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Men Divulge Why They Would Or Wouldn't Date A Sex Worker

Men Divulge Why They Would Or Wouldn't Date A Sex Worker
Dainis Graveris/Unsplash

Sex work is one of the oldest professions in history. Prostitution (an outdated term) has been seen in text dating as far back as 2400 B.C.

With that in mind, sex work is still highly criminalized, having divided early feminists in a way that remains today. The stigma around sex work causes a great deal of strife for the worker, and it certainly doesn't help when dating.

At the same time, OnlyFans has been on the rise since the start of the pandemic. So, there are probably more sex workers in the dating pool than we think.

We went to AskReddit to see what men are thinking when it comes to dating someone in this line of business.

Redditor BambiKittens666 asked:

"Men: would you ever date a woman who was a sex worker? (Prostitute, stripper, online adult entertainer, etc).. why or why not?"

The anonymity of Reddit definitely helps with user honesty.

Just wasn't his scene.

"I dated a stripper for a little bit. Early in the relationship, everything was actually great. I wasn’t much of a party or strip club guy but I never thought anything was wrong with it, if that makes sense."

"The closer we got, it just didn’t work out. She wanted me to visit her at work quite a bit, and hang with her work friends. Just wasn’t my scene."

- 1drose

"That's pretty interesting dude. It sounds like she might really liked you and was happy that she had found someone that accepted her for being her. She wanted to show you off. Just my assumption."

- ddubc

She would be furious.


"My wife would be furious."

- MrBoddles

"Yeah it’s a no from me too, this guy’s wife would be furious."

- wannabememer0510

"Happened to quite a few of us. This guy's wife was furious every single time."

- CervezaPorFavor

A sad story of addiction.

"Dated a stripper for around a year. It was a great relationship. I was supportive of her job and encouraged her to pursue other things she showed interest in."

"She was confident and independent. Something I'd not had previously to that relationship. Our conversation was great, our banter was amazing."

"Many people saw us and thought we had been together a long time. They always said they could feel our chemistry."

"Some of my fondest most cherished memories come with her. At the time I didn't know bc she hid it from me."

"A few of the fellow dancers turned her onto some hard drugs and it greatly affected our relationship. And caused us to breakup."

"Last I saw her she was an intravenous meth user. That shit hurt me more than anything I've experienced. She shot up in the passenger seat of my car was how I found out."

"After letting her sleep at my place and shower. She left. I've cried for myself, I've cried because of others. That's the only time I've cried for someone else."

"That was a beautiful relationship and a beautiful human who's been utterly destroyed by drugs. It changed my entire view on addiction. A real sobering experience."

"I tried to help by providing a safe space for her to be. To rest and shower. Got her some food and gas."

"Paid her phone bill twice. Drove her to court a few times. But always encouraging her that she needed help. She refused/didn't want to help herself."

"While taking her to pick up some belongings from her mom's house one time I had to call an ambulance. She was having some sort of psychosis. claiming she saw things and they spoke to her. While in the ER she lied to the doctors. That was one of the longest days of my life."

"I've had to distance myself from her because while I provided help she refused to help herself and I felt I was being used after a while. I want her to get better and clean more than anything."

"I remember the time we had fondly. I look up her name every few months to make sure she's hasn't passed away."

- Cbrm12

They were unapologetic and kind.

"I’ve dated two sex workers, one was a BDSM-type, and she was/is a lovely and confident person."

"I think on the third-or-so date, after her insisting on paying for everything, I deduced that she might earn a little more money than the average ‘car insurance salesperson’ that she introduced herself as."

"I asked calmly over breakfast if she had other incomes, and she was very honest, open, unapologetic, and I appreciated that so much. We discussed whether she wanted to talk about work, and she clearly stated that sometimes she would like to talk about it, and sometimes not."

"We got on really well for 2-3 months, then things faded for us, but I have nothing but fond memories. She taught me how to cook authentic Italian meatballs."

"The other one was an absolutely beautiful human who made me feel attractive and wanted after I’d just come out of an awful relationship. When I met her, she’d already made plans to move overseas, and she followed those plans. We still stay in regular contact to this day."

"I’m now in a long-term relationship, and have children and a new life, but I look back on those two people with nothing but respect and happiness, as it’s how they treated me."

