I may sound a bit ghoulish and a little bitter and pessimistic, but I do love a good dramatic ending to a love story. If it has to end let it go out big.
Perhaps that is why some of my favorite shows are daytime dramas or primetime soap operas. Divorce runs rampant in those sources of entertainment and it's enthralling to watch.
Love can be eternal but it can also wither into a cesspool of seething hate and despair. And it's always fascinating to get to the root of how it all unravels.
The ones to discuss these aspects of love with are the ones with a front row seat to the finish.
Redditor u/KarysMR wanted the lawyers out there to tell us some tales about how low some couples can go when the love story is over, by asking:
Lawyers of Reddit, what is the pettiest reason you've ever seen for divorce?
Being a divorce lawyer has go to be an entertaining career. I hope they all keep a journal, because any and all details could make for fascinating television. You change the names to protect the innocent or guilty.
Crumbs...cookie monster eating GIF by University of CaliforniaGiphy
"My father-in-law and mother-in-law's breaking point was when he threw a breadcrumb at her from across the kitchen. The divorce took 4 years to settle."
"A client and his wife came in regarding a real estate transaction. At the end of the consultation, the client casually stated that he would like to divorce his wife. I was stunned, the wife started crying, the client started rubbing his wife's shoulder and told her that everything would be okay. That was an awkward few minutes."
A Bad Lift
"The weirdest I've ever seen is a coworker of mine. His wife saw a picture of him at a pool when he was in high school and really athletic. Toned, muscular, tan and so on. Over the 10 year after high school he stopped lifting and lost his muscle tone and just became skinny."
"She told him she wanted him to get back to working out because she really liked the way he once looked and he said it was something he missed doing and agreed to get a gym membership. He was going to the gym four days a week but was only really working out for two of them."
"On the days he didn't work out he would sit in the sauna to get sweaty, watch Netflix and then go home. When she asked about him going to the gym and accidentally let it slip that he was fudging workouts twice a week. She apparently found that to be a deal breaker and filed for divorce."
"I had a client who with his wife were into a computer game like the Sims only more x rated, I think it was called Second Life, where you have an avatar and can interact with other people's avatars. He suspected his wife of, through her avatar, hijinks and made his own avatar to stalk her in the game. Sure enough her avatar was doing the dirty with some dude's avatar. That was it for my client."
Oh Hell NoPop Tv No GIF by Schitt's CreekGiphy
"The husband kept putting wet/used towel on their bed."
See these stories keep me sane when I feel lonely. Who in the world needs this kind of madness? This is why I say love can never be fully trusted.
And wet towels on my bed? You're out!
Oh SachaSacha Baron Cohen Thumbs Up GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy
"Pam Anderson and Kid Rock simply put 'Borat' as the reason for their divorce. I'd say thats gotta be up there."
"Wife wanted divorce like 2 months into marriage because the husband would squeeze the toothpaste from the top and not bottom. She claims to have told him a million times over to stop. Would have been easier to get 2 tubes of toothpaste I thought."
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"My wife and I had been using the same toothpaste tube for I dunno 20 years or something. Recently, we had two tubes because I accidentally bought the wrong one. No big, I said she can use the good one and I'll use the crappy one. So after about a week of this, I notice my toothpaste was gross. The opening was half clogged and there was run off into the cap. I had to scrap the crust off just to get to the fresh toothpaste. Next week, same thing. Gross."
"Turns out my wife had been maintaining the toothpaste tube correctly for years! I had no idea that I dispensed paste in a sloppy stupid way. So I asked my wife how to use a freakin' toothpaste tube. Lol... I think I got it mostly right by the time my crappy toothpaste ran out and it was time to go back to shared paste. 😂"
"Nobody ever believes me about this one, but it's true. A man wanted a divorce from his wife because - and he gave this example as the "last straw" - his wife ate those nasty pumpkin Halloween candies, like candy corn but pumpkin shaped. He had been looking forward to them all day and when he got home, she had eaten them all. He snapped. Swear on my life this story is true."
