Romance novels, romantic films and TV shows, advertisements, and society at large has made the gift of flowers a symbol of love, condolences, well wishes, or congratulations.
The actual act of giving flowers goes back centuries to ancient Greece, China, Egypt, the Victorian Era, and has evolved even in the last 100 years. In 1917, advertisers made giving flowers to mothers and grandmothers on Mother's Day a staple of the holiday.
Different eras and cultures have changed the way we view the importance of flowers or even the meaning behind the type of flower we are gifting. It shifted to become a gendered gesture most prodominantly in the Victorian Era as a way to express specific feelings for a romantic partner because it wasn't acceptable to share emotions outwardly.
For some reason, we still emphasize that gendered nature and restrict flower-giving to men and flower receiving to women. But what's wrong with a man getting flowers from a woman?
For some reason, we need to come up with an alternative gift for men so they don't feel emasculated (and that's on toxic masculinity). We wanted to find out what those gifts are.
So Redditor Charn22 asked:
"What is the male equivalent of buying a women flowers?"
Let's see what the men have to say.
Different kind of flower.
"I also enjoy flowers. My wife gets me the best Indica."
"Last Friday after a long day of work my girlfriend, who doesn't like weed, surprised me with a nice bag of Indica and told me to smoke for the weekend."
"I've been internally thinking about marriage a lot more this last week…"
"That's is what sealed the deal for our marriage!! She hunted down my favorite strain 100% pure DJ Short Blueberry…I looked for months found variations but never the original…made my year and was just a 'I love you gift,' no occasion; a keeper! 10 years and two kids later still in love!"
"That's love there."
Don't buy anything at all.
"Thoughtful, romantic materialistic items are great, however I'd be more than satisfied with a hug and a kiss."
"Back rub. My wife actually enjoys rubbing my back. It's good to be me."
It's the little things.
"Some guys like gifts, some guys don't. I don't like gifts, but that's also because I've dated spoiled rich girls who expected them and that experience sort of ruined it for me. But there are other ways to show appreciation."
"My current girlfriend does this one thing that always makes me smile. I am a heavy sleeper and I have a hard time getting up early in the morning. She's a morning person so she's always up ahead of me so now she likes to get up while I'm still sleeping and makes coffee for me. She doesn't even drink coffee and at first didn't even know what proportions to use."
"It makes me smile every time because getting my morning coffee is the first thing I do every day. It's a small gesture but it's one I really appreciate because I always wake up very sleepy. She usually wakes me up getting back in bed and now that I know what she's doing, it gives me a great opportunity to show my appreciation in another way."
"You should, like, marry her and stuff."
"I just about cried when my last GF first made me coffee in the morning... when no one's ever done that for you before it's a seriously big deal!"
"Nice to know some men appreciate it. My ex always took me doing stuff like that for granted. I even got up and did it DESPITE not being a morning person at all, but I was always a lighter sleeper so I was usually up first anyway."
Who doesn't love snacks?
"My late husband disliked going into stores, so I would often buy his favourite treats for him while shopping."
"Love me some snacks. Ice cream too. My son usually gets 'em all but sometimes the wife remembers mine and I'm stoked when she does."
"My ex loved 6 packs of beer and a foot long Bellacino's chicken grinder. I gave him that one year for Valentine's Day along with a VHS tape full of MMA fight matches to watch instead of going out to dinner. He almost cried. That was a good day."
Food is the way to a mans heart.
"'Honey, I was passing your favorite restaurant and I picked you up a cheeseburger and onion rings. I hope that's ok.' Yes, it's ok."
"My wife would have to call me to let me know she ran out of gas driving around trying to decide which place to stop at."
"I'd marry a woman who does that twice. hot diggity!"
Actually, maybe flowers aren't that bad of an idea.
"Buying a guy flowers."
"I would be very touched if a girl gave me flowers. I would never forget that."
"I love it when my fiancé buys me flowers. They look nice in the house, they smell nice, and it's a gift showing they care about me! There is literally no down side… unless it would completely shatter someone's fragile masculinity."
"My wife doesn't like getting cut flowers because she would prefer they didn't die for her "enjoyment." Potted flowers are okay."
