There's a show on Hulu called A Teacher that made me think about the repercussions of a teacher having an illicit affair with a seventeen-year-old student.
While the controversial topic is justifiably subject to condemnation, the show delicately depicted each characters' emotional turmoil and their families in the aftermath.
While many in these types of forbidden relationships don't end well, Redditor Sadebiru was curious to hear from those familiar with the situation and asked:
These Redditors faced immediate disciplinary consequences for their involvement in their respective intimacies, but one suffered emotional trauma for years.
The Trauma Of Being Used
"My English teacher used me as a sperm donor. She slept with me until she got pregnant and then stopped. She didn't even bother to switch schools so I wouldn't know. This was about 50 years ago and it still crosses my mind and bothers me. So the fallout on my side was being mentally messed up for about 4 years and not being able to have a normal sexual relationship for a long time."
Predatory Soccer Coach
"I had a very inappropriate relationship with the assistant soccer coach. His contract was not renewed the next year and I was the subject of gossip, obviously, and labeled the school sl*t by my classmates. It was a very small private school so there was literally no way to keep anything secret. It was only later on I realized he'd taken advantage of me and was, obviously, a sicko who knew I'd fall for the flattery of an older guy the rest of the girls on the team thought was cute."
Sleeping With The P.E. Teacher
"My cousin Adrian slept with the physical education teacher. It was in the mid 1980s, and it right near the end of the school year. She was immediately transferred and he lost his school reference and was suspended for the remainder of the year, which was like four weeks from memory."
"he was no angel. He was an absolute player and he said he has no ill feelings about the whole thing at all. It didn't affect his schooling any further after that and he said he absolutely seduced her, it wasn't the other way around."
Left "Morally Conflicted" About Taking Action
"It was horrible. I was groomed by my English teacher. He said all the right things and I thought I was emotionally mature enough to handle it. I was not."
"I realized when I was 19 how messed up it was and very quietly told the bishop and the Victims of Sexual Misconduct Councilor (catholic school). My worst fear was that it was going to be a big public scandal and I didn't want my family's name dragged through the mud. So he permanently lost his teaching license."
"He is now dating a woman and I want to reach out to her so bad to her to ask if she knows, but at the same time I want that chapter of my life to end. I'm very morally conflicted."
Instead of suffering a fallout per se, the following Redditors reflected fondly back on their romantic affairs.
"Nothing since I was 6 years out of high school by that point."
"We became friends a couple years after I graduated, eventually I told her I had something of a crush on her, she thought it was cute and flattering and sat on it for a while. One day she invites me out and we meet up, have a good time, we leave. Later that night she texts me when I'm work says she's got feelings too and wants to pursue it."
"We go on a couple more dates, see a movie (The Watch for those wondering), make out in her car afterwards like a couple horny teenagers. We do the deed that night, good times."
"Anyway, the age gap was something she couldn't get over, I was 25 and she was 48, different places in our lives with different goals. We still chat though."
The Chinese Teacher
"She was my Chinese teacher at a Confucius Institute, and is almost 10 years older than me, but I always had a minor crush on her."
"When her contract was about to expire and had to leave my country, we went out to dinner. She was leaving for one last trip before returning to China, so this would be the last time I would see her. I decided to take a shot and told her about my crush. We slept together that night."
"There wasn't really a fallout. We are still in contact, but don't really talk about that night."
The following academic flings were either highly erotic or wound up being blissful.
"Too Riskey To Continue"
"A few people found out and gave me sh*t about it, but really not a big deal for me personally. It was obviously more difficult for her. Rumours got back to other teachers who were not cool with it and she had some awkward conversations to navigate with the headteacher. She admitted we saw each other outside of school but denied anything sexual, which they did not seem to believe. She was told never to be alone with me and had restrictions placed on her ability to act as a chaperone on school trips etc."
"It didn't last as it was obvious it was too risky to continue but there was no bad feeling between us."
The French Teacher
"I slept with my French teacher about 5 years after leaving school, she was just as as I'd always imagined."
"Afternoon Office Nookie"
"It was in college, we slept together before we knew I was in her class. It was one of those lecture only classes with like 200 students in it so it wasn't a big deal."
"No fallout beyond some late afternoon office nookie now and then."
"She would text me pictures of what she was wearing under her outfit that day. I miss being young."
"The Best Thing That Ever Happened"
"I started dating the grad student that was teaching one of my undergrad classes, although because I took time off before going to uni and he started early I was actually older than him."