"Definitely the fridge Story!! A woman filed for divorce because her husband would eat everything he can find in their fridge whenever the wife was out for work. So she came back to a basically empty fridge each night. He also cheated on her but she was less angry about that. The fridge was what pushed her to the point she wanted a divorce."
Plan for 5...real housewives of orange county divorce GIFGiphy
"I'm a lawyer but not that kind. However, my brother's 4th wife divorced him because she found out the ring he'd used was originally his 3rd wife's. They deserved each other."
Got to BK!
"Not a lawyer- but apparently my brother divorced his wife when McDonald's forgot to put bbq sauce in with her chicken nuggets at the drive through and she asked him to go back and get some. He didn't and then I guess she started smashing up food and throwing it at him/out the window... so yeah. McDonalds how could you ruin a marriage 😅..."
The Good China
"My Mom's coworker divorced over dishes in the dishwasher. The wife would get so frustrated over the husband (coworker) not rinsing dishes before he loads them in the dishwasher. To compromise, they bought a super nice, top of the line dishwasher. Solves the problem, right? She yelled about the dishes that night. He filed for divorce the next day."
Never Florida!Looney Tunes Florida GIFGiphy
"I once had clients who got a divorce because she wanted to buy a condo in Naples, Fl. The petty part of the story is that combined their lawyer fees would have bought a very nice condo on the water in Naples."
For the tots...
"My aunt used to work as a divorce lawyer. The worst one was a couple fighting over a hamster (of which took so long the thing died before they were settled). She said it was a bargaining chip to win favor from their children. At that rate just buy another hamster!"
"My ex was like this. Basically gave him everything just so I could leave him. He took most of the money and assets but I got away from him. Yay. Then he blew all his money and abandoned the kids. Seriously struggled to cope with 100% care and cost but wouldn't change it bc I have my kids and they have me. Still, was very hard to come to terms with the injustice. Sigh."
"A woman came in wanting to divorce her husband. He had just gotten a new job and a pretty big raise. It turned out that this new job of his also required that he work from home but he was working in an office before. She was having an affair with their next-door neighbor and him being home more meant that she couldn't cheat on her husband easily. That was definitely a twist. I was expecting something like him being the one having the affair but nope!"
Told you so...
"Not divorced, but annulled on their wedding day. I've told the story a few times on Reddit, so long-story-short-time: She told him several hundred times that if he smashed the cake in her face at the reception, it was over. He did it, she walked out and had it annulled the next day. This was over 30 years ago, btw."
"Someone's husband insisted on bringing their mother to their honey moon. That's when the wife realized his mother was still breastfeeding him. I don't think it was a petty divorce but I think the man is petty. He also made his mom go to court with him, my guess, he was thirsty."
in my face...snow wtf GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy
"Dandruff. Wife didn't like that the husbands dandruff would flow into her face when riding a motorbike."
"The husband could only eat hoagies if they were nailed to a table. So they mostly ate at home where it was ok for him to damage a table. But once time during a roadtrip stopped at a deli. He had the nailgun with him and nailed the hoagie to the table so he could eat. So she divorced him after the vacation."
Ah love, so splendid, so pure. So insane. I'll always hope for a happy ending, but will always stay vigilant and try to not freak about the small things. Maybe that's the key to a happy ending?
When we think about cheating in relationships, it often feels like an open and shut case: the cheater was heartless, selfish, and nothing but a villain.
And while we still may come to that conclusion in the end, it can be worth hearing the finer details of the situation.
Perhaps those dynamics can help us to understand the warning signs of wandering eyes and possible infidelity when our own situation becomes less than ideal.
It's never the right move, but there are multiple reasons why it happens. A recent Reddit thread explored those, for better or worse.
Redditor Romantic_Sandals asked:
"People who cheated on their SO, why did you do it?"
Many people confessed to have been cheaters for reasons that were entirely selfish. They used the thread as a space to express their guilt and their desire to change.
Young and Dumb
"In high school I did. At the time, I was 17 and I was just starting to have a lot of girls notice me so it went to my head, and I ended up getting a side chick. After three months of having the side chick and my girlfriend at the time, the guilt was too much and I ended up tell my girlfriend the truth and then left."
