Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me and... everybody you can possibly think of. Why are we so timid do discuss this issue? It's really an American issue. The Europeans seem fine to openly share naughty details and run around naked in front of one another. But in America the topic is still taboo. That's why so many artists push so many boundaries with the topic, to spark discussion. And it's imperative that the discussion be fact-based. Too many schools are handing out information to students that will only cause more problems later. Abstinence is not the only answer and quite frankly, is unlikely. Time to spill facts.
Redditor u/bongzmcdongz was hoping we could all rationally discuss the actualities of the birds and bees by asking... People who had "Abstinence Only" sex education, what was the most outrageous or untrue thing you were told?
***The following material is sensitive but imperative. Those under 17 should have a parental chat!***
I myself attended Catholic school, and we never once discussed the carnal. In fact, when we inquired about Mary and her "Virgin" birth, we were immediately shut down with... because it's in the Bible. What else does one expect nuns to say? Now I did leave Catholic school after eighth grade, so I have no idea what they taught in high school, but it's probably safe to assume they mostly skim the actual facts. Maybe I'm wrong... let's see.
Something is Missingx factor what GIF Giphy
I was given a diagram of the female anatomy in which the clitoris had been erased-- as in someone went into MS paint and whited it out on a line drawing of the exterior of the vulva. The urethra, vagina, labia, anus were labelled, and then at the top of the labia, it was whited out.
the what is a WHAT?!
That the actual vagina opening is as small as the tip of a pencil. I also never knew women didn't pee from their vaginas until I was 16. I'm 19 now and learned more from crap-posts on the internet than I ever had in school.
"I also never knew women didn't pee from their vaginas until I was 16."
Actual quote from my 9th grade health class:
"If you have sex, chances are you won't get HIV. But, chances are you will."
Kissing is Grosscreep no GIF by Manny404 Giphy
Kissing gets you pregnant.
Same except the nuns told us that French kissing in a bathing suit would get you pregnant. Also, they said you shouldn't go on a date to a restaurant that uses white tablecloths because that looks like sheets which would make your date think of bed and you'd end up having sex.
Girls and boys had to go to different rooms during sex-Ed. The girls were told that "abstinence is the best option because sex is painful." The boys weren't told that.
I understand that sex can be painful for some people, but pretending sex isn't a source of pleasure at all for women is flat out wrong and depressing.
See, now how in the world is any of that considered education? Would you teach addition without using numbers? It's sex people. It's a part of the everyday cycle of life. Some of those responses are truly shocking. I would have laughed out loud even at a young age. It all sounds made up. Oh wait most of that was. Shall we continue?
"Dress" for the occasion...
My girlfriend's sex Ed program in middle school included a wedding dress that they splattered with red paint.
I'm assuming it symbolizes the blood of first sex, which, if is before marriage, taints the pureness of the ritual and thus ruins everything. TLDR sex bad don't screw before ring. Idiots.
For the Girls
We were shown a video where a lady said she could tell if a girl was a virgin just by looking into her eyes. The implication was that premarital sex causes your spirit to die so that you become just a shell with nothing to offer.
Edit to add: I'm sure you can guess that she didn't say the same applied for the boys, as if teenage girls are the only ones to blame for anyone having premarital sex.
At Once?Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers Giphy
Having sex with 1 person is like having sex with 100 people.
The instructor gave all the boys in the class chewing gum and let them chew on it for a few minutes. Then she asked them if any of them wanted to share. Of course none did. Then she asked if they didn't want to share gum, why would they want to share sex partners?
This was in a co-ed class so all the girls in the class got to see too.
We Pray ALOT!!golden girls blanche GIF by HULU Giphy
I was taught in school that self pleasure was also a sin. So as a young girl discovering her body, every time I masturbated, I'd cry because I thought I was going to hell.
I don't know how many times I prayed to God asking for forgiveness.
My dad pointed to a teenage couple hugging when i was a kid and told me thats how you get pregnant.
