For a lot of people intimacy and sex are so connected that you can't separate one from the other. This article isn't about those people - though they might find it to be an interesting read.
Reddit user tb1649 asked:
What is the most intimate, non-sex thing you do with your partner?
People's responses were honestly fascinating, sweet, and sometimes a little heartbreaking. "Intimate" clearly means very different things to different people.
Peach Time
He likes to call me different nicknames, one of them being "peach." So, whenever he wants to cuddle, he says "peach time?" and we cuddle and just lay there together. It's honestly one of my favorite things in the world.
He Doesn't Do Verbal Affection
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He plays love songs on the piano while I stand behind him kissing the back of his head. I almost cry sometimes.
He's autistic and doesn't do verbal affection, but he finds ways to show me that he loves me.
Scratch
I scratch his back and head. He was telling me how his mom would scratch his back and it is a very intimate thing for him. His grandma would scratch his head until he fell asleep.
Ever since he told me that, I've been trying my best to stay awake long enough that he falls asleep from head scratches too, as he has trouble falling asleep. Last night I finally held out long enough. I could hear his breathing change and his body relax and felt him fall asleep under my hand and I don't know why, but I was the happiest in the world because I could do something for him like that - someone I really care about. He told me I was amazing and I just melted. I hope to do it more often.
- phenli
Caregiver
I dunno if this counts but I got my husband through his fight with Hodgkin's Lyphoma and his relapse a year later. It was just him and me, we have a small support system and none of them live locally.
The relapse meant a bone marrow transplant. It. Is. No. Joke. Literally brings you to the brink of death and back.
My husband is a 6 foot strong Scottish man and when we were in the thick of it I had to push him in a wheelchair at the hospital cause getting from the car to the door was all he could do. He looked nothing like himself either, hairless, pale. I was bathing, dressing, feeding him, managing his many medications (and the side effects -violent vomiting) and getting him to and from the hospital on a daily basis.
I have a very clear memory of helping him get into new pj's one morning and thinking "I knew I might have to care for him like this....but I also thought it would be in my 70's, not at the ripe old age of 34...."
Being a caregiver for your loved one in and of itself is a crazy intimate experience, you see someone at their absolute worst/weakest and somehow you find new strength in yourself at the same time.
That ordeal changed us, obviously. We definitely have had a new level of intimacy since. It's bonded us in a way that I can't put into words.
Maximum Security
When he wraps himself around me tightly while cuddling/spooning, and calls it "maximum security"
If I'm feeling sad, he'll tease me and be like "Aw does someone need maximum security?" It's very sweet.
Quietly Concentrate
My boyfriend draws and sometimes he draws me naked. Granted, it's a prelude to sex some times but not all the time. It's super intimate, watching him quietly concentrate and do his work while sort of examining parts of me.
I used to be super self conscious, so just laying there and being out in the open is sort of freeing. Just feels close.
My Last Moments
I think the most intimate thing happened during my second son's birth a few months ago. I had given birth quickly and easily, but then began hemorrhaging. They stood me up to go to the bathroom and blood began pooling down my legs and feet. Immediately back in bed, giving me shots and meds to try to stop it but it wouldn't. The nurses were scared and a team ran in.
My husband laid the baby down and held my hand- I was terrified I was dying and leaving them. I just kept looking into his eyes and telling him I was so scared, and he stayed calm and smiled and reassured me.
I'm so lucky- they found a piece of retained placenta and were able to give me a second epidural and manually remove it. But I ended up losing almost 800 ml of blood. I really thought those could be my last moments, and I just locked eyes with him, trying to communicate everything I needed him to know about our family and my sons- but too scared to say any of it out loud.
It was the most intimate moment of my life.
A Stomach Bug
Taking care of me when I was sick. We've been together for about a year and don't live together. I had to cancel plans because I had the stomach bug (diarrhea and throwing up) and he came over and took care of me. Any man that can witness his girl sitting on the toilet and head in a trash can and still want to cuddle you and love on you is a keeper.
Eye Contact
There's always a few moments before we fall asleep where we'll just lay together, making eye contact. That may sound strange but it always feels super intimate and in a way that nothing needs to be said out loud. You're just sharing this moment and know that there's nowhere else you'd rather be.
Star Wars
Although I'm good at sleeping long nights I have trouble actually falling asleep. We'll cuddle and with his big voice he'll invent a story so that I can doze off to his soft bass-like golden sound.
