Sex is an intimate, special time spent between two, or three or four, consenting, responsible (for the most part) adults. It is also one of life's most highly enjoyable activities... well it should be, if you're lucky. So all over the world, right now, as we speak people are doing it everywhere. And in the same instant plenty of people are being interrupted in the middle of the act which can be cause for some great hilarity and calamity. It's all life moments we'll never forget.
Redditor u/an_other_theo wanted to know who had the best "caught on the act" moments they were willing to share with the rest of us by wondering aloud.... People who have been walked in on during sex, what are your horror stories?
***SPOILER- ADULTS ONLY BELOW***
Poker Face.
GiphyMe and my gf (now wife) were in her bedroom, spooning under a blanket. Things got heavy and I slipped it in from behind. Just as I was about to... arrive, her mum walks in with a basket of washing. She put her load away and so did I. After she left, my gf nearly wet herself laughing.
Apparently I have an excellent poker face. Shas_Erra
Don't mind me....
When I was a teenager, my gf's mom walked in on me going down on her daughter. That was weird, but nothing was said, the mother just ran away horrified. JustMyOpinionBrah
I'm Full Sir.
When I was in high school, my gf and I were messing around. Unbeknownst to us the door to the room wasn't locked. I had my face buried in her downstairs mix up and in walks her dad. All I heard was him yelling something about "you know what they're doing in there" and then 30 mins later I sat next to him at dinner. Needless to say I wasn't all that hungry. Am3ncorn3r
Paging Dr. Frued.
There was a night earlier this year where me and my wife thought our kids were in a dead sleep because we waited a good hour after they went to bed to initiate anything. We start checking the rooms to make sure they were asleep and they were. So we start going at it and I'm eating her out and the oldest son is standing at our doorway staring. My initial reaction was to jump up and head to the bathroom and play it off like I had to get up and use it. All I hear in the background from our 7 year old is, "why was daddy's head down by your peepee mommy?" To this day when its bed time he don't come out of his room. It's bad to the point we've found pee bottles on occasion. I think we might need to start therapy for him. just-the-guy
Declining Ownership!
GiphyMy mum walked in on me as a teenager With a particularly "talkative" female friend. "who owns this "vagina"!" Mum bursts in dead eye silence! "it better not be you"
(I've never been able to mess around in my parents house since).
College Daze.
This was back in college. I was dating a woman who I typically saw on the weekends. My roommate (now one of my best friends) was out for whatever reason and my girlfriend was over. So naturally, things happened. Roommate is a socially awkward guy who is sometimes oblivious to even the strongest of hints. So before we got down to it, we put a sock on the door thinking that it should be enough. Roommate comes walking up the stairs (it was a college townhouse living situation) to our room, completely ignored the sock on the door, and walked right in as we scrambled to cover up. He took one look at us and froze in place, then we screamed for him to go. He ran down the stairs and out of the house literally screaming. xMCioffi1986x
"who are you talking to?"
In high school, snuck into girlfriend's basement bedroom in the middle of the night to do things teenagers do. Hear the basement door open and her mom call down "who are you talking to?" I stealthily dive into her closet, buck naked. Listen intently as mom progresses through the basement, opening each door and flicking on the lights, knowing what the final door leads to. Hear her footsteps approaching the door I'm behind. I'm sitting criss cross on the floor, erection raging like a grizzly, slowly trying to cover my Washington monument with whatever random socks and tank tops I can find. "Go to bed" she says, turns around without opening the closet door, and goes back upstairs. lathe_down_sally
It started horrible but ended up pretty good.
My first boyfriend in high school. It was a half-day of school so we went home to bump uglies. We were horny teenagers that figured out how parts fit together. We barely made it in the front door before we got buck naked on the floor. It was very loud. We had already memorized a favorite positions in a pocket karma sutra. We probably looked like we were pornstars on set.
My mother had also come home early. We didn't hear the car, or the door unlock, or her standing there in complete shock. She was trying to get our attention and it wasn't until we were about to change positions that we saw her.
