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People Who Met Their Significant Other After 35 Share Their Experiences

It can be easy to lose faith trying to find love as time passes. We're tricked into thinking you're required to meet someone then marry young, that they're the only happy stories worth telling. In reality, the older you are the bigger the lead you possess over your younger counterparts because you've had experience. Wisdom. Growth. You know what you want and what your time is worth.

Romance is only meant for the young? Please.

Reddit user, u/arcedup, wanted to hear the amazing tales when they asked:

[serious] People who met their long-term romantic partners when they were over the age of 35, could you tell us about how you met them and how the relationship developed?

Happens When You Least Expect It

I came from a domestic violence background. Divorced my husband of nearly 20 years back in 2003. I was in my mid 40s at the time. The state we lived in revoked his parent rights because of DV and I ended up with full custody of my 2 daughters with permission to relocate out of the state. Left in early summer 2005 without saying goodbye for obvious reasons & moved 1600 miles away to New England and he never knew where we went. I rebuilt our lives over again from scratch, as we couldn't bring anything with us - just what few belongings we could pack in our car to make the trip to NE.

I was a single parent & alone for the first 14 years I lived up here in New England, but didn't mind it at all. New England Rocks! Totally love this place - it's home - like REALLY home. Super nice people, very kind - though mostly quiet - unless you're visiting Boston, LOL!

In Nov. 2018, when I was 57, I went to a local small live music venue - not looking to meet anyone in going. Just went by myself to enjoy the music - great live jam band on stage. When I walked into the venue, this guy at the bar looked at me and it was like he did a double-take. I remember thinking it was odd at the time, but thought: "Hey, probably just my imagination." Walked up to the bar to get a drink and he strikes up a conversation with me. We chatted & danced the entire evening. When the band finally packed it in around midnight, he gave me his business card with his cell phone on it, but didn't ask me for my contact information - just totally left it up to me to decide whether to contact him or not. Plus his business card with his name on it gave me the ability to check if this guy really was who he said he was. (He was!)

The next morning I decided I'd enjoyed myself and felt comfortable texting him back, thanking him for the fun I'd had the previous evening. He responded in kind and asked me out to dinner for that following evening. I said yes.

We've been together since. Having a blast with this guy! We both just really clicked. Sometimes, it happens when you least expect it.


Ha! True "Digital Love."

After six years as a non-dating single mom, I went on I emailed a few guys and went out on one date with four of them. Met the last guy at a coffee shop. He compared kids to hidden co-processes running on a computer that will eventually crash your system unless you restore your RAM in the form of coffee.

I kinda fell in love right there.


"How old is he?"

I had been married for 27 years when my husband unexpectedly passed away. Took a while to get back on my feet and get adjusted and content with my new normal. Had lots of good friends, a good job, great dog, and a beautiful home.

And then I went to the Holiday Party at my fathers nursing home. My dad and I sat with one of his fellows residents and her son who was so funny, attentive and charming, he was married, but I thought I'd like to meet someone like that.

During the entertainment, a residents daughter came up to me and said that there was a guy who wanted to meet me, So I agreed to meet him. First thing he did was introduce me to his mom and show me a picture of his daughter and new granddaughter.

Gave him my number and he actually called a couple of days later. That was 8 years ago. He's funny attentive and charming, Still together.

When I called my kids, or any friends to tell them I met someone I liked at the nursing home Holiday Party, with out fail, there would be a pause and then everyone asked the same question, "how old is he?"


You Already Know What You Want

I met my current wife when I was 36.

I'd been divorced since I was 33.. single dad with a daughter. Moved back in with my parents to kind of get back on my feet. About a year later, my dad passed away.. so I stayed there a bit longer than I probably would have otherwise so my mom and I could be there to support each other.

It was hard to find someone to date seriously. I had no interest in having any more kids, but many of the women I met either had kids and wanted more, or hadn't started a family and wanted to start their own family at 35+. I also met my fair share who didn't want to date someone who already had kids or who lived with their parents.. or both.

I decided to try online dating and met my now-wife on OkCupid. According to their metrics, we were actually the most compatible people for each other in the whole country.. and we only lived about a 20-minute drive from each other!

She was totally opposed to the idea of online dating and, really, the only reason she had a dating profile was because her coworker had created one for her to "get back into the dating scene". I met her after her deciding to finally take the site seriously for a few days. I guess the timing was perfect for that!

Well, we chatted online and on the phone for about a month, we had a lot in common but also a lot of different interests. She had kids too. Neither of us wanted more. Perfect!

I work evening shift so our first date was actually a lunch date. We met at Panera during her lunch break, but really hit it off.. so I took off Friday night from work and we went on a "proper" date. To this day, both of us still say it was the best date that either of us had ever been on in our lives.

We've spent most days together since then.

She had always maintained that she had no interest in ever getting married and never did.. but apparently I was special. :) We've been together for 8 years and married 4. Still going strong!


Bonded Through The Land Of Westeros

I'm 51 now and I was married for 13 years to a wonderful woman and we had a 10 year old daughter together. We live two houses down from her mother and step-father (we bought them a giant wooden spoon and fork for the wall even ala "Everybody Loves Raymond") and they were a huge part of our lives and the life of my daughter.