Months later at the fair my aunt put my 5 yr old cousin on the back of my horse and told him to wrap his arms around my waist to hold on. My heart sank. Later that day I shamefully told my dad that my 5 yr old cousin got me pregnant.
So I'm Irish and Catholic.
Growing up in Dublin we had church sanctioned sex education, some of the highlights:
-All penises are the same size when erect (we were 14 and this was hilarious to us)
-Being gay is just a phase
-No method of birth control is reliable (including oral sex and body rubbing).
Opposite story: I went to a Catholic high school. My Health teacher was a progressive. So she closed the door and said "Listen, ok, sure, masturbation is a sin or whatever, but it's actually fine. You gotta, you know, clean out the pipes once in a while. Now if your friends ask you to go to the movies and your answer is 'Sorry, gotta stay home and masturbate' probably step it back a bit."
Used UpBubble Gum GIF by Quavo Giphy
This woman once compared a teenage girl who's had premarital sex as chewed up bubble gum. She then switched the comparison to a pair of worn out shoes. Crap you not.
I was convinced that saliva was involved in the baby-making process. Not that you'd kiss someone and then boom pregnant, but that someone's saliva over time would make their baby look like you. The more saliva, the stronger the resemblance.
Long story short I spit in my cousin's drinks for a solid 2 months because I wanted her baby (she was pregnant at the time) to look like me (who was 8)
ETA: this was about 25 years ago, and also I'm a woman! That's how absolutely terrible my sex education was.
Um... Next Question
The teacher said that you can only really love one sexual partner and that's why it's so important that your spouse be your first and only partner. One of my classmates raised her hand and said, "My mom died when I was a baby and my dad's been married to my stepmom for ten years. Does that mean he only loves one of them?"
The teacher just looked uncomfortable and moved on to how premarital sex causes depression.
This is probably pretty tame, but Sophomore year our teacher told us using multiple condoms at a time increases its effectiveness.
I then asked my mom the same thing, and her whole job is to teach safe sex to youth.
Spoiler alert: do not layer condoms. It sounds good in practice, but you're actually weakening the condoms and wasting them.
Utah's sex ed policy was/is crap.
Wonder why...lucy liu film GIF Giphy
Went to public school and had real sex ed but had a history teacher who told us that sex before marriage is a sin, because every time you have sex you get pregnant.
And if a kid is born outside of wedlock they are going to hell and we will also go to hell for damning the baby's soul before it's even born. She said condoms and any other birth control is an insult to God and a way for atheists to try and outsmart him. She didn't work there after that year. Wonder why...
Condoms don't always work so it's better to not use them.
If you ejaculate on a girl (yes, "on") she will get pregnant. Regardless of if you had sex or not.
Boys get so horny sometimes they can't control themselves. So girls, it's up to you to remove temptation for the boys.
Birth control pills disrupt a girl's hormones so badly she will become barren.
Pieces of Me
That every time I (a girl) had sex I was giving away a part of my soul. So each sex partner whittled away bits of my soul. If I had sex before marriage my God-given husband would only get a tiny scrap instead of a full half and thus wouldn't be able to love me as much as he would if I'd waited? Honestly it's pretty confusing. This was taught in my Christian private school.
I can't with any of that. It's really shameful. We can't send kids out into the world misinformed. It will only lead to people learning in ways that are even more worrisome. And most parents don't seem comfortable enough to chat about it. Loosen up people. The future of generations is at stake. I'm not saying don't practice abstinence but let's explore all of the options as well. Sex. Say it. Do it. Safely.
Sex is never an easy topic to broach. Even when you're in a relationship. So one can only imagine what it's like to discuss the birds and the bees with teenagers or youth in general. That discussion can be just as excruciating as chatting about it with granny. But kids have to be educated and boy do they have thoughts on the matter. Better to learn through class than online though.
Redditor u/ShadowAssassinVI wanted to hear from fornication educators out there, they were curious about...