"I think if you’re honest with yourself first and foremost about what you can handle, and also honest with the other person, it can work and be such a positive thing. But you have to work just as hard as you do with any relationship."

- holodelnek

It'd be tough to talk about work.

"No. Because I'll be dammed if she comes home and tells me she had a good day at work."

- shaggi_ezekio

"Or she tells you it was a hard day at work."

- MerovingianT-Rex

"Or that it was a long day."

- SOUINnnn

Open but it's uncharted territory.

"I'm open to the idea, but not entirely sure I could handle it."

- emueller5251

"Similarly, I'm in no way philosophically opposed but I'm 100% sure I couldn't handle it."

- RemarkableMilk

"Same here. Girls you do what makes you happy, there's no judgement here and I'm not against sex workers or anything, I just know full well I wouldn't be able to handle that setup myself. I don't like the idea of others seeing my partner naked, nor me if I'm with someone, just the way it goes."

- A_Few_Kind_Words

A fear that something would go wrong.

"No can’t do it. I’m too insecure to do something like that. I’m not even afraid to admit it, my mind would go nuts on all the things that could go wrong. A lot of my fear would also stem from someone feeling entitled and harming them because of their profession."

- abnthug

"That's not insecurity. That's a cost/risk analysis. Stay true to your moral code."

- LordKutulu

Wanting monogamy is a valid reason.

"What up with people calling guys that say no insecure? Or people who just don't know?"

"There is nothing wrong with sex work or dating a sex worker, but if someone doesn't feel comfortable with dating one, why are they insecure?"

"If that person wants sex to be something special between them and their partner, it's their choice to make and doesn't mean they are insecure. The opposite is true, they just know what they want."

- f*ckin_anti_pope

"'Not wanting people to have sex with your girlfriend makes you insecure.'"

"Some people here feel the need to justify their 'no' by getting all deep in there feelings and talking about 'insecurities.' My answer is no, because I think it's gross."

"I don't want to have sex with someone that's having sex with other people. Especially a lot of them."

"If you're the type of person that thinks I'm a 'misogynist' for not wanting other people to have sex with my partner, then you're the exact type of person who's opinion I don't care about lol."

- kilo73

A Normal Job

"Currently I am dating a girl who is a webcam model."

"I love her very much and I am very happy. I accept it and it doesn't really impact our relationship. I see it as a normal job."

"I even help her with videos."

"I don't see anything wrong."

- Danbard_Oil6651

Would And Do

"I would and do."

"I help her out with her OnlyFans and she just got a job at a strip club. It doesn’t Phase me personally, I enjoy showing her off."

"As long as there is Transparency and Communication then it’s just like any other job."

- ThaAussiePanda

After Work

"No. I would not."

"I read about a guy who was dating a porn star. He thought it was great at first, but when he got home from work, and wanted to have sex, she could not."

"Her 'parts' were too sore from work to have sex with him."

- bigwhitedogs

Real People

"Having dated one or two in my lifetime, I can say, unreservedly, that I absolutely would."

"I don't think most people (men) understand (or care) that sex workers are real people just like they are. And honestly, I've always believed that those who would say no are just not very self confident."

- Monk2222

Be Honest

"Burlesque performer here."

"It’s completely ok if you aren’t comfortable with dating someone who works in adult entertainment/sex work/etc. But PLEASE be honest about that with both yourself and your prospective partner before getting into a serious relationship."

"I know far too many burlesque performers/strippers/pro dommes with partners who are ‘ok with it’, but turn around and make passive aggressive comments, or use it as fodder in arguments."

- ThoseArentCarrots

Spare Cash


"My favorite ex was stripping for the first 1/3 of our relationship. She had a lot of extra cash she would sometimes spend on me and hot outfits that she would wear in the bedroom."

"I could’ve handled my own jealousy better, but she eventually left stripping for her own reasons. I would totally do it again (date another sex worker…or her lol)!!!"

- rawr-xd-


"I have no problem with women (or anyone, for that matter) doing sex work, but part of my values in a partner is keeping certain things intimate, between people in a committed relationship."

"If she strips or has sex for money, good for her, but that's a deal-breaker for me regarding serious relationships."

- WilliamBott

Distinguishing Between The Two

"Yes, and I have, more than once."

"I wouldn't specifically seek a girl out just because she's a sex worker but it doesn't give me pause."