"The side chick became my next girlfriend, and we spent about another year together before I left her too for legitimate relationship reason. The fallout and heart ache from all those decisions from that ordeal has made me swear to myself and god that I'd never do that again."
"Because I was a narcissist insecure a**hole. I'm in treatment now. It's a bit late for me but better late than never. Almost 50."
"Cuz I was a fu**in idiot and I chose to listen to someone that I thought I could trust instead of asking my girl if she was cheating on me.😞"
"I was 18, undiagnosed bipolar, and hypomanic. I didn't take the relationship very seriously at all, and decided 'hey, if I break up with her right after I do it then I won't be such a bad person.' "
"Turns out I was still a shitty person. I never cheated again, never will. I'm madly in love with my partner and literally nothing could distract me from that."
A Smattering of Factors
"Drugs, miscommunication, lust, and then after, post nut clarity is a bi***. The guilt will eat you alive. You don't know why you do it really, other than animal instinct. But then you hate yourself after it"
Caught Up In It
"I was a serial cheater from my teens to my early 20s. To me it was all for the thrill and ego boost. It was fun and exciting doing something I knew I wasnt supposed to especially with a new sexual partner."
"It bloated my ego to astronomical proportions. I remember feeling like some type of rockstar because I had 'h*e's.' I even challenged myself to see how many girls I could sleep with in a single day. Thankfully I matured and realized what an a**hole I had been. It's been 8 years since I last cheated."
Others discussed the flaws of the relationship they turned their back on. There are often plenty of toxic elements that lead to one--or both--partners straying.
"We were drifting away from each other. We hadn't seen each other in a month. Just started college, meet the woman I would marry."
"We talked right after it happened, she said she had done the same thing a week prior, we were pretty much broken up at this point anyway. Mutual assured destruction I guess"
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Tip of the Iceberg
"I thought at the time the only thing wrong in the relationship was just that the sex was bad."
"Afterward I realized a lot of what made the sex bad was lack of attraction and poor communication. Broke up with her and never cheated again."
Know When to Fold Em
"She was very emotionally abusive and manipulative and I used attention from other women as an escape from that and to help my self esteem. I should have just gotten out of the relationship."
One Who Would Listen
"I was married to a self-centered man/child who saw me as his bang/maid. I put up with it for years and tried to improve the marriage with couples counseling, so many different therapies for couples counseling til I found one he was listening to. I tried and tried, and was the only one putting in any work."
"I had to go onto antidepressants. When this happens you need someone to 'spot' you as the doctors told me that antidepressants increase the chance of suicide. My husband couldn't even be bothered to do that. He couldn't check in on his wife, living in the same house, caring for his children in case she was suicidal."
"The only person willing to do that was a close friend of both of us who actually cared. He would regularly talk with me through my stuff with my family while we gamed. He was my sanity. He was the dear sweet man who I have lived with now for longer then the marriage relationship. He is a wonderful caring human who treats me as an equal."
A Key Element of Any Relationship
"He has no interest in sexual contact with me. I'd have to beg and chide for anything once a year. At a certain point, it just became too much work."
Hurt People Hurt People
"He was controlling, I needed therapy, I wanted to regain control of myself so I cheated. Multiple times. With multiple guys. He never found out but it eats away at me. I had been cheated on in the past so I never thought I'd do the same to someone else. But I did."
"I am in therapy now, and haven't been in a relationship for at least two years. I won't be until I feel I can choose a good partner and be a good partner."
Finding What They Needed
"Because it made me feel like someone actually wanted me and I could be myself without worrying about criticism."
"I still love my wife but she has control and anger issues that I didn't realize when we got married. Being one of those always right kind of people she can be hard to talk to and isn't receptive to the idea of counseling. That doesn't excuse my own actions but there it is."
"I tried breaking up with an abusive ex but he essentially said "no" but I was at college after this first attempt. Made out w a lot of people never full sent anything, even tho I considered myself single my ex was still trying to make something of it."
"He used to beat me and constantly mentally abuse me and gaslight me, so I honestly had no remorse for what I did. If he found out now even years and an apology for his past actions later, I'd still be afraid he'd come to hurt me."
