People Break Down Which Things Are Not Terrible Or Great But Perfectly Average
This will be a perfectly average article about perfectly average things.
There will be C-level effort given here.
This will be like the "normal" episode of Spongebob.
Reddit user WinstonChurchillin asked:
"What is neither terrible nor great, but perfectly average?"
I've never written an ode to beige before, and I'm not about to start now ... which is fine because C-level effort, people.
Starting with this moment of clarity.
The Taste Of Mediocritycoke pouring GIFGiphy
"A canned coke slightly colder than room temperature."
"I didn't know how to answer this question but as soon as I saw your answer... it all just... made sense."
"Oh my god I can taste it on my tongue as I read this. The taste of mediocrity."
"When you put it in the freezer so it'll get colder faster and you check back like 15 minutes later and it feels cold to the touch; but when you drink it, it's not that cold, but you're like, screw it and drink it anyway."
A Dinner Downgrade
"Just had a cooking class in high school and we made a potato and leek soup."
"The first words me and my friend used to describe it were 'ok' and 'alright.' "
"It was really the most average thing I've tasted; not that it was bland just that it was neither good nor terrible."
"This is my favorite 'meh, that sounds alright' dinner to make."
"It’s both easy and hard to make right. It’s simple, and yet I have to go out of my way to get leeks from one specific grocer, which makes it hard."
"It’s an ordeal and so very average all at once. Strange."
"Potato and leek soup is just a downgrade from leek soup."
Ohioohio columbus GIFGiphy
"The Midwest. Especially Ohio."
"Just moved to Ohio last year. It’s fine."
"Came here looking for Ohio. Fitting I should find it in an average response."
"- a Michigander 😂"
"If Ivan the Terrible had a baby boy and Alexander the Great had a baby girl and by some miracle, those two babies met throughout history and f***ed, the resulting baby would be the most perfectly average baby ever birthed."
"I like the way your brain works."
"Average Joe incarnate."
They're Not Awful
"A baloney and American cheese sandwich on white bread with Mayo."
"No one would order one in a restaurant, and no one is ever excited to have one, but they’re not awful. A perfectly average sandwich."
"There's as many terrible sandwiches out there that are much worse than this as there are good sandwiches that are better. This one fits very well."
"My wife loves these sandwiches, mind you, as do several others I know."
"Staying at a Holiday Inn."
"Quality is consistent, but nothing exciting is going on."
"It’s not so nice that you’ll get a hotel bar and restaurant, but it’s not so crappy that you can watch The Neighbor Show with all the crazy folks also staying there."
The Corolla ChoirRobots What GIF by ToyotaGiphy
"A tan 2002 Toyota Corolla."
"That was my last car before the current one. While I had it, I would sometimes think about how this is just 'a car.' "
"There's new cars and old cars. Cool cars and sh*tty cars. Cars that are fun to drive and cars that are scary to drive."
"But a 2002 Corolla... That's none of those things. It's just a car."
"The Toyota Corolla. Every single one of them."
"Wife and I's first car together was a Corolla coupe. It had the cool disappearing headlights, which made it slightly nicer than average."
"Home brand garlic bread where they skimp on sesame seeds atop the loaf and the butter is slightly too stingy."
"The ultimate in 6.1/10 snacking."
Better late than neverSeason 10 Bbq GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"Showing up late to a barbecue, and while there's still plenty of food left, it's not exactly warm anymore, but it's not so cold that you don't want it."
"But the beers are still in a cooler filled with water that used to be ice. Not perfectly chilled, but I'll have one!"
"Yeah but the beer tastes like it was brewed in the 60s."
"Late enough so that everyone is there, but not too late so that anyone hasn’t left"
Little goes a long way
"Accidentally putting a little less toothpaste on the brush than you normally do."
"Oddly specific and perfect."
"I actually nodded and smiled a little when I read this comment, like 'Oh yeah that's it'. And then I laughed at myself"
"The dinosaur said it should be pea sized I stuck with it since."
Take a seatFrench Bulldog Love GIF by The BarkPostGiphy
"Nailed it. They are never great, but they’re almost always pretty okay."
"Except for the ones with anti-homeless aspects in their design. Those ones are mildly evil."
"Big facts. Not a single bench I've ever sat on has been comfortable, but they still let me sit for a bit."
"A piece of chocolate but it’s not in your favorite flavor. For me it’s one of those orange filled ones."