"I don't dislike flowers, they are just invisible to me. If my wife puts a vase of flowers somewhere, I won't even notice until she points them out. Several times in the past, she has gone away for a week and come back and asked why I haven't thrown away the dead flowers. I never even noticed there were flowers there, let alone that they died, lol."
But it's not for everyone, just as not all women like flowers either.
"So I've seen men mention this a number of times on reddit. I therefore decided to get my partner some for his birthday (in addition to other things), and he was NOT impressed. It sucked."
"First time I ever bought flowers for a boyfriend he made it very awkward. 'Um, thanks? You don't buy men flowers.' Strict gender role adherence can really make a person miss out on small joys!"
"A direct equivalent would just be a nice plant. Personally I'm not very into flowers, they seem impractical because they wilt away after a few days. But a nice plant that can stick around for a while would be cool."
There are plenty of ways you can treat your partner and show your appreciation for them. What's important to remember that, regardless of gender, everyone is different.
We have to be specific and pay attention to our partners. Treating them like they deserve to be treated, with respect and adoration, is important and necessary to making them feel appreciated.
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"Sisters are doing it for themselves." Y'all remember that song? One of the last century's best female empowerment anthems. How can you top Annie Lenox and Aretha? You can't, so you just bask in the glow. Sisters got it all under control.
But even though women are highly capable of anything, there are certain actions and everyday moments that just come a little easier. Sometimes women are just more in tune, or are built better for a certain situation. Let's discuss.
A Redditor who recently deleted their account left the interwebs with a question for the ladies, by asking:
What is easier to do if you're a woman?
I've always found women to be better actors right off the bat. I believe it's because women are less afraid to tap into emotion. And that can be because society said it was ok for them to do it from birth.
Hips Don't LieShakira Hips GIF by Latin GRAMMYsGiphy
"Carry anything on your hip."
"Survive the NICU -- apparently girls do much better in the NICU than boys do and tend to have less health complications. We heard that time and time again as parents to a 29 weeker girl. Quick source (but there are others): https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/04/150428151510.htm"
"I remember reading a while back that it is because girls have the equivalent of an extra week of development because they don't need to develop boy bits. I'm 25 week white/hispanic boy who survived the NICU in 1990. They were very very shocked."
"When I was babysitting once and me, the girl (7) and the boy (5) were playing in the street and a women came up and tried to take the kids away from me, asking all sorts of questions about who I was and if they were okay, she even asked if I was hurting them. She then tried to physically take them away from me. I imagine that wouldn't happen if there was a women looking after them."
"Physical contact? If I feel like it if I need a hug, I can just cuddle with my girlfriends. I don't think its' that easy for guys."
"Just specifically with girls though. I seem to make easier friends with guys and want to hug them but feel like it will get weird (as it has in the past). It makes me sad. Like, I love you, man and I want to hug you when I feel like it (not just when you're super sad and it's obviously a non-sexual hug)."
public cleaningjoel mchale baby GIFGiphy
"Changing babies in public. Many men's rooms do not have baby changing stations."
I need better hips. And women can keep babies and all the mess that comes with them. Physical contact, why are men so adverse to it? So much therapy here to chat about.
No QuestionsHelping Schitts Creek GIF by CBCGiphy
"Help a child without suspicion or judgement."
In the Air
"Apparently women fighter pilots handle g-forces better than men, mainly due to being shorter and their heart not having to work so hard to pump blood to their brains (short men also handle g-forces easier for the same reason)."
"Yep. As a tall guy (6'4"), g forces mess with me big time. In fact, 2 weeks ago i passed out on an especially intense roller coaster. My wife, who was sitting next to me for the ride cackled with laughter when we saw the on ride picture and i was out like a light."
Will you tell her?"
"Compliment any complete stranger. As a dude, I have to very careful complimenting strangers. I will actually tell my wife, "check her hair out, it's super cool. Will you tell her?" And she will, and it made that stranger's day. Just wish I could do that more often without being seen as creepy. This especially applies to children. It's a big no-no for a 41 year old guy to compliment a child saying they look super pretty. Woman - no issue."
