Sex education looks different across the world. Some places like the US or the UK are rather conservative with their education, while New Zealand and the Netherlands are liberal in teaching even young kids the basics of consent.
Given the vast differences in cultural norms around sex, dating, relationships and consent, it makes sense there would be people looking to the internet for advice,
We selected the best sex tips from AskReddit that seem to resonate the most with people.
Redditor Assorted_Education_ asked:
"What is this one sexual fact everyone would benefit knowing?"
Start taking notes!
Hygiene is important.
"Wash your f*cking hands before you put them inside someone!"
"I'll do you a better one: wash EVERYTHING you put inside someone."
"And file your nails."
Use the bathroom when you're done.
"Pee after sex."
"If you do get a UTI, men too, get it treated or it can lead to kidney failure. Please stay well :)"
"This applies to guys as well."
"I had this problem a lot at the point of literally peeing blood, it was so frickin painful and traumatizing at the point of not wanting to HAVE sex, although I did pee after I had it like 3 times like in 4 months. I had to pay a sh*t ton of money since UTIs can only get treated with antibiotics. UTI are no joke, if you are a women it easier to Get it, if you are a man its really Hard to Get it, but you NEED to go to the hospital ASAP."
"So fun fact, or maybe not so fun fact, there's apps like Lemonade Health which sound ridiculous, but you can get a doctor to call you and prescribe you UTI meds over the phone for under 40 bucks, they send the script to a pharmacy near you of your choosing. Super great if you don't have insurance but need UTI meds. And they follow up with an email to make sure everything is still going okay. (they do other stuff too, but that's how I found them, needing UTI meds)."
Communication makes great sex.
"Talk to your partner."
"Better communication = better sex."
"If you know what they want, you can do it for them. Mind reading makes things complicated and usually worse."
"Yes this is absolutely correct. I am stunned by how many people don't communicate. This includes people in a relationship."
"I used to say I have a foolproof pan on learning a woman's pleasure zones and those zones that'll get you smacked if you tickle there. Of course everybody smirks and says sure okay what is this magical plan? I reply: I ask."
"After the first time I had sex with my boyfriend I specifically asked him if there was anything that I could do differently or that he liked that I would continue to do. He said that he had never been asked that before and found it to be a very large turn on."
"This has to go both ways too. You have to be ready to honestly listen to your partner and also need to speak up when you want or don't want something. The second one is usually the more difficult."
For some, it's the main course.
"Foreplay is important."
"Amen to that. My wife wants to skip it all the time and that makes sex boring sometimes."
"The 'pre-foreplay' is also important. Never stop flirting with your partner no matter how long you’ve been together."
You have to find what works.
"Clitoral stimulation is not just a trigger finger as fast as you can. I can't speak for everyone because maybe that works for some people, but plenty of others need variation. change rhythms, change up the pressure, try different things until you figure out what works."
"I had a partner that treated it like the elevator button. 'I keep pressing it but it's not coming?? Maybe it's broken.'"
"Agreed, it is not a radio knob that you keep rotating to find that perfect frequency. Asking what your partner likes will save you a lot of time and they will like it too!"
You're not alone.
"Whatever insanely weird thing you're into, you're definitely not alone."
"If I've learned nothing else from Reddit, I've learned that. Doesn't matter what niche sexual or non-sexual quirk, experience, or interest I have, someone else is also interested in or has experienced it."
"This is a rule for life in general too, outside of sex. I love finding friends with mutually weird interests."
Once you found it, don't stop.
"If a woman is clearly enjoying what you're doing, don't go faster or harder immediately. She was enjoying what you did before for a reason."
"The trouble is it’s kind of like walking, I’m doing it at that pace but once you put my mental focus on it my pace changes."
"That’s why I don’t tell my partner to keep going haha because it makes them immediately conscious of what they’re doing. We have other cues to show that we’re about to climax."
No seriously, don't stop.
"The male orgasm does not end at the point of ejaculation but a few seconds after."
"If you’re pleasing your man and he ejaculates- DO NOT IMMEDIATELY STOP."
"An ex of mine when giving oral would keep going long after I got off. She basically kept going until I couldn’t take it anymore. It was amazing."
"And so is she single or…?"
"Sex can give you cancer!"