She told us to get dressed and that she needed to talk to both of us. She sat us down and very calmly asked us about our birth control. She told me she would make an appointment at the doctor to get me started on the pill. She gave us both hugs and "I love you but, you need to keep this in your bedroom." She then explained that it's disrespectful to the people you live with to put them in a situation like this as well. I think we went out to eat together afterwards or something I don't really remember.
This first boyfriend lasted through the better part of high school and we are still distant friends. My mother looks at him like a son she never had. He still remembers her to tell her happy mother's day every year and her birthday.
TLDR: It started horrible but ended up pretty good. Arrrrrrrrrt
The Witness.
GiphyMe and my wife where having the sex and my daughter walked in and then ran back out. She looked a little shaken so we started talking to her asked her what did she see. She started stuttering and said butt cheeks. Getswifty1983
Gotta Go!
After a drunken night at the bars I was having sex with this girl in my friend's basement on the couch when his dad (who is good friends with my parents) walked down the stairs. I made eye contact with him right as we start. He looked so freaked out and said "sorry I didn't know anyone was down here" and then turned and walked right back up. We sat there for like 20 minutes too afraid to go upstairs to be able to leave until we finally just sucked it up. He was sitting on the couch in the living room as we were leaving and we said goodbye really fast and booked it outta there.
I think he was kinda mad that we did that since it's pretty disrespectful, but he never really said anything. He did make a joke once about seeing my bare butt "thrusting away" lol. ApparentlyNawt
Whose Hungry?
GiphyI have two young kids. My wife and I thought that we had mastered the art of quick and quiet love-making. We'll put a movie on for them, go upstairs, lock the door, and get after it. Well one time we forgot to lock the door... my wife was on top going away, and I opened my eyes to see my son right next to our bed at eye level with me. He just said "Daddy, can we have a snack?" He left the room as innocently as he entered, or at least I hope. Now we give them snacks first too. Reddit
Fido No!
Had sex with my then-girlfriend. During the... act I felt something strange, while I was on top of her. The room was relatively dark so I didn't see something. I thought it's her, that she is grabbing it, but then I realized that both her hands where on my arms... so something was doing something with my stuff. And before I could even ask her anything I heard a LOUD "WOOOW!"
Her dog entered the room. uk_uk
The First.
Was in my BfFs bedroom with the door shut, I thought it was locked. He was playing Metallica kinda loud to drown out any noises we might make (early 90s). His mom walked in to complain about the music and caught him halfway in the act.... of taking my virginity. She mumbled an apology and quickly turned and left the room, closing the door behind her. He wanted to continue, but I ended it for the day out of embarrassment. It was very awkward when we emerged from the bedroom a little while later for him to take me home. We completed the act a couple days later when we skipped school while no one was home. wdrc36
Farewell Judy Blume...
We were in HS and my family was moving away. Both being virgins, I Had it built up on my head that my BF and I needed some grand Judy Blume-like send off.
Not 30 seconds into the deed, his devout catholic mom came home early and caught us. He and I hopped apart like we were spring loaded. While we dressed, she stood there and lectured us about saving it for marriage, yadda yadda. I walked 3 miles home and moved across the country the next day. Never spoke again. Sorry, Z. Triangle_Graph
GOTCHA!
If you're ever caught in the act of having the sex, you should keep going. Don't stop. Because if you stop, you just got caught having sex and that's weird.
If you keep going, the person that caught you is weird bc they saw people having sex and kept watching. Pmmeyourvacation
'cuddling'
GiphyI think I was 18-19 when it happened. I was at my gf's house watching a movie on her laptop, we had a blanket covering us while 'cuddling' but we were actually stealthily doing. Suddenly her dad walks in and starts talking to us about dinner or something, we played it cool and stopped for a minute and don't think he noticed. Luckily he just walked back out after he was done talking but holy crap that was a close one. dabberoo_2
My Eyes!
We were at his parent's house engaged in some early morning fun and his mom walked into the room to grab our laundry because she thought it would be a nice thing to do (we were just visiting). We were being really quiet, for obvious reasons, and it was like 5:30 in the morning and she assumed we were sleeping. We weren't under the blankets so she got an eyeful!
he was unfazed....