A Messy Process
"I don't need to go into the whole story because I'm lazy, so TL;DR my girlfriend cheated on me because she was a dumb 19 year old, so I went and drove 2 hours to sleep with an ex that my girlfriend specifically hated for some reason out of spite, because I was an even stupider 19 year old."
"We worked through our issues and are going on 9 years of marriage this year with our 2nd kid on the way."
"Thought I was gay. Had to be sure before I broke things off with my wife. Turns out I wasn't."
"Never told her, never will. I regret nothing."
Let's be clear: none of this condones cheating. Rather, we hope an understanding of these warning signs leads to far less of it.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Why even bother being in a relationship? Seriously, if you're cheating something is wrong. So why not confront it and fix it or move on? Why do people choose to be cruel? And if cheating just "happens," then why not own up to it? If you run astray of your relationship, you're obviously not happy. Why be a sociopath by continuing to harm the people you profess to love? This isn't bitterness asking just curiosity.
Redditor u/santino_musi1 wanted to hear some confessions about straying by asking... People who cheated on their bf/gf/partner, what was going through your mind while doing it?
I've seen so many relationships go up in flames because of philandering. And the saddest part is, it all could've been avoided. Everyone else can see when it's not working, why are we so blind when we're the willing participants? I will admit, I have cheated more than once and I finally had to realize that I was never being fulfilled personally. And that was on me to fix. Some of the people on this chain feel that pain.
immediate regret. Issues with commitment, self esteem issues, etc. (They're probably cheating too, what if we break up and never find anyone, what if this persons actually "the one")
Obviously, load of horsecrap looking back at it, and I hurt a few people. Terrible terrible decision.
I get so Emotional...
I'd say I emotionally cheated on my ex. Mostly what was going through my mind was "Crap, I think I'm falling in love with someone else. Crap. What do I do? Crap."
You're not required to stay in love, just to treat your partner with respect while you're in a relationship (and, ideally, after as well).
The problem is when you're in love with one person, and infatuated with another. That is rough, because obviously you still love the first person... But infatuation is the new-car-smell part of a relationship, and even when you know it's short-lived, it's still very seductive.
The Home Wrecker
I was in one of the best relationships with a childhood friend, if you know, those are the best ones. We were both in our mid twenties and my brother was murdered, in front of me. It was insanely traumatic and it messed me up.
I fell into a deep pit where I would do anything to feel.. anything. My ex reached out to me and wanted to have sex, she is a straight up home wrecker and gets off on it.
I fell for it and didn't even question the decision. It didn't even feel like a decision, I was so messed up I was like a jellyfish in the waves just getting taken anywhere. But now I know it was a decision, and the worst one I've ever made.
WTF?!!?!!Despicable Me Reaction GIFGiphy
I didn't cheat but my ex gf did. She preferred my brother rather than me because he was good-looking. They're married now. I know it cuz my brother invited me to his wedding to be his best man. Forget that!!
"This person desires me."
I thought "This person desires me."
I think it's honestly that simple for most people who cheat. Sure many people cheat just because they want to have sex, but I think the core reason for most people cheating is they simply don't feel desired by their significant other.
Like the start of any relationship people become interested in each other and the key feeling people experience is that wonderful feeling of being desired by another person. It makes you feel good looking, smart, strong. Knowing that this person wants to be with me is one of the best feelings in the world.
After a while that wears off in many cases. Eventually you take the other person for granted and they take you for granted. When that happens and your SO stops making you feel desired, you might start looking for that elsewhere. So even though you are in love with your SO and have a great relationship, they probably don't act like they want to be with you like they did in the beginning. Life becomes the same old same old.
Then someone else notices you and starts paying attention to you, giving you that sense of being desired again. You start seeing what you have been missing in the eyes of someone else.
I know that's what it was like for me many many years ago. I stopped feeling desired and when someone else showed that desire towards me, I foolishly followed it.
I have been happily married and 100% faithful for a long time to an amazing woman. I never fail to make sure she knows how much I desire her. Not because I don't want her to cheat, I trust her. I do it because I don't want her to ever feel like she isn't desired, that I take her for granted. And she makes me feel the same, every day.