"The uni had rules against the sort of thing, of course. We weren't found out until the spring quarter, at which time we were told to cease and desist, but by the time this happened we were engaged."
"The administration were happy for us (and we were all friends there, the department was like one big family), so instead they told us that for the rest of the year my exams and juries would have to be handled by another professor and that our class sessions would be recorded to be sure there was no funny business or nepotism."
"20 years on, we're still married - it was the best thing that ever happened to either of us!"
In rare cases, some students have glorified their dalliances with teachers and bragged about their conquests among their peers.
Some – as those participating in this thread – expressed the absence of fallout or lack of emotional trauma.
But let's make one thing clear: a teacher having sexual relations with a minor student is considered illegal by the law and court opinion in most states, and children under the age of 18 cannot give consent to sexual conduct.
An improper relationship with a student can lead to a criminal conviction and imprisonment.
We're all well aware of the weird, horrible, predatory things men do when attracted to women. But what about when women are the culprits?
Though it seems that, statistically, men are problematic at a WAY higher rate than women, there are certainly times where the person bringing the creepy vibes is, indeed, the woman.
Some men of Reddit gathered to share the most bizarre and uncomfortable things a woman has ever said.
AidenTheGamer14 asked, "Men of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing a girl has ever said or done to you?"
For some, it was the stalkers.
The cryptic behavior and frightening detective work of ex-lovers can be unparalleled.
Some Light Sleuthing
"Found out my address from the phone book, this was the 90s, sat outside my house for multiple nights, all night just watching my house, I live in the middle of the woods miles outside of town."
"We only had one date and agreed to leave it at that. I found out sometime later what she had been doing."
"Girl I was dating asked if I had changed the locks since breaking up with my ex months prior. I'm like 'No, but she wasn't a crazy person so I never worried about it.' She says if I don't change the locks she ain't comfortable sleeping over, so I change the locks."
"This ex sends me an angry text the next day 'So you changed your locks huh? Real nice a**hole.' So she had been coming over this whole time and doing who knows what."
She Stopped at Nothing
"She kept writing me letters at every address I lived at during that five-year period. If she didn't have the address she'd send them care of my parents. The most memorable is the one where she told me she was married and 'he's a great guy but he's not you.' "
"Once not long after I'd moved to a new address I came home and found a box of cookies she'd FedExed to me. Eventually I moved to a new state. I knew from her return addresses that she lived and worked there, and was worried we'd run into each other but realized that was pretty unlikely."
"Then after less than a year, she found me through a blog I was keeping and left a message on my voicemail demanding we meet. I posted a message to her on my blog telling her to stop harrassing me or I'd call the police (up to that point I'd been ignoring her, hoping she'd take the hint). That night she called, I repeated my threat to bring the authorities in, and I haven't heard from her since."
Others dealt with the creepiness on the internet. With so many avenues of communication all around us, uncomfortable comments can come from all directions.
"Someone I considered a friend started to grow feelings for me, but when she found out I had a girlfriend and I didn't feel the same for her she found out who my girlfriend was somehow. She then DM'd her and tried to tell her that I was cheating on her with her."
"Luckily I was with her when she got that DM so I could explain the situation and then we blocked her. Next day she DM'd her again from an alt account."
Worst Kind of Pen Pal
"I started a new job, and I shared a small office with a woman my age (and a couple other people). She was kinda cute but also weird and super naïve (she grew up in a very rural area). She'd flirt with me a lot, but I wasn't interested."
"So she started sending me emails."
"They were super long, detailing her whole day. And she sent them to me every day. I never responded. Then one day she sent me this long email confessing her love. I replied with the (very obvious) reasons why it wouldn't work and asked her to stop sending me emails every day. She didn't."
"They kept coming. This went on for months. I asked her in person and online to stop, but I still got these email memoirs every day. Eventually I had another female office mate who was her friend have a talk with her. Finally the emails stopped."
That's A Lot of Passwords
"I've had a girl create about 50 different Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram accounts all to try to get me to friend her. I've never met this woman in person and yet every few weeks I'll get a handful of friend requests from her"
"Met this girl online and talked to her a bit. I did started to like her."
"Later found out that the pic she showed me of herself was actually a pic of her friend who had passed away due to cancer."
In my early 20's I was at a party and the hosting woman full-on tried to reach down my pants to grab my business."