Sex-Ed teachers of Reddit, what was the one most disturbing question or class you've ever taught?
All at Once...Confused Lauren Conrad GIF by The HillsGiphy
One of the jocks wanted to know if you were supposed to put your testicles inside a woman's vagina during intercourse.
Less disturbing and more naive: an eighth grader stayed after her health class to talk to the teacher as I was coming into the room to teach my next section. I overheard her explain that the teacher had said if a girl's period is late, she should take a pregnancy test... But did she need to do that if she'd never had sex?
The teacher, thinking perhaps there'd been some contact other than intercourse that had the girl worried, asked how long it had been since her last period... to which she said she hadn't had her first one, yet. So, a virgin who hasn't started menstruating thought she could be pregnant, because her first period hadn't arrived by age 13.
Seriously?new girl facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy
'If you masturbate yourself, doesn't that mean you're gay?
It was something to think about.
Not a teacher but some kid in my health class asked very nervously if men had eggs. When my teacher said no and explained it he legit looked so relieved. I'm not sure what he was scared of but at least he got corrected before it became an issue lmao.
Not a teacher. I was in college intro to psych and one of my classmates asked our GTA why humans couldn't have sex with animals - in front of all of us. The GTA turned red and said it was for several reasons and she'd speak with her after class. The student kept prodding and asking the same thing different ways. The GTA finally dismissed class. That girl never came back to class - and she wasn't joking around. She seriously didn't understand it.
T. M. I.
My husband was the teacher. He was new, fresh out of college, teaching in an all-boys, $20,000 a year school. It was the "ask anything, no judgement" part of the lesson and an boy asked him: "does vagina from different girls taste different?"
...and my then-24 year old husband said "yeah, for sure, like if she smokes or something, you can taste it. Vegetarian girls taste the best."
He does not work there any more. Obviously.
Thankfully in the last 20 years, he's become an awesome educator... he's a little less green now and would totally halt that train of conversation now.
Silly BoyThat Is Adorable Judy Greer GIF by Team CocoGiphy
Not disturbing, just innocent. An 11th grade boy asked me if it was possible to permanently run out of semen by masturbating too much.
Not a teacher (sorry). But having just read a completely screwed-up Dean Koontz book at the age of 9, I asked my sex ed teacher if, as I had read, a person born with both sex organs could impregnate themselves.
He answered the question accurately, age appropriately and with a completely straight face.
No SubstitutionsSchitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBCGiphy
Not a sex-ed teacher, but a girl in my class asked our biology teacher whether semen could be used as a replacement for breastmilk.
A recent Reddit thread will leave you counting your blessings that sex doesn't actually go down like a bunch of misinformed, puberty-stricken kids think.
Good God that would be horrifying.
Let's face it. Many of us did not sit down for a long conversation about sex with our parents or our teachers. So, being kids, we used rumor and imagination to fill in the gaps.
Sex education often looked a little like the following:
First, someone's older sibling lied and said something crazy about how sex works. That kid believed the comment as gospel, and went to school the next day.
A committee was then formed at a lunch table, where any finer details and plot-holes were worked out through sheer will and blind enthusiasm.
Then, through oral tradition, a new understanding of sex took the school by storm.
jjgp1112 asked, "What were weird myths you thought about sex as a kid?"
Sheathed Until Sunrise
"I had no clue what ejaculation was in 5th grade, so I though the thing went in and stayed there for like, the whole night. 7 hours or something, then the baby appeared" -- HaroldMcbob
"I used to think the same thing! I was always confused on how you would have sex while sleeping. I assumed you just had to get lucky and roll over top your partner in your sleep" -- SpongeV2
Years of Training
"I was not aware of the vagina having an access to an inside before I hit puberty, so I thought sex was, well, anal. And that birth was basically shi**ing a baby out."
"So anytime I was having a hard time with number 2 in the bathroom, I would try to motivate myself that I'm basically practicing the pain for child birth, and that it could be so much worse."
