We could seriously title this article: "PEE AFTER SEX... and other things you need to know."
Reddit user Gianluca7papa asked:
Whenever this question comes up on Reddit (or anywhere really) the top responses are pretty much all "pee after sex." It's that important, fam.
That doesn't mean it's the only bit of important info that sex ed classes are leaving out. Believe it or not, sex ed classes aren't legally required to even be medically accurate in most states.
Yeah... the state's education system is totally allowed - and actively encouraged - to lie to students. Is it any wonder so many people hop into bed for the first time and have absolutely no idea what they're doing?
Pee!
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They never taught us to pee after sex. Although, I always heard and read that you should but for some reason.
Well, I've sure learnt my lesson.
I ended up getting a UTI for the first time but I didn't even know because it was asymptomatic. No pain, just thought I was dehydrated because I wasn't passing much. Halfway through my night shift at work one night I went to the bathroom and immediately recognized something was wrong and I started getting pain on my right side. Ended up leaving work and drove myself to hospital at around 10pm. Admitted myself, got tested and and yep, I had a kidney infection. They pumped me full of hardcore antibiotics and hooked me up to fluids. Stayed there for a good few hours, went home and the next day started an antibiotic course for about 2 weeks.
Was definitely a little scared.
Why Pick The Lock?
Foreplay makes alllllll the difference.
And don't let porn vids be your guide. Ask your partner what they like and do that thing. Tell your partner what you like. Communication is key for good sex. Why make me pick the lock when I can just ask for the combination?
Awesome...I get to tell this story again...
In high school, a group of us guys thought we all had about the same understanding of the mechanics of sex. I'm certain we'd all watched porn at some point, etc., and were all in the same health class.
Too Uncomfortable
If you're too uncomfortable to ask him to wear a condom or have a conversation about birth control, then you're not ready to have sex with this person
I knew some girls in high school who got pregnant because they didn't want to seem uncool to talk about it or they were too shy to speak up before having sex
For The Guys New To The Game
Beyond the stuff listed here, the UTIs/STDs/foreplay, how bout some things for the guys new to the game about to dive in to the fun:
- Nobody will ever make fun of you, or think anything but "good for them!" when you buy condoms. CONDOMS ARE CHEAPER THAN DIAPERS. STEAK DINNERS ARE CHEAPER THAN KIDS. Experiment by yourself with the types. Some types get warm on you, some pull so tight they kill my boner, or cut off circulation. I have my personal favorite I know to get, because they work perfectly for me, give me great sensation through the condom, and don't act like a rubber band that you used to get bored and wrap around your finger 20 times in class.
- While you're experimenting at home seeing which condom feels best for you, learn how to put one on easily. You weren't born knowing how to throw a football or dribble a basketball; that took an afternoon to learn. Same thing with ripping open a condom wrapper in the moment, and sliding it on while you're still lip-locked with the girl. Pinch the tip, roll it down.
- Pay attention. Seriously, this will get you everywhere, over and over. Pay attention to how she reacts when you do grab, squeeze, stroke, pull, whatever. You will run into the entire spectrum, from girls who don't get any real arousal going from someone playing with their tits, all the way to girls who can literally orgasm from someone working with their nipples. But you'll never know if you don't pay attention.
- [Edited to add in the most important one] DON'T TRY TO SCREW LIKE A PORNO. I once heard Ron Jeremy long ago say in an interview, "If it looks good, it feels like sh!t to us doing it. When it feels good, it looks like sh!t on a camera." I then stopped trying to get the camera-angle-doggy bullshit, and go with whatever got us both going, and ya, you're never going to film sex that feels good.
Incompatible
Discussing what you enjoy and what you don't with your partner isn't awkward or weird. Also, you may not be compatible sexually with everyone and that's ok.
Call An Ambulance
Went to a Catholic school and we never got any sex education.
I never knew about female orgasm with my first boyfriend (together for more than a year). When I had my very first one with my next boyfriend, I thought I had a heart attack that I actually wanted him to call an ambulance.
20 In 20
That the way people have sex in porn is usually not normal, not enjoyable and not going to get any woman to orgasm. Too many men out there think doing 20 positions for 20 seconds each is great sex.
The Hymen Lie
Your hymen doesn't break, it just stretches out, but even if you are relaxed, and use enough lube, not only the first time, but the first couple of times can be painful
An Involuntary Response
That arousal is a parasympathic nervous system response. You have no control over it and it does not mean you like or are attracted to somebody. It's an automated system to protect mucus membranes from damage. And most of all;
If you ever felt to blame for something that happened to you because your body responded with arousal, I am hear to tell you that you had no control over that at all.
Everyone should know this. EVERYONE!
Literally Everything
Literally everything, I went to a Catholic school and the first time I had sex I didn't even really know there was supposed to be thrusting. I actually envisioned sex just as a guy lying on top of a girl with his penis in her. A lot of pop culture references to sex made soooo much more sense to me after I lost my virginity. Specifically I remember this one scene in The Frighteners where this ghosts gets in a woman's coffin and starts vigorously humping, it was supposed to be comedic but I was always just like 'Why the f is he doing that?'
NOW I KNOW.
Matters of Moisture
Lube is a product for a reason, substitutes rarely work as well as the real deal, and there's no shame in using it for P in V intercourse, it wasn't developed solely for anal.
Also, for those with the opposite issue, keep some sort of wipe handy. Getting too wet in the middle of sex can decrease sensation, increase the odds of the penis popping out unexpectedly, and therefore increases the chance that you will BREAK THE PENIS. DON'T BREAK THE PENIS. It takes forever to heal, and all those random erections and half chubs you get that you hardly notice? They. Will. HURT.
