If there's one thing that parents won't admit, it's the fact that they may have regretted having children. Whether it was for personal preference, financial reasons, or anything in between, they finally were able to confess to Reddit their true thoughts.
One Redditor jaytoles asked:
People who regret having kids: why?
Protecting them from trauma.
"It fills me with fear and worry about their future. It's like having your heart outside of your body. I don't want to live but I have to for their sake, and I know there's so much out there I can't protect them from."
"I don't personally regret having a kid at all, but I completely understand that first sentiment."
"I was mercilessly bullied in grade school, and when she started school it didn't even cross my mind that it would happen to her because she's so sweet and happy and fun and friendly."
"Then I went to my first father daughter dance with her, she was in KINDERGARTEN and I watched a few of the slightly older girls (same grade) just absolutely treat her awful. On a night that was so much fun I had my heart break in two.
"Since then she'll come home every so often and tell me something, we'll try to work with her or her teacher to get it fixed but every day as I kiss her on the forehead before she goes to school I silently pray that she won't get the same treatment I got.
Can't just chill out anymore.
Giphy
"Life is much easier without them. I love my kids...but there are definitely days I question our decision to have them. Mine are both around age 5 (boys), and they're just so hyper - as I type this, they're arguing in the backseat because one of them wants quiet time and the other wants to sing (don't worry, I'm not the driver.) You're constantly either correcting someone, listening to shrieking (sometimes happy, sometimes not), whining, arguing, needing to get up to get them stuff or play with them or teach them, etc."
"It just requires constant attention, and that wears me down more than I had anticipated. Your downtime to watch TV and just chill out and not think about anything? Gone for many years, along with the ability to be spontaneous. Want to eat out? Have to find a kid appropriate place, make sure you have some crayons or something to keep them quietly occupied, and you'll spend most of dinner working on building their restaurant manners. Life is just a whole lot more tiring."
"(I realize this response sounds like I hate my kids. I don't. Like all parts of life, there are ups and downs. But I do feel like society, especially people deciding if they want kids, would benefit from more people being willing to talk about the hard parts.)"
It can be draining.
"I can't say I "regret" having had kids, but I often think my life would be better had I not. Parenting is difficult under the best circumstances, but it's a roll of the dice. If you have a child with medical or developmental problems it is a tremendous drain. I feel like I've aged about 20 years in the last 5, like I'm just a ghost of my former self."
This is a tough one.
"I don´t have kids yet, but I know someone who regrets having kids; my mother."
"They (my mom and my father) wanted two daughters, but after multiple failed attempts, they settled with having just one daughter. They were all fine with having just one kid. Dad´s condom got broken, I was born as a male, not as female, dad started feeling overwhelmed, started dating his current wife when I was 4, my parents got divorced, 14 years passed, and here we are."
"My parents care only about my sister. Dad only talks to her. My mom told me on multiple occasions, ever since I was 6, that she hates me. I was hugged by my dad only once in my entire life. My mom hugged me only three of four times in my entire life. I was the reason my parents got divorced. Ever since I was born my dad was cheating on my mom with multiple women (one of them got kicked out of his work due to their relationship interfering with their work). She keeps telling me that she regrets having me and that she should have went for an abortion. Even during the divorce process, they were haggling over my sister, but when I was discussed in court, not one of them wanted me, so the court assigned me to my mom´s custody, along with my sister."
"She even suggested joint custody, which worked for about a year, until my father couldn´t bear having me every other week and watching me (he truly didn´t care a single bit about me and hated me). My sister rarely went to visit my father, only about once or twice for one night every month. This worked for about a year until my mother was able to ask for higher alimonies, which required her to have full custody of me and my sister. And, since my father had the short end of the stick and only one lawyer, my mom won."
"As for my sister; After all of this, my sister turned out to be a pretty awful person. Selfish, spoiled brat that went to study for a lawyer. Without our grandma´s connections and friends, she wouldn't get a single thing she has in her life. On top of that, she committed some crimes, which forced her ex-boyfriend to escape the country. She emotionally manipulates everyone so that they do what she wants. So yes, she is possibly the worst person in our family."
"Now I´m living with my mom. I´m 19 and in university, studying to become teacher of English language and ethics. I want to move away from this town and be a teacher somewhere else where me and my girlfriend can get a decent job. I want to be a good father to my children and good teacher for my future students."
"I don´t want anyone to go through what I went through. When I will have the means to do so, I will be cutting ties with my family, and possibly even changing my last name. I don´t want my children to know anyone from my family, because I don´t want them to be influenced by their toxic personalities."
Don't have kids if you like to sleep.