A Scary 3 Years
"In elementary a kid asked me if I knew what a condom was."
"I went ahead and described a nicotine patch." -- Pluckt007
"Kid asked me the same. 'No,' I said."
"'Well... It's when you cut the skin off your penis,' he said as we kids stared at a used condom in the bushes at our elementary school."
"I spent 3 years believing that I had seen discarded penis skin." -- Snatch_Liquor
Power in the Bedroom
"Whoever tried harder would determine the gender of the baby.." -- rosenes2
"Sheesh, then I certainly hope they were in agreement on who would "win" lol. I can't stop imagining a couple battle f***ing to the death." -- PumpkinPox
"Charles Darwin would be proud." -- Kennyboy_7
"My sister thinks sex is two people laying naked on top of each other and talking about marriage" -- satansgoldfish2222
"Depending on her age that's either really cute or really disturbing" -- zoe_2703
"the two sat there and layed naked on top of each other"
"Him: now that we are finally here on top of each other, what kind of house do you think would be nice? Her: oh I don't know, a townhouse seems nice" -- tastelessryan
"That you just put your di** inside a woman and then the sperm starts flowing continuously, like pee."
"Oh and that you actually have to push the sperm out yourself, like pee. You learn to do that when you get old enough."
"I thought you literally could not have sex before marriage. It couldn't happen. The vagina would reject the penis like water and oil." -- ImInJeopardy
"I din't think this but I thought you could only get a girl pregnant if you were married."
"Little did I know, I was born a good 8 months before my parents got married!" -- jjgp1112
"I thought sperm were the size of tadpoles."
"I thought they shot out and filled up the condom like a water balloon and you would be able to see and hear them slithering and wriggling around."
"Needless to say I was scared of sexual maturity for a while."
The Warmest Condom Ever
"I heard about sheepskin or lambskin condoms when I was a kid and for some reason imagined a guy wrapping one of my rabbit pelts around his member and trying to get that into a woman."
"Never occurred to me they'd just use the skin and not the whole hide."
A Major Miscalculation
"I always thought homosexual meant that you like to have sex at home. I was trying to sound cool at summer camp when I was around 12 so I told everyone I was homosexual."
"All of the girls started hanging out with me and I thought all the guys were avoiding me because they were jealous."
"Realized my mistake later in the summer and never went back to that camp or talked to anyone there again."
One of my best friends growing up was Mormon. Luckily she had enough sexual education to understand how babies were made. She did, however, tell me about a distant cousin of hers who was so sheltered that she had absolutely no concept that sex existed at all. She and her husband both had no idea how to make babies. They thought married couples just had to pray to God to get pregnant, and they had no idea they were supposed to physically do anything.
They never had sex. After a year of "trying" (the prayer thing) they asked their bishop for spiritual guidance and what they were doing wrong, why God would not bless them with a child... And the bishop then had a very awkward sex talk with these adult people. Imagine, after a year of marriage, finding out from your bishop that you were supposed to be putting your WHAT in her WHAT!?!
I thought eating a lot of food until you got fat got you pregnant, this was reinforced when people said they have a 'food baby'.
Thought that babies were made by the kiss at the wedding. As in, you may kiss the bride, boom, pregnant. Also thought that you weren't allowed to kiss until marriage and this was why.
My friend told me when we were 7 that having sex was touching buts with a girl. Accidentally touched buts with a girl in the pool later and thought I had had sex. Took me a few years to figure it out.
I saw the episode of Seinfeld where George wanted to have makeup sex. I thought they meant makeup as in the beauty products you put on your face. When he was struggling to open the condom, I thought it was the pack of foundation he couldn't open. So nine year old me thought that people smeared makeup all over each other during sex.
My parents had six kids, all of us almost exactly two years apart. The logical 10yo me deduced that my parents had sex once - on their wedding night - and then the babies just started coming every two years.
We could seriously title this article: "PEE AFTER SEX... and other things you need to know."