She was definitely a lot more mortified than we were, although I was super embarrassed. My boyfriend just kind of laughed it off though, he was unfazed. When I went downstairs for coffee she just pretended like nothing happened so I did too. It was never spoken of between any of us and that's just how I liked it. ButterLust
Daylight Savings....
A few years ago, my ex gf was on top of me on the couch right in the middle of her room. Suddenly her brother walks in and looks at us in shock. The problem was that we were fully naked, it was in the middle of the day and there was nothing like a blanked to cover up. Felt like you were presented for the whole world to see. He quickly apologized and left but that was quite embarrassing. SenorShinigami
Move Please.
Was hanging out with a girl I met at the bar. We'd been drinking and went back to her house. She had told me that she'd been divorced, no big deal. Well come to find out her "roommate" was her ex-husband. Whilst giving her some attention, he opens the door and politely asks me to move my truck so he can go to the store. Not the most horrific story, but no further sexual escapades were had. foolycoolyglock
"OH MY GOD!"
GiphyYounger sister walked in just as we were hitting out stride. She was old enough to understand exactly what was going on but had never actually seen it before. Couldn't keep her mouth shut. "OH MY GOD!"
Luckily we were able to scramble and get some clothes on before Dad came bounding up the stairs. Needless to say I was kicked out immediately and never allowed in that house again. Kevlar5427
- Children Of Pornstars Explain What It Was Really Like Growing Up - George Takei ›
- People Imagine How They'd Ruin The Mood If Someone Was Having Loud Sex In The Next Hotel Room - George Takei ›
- People Explain Which Activities Get Put Down For No Good Reason - George Takei ›
- People Break Down Which Foods No Longer Taste As Good As They Used To - George Takei ›
- People Confess How Important Sex Really Is To Them In A Relationship - George Takei ›
- Things That Started As A Joke That Are Now Taken Way Too Seriously - George Takei ›
- The Patients That Made Medical Professionals Ask 'Why Didn't You Come In Sooner?' - George Takei ›
When giving a speech and making an argument, the most effective way to reach other people or get your point across is to speak with conviction.
However, speaking with conviction doesn't always mean people are speaking the truth... or even coherently.
Redditor MonkeyGentleman420 was curious to hear more stories of ludicrous things people said with unwavering conviction, leading them to ask:
"What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?"
We Know How Often Birds Check Clocks...
'That we set the clocks forwards and backwards so the birds don’t get confused with their migration patterns."- alliecita410
Speaking From Experience?
"'Two people can breathe underwater forever if they have a hose'."
"The first person breathes in while the second breathes out, then the first person breathes out and the second person breathes in etc'."- PahoojyMan
Dream On...
"She said:'
"'If you are dream about falling and you hit the ground in your sleep you'll actually die'."
"'It's been proven'."
"I said 'If you die in your sleep, how can anyone know what you were dreaming?'"
"Ruined a favorite story of hers."
"Sorry."- FrankieMint
falling GIFGiphyBecause ALL Cops Ask For Your SSN Before Cuffing You...
"From a coworker: 'If you don't have a social security number then the government can't do anything to you'."
"I asked if that meant, if I didn't have an SSN then I could just go kill someone on the street and the government couldn't arrest me."
"'Yep', he said, 'if you don't have an SSN then they can't enforce any laws on you'."- AllAboutThePotatoes
Keep Them Away From Needles...
"A former coworker insisted that the body believes the ears are injuries, and we are all constantly trying to heal our own ears closed."
"The only thing keeping them open, you ask?"
"Ear wax."
"We worked in healthcare."- Reflection_Secure
Credit To the Visual Effects Designer
"A girl I worked with was convinced that every single mythological creature was real."
"I’ll never forget one of her claims."
“Think about it, every movie you done seen all those creatures and aliens and sh*t, all that’s real."
"Someone has to have actually seen it to come up with that!”
"Apparently there’s no such thing as the human imagination to her."
