Fun Fact: My moms "grandma name" is Nani.
She is called Nani because when Lilo and Stitch first came out, a very young nephew was obsessed with the film. Little man didn't do a lot of talking, but he took one look at my mother (who is pear-shaped and bottom heavy in the best way) and shouted "Nani!"
Moms a sucker for a cute kid who is excited to see her, so the label stuck. She's been Nani for 20 years.
My dad LIVES for the moment when people ask why and he gets to talk about her butt - something he will honestly take any available opportunity to do. They've been together for 40 years and are still completely gross for each other and if my marriage ain't like that, then I don't want it.
Reddit user No-Hippo1283 asked:
"Parents of Reddit, what phrases do you still use that your kids 'invented' when they were young?"
Little kids inventing phrases and names for things and having the family just run with it is one of the best parts of having kids in the family!
Grandparent titles are just one way kids enrich the lexicon, but let's go ahead and start there since it's one of the most common.
What Do You Call Yours?Abuelo Old Man GIF by CucoGiphy
"Grandpa in Spanish is 'Abuelo' but my kid would always call my dad 'Olo.' "
"Thus we never refer to him as abuelo, only 'olo.' "
"My mother would always greet my niece by saying 'Hello Darling.' "
"My niece couldn't pronounce darling, so she would reply to her 'Hello Wahwee' and then it sort of stuck. Now instead of Granny my mum gets 'Wahwee' by all the grandkids."
"My grandpa has been 'Bumpa' for 20 years because one of my cousins couldn't pronounce grandpa right when he was like 3."
"My uncle says 'drowsy trousers' instead of 'pajama pants' because my little cousin was playing with rhymes and near-rhymes and came up with that phrase."
"He and I agree it sounds cooler."
"Drowsy trousies 😉"
A Moral VictoryBreakfast Burrito Cooking GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"All of my relatives refer to breakfast burritos as ‘eggy weggy tacos’ which is a moral victory for four-year-old me."
"Same kind of thing here."
"A fried egg on a bagel in any form is an 'eggel bagel' and French toast with syrup is 'sticky froast' while the same with powdered sugar is 'poofy froast.' "
"So on Saturday morning a perfectly normal thing to say is 'do you want your froast sticky or poofy?' "
"Reminds me of 'peeber meeshmof' in my family."
"When I met my wife I asked if she's ever had a 'peeber meeshmof' and she's like 'wtf??' "
"I realized then that 'peeber meeshmof' might not actually be the name of the amazing sandwich I love. So I called my mom."
"She says one of us, she can't remember who, said 'peeber meeshmof' instead of 'peanut butter and marshmallow fluff' and it stuck. Now that's just what we call them."
Some Foreign Country
"My young son tried to ask my dad for an English muffin, but couldn’t remember what they were called. He knew it was something about another country or foreign or whatever."
"So he called them 'China Buns.' "
"We still call them that today and he’s 18."
Tea Timethrive love & hip hop GIF by Robert E BlackmonGiphy
"My son, when he was little, commented that 'bathwater is just butt tea.' "
" 'Making butt tea' has meant taking a bath ever since."
"And I'm never going to take a bath again."
Wanting A Poon
"I’m the child not the parent, but when I was learning to talk I used to say 'poon' instead of 'spoon.' My parents still use it to this day, saying sh*t like 'hand me a poon' or 'you want a poon for that?' "
"It never fails to make me uncomfortable because I know what 'poon' means these days but I’m not actually sure my parents do. & I’m not willing to correct them."
"They would absolutely mess with me about it if they realized, but they would be way more in my face about it if it they were actually doing it on purpose. Plus a family friend has made a joke about it & they just didn’t engage which they absolutely would have if they knew."
"They still joke about how I offered to help & 'cut the cheese' for a party when I was in elementary school, they are very obvious when they are messing with me, absolutely no subtlety."
"I really wish they knew & were f*cking with me so they would stop saying it around people that aren’t really close with us & probably think we’re all weird perverts when they hear it lmao"
"Plus, little do they know, I’m bisexual & do indeed want a poon."
"My Nana asked the lovely young waitress at a cafe for 'a little poon please.' My husband and I nearly died laughing."
"My brother was just learning how to sound out words and start to read. We were sitting in a McDonald’s eating when my dad points to a word up on the wall, and tells him to try and read it."