"The biggest benefit is that they don't have the same reservations or associations with sex that the majority of women do. I'm not saying I just want f*ck buddies but I would like the decision to be sexually active and the decision to be in a committed relationship to be two different decisions, and sex workers distinguish between the two."

"Just recently a female friend of mine was expressing frustration that she's not emotionally in a place where she should be having romantic relationships but really wants some physical intimacy, but she's afraid that if she even asks she'll be accused of being a slag."

- seless_moniker

It's A Plus

"I've been friends with benefits with an escort for a little over 3 years now, she is also one of my closest and most cherished friendships."

"If I was interested in her romantically I would absolutely want to date her."

"I have very weird and specific sexual needs, which have historically been difficult to implement in the context of a relationship. It is almost a requirement for me that any potential partner be"

"a) very open to experimenting with sex and/or"

"b) be comfortable with a relationship where we can each get our needs met outside the relationship."

"In that sense, it is actually a plus when someone has a job that implies they may be one or both of these things."

- iwanttoendmylife22

Everyone is entitled to their own preferences.

Monogamy is not for everyone the same way that polyamory is not for everyone.

As long as we aren't judging those who are in the sex work field, no harm done.

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People Reveal The Worst Health-Related Advice They've Ever Received

Reddit user Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo asked: 'What is the worst health advice you've been given?'

Whenever we feel like something isn't right about our bodies or we're suffering from some kind of medical issues, we want them taken care of straight away.

The problem with that is, that depending on whom we're getting information from, we tend to believe in the initial diagnosis or remedy because we trust the professional sources and we want quick solutions.

But do doctors and health specialists always know what they're talking about?

Unfortunately, that is not always the case.

Strangers online shared their medical horror stories when Redditor Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo asked:

"What is the worst health advice you've been given?"

Not doing further research into something that raises eyebrows can be a fatal mistake.

Turns Out It Was Brain Cancer

"i went cross eyed and my primary said 'could be a sinus thing, get some mucinex.'”

"turns out it was glioblastoma."

– Guy_Faux

"Wow, that's an absurdly sh**ty doctor. The same thing happened to my mother and it was quickly determined that it was stage 4 lung cancer. She made it about 3 months after that. She was 48 and I was 18 so the idea that any doctor would ignore that is infuriating to me."

– Frisky_Picker

Second Opinion Saves Lives

"My primary doctor kept telling me that nothing was wrong with my thyroid, and I was a hypochondriac."

"I had been told at 12 years old that I had thyroid issues and she told me that doctor was wrong. I had to see a whole other doctor to get a referral to the endocrinologist because she literally refused to refer me to one."

"The endocrinologist said, I had scarring all over my thyroid, I had Hashimoto’s, and my levels were horrible, and she didn’t know what the doctor was talking about. She said she was glad I advocated for myself."

– littlemybb

Tiny Grandchild

"I was not the recipient of this 'advice' but I had a coworker proudly say how small her new grandchild was when they were born and that her daughter smoked her whole pregnancy to try and have a smaller baby. This was in like 2010, not the 1960s for reference."

"ETA: smoked cigarettes. clarified since that can mean more than one thing."

– Emkems

Unforeseen Ailment​

"Was sick for a year in my late teens. Saw multiple specialists to find the cause. Experimented with diet. Saw a naturopath that did some ‘electric pulse test’ thing that apparently gave indicators of organ health. After a few visits, and months of eating the weirdest sh*t, the test said things were improving (including my gallbladder). Months went on but I was still quite sick. I eventually ended up in hospital and one of my specialists decided to take my appendix out on a whim to see if it might help. Turns out I had something called a ‘grumbling appendix’ and it completely fixed me. Funny thing is, while they were in there, they discovered I was born without a gallbladder."

– Ok_Ear_8848

These are not appropriate remedies.

That's Not How That Works

"When I had an urinary tract infection someone told me to wash my vagina with vinegar..."

– _Puke_Bucket_

"And maybe add some diced onions and tomatoes to make a refreshing Mediterranean salad."

– Bos_lost_ton

Pushing Through

"Just push through whenever you're sick. If you can get to a doctor's office for a doctor's certificate you can get to school/college/work."

– BoyMonday

"My childhood pediatrician told my parents that 'A sick child never smiles.'”

"I tend to laugh/smile when I’m nervous or uncomfortable to self regulate."