"Since the majority of posts here are sexual, I'll bite: sales. Seriously females salespeople are on average much more successful than their male counterparts. In my industry (industrial sales), it's an open understanding that our typical sales contact (older middle-aged male) is much more interested in talking to females than males. Huge sales buff if you are young AND at least a little attractive."
"If you are a hard working, quick witted and social young female looking for a high paying job without education requirements, I would strongly encourage you to look into B2B sales. All of the technical knowledge you can learn on the job."
Man's Workwonder woman GIFGiphy
"Have someone help you with mechanical/electrical/car work. So many people believe men just know how to do that stuff and will look down on guys who don't. As a woman, people assume I don't know what I'm doing with that kind of stuff. Sexist, but helps me, I guess."
The ladies got it going on. That's why I always think of my mom as a hero. There are just somethings men are never going to measure up to. That's ok, talent is meant to be dispersed.
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There's an old saying that describes women as a mystery; however, today we're going to crack the case…well, at least a little bit. This thread allowed men to ask the questions they've always wondered about in a safe, informative zone. This can be difficult in face-to-face conversations where personal or private questioning is not always appropriate.
Have you ever wondered what women really do at sleepovers? What do they think of your flirting? Or the truth behind "size doesn't matter" but could never really ask? Then this one is for you. We've lined up some of the most common questions that people don't dare ask from one Redditor's bold question.
Redditor _somename_ asked:
"Men, what are some questions you've always wanted to ask women, but were too embarrassed?"
The responses from the women of Reddit were helpful and matter of fact even when it came to some would-be awkward questions.
“How are most of you not bald? I swear I can make a muppet with the amount of hair my partner and female friends seamlessly dump all over the house. Why the h*ll am I pulling a 2 ft long hair out of my a**crack lmao” RealFlyForARyGuy
“Women's hair thins with age, too, and some do actually experience a degree of baldness. More woman than you realize are wearing toppers, extensions, or wigs.“
“Women losing their hair is way, way, WAY less socially acceptable than men losing theirs, so those who suffer from hair loss tend ito go to great lengths hide it, in a similar way to how we are so secretive about how much hair grows everywhere else on our bodies.” AccessibleBeige
Flirting vs. being nice?
“How do I differentiate between a woman flirting with me and just complementing me?" Issac_-
“Compliments aren't stretched out for long periods of time unless you're in a relationship. People usually give 1 or 2 compliments then continue the conversation. While flirting will be part of most of the conversation." Blake-Bell
“If she's at work, just assume she's not flirting. She might be, but it's way more likely that she's not and it's just too messy and awkward. So don't hit on baristas or bartenders or cashiers." Mehhhhhhhjay
Yes, please, just shave it!
“Not embarrassed to ask this but since women are giving their honest opinions, how do y'all feel about being attracted to guys who are balding/bald at a young age (20-25)? Does it make a big difference to you?” arixrdc
“Personal opinion, shaving it off is way hotter than going for the prince William look of pretending like it's not happening. Just shave it. If you are able to, grow some facial hair, that balances out the shaved head. But it's not important.” Hoppinginpuddles
Conversation skills don’t always come naturally…
“How should I approach/ meet people? I'm really shy and bad at conversing and genuinely believe I'm probably going to end up alone since I'm 30 and can't talk to people like an adult.” Panicradar
“So there are a few things that I want to touch on here. One, if you are approaching a strange woman in public that you're romantically interested in, you need to tread very carefully. Women are socially conditioned to be polite even when we feel uncomfortable/threatened.”
“So if you are going to try, you need to be very aware of leaving ways for her to exit the conversation (both socially/verbally and physically--a lot of guys I know unwittingly block exits because they don't realize how big they look/don't have to constantly worry about safety like that).”
“Beyond that, practice. I once went without answering ‘good’ or ‘fine’ to ‘how are you’ for a few weeks as a challenge. Even just switching to something like ‘It's almost the weekend’ or ‘I can't wait for spring’ and a smile to the checker at the grocery store gets a much more warm and genuine response back.”