"Ok so clickbait aside, sexual contact can lead to human papillomavirus (HPV) infections. HPV is found in a number of squamous cell carcinomas (cancer) anywhere from the mouth, throat, vocal chords and even the esophagus, cervical cancer, vulvar cancer and anorectal cancers, and genital warts."
"It's also one of the most common STIs out there and is leading to higher rates of head and neck cancers in men. Unfortunately there's no test for HPV in men so a lot of guys are out there unknowingly carrying HPV even after testing negative for HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia and the usual other STIs they check for."
"BUT! The strains of HPV most responsible for cancer are covered in the Gardasil-9 HPV vaccine."
"The vaccine also protects against genital warts. So if any healthcare providers give you pushback on getting the vaccine you could say that you'd like it in order to protect against genital warts :D "
The Magic Button
"Men, it’s not 'gay' to play with your ass."
"In fact, the secret to the best orgasm you'll ever have is inside your ass. Find someone to help you, or get a toy to pleasure yourself."
"You’ll never want to cum without p-spot stimulation ever again!"
"Being gay means being attracted to other men, not fully enjoying every kind of pleasure your body can give you. Also there’s nothing wrong with being gay, so play with your ass!"
"Men have a magic orgasm button too! God is a jerk, though, because he put it up our ass."
One Night Stand
"One-night-stands mostly don’t exist."
"Just like porn, the idea of rampant one night stnads are another thing that TV and movies love to hype up to set unrealistic expectations."
"I’ve literally never met anyone or spoken to anyone who has had a one-night-stand. And yes, I went to college parties. Again, all in the movies."
"Once I saw how rare and nonexistent one-night-stands actually are, I stopped pressuring myself into trying to get one."
"You'll never get to point where you have the skeleton key for every woman."
"They are all different and they all enjoy different things... If you fail the first time, talk, listen, read her body and learn what she likes."
"Every woman is like a song, you have to learn her specific rhythm. And No two songs are completely alike."
"Oh and unless the oven is preheated (believe me, she'll let you know) foreplay is a must."
Experimentation Is Awesome
"Experiment. And don’t knock something till you try it at least once. You never know what you actually might like till you try it"
"Be open to anything your partner wants to do. Try it once and be honest if you like it or not. Tell your partner what you want to try and what you like don’t hold back."
"Ladies: you can learn to control the muscles that control the tightness of your vagina. They're the pelvic floor muscles, or kegels, the same muscles that help control urination."
"To find them, stop urinating mid stream."
"Then you can start to exercise them by clenching for a few seconds and relaxing (using toys might be fun, but it's not really necessary). Try to only clench the pelvic floor muscles, without also clenching your buttocks or abdomen."
"Any penis-having partners will thank you for having strong pelvic floor muscles, and it has plenty of health benefits too."
"Also, guys? You can benefit from exercising your kegels as well."
On Your Feet
"Girls, please ride on your feet, not your knees."
"Men don't feel the stimulation if the penis doesn't move "in and out" enough. This is most common when girls ride on their knees."
"Also, you move your whole upper body when being on your knees. You can solely move your lower body, making it (probably?) less exhausting if you're on your feet. It also lets you have more control of your movement."
"Learn to kiss your partner. Like seriously, do the high school make-out thing until you get it right."
"Kissing is everything."
The First Time
"The first time doesn't necessarily have to be this sucky and embarrassing experience."
"Is it going to be phenomenal sex? Absolutely not. But if you talk to your partner, please each other beforehand, keep communicating, and focus on having fun rather than just getting the other person to finish then you'll have an enjoyable couple of minutes."
"Also sometimes you just won't finish. It happens: you don't have enough time or motivation to finish yourself off after your partner finishes, they don't have the time or motivation, sometimes your body just says no."
"Sometimes the case will be that you're just as satisfied when your partner gets off even though you didn't finish. It's happened to me, and it's not like my partner nor I were inadequate."
"Guys, moan. Express pleasure. F*cking emote."
"For years I thought being the ‘silent stud’ was somehow making me more attractive, but as soon as I let go of this idea my sex got 1000x better."
"For a lot of people, HEARING that they are gratifying you is a huge turn-on for them. You’d also be surprised how much better it feels for you. Together that creates a feedback loop and MY OH MY…"
Ultimately, the best thing to take away from this is everyone is different.
It's going to take open and honest communication with your partners and yourself to have good sex.