Reddit user Gianluca7papa asked:
Whenever this question comes up on Reddit (or anywhere really) the top responses are pretty much all "pee after sex." It's that important, fam.
That doesn't mean it's the only bit of important info that sex ed classes are leaving out. Believe it or not, sex ed classes aren't legally required to even be medically accurate in most states.
Yeah... the state's education system is totally allowed - and actively encouraged - to lie to students. Is it any wonder so many people hop into bed for the first time and have absolutely no idea what they're doing?
They never taught us to pee after sex. Although, I always heard and read that you should but for some reason.
Well, I've sure learnt my lesson.
I ended up getting a UTI for the first time but I didn't even know because it was asymptomatic. No pain, just thought I was dehydrated because I wasn't passing much. Halfway through my night shift at work one night I went to the bathroom and immediately recognized something was wrong and I started getting pain on my right side. Ended up leaving work and drove myself to hospital at around 10pm. Admitted myself, got tested and and yep, I had a kidney infection. They pumped me full of hardcore antibiotics and hooked me up to fluids. Stayed there for a good few hours, went home and the next day started an antibiotic course for about 2 weeks.
Was definitely a little scared.
Why Pick The Lock?
Foreplay makes alllllll the difference.
And don't let porn vids be your guide. Ask your partner what they like and do that thing. Tell your partner what you like. Communication is key for good sex. Why make me pick the lock when I can just ask for the combination?
Awesome...I get to tell this story again...
In high school, a group of us guys thought we all had about the same understanding of the mechanics of sex. I'm certain we'd all watched porn at some point, etc., and were all in the same health class.
If you're too uncomfortable to ask him to wear a condom or have a conversation about birth control, then you're not ready to have sex with this person
I knew some girls in high school who got pregnant because they didn't want to seem uncool to talk about it or they were too shy to speak up before having sex
For The Guys New To The Game
Beyond the stuff listed here, the UTIs/STDs/foreplay, how bout some things for the guys new to the game about to dive in to the fun:
- Nobody will ever make fun of you, or think anything but "good for them!" when you buy condoms. CONDOMS ARE CHEAPER THAN DIAPERS. STEAK DINNERS ARE CHEAPER THAN KIDS. Experiment by yourself with the types. Some types get warm on you, some pull so tight they kill my boner, or cut off circulation. I have my personal favorite I know to get, because they work perfectly for me, give me great sensation through the condom, and don't act like a rubber band that you used to get bored and wrap around your finger 20 times in class.
- While you're experimenting at home seeing which condom feels best for you, learn how to put one on easily. You weren't born knowing how to throw a football or dribble a basketball; that took an afternoon to learn. Same thing with ripping open a condom wrapper in the moment, and sliding it on while you're still lip-locked with the girl. Pinch the tip, roll it down.
- Pay attention. Seriously, this will get you everywhere, over and over. Pay attention to how she reacts when you do grab, squeeze, stroke, pull, whatever. You will run into the entire spectrum, from girls who don't get any real arousal going from someone playing with their tits, all the way to girls who can literally orgasm from someone working with their nipples. But you'll never know if you don't pay attention.
- [Edited to add in the most important one] DON'T TRY TO SCREW LIKE A PORNO. I once heard Ron Jeremy long ago say in an interview, "If it looks good, it feels like sh!t to us doing it. When it feels good, it looks like sh!t on a camera." I then stopped trying to get the camera-angle-doggy bullshit, and go with whatever got us both going, and ya, you're never going to film sex that feels good.
Discussing what you enjoy and what you don't with your partner isn't awkward or weird. Also, you may not be compatible sexually with everyone and that's ok.
Call An Ambulance
Went to a Catholic school and we never got any sex education.
I never knew about female orgasm with my first boyfriend (together for more than a year). When I had my very first one with my next boyfriend, I thought I had a heart attack that I actually wanted him to call an ambulance.
