How necessary is it?
Some people need it.
Some are good with a once-and-a-blue-moon situation.
No matter your personal thoughts, when you're in a relationship it's a two-way street convo.
You have to be on the same page about intimacy or else it all blows up.
So...
Let's talk about sex baby.
Redditor Abysmal_2003 wanted to discuss sex and all the drama and fun it brings.
"How important is sex to you In a relationship?"
I love sex. And from experience I know it's important.
Toilet Thoughts
I Understand 2 Chainz GIF by MOST EXPENSIVESTGiphy"A wise man once told me 'Sex in a relationship is like a bathroom in a house. It's not why you're there, but if it disappears it can be an issue.'"
Fubai97b
Desire
"Sigh... Prostate cancer survivor here. Since I had my prostate removed to stave off cancer, I have no sexual desire (this is rare; many men have ED problems, but an unlucky few like me have no sexual desire at all). My wife has been very supportive (we are both in late 60's early 70's) and we still have plenty of cuddles and our memories to fall back on."
amerkanische_Frosch
Checkmate
"I think it's something for which you need checkpoints every so often. While at the beginning you may have the same drive things can change on a physical level (hormones, etc) that may pull you one way or another. Don't assume that just because you had the talk years ago and you feel the same way that it's the same on the other side as well."
FellcallerOmega
"bringing it up"
"Doesn't have to be a centerpiece but I should never have to beg for it."
its_Is
"This to be honest. Always felt like I was the one 'bringing it up' so to say. Pretty big dealbreaker. And before someone saying stuff about how I could do something different/I did something wrong: Shut up. You have no clue about any context."
KanadeKanashi
Not Everything
making love passionate kiss GIFGiphy"Sex isn't a super important part of a relationship until one of you isn't getting the sex you want to be getting. Then it can become very important."
ethnicbonsai
Clearly everyone is obsessed with sex. Big shock.
Same Page
Season One Love GIF by This Is UsGiphy"If it’s not important to you, you better make sure your partner feels the same or you are going to have a bad time."
lone_rutabaga
Human Intimacy
"I really don’t care at all. I used to think I wanted sex, but then I realized I just incredibly starved of human intimacy. Yes sex is an intimate thing but I’ll be just as happy curled up under a blanket with someone."
YUNGN0
"Agreed. Am dating someone who can't have sex right now for medical reasons... instead we just cuddled on the bed for a little bit. It was just as magical, if not more so."
Glamdring804
earth-shattering...
"I was someone who placed some importance on it before but not a ton. Then I met someone who really gave me an actual earth-shattering orgasm and that’s all she wrote. I’m still as attracted to him as I was when we first got together. Sex isn’t everything but when it’s good it really does take the relationship to another level."
SPtotheA
be-all-end-all...
"Pretty important. I love sex. It makes me feel closer to my partner. I love feeling desirable, vulnerable, loved, trusted, and just good. That being said, if my sexual partners decided they didn't want sex anymore for whatever reason, than our relationships wouldn't change for me. I'd miss the sex, and coping might be difficult initially. But as important as sex is, it's not the be-all-end-all when it comes to loving someone, and I'd still be grateful to have them in my life."
mother**queer
Desired
tired madonna GIFGiphy"For me the sex itself isn’t what’s important so much as the feeling of being desired. We don’t have to have sex often as long as I know I’m the only one you’re looking at in that way."
ImAshroom-69
Together
"Very important, it brings us so much closer."
Inside-Currency9002
"I was someone who placed some importance on it before but not a ton. Then I met someone who really gave me an actual earth-shattering orgasm and that’s all she wrote. I’m still as attracted to him as I was when we first got together. Sex isn’t everything but when it’s good it really does take the relationship to another level."
SPtotheA
80/20
"Crucial. My mom used to say when the sex is good it makes up 20% of a relationship, when the sex is bad it becomes 80% of the relationship."
WhiteTigressss
"Old Boomer Dude Here: She was right on point. My sex drive departed in my fifties and I don’t miss it, but my poor wife certainly does. The interesting thing is apart from that, I’m a pretty great husband. But the lack of intimacy is killing the marriage."
bdbdbokbuck
beyond a certain point...