"He stared intently at it and slowly pronounced 'mac…nug…get!' "
"He was so focused, that he didn’t notice that he had tipped the little cup of ketchup he was holding and it had spilled all over his lap. So from then on, whenever anyone spilled food on their laps we say they 'pulled a McNugget.' ”
How You Become JewishK-Pop Daydream GIF by PENTAGONGiphy
"When my son was in third grade near the Christmas holiday his teacher approached my wife (who volunteered at his school part time) and asked if we were Jewish."
"She replied no & was told that our son thought we were. When questioning my son why he told his teacher we were Jewish he said he wasn't paying attention when the teacher was going through the different religions asking the kids to raise their hands."
"So by the time he realized what was going on the only thing left was Jewish."
"Now our favorite saying anytime someone is not paying attention is 'That is how you become Jewish.' "
"His answer wouldn't have mattered anyway; he was raised Lutheran but we are not very religious."
Made Of Windows
"My son could never remember 'transparent' or 'see-through' so he called anything clear 'made of windows.' ”
"He wanted to put his puzzles in the box made of windows (Tupperware container), and wanted to drink out of the clear cup made from windows."
Let's Go The Other Way
"Going the opposite way, I sometimes use words my first-generation immigrant parents invented."
" 'Defrog' is what the button on the car dashboard with the wavy red lines does (defrost/thaw/de-fog?). And we sometimes got 'Kentucky Fried Kitchen.' "
"Haha, I do this with my immigrant parents too."
"My mom for some reason has trouble with the letter S at the beginning of words, and we still call smoothies 'moothies' to this day to poke fun at her."
"I love this!"
"We do similar things in my house, since my husband is also an immigrant and non-native English speaker; he speaks 99.99% perfect, fluent English, but once in a while he'll just substitute the complete wrong word."
"My favorite was the time a jacked-up pickup truck passed us on the highway and he commented on its 'ridiculous suspenders' and it took me about 30 seconds to realize he meant suspension."
"But now all jacked-up trucks are 'suspender trucks,' obviously."
"He's also been known to accidentally switch languages when he's tired. I was beyond confused when he told me I'd look pretty with 'lint' in my hair."
"It took several minutes of synonym-charades to put together that he'd accidentally used the Afrikaans word (lint) rather than the English word (ribbon)."
"Cue recurring jokes about how we'd better save the dryer lint for wrapping Christmas presents, since it's so pretty."
Alright, now that you've gotten all of Reddits linguistic adorableness, it's your turn to share.
What words or phrases in your world exist thanks to kids?
Let's get our learn on, shall we?
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Not all television and movies are loved by all.
A story and its characters have to appeal to you in order for you to be engaged.
It can take next to nothing for us to lose interest and let the screen go black.
Redditor BarooTangClan wanted to compare notes on all the entertainment we've said "that's enough" to.
"What will make you instantly stop watching a movie or show and why?"
I hate bad acting, writing, storytelling... I hate bad anything.
Stop JumpingFight Scene GIF by Operation FortuneGiphy
"Fight scenes with a million visual cuts. Gives me motion sickness. Contrast the absolutely masterful work in John Wick. long cuts, realistic use of weapons (mostly), 100% skill."
"When the actors whisper the whole movie and you have to crank the volume to hear what's being said - but the soundtrack or some other misc noise starts blaring at a higher volume directly after."
"I basically had to watch Stranger Things up in my attic with the windows and doors closed. I was worried the neighbors would think something was wrong or be annoyed if I watched it downstairs in my single family home. It was ridiculous."
"spice things up"
"Love triangles out of no where in a second or third season to 'spice things up' because studio writers are hacks and their idea of relationship drama is 'potential infidelity' at all times. It's the most tired trope on the go**amn planet and the second I see it rear its head I dip right the hell out."
"The whole concept of a love triangle to begin with an incredibly juvenile. Any healthy functioning adult who found themselves in a love triangle would soon choose to find themselves single."
Save your lips...
"When couples in a movie/show have a fight and one of them instantly goes to a friend and end up kissing her/him after talking for 5 minutes. I cringe so hard i turn it off and never watch it again."
"This pissed me off so much in Manifest. Girl is desperate to get back her ex-fiancé, he finally breaks up with his wife to get back with her and she's like 'nah, it's not fair to your wife, let me do this other dude I just met through a calling and be pissed at you for being jealous.' Michaela was the worst and everyone acted as if she were a saint the entire time."
Talk to MeIn Love Flirt GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"Shows where a single polite conversation could fix everything."