20 In 20
That the way people have sex in porn is usually not normal, not enjoyable and not going to get any woman to orgasm. Too many men out there think doing 20 positions for 20 seconds each is great sex.
The Hymen Lie
Your hymen doesn't break, it just stretches out, but even if you are relaxed, and use enough lube, not only the first time, but the first couple of times can be painful
An Involuntary Response
That arousal is a parasympathic nervous system response. You have no control over it and it does not mean you like or are attracted to somebody. It's an automated system to protect mucus membranes from damage. And most of all;
If you ever felt to blame for something that happened to you because your body responded with arousal, I am hear to tell you that you had no control over that at all.
Everyone should know this. EVERYONE!
Literally everything, I went to a Catholic school and the first time I had sex I didn't even really know there was supposed to be thrusting. I actually envisioned sex just as a guy lying on top of a girl with his penis in her. A lot of pop culture references to sex made soooo much more sense to me after I lost my virginity. Specifically I remember this one scene in The Frighteners where this ghosts gets in a woman's coffin and starts vigorously humping, it was supposed to be comedic but I was always just like 'Why the f is he doing that?'
NOW I KNOW.
Matters of Moisture
Lube is a product for a reason, substitutes rarely work as well as the real deal, and there's no shame in using it for P in V intercourse, it wasn't developed solely for anal.
Also, for those with the opposite issue, keep some sort of wipe handy. Getting too wet in the middle of sex can decrease sensation, increase the odds of the penis popping out unexpectedly, and therefore increases the chance that you will BREAK THE PENIS. DON'T BREAK THE PENIS. It takes forever to heal, and all those random erections and half chubs you get that you hardly notice? They. Will. HURT.
More about the female body. I only learned the basics in high school such as where the penis is supposed to go and about menstruation etc. while the male body was extensively discussed. The result is that I know more of a penis I don't have than of my own body.
Actually, I discussed my findings with friends and my mother (my mother and I are very comfortable talking about these things) and they were all surprised about what I discovered. Even my mother, who has been sexually active for like more than 40 years or so, didn't know how her own body worked precisely because these things aren't being taught and discussed. It's ridiculous.
As Seen On TVGiphy
It's way messier than portrayed on TV.
But messy DOES NOT equal bad. Some of the most memorable nights of my life ended with the words "Well... We BOTH need a shower."
Also way less graceful, seriously nobody is that good at taking off clothes in the moment.
That genitalia you see in videos and print are not necessarily representative of genitalia in the general population.
Once had a student in my health class back in grade 9 ask my teacher "what if I hit the cervix of a girl with my penis while I'm having intercourse?? Could it cause issue?" And my health teacher responded "You wont ever hit a girls cervix so don't worry about it. You would have to have a 10 inch member to have to worry about that happening."
Fast forward 2 years, and I found out that was bullshit pretty fast. I have had consistent issues with multiple girls with accidentally hitting her cervix during sex, most of them actually find it very painful and causes us to just straight up not be able to do some positions... And I can assure you I do not possess a 10 inch peen. He was full of sh!t. Wish I was told beforehand that it can be such a big problem.
So I have not had sex yet (I'm 23) but something that I wished they talked about was that not everyone has sex during high school. Also, that having trust is the most important thing in any relationship. There's no point in having sex or a relationship if there's not any trust. This is why I never had sex cause I never trusted anyone enough back in high school. Only recently did I find someone who I trusted and we are currently planning to have sex. If you aren't ready, don't have sex until you are.
That girls cum too.
No one ever mentioned female orgasm. So when I was younger the goal was "make this dude cum and you won the sex."
I never even had an orgasm til I was pregnant. In my sleep. I had these wet dreams on the reg while I was pregnant-
ANYWAY when I was younger I'd feel the orgasm coming on, but it felt so intense that I'd always stop myself before it happened. Until one night I woke up throbbing and was like "awww sht that's what we're lookin for."