Most of us aren't taught these things in school, so you may stumble here and there.
There's nothing to be ashamed of, we're all still learning.
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When looking at a resume, it's easy to understand how prospective employers will assume someone is very intelligent based on their education and past experience.
But one shouldn't only assume someone's intelligence based on what they read.
More often than not, one can tell rather quickly that someone possesses above-average intelligence, based on how they speak, how they behave, or other telling details.
Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapesGiphy
You know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphy
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulzWhy Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphy
An endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
With each passing year of a marriage, couples will often discover that while they don't love each other any less than they once did, that spark their relationship used to carry has faded.
This will often lead these couples to look for ways to spice things up a bit.
Among the more popular experiments is inviting a third member to their bedroom.
Enticing as this prospect is, however, it's also easy to be intimidated by the reality of it, or even the mere suggestion of it.
"Men, what advice do you have for men whose wives want to bring a third into the bedroom?"
Make sure you want to do it.
"You need to be completely honest with yourself, ask if this is something you want and could live with."- Dame87
Proceed with caution
"It’s like frolicking in a mine field."
"You both better be SUPER into the idea, you can’t have one person who’s reluctantly agreed to go along with it."
"And established rules."
"A threesome sounds like fun and games until you’re watching your partner make faces and sounds that you only thought were for you in your most intimate moments together, and a burning jealousy comes out of nowhere and breaks your heart."
"I’m not saying it’s automatically a bad idea and I know people do polyamory successfully, but dear god be careful."- coleosis1414
Make sure you're an active participant
"I had an ex that was adamant that she wanted to be a swinger or whatever."
"The one time I decided to roll with it, I hit it off immediately with the other dude's girlfriend and had a blast hanging out with her all night."
"The other dude was a total creep, though."
"Also, my ex could not handle the fact that someone else was giving me the slightest bit of attention."
"So, needless to say, that didn't go anywhere."
"Turns out she didn't want to be a swinger, she just wanted to have sex with other people behind my back, which she had no problems whatsoever with."- Ted_Denslow
Look out for ulterior motives
"Just remember that if you bring this up and your husband is against it, that could be the beginning of the end of your marriage."
"For a lot of people their partner saying 'I am seriously considering having sex with other people and I'm checking with you if it is ok', is a deal breaker."- gamerplays
Consider a test run?
"Go to a bar together separately."
"Watch them flirt/interact with someone else."
"If you get jealous, it's probably a bad idea to bring in a third."
"If it turns you on, go for it."- SinSlayer
Query people with experience.
"It’s something my wife and I have talked about."
"We both agreed that opening the Pandora’s box is not the way we want our relationship to go."
"While it sounds fun, we have seen way to many relationships derailed because of it."- DarthDujo
Consider going whole hog.
"Bring a 4th."- xxemrgmi
Evaluate your relationship first.
"Make sure you and your partner are secure in your own relationship before having another person join."
"Have boundaries, and no secrets."
"From my experience it doesn't usually work out in the end."- Thick-Procedure455
"Don't do it."
"For a long time, my ex harbored a fantasy of watching me have sex with another woman."
"Hey, who knows why any of us are wired the way we are?"
"After contemplating the idea together for a while, we decided to approach one of her more attractive co-workers, who had made a series of flattering comments along the lines of "you're so lucky" and "he's so good-looking'."
"She enthusiastically agreed."
"Our first meet-up was of course awkward, but the second, third and following were pretty good."
"In fact they got progressively hotter, as we all got more comfortable with each other's boundaries, erotic likes and dislikes."
"However, over a few months these occasional kinky weekends transitioned into the co-worker asking more frequently and aggressively to be invited over."
"We tried to explain that we had intended these threesomes to be rare and exotic highlights in our sex life, not regular occurrences, but she didn't take the message to heart and instead became increasingly insistent, bordering on smothering."
"After being turned down one Friday, that night she unexpectedly showed up at our door anyway, carrying a weekend bag and wearing nothing but a raincoat, stay-ups and heels."
"While that was quite a sight, it definitely creeped us out, as it made us finally realize the whole arrangement was descending into 'play Misty for me' territory."
"My ex and I agreed that her unexpected and unwelcome appearance signaled the end of future three-ways, at least until we were able to cool our own selves down, reassess, and perhaps later find a less demanding and insistent third."