"I'd put it as a requirement, but it's more like 'we need a certain amount of compatibility sexually for this relationship to work' rather than it being a primary determinant of how much I value the relationship. Like, beyond a certain point, if sexual compatibility is good enough, it doesn't matter if it's the best I've ever had or if we have it all the time. Other things are much more important. Nonetheless, if we couldn't even make each other happy sexually, there's no way I'd stay in that relationship."
d**gsucker
Desire
passion seduction GIFGiphy"I just want to be desired."
darlingmakinzie
"This. The actual act of sex is cool, but I want the desire. I want to be lusted after the same way I would lust at my partner."
xxDoublezeroxx
Bad Cuts
"For me it’s important because it makes me feel wanted. But I only want it if she wants it. Nothing worse than having it feel like it’s a chore or obligation for her. Once a month isn’t cutting it but I’ve tried everything to make things in her life easier that maybe she’d be interested. My self esteem is now at a zero and all I want is to feel wanted or desired."
TheHeed97015
Chores
"Very... sex to me isn't just getting my load off but it'd a actual 'connection' to me on a emotional level... being able to communicate with each other and have a good sex life because of it is just as important to me as something as simple like being able to share chores or being able to accept that you might disagree on things and that being more then okay."
6F1I
Partners
black and white love GIFGiphy"Not at all important. To me the emotional intimacy matters. For me a relationship is a safe space where we can support each other and be there for each other. Sex doesn't have to be a part of that. Of course, as long as both partners think that way, otherwise there's gonna be a problem."
Name-Forsaken
speaking from experience...
"There are a lot of great responses in this thread. Great question, but also I think the wrong focus. The right one is 'how important is sex in the relationship you have?' If the answer to the question you asked is more or less the same from both parties, then all is good."
"If this is a source of disconnect then it can be a major issue. Sex and intimacy are foundational to a true relationship, but whether or not it is a load bearing support depends on both partners not just you. (speaking from experience)."
waremi
Hold Me
"It wouldn’t really affect me to not have it. Cuddles on the other hand... I can’t imagine a relationship without them. They recharge me and fill me with love."
machinedog
Sex. Love it. Hate it. We need it or need to communicate our needs. At least now and again.
Redditor UK_Jay wanted to hear from everybody who left the church in the rearview, so they asked:
"Ex-Christians, what made you leave church?"
I don't mind the Church, but once I was done with Catholic school, it was see ya. Bye.
Truth
truth preach GIFGiphy"The fact that everyone wants to be a disciple of Jesus but don't do what Jesus told his disciple to do."
"Luke 6:46 'Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say?'"
wasd876
Pivotal Moments
"My high school religion teacher encouraged us to question our own faith. He told us that it was okay if we wound up walking away from our faith. But if we continued to believe despite his class, our faith would be that much stronger."
"One of the questions was, 'Do you believe because you actually believe, or is it because you were told to by your parents?' I finally decided that I was only Christian because of what my mom told me growing up."
"I wish every single Christian could have that religion teacher for a semester. That single semester was pivotal in my spiritual development."
kana503
I Quit
"Had many friends and acquaintances that worked for the church and quit. Found out their reasons for quitting. The higher up staff did and forced my friends to do a bunch of corrupt crap. And if they didn’t, they 'Weren’t committed to the church enough, didn’t love God enough, weren’t willing to make sacrifices, will never make it in ministry.'"
"It broke my heart. I thought this was a place of love, and people who preached love. Haven’t trusted religion since. This church is a mega church in my area and keeps popping up more locations all over town. Makes me sick to my stomach every time I drive by."
aquarinmarin
Out of Focus
"The total hypocrisy of those I grew up around. Claim to be about love, spend most of their time hating people not like them. Claim to be about evangelism, literally only hang out with and talk to each other."
"Claim to be about giving, spend all of their energy focused on making more money for themselves."
"Not to mention they have conditioned themselves to avoid critical thinking at all costs. Must accept blind 'truths' at face value, OR ELSE."
devilish-nerdclap
For my sister...
Phaedra Parks Bye Felicia GIFGiphy"When my younger sister with Down’s syndrome was told she wasn’t eligible for communion despite taking all of the classes because she 'didn’t understand.'"
TheLastSpiceGirl
Family first. Help someone understand.
Damage
heavy metal 90s GIFGiphy"They damaged my mind. I always thought I would go to hell for things I like such as horror films, heavy metal and tabletop RPGs."