"the pain i feel whenever i bite into a chocolate, and it's raspberry flavor is too much to bear"
"The orange ones are the best"
Meh-tatoe chipschips GIFGiphy
"The no name chips from the drugstore."
"Edible, but nothing to write home about."
Perfect dateMiss Congeniality April 25Th GIFGiphy
"April 25th. It's not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket."
"Its the perfect date!"
"Get outta here Mrs. Rhode Island lol"
"Ok don’t judge me but my mom would make our birthday cakes by hand and her leftover buttercream icing on saltines is my low key redneck poor kid comfort treat"
"By themselves? Yes. In soup? above average."
"Nope, they're great. Fresh butter on a saltine is incredible."
Mall 'ZaStranger Things Indiana GIF by netflixlatGiphy
"Mall pizza. It's never great pizza. Never terrible pizza. Just pizza."
"Just a little za."
"Mediocre pizza to me is worse than bad pizza. Truly bad pizza at least makes you feel something - anger about having paid for it, disgust over having to eat it, etc."
"But mediocre pizza just makes you sit there, chewing dough and tasting nothing, while you contemplate your mortality and how your life led you to this moment."
"A hot dog with no toppings"
"On the other hand, a hotdog with the perfect toppings can be a real treat and imo one of the best fast food options!"
"On the other hand, a hotdog with the perfect toppings can be a real treat and imo one of the best fast food options!"
Cover band swag
"A short sleeve shirt over a long sleeve shirt"
"If you wore this in 2006, it meant you liked music."
"Disagree, this is the most comfortable top configuration. And it looks sweet in a cover band."
"This very thread."
"It's amusing, but not laugh-out-loud funny. Lots of thoughtful nodding in agreement, but no urgent need to screenshot or share it."
"A pleasant diversion."
Well ... that's it. That's the whole average article about average things.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
The most surefire way of hurting someone is not by physically attacking them but rather by using words.
Indeed, saying something to someone you know will deliberately hurt them will leave a far more lasting impact than any scar or wound.
Petty name-calling or completely false accusations are fairly easily brushed off.
Then there are the things people say to others which can simply never be forgotten, and no amount of forgiveness will ever make them forget.
Words that are so harmful, or information so traumatizing, that the only way to describe it is "f*cked up".
"What was the most f*cked up thing someone said to you?"
Love Is Stronger Than Blood
"I've shared this one before."
"I was adopted when I was three."
"My mother has always been very supportive and a wonderful person, but my dad had a drinking problem and overall was a bit of a sh*tty person."
"When my mom got pregnant, I was 7, and I remember my dad telling me he was so excited to 'finally have his own and first son'."
"There was always favoritism, and in the current day, he and I don't even talk."
"I love my brother to death and hold no ill will, but our father should have been better."- CT3993
Someone Will Always Remember
"My mom told me that she wishes I was never born."
"I wasn't planned but they always told me I was a 'surprise'."
"One day when my mom drank a little more than usual, I told her I love her and she looked me in the eye and said 'I don't love you, f*ck I wish you were never born'."
"I haven't stopped thinking about that, it was just us two in the room when it happened and she doesn't remember it."
"It scared me and I don't think I will forget it."- Commercial_Sea_8817
People Grieve In Their Own Time
"My husband died suddenly when I was 35."
"There's a picture of me at the visitation standing in front of his urn with my brother's arm around my shoulders while I cried."
"My friend said 'I love that picture of your brother supporting you'."
"I said 'Yeah'."
"That's when he told me to suck it up and stop crying."- DevonHexe
All Children Want Is Their Parent's Support
"'I don't love you, or care about you. I only love your sister'."
"Honorable mentions: "
"'I hope you never make it into college'."
"'I hope you have to work a grueling schedule for the rest of your life'."
"Thanks dad."- lcssa
Apparently, So Could Her Husband...
"I had a very complicated pregnancy."
"I found out at 4 months (crazy, I know)."
"I was extremely high risk, and my FIL was asking my husband what he'd do if it he had to choose me or the baby."
"Before hubby could answer, my MIL pipes up with 'Well, if it's her or the baby save the baby you can find a better mother'."
"I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE."
"Husband lost it."- NickiP5150
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"To me and my wife."
"We went over for Christmas 10 years ago, my dad was so drunk that they couldn’t stand up."
"He asked if he could hold our six month old child to which we said no."
