Growing up is hard, but so is still feeling like you're in the dark about things you should already know as an adult.
Here's a secret: We're all just trying to get by. I used to marvel at the adults around me and wonder how they managed to figure it all out. They actually never did! Shocking!
Today's burning question comes from Redditor TotallyNotAPlant, who asked the online community: "As children, we were often told "you'll understand when you're older." What's something that, even now that you're older, you still don't understand?"
There's a lot, okay? A lot.
"Why I was told..."
Why I was told I had to remain loyal to my family. They aren't good for me and I'm not good when I'm enabling them soooo... why?
"I questioned it."
Physical discipline. I was "spanked" a lot growing up, and I never understood it. I wasn't allowed to hit anyone, adults weren't allowed to hit other adults, but somehow it's okay for adults to hit kids?
I questioned it. Which earned me another spanking and a firm "you'll understand when you have kids."
And I gotta tell you, two kids later I'm still stumped. I've never hit them and they're amazing kids. Yes, I taught them right from wrong, and discipline them when necessary. It's an ongoing process when they're kids. I firmly believe our parents were looking for a fast out. "If we hit them they'll never do anything we don't like again." Which is inherently wrong. I did plenty. I just made damn sure I didn't get caught.
"Why swear words are 'bad'..."
Why swear words are "bad," even though they mean the same thing as their non vulgar counterparts. For example, if I'm not allowed to say sh!t, why can I say crap, feces, and poop?
"Why I wasn't allowed..."
Why I wasn't allowed to do things my brother did just because I was a girl.
"Yelling..."
Yelling at your loved ones when you're mad or upset or just having a bad day. It's not that I don't get upset with people; I just don't get the urge to do that. I'll never understand why my parents would yell at me for things like literal spilt milk.
"Why do we..."
Why do we treat children and teens like they are undeserving of equal respect and honesty as adults?
"Where other people..."
Where other people get their money from.
I honestly have no idea how other humans "do it."
I'm always broke.
"Investing."
Investing.
Everyone just throws that word around and nods. How they hell do I even get started on that sh!t?
"Oh talk to a broker or consultant at your bank, they'll take care of it for you."
No, they ask me questions like, "How much risk are you comfortable with?" which I have no idea how to answer. None? I'd rather have no risk - is that right? Oh i need a little? OK, then lets do risk. I don't know how much - what does everyone else do?
"Do you want GICs, mutuals, [other terms I conceptually understand by have no degree of knowledge that lets me make a decision]?" Sure? Yes? Do we do them all a little bit? Should I just say thing like, "The Chinese Tech sector is gonna blow up, bro. I want an international fund that focuses on that with 2 year terms" and hope that makes sense?
I have no idea how anyone makes and informed decisions on investing, I think everyone is just pretending they know what their talking about and hoping for the best.
I'm 34 and still trying to understand this sh*t.
"I remember being made to apologize..."
I remember being made to apologize when I didn't know what I was apologizing for or didn't understand an apology meant/should mean. Now I over apologize (especially at work) because the words don't mean anything to me but they seem to make other people more at ease.
"I don't get why..."
I don't get why crying about something meant automatic guilt.
Seriously, as someone that grew up with anxiety and PTSD, why in god's name would me crying be an admission of guilt? After all, it's terrifying when someone a foot taller than you and twice your weight has an angry look on their face.
"Why some shows..."
Giphy
Why some shows are just for kids?
Now that I am older I especially love the shows more geared towards kids. There is no designed drama or some confusing pull-at-the-heart topics. They are usually easy and wholesome and just go for humor.
I love the kids shows now more than I did as a kid maybe because I can appreciate them now.
"Why are we taught..."
Why are we taught to "don't hate the player, hate the game", when the players perpetuate the game, and no one wants to do anything to permanently improve it.
"How people mistake passion for love."
How people mistake passion for love.
If you hate someone who has different needs and goals than you, who makes you a worse person when you're around them, who isolates you from people who are good in your life--why the hell do you think you can't live without them?
Passion means you feel stronger around someone. Passion means you can't live without someone because they make you better, drive you to be the best version of yourself. Passion means you care enough to fight, not that fighting is the default setting.
It drives me insane to see friends stuck in this. It doesn't just apply to romance, either. I've got friends in friendships that they think are meaningful because "they've been through so much together", when in reality the only thing they've been through is the toxicity they create in each other.
I don't get it. When I was a kid I asked questions and everyone told me it was because I'd never been in love. Now I'm 28, and I've been in love, and I've felt passion turn toxic. I don't mean abusive partners--I've had those too, and they play mind games, I completely understand why people stay in abusive relationships.