Giphy
"I don't regret the kids I have, but I do regret not waiting until we were a little older and more settled to start having kids. I feel we struggle much more financially that we might have if we had waited."
"Our youngest is 3 and we haven't slept more than a dozen nights in his life. So if you are particularly invested in sleeping through the night, don't have kids."
Nothing but worry.
"I'm a parent that mostly doesn't regret, but there's a constant stress. Money concerns are not fun, but there's a lot of other stuff too. Toddlers can choke or get kidnapped New drivers can die in a crash (happened a couple times at my high school). Teenage pregnancies. Seems like there's always something to worry about."
Is it immoral?
"I sometimes feel guilty about the world I have brought them into, and wonder about whether having kids in general (bringing innocents into a world where they will definitely suffer) isn't immoral."
Again, DON'T have kids if you like sleep.
Giphy
"It's just easier without them. On the rare occasions my kids are on sleep overs a single evening can seem like a six week summer break due to not having issues with dinner, getting ready for bed and going to bed."
"My youngest has night terrors so I think in the last decade or so, even after the baby crying in the night stage, we've had maybe twenty or thirty nights of unbroken sleep. It's just crazy the amount of time, money and energy you put into raising kids."
Valid.
"Extreme poverty. And not very much hope of escaping the poverty. Child support can be a real b*tch."
Wow.
"Not me but my Mom once told me she considered aborting her first child (my older brother) and not having me or my younger sisters after that. She says that her life would have been WAY different, she could've graduated college and got a good job. But she still loves us and can't imagine her life without us now."
That's a good idea.
Giphy
"I regret my mother having kids - not only because I wish I didn't exist but because she wasn't ready. I'm not sure she ever would have been. Don't get me wrong, I love her and I know she loves us with all her heart, but she just had us because she got pregnant and she just got lucky that none of us have any expensive physical needs that she would have been entirely too poor to deal with as a single mother. She also has never been aware of things like depression or anger issues and so she can't recognise them at all, particularly in my horribly spoiled and violent younger sister."
"I think a lot of eldest daughters feel this was but I feel like the second parent or her emotional support daughter or something. I'm always dragged in to help mother the others and play the bad cop because she can't be strict. As much as I love her, she's the reason I think there should be a course every parent should have to take before having a child. Some people just are not emotionally intelligent enough and just winging it can have some serious side effects on your kid."
"Also just a side note because I sound very judgemental for someone without kids - I'd be a terrible mother so my tubes are getting tied."
Ups and downs.
"I don't regret it per se, however I was pregnant with my first child when I was 19 (36 now) so I've lived my entire adult life being a parent. I've missed out on a lot and they've missed out on a lot with me not being ready and wise enough to be a good parent. It's very exhausting and tiring. I used to spend a lot of time regretting having children, but I feel like I'm on the home stretch now. Almost."
"Having said all of this, I adore my kids with my all my heart and I have a super special relationship with my youngest. All in all I say parenting is like an elevator. It has its ups and downs."
Fair point.
"It's like having a pet."
"Except you have to feed, cloth, nurture, medicate, educate, enlighten, entertain, and always be there for them."
"In short, it's a full time job that requires zero qualifications, the pay is potentially amazing and potentially horrible, and if you f**k up badly enough you're going to jail."
Say goodbye to sleep.
Giphy
"Parenting is a pain in the a**."
"Anybody would tell you that I am a great dad and I love and care for my kid to no end."
"But I absolutely am not having another one. They have a way of making your life about them. There are no days off."
"I remember a time my wife and I could just leave at 3 in the morning to grab a snack. Not anymore."
"We could fly to a different country without having to stay up on the whole plane ride with the kid. Have you ever had jetlag? That is some serious sleep and imagine not being able to get that sleep because your toddler is up and ready to go."
"They are demanding. They need all your attention. They are expensive."
"They are also cute and show you love and affection like nobody else. They are forgiving and often easily happy."
"But I just know that I am not cut out for it. The one I have, I'll give him the world. But I am not having any more."
That's so sad.
"There was a comment down below that reminded me of this story, but I feel it was inappropriate to respond directly to that comment because it would come across as insensitive. So here it is."
"There was a guy in the neighborhood growing up. Nice neighborhood, probably a nice family. I didn't know them personally. But their house was on one of two main ways out of the neighborhood so we were always driving past. Apparently this guy really, really, really wanted a son. He didn't get one, he got three daughters instead. And apparently they were really girly daughters, as in none of them wanted to play basketball, softball, or any other sports. So this guy put up a basketball goal anyway. He was always out there shooting hoops by himself. It seems kind of sad."
This is more than a valid decision. Kids are a lot of work and not for everyone.
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
Giphy
"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Giphy
"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
Giphy
"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
Giphy
"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