My wife struggled with acute pancreatitis since before we met but the attacks slowly became more frequent and more intense. We went to specialists, we went to the Mayo Clinic out of state, and every test came back negative. She gradually got sicker. Our lives slowed down and became a daily question of, "Can we do anything tonight or is she in too much pain?" On Mother's Day weekend in 2017 she had her last attack and she passed away from complications from the pancreatitis on the morning of Mother's Day. (Hereafter referred to as "Megan's Day")

Slowly we put our lives back together. My in-laws helped out immensely and we worked together to support each other and my daughter. I tried dating a couple of times but I wasn't in a good place for it mentally. I decided to just focus on myself and my daughter and moved on. I wasn't going to "settle" for someone who wasn't right for both of us and just kind of went about my life for a bit.

Last year I started noticing this woman in a Facebook group. My late wife had been my "Game of Thrones" co-pilot and with the final season coming out, I was bummed to not have anyone to share it with. I noticed that this woman also watched GoT and was going to re-watch the series before the final season came out and I asked if she'd want to watch it "together". She lived 1,000 miles away but we agreed to try. We'd get it set up and then count down together (I'd say 3, she'd say 2, I'd say one, then we'd both say "GO" and hit play) and send snarky comments back and forth. When the season started we graduated from messenger to phone calls and kept watching together and we'd keep talking in text afterwards.

Soon we were talking every night, until after midnight and all during the day. About everything. She's gorgeous and nerdy and she was also in a place where she was never going to "settle" for someone again. We fell in love over the phone before we'd ever met and it's been the most amazing relationship of my life. We got married last September and she moved here with her youngest son in October and we're making a new family together.


Something New Slowly Turning Into Something Grand

Having been suddenly widowed in my early 40s, dating again was not something I had envisioned in my life. My late husband and I had been together for 20 years and wow is dating now different than [it] was then! I spent a few years thinking it wasn't going to happen - who would want a 40+ year old woman with 2 kids and a dead husband? That's a lot of baggage, but to anyone else out there solo parenting, let me tell you it's possible. I met my boyfriend on the apps and we've been together for close to 18 months now.

I realize this may not (yet) be the long term relationship asked about in the post, but I just wanted to give hope to others like me. I am with one of the kindest, most thoughtful men I've ever met. He loves me and my kids and we're doing well! He is not threatened by my late husband's memory or the fact that I will grieve him for the rest of my life. He understands that is part of what makes me, me. We don't live together, so we haven't been able to actually be together (except a few distanced drop offs) in over 7w due to Covid and that really sucks bc I miss him.


Never Say Never...

Not quite 35, but around then.

I'd just gone through a truly hellish breakup. I did not think I would be able to trust another human behind again and was genuinely comfortable with the idea of never being in another romantic relationship.

Then there was this woman in my building who just seemed to materialize out of nowhere. One day she moved in and became a constant presence. I started noticing her all the time, in the building, local stores, it was like when she was in a room her presence alone drowned out all the other people. She was totally impossible to ignore. I know this sounds cliche, but there really was just something about her.

So I decided just because I wouldn't ever have another romantic relationship didn't mean I couldn't have female friends, so I got to know her. I waited for an opportunity to introduce myself, when she was moving something heavy up to her place.

We became fast friends. There was obvious attraction on both sides but I fought it at every turn because I was so determined to never hurt like I had been hurt in my previous relationship. We talked about it on and off but I always hid behind "relationships end, friendships are forever, and I want you in my life forever." She was definitely frustrated, but eventually she stopped pushing it and started dating other guys.

Then after a long while of being very, very close friends, I got sick. Not cold or flu sick, very seriously hospital sick. She completely stepped up to the plate without my even asking her to. She helped me coordinate my leave of absence from work. She helped me find specialist doctors. She took over the cooking of meals and made sure my apartment didn't fall into total disarray. She listened to me when I was scared, and she gave me space when I needed to be alone.

It was around then that I realized I had a real life partner on my hands, and I could risk being hurt by entering into a relationship, or I could guarantee hurting myself by allowing fear to deprive me of sharing life with this woman.

We are now are over a decade happily married.


Experience Means Knowing What You Want

Was a single dad for upwards of 10 years, mostly raising the kids on my own. Didn't date much in the early years because I was focused on home life and work.

Dating in my 50s with teenage kids in the house was difficult because most of the women in my age demographic were already done with raising children and weren't keen to return to it.

I was facing the possibility that I may not find someone when I met a lady near my age with a [son] who was a few years younger than my youngest.

A good thing about dating when you're older is you have a lot of time to reflect on who you are and what you want in a SO. Sue checked all the boxes - intelligent, shared values, integrity, honesty. And beautiful to boot. We dated extensively, did weekend outings when schedules allowed. Made time to spend together to know this was the choice we wanted to make.

In 2018 we sold our respective houses and bought a new one together, where we live with our 3 kids (2 in Uni, one in high school). We were married on my 60th birthday.


A Complete Surprise

I met my wife at work. Falling in love with her was a complete surprise.