We are going overboard with the witty repartee. Talk normal...
Shut UpScared Home Alone GIF by FreeformGiphy
"Annoying main character, especially if it's a kid."
"Kids who have a quippy, sassy retort to everything, and everyone just kind of crumbles before their wit."
"Shows where kids in high school talk like they are 30 years olds who have done everything, been everywhere, know it all and use a ridiculously flowery and extensive vocabulary in every conversation. Like, have any of these writers ever been to high school? Literally no one talks like that. Even worse is when, in addition to this, all the adults talk normal or are just plain stupid, like so weird parallel universe."
"If the movie is too dark. Not graphic, just literally dark. I lose all sense of intensity in dark scenes and I'm not straining my damn eyes trying to figure out what the hell is going on."
"I've seen about 10 percent of all DC movies recently. I've seen all of the individual films in full, just actually saw 10% of each of them."
"Movies in the late 80s had a lot of dark but you could see the depth because of different shooting techniques. Now you cant see crap because its a CGI fest drowned in black color so you can't see crap because you have no depth in a scene. Compare night scenes in dark alleys in 80's movies and movies now. Utter crap show in the new ones."
Pay Attention Storytellers
"Bad editing would be a big one. A lot of modern horror movies can't help but edit the movies like they're trailers, with added noises to scare the audience because they are afraid the script alone isn't enough to keep people watching."
"I remember this is where the first transformers movie lost me. When the transformers are fighting at the end, it's all a big, jumbled mess of metal and I can barely tell what's going on or who is who."
Dramawill devry soap opera GIF by General HospitalGiphy
"When they go straight to relationship drama right away when it wasn't the selling point of the show."
Do better, Hollywood. It's not that hard.
I fear death.
I wake up in cold sweats dreaming about it.
I think about it in my waking hours.
It's an obsession and clearly, I'm not alone.
But there are more preferred ways to exit.
All we can do is hope to be lucky enough to skip the mercilessly awful.
Please just let me go quick and in my sleep.
RedditorCallMehRiverwanted to hear about all the ways none of us what to leave this life.
"What Do You Think Would Be The Worst Death Imaginable?"
My list of the worst deaths is long. My imagination runs amok.
Trappedseason 6 friends GIFGiphy
"For me? Being trapped in a small tube or cave (like the ones you have to wiggle through) and getting stuck to where you can’t move your arms. And all you can do is wait to die. I’m getting chills just thinking about it."
"The more I hear about cavers that get stuck, the more I think that's a crap way to go."
"There’s a great YouTube channel called Ask a Mortician and this was her #1 worse way to die. I can’t remember the exact details or their names, but two well-known divers went into an underwater cave."
"One of them became entangled and died. Years later, his friend dives back down there to try and retrieve his body, the body itself is rotten and his head comes off and the other guy also becomes tangled and dies. Really sad."
A Long Process
"Believed to be in a coma but coherent through the whole 20 year process until they pull the plug."
"Oh man this just reminded me of a story I read on here about a guy who lost the ability to move and speak but was completely conscious. Had to just lay there and be awake but trapped in a useless body. His family thought he was brain dead or something and he couldn’t communicate to them that he was 'all there.' Crazy"
Slow & Steady
"Being slowly impaled by a growing bamboo. It was a form of torture probably used by the japanese during WW2 against Allied prisoners."
"The scariest part is that once you have symptoms, you 100% will die. A 100% mortality rate has to be a psychological torture in itself."
"Not only that, you feel irrational fear. Your brain is literally being eaten apart by the virus and it fu*ks up everything on it. You can't drink water because it hurts you. You feel dizzy, present a fever, excessively salivate, everything hurts and it only gets worse. I'd rather take a bullet and die when the symptoms are still tolerable."
Why can't we all just go engulfed in calm and quiet?
"Some pulpy sci-fi book I read a while back had one of the best deaths of this real piece of crap bad guy. Left to die in a drowning sea lab under the Antarctic ice, he freezes himself in a state of the art suspended animation pod with some kind cold fusion power source that would keep it running for millions of years."
"But he forgot to inject himself with the drug that would put him to sleep. So basically he is in suspended animation at the bottom of the Antarctic ocean while his mind is perfectly awake and conscious in a near unbreakable machine that won't run out of power for millions of years and nobody knows about it."
"As an RN I have always thought that the worst way to die (natural process) is ALS. Lou Gehrig's Disease."