"Strange, yes, what made it creepy is that we were right in front of her mother, who was cheering her on."
Breaking Out the Scroll
"After 6 months from our breakup, my ex called me because she wanted to see me. It seemed strange to me but I accepted. When we met she was friendly and all..."
"Then at a certain point she pulls a sheet in which there was written a list of all men she fu**ed after our relationship and she read it all to me, with accurate description of every sexual intercourse. Well it was an awkward moment."
"I was going to head home after a night out and a I was getting into my taxi a girl jumped in after me. I asked what they were doing and she said 'I'm coming home with you.' "
"Nope. Taxi driver helped me and she got out the car eventually when I shot down her advances."
Again, it's important to read this thread and remember that this is a bias sample, solely focused on the incidents where a woman did act creepy.
But, yes, it happens out there.
Sex, and intimacy... its a weird dance isn't it? You can be fires blazing and then suddenly... eww, gross, get away from the next. It only takes one wrong move to cause a foul. Now sex is fun that is for sure. But every now and again trying something new can be dangerous.Redditor u/Rocker9835 wanted to hear about the times when in the midst of some sweet sweet loving you knew... yeah "I should go!"... Have you ever practically walked out mid sex? What happened?
During one of most "athletic" encounters in the past, my paramour and I got so wrapped up in our "activities" we neglected to realize how far we had moved the bed from the wall. So at one point his hand slipped off the side and then just like that, he fell from the bed and onto the wine glasses we had set aside on the floor earlier. Needless to say, henceforth the mood was... "shattered."
Safety FirstPew Pew Reaction GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
She kept insisting that I didn't need a condom, "I'm infertile" was among her excuses. Like I just met you on Tinder. I just walked out. We didn't do anything.
My wife headbutted me when tussling around in bed. Didn't think much of it. Kept going, switched position with me on top. She commented that I was drooling on her face.
Thing is I'm not a dog, so I wasn't drooling at all. Wiped my face with the back of my hand which came back wet.
Lights on. Blood all over the place. My nose was bleeding. I had bled in her eye...
Not as much a walk out since we still went to sleep together, but sex wasn't on the menu for the rest of the evening.
We hadn't gotten very far, but I quickly moved down while she quickly moved up, and I broke my nose on her pelvic bone.
She suddenly flipped the absolute hell out, screaming at me about "ruining our night" as blood gushed out of my nose. Mind you this was like the second date. She continued to yell at me about how I needed to fix this (a total accident) and I just cleaned myself up the best I could and went home.
The Rough Ridesuperman running GIFGiphy
My gf at the time had been on top of me and came slightly disconnected on the upswing. Gravity and exuberance drove her back down snapping my penis in half (audibly, I might add) on her pelvic bone. Not gonna lie. Wish it'd been my nose.
Edit: Because a number have asked, no, I didn't go to hospital/see a urologist...didn't even think it was that serious at the time (but lets be honest: In the moment, it's freaking serious!). No lasting damage...Bruising and tenderness for a week and a bit, but no banana bend, no recurring pain, nothing. I consider myself pretty lucky in that regard, considering it could've been catastrophic.
Ok. I may never have sex again. Life is already dangerous enough. Now I have to worry about broken limbs and learning how to be a triage medic? My partner's encounter with the glass luckily had very little blood. He was just sore. But all of this nonsense is gonna give me nightmares. But, wait... there's more!
My ex-wife would bite me around my clavicle, most of the time hard, but not enough to kill the mood for me b/c it meant she was really liking what I was doing. Until one time when she bit so hard out of the blue she drew blood. It was over for the night.
Too Many Legs...
My boyfriend said he felt something hit his back like it dropped and hit hardish and move so we stopped and I check and nothing was there so we continued.
About a minute later I had my hand on my boyfriend's shoulder and I feel something move on my hand I look and a huge house spider comes running over onto my face.
I screamed my boyfriend looked he sees the spider slaps it off my face and the pair of us get up and nope ourselves out the room throwing clothes on as we go danm 8 legs ruined our evening lol.
Bad Bouncescared music video GIF by IHC 1NFINITYGiphy
This wasn't the guy's fault. I was bouncing on top of him and I accidentally bit my bottom lip really hard when I bounced. I started bleeding profusely on his chest and down my chin. We both stopped and ran to the bathroom.
Shut Up Already!!