But ones that are just plain toxic? Bad friendships? Romances that just don't work? I don't get it. I've never felt better than after getting rid of someone in my life who's terrible for me.
"Why rock music was evil."
Why rock music was evil.
My dad was convinced of it. Ordered me to get rid of my vinyl album of "Tommy" by The Who. So I did. Then promptly went out and bought another copy and hid it from him and listened to it anyway.
Now my daughters love The Who, Queen, David Bowie, etc.
One thing I learned: If you forbid your kid from doing something, they'll just do it behind your back. A valuable lesson learned that caused me to parent my daughters much differently from the way I was parented.
Reddit user RasheenHyuga asked:
"What’s something that’s better when it’s smaller?"
We expected—and skipped over—the talk about butt stuff. Nobody is here to shame the size queens.
We did not, unfortunately, expect nor skip over the stuff about spiders.
We had to read it, so now you do too.
Differing Dad Approaches
"Pills/capsules shaped medicines."
"I have this difficulties swallowing hard capsules/tablets, if I'm aware."
"My dad used to hide them into fruits so I was not too anxious about it and not too bitter if I had to chew them."
-laffinator
"As a child, my father said that I’d need to learn how to dry-swallow pills in case there’s a world war & clean water is rationed."
- jesusbabygirl·
GiphyTiny Pets
"Kittens and puppies. They’re so cute when they’re tiny and I just wanna pick them up and hug them all!"
-bobcatnat123
"Kittens, because when they grow up, they become bitches."
- MrFroggys
"I'm gonna get hate but dogs."
"I really like little dogs because they're like little wolves...but not! They're pocket companions and, if trained properly, can be well behaved and loving!"
"Yeah, having a large dog that can do stuff is awesome - but having a mini wolf you can shove in your back pack and take wherever is even cooler in my opinion. You'll never be alone because they're portable!"
"On a subway? Pocket dog."
"In a store? Pocket dog."
"Riding a bike? Pocket dog."
- CosmosFactor
GiphyUno!
"The amount of Uno cards you're holding"
-saikopasu_neko28
"I wouldn't mind a few more if they are all wild cards"
--nogoodusernames0_0
"Especially if it’s a plus 4 or plus 2!"
- Thecrazytrainexpress
"The amount of Uno cards you're holding - while also remembering to say Uno on the last card. Learn from my mistakes..."
- poopellar
GiphyBills, Bills, Bills
"Bills."
-Resistycometostrike
"A duck would disagree with you."
-smnow
"Hospital bills in the USA is the obvious answer."
- No_Comedian_9677
"With the hospital bills in the US right now, I totally agree."
"I got some old painkillers, tweezers, hydrogen peroxide, liquor, gauze & duct tape. I'll be fine."
- bleezzzy
GiphyThe Small C
"Cancer."
"It's never good, but it's better if it's smaller. I had a low grade Glioma (pre-cancer, caught it early) scraped/removed out of my skull, hell ya!"
"Statistically 60% of people don’t know they have one until they have the first seizure. That's what happened to me but I had other symptoms like light sensitivity, vision rainbows, exhaustion, insomnia, etc."
"I work on a computer everyday and I happen to have light sensitive eyes. One day I had a seizure."
"Lots of tests, MRIS, cat scans, pet scan, brain scans. They found a mass of brain that was explained as a “black mold” of brain matter."
"Surgeon suggested removing it sooner rather than watching it slowly grow over time."
- TastelessDonut
"My cancer was caught on a mammogram when it was too small for even my doctors to feel, and it was right under my skin."
- notthesedays
GiphyNo Good Stones
"Kidney stones."
"I've never had one, just figured bigger object through peepee = more pain."
-Manekosan
"Fun fact I learned from experience: smaller kidney stones are way easier to pass, but the pain of them getting to that point can be far more severe because they're more likely to be jagged in structure."
"Suffice to say I agree with this one, but only just barely cause nonexistent is the best size for a kidney stone. That sh*t hurts. lmao"
-eltanin_rastaban
"Aaahh, human pearls."
- KrAzY_TsEnG
GiphySpeaking Truths Over Here
"Potato wedges are crispier and have an overall better taste when they're smaller."
-CLTalbot
"First answer I have read that isn't just making a bad thing smaller but rather is increasing how good something is"
-MrGoogabonomon
"Yes. See? A real answer. Something I can apply to my life. Unlike philosophical moral truths and magic shrinking debt."