Oof, that is a whole bunch of mess to process and fix. First... clearly some humans are just trash and beyond repair. I pray that a lot of you realize that in the end, they did you a favor and you dodged a bullet. Heck, a hailstorm of bullets. Next time, just go in with your eyes wide open. Maybe some other people fared better...
I cheated because I was insecure and liked the validation that I got. It was a terrible ego-based decision that ended up hurting my partner terribly and making me feel even worse about myself. I have since quit drinking and worked on building self-esteem that is not dependent on my sexual attractiveness to the opposite sex.
When in HS
I was just out of high school and learning about relationships and sex. I went on a vacation and had an opportunity to have sex for the third time in my life with no way of my gf finding out, so I did it. I felt bad the whole time. When I came back, I broke up with her the next time I saw her. Cheating is certainly something I'll only do once. Still wish I'd never done it.
HindsightOh I Get It Britney Spears GIFGiphy
Guilt, disgust and self loathing. Looking back I know I was in a toxic relationship and should have left him but cheating on him felt like a chunk of my soul was ripped out. Not worth it and will never do again.
Leave the Poison...
A friend of mine cheated because he was being physically and mentally abused by his girlfriend. He found someone who was patient, kind, and gentle with him that he just fell deep and cheated. Said he never knew someone could be this way with him. He did his ex a service and admitted everything and broke up with her, even though she already knew some way or another. Lots of fights, but he never touched her. He came out with a bloody lip and a black eye. He is now with the new girl and they've been together for 5 years, happy and planning on marrying.
She is Trash...girl bye no GIFGiphy
A friend of mine cheated on her long distance boyfriend for months, with a super attractive guy at our university. When the bf finally came to visit, everyone had to pretend they didn't know about the cheating, but we ALL did.
The bf found out eventually, of course. He texted me "is she cheating on me with this dude?" And I said "no comment" which was enough.
The crazy thing is that she TRULY believed she did nothing wrong. She told everyone that it didn't count because her boyfriend was her first love and that would never change, blah blah. Horrible to not have a shred of remorse.
Combine low self esteem with an alcohol problem, and an honest belief that everyone would cheat given opportunity. I thought cheating was just a way to prove "you can't hurt me." I'm ashamed of the people I've hurt in my life. I still haven't figured it all out yet, but I'm working with my therapist to become a better person.
At 18 (f) I started working in an industry dominated by men and the number of guys that tried to pick me up was astronomical.
Didn't seem to matter if they were married or not, or old enough to be my father. It really screwed with my trust in people, especially men. I honestly believed that everyone would cheat and some people were just sneakier. So if my partner was going to cheat I might as well too. I realized way too late that if everyone I hung around with was willing to cheat it meant I was hanging around the wrong people.
Stay CalmPray Good Vibes GIF by Ryn DeanGiphy
My ex and i had troubles regarding my usage of a certain substance to calm your mind. at one point i was in a club with my then best friend (who also had a gf) and we both started dancing with these chicks.
the one i was dancing with took my hand and took me to the toilet to do whatever. i refused to even kiss her in that stall and left. i didn't tell her but it was on my mind all the time. i cheated on my ex 1 week later with 3 different girls when i was drunk and thought it'd be over anyways. when i woke up the next morning i remembered and it felt like a movie to me. had to break the news to her. never again.
Nothing. Maybe a sociopath answer but legitimately nothing. It wasn't this over arching fear like oooh I better stop or else, it was legitimately not thinking of anyone or anything else just, "I want to enjoy the moment" I mean as far as sex. Emotionally becoming invested in someone is a slow burn with a quick pop.
You don't realize how far you've strayed until it's too late. You're having fun, you're just enjoying conversations and talking and then the next thing you know you realize it's not with your significant other but with this other person.
The self realization is the killer.
Tit for Tat
I cheated on him because he cheated on me first. We had not broken up yet, but as far as i was concerned it was over. I wanted to cheat just to show him that he was vulnerable to being cheated on, regardless of how big his ego was. He thought he could do what he want while no one would ever dare do the same to him.