How important your mindset is going into it. Its easy to become numb with all the access to porn, and this cultural idea that sex is borderline meaningless. Its become normal to want to just hook up with people and not have any strings attached. There are negative affects with this mindset that usually come in the form of being emotionally unavailable, or overly attached. I myself have been on both sides of that coin, and let me tell you I felt like the biggest bag of sh!t.
It really messed with me emotionally either because I gave feelings to someone that didn't care, or I was with someone that would have made me happy, but didn't bother to pursue a relationship afterwards. It would've helped a lot if I was thought the mental/emotional aspect of being intimate with someone although I cant fully blame my mistakes on not knowing better. I'm only 21, and I'm glad I've learned this lesson early. Take my advice: stop watching porn, or at least cut down on it. Get off tinder, and get more active. Overall just get your life together, and you will attract someone.
An uncircumcised and circumcised dick look the same when erect. I used to be so self conscious about not being circumcised because it isn't as common anymore in the US, and movies and tv shows always made it seem like girls would think it was gross. But honestly, I never had a single issue with girls because of it. I remember telling a girlfriend I wasn't, and she just said "Okay" and that was that. Besides, you can actually feel more sensation when you aren't circumcised. Extra nerve endings from the foreskin.
Sex is not as big a deal as people make it out to be, its not an exclusive club or a forbidden fruit. Stop putting it on a pedestal and talk about it.
Don't get me wrong, sex can make you feel amazing and release pleasures unknown. But it's also just a mechanical process, like eating, or exercising. It shouldn't loom over your very existence or contribute anything to who you are as a person when it comes to communicating about sex and how you like it.
Using the eating example, it's easy to tell people when you have stuff you don't eat or what you prefer without pressure of anyone kicking up a big fuss.
You should think as sex the same way, you're telling them what you like, telling them how you want it, and not feeling guilty if they complain. If you told them you don't like broccoli and they serve it to you anyway, it's their fault for ignoring you and there is no pressure for you to eat it. No matter if you're having a junk food quickie, or a long, sensual romantic meal, you eat to enjoy it.
With this in mind, also allow yourself to be a little selfish during sex. It's about having a good time for BOTH of you.
Seriously. My parents had to know what me and my girlfriend were doing just based on that alone. Along the same lines, the importance of cleaning up thoroughly afterwards...
That ASEXUALITY IS A THING. Not everyone will feel sexual attraction or a desire to participate in sexual activity.
This doesn't mean they can't love someone, or that their love is fake if they don't want to have sex. This doesn't mean they're impotent, or have weak hormones. This isn't them making an excuse for being a virgin.
And it is NOT a mental illness.
Sex isn't required to be happy. Sex isn't what life has to be about.
And asexual people are just as much people as everyone else, and perfectly valid.
Where I went it was only Heterosexual sex taught. Doesn't really help when you're gay. The was a small period where (as a guy) I thought having sex with a guy would get me pregnant.
Sexual education classes, particularly in conservative areas, are notoriously terrible. In fact, in some states in the US it's perfectly legal and accepted for the teachers and curriculum to outright lie to students.
Typically speaking, the grounds for the deception is that teaching fact-based sexual education would encourage students, typically teens, to engage in "immoral" acts of sexuality. The unfortunate outcome is swaths of people with far less sexual knowledge than they need to keep themselves and their partners safe, healthy and happy.
Reddit user Evee_19020 asked:
It turns out a whole lot of people were left tragically under-educated by their sex ed programs. No, it wasn't just you. Here are some of the most popular responses.
PEE AFTER SEX.
Why is this important?
Not doing it increases your risk of UTIs.
Think of a garden hose. And when it's sitting in the flower bed for a little while, and when you finally go to turn on the water, a little mud and dirty water comes out before the clean water starts flowing. Then it's great. That's why you pee after sex.
Like, for the good lord and savior above, it ain't too much to ask, but both guys and girls need to clean out the pipes after intercourse.
