People Break Down Which Things Are Not Terrible Or Great But Perfectly Average
Mae Mu/Unsplash

This will be a perfectly average article about perfectly average things.

There will be C-level effort given here.

This will be like the "normal" episode of Spongebob.


Reddit user WinstonChurchillin asked:

"What is neither terrible nor great, but perfectly average?"

I've never written an ode to beige before, and I'm not about to start now ... which is fine because C-level effort, people.

Starting with this moment of clarity.

The Taste Of Mediocrity

coke pouring GIF Giphy

"A canned coke slightly colder than room temperature."

- ImDedNgl

"I didn't know how to answer this question but as soon as I saw your answer... it all just... made sense."

- _forum_mod

"Oh my god I can taste it on my tongue as I read this. The taste of mediocrity."

- momoman46

"When you put it in the freezer so it'll get colder faster and you check back like 15 minutes later and it feels cold to the touch; but when you drink it, it's not that cold, but you're like, screw it and drink it anyway."

- MyStationIsAbandoned

A Dinner Downgrade

"Just had a cooking class in high school and we made a potato and leek soup."

"The first words me and my friend used to describe it were 'ok' and 'alright.' "

"It was really the most average thing I've tasted; not that it was bland just that it was neither good nor terrible."

- RavensArePrettyCool

"This is my favorite 'meh, that sounds alright' dinner to make."

"It’s both easy and hard to make right. It’s simple, and yet I have to go out of my way to get leeks from one specific grocer, which makes it hard."

"It’s an ordeal and so very average all at once. Strange."

- deadheadcycle

"Potato and leek soup is just a downgrade from leek soup."

- Alexthegreatbelgian

Ohio

ohio columbus GIF Giphy

"The Midwest. Especially Ohio."

- SpyTheLie

"Just moved to Ohio last year. It’s fine."

- Mindbender444

"Came here looking for Ohio. Fitting I should find it in an average response."

- Jayphlat

"Ohio sucks"

"- a Michigander 😂"

- NyaNyx

Historical Math

"If Ivan the Terrible had a baby boy and Alexander the Great had a baby girl and by some miracle, those two babies met throughout history and f***ed, the resulting baby would be the most perfectly average baby ever birthed."

- 0ldPainless

"I like the way your brain works."

- SnooDingos2721

"Average Joe incarnate."

- mynameisnad

They're Not Awful

"A baloney and American cheese sandwich on white bread with Mayo."

"No one would order one in a restaurant, and no one is ever excited to have one, but they’re not awful. A perfectly average sandwich."

- No_Pen_4702

"There's as many terrible sandwiches out there that are much worse than this as there are good sandwiches that are better. This one fits very well."

"My wife loves these sandwiches, mind you, as do several others I know."

- RhettSarlin

Nothing Exciting

"Staying at a Holiday Inn."

"Quality is consistent, but nothing exciting is going on."

"It’s not so nice that you’ll get a hotel bar and restaurant, but it’s not so crappy that you can watch The Neighbor Show with all the crazy folks also staying there."

- felinelawspecialist

The Corolla Choir

Robots What GIF by Toyota Giphy

"A tan 2002 Toyota Corolla."

"That was my last car before the current one. While I had it, I would sometimes think about how this is just 'a car.' "

"There's new cars and old cars. Cool cars and sh*tty cars. Cars that are fun to drive and cars that are scary to drive."

"But a 2002 Corolla... That's none of those things. It's just a car."

- aguycalledkyle

"The Toyota Corolla. Every single one of them."

- Blindog68

"Wife and I's first car together was a Corolla coupe. It had the cool disappearing headlights, which made it slightly nicer than average."

- DesertTripper

1 Snack

"Home brand garlic bread where they skimp on sesame seeds atop the loaf and the butter is slightly too stingy."

"The ultimate in 6.1/10 snacking."

- TheRysingTyde

This

"This very thread."

"It's amusing, but not laugh-out-loud funny. Lots of thoughtful nodding in agreement, but no urgent need to screenshot or share it."

"A pleasant diversion."

- ISpyStrangers

Well ... that's it. That's the whole average article about average things.

Okay bye.

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