I once regrettably dated a woman who was with me purely to upset her conservative parents. We were having sex in her bedroom and she began shouting as loudly as she could. I asked her to stop, but she said she wanted them to hear us.
That was not my idea of fun, so I stopped. She sobbed like a child because I didn't want to take part in her weird fantasy.
Are You Deaf?!Im Out Shark Tank GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
The guy kept asking if he could remove the condom. "But I'm clean, I've been tested like 2 weeks ago! You can trust me!"
Yeah, right. After maybe the 6th or 7th time I got so pissed off I just up and left.
A girl I had been seeing off and on did a pretty freaking spot on Christopher Walken impression. Like, from a 5 foot nothing, 110lb woman. It was really funny and she did it so rarely that it always made me laugh.
Anyway, one time we started doing it. A few minutes in, as we're getting into a good rhythm, she yells, "oh yeah, do me!" in her Walken voice and it was so freaking funny.
I laughed for way too long and we had to stop and go outside to gather myself.
Never Stop!Excuse Me What GIF by One ChicagoGiphy
I had an ex say her last boyfriend's name in the middle of the act.
I wasn't even insulted because I knew she was a drama queen and the way she said it was so over the top. "Oooooh my gooooooood ex's name, you are amazing. Never stop!" in a way that no real life human speaks outside of movies. I wouldn't have been mad if it had been accidental, mistakes happen, but the fact that she was doing it intentionally so she could have a dramatic scene straight out of The Notebook or some other garbage romance movie.
He started to strangle me. I told him I didn't like that and he said he would stop, but his hands kept creeping up to my neck. Flipping terrified me. I sure as hell got out of there as fast as I could.
Yeah I was with a girl after I had a fresh breakup, she was being really vulgar about what she wanted me to with her, but kept referring to me as her father.
Not like in a daddy kink kind of way, she just kept calling me Gary, and well. That was this woman's father's name.
We got started and then as soon as she said it again I lost the erection and then pretended to have chest pains and went home. She then spent the next few days messaging me about
"must have been wonderful if I almost gave you a heart attack."
I ended up blocking her.
He was my first Tinder hookup and kept trying to convince me that we shouldn't use a condom because he couldn't finish with one on. In my naivete, I didn't leave immediately but instead listed some options that didn't involve his condom-lessness.
He refused all of them and then tried to sneakily take off the condom without me noticing. That was my deal breaker (though in retrospect, it should have been much earlier) and I said, "I need to leave." I calmly dressed and collected my things while he climbed under his covers and pouted. I blocked his number as soon as I was in my car.
No More Drama
I actually did walk out. I was hooking up with this girl and she says something about her boyfriend while we are undressing each other and making out. I explain I don't need to be murdered in some cheating scenario. she explains its her EX bf so we are back on. Going at it for a few minutes and lining up for the landing when she says "I'm going to turn on my flip so I can send him a video".
Instant soft and I let myself out explaining I ain't getting shot.
It wasn't technically mid sex but I was newly single and trying to sex away my sorrows on tinder. After swiping for a while I linked with a chick and she was very forward and wanted to get down to business so I gave her my address to come over. She shows up with a baby... like probably 3 to 4 months old...
then proceeds to tell me she will set the baby up on the chair in the corner of the room while we do the deed. I had a microscopic studio apartment so she might as well have just wanted to place the baby on top of my head. Long story short I politely declined her services and deleted tinder.
Toilet TimeInterested Saturday Night Live GIF by HULUGiphy
I was going down on a former girlfriend years ago and I was really drunk, well the room started spinning and to the toilet I went. Poor girl thought it was her. I reassured her it was not, I just mixed to much alcohol.
YOU find a treadmill!!!
Yes, during sex my ex boyfriend grabbed my stomach fat and said I needed to get rid of it.
My ex had grabbed mine the next day saying he had been a bit concerned I'd be too heavy on top. I had actually lost about 40 pounds before then and had been feeling more confident. I still had about 30 pounds to lose to be within the BMI range of normal, but didn't feel that comment was warranted. He completely killed that little bit of self-confidence I had and our relationship because I wasn't going to allow myself to feel that bad again. That, and the sex sucked horribly anyway.
So what have we learned? That taking a CPR course and basic ambulatory medicine is necessary for sweet, sweet loving.
Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me and... everybody you can possibly think of. Why are we so timid do discuss this issue? It's really an American issue. The Europeans seem fine to openly share naughty details and run around naked in front of one another. But in America the topic is still taboo. That's why so many artists push so many boundaries with the topic, to spark discussion. And it's imperative that the discussion be fact-based. Too many schools are handing out information to students that will only cause more problems later. Abstinence is not the only answer and quite frankly, is unlikely. Time to spill facts.
Redditor u/bongzmcdongz was hoping we could all rationally discuss the actualities of the birds and bees by asking... People who had "Abstinence Only" sex education, what was the most outrageous or untrue thing you were told?
***The following material is sensitive but imperative. Those under 17 should have a parental chat!***
I myself attended Catholic school, and we never once discussed the carnal. In fact, when we inquired about Mary and her "Virgin" birth, we were immediately shut down with... because it's in the Bible. What else does one expect nuns to say? Now I did leave Catholic school after eighth grade, so I have no idea what they taught in high school, but it's probably safe to assume they mostly skim the actual facts. Maybe I'm wrong... let's see.
Something is Missingx factor what GIF Giphy
I was given a diagram of the female anatomy in which the clitoris had been erased-- as in someone went into MS paint and whited it out on a line drawing of the exterior of the vulva. The urethra, vagina, labia, anus were labelled, and then at the top of the labia, it was whited out.
the what is a WHAT?!
That the actual vagina opening is as small as the tip of a pencil. I also never knew women didn't pee from their vaginas until I was 16. I'm 19 now and learned more from crap-posts on the internet than I ever had in school.
"I also never knew women didn't pee from their vaginas until I was 16."
Actual quote from my 9th grade health class:
"If you have sex, chances are you won't get HIV. But, chances are you will."
Kissing is Grosscreep no GIF by Manny404 Giphy
Kissing gets you pregnant.
Same except the nuns told us that French kissing in a bathing suit would get you pregnant. Also, they said you shouldn't go on a date to a restaurant that uses white tablecloths because that looks like sheets which would make your date think of bed and you'd end up having sex.
Girls and boys had to go to different rooms during sex-Ed. The girls were told that "abstinence is the best option because sex is painful." The boys weren't told that.
I understand that sex can be painful for some people, but pretending sex isn't a source of pleasure at all for women is flat out wrong and depressing.
See, now how in the world is any of that considered education? Would you teach addition without using numbers? It's sex people. It's a part of the everyday cycle of life. Some of those responses are truly shocking. I would have laughed out loud even at a young age. It all sounds made up. Oh wait most of that was. Shall we continue?
"Dress" for the occasion...
My girlfriend's sex Ed program in middle school included a wedding dress that they splattered with red paint.
I'm assuming it symbolizes the blood of first sex, which, if is before marriage, taints the pureness of the ritual and thus ruins everything. TLDR sex bad don't screw before ring. Idiots.
For the Girls
We were shown a video where a lady said she could tell if a girl was a virgin just by looking into her eyes. The implication was that premarital sex causes your spirit to die so that you become just a shell with nothing to offer.
Edit to add: I'm sure you can guess that she didn't say the same applied for the boys, as if teenage girls are the only ones to blame for anyone having premarital sex.
At Once?Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers Giphy
Having sex with 1 person is like having sex with 100 people.
The instructor gave all the boys in the class chewing gum and let them chew on it for a few minutes. Then she asked them if any of them wanted to share. Of course none did. Then she asked if they didn't want to share gum, why would they want to share sex partners?
This was in a co-ed class so all the girls in the class got to see too.
We Pray ALOT!!golden girls blanche GIF by HULU Giphy
I was taught in school that self pleasure was also a sin. So as a young girl discovering her body, every time I masturbated, I'd cry because I thought I was going to hell.
I don't know how many times I prayed to God asking for forgiveness.
My dad pointed to a teenage couple hugging when i was a kid and told me thats how you get pregnant.
Months later at the fair my aunt put my 5 yr old cousin on the back of my horse and told him to wrap his arms around my waist to hold on. My heart sank. Later that day I shamefully told my dad that my 5 yr old cousin got me pregnant.
So I'm Irish and Catholic.
Growing up in Dublin we had church sanctioned sex education, some of the highlights:
-All penises are the same size when erect (we were 14 and this was hilarious to us)
-Being gay is just a phase
-No method of birth control is reliable (including oral sex and body rubbing).