"My mom who was not as drunk walked over about two minutes later and asked to hold the baby."
"We said okay to that and she immediately turned around and handed our baby to my overly drunk dad."
"A week later we get together with just us and them and tell them if they drink like that around our kids again, we won’t be coming to family events."
"My mom looked straight at my wife and said 'all the problems in this family are because of you'.”
"My wife being taken by surprise by that stuttered her next words and before she could get it out, my mom did that 'to-to-today' mock."
"Needless to say we got up and walked out of their house."- Myworkaccountbrah
So Good To Know They Had Their Support
"I was basically bedridden after an accident left me in constant, debilitating pain."
"My ex screamed in my face to 'just die already'."
"But apparently I'm remembering it wrong and it wasn't that big of a deal."- moxley-me
No Need To Hold Her Feelings Back
"My mom married my stepdad when I was four and we moved out to my step-grandmother's ranch to work it."
"When I was seven, I was told to help my nine year old cousin learn about what to do."
"He whined and b*tched about everything he has to do the entire time."
"I told my stepdad's mother about him 'not being too excited' about it."
"Well, he's the oldest, so this ranch will be his someday," She'd said.
"I'm seven. I don't know how sh*t works, so I ask, 'So I'll be working for Brad here someday?'"
"'No. You're going to be a priest. There's no other use for bastard children,' Was her answer."- wjescott
Children Can Be Cruelest Of All
"In middle school, I was told by a girl named Aubrey that I was a 2/10 and she audibly gagged at me."
"Well guess who’s a 2/10 now, 15 years later?"
"Still me, but f*ck you Aubrey."- itsTonic_
Not Everyone is Meant To Be A Parent
"'My life would have been so much better if you had just died too'."
"My twin died at birth."
"It may be true, but no kid needs to hear that."- bonjelascott
"My dad's speech at my mom's funeral:"
” <mom> and <son> had a close relationship, I’d have preferred to have a daughter'.“
"Not sure how that's relevant for the occasion but ok."
"Either that or the: 'Your mom wanted you, not me'.“
"Many years before that."- Remk0h
Placing Blame Will Never Change Anything
‘"It’s your fault your dad died’ - my mother."
"He had a heart attack on my 14th birthday, I was at school when he had the first one, asleep at night when he had the second that killed him."
"I didn’t get to see him as he told me over the phone to enjoy my birthday."
"That was our last contact."
"I cancelled my plans anyway and stayed at home waiting for my mom and sister to come back from the hospital."
"I still carry that guilt."
"Later, my ex’s mom. ‘It’s no wonder he died having to deal with you as a daughter’ sigh."- FrozenBluebell
Some Things Are Out Of Everyone's Control
"'It shouldn't have been your dad'."
"'It should've been you'."
"'It should've been you'."
"Said repeatedly by my mother, both drunk and sober, after my father's death."
"I think I looked too much like him for her."- berripluscream
Just Plain Cruel
"My ex-husband while we were still married:"
"'I don't find you sexually attractive anymore'."
"I was eight months pregnant with our second child."
"We were in the middle of making love."
'My ex-husband again: Fast forward a year."
"I am still nursing my baby girl when he tells me,
"'Lose weight or I want a divorce'."
"I am 5'5" and weighed 135 lbs when he said that to me, which is exactly ten pounds more than I weighed on our wedding day."- mom_with_an_attitude
They say actions speak louder than words.
But some words leave a much more lasting scar.
Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comments.
People are attracted to who they're attracted to.
We really can't control what revs our engines.
Everybody has a type of what they like in another person and what they don't.
Well, most people do.
There are a rare few who like anyone and anything.
One big attraction issue is height, particularly when it comes to dating apps where people can exclude certain heights.
Redditor xanzznax wanted to hear from all the guys who have been unceremoniously turned away because of height, so they asked:
"What is the best response to 'I don't date short guys?'"
I just like to be the shorter one. Sorry.
But... I'm the small spoon.
NibblesJim Carrey Conan GIF by Team CocoGiphy
"Bite her knees."
"Couldn't reach, went for the ankle instead."
No Hard Feelings
"When on Tinder I wrote my height because I know women have preferences (and some dudes will ridicule the tall woman, short man relationship)."
"When I matched with taller women who also wrote their heights, I would always ask if they where ready for this kind of long distance relationship. They always responded with a laugh, and if they didn't want to date, no hard feelings, they don't owe me anything."