“They'd tell me about how they heard the weather would warm up soon or tell me if it was almost the end of their shift. I didn't form any deep relationships with them or anything, but it gave me the confidence to at least try to talk to people in other areas of my life.” tonightbeyoncerides
The question most men want to know…
“Does penis size actually matter to y'all?” DefectiveJay
“It's like boob size. A vocal minority cares a lot, the rest is just happy with what is there.” Allegutennamenweg
Different ways to support…
“How do I support you in public if I'm anxious and nonconfrontational? If someone's being kinda creepy I may not feel confident enough to speak up... what is the next best thing to do?" SeatDisastrous2262
“Get us out of the situation quickly and safely. You don't have to fight someone to show us that you want to keep us safe. Support us by helping us get to safety and be open to talking about it after." OIWantKenobi
Someting to never ask irl...
“Do periods stink?” OrdinaryBallowski2
“The metallic smell is the iron from your body. You are shedding so much blood and loosing that iron. That's why some people tend to get super thirsty/dry mouth, chew ice, or get light headed while on their period.” jadapotatoe
People Share The Craziest Lies They've Told That Came True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
FYI, its like carrying a bowling ball in your groin that kicks and makes you puke…
“How do pregnancies feel? is it like carrying a backpack on the chest? is the baby pulling down? does it block ways of sitting?” SlimeCrafterLP
“This can vary among women and which stage of pregnancy they are in. At first, you might not feel anything or your pelvis might feel really tender and kind of bloated. At a certain point you can start to feel movement inside.”
“When the baby is small and has space to move around it might feel like a flutter. After the baby is bigger and space in the uterus decreases it can feel like getting poked and prodded from the inside. This can make the pregnant woman feel happy and reassured but also sometimes uncomfortable.”
“Sometimes the baby will kick you in the ribs or push into your back. You could compare it to carrying a backpack but imagine that the back pack is inside your body.”
“After a certain point it does feel like the baby is pulling down on your body especially if the belly sticks out a lot. Being pregnant can make different physical positions uncomfortable but again, it depends on the person and the stage of pregnancy.” JstVisitingThsPlanet
“Are women's bathrooms really cleaner than men's? I've heard that they just get cleaned more often.” ChronoLegion2
“It depends! I've used men's public restrooms before in a pinch, and I find it's usually just different kinds of messy. Women's restrooms would have the occasional blood stains or hygiene product that isn't properly disposed of, and men's restrooms would be more likely to have feces where it didn't belong. Plus, sticky floors? Especially near the urinals.”
“You're definitely right about the cleanliness thing! I find it more common with women to be concerned about dirt or grime, with more leeway being given to regular clutter (clothes on the floor, books scattered around, etc). My dad and brothers both seem pretty blind to nasty messes.”
“They'll leave used plates and bowls or cups in their rooms for days, let their trash cans pile up with god knows what, and I've seen them wipe their runny noses on their clothes way too much.” Lilac_Summers
“…get smashed and order stupid amounts of food…"
“What do you actually do at sleepovers?” yrrrrrrrr
“Talk about guys and gals we think are cute, watch movies (usually Disney or horror), listen to music, play video games (Mario kart, Mario party, super smash bros, just dance, etc), take over the kitchen to bake at 3am, dance around in our pajamas, try out ridiculous or extravagant makeup looks, and occasionally play dress up, too! and depending on our age, get f**kin smashed and order stupid amounts of food lmao.” Lilac_Summers
Period planning 101
“How do you plan around periods? Do you have a calendar for when you're due and put protective measures around that time? Do you just wear something all the time? Or do you bleed on your underwear on a regular basis?” Alyeanna
“I have a calendar and know when it's coming +- 2 days. It does not come like BOOM a lot of blood, usually it starts with a few little drops I notice when whiping after peeing and then I know i should probably put my cup in in a few hours.” Rayancanmore
No, no it does not…
“Always heard some women say ‘wasn't able to walk after sex’ does that mean the guy was good/ideal?” Bbclive123
“Not necessarily, sometimes guys go overboard and are pretty thrust happy and that doesn't always mean that it was pleasurable.” MarieLouise01
“women feel pressured to make men happy even if we aren't interested.”