The prior year, I ended an engagement with a woman I dated for several years. That's another story. It's enough to say that at that point in my life I decided a bachelor life would be great. I was enjoying dating, no commitments, etc.

My wife and I didn't cross paths at work. But, one day, she stopped by my office. I can still see her standing in the doorway, chatting with me. After she left, I thought . . . "That was interesting. What's going on there?"

A few months later, we were at a company retreat and there was a band playing after dinner. I worked up the nerve to ask her to dance (up to that point everyone was dancing in a group). Funny thing, I waited so long that the song was "Last Dance" by Donna Summer and it was . . the last dance of the night. We always laugh when we hear the song.

She didn't match the description of who I was looking for in a partner and I was terrified of commitment. But, I am delighted that she stuck with me while I figured out "my stuff." It's still strange to me how much she complements my blind spots. I guess the relationship developed because we treat each other with respect and we talk about everything.

I love her more today than ever.

Thanks for asking.


The Beauty Of Online Connections

I was 39, he was 43. We met by chance online. We lived far from each other, in two very different parts of the world. Cut to 18 months later, after a few visits to each other's homeland, we decide to make a life together. A visa is granted and away I move, across the world, to be with him. We are now married. A modern romance :)


Meeting In The Most Obscure Places

I was 33, he was almost 34...We met at a renaissance Faire. I was dressed up, he was not. It was the first time I had ever been to a renaissance Faire, and he hadn't been since he was a kid. We got to chatting, and at some point I took a picture of him and his friend, he asked me to send it to him (very sly way off getting my number). He texted a few days later, we went on our first date a week later, and now we've been together for almost 8 years!

I will say that this relationship was different, in that he didn't play games. He answered texts and calls right away, but wasn't needy or clingy. It was refreshing after dating guys in their 20s that were always being shady, and making me feel like I was crazy. (Turns out those shady 20 year olds were cheaters, so I wasn't crazy)


Twitter Actually Did Something Good!

My husband and I were 33 and 40, respectively, when a cat introduced us on Twitter. My husband had a Twitter account for his cat, Stripe, that was cute and clever. From Stripe's tweets, I determined that his owner was male, and because he ordered takeout a lot, probably single. So one day I asked Stripe if his human was as cute as he was. My now husband introduced himself on his own account, and he was!

I was in Texas, and he was in Ohio. We were Twitter friends for awhile, but I was crushing hard. He never took my hints, so I just came out and told him how I felt. He said he had lots of vacation time and could visit if I was serious. We decided to talk on the phone that night, both agreeing that it would probably only last five minutes. We talked for five hours. I messaged a friend to start looking for bridesmaids dresses, because I was going to marry this man. A year and a half and three visits later, I did! We've been married for seven years now.


You Keep At It And Never Give Up

I was a single father for many years. Ex and I split when my kids were 4 and 2. Relationship was toxic and I left it after years of emotional abuse.

It seemed that almost every woman either wouldn't date me because I had kids already (and couldn't have more) or wanted to date me because they thought they could 'save' me and help me with my kids. It was very frustrating and honestly stopped trying.

Then went to a wedding. A woman asked if I wanted to dance. I was drunk so I did. Thanked her for the dance and enjoyed the rest of the evening. Wedding shut down and getting ready to leave and I see her sitting alone at a table. Not sure why, but something drove me to go talk to her. We chatted for a few minutes then decided to go down the street to a coffee shop to talk more. We talked for a couple hours. She was a relative of one of the people who got married, in from out of town for the wedding. I was friends with the other person who got married. Turns out we were both going to the day after party the next day. So after talking for hours, we said we would see each other tomorrow.

Got to the day after party the next morning and I had my kids with me. She had her daughter with her. The kids were roughly the same age and got to playing with each other. We talked more as it seemed the rest of the party was nothing but background noise. She was staying at a hotel close by and asked if my kids would like to go swimming later that afternoon. My kids enthusiastically say yes, so yes it was. We are poolside watching all the kids playing and knowing they were going back home the next day I asked if her and her daughter wanted to join me and my kids for dinner at a nearby restaurant. They said yes and we all went for dinner.

After dinner we all went to our respective places, but not before exchanging phone numbers. It seemed like a polite jesture on both our parts as she lived 2000 kms away.

She was catching an early flight the next day and I was awakened to her calling me to say goodbye. We talked for a bit and before she had to board I told her to call me when she got home. She did and we spoke twice a day for weeks. I wasn't sure what this all was, but I knew I looked forward to us talking daily.

During those weeks, a friend of a friend whom I had been social with asked me out on a date. I turned her down as I felt it would be cheating on my phone friend. It was at that point I realized I felt more for her than I realized. I kept that inside as to me it was insane that I was falling for someone I had only met in person for a total of about 12 hours. We continued to talk on the phone and one day she said she was thinking of moving to the city I lived in. She felt the same about me and she wanted to see if there was a relationship there. And she rationalized that her moving to where I was would be easier as her ex lived a few hours away and it would be easier for him to see his daughter.

Well she moved up here and got her own place. We started 'dating'. Months later we moved in together. Years later we got married. A decade later we are still together and love each and every day.


Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "🤐" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.