– pinotproblems

"A doctor once told my parents that a child who isn’t crying can’t really be hurt. Because of that, it took me days to convince my parents to take me to the doctor after I fell on my arm because I wasn’t crying. It turns out it was broken."

– slowsunslumber

"Ignoring" The Problem Isn't A Solution

"A friend of mine was in horrible pain, and was repeatedly told (by multiple doctors) that she should stop complaining and just get used to it because periods are painful and that’s the way it is."

"After being blown off for years, she finally got a doctor to take her pain seriously- and it turned out she had severe endometriosis. The surgeon said it was the worst case he had ever seen in his career, and was horrified that it had gotten so advanced with no one listening to her."

– sapphireblossoms

Choking On Blood

"The school nurse telling me to tilt my head back for a bloody nose. That was an awful experience."

– hypo-osmotic

"I do like doing this because when I cough up the blood I can pretend I’m in a period drama and I have tuberculosis."

– OrangeTree81

These Redditors discovered that all pain is not necessarily "normal."

The C-Word

"Doctor said certain pain is normal as you get older. Turns out it was cancer."


"That's a fibrous strip of breast tissue, you're too young to have breast cancer."

"Delayed diagnosis by 6 months. I was 31."

– juniper_max

Thinking Twice About Back Pain

"I got from a doctor, 'everyone has back pain. There’s nothing wrong with you, just use a heating pad.' It was kidney stones."

– 5hrs4hrs3hrs2hrs1mor

"Yikes, I am so sorry."

"I had a kinda similar experience. I went to the doctor for a morning appointment to get some persistent, worsening back pain checked out. Doc asked me where my back pain was, looked me in the eyes and told me I was fine and must have just slept wrong. He shut me down when I tried to advocate for myself."

"That night, I was admitted to the ER due to the crippling pain I was in. Turns out I had a serious kidney infection that was turning septic."

"One of the ER staff who helped me told me if I had waited another 24 hours, my kidneys would have shut down and I very likely would have died from organ failure?!"

"I’ve been dismissed by doctors over and over again in my personal health journey, and it is so frustrating and scary, as they’ve dismissed me for 'being dramatic' when there’s actually something very serious going on with my body."

– Yarr0wFeather

Vitamin D Overdose

"If you have pale skin, get just a little sunburnt every day so that your skin will 'learn' to get a tan. That’s how everyone else does it."

"My Solar Keratosis skin cancers would beg to disagree."

– comfortablynumb15

As much as we want to believe our doctors when they give us a health assessment and assure us we're "fine," you should never ignore your inner voice telling you that something is not right.

Your conscience is there for a reason.

Even if a doctor tells you it's okay to ignore the problem, you should think twice about ignoring your gut feelings.

Woman speaking to an audience
Photo by Ben Moreland on Unsplash

When giving a speech and making an argument, the most effective way to reach other people or get your point across is to speak with conviction.

However, speaking with conviction doesn't always mean people are speaking the truth... or even coherently.

Redditor MonkeyGentleman420 was curious to hear more stories of ludicrous things people said with unwavering conviction, leading them to ask:

"What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?"

We Know How Often Birds Check Clocks...

'That we set the clocks forwards and backwards so the birds don’t get confused with their migration patterns."- alliecita410

Speaking From Experience?

"'Two people can breathe underwater forever if they have a hose'."

"The first person breathes in while the second breathes out, then the first person breathes out and the second person breathes in etc'."- PahoojyMan

Dream On...

"She said:'

"'If you are dream about falling and you hit the ground in your sleep you'll actually die'."

"'It's been proven'."

"I said 'If you die in your sleep, how can anyone know what you were dreaming?'"

"Ruined a favorite story of hers."

"Sorry."- FrankieMint

falling GIFGiphy

Because ALL Cops Ask For Your SSN Before Cuffing You...

"From a coworker: 'If you don't have a social security number then the government can't do anything to you'."

"I asked if that meant, if I didn't have an SSN then I could just go kill someone on the street and the government couldn't arrest me."

"'Yep', he said, 'if you don't have an SSN then they can't enforce any laws on you'."- AllAboutThePotatoes

Keep Them Away From Needles...

"A former coworker insisted that the body believes the ears are injuries, and we are all constantly trying to heal our own ears closed."

"The only thing keeping them open, you ask?"

"Ear wax."