“What's better? - A guy asking your cell number. - A guy giving his number and saying ‘I had a good time with you and would like to message/call/see you again. Here's my number, text me if you like’.” Somnscipios
“The second one for sure. Sometimes women feel pressured to make men happy even if we aren't interested. The second one is thoughtful and conscientious, and if I was still dating I would personally be more inclined to reach out if a guy offered me the second option.” OlWantKenobi
Hints she might like you bro…
“What hints do girls give when they are interested?” shanidar1
“Here's my personal signs that I'm into a guy! I make and maintain eye contact with him more, I'm more likely to touch him casually (on the arms, shoulders, do the whole ‘you have something on your face/in your hair, can I get it?’ routine, stuff like that!), my body language is more ‘open’ and relaxed, and I tend to face him with my whole body!”
“Not just with my face, unless, y'know, I'm not physically able to face him with my whole body. Plus, I'll make comments on his physical appearance! ‘Wow, your hair looks different today! Did you put something in it?’ or ‘That shirt looks really good on you! You should wear it more often.’”
“Stuff like that! I try and really listen to what he says, and try to remember stuff he likes or is interested in! Back when I worked retail, I was always baking stuff and trying out new recipes on my coworkers. If I had a crush on a guy, he'd be one of the first people I'd bring something to.”
“Or if it was something I'd made before that I knew he'd like, I'd save him a couple extra and give them to him personally, instead of just letting him find a tray of cookies in the break room. That last one is really specific to me though because not everyone is super into baking like I am!” Lilac_summers
Different sex drives…
“Are women as horny as men are?” Intelligent _Maize_71
“Women want sex just as much as men do, but we do not get turned on the same way. Emotional intimacy and safety ignites interest a lot more than straight up propositions. Women are often objectified, and straightforward propositions are often a turn off.”
“Women who are openly sexual are slutshamed, and receive more unwanted propositions. It's just easier to save all of that excitement for the bedroom.” VansChar_
For real, avoid the tangents…
“So what would be the best way to bring a girl into the stuff you like: hobbies, favorite shows, movies, etc. etc. I'll gladly admit that I'm an über nerd that gets excitable over the stuff I like. When I get on topic I can get going on several tangents that I'm just blazing through cause I just LOVE this stuff that I'm talking about.”
“Unfortunately I've seen it happen all too often where eyes glaze over and you just get the polite ‘Yeah!’ and ‘Mmhm!’ with a nod here and there. It kind of makes just not want to share. So what's the way to try and bring you in enough to where maybe we can actually talk about it rather than me just talking at you.” Qant00AT
“First of all you can't really make someone like something. You can try to introduce it little by little, maybe find some aspects of it that you know will interest her. It's desirable to be passionate about something but DO NOT talk for hours about it if you see she's bored. Also show some interest in her own hobbies.” mmmaja_s
It is individual choice…
“Do you feel makeup is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy? Like wearing foundation to remedy your complexion, it messes up your complexion, then you have to wear more? I've always felt men have better skin…sometimes.” Jocfrost
“I agree. Plus you wear makeup to ‘fix’ your complexion, then you only feel pretty when you're spending so much time and makeup to look a certain way. I want to wear makeup because I think the designs are pretty, but I'm waiting until I'm genuinely happy with the way I look so I don't depend on makeup for self confidence.” Strong-Second-2446
Online dating can be rough…
“When you put on your dating profile "don't just say 'hey' or 'how are you'" then what do you want is to open with?” RetailDrone7576
“Well, I always like it when a guy opens with something that shows he read my profile! Maybe a reference to some of my listed hobbies? Questions about my schooling? Something casual, not like interview style questions.” Lilac_summers
Consent before touch is sexy j/s…
“Should I ask or should I just go in for the kiss? I feel like I'm good at reading the situation but I always ask first because I'm not brave enough to just go in for it.” thatguy2650
“It is completely okay to ask! I've had guys ask me before and I always think it is so nice of them to ask for consent before, especially because I've had guys not ask and me not want to be kissed. So asking before especially if it were like a first or second date is very refreshing.” cheetosgoldenhoney
They can seriously hurt…
“How painful are periods actually. I have had a girl tell me it feels like every bone is being broken which no offense if it's true but I think that's an over exaggeration. So how painful is it really.” Iamultraweeb
“They can be extraordinarily painful, especially if you have a condition called endometriosis. It can literally feel like you're being gutted with a knife. Sometimes it's just a dull ache.”