"So yes, transformers are real, Godzilla is real, Independence Day is real."
"This was a 20-year-old that said all of this."- Dragonborn83196
Unicorn GIF by MOODMANGiphyIn Theory... Still Wrong!
"That the speed of light wasn’t like an actual number, it was just a figure of speech."- sunbearimon·
Check The Date...
"Sunburn is not caused by the sun, it is actually caused by sunblock."
"If you don't use sunblock then you will never be burned."
"Sunburn was created by the sun cream industry to sell their products."
"Seems easily testable, why not lie on the beach all day in one position with no sun block and see what happens?"
"Make sure you fall asleep for maximum effect."
"You go bright red and then blister to the point that you get taken to hospital for a combination of sunstroke and the beginning of shock then spend the rest of the holiday indoors face down with regular application of creams and replacement paraffin patches on the burns."
"It puts a bit of a dampener on your 2 week break."
"Sunburn is mentioned in Livy's history of the second Punic war and others over 2000 years ago which is solid proof that the 'Big Sunscreen' claim is ridiculous."
"However it would be hand-waved away by a True Believer of big Sunscreen."- Magnus_40
Sonne Sunburn GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphyIgnorance Is Not Always Bliss...
"A distant relative, recently retired, once told me that he was going to hire a gardener and a housekeeper because 'the government will give you a grant to pay for them now'."
"This was a few minutes after a lengthy rant about how the welfare state should be scrapped because only lazy people lose their jobs and need to claim benefits."
"The same relative, some years ago, also announced with absolute conviction that he was going to hire a neighbor as a cleaner because 'she won't have anything to do now her kids are grown up'."- Plantagenesta
The Price Of Never Looking Up!
"Pineapples aren't real."
"They're entirely manmade and do not exist in nature."- tricksterloki
ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR!!!
"My dad was experiencing end stage renal failure (was on dialysis at the time and has since had a transplant)."
"My best friend's boyfriend at the time looked at me dead in the eye and said he could reverse his condition with a vegan diet and that the only important organ in the body was the skin, so as long as you take good care of your skin, your other organs will function properly."
"Mind you, by the time my dad got on dialysis his kidneys were functioning at 11% and his SKIN WAS JUST FINE."- lyingintheleaves
But What Causes Cavities?
"I'm a dental hygienist."
"We had a patient come in with terrible teeth."
"They thought toothpaste caused cancer."- dilapidatedfungus
If Only...
"That women don't burp or fart, because only men have (the ability to pass) gas."
"Spoiler alert: he was horrified when I burped in front of him."- sequoia_summers
Guilt Is Easier When You Know It's Coming.
"First girlfriend was religious, and apparently it was okay that we had sex 'as long as she feels bad about it after'."
"Pre-planning regret was her loophole to do what she wanted."- Lone_Buck
season 2 famalam GIF by BBC ThreeGiphyWhen people do speak with conviction, more often than not they firmly believed what they say.
So much so, that they have trouble believing the person brave enough to correct them.
In spite of the concrete evidence thrown in front of them...
When you're in a relationship, it's important to stay alert.
Yes, you of course want to give in to love.
But when you start seeing red flags, be vigilant.
You're gut always knows more than you give it credit for.
Sometimes those flags are a sign that it's time to jump ship.
if you see them... run.
Redditor Shinfekta wanted to compare notes on why people would immediately end a relationship, so they asked:
"What red flag is an instant break up reason for you?"
The signs are always there, but I tend to put on blinders.
I need to do better.
A Big Deal
Illustration Text GIF by Jacqueline Jing LinGiphy"Someone that casually says they've cheated. There's no way around that for me."
Kitchen-Bid-8235
"Or worse when they treat cheating as somehow noble."
2diceMisplaced
Hear Me!
"Wanting and demanding my attention but not reciprocating whatsoever."
Cranky_Windlass
"My ex. She would get pissed when she would talk to me about something while I was working and I wasn’t giving her my full attention. But every time I wanted to tell her something while she was doing nothing, she would get 'ADHD distracted' and completely ignore me or interrupt me to say something completely irrelevant."