"We worked in healthcare."- Reflection_Secure

Credit To the Visual Effects Designer

"A girl I worked with was convinced that every single mythological creature was real."

"I’ll never forget one of her claims."

“Think about it, every movie you done seen all those creatures and aliens and sh*t, all that’s real."

"Someone has to have actually seen it to come up with that!”

"Apparently there’s no such thing as the human imagination to her."

"So yes, transformers are real, Godzilla is real, Independence Day is real."

"This was a 20-year-old that said all of this."- Dragonborn83196

Unicorn GIF by MOODMANGiphy

In Theory... Still Wrong!

"That the speed of light wasn’t like an actual number, it was just a figure of speech."- sunbearimon·

Check The Date...

"Sunburn is not caused by the sun, it is actually caused by sunblock."

"If you don't use sunblock then you will never be burned."

"Sunburn was created by the sun cream industry to sell their products."

"Seems easily testable, why not lie on the beach all day in one position with no sun block and see what happens?"

"Make sure you fall asleep for maximum effect."

"You go bright red and then blister to the point that you get taken to hospital for a combination of sunstroke and the beginning of shock then spend the rest of the holiday indoors face down with regular application of creams and replacement paraffin patches on the burns."

"It puts a bit of a dampener on your 2 week break."

"Sunburn is mentioned in Livy's history of the second Punic war and others over 2000 years ago which is solid proof that the 'Big Sunscreen' claim is ridiculous."

"However it would be hand-waved away by a True Believer of big Sunscreen."- Magnus_40

Sonne Sunburn GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphy

Ignorance Is Not Always Bliss...

"A distant relative, recently retired, once told me that he was going to hire a gardener and a housekeeper because 'the government will give you a grant to pay for them now'."

"This was a few minutes after a lengthy rant about how the welfare state should be scrapped because only lazy people lose their jobs and need to claim benefits."

"The same relative, some years ago, also announced with absolute conviction that he was going to hire a neighbor as a cleaner because 'she won't have anything to do now her kids are grown up'."- Plantagenesta

The Price Of Never Looking Up!

"Pineapples aren't real."

"They're entirely manmade and do not exist in nature."- tricksterloki


"My dad was experiencing end stage renal failure (was on dialysis at the time and has since had a transplant)."

"My best friend's boyfriend at the time looked at me dead in the eye and said he could reverse his condition with a vegan diet and that the only important organ in the body was the skin, so as long as you take good care of your skin, your other organs will function properly."

"Mind you, by the time my dad got on dialysis his kidneys were functioning at 11% and his SKIN WAS JUST FINE."- lyingintheleaves

But What Causes Cavities?

"I'm a dental hygienist."

"We had a patient come in with terrible teeth."

"They thought toothpaste caused cancer."- dilapidatedfungus

If Only...

"That women don't burp or fart, because only men have (the ability to pass) gas."

"Spoiler alert: he was horrified when I burped in front of him."- sequoia_summers

Guilt Is Easier When You Know It's Coming.

"First girlfriend was religious, and apparently it was okay that we had sex 'as long as she feels bad about it after'."

"Pre-planning regret was her loophole to do what she wanted."- Lone_Buck

season 2 famalam GIF by BBC ThreeGiphy

When people do speak with conviction, more often than not they firmly believed what they say.

So much so, that they have trouble believing the person brave enough to correct them.

In spite of the concrete evidence thrown in front of them...

Picture of a pink heart tearing in two, hung off a red and white string, set against a black background
Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.

Yes, you of course want to give in to love.

But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.

You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.

Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.

if you see them... run.

Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:

"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"

The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.

I need to do better.

A Big Deal

Illustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy

"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."


"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."


Hear Me!

"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."


"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."


"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."



"Never admitting a mistake."


"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."


"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"


Never Again

"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."


"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."



Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy

"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."


Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.

And know when to depart.


Andre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy

"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."


"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."


Just Kidding

"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"


"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."


"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."

"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."



"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."


"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"


"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."



"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."

"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."

"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."


Talk to Me

Sarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by DivorceGiphy

"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."

"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."


Communication is key.

If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?

Michael Jerrard on Unsplash

People accumulate facts throughout life on a wide variety of subjects.

Some are mundane while others are weird, wild or wonderful.

One subject a lot of people focus on is animals. Most people have a favorite animal that fascinates them that they want to know all about.

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