“The thing about period cramps is that they can spread to your back/kidney area, and medications don't work for everyone. Plus we have to continue on with our day while being hormonal and uncomfortable and in pain and bleeding.”
“It's a big suck all around. And, a lot of women experience diarrhea while on their period so that's super fun too. Birth control can help with period pain, but for some women it's horrendous and for others it is manageable.” OlWantKenobi
Some of these questions wouldn't exactly be appropriate in the real world so we're glad we got to get answers here.
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Like male birds with vibrant feathers and complicated mating ritual dances, straight men will go to absurd lengths to win the attention of women.
Go to any bar or club. Scan the room and undoubtedly come across bicep-clenching shirt sleeves and loud male voices screaming into the ear of a less-than-enthusiastic listener on the dance floor.
That's not to say there are plenty of wonderful traits that draw women to men. There's a reason marriage and procreation continues.
But for all those success stories, there are so many instances that involve a man trying to win the heart of a woman using means that are antithetical to what she actually values.
Redditor Londoner421 asked:
"Women, what's the least attractive quality in a man that they usually think is attractive?"
Many women responded by describing the men who apparently feel the need to convince others that they're worthy of attention.
But nobody likes a sales pitch.
"Treating dates like an informercial for themselves." -- zazzlekdazzle
" 'But wait, there's more! Have sex with me within the next 90 minutes and you'll get not one, not two, but THREE extra orgasms! Be the envy of all of your friends with this limited one-time-only offer!' " -- nubsauce87
Wall Flower Opposite
"Over-confidence or the need to show off" -- Glasswall1
"*Famous last words: 'Hey guys! Look what I can do!!'*👍" -- AndringRasew
"TLDR: insecurity" -- lipcrnb
Nobody Cares, Dude
"Bragging about having money" -- lockdownhype
"My love will take you around the world, but my bank account won't get us past the airport." -- InternetKidsAreMean
"Nice. I'm broke af" -- RogueDeku
A Fine Line
" 'Knowing' everything. Sure, intelligence is nice, but it's fu**ing transparent when you start bullshitting just so you don't have to admit there's something you don't know. Especially if I do know it."
Other women talked about the more toxic elements of masculinity.
"Being overly aggressive with other people. Like, you are out at a club with him and he is ready to pick fights with anyone who (he thinks) looks at him or me wrong."
"I think it makes them feel macho but it's a huge turn off for me. It's happened a few times, and the last time I just turned around and took a car home."
"Expressing the need to be violent without any real cause or hint that they enjoy being violent. It just outright frightens me being anywhere need people that do that."
We Are Not Apes
" 'Alpha male' 🙄" -- justputonsomemusic
"An unstable, early iteration of male. Needs further development and testing before public release." -- DoomCircus
And other women lamented all the men that seem to think attraction is a zero-sum game. These guys apparently felt that the only way to look good is to push a possible "threat" away.
Just Be Nice
"Putting other people down, to make themselves look better."
"No, you are not making yourself look better. You're being a di**."
Again, Nobody Cares.
"The one up man. Almost always dominates the conversation and one ups everyone else's experiences and replies. Shows me you're immature and can't hold a conversation without the focus being on you."
"Guys and/or girls who pride themselves on being able to out drink or outsmoke everyone until they're a blubbering mess. Or doing a bunch of drugs."
"They think they're so epic but it's honestly embarrassing when it's a constant and people have to babysit you during a get together."
Hopefully, at least a few men will come across this list and check themselves the next time they feel a fight or a boast welling up.
Despite the toxic stereotype of an unfeeling, “tough guy" persona, men face feelings of loneliness, depression, and other serious issues as well. Unfortunately, not enough people are willing to discuss these sensitive topics as society has put so much pressure on men to hold these things in.
Sadly, although men often experience more life-threatening depression than women they often untreated or hold it in due to stigma. Something we should all be working to break down.
One Redditor wanted to bring to light some of the issues men are facing today that often go unnoticed.
“What are some men's issues that are overlooked?"
Something that everyone can benefit from sometimes...