ModestMustang
"I had a friend like this! he literally completely ignored me for 6 months and then blew up at me for not responding to him within an hour. Very strange."
KindBrilliant7879
Wronged
"Never admitting a mistake."
Curious-Force5819
"I know a total hottie that is notoriously known for not being able to admit he’s wrong, sucks because he’s a gem outside of this. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a fair and responsible person in general… but he 100% can’t admit he was wrong in banter or a light argument even when he realizes he realizes he’s wrong hahaha lost confidence in him ASAP."
Zomgirlxoxo
"This is a big one, even when these types of people apologize they still pass the blame. 'I'm sorry for my behavior but you made me really angry.'"
space_being135513
Never Again
"Unmanaged mental illness. Never again."
RuggedHamster
"I was with a girl that had that and I helped her through all of it and it was so hard to deal with it all but somehow I managed but when she felt better she just left me for her best friend’s ex and I was left with all that trauma because I loved her with all my heart and soul but she was just using me to feel better… and when she broke up with her best friend’s ex she came crawling back begging me to be with her again but it was too late.. the damage has already been done and I can’t do that again even though I still love her but I can’t tell her that... sorry for venting."
d7oomy998899
Afterthought
Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"If someone makes you feel alone, that you don't matter, or if you are a second choice on most of the occasions, you need to leave."
Mycatsnameislegolas
Always know when to acknowledge your feelings.
And know when to depart.
Behavior
Andre Leon Talley Manners GIF by GIPHY NewsGiphy"How they treat animals, children, elderly, handicapped, and service workers."
"A wise man once said: judge a person not by how they treat their equals, but by how they treat their inferiors."
Major-Ad148
Just Kidding
"Being mean as their 'thing' or 'just a joke.'"
netsbr
"'I'm just sassy!'" No, you're a bi*ch."
BansheeShriek
"I’m going to be honest, with certain friends I am absolutely ruthlessly mean, to the point that people are actually concerned it’s just bullying."
"However with strangers, I’m nothing like that. And the friends that I am meant to, they do the exact same thing back to me. We also know that if we need each other, then the meanness is dropped instantly, and it’s nothing but support and love."
5tr4nGe
Well-Meaning
"Zero accountability for anything. Everything they do is absolutely justifiable because, well, they mean well."
Throw_thethrowaway
"Yeah, I was looking for this answer! And it’s true outside of romantic relationships also! I had to end a friendship over this exact behavior- it was never her fault, always the victim, and her hurtful behavior shouldn’t be addressed because she 'meant well…' but my feelings are still hurt so why don’t I matter?!"
helibear90
"This. Can't stand people who always play the victim or blame everyone else and never take accountability for what they do."
_5minutesalone
Boundaries
"This one may take a while, but I would break up if I notice them creeping over personal boundaries, and not stopping when I tell them about it."
"People cross each others' boundaries all the time. I'm happy to give the benefit of the doubt until it becomes apparent that they have no intention to respect me."
"For example, if I don't like tickles or being startled, don't do that. It's not about the tickling, it's about them respecting me. And if there's no respect, there's no relationship."
Ptatofrenchfry
Talk to Me
Sarah Jessica Parker Hbo GIF by DivorceGiphy"If I'm hearing about a problem in our relationship from someone else rather than the partner. It shows huge trust issues."
"I've seen three divorces in my life, and they all were the result of the girl venting to her mother and her friends about issues she should have discussed with her husband."
michajlo
Communication is key.
If you're not talking to you're partner, why are they you're partner?
Reddit user FunChemical3182 asked:
"What is the weirdest animal fact you know?"
Like Perry
"Platypus glow blueish green under ultraviolet light."
"They also don’t have nipples, they just exude milk from glands under the skin and the baby’s lap it up."
~ WakingOwl1
"They have electrolocation in their bills that lets them detect their food under water."
~ DrPlatypus1
"And they lay eggs."
"The more I find out about them the more I understand why people first thought they were fake."