Once, he summarized Star Wars episodes 1 to 3 since I hadn't seen them and expressed how much they sucked compared to the rest. It was amazing.
Any Knot He Wants
We wrestle and play fight...I know it's weird but it's so fun. Plus he was an NCAA wrestler and has his purple belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu so he can twist me in any knot he wants and it's oddly satisfying to be under his complete control - but it's actually not sexual.
Haircare
I recently started helping my partner trim his beard. It felt really intimate.
I'm African, he's Middle Eastern. It took me a while but I eventually let him help with taking out my cornrows when I change hairstyles, and helping me wash/condition my hair. That's pretty intimate to me.
Cooties
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When we're in bed together, she sometimes steals a kiss on my cheek and I go : "Ewww cooties!" I wait a few seconds and whisper: "psst... Pretty girl? I like you"
She giggles and says : "I like you too"
"You wanna go steady?"
"Yeh"
Then we hold hands till we fall asleep.
I'm 40M she's 38F, we have 2 kids.
So Fragile
Before I had back surgery a few years ago, the pain was intense I couldn't get out of bed. My husband had to carry me to the bathtub and wash me and my hair.
I felt so fragile. That was probably the most intimate non-sexual thing I've experienced.
The Big Red Couch
I can tell you what it used to be, before our divorce.
Whatever we did that day, be it adventuring or swimming or just hanging out, our evenings always ended on our big red couch. I would be on the far right side, against the arm, because I liked getting into the corner. She liked having room to stretch out, so she got the middle and left side. I'd throw our old fleece over the both of us and put something on the TV.
Sometimes we'd watch, sometimes we would chat and sorta-watch, but it always ended with her breathing slowing down, while falling asleep, with her head on my left shoulder. It was a comforting thing for her, in terms of physical position and closeness, feeling safe. It was a comforting thing for me, to know I had someone who wanted to be close to me, and was still comfortable.
The first time I sat down on that red couch after she moved out, in my usual spot, was out of reflex. A handful of seconds went by—I realized I could never sit there again and feel good about myself, or my life. The coldness of the leather, the emptiness of the space, was too much. I got up and rearranged the furniture on the spot, once I stopped sobbing like an infant.
Not sure if y'all can tell, but I miss her.
Anyway, that's what it was.
Full Body Bear Hug
My dad is super jacked and I used to run at him full speed and jump in a full-body bear hug, and my dad would catch me.
Now with my husband, I'll catch his attention and give him the look and he'll squat and prepare, and then I run at him and jump and give him the big full-body bear hug. Complete with my face buried in his neck, kissing away.
Sappy - Not Sorry
We just had a newborn six weeks ago and aren't ready to have sex yet. Every night before I got to bed after the baby is first asleep I lay with my head on his lap and we watch Bob Ross because it calms me down. When I start to fall asleep I go to bed and he stays up to wait for the baby to stir so he can change her and bring her to me for a midnight feeding.
In the morning I am up before him and clean the dishes (he usually does all of the cooking and I'm too tired to clean at night) and read for an hour before the baby gets up. After I change and feed her I bring her to him for morning snuggles and tummy time.
I love this little routine and it keeps us feeling close and reminds me that sex and making love are very different things. You can make love without ever even taking your clothes off. Sappy. Sorry not sorry.
I Now Need Help
I had a stroke in March and have lost the majority of use of my left side. It's mostly just there for symmetry these days. I also have Fibromyalgia which is pretty debilitating. I now need help bathing and he bathes me. I've always been very independent and admitting I need that help was hard. The first time he bathed me, he was so gentle, thoughtful, and loving that it was so beautiful I cried. My husband is just amazing.
Team Building
I know it sounds stupid but we bathe our dog together... like we take him to this self serve dog wash and he's big and hates bathes so one of us wrestles him and the other bathes, and it's actually an amazing team building activity.
Being Held Tenderly
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She holds me when I cry.
I grew up in an abusive and negligent family. Naturally I suffer crippling depression and anxiety. Currently going to therapy and sometimes we dig deep into the trauma. It feels like I'm being torn from the inside. There's nothing to do but feel the grief, let it pass through me. Never have I been more raw and vulnerable than in those moments.
Being held tenderly while I'm ugly crying, sobbing, even wailing is love at its best.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.