- CombustibleA1
GiphyLiteral Small Packages
"I'm a postal worker - packages. If it fits in your box, fuck yeah. Time saved."
-BeechCow
"I replaced my street side mailbox a few years ago. No real need to but I put in a much larger box."
"My postman stopped one day and thanked me for doing it."
-richg0404
"F*ck yeah, I love it when my postal worker fits their package in my box."
- Kerrigore
"That reminds me of a jazz song called 'I'm Your Mailman' "
"It's about postal workers and yes, there's LOTS of innuendo."
- BeechCow
GiphyYummy
"M&Ms"
"Mini m&ms are so much better in my opinion."
-ArkhamBookworm
"Damn I used to live mini M&Ms but they stopped selling them in my country."
"The tube they used to come in now comes with the regular size m&ms, which makes no sense cause you barely get any. What the hell is up with that?"
- crnhs
GiphyNo Anus
"Spiders and all arthropods"
-Background_Egg1364
"Are you sure? Demodex is a genus of tiny mites that live in or near hair follicles of mammals."
"Around 65 species of Demodex are known. Two species live on humans: Demodex folliculorum and Demodex brevis, both frequently referred to as eyelash mites, alternatively face mites or skin mites."
"They have no anus so they just live in your eyelash follicles until their own sh*t makes their exoskeleton burst and they die."
"You probably have some living on you right now, they're just too small for you to see."
-doublestitch
GiphyOK, you know ... we were all good until the poopsploding mites that live on your eyelids.
Somebody always has to make it weird on Reddit.
I'm starting to wonder if it's a secret by-law or something.
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"What is something you cannot find hot or attractive no matter how hard you try?"
People discuss the looks and behavior that are off-putting to them.
Know-It-All
"Everyone's typing sexual shiz, but here's mine: Ego. When someone thinks they're just a top of the line kinda person and know everything about anything? No, just no."
"Had a guy I had just started dating awhile back ask me about my job at the time. I was telling him about it, but he would interrupt me to try and CORRECT me on things he clearly had no idea about (and was also wrong about every time he opened his mouth lol)."
– NuckingFutsWinx
Puckering Up
"When girls put lipstick above their lip line to make their lips look bigger."
– JackEyedPees
"I don't respect people that can't color within the lines, didn't in first grade and don't now."
– Zerole00
Lip Augmentation
"Those huge pumped up lips on a woman."
"Gross."
– fishnwirenreese
And To Top It Off
"The female equivalent of a toupee."
– jfq722
Negative Behavior
"Bad attitudes."
– ForExpToronto
"I feel like that's the kind of thing that's alluring because it conveys confidence until you actually get involved with someone like that and realize they're just an a**hole."
– Turkey__Puncher
There's a certain way adult couples speak to each other that others find annoying and more fitting for a nursery room.
How Infantile
"Baby talk."
– Dendad6972
"If you think it’s bad coming from a girl try hearing it from a guy. !!"
– Watermelonito
Missmatch
"Girls doing baby voices, I was once fooling around with this very cute girl and she used a baby voice sounding like tweety bird and sh*t and I couldn’t recover, I had to cut her free, hope she found the right guy who’s into that."
– santichrist
"That" Couple
"My ex would often talk in this very childish way of speaking, like trying to be funny and cute, and honestly I thought it was, until one day we were hanging out with her ex and her ex started talking like that and I was like….ohhhhhhh….I see."
– Vila_VividEdge
When it comes to the bedroom, these activities were ones Redditors could do without.
Getting Anal
"Scat."
"Truth be told, I had an ex who loves being f'ked in the a**. But it wasn't till the 20th ish time I realized she only wanted it up the poop shoot If she had diarrhea. And unfortunately it ended up all over me. Then she'd lick it off. Every single time I went immediately limp and couldn't finish. I tried, but, no.""I tried because she was into it."– oO_SbowWulf_Oo"Beep bobbly dee doot dah dah bup ba boodle doodle hee bat NOPE!"
– Alewort
It's A Fecal Thing
"Scat play. I'm not here to kink shame, but... Miss me with that sh*t."
– TheCantrip
Leave It For The Gastroenterologist
"Unsolicited internal organs shots."
– yeet_onfleek
Here's A Pisser
"Golden showers."
"She asked, I obliged, we broke up within a month."
– MelantorBoost
We all have our preferences that draw us towards certain people.
What others find repulsive, others find totally sexy. That's the beauty of dating, though, isn't it?
There's someone for everyone.
For those of you who are single and still looking, don't lose hope.
Your unicorn is out there.
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