Opposite story: I went to a Catholic high school. My Health teacher was a progressive. So she closed the door and said "Listen, ok, sure, masturbation is a sin or whatever, but it's actually fine. You gotta, you know, clean out the pipes once in a while. Now if your friends ask you to go to the movies and your answer is 'Sorry, gotta stay home and masturbate' probably step it back a bit."
Used UpBubble Gum GIF by Quavo Giphy
This woman once compared a teenage girl who's had premarital sex as chewed up bubble gum. She then switched the comparison to a pair of worn out shoes. Crap you not.
I was convinced that saliva was involved in the baby-making process. Not that you'd kiss someone and then boom pregnant, but that someone's saliva over time would make their baby look like you. The more saliva, the stronger the resemblance.
Long story short I spit in my cousin's drinks for a solid 2 months because I wanted her baby (she was pregnant at the time) to look like me (who was 8)
ETA: this was about 25 years ago, and also I'm a woman! That's how absolutely terrible my sex education was.
Um... Next Question
The teacher said that you can only really love one sexual partner and that's why it's so important that your spouse be your first and only partner. One of my classmates raised her hand and said, "My mom died when I was a baby and my dad's been married to my stepmom for ten years. Does that mean he only loves one of them?"
The teacher just looked uncomfortable and moved on to how premarital sex causes depression.
This is probably pretty tame, but Sophomore year our teacher told us using multiple condoms at a time increases its effectiveness.
I then asked my mom the same thing, and her whole job is to teach safe sex to youth.
Spoiler alert: do not layer condoms. It sounds good in practice, but you're actually weakening the condoms and wasting them.
Utah's sex ed policy was/is crap.
Wonder why...lucy liu film GIF Giphy
Went to public school and had real sex ed but had a history teacher who told us that sex before marriage is a sin, because every time you have sex you get pregnant.
And if a kid is born outside of wedlock they are going to hell and we will also go to hell for damning the baby's soul before it's even born. She said condoms and any other birth control is an insult to God and a way for atheists to try and outsmart him. She didn't work there after that year. Wonder why...
Condoms don't always work so it's better to not use them.
If you ejaculate on a girl (yes, "on") she will get pregnant. Regardless of if you had sex or not.
Boys get so horny sometimes they can't control themselves. So girls, it's up to you to remove temptation for the boys.
Birth control pills disrupt a girl's hormones so badly she will become barren.
Pieces of Me
That every time I (a girl) had sex I was giving away a part of my soul. So each sex partner whittled away bits of my soul. If I had sex before marriage my God-given husband would only get a tiny scrap instead of a full half and thus wouldn't be able to love me as much as he would if I'd waited? Honestly it's pretty confusing. This was taught in my Christian private school.
I can't with any of that. It's really shameful. We can't send kids out into the world misinformed. It will only lead to people learning in ways that are even more worrisome. And most parents don't seem comfortable enough to chat about it. Loosen up people. The future of generations is at stake. I'm not saying don't practice abstinence but let's explore all of the options as well. Sex. Say it. Do it. Safely.
Ok, admit it. Who amongst us hasn't had a few too many during a night out? Then, the morning after said night out... found ourselves in an "uncomfortable" position because of the company we open our lids to. Just like when you gotta go... you gotta go; so everyone once in awhile, when it's time to sleep, it's time to sleep. I have fallen off in the strangest places and woken amongst strangers in sexual and non-sexual ways. It's a miracle I'm alive. But when I'm tired, I'm out.Redditor u/zyht56 was dying to hear about the times we've woken up to find a surprise lying beside with us by asking... People that have woken up in bed with a stranger, what's your story?
"I should've thanked Paul Bunyon"
One of my most vivid wake up memories was after a long day of work, the gym, auditions and then an impromptu night out with friends. I left the bar at 330 am in Midtown Manhattan and got on the "A" train to Inwood (the top of the island). From what I remember I must've dozed off right after the train passed Central Park and went rolling into Harlem. When next I awoke the train was stationery at 207th street. As I was rising from my slumber I noticed I wasn't as uncomfortable as I had been in the past, when falling asleep on those hard plastic train seats.
When I finally opened my eyes, I was nestled with care on a strapping (and also intoxicated) gentlemen who could've been the Brawny guy. (Plaid, flannel shirt and all) I looked around, just us. I quietly untangled myself from him like a hidden lover running before the wife comes home. I stood, checked for all my belongings and left. I told the conductor to wake him and then headed home. I should've thanked Paul Bunyon. He was sweet... alas.