And yes, I know I sound like a worn out dishrag when I say it like that, but it is better than getting a UTI and having to find out it is because you don't know the body as good as you think.
Obviously, or, I should phrase that as a "I hope", women know that... Right? Because your parts are so much more compact than guys, there is a lot higher chance of a UTI than for guys, but it is still there...
What's It For?
What's pubic hair for? I remember in sex ed I did ask that question, the entire class laughed at me, teacher shrugged and gave me a "dunno," and 25 years after the fact I still don't have an answer.
Reduces chaffing in a naturally sweaty region. Also provided a little protection for your ancestors giblets when they were marching through briers and dense brush in the nude.
Clip your nails, clean them, make sure there are no rough edges.
Yeah, and file them down smooth afterwards too. Jagged edges aren't appreciated but well manicured fingers can end up almost anywhere.
The Steering WheelGiphy
In my sex ed class, there wasn't a single mention of the clitoris. Enough said.
That's like taking drivers ed and not mentioning the steering wheel.
Porn Isn't Real
What we see in porn isn't normal sex.
To add to this, people don't realize how much hygienic care goes on behind the camera. Like, of course you have a UTI Stacy, you just told me how you let a guy go back to front because you saw it in a video and thought it'd be hot. They do a LOT of cleaning between takes.
I explained to my kids that porn is like watching action movies. All fake and massively over the top to make it look interesting. Real sex is to porn like real fist fights are to action movies.
The Condom Conundrum
How to use a condom. I went to a super religious school, so we only got taught not to have sex, not how to have it safely.
My sex-ed teacher told us condoms don't work, because the latex has little holes, which are bigger than sperm.
I think it was probably supposed to scare us off from sex but instead I just thought to not use a condom when having sex then, if it's that useless.He even drew a diagram: a gigantic circle for the latex gaps and a tiny dot for the sperm going through it.
Thankfully my mom also educated me, imagine just going off of that class info!
It's Not Just Baby
After a woman gives birth she also has to push out the placenta. I thought the baby was just the only thing she pushed. (Also that the vagina can rip or be cut down to the anus.)
I had a friend who thought she was unknowingly having twins when she felt like pushing again after the baby was out. It was the placenta...
Moving On To Plan C
That a pharmacist may refuse to sell you Plan B unless you are female, or because of their political and/or religious beliefs. Both of which I've encountered as a male with a worried partner embarrassed to enter the store.
It didn't bother me so much, but it's worth noting to teens that this can be an obstacle (at least in America).
Also if you are over a certain weight one pill won't be enough.
That the morning after pill is not as effective if you are over 150 pounds. You technically run the risk of it failing because the dose isn't high enough for your weight.
Some STD Honesty
That oral herpes can be transmitted to a partner's genitals. Always thought that they were two completely different diseases that effect different parts of the body. Turns out I was wrong.
Also that HPV vaccines were available for boys, and that without being vaccinated there would be an almost 100% chance of contracting some form of HPV.
Basically, I was just taught in sex ed, "Don't have sex, you could get STDs!" Ok..get real here, the sex was always going to happen. STDs didn't have to.
Like A FlowerGiphy
In order for sex to be fun as a woman you have to be wet. "Your body will open like a flower" clearly didn't get the message across to me.
"Is Everything Okay?"
As a female, I never knew that women could also have orgasms. Was never mentioned in any class and my mom never had that talk with me. So imagine my surprise when at 17 I'm having sex and start having this crazy ass feeling down there! I hopped off and the guy is like "is everything okay?" And I'm like "yeaaah I think??" Lol. Still didn't figure that one out til months later.
That my labia are normal. It's different for every woman, but there is this rumor that if you had a big labia, you were a whore. It's definitely not true because I've had one since I was a teenager and didn't have sex until I was 26.
This always cracks me up because mine are noticeably asymmetrical. So, what, I'm a ho but only on one side?
always sleep on big decisions like surgery. but if you honest to god believe it will better your mental perception of your own body image, go for it.