"Things subsequently got very sticky at work for my wife, as her co-worker, with whom she had to interact closely, strongly resented being permabanned, and kept demanding to know 'what she'd done that was so awful'."
"Coworker eventually asked to be transferred to another office, but by the time that process was over and done, the discomfort / guilt / pressure / confusion my ex was suffering both at home and at work had begun to take its psychological toll."
"I must confess it didn't help that our own sex life was simultaneously going through a rough patch."
"Long story short, we ended our decade-long relationship less than a year after breaking off the threesomes, chiefly due to trust issues and growing sexual incompatibility, both perhaps triggered by our experimentation."
"Ever since, I've regretted agreeing to that first three-way."
"If I hadn't been so damned eager to take a bite of forbidden fruit, we might have kept our relationship intact."
"But I guess this can also be put down as what sometimes happens when you ignore that old advice, 'don't sh*t where you sleep'."- theartfulcodger
When venturing into the unknown, it's always wise to gain some first hand experience, to hear a variety of pros and cons of what you're possibly getting yourself into.
That way, deciding whether or not it's for you will become increasingly clear.
It's also important to remember, that it is always ok to say "no".
People Share Their Best 'You Either Die The Hero Or Live Long Enough To Become The Villain' Experiences
"You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain."
Though not necessarily a universal truth, all of us have witnessed unfortunate moments in our lives where we've seen this saying become a reality.
Be it seeing our favorite public figures take a serious fall from grace, someone we know and admire eventually disappointing us in a devastating manner, or even seeing ourselves turn into someone we promised we'd never become.
One Redditor was curious to hear people's examples of this saying coming to light, either from a personal experience or seeing it happen to a well-known, public figure, leading them to ask:
"Who is your example of 'you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain'?"
"He originally stood up for civil rights when it was really unpopular."
"Was hospitalized and accidentally placed in the black ward."
"When the doctors found out, they tried to move him, but he refused."
"Then he became a cult leader and used his power and influence to end the lives of a thousand people."- Crvsby
Earning a position of power
"Working in restaurant kitchens."
"You either burn out young, or become the boss that everyone hates."
"There's exceptions, but that's the rule."- grandpas_old_crow
"Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver."
"Made up a bunch of untested uses for it, treating people having asthma attacks, and drowning victims were the two I remember that he publicly talked up."
"Later, he funded an experiment that involved injecting people with Malaria to see if it would treat other conditions.
"The experiment was found to be unethical by American review boards, so he conducted them in Ethiopia." - User Deleted
"In WW1 he led the French to victory at Verdun, one of the worst battles in human history."
"In WW2, after France was beaten, Petain was the head of state of Vichy France."
"Guy went from the Lion of Verdun to the biggest Nazi collaborator in France."- arthuranymoredonuts
"Every organ until it gets cancer."- SuperBaconjam
"He had the whole country behind him here in Ireland at one point bar people who thought combat sport is grotesque."
"He was witty, original, backing himself up and having a Hollywood like rise to stardom."
"Now he's someone who the whole country is ashamed of, goes punching old men, clearly sleeps around on his wife while she's at home with the kids, just a walking caricature of himself."
"He didn't listen to his own advice."
"Get out."- StephenPigot2020
Turning into our parents
"My dad used to annoy me by calling my Pokemon cards 'Pokey-Mans'."
"Now my kids have them and I do the same thing and it annoys the sh*t out of them."
"Thanks for the (Pokeyman) gold!"- rumpel4skinOU
"Almost died during the revolutionary way, if I recall correctly, and if he had he would have been remembered a huge hero, and a martyr."
"Instead he lived and changed sides, and is remembered only for his being a traitor."- uniqueperson22
Be it someone we knew quite intimately, or someone we admired from a far, it is always heartbreaking to see someone evolve from someone we love, to someone we utterly hate.
Sometimes we do things that have to be done.
And some of those things live in life's gray area of right and wrong.
What comes as a surprise to some is when we don't care if we're wrong.
We may still technically be in the right.
But morally and ethically, there may be some issues.
But still, many people don't care.
Redditor BirdyPizzawanted to see who would fess up about some of the worst things we're responsible for but have no shame.
"What is the darkest thing you have ever done and don’t regret?"
I've stolen from department stores that overcharged. I was arrested. I didn't care. So there...