"My mom and grandmother have Huntington's disease, which is essentially ALS, Alzheimer's, and Dementia combined into one really messed up genetic disease. I have a 50% chance of inheriting it and if I hit 40 and there's still no cure I can't promise I'll feel like continuing on with my life because that disease is absolutely freaking miserable."
"The fact your chromosomes can be so destroyed your body basically lost it's genetic code and with it the ability to make any new cells. It's literally a 'dead man walking' and you slowly rot away in agony. Stuff is so unimaginably f**ked up."
"What's also bad about radiation is that it affects your nerves and brain cells last, so you have everything in place to feel all the pain of the rest of your cells being destroyed."
GooNot Listening Season 2 GIF by The Fresh Prince of Bel-AirGiphy
"I want to believe anything that slowly kills you painfully to be the worst. Such as slowly being crushed or something where the pain is beyond compare and yet not enough to throw you into shock or unconsciousness."
"Alternatively, being rapidly crushed into goo would probably be the least painful. I'm talking one of those massive industrial hammers they use for large steel work. Basically smooshed before the nerve signals make it to the brain."
Now I'll never sleep again without nightmares of death.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Most Americans think nothing of their humdrum daily activities or amenities available to them.
However, others with a different perspective might romanticize the things that are otherwise commonplace ideas and concepts for US citizens, like going to a diner or riding the school bus.
One Redditor looked to foreigners to hear of their American desires to respond to the following:
"Non-Americans of Reddit: what is an American thing you have always wanted to try?"
The things depicted in film really captivated foreign audiences.
"To visit a diner like in the movies. In the middle of the night, it’s raining and just a few people there with great music from a jukebox."
Iconic Student Transport
"Ride a yellow school bus even if I'm too old. Growing up I always loved seeing them on TV."
Just Like The Ones We Used To Know
"A white Christmas."
"Living in an Australian state where I've never even seen snow in our winter, let alone experiencing that classic Hallmark movie moment of waking up to a street full of it and sitting around a fireplace while opening gifts/preparing a feast."
"Guess it's not strictly American, but the imagery and trope is something I've only really seen from American Films."
They may be ubiquitous for us, but they sure seem to be novel ideas to foreigners.
Let's Be Frank
"One of the hotdogs from those little street cart things."
"A friend of mine from Indonesia said, 'the food chewer in the sink.'"
"Apple Pie made by white-haired grandma, placed near window, who says 'oh dear...' as I levitate towards it."
"Proper tailgating before a ball game, the kind where there's ribs and stuff."
"Deep fried foods at a state fair. I'm from Scotland and we love to deep fry everything and I wanna know if it's just as good or better."
There are places to see!
Places To See
"America’s greatest invention!"
Backpacking In Nature
"I always wanted to hike The Appalachian Trail if that counts. Or see Yellowstone."
"Being able to start a whole new life 'elsewhere' without having to leave my country and going through an arduous immigration process."
My cousin told me she looks forward to visiting a Trader Joe's someday when she visits America for the first time.
Her bucket list option was hardly surprising. My parents used to bring treats from TJs as a novelty souvenir gift item, and my relatives ate it up. Literally.
Let's face it. The snacks at TJs rocks.
Even store locations in New York City would have ridiculously long lines during busy hours because the West-coast-based grocer was a novelty on the East Coast.
Many people work hard from the moment they are on the clock until their respective shifts are over at the end of a long day.
For many of those in the workforce, the wages barely sustain a comfortable living, especially for those who are raising a family.
Yet, there are jobs that are known to pay a higher salary without requiring extreme physical labor, or the requirement of higher education.
Curious to hear what those jobs might be, Redditor ImAMasterBayter asked:
"People Break Down Which Professions Are Completely Overpaid"
Extensive training requirements are not a thing, apparently, with these professions.
Daily Dairy Duty
"I watch milk powder go into a bag and out on a conveyor and get paid $37 an hour."
Eyeing Dirt In Motion
"Mine? I get paid $20.50 a hr to watch dirt go by on a belt all day."
The Handy Man Is Happy To Help
"I am a handy man that charges $50/hr with a 3hr minimum, a couple months ago I got a call for service that consisted of changing 9 smoke detector batteries, 2 light bulbs, and rehanging a picture. I felt bad taking the money but the guy couldn’t have been happier to have that stuff finally done. He asked for my card and is now a very good client."