Female Bodies
More about the female body. I only learned the basics in high school such as where the penis is supposed to go and about menstruation etc. while the male body was extensively discussed. The result is that I know more of a penis I don't have than of my own body.
Actually, I discussed my findings with friends and my mother (my mother and I are very comfortable talking about these things) and they were all surprised about what I discovered. Even my mother, who has been sexually active for like more than 40 years or so, didn't know how her own body worked precisely because these things aren't being taught and discussed. It's ridiculous.
As Seen On TV
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It's way messier than portrayed on TV.
But messy DOES NOT equal bad. Some of the most memorable nights of my life ended with the words "Well... We BOTH need a shower."
Also way less graceful, seriously nobody is that good at taking off clothes in the moment.
Not Representative
That genitalia you see in videos and print are not necessarily representative of genitalia in the general population.
Cervical Slam
Once had a student in my health class back in grade 9 ask my teacher "what if I hit the cervix of a girl with my penis while I'm having intercourse?? Could it cause issue?" And my health teacher responded "You wont ever hit a girls cervix so don't worry about it. You would have to have a 10 inch member to have to worry about that happening."
Fast forward 2 years, and I found out that was bullshit pretty fast. I have had consistent issues with multiple girls with accidentally hitting her cervix during sex, most of them actually find it very painful and causes us to just straight up not be able to do some positions... And I can assure you I do not possess a 10 inch peen. He was full of sh!t. Wish I was told beforehand that it can be such a big problem.
Trust
So I have not had sex yet (I'm 23) but something that I wished they talked about was that not everyone has sex during high school. Also, that having trust is the most important thing in any relationship. There's no point in having sex or a relationship if there's not any trust. This is why I never had sex cause I never trusted anyone enough back in high school. Only recently did I find someone who I trusted and we are currently planning to have sex. If you aren't ready, don't have sex until you are.
- mammaube
Girls Too
That girls cum too.
No one ever mentioned female orgasm. So when I was younger the goal was "make this dude cum and you won the sex."
I never even had an orgasm til I was pregnant. In my sleep. I had these wet dreams on the reg while I was pregnant-
ANYWAY when I was younger I'd feel the orgasm coming on, but it felt so intense that I'd always stop myself before it happened. Until one night I woke up throbbing and was like "awww sht that's what we're lookin for."
Mindset Matters
How important your mindset is going into it. Its easy to become numb with all the access to porn, and this cultural idea that sex is borderline meaningless. Its become normal to want to just hook up with people and not have any strings attached. There are negative affects with this mindset that usually come in the form of being emotionally unavailable, or overly attached. I myself have been on both sides of that coin, and let me tell you I felt like the biggest bag of sh!t.
It really messed with me emotionally either because I gave feelings to someone that didn't care, or I was with someone that would have made me happy, but didn't bother to pursue a relationship afterwards. It would've helped a lot if I was thought the mental/emotional aspect of being intimate with someone although I cant fully blame my mistakes on not knowing better. I'm only 21, and I'm glad I've learned this lesson early. Take my advice: stop watching porn, or at least cut down on it. Get off tinder, and get more active. Overall just get your life together, and you will attract someone.
- dissident_hellion
Uncircumcised
An uncircumcised and circumcised dick look the same when erect. I used to be so self conscious about not being circumcised because it isn't as common anymore in the US, and movies and tv shows always made it seem like girls would think it was gross. But honestly, I never had a single issue with girls because of it. I remember telling a girlfriend I wasn't, and she just said "Okay" and that was that. Besides, you can actually feel more sensation when you aren't circumcised. Extra nerve endings from the foreskin.
Like Eating
Sex is not as big a deal as people make it out to be, its not an exclusive club or a forbidden fruit. Stop putting it on a pedestal and talk about it.
Don't get me wrong, sex can make you feel amazing and release pleasures unknown. But it's also just a mechanical process, like eating, or exercising. It shouldn't loom over your very existence or contribute anything to who you are as a person when it comes to communicating about sex and how you like it.
Using the eating example, it's easy to tell people when you have stuff you don't eat or what you prefer without pressure of anyone kicking up a big fuss.
You should think as sex the same way, you're telling them what you like, telling them how you want it, and not feeling guilty if they complain. If you told them you don't like broccoli and they serve it to you anyway, it's their fault for ignoring you and there is no pressure for you to eat it. No matter if you're having a junk food quickie, or a long, sensual romantic meal, you eat to enjoy it.
With this in mind, also allow yourself to be a little selfish during sex. It's about having a good time for BOTH of you.
- SgtWings
The Smell
The smell.
Seriously. My parents had to know what me and my girlfriend were doing just based on that alone. Along the same lines, the importance of cleaning up thoroughly afterwards...
- [Reddit]
Asexuality
That ASEXUALITY IS A THING. Not everyone will feel sexual attraction or a desire to participate in sexual activity.
This doesn't mean they can't love someone, or that their love is fake if they don't want to have sex. This doesn't mean they're impotent, or have weak hormones. This isn't them making an excuse for being a virgin.
And it is NOT a mental illness.
Sex isn't required to be happy. Sex isn't what life has to be about.
And asexual people are just as much people as everyone else, and perfectly valid.
Gay Pregnancy
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Where I went it was only Heterosexual sex taught. Doesn't really help when you're gay. The was a small period where (as a guy) I thought having sex with a guy would get me pregnant.