"Five years ago my dad suffered a catastrophic stroke. Left paralyzed and robbed of his speech and ability to communicate he was a shell of the once vibrant, charismatic man he once was. He was moved into skilled nursing where he lived for nearly two years, he was miserable."
"On my last visit I told him it was okay if he wanted to leave us, that we would miss him but he should go. A week later I received the call that he had passed. Instead of immediate grief I felt relief. Relief that he was finally free. The grief came later and I still miss him every single day."
"Got into a car accident and had to stay with my mom for a couple days to figure out what to do. Went back to my apartment (I had two roommates) and everything was missing from my room. Long story short one of my roommates had everything hidden in her room."
"I called and told her the things were missing from my room and she came up with a lie that a couple girls came to look at my room (I was moving out bc of the accident, long story) and that they must have taken my things. She had everything I owned. Including my grandmothers perfume bottles, stuffed to the back of her closet, under her bed, behind her dresser etc."
"So I packed all of my stuff up. Then took a giant black garbage bag and stuffed as much of her closet in it as I could. Took it to the middle of nowhere, dug a hole and burnt it. She called screaming at me that her stuff was missing. I told her the two girls must have come by and taken her stuff too."
"I hit my uncle left right and center when he was trying to choke my father to death. I was 16 years old at that time, a very skinny girl. I beat his face neck and every part of him that I could target with so much intensity that my knuckles turned blue the next day. I had an animalistic rage that day trying to help my father get away from his death grip. I hate my uncle even today."
"I got anger issues because of growing up around him. And I don't regret beating him that day at all. He was physically abusive to his wife as well. One fine day, his wife retaliated by beating him blue with a stick. And he stopped being physically violent towards her post that."
"A neighbor like 10 years ago was neglecting their dog badly in the heat. The dog escaped often and ended up at the shelter a lot. One day she jumped the fence and got her tie-out cable stuck on the fence. (She was not in danger of choking.) Neighbor put her on a 3-foot-long cable tied to a doorknob, no water, 90 degree day. I let some kind folks steal her, watched the whole thing and said nothing to stop them."
"When my father was dying and in pain I was the one who told the doctors he had been through enough and we couldn't see him suffer anymore. Doctor injected him with something, I assume a morphine mega dose and he passed peacefully moments after. Euthanasia may not be legal in UK but compassionate doctors know what's what. I don't regret it because my pa made me promise I would have his back when he got sick or old. I'm sad he got sick and never got to get old."
That is a lot of mess. But sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
"One of my ex best friends in high school was a real narcissistic lunatic. Had so many egotistical fantasies about what he deserved but I remained his friend because we met through my close friend (his girlfriend). As I started realizing what a terrible person he was I convinced him to go after his fantasy of a harem by asking to add a 3rd to their relationship, that led to a fight between his gf."
"I called her about it and asked how she felt about him adding someone to their relationship and about him sleeping with her. She said she knew nothing about that and started crying because he cheated on her. I basically helped orchestrate their breakup and have no regrets. She is happy with her first child now and he is in a toxic af relationship with 3 kids, 2 of which aren't his and his partner is 8 years older than him."
"Had to make the choice to take my dad off of life support after he got Covid this year. He was sedated for a couple of weeks and one of his lungs collapsed and I couldn't watch him fall apart anymore. My dad was a bulky dude. Constantly did a lot of outdoor work and to see him bone skinny and have no muscle left killed me and I knew even if he somehow got through it, he would have been so miserable and depressed in that state he was in. I don’t regret it. I think it was the right thing to do by him. I’ll never not miss him though. That was my buddy."
"Turned a close friend into the fish and game. He would poach mountain lions and bears. His whole family would literally shoot them and leave them. He would brag about it. I couldn’t stand it and felt that I needed to stop him. He’s in prison and so is his uncle. I know I ruined his life but he was literally killing so many mountain lions and bears."
"In middle school, there was this group of boys that would corner me in the hallway and try to scare me. I was the perfect target for these little b**tards. I was short, skinny, and had (and still have) and anxiety disorder. One day I just had enough, and asked a friend if I could have an extra pencil, sharpened it as much as I could, and when I saw one of them in the hallway, I stabbed the hell out of his leg. Sh**head got what he deserved."
Wow... we really are a dark and secretive people.