“It took until I was 33, married and a new dad to see a counselor. If you're still on your parents health insurance it may be covered in some form. I could never talk to my parents. Some people just don't know how to listen. But getting perspective from someone who can and is trained to listen is INVALUABLE. HMU if you ever want to chat about sh*t.” Katarzzle
ED can take a big toll...
“Erectile dysfunction. It seems like a joke, but guys literally kill them selves because of it. It's like losing the ability to love, losing your manhood, losing your ability to feel intimate with someone.” Snowfreak2507
“That sh*t just isn't sustainable for some people."Tired King Of Queens GIF by TV LandGiphy
“I'm late to the party so this will get lost, but in my experience it feels like dudes are expected to work 70+ hour weeks and be proud of it, or else they're lazy. Like, nah. I'm going to be working at least 65 hours next week between two jobs (which is plenty) and that includes both daytime and overnight shifts."
“If I complain for even a sentence though, I'm going to be sh*t talked by the crew when they think I can't hear them. I'm tired. I like doing things that aren't work. That sh*t just isn't sustainable for some people." SkipperDaglessMD
Good intentions take too far...
“So I'm at the park playing tag with these kids I'm babysitting and out of nowhere this old lady comes up to me and starts asking all sorts of questions. Do you know these kids? What are there names? Can you call their parents for me? Even asking the kids if they knew me and when they answered yes, she responded with ‘you don't have to lie, if you don't know this man, you can tell me and I can help you.’” WalkingOnCoffee
“The worst part is nobody really talks about it...”
“Male pattern baldness and the impact it can have on mental health and body image. Imagine being in college surrounded by guys with perfect NW1 hairlines with all these cool fades and modern trendy hairstyles while you're stuck looking like Moby or Varys from GOT. Brutal. The worst part is nobody really talks about it, it's a very hidden and taboo issue that many men go though but society refuses to truly address, so they are forced to suffer in silence.” ImpSong
“Insecurity in general. You're not supposed to show that you have doubts or worries about your abilities or self-image. A man is supposed to be confident, able, and self-assured. It's not okay for men to admit that they lack self-esteem, or that they have genuine problems with their self-image, as they are seen as weaknesses in and of themselves."
“Other men or women aren't going to 'bring you up'. They won't provide emotional support and tell you it's okay to be unconfident or to feel shame about who you are - they will simply expect that you should take it on the chin. Not everyone can be 'that' guy. But, for a man, what actually makes you feel like a man is being that guy."
“So you kind of walk around pretending that you're happy, despite the fact that you're not seen as valuable or as desirable as other men - because in doing so, you would be seen as even less valuable or desirable. F**k. I've never really been able to put that feeling into words before, but that felt insanely good to get off my chest." OnePrettyFlyWhiteGuy
“Isolation. Many men have no friends. More so, they don't know how to find meaningful friendships, it's incredibly difficult to know where to even begin, moreso if you're not in college or school.”
“I'm 24, almost 25 and never had an emotional outlet. I don't even know what that looks like in a healthy sense. The first relationship I had, I believe I ruined because I put too much of what I had been carrying for so long on that person, as patient and as caring as they were.” NLY96
Loneliness wasn't helped with the pandemic...
“Crushing, black, empty, cold, never-ending, screaming-into-the-void loneliness and everyone's casual shrug when I even hint about it. Just work, pay taxes, walk the dog, keep your mouth shut, don't have feelings, don't be short, try to keep up appearances of virility, and never, ever, whatever you do, don't let anyone know how lonely you are because they'll just sort of awkwardly giggle and change the subject.” Doomstaar
“men are defined by what they do and not by who they are...”
“In western culture, men are defined by what they do and not by who they are (being). So, when they retire they often develop mental illness because they are no longer ‘doing’. this often leads to suicide. Then there's the whole nonsense of the stoic emotionless man getting on with the work.” tanktametet-pwemskan
“The fact that people ridicule and laugh at you for having depression is something we ALL need to talk about. It isn't funny. Depression is real and the fact that so many are choosing to keep it within is simply disturbing.” sroth3839
People Share The Dumbest Purchases They Have Ever Made | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
It effects many men too...
“Eating disorders. I'm a female sports coach who researched this topic as part of a sports medicine class. The stereotype is that eating disorders involve girls and that's where most of the research goes."
