Poker Face.

Me and my gf (now wife) were in her bedroom, spooning under a blanket. Things got heavy and I slipped it in from behind. Just as I was about to... arrive, her mum walks in with a basket of washing. She put her load away and so did I. After she left, my gf nearly wet herself laughing.

Apparently I have an excellent poker face. Shas_Erra

Don't mind me.... 

When I was a teenager, my gf's mom walked in on me going down on her daughter. That was weird, but nothing was said, the mother just ran away horrified. JustMyOpinionBrah

I'm Full Sir. 

When I was in high school, my gf and I were messing around. Unbeknownst to us the door to the room wasn't locked. I had my face buried in her downstairs mix up and in walks her dad. All I heard was him yelling something about "you know what they're doing in there" and then 30 mins later I sat next to him at dinner. Needless to say I wasn't all that hungry. Am3ncorn3r

Paging Dr. Frued. 

There was a night earlier this year where me and my wife thought our kids were in a dead sleep because we waited a good hour after they went to bed to initiate anything. We start checking the rooms to make sure they were asleep and they were. So we start going at it and I'm eating her out and the oldest son is standing at our doorway staring. My initial reaction was to jump up and head to the bathroom and play it off like I had to get up and use it. All I hear in the background from our 7 year old is, "why was daddy's head down by your peepee mommy?" To this day when its bed time he don't come out of his room. It's bad to the point we've found pee bottles on occasion. I think we might need to start therapy for him. just-the-guy

Declining Ownership!

My mum walked in on me as a teenager With a particularly "talkative" female friend. "who owns this "vagina"!" Mum bursts in dead eye silence! "it better not be you"

(I've never been able to mess around in my parents house since).

College Daze. 

This was back in college. I was dating a woman who I typically saw on the weekends. My roommate (now one of my best friends) was out for whatever reason and my girlfriend was over. So naturally, things happened. Roommate is a socially awkward guy who is sometimes oblivious to even the strongest of hints. So before we got down to it, we put a sock on the door thinking that it should be enough. Roommate comes walking up the stairs (it was a college townhouse living situation) to our room, completely ignored the sock on the door, and walked right in as we scrambled to cover up. He took one look at us and froze in place, then we screamed for him to go. He ran down the stairs and out of the house literally screaming. xMCioffi1986x

"who are you talking to?"

In high school, snuck into girlfriend's basement bedroom in the middle of the night to do things teenagers do. Hear the basement door open and her mom call down "who are you talking to?" I stealthily dive into her closet, buck naked. Listen intently as mom progresses through the basement, opening each door and flicking on the lights, knowing what the final door leads to. Hear her footsteps approaching the door I'm behind. I'm sitting criss cross on the floor, erection raging like a grizzly, slowly trying to cover my Washington monument with whatever random socks and tank tops I can find. "Go to bed" she says, turns around without opening the closet door, and goes back upstairs. lathe_down_sally

It started horrible but ended up pretty good. 

My first boyfriend in high school. It was a half-day of school so we went home to bump uglies. We were horny teenagers that figured out how parts fit together. We barely made it in the front door before we got buck naked on the floor. It was very loud. We had already memorized a favorite positions in a pocket karma sutra. We probably looked like we were pornstars on set.

My mother had also come home early. We didn't hear the car, or the door unlock, or her standing there in complete shock. She was trying to get our attention and it wasn't until we were about to change positions that we saw her.

She told us to get dressed and that she needed to talk to both of us. She sat us down and very calmly asked us about our birth control. She told me she would make an appointment at the doctor to get me started on the pill. She gave us both hugs and "I love you but, you need to keep this in your bedroom." She then explained that it's disrespectful to the people you live with to put them in a situation like this as well. I think we went out to eat together afterwards or something I don't really remember.

This first boyfriend lasted through the better part of high school and we are still distant friends. My mother looks at him like a son she never had. He still remembers her to tell her happy mother's day every year and her birthday.

TLDR: It started horrible but ended up pretty good. Arrrrrrrrrt

The Witness.

Me and my wife where having the sex and my daughter walked in and then ran back out. She looked a little shaken so we started talking to her asked her what did she see. She started stuttering and said butt cheeks. Getswifty1983

Gotta Go! 