EuroCultAV
"the Lord spoke to me"
"Lack of answers, judgement, and hypocrisy mostly. I also read the Bible over and over and I just wasn't getting what other people were apparently getting out of it. Also everytime I prayed, nothing happened. Every now and then someone would be like 'the Lord spoke to me.' I always waited for something like that. It just never did."
"That lack of answers thing really bugged me the most though. I really wanted what I read in the Bible to be true but I just couldn't find anything to support most of it's claims. I was really sad for awhile. And scared that the devil tricked me. After awhile tho, I didn't believe in him either."
SpiritedDistance6242
Left Behind
"They left me. My first partner and I grew up in the church together. We were seen as the golden couple in our youth group. Good, proper Christian couple. Said our prayers, worked with the less fortunate, youth work, worship, I even led sermons. Eventually we moved away to start a new life together. We then broke up. I then find that I'm being kicked out of groups on WhatsApp and Facebook, people are unfriending me on social media, all from the church."
"I found out she'd gone home first and started talking to people. I don't know what she told them, but none of the people I saw as my second family, this fellowship I'd felt so welcome in even came to me to talk. I was left alone. I reached out to multiple people to say I needed prayer because I was struggling. I got nothing. I felt abandoned by God and abandoned by his people. So I walked away from that life."
c0_sm0
Disbelief
"I was a preteen locking myself in a dark closet because that's where I felt the closest to God - in the darkness. Like he was something that couldn't be seen - only felt. And I looked up into the nothingness of my closet ceiling after the millionth episode of physical and emotional abuse from my dad."
"I asked him to save me. God, not my dad. I was crying, screaming. Please. Please save me. I was just a kid. Surely I didn't deserve this. No one answered. And it occurred to me that anyone who could stop this and wouldn't, couldn't exist. So I stopped believing."
elaerna
Thieves
Explaining Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Preachers having massive homes while the people that go to the church struggle. It’s hypocrisy from the top down."
prussianflyingcircus
Peace Out
"I gave it up for Lent and never went back."
ScaricoOleoso
"I did the same thing with New Year's resolutions. As far as I know, I'm the only one who has ever kept a New Year's resolution."
MaxCWebster
These certainly were some interesting stories where people encountered a crisis of faith.
Do you have any similar stories? Let us know in the comments below.
Curious to hear strangers recalling a deciding moment, Redditor JokeRadiant3881 asked:
"How did you feel the first time you saw your partner naked?"
These were triumphant reactions.
For Lack Of A Better Word
"I literally said 'woah' out loud."– ALIEN_Human_HYBRIDRomantic Thrill Ride
"Like a kid at Disney world. Hadn’t been on any rides yet but was excited to be there nonetheless."
– -Praetoria-
Headrush
"don't remember, no blood flow to my brain at that point."
– DoctorNotAnEngineer
Revved Up
"Horny."
– Shaggy_Poop
Complete Looney Tunes
"Remember that cartoon dog where his jaw hits the floor, tongue rolls out, and his eyes bulge out to the sound of an old timey car horn? Basically that."
– squaredistrict2213
Confidence levels were challenged but these Redditors were pleased with the results.
We Are Not Equals
"Felt sorry for what I had to offer in return."
– CurlyBill03
MILF Love
"Same! I’ve had four kids and had a lot of extra skin and sag. Man did NOT care. He seemed just as stunned as I was."
– TooTallMcCall
Embracing It All
"I felt the same way for a bit, with my hubby after baby. But every time I'm naked, even though I don't like where my body is at, he looks like he hit JACKPOT. So I feel better, knowing he thinks I'm hot, sexy, beautiful, even more so then before because I'm the mother of our child."
– DiamondEyedBarbie
Physical endowments were admired.
Life In Real-D
"She had deceptively big boobs."
– HappyDodge2
Object Appeared Larger Than Expected
"I felt like WOWZA im one lucky girl."
– Professional_Hour702
Breakfast Show
"Well, I’m 54 and got out of a marriage where my ex never felt comfortable being naked around me. My new fiancé has no problem getting naked and gives me a little show each morning she gets dressed. And she’s got an amazing body at 55!"
– macgiv
I'm very self-conscious when it comes to my body, but nothing says sexy like seeing the physical response from another man giving me a huge thumbs up, so to speak, after seeing me in my birthday suit.
Verbal affirmation isn't all that it's hyped up to be.
But body language? Now that is everything.