My soon to be ex cheated on me with the next door neighbor and subsequently ran off with him. She threw me away like a piece of trash (16 yrs together and 2 kids). I'm not angry (sarcasm). Anyway, I asked her "I understand the emotional feelings snuck up on you, but the first time you had physical contact, why didn't you stop and say, hey, this is not right?"
Her answer: "because it was fun."
And that, boys and girls, is why she's my soon-to-be-ex.
On a side note, I was thinking today that I feel sorry for her. Once a cheater always a cheater. They can never have a 100% trusting relationship because they both know that if things get tough the other person is perfectly capable of cheating on them. There will always be that tiny doubt in the back of their minds. Not a good foundation to build a relationship.
Excusesno excuses GIF by Meghan TrainorGiphy
Alcohol and horniness also i was and probably still am a bad person
Oh and opportunity.
My best friend cheated on his fiancee and when I asked him this same question, he told me that he was unhappy. He still didn't leave her and I know there's a lot of guilt there but, 2 years later, they are still together, not married, and have a kid.
I thought we had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy because we hadn't had sex with each other in years.
Turns out I was the only one who thought that.
The words seem absurd as I type them now. Who would have that deal without discussing it?
(Now I am in an open relationship, which is much more my style).
It was the least bad thing I could do.
My wife was completely dependent on me, but she was also a completely neglectful spouse. I tried all of the right ways to address the situation: books, therapist, good communication. I tried for years and years. She just had zero interest in my sexual needs but was utterly incapable of sustaining herself in any way if I left her and had no interest in changing that.
So I reached out for some physical comfort, knowing full well how wrong and bad it was. I never tried to justify it and say it was a good thing. I know I'm a crap human being and I don't know if I can live with myself if she found out because of the pain it would cause.
i know this isn't even the question but my ex literally cheated on me with my best friend and ironically he got cheated on with his best friend before so that was something.
Love can be a poison. So we need to be drinking more water. Moral of the story: If you're going to cheat... be decent and tell your partner it's not working. And that it's YOU, not them.
Students who have not prepared for an exam somehow have the energy to devise a plan to cheat.
Although most exam proctors are wise to the cheating students' ways – no matter how elaborate their attempts are – there are a few whose clever ploys keep them from getting busted.
Curious to hear about the experience of exam proctors, Redditor Atlfitguy asked:
While Redditors shared what they witnessed in the test room, not all were witnessed by exam proctors. Some responses were submitted by students who were impressed enough not to rat out their peers.
These Redditors witnessed answers being relayed to students by an unassuming accomplice.
While the tactics may have looked good on paper, they failed to fool anyone.
Using A "Translator"
"At the test center I used to work candidates were allowed to bring a translator of their choice as long as it got approved by the state. Most of the time it was a family member and we would listen in on the conversation using a headset and record it. Once in a while, while replaying the recordings we would hear signals and patterns given by the translator telling the candidate which option to choose. Busted!"
"Not an exam proctor, but a student who heard of this afterwards. It was two girls, and the one who knew the answers sat behind the other. During the test, she started braiding the other girl's hair. When the teacher wasn't looking, the one in the front would make a number with her fingers on the side of her thigh (the question), and the other responded by pulling her hair on specific spots (A, B, C, D)."
"They made a habit of braiding each other's hair everyday days before the exam so the teacher wouldn't find it weird. I was the goody two shoes who never cheated, but even I had to respect them."
Tap Tap Tap
"My mom told me that she would sit in front of her (smart) friend, who would tap on my mom's back in some form of code to give her the answers."
"I was proctoring a common exam for 5 different lecture sections. A male student came in and attempted to take the exam for his girlfriend. One had to scan their ID to be issued an exam... He scanned his girlfriend's ID and then claimed he was a transman who had recently transitioned."
"My friend braided her earphones into her hair and had recorded her written French exam essay which she then wrote down. Didn't get caught, have mad respect for people who cheat the shitty exam system."
"And I'm a teacher."
"EDIT: Should mention this wasn't for a regular exam. This was for her final GCSE exam."
Notes To Self
Some students used their own bodies to scribble down the answers – including on thighs, arms, and even mixed among freckles.
All that work disguising the answers could have been spent on studying.