Words From An Appraiser
"I make about 40 an hour after tax in the US as a real estate appraiser. You just need a college degree and a year of training and there is a huge shortage of appraisers right now."
"Edit because this post blew up: I only perceive this job as being overpaid because I used spent most of my 20's making pizza for minimum wage and imposter syndrome is a thing. Also, OP said he was looking for a possible career, and I felt like my job post was better than a troll post."
"Appraisers are not real estate agents or brokers. I do not buy or sell property."
"I do not, 'look at zillow and copy the number' and I don't just, 'make the number' in valuation. While I agree there are some appraisers who may lie or exaggerate, the same could be said of nearly any job. However, if I were to intentionally try hit some goal and got caught fudging the numbers, I'm looking at permanently losing my license and possible jail time depending on the severity. It's actually pretty common for me to, 'tank a deal' if someone is paying too much. This isn't the wild west of valuation anymore; FIRREA is a thing now. Appraisal reports aren't just 3 pages of photos with a cover page anymore; my typical appraisal is 30-50 pages with long boring typed pages of market data that I type and research myself."
"Let's talk about the appraisal gap. In most of the US, we are experiencing a, 'sellers market' meaning houses are selling for higher than what they normally sell for. A lot of people at this thread are blaming appraisers for driving housing prices up. Let me be perfectly clear about this: appraiser's valuations are based off of past data. That is it; we look at closed sales from the past. Realtors and brokers speculate on future markets, because they are motivated by profit. If anyone is driving this current market trend, it is the people buying properties over listing price, local government/laws willingness to allow foreign investors, the people who are raising rents, and the people who are making big risky developments. The appraisers have little to nothing to do with market perception of value; in my area at least many market participants are paying over 30% of listing price. Trust me when I say these people are not satisfied when my appraised value comes in less than that."
"The hardest part of the job is definitely the occasional angry phone call. Let's look at an example. Say someone lists their house at 100k, and they accept an offer for 150k, or 50% over listing. Well the appraisal is based off of past closed sales. The bank will only finance up to the appraised value. So if the appraisal comes in at 110k, meaning the subject in relation to comparable sales from the past year in the subject neighborhood equate to roughly 110k, they will either need to renegotiate the price, or be willing to put up 40k of their own money."
"In a sellers market, it's often better to accept a deal with better financing than a higher price. Let's say in this situation instead of taking the 150k offer with a mortgage, you take a smaller offer for 140k that is all cash, no financing. Well if there is no financing involved, meaning no bank, than no appraisal is needed."
Landing work in software seems to be like hitting the jackpot of success.
"I’m in software sales, software sales. Coworker got 100k commission on a deal."
"There are an incredible amount of 'analysts' who just 'own' automated excel sheets they received from developer teams."
"Low to mid six figures is common in HCOL areas."
The Successful Client
"I do the tax returns for a guy who paid 20k for demographic research software and made something like 40M over the last 3 years. His costs are almost nothing and admitted he does like 5 hours of work a week on it."
"I got more likes and comments than I thought I would, and wanted to add some more detail. The guy himself is super nice and easy to work with. It's hard not to feel jealous even though I make good money myself. His business and personal returns are super simple so we don't even charge him that much for them."
"The software is something proprietary he paid a third party for, and I don't know the name of that developer. The data output is sold to political campaigns and he's compensated more if the campaign wins. He did have some clients on both sides but now exclusively works on one side of the aisle."
Salaries in the world of academics got a closer inspection.
"University administrators and board members."
A Stark Contrast
"I'm a professor. I love it. But the 'president's office' contains a staff of 5 people with a total payroll of just under $500k/year. Meanwhile, all the PhDs, MFAs, and DMAs who teach all the classes, advise all the students, and serve on all the committees bring home a whopping $50k-$65k/year, dependent on rank, tenure, etc. It's real fun...
"The president of my institution makes a approximately $500k/year and is provided a house on campus alongside reserved parking if he so chooses to use it. He also gets a country club membership. Meanwhile I have to pay $200 to park at the school where I TA and do research, and I get paid maybe 1/20th of what he does. I genuinely do not understand why the f'k the dude who makes six figures doesn't pay for parking, but I do."
"Edit: that should be half a million."
Some of the cushiest jobs that require less time actively toiling away seem to be paying significantly more than the average livable wage offered in the US.
Perhaps the biggest indicator of what that might be was summed up best by Redditor iadasr, who said:
"Whatever you guys are all doing that lets you browse Reddit all day..."