People Share The Craziest Family Secrets They've Ever Been Let In On
Image by Лечение Наркомании from Pixabay

*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.

Many adults are protective of their children to ensure they have happy memories, even when the situation is anything but optimistic.


When I was in grade school, I used to play with these two siblings because they were the only other Japanese-Americans at the school. One day, they didn't show up to class and I never saw them since.

I understood at the time the family had to move back to Japan. It was a lie. The details escape me but it wasn't until years later I found out their parents were part of a double-suicide.

They were both alcoholics and very depressed after failing to make life in America as immigrants work for them.

Curious to hear about the secrets hidden to them as kids, Redditor Flash_Dimension asked strangers on the intenet:

"Once you were old enough, what were the dark family secrets you were finally let in on?"

Left Unspoken

As adults, these Redditors found out the truth behind the deaths of relatives.

And one person was left to deal with his own trauma despite knowing another family member went through a very similar trauma.

The Cousin And His Dad

"When I was about 10 my cousin and his dad died. I always thought it was an accident and on the same day. When I was old enough I was told that his dad actually committed suicide and my cousin followed him couple months later. Truly devastated me although I didn't know them well."

15021993

The Uncle They Never Met

"My mom had a brother who died in childhood, maybe 9 or 10. I always thought he drank cleaning chemicals and died that way, but turns out he was hit by a school bus while riding his bike. Now I know why my mom was so anxius about me biking on the road."

Corgi_with_stilts

Grieving Dad

"Not so much let in on, as we found out by accident, but apparently my dad's first love and him got into a serious car crash when he was 25 and she died. He lived with her father for years after her death. He still occasionally comes to visit my dad, even 30 years later. We were always told he was a mentor until my sister pressed my mom on the subject."

"One of my sister's is even named after the girl that died (middle name) and we never even knew about her until last year. None of us have ever brought it up with him."

nttdnbs

The Kid Who Was Left Behind

"I was in senior year of high school when I was told about the family tragedy by my grandparents. My grandfathers brother murdered his wife. She was trying to divorce him and he snapped. He went to jail and their son (my dads cousin) was alone. He was in middle/high school. My grandparents convinced the deceased mother’s side of the family to let them finish raising him and were able to get him back on a good path after the trauma he suffered. He has grown up into an absolutely wonderful man with a wonderful family and I love him."

– ArchiveDragon

A Broken Promise

"My grandma retired and she still decided to work for her brother in his restaurant to save up money for when she dies. Funerals are, obviously, expensive. She insisted he would hold on to her paychecks and pay for her funeral when she dies. He never did."

– slovakgnocchi

Revelations

Children have fixed views of their relatives that later become shattered with shocking discoveries about their past.

This is not limited to memories of an individual. One person recalled a fun situation that wound up being the result of something more dangerous.

Truth About Cousin

"That my cousin was actually my half-brother. Mom got pregnant in college and my aunt and uncle adopted him. And, that my dad wasn't my biological father. Mom and dad got divorced, she got pregnant by another man, and my dad wasn't able to have kids of his own so they got remarried and he raised me as his own."

JaysusShaves

Terrible Aunt

"When I was young I thought it was really nice that my nanna lived with my aunt and her family since she was getting on a bit and it meant she was looked after and there were always people around (aunt has 6 kids). Occasionally aunt would gripe about being the one looking after nanna since aunt is also one of many kids and being young I sympathised but given they all spent loads of time with nanna too didn't think it was a big deal (you don't think about financial responsibility when you're young I think, just social and caring)."

"Well it turns out the reason nanna lives with aunt is because aunt and her husband convinced nanna to put the house in their name so they could 'look after her affairs' and sold it out from under her and invested the money in a pyramid scheme (so it's gone now). Because of this her siblings refuse to give aunt a penny towards looking after nanna since it's her fault nanna has no money or assets and instead pay to take nanna out all the time, meals, shopping, activities so she doesn't go without but they let aunt struggle under the weight of nanna's general living expenses. (Aunts kids are all independent now so they are not going to be impacted by money problems.)"

"Now I look back at her griping with annoyance and think what a terrible person she is."