“Men suffer rapidly increasing rates of eating disorders, especially bulimia. It's becoming horribly common among athletes in particular, and has gotten worse with the advent of skinny male models." Disastrous-Shallot26
“Often times ‘bodyshaming’ is quite the issue. Not being well worked out or physically strong is often seen as a sign of weakness and no self-control.” doriiian
“Parental Duty / Just a babysitter. As a father of 3, I take a very active part in my kids life - I'm now separated and divorcing from my Ex, and am the primary parent (they live with me 95% of the time)."
“The reaction that this gets is one of amazement or incredulity that as a man, I'm unable to be a sole single parent. I get that it's not the standard, but it's not exactly rare nowadays, but the responses I get are ones of pity for my kids that 'they only have a dad'."
“I'm not knocking single mums in this by the way, I KNOW how hard it, but society accept single mums as a perfectly valid family choice, single dads are seen as bumbling and incapable of looking after their own kids - this goes into normal family life as well, where dads are seen the same - incapable of caring for a child, and just there as a baby sitter."
“Even during a normal relationship, I was constantly jokingly referred to as the Baby Sitter, and not seen on an equal footing to their Mother. This kind of adds to the Mental Health issue, and the other issues around not talking about real problems to other men." No_Film_2086
Sometimes people really are just having a conversation...
“Can't talk to a female without being suspected of trying to somehow get with them. Being fully serious here, as I've held conversations with women before and then had someone smirking at me and being like, ‘Yo dawg, you trying to hit that...’ and when I say no, they refuse to believe me.”
“Um, just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I'm trying to screw every living female... at least not anymore. A few years ago perhaps, but if a guy says he's not trying to ‘tap that,’ then he might be telling you the truth, so accept it.” Fangs_McWolf
“For me, it's the social dilemma of men having to be manly and not show any feelings. It kinda sucks when you can't do things you wanna do because people expect you to be some kind of macho man ladies boy, when they expect you to do sports, to do manly sh*t like going to the army and all you really wanna do is buckle down, read some books and listen to lofi music, it sucks."
“Another thing is the fact that crying i seen as not manly and you can't be vulnerable. I want to cry when my favorite anime character dies, I want to cry when something bad happens, I hate having to hold back my feelings in fear of judgments." aaerty
“I have seen many men self sabotage...”
“Honestly the biggest issue with men in general is self sabotage. Sometimes when you have issues you want to walk the line. Sometimes you want to cross it even if you know it comes with the consequences that you don't like going through but in the moment for a second the imagination can take you elsewhere.”
“This is where self dominion comes in handy and I bet a lot of older men will not feel the same self sabotage as I do. I have learned through out the years that if you have the little things in check then you can focus your energy on your priorities.”
“When you realize that something's can be measured by percentages and you realize the difference between taking a chance and self sabotaging yourself, then you can make investments or give or take opportunities. However I have seen many men self sabotage their relationships on purpose.“ CheezeGweeze
Body count shouldn't matter...
“This is an interesting one I've noticed: getting harassed for not being with a lot of women. A lot of girls talk about how it's toxic masculinity that guys are just constantly trying to have sex and ‘showing off’ their numbers. However, it's those same girls who will make jokes like ‘he's probably still a virgin’, ‘look at that guy, he prolly never gets any’, ‘no wonder he never gets laid’. Etc etc”
“I can't tell you how many of my guy friends have broken down because of how much they get harassed for being a virgin, or only having been with a couple people, and more. It's an interesting thing I've noticed that as a society, one way we make fun of men is by saying they're not able to attract women.” fm2816
It is gross and not remotely ok...
“I know I'm way late for this but Grooming. Young boys and men being groomed by older women and then taken advantage of and thinking it's fine because so many other men are like 'he probably enjoyed it!', 'Who wouldn't hook up with their teacher they had the hots for?!'"
“Like no. I don't care if the young boy 'flirted' with an older woman and 'started it' nope. Women who do this are Predators and get glossed over so so often and its gross." ErinnShannon
No one should have to feel like they must suffer by themselves. If you need to talk to someone or reach out call the 24hr hotline for mental health and substance use at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).