d just come out of an awful relationship. When I met her, she’d already made plans to move overseas, and she followed those plans. We still stay in regular contact to this day."

"I’m now in a long-term relationship, and have children and a new life, but I look back on those two people with nothing but respect and happiness, as it’s how they treated me."

"I think if you’re honest with yourself first and foremost about what you can handle, and also honest with the other person, it can work and be such a positive thing. But you have to work just as hard as you do with any relationship."

- holodelnek

It'd be tough to talk about work.

"No. Because I'll be dammed if she comes home and tells me she had a good day at work."

- shaggi_ezekio

"Or she tells you it was a hard day at work."

- MerovingianT-Rex

"Or that it was a long day."

- SOUINnnn

Open but it's uncharted territory.

"I'm open to the idea, but not entirely sure I could handle it."

- emueller5251

"Similarly, I'm in no way philosophically opposed but I'm 100% sure I couldn't handle it."

- RemarkableMilk

"Same here. Girls you do what makes you happy, there's no judgement here and I'm not against sex workers or anything, I just know full well I wouldn't be able to handle that setup myself. I don't like the idea of others seeing my partner naked, nor me if I'm with someone, just the way it goes."

- A_Few_Kind_Words

A fear that something would go wrong.

"No can’t do it. I’m too insecure to do something like that. I’m not even afraid to admit it, my mind would go nuts on all the things that could go wrong. A lot of my fear would also stem from someone feeling entitled and harming them because of their profession."

- abnthug

"That's not insecurity. That's a cost/risk analysis. Stay true to your moral code."

- LordKutulu

Wanting monogamy is a valid reason.

"What up with people calling guys that say no insecure? Or people who just don't know?"

"There is nothing wrong with sex work or dating a sex worker, but if someone doesn't feel comfortable with dating one, why are they insecure?"

"If that person wants sex to be something special between them and their partner, it's their choice to make and doesn't mean they are insecure. The opposite is true, they just know what they want."

- f*ckin_anti_pope

"'Not wanting people to have sex with your girlfriend makes you insecure.'"

"Some people here feel the need to justify their 'no' by getting all deep in there feelings and talking about 'insecurities.' My answer is no, because I think it's gross."

"I don't want to have sex with someone that's having sex with other people. Especially a lot of them."

"If you're the type of person that thinks I'm a 'misogynist' for not wanting other people to have sex with my partner, then you're the exact type of person who's opinion I don't care about lol."

- kilo73

Everyone is entitled to their own preferences.

Monogamy is not for everyone the same way that polyamory is not for everyone.

As long as we aren't judging those who are in the sex work field, no harm done.

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