Yet, here we are.
Notes On Thighs
"I'm not an examiner but my mate once wrote out loads of notes on his thighs then went to the toilet during the exam- the examiner led him to the toilet to check the cubicle out first etc then waited to listen for papers rustling etc. He wasn't very smart but that could well be the smartest idea he's ever come up with. Absolutely do not condone though!"
"Not very elaborate, but I used to very lightly write equations on my fingernails in pencil before math tests. At the start of the test I'd immediately write them down on my test packet (which wasn't unusual, we were encouraged to write them down first so we wouldn't get nervous and mess them up) then wipe off my fingernail with another finger."
Camouflage With Freckles
"I have a lot of freckles on my arm, which would turn lighter if I put pressure on the skin, which gave me an idea. If I used a marker with a similar color as my freckles, I could make dots that formed letters or numbers, and when I pressed my arm just right, the freckles would fade for a second or two, but the ink would remain dark. Couldn't write a lot like this, but enough for notes on more difficult concepts. Never got caught."
Two "BUSTED" Students
"Not a proctor but I witnessed two students get caught cheating while we were taking exams."
"One girl wore cheap/thin leggings that were slightly too tight. When she sat down, they would stretch out further and would basically become see-through over her thighs. She had a bunch of equations written on her thighs that one of the proctors noticed as they walked around the testing room. BUSTED."
"One guy had a bunch of stuff written on the insides of his arms, near his wrists . He wore a long-sleeved shirt that he would pull up/down. One of the proctors noticed him messing with it across the room and had him pull his sleeves up. BUSTED."
"Don't cheat, kids. You really don't want to have to explain to future employers or grad schools why you have an academic suspension or worse on your transcript."
Tricks Up My Sleeve
Instead of relying on accomplices or their own flesh canvases, the following students devised ingenious ways to cheat.
One proctor was astonished while watching one particular student who, like a magician, produced slips of paper from "everywhere."
Printing Personalized Labels
"I knew a guy who would make his own labels for soda/water bottles, but change the nutrition info to be useful equations for the test. The labels' material was identical to regular ones, even down to the gloss of the paper. Seems like if he spent the time studying, instead of making perfect labels for cheating, he wouldn't need the labels in the first place."
"My friend came up with the realization that you can slip a paper into your mask and then pull it to see what you wrote."
"In high school, circa 1996, I somehow obtained the answers to a 20 question test. I proceeded to go to the computer lab and type the answers and then printed them in size 3 font. Then I cut them out and taped them on one side of a white Bic pen. During the test I could roll the pen so the answers weren't visible, and then when I need to look I could tilt the pen slightly and see the answer. I missed two on purpose so the teacher wouldn't figure I cheated."
So Many Slips Of Paper
"Guy came in to sit an exam (along with one or two dozen others), wearing an eyepatch and with one arm in a sling with a prosthetic hand. Pretty unusual, but whatever. But I got suspicious when he started fiddling with his eyepatch, pulling it way away from his face and then putting it back. So I pressed the button on my desk that turns the cameras on (not sure why they didn't just record all the time, but this was back in the mid-eighties). I wasn't actually supposed to intervene in these cases, so I just sat there and watched, astounded, as this guy proceeded to pull little slips of paper from all over the place -- the sleeve of his supposedly injured arm, under his tongue... incredible. I don't know how he fooled himself into thinking nobody would notice."
"I used to make fake fire emergency posters with notes, and taped it to the wall next to my desk. I was never caught."
"For the german equivalent of the SAT, you get an English-English dictionary for use during the English exam provided by the school."
"Someone in my year bought the one used by the school, cut the cover off and glued it onto a German-English dictionary. The school found out when they tried to jam 11 books into the shelf-space for 10 books after the exam. The culprit wasn't found. Kind of looking forward to the 20 year anniversary; I want this mystery solved."
It must be amusing for fellow classmates or exam proctors to witness various methods students go out of their way for in order to cheat.
Their tactics are audacious and risky.
And while cheating on any exam is a cardinal sin, there should be a separate category for some students to earn points for the most elaborate schemes.
Writing on thighs? Not so much. But the hair braiding system was hardly a harebrained scheme.