LostMusic Video Atm Miami Nights GIF by atmGiphy
I know a guy who went home with a stranger. Went pee in the middle of the night naked. Went back to bed. Woke up to screaming. He had gone back to the wrong room and was naked in her mother's bed.
Not exactly the answer to the question, but my dad told me something scary after his stroke. Because he couldn't feel one side of his body, he would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night and think a stranger had broken in and was laying next to him. He would have to calm down and remember that he'd had a major stroke and didn't immediately realize that the person he thought was laying next to him was he himself.
Was in college, went out too hard on a Thursday night because I had no class the next day. Woke up in my own room to a girl standing there getting dressed. I was dumbfounded, she super casually put on her jacket, said "I have to get to class" and left before I could even get a word out.
I NEVER saw her again. Tried to ask friends who I came home with, everyone said I just disappeared. Her face is burned into my mind and now, 5 years later, I have no clue what happened or who I spent the night with.
No Good DeedJump Stepping GIF by Bayerischer RundfunkGiphy
Got really drunk at a dorm party. Ended up carrying a passed out girl up to her room (3 flights of stairs, elevator was out). Plunked her in her bed, took her shoes off. Then passed out on her floor.
She woke me up by stepping on me and yelling at me. I was too hung over to argue and just left.
Love you Bro
One time at my cousin's house party I was absolutely out of social energy and went to a room to go to sleep and I woke up in the middle of the night with two of the most jacked dudes I've ever seen curled up together next to me and a unit of a bulldog sleeping in between me and the dudes.
One of the guys saw me wake up and he asked if it was cool to sleep there and I said that I didn't mind but he should let me have some of the blanket because it was freaking freezing. He said "no problem bro" and then tucked me in like some mother hen and then said "goodnight bro". Crap was the most strange/wholesome thing I've ever experienced.
See when a comfy bed is calling all you can do is fall prey to its clutches. Now we really need to be a bit more discerning about who is that bed with us. It's only the safe and ethical thing to do. And if we are the one's concerned about who a stranger is remember... 911!! For example...
Would you like fries with that?
Not woke up with one but came home from primary school around 11 years of age. To find a complete stranger in my bed. Being completely naive thinking he was a family friend. I made us both sandwiches to give to him, I returned to my room to find him gone. I now look back at this with complete horror. My family finds it amusing that it took me years to tell my family about it.
Kudos to Dad
Probably not what you imagined.
As a kid, I would sleep walk at night. In the morning, I would have no recollection of what happened.
I spent the night at a friends house when I was about 10, and the family had a fire going in the fireplace in their living room. My friend's mom decided to sleep on the couch to make sure the fire went out, and the dad went to sleep in the parents bedroom. Due to the door to their bedroom always being closed, I had never been inside...
...which was very, very disorienting the next morning when I awoke in said bedroom, as the dad was just waking up and getting out of his bed. He had assumed during the night I was his son, and didn't question anything when i slipped into bed with him.
Kudos to Dad for not making it anymore awkward than it already was.
And that's the story of how I awoke next to my friend's dad.
When I had my son, I couldn't sleep. I told my doctor I hadn't slept a full night in 13 months. Most nights I was getting only an hour or two and I couldn't sleep during the day. I'd try to nap, but I'd just stare at the ceiling.
My doctor prescribed me Ambien.
The first night I took it and went to bed. Sometime during the night, my husband brought the baby into our bed.
I woke up to find a baby covered in rainbows and tiny little gnomes.
Me: "Honey! Honey, wake up. There's a baby in our bed."
Husband: "I know. You're going to wake him up."
Me: "Do his parents know he's here?"
Husband: "His dad does. Go to sleep."
Was a female in my mid 20's and fell asleep in a 60+ man's hotel bed after a night of drinking in restaurant across from said hotel. What could have been a recipe for disaster turned into him saying 'if I ever had a daughter I hope she'd be just like you. I called ya a cab and here's your wallet. Be safe now.'
In the chair...Season 2 Relax GIF by FriendsGiphy
Away at college. Went to a bar, met a girl.
I woke up the next morning in an on campus apartment sharing a recliner with said girl.
Neither of us lived on campus or knew who lived in the apartment we ended up at.
Well at least we've all been there, or a large enough amount of us as to not feel foolish. Things to remember...
1- Get a name...
2- Get details of when, where and how...
3- KNOW WHERE ALL THE EXITS ARE!!!