~ Reidroshdy
"After seeing all these platypus facts I am convinced these things are aliens that have been abandoned on Earth."
~ SeattleOne206
Kapow!
"Mantis Shrimp have 16 different sets of cones. Rods and cones are in your eyes. Cones see color, rods see light and motion."
"Dogs have 2 sets of cones—green and blue. Humans have 3 sets of cones—green, blue and red."
"Mantis Shrimp are seeing colors we can't comprehend and explains why they're very colorful."
"That’s not even the strangest thing about them."
"They can also punch as fast as a .22 bullet which cause a cavitation bubble which boils the water around them at temperatures of several thousand Kelvins."
~ RigzDigz
GiphyTerrible Twos
"Cats have the mental capacity of a 2-year-old which makes a lot of sense."
~ Alive_Ad823
Cats Dragging GIFGiphyLike Tinder
"When a female sloth wants a mate she'll hang onto a tree branch and just scream."
~ Remarkable_Sink2542
GiphyGood Thing They're So Small
"Dragonflies are the most successful predators on Earth."
"When lions choose prey they have like a 10% chance of catching it."
"African painted dogs—who hunt in packs—have the highest kill rate of any mammal, successfully catching 51% of their prey."
"When a dragonfly locks onto a target, it has a 99.9% success rate!"
~ PurpleInevitable2103
GiphyOn A Swivel
"Owls have really long necks, but it's hard to notice that because their feathers are so fluffy."
~ ergonaut
GiphyWhat About Cousin It?
"Sea otters are the most densely furred animal with 600,000 to 1,000,000 hair follicles per square inch."
"Dogs have about 15,000 per square inch, humans on average are between 800 to 1,290 hairs per square inch."
~ atom1129
Giphy
Sucker Punchers
"Octopus punch other fish for no reason—so, for fun."
~ Samanthalynn8915
"There's a direct correlation between species' intelligence and dickish behavior."
~ TheDesktopNinja
Looks Are Deceiving
"Polar bear fur isn't white—it's translucent (for most frequencies of light). And they have black skin underneath."
"So polar bear fur lets all the light through to their black skin to warm them—except for a few visible frequencies to keep them camouflaged as white."
~ seedanrun
GiphyWho's Going To Attack One‽‽
"Honey badgers can turn their a**holes inside out and use the smell to deter attackers."
"Not sure what exactly has the guts to attack a honey badger, but if they have the courage to do so, the badger sure as hell isn’t gonna make it easy."
~ nonexistantauthor
GiphyBig Momma
"The Blanket Octopus exhibits the highest degree of sexual dimorphism known."
"Females: About 6 feet across."
"Males: About one inch."
~ Fabulous-Pause4154
High Times
"Dolphins will intentionally use puffer fish to get high."
~ altkaldra
"They upset blowfish so they inflate, and therefore emit poison. It gets the dolphins high. Then they pass it around, literally."
~ smack4u
"Not just the dolphins. I recently saw a video about 10 animals that like to get high. Very interesting."
~ s137leo__
"Lemurs do that with giant centipedes/millipedes too."
~ chubbyknuckles420
Fabrizio Frigeni on Unsplash
Better Than Bike Helmets
"Woodpeckers' tongues wrap around their brains to cushion them from the vibrations of slamming their face into trees all day."
~ we_made_yewww
"Their tongues also have barbs to grab bugs out of the holes."
"Their brains have additional cushioning because, you know, they spend their days smashing their face as hard as possible into trees."
~ RhynoD
Detachable Organs
"Argonauts [paper nautili] are small octopuses that are too lazy to have intercourse."
"They detach their penises and toss them into the open sea to mate with female argonauts."
"The detachable 'd*ck' is a tiny tentacle, complete with suckers and sperm, that develops in a cavity under the eye of a male argonaut [paper nautilus]."
"When it's time to mate, the tentacle explodes out of the cavity, instantly killing the male argonaut. The tentacle then swims towards a female argonaut to insert itself."
"Sexy, huh?"
~ Schwarzes__Loch
What's your favorite weird animal fact?