Alex9Andy

Backstabbing Family

"Grandma had 13 siblings, of those 7 women are still alive. Once a year they have a 'sister day' where they all except one are going somewhere to have fun. They’ve been doing this since they were teens. All but one sister, who has been lied to her whole life about sister day, because she thinks it doesn’t exist. This is supposed to have been started when that one sister borrowed something and didn’t give it back. Or something trivial like that."

"We are all reminded whenever we ALL get together (pre pandemic) that we’re not to talk about this, because it will hurt that sister. Still can’t wrap my head around how backstabbing b*tchy some family members of mine are. Because this is just stupid."

– Whooptidooh

A Grandmother's History

"I was never told much but when I was about 15 my grandmother started getting dementia and had a breakdown."

"All I could understand was that she kept repeating 'We are traitors.'"

"I know she was sent to some sort of children's camp during world war 2 to be away from the fighting. (I think it was called Kinderland)"

"I believe she never saw her parents again and it took decades to find her sister."

"I will have to ask my aunt one day. Maybe she can tell me more."

Piprian

Play Time

"Not very much a secret, but took me until I was older to understand what was happening."

"My mom would sometimes have us play a game called 'army' which consisted of me, my mom, and my siblings army crawling around our apartment. Kind of a hide n seek style game. She would yell 'hit the deck!' randomly and we would all drop and find a hiding spot. We would giggle and giggle while my mom army crawled around looking for us. We loved the game so much."

"I realized a few years ago while retelling the story that we lived in a really terrible neighborhood, and she would yell it out when she heard gunshots outside the building. I'm assuming she was worried about stray bullets."

Xskyninja

Questionable Merchandise

"My grandfather's brother left the family business after a feud to sell tractor parts to Africa. When I was an adult, I was told these were semi-automatic 'tractor parts.'"

– dingledangleberrypie

Becoming A Criminal

"My grandfather got out of serving in Vietnam by robbing pharmacy’s and going to jail for years."

– Pissinintherain69

Father Was A Cheater

"My father cheated on my mum, with my sister and I's horse riding instructor. We'd always thought it ended amicably. We only found this out while mum was admitting to having contemplated driving off the road with us in the car as kids, as opposed to raising us as a single mum with no career or stable job."

– Genic

Drinking

These people are all-too-familiar with the ravaging effects of alcoholism.

Alcoholic Step-Grandfather

"My step grandfather has always been an alcoholic. As a child he even taught me how to mix his favourite drink. As kid at like 6 years old I would mix his drink as he liked and bring it in to him in the living room. (Don't ask what the drink was a mix off cause I literally can't remember) and my grandpa always acted 'funny'. I always liked spending time with him cause I found him funny. So I never saw the bad side of his alcoholism and he never made me drink or anything so overall he didn't have any negative impact on me at all, but before I was born he could get so drunk he threatened to kill my grandma and when he got in a car accident and came home he was bleeding badly from his head and he started saying my granny shot him. He even threw out some of the wedding pictures my parents had. I never knew how horrible he was. He would make me cocoa and watch Garfield with me when I was a kid, he was never a bad influence in my life. So it was so weird to me when I found out these things about him."

"Before he died tho, he really regretted drinking, and he completely stopped. He became really depressed too until his granddaughter (biological) was born. He was so happy about his granddaughter. He died regretting everything and a sober man who was happy to have been able to meet his one and only biological granddaughter."

"Regardless of everything he really changed in the end and everyone was really upset he died."

CEmofficially

Drinking From An Early Age

"Most my mom's family were raging drunks. She was a very late oopsie baby so almost all her siblings were grown once she came around and she spent a lot of time boumcing between siblings, parents, or other relatives. Her older brothers got her drunk at age 5 and laughed while she puked all over herself. She learned to drive around 10 because her brother would get too sh*tfaced and she'd have to drive him home. And there was also pretty severe medical neglect."

"She's never gotten therapy and was a real treat to be raised by. Intergenerational trauma: the gift that keeps on giving!"

_viciouscirce_

Reading through many of the comments, there are so many tragic family histories that could have left people traumatized had they learned the truth at an early age.

Parents shielding their kids from the harshness of reality is admirable.

But it does raise the question of whether believing in a lie as a child and discovering darker truths in adulthood is better than not finding out about the truth at all.

What are your thoughts?

If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

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