However, the bottom line should be: Don't cheat on your exams, kids!
Look back far enough in your ancestry, and you're liable to find something dark.
But for some Redditors who posted in a recent thread, the dark secrets didn't require much digging to find. In fact, the perpetrators--or victims, as some of the stories showed--are still alive today, complete with sealed lips and awkward family gatherings.
Bloodshed, adultery, and societal shunning were common themes ringing through many of the secrets shared under the cover of internet anonymity.
A look at some of the best posts may leave you feeling like sensational movies and novels aren't actually so far off from how this stuff really goes down.
Al-Anka asked, "What is your darkest family secret?"
A Key Detail Comes to Light
"My grandfather was killed in a bar when my father was still a toddler. The official story was that he was murdered over a pinball game (back then pinball was pretty serious, I guess)."
"It wasn't until recently my grandmother confessed, on her death bed, that my grandfather actually killed someone and buried the body, days before his own demise. So he was actually killed in retaliation for a murder that he committed."
"My grandmother kept this secret for almost 65 years."
For One Person, An Impossible Secret to Keep
"It's me. My dad never told his family I existed. I was shameful, maybe he was more ashamed."
"After he died they found out about me and kindly asked me not to come to the funeral. I get why he never told them."
Nepotism With an Extra Red Flag
"My dad gave a job to a cousin. I remember as a kid that this cousin I'd never heard of just suddenly popped up out of nowhere without explanation but I was a kid so didn't really think of it, but everyone made a big deal out of how great it was for my dad to give him a job."
"I found out 20 years later that the cousin had been in prison for having a relationship with a student."
Some Stones Are Better Left Un-Turned
"A year or two after her adoptive mother died, my mom went looking for information about her birth parents, and found that her birth mom and her husband had been gruesomely murdered by a drug cartel."
"There was an article about their murder in Rolling Stone magazine that had gory pictures of their bodies."
She Lived to Tell
"My cousin, once removed (my parent's cousin) was kidnapped and tortured by a serial killer. She was (after many days) dropped off near a running path with her neck slit."
"She lived (unlike the other 3) and she could lead the police to his home. He is still in prison."
"As a child I heard whispering of it and didn't find out the whole truth until I was older."
Capitalizing On Your Resources
"I had an uncle who moved far away, worked in a boiler room at a huge casino, decades ago. He was always sketchy, and he had way more money than a simple boiler room employee ought to have had."
"Rumours that the boiler room was a really useful thing for the mob, due to boilers doubling as incinerators for certain purposes. Hence the money. Many unanswered questions there."
Sounds Like Classic 1930s Stuff
"My great grandfather shot and killed a man in his grocery store back in the 30s over a poker game."
"He ran a speak easy out of the back of his store and lost almost $2k so as the guy was walking out the front after the store closed he shot him and got away with it by telling the police the man robbed him."
"It wasn't until he was on his death bed he told my grandfather what had happened."
Based On True Events
"In the film Driving Miss Daisy, when the chauffeur (played by Morgan Freeman) is driving Miss Daisy to worship service, they get stuck in a traffic jam. He gets out to see what the hold-up is."
"When he gets back in, he says 'you won't be going to service today, somebody done bombed the temple.' (Hebrew Benevolent Congregation Temple, Atlanta, 1958)."
"She says 'What - who would do such a thing?'"
"My uncle, that's who."
Cool as Cucumbers
"Father won the lottery and we've been pretending to be poor so our family doesn't try to ask for money." -- holyydiver32
"Safest bet. Family turn at even the chance of running someone else into the ground for money. Your father is a clever man" -- Pudgeysaurus
"That's a solid strategy especially with family who believe that NO is a suggestion and not a statement." -- Goinghame
An Unfortunate Thing To Fear
"One family member killed another by leaving a bag of poisoned donuts on the front steps. We are now 'hesitant' about accepting donuts." -- grouchycyborg
"Where do you live with such frivolous donut dispersion?" -- Sigg3net
"I'm just imaging your whole family being sceptical about ever being offered a donut and it has made me chuckle. Sorry for your loss tho." -- MonsterMunch86