After a drunken night at the bars I was having sex with this girl in my friend's basement on the couch when his dad (who is good friends with my parents) walked down the stairs. I made eye contact with him right as we start. He looked so freaked out and said "sorry I didn't know anyone was down here" and then turned and walked right back up. We sat there for like 20 minutes too afraid to go upstairs to be able to leave until we finally just sucked it up. He was sitting on the couch in the living room as we were leaving and we said goodbye really fast and booked it outta there.

I think he was kinda mad that we did that since it's pretty disrespectful, but he never really said anything. He did make a joke once about seeing my bare butt "thrusting away" lol. ApparentlyNawt

Whose Hungry?

I have two young kids. My wife and I thought that we had mastered the art of quick and quiet love-making. We'll put a movie on for them, go upstairs, lock the door, and get after it. Well one time we forgot to lock the door... my wife was on top going away, and I opened my eyes to see my son right next to our bed at eye level with me. He just said "Daddy, can we have a snack?" He left the room as innocently as he entered, or at least I hope. Now we give them snacks first too. Reddit

Fido No! 

Had sex with my then-girlfriend. During the... act I felt something strange, while I was on top of her. The room was relatively dark so I didn't see something. I thought it's her, that she is grabbing it, but then I realized that both her hands where on my arms... so something was doing something with my stuff. And before I could even ask her anything I heard a LOUD "WOOOW!"

Her dog entered the room. uk_uk

The First.

Was in my BfFs bedroom with the door shut, I thought it was locked. He was playing Metallica kinda loud to drown out any noises we might make (early 90s). His mom walked in to complain about the music and caught him halfway in the act.... of taking my virginity. She mumbled an apology and quickly turned and left the room, closing the door behind her. He wanted to continue, but I ended it for the day out of embarrassment. It was very awkward when we emerged from the bedroom a little while later for him to take me home. We completed the act a couple days later when we skipped school while no one was home. wdrc36

Farewell Judy Blume...

We were in HS and my family was moving away. Both being virgins, I Had it built up on my head that my BF and I needed some grand Judy Blume-like send off.

Not 30 seconds into the deed, his devout catholic mom came home early and caught us. He and I hopped apart like we were spring loaded. While we dressed, she stood there and lectured us about saving it for marriage, yadda yadda. I walked 3 miles home and moved across the country the next day. Never spoke again. Sorry, Z. Triangle_Graph

GOTCHA!

If you're ever caught in the act of having the sex, you should keep going. Don't stop. Because if you stop, you just got caught having sex and that's weird.

If you keep going, the person that caught you is weird bc they saw people having sex and kept watching. Pmmeyourvacation

'cuddling'

I think I was 18-19 when it happened. I was at my gf's house watching a movie on her laptop, we had a blanket covering us while 'cuddling' but we were actually stealthily doing. Suddenly her dad walks in and starts talking to us about dinner or something, we played it cool and stopped for a minute and don't think he noticed. Luckily he just walked back out after he was done talking but holy crap that was a close one. dabberoo_2

My Eyes! 

We were at his parent's house engaged in some early morning fun and his mom walked into the room to grab our laundry because she thought it would be a nice thing to do (we were just visiting). We were being really quiet, for obvious reasons, and it was like 5:30 in the morning and she assumed we were sleeping. We weren't under the blankets so she got an eyeful!

he was unfazed....

She was definitely a lot more mortified than we were, although I was super embarrassed. My boyfriend just kind of laughed it off though, he was unfazed. When I went downstairs for coffee she just pretended like nothing happened so I did too. It was never spoken of between any of us and that's just how I liked it. ButterLust

Daylight Savings....

A few years ago, my ex gf was on top of me on the couch right in the middle of her room. Suddenly her brother walks in and looks at us in shock. The problem was that we were fully naked, it was in the middle of the day and there was nothing like a blanked to cover up. Felt like you were presented for the whole world to see. He quickly apologized and left but that was quite embarrassing. SenorShinigami

Move Please. 

Was hanging out with a girl I met at the bar. We'd been drinking and went back to her house. She had told me that she'd been divorced, no big deal. Well come to find out her "roommate" was her ex-husband. Whilst giving her some attention, he opens the door and politely asks me to move my truck so he can go to the store. Not the most horrific story, but no further sexual escapades were had. foolycoolyglock

"OH MY GOD!"

Younger sister walked in just as we were hitting out stride. She was old enough to understand exactly what was going on but had never actually seen it before. Couldn't keep her mouth shut. "OH MY GOD!"

Luckily we were able to scramble and get some clothes on before Dad came bounding up the stairs. Needless to say I was kicked out immediately and never allowed in that house again. Kevlar5427