"Adding in a non self-deprecating joke is helpful because it implies you know your height & that some women have preferences but you're still confident and you haven't made it your identity. It shows you have a sense of humor which is very attractive."
"Some shorter people have an insecurity complex and this is what gets in their way of dating compared to the actual height, and when they're like this they're typically unaware that it's their personality that's doing them in but blame it on the numbers."
Is what it is...
"If a woman says I don’t date short guys it’s understandable, a man might feel a bit insecure. I’m not short but I’m skinny and I’ve had many women say things about my size and I’m still a bit insecure about it. I don’t let that insecurity become a problem anymore. I’m of the mindset that I can’t control how I feel, but I can control how I react to my feelings."
POOFGIF by VPROGiphy
"Laugh loudly, disappear with the use of smoke bomb."
If we could all just "Poof" away in difficult situations.
WarningFootball Yes GIF by State FarmGiphy
""Hang a 'you must be this tall to ride' sign around her neck."
"Exactly, if that's their preference, move on."
"Ironically, I've never been 'rejected' in this way by a woman I asked out. Only women I haven't asked out. I have had women tell me they only date tall men or they couldn't date me because I'm short, but it was seemingly random. Like, I hadn't asked them out or shown interest. It's actually kind of hilarious."
"Short guy here, I'm 5'4, I used to get rejected by taller girls a lot, my favorite way to deal with it was just to say thanks for being honest. For some reason they would later introduce me to their friends who were maybe my height or something. A lot of them said that when you handle it like an adult its very attractive, and while they might not like short dudes, they def have a few friends who do."
"Because disliking short guys, tall girls, skinny guys, fat girls etc... is at the end of the day a matter of personal preferences. No matter how much you cry, scream and sh*t yourself about how unfair it is, it won't make you attractive to that person. Just move on with your life and find someone who'll love you for who you are."
Leave it...Amy Schumer No GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"I dated a guy who was like 5'6" or something (I'm 5"4'). It super wasn't a problem for me in and of itself. What was a problem was that HE kept BRINGING IT UPPPP!!!"
"All you short guys out there, I always found it EXTREMELY attractive. There are plenty of women who do. So rock the shortness, someone out there is admiring the cut of your gib!"
Be calm in who you are.
Do you have any similar experiences? We'd love to hear about them in the comments.
People Confess Which Professions Attract The Absolute Worst Kinds Of People
Everybody needs a job.
But some colleagues can be an issue.
And some careers and jobs bring about those that have work ethic issues.
So what do we do?
We make it work, of course.
We pray and hope everyone will do their best.
Redditor Glaurung1536 wanted to discuss the people we all work with, so they asked:
"Which profession attracts the worst kinds of people?"
Some jobs are the worst. So maybe it's not always the people.
Bad InfluenceSchitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBCGiphy
"Ok so not really a profession but… there is a certain subset of musicians who are also wannabe influencers… particular people who are very on twitter. so back-stabby and clout hungry."
"I’m a casino dealer. People losing money brings out the worst qualities in them. Especially when I deal high limit games. Plus the pit boss/supervisors won’t throw a person out who is literally spending thousands. Doesn’t matter what they do or say. The casino doesn’t want to lose those kinds of patrons."
"They’re catered to. They can be so awful to the dealers. The job has made me look at humanity in a completely different light lol."
"Pro relationship tip: Bring a date to the casino and see how they treat the dealer if they’re losing. You’ll see what kind of person they really are. I have about 10 years of experience in the industry."
"Stockbrokers. I have some friends who are stockbrokers. I love them, but man, they are some bullsh*t artists. And not like, 'Oh, they're a good salesman, and could sell you anything,' No, it's like they make sh*t up as they go along and try to sound confident in what they say."
"I have met a couple people who were successful, lifelong stockbrokers. To be a successful, lifelong stockbroker, you actually have to like what you do. They all had crazy eyes. Each and every one."
"Tow truck drivers. At least 80% of all the tow truck drivers I've met have been felons, and about 98% have been shady d**kheads."
Tow truck drivers are definitely gruff.
Bouncedargentina deal with it GIFGiphy
"Bouncers. I swear those people are always looking to create trouble so they can exercise their right to kick a**."
"Former bouncer in my youth, and I can 100% confirm that most of the drama we were in was caused by the two biggest guys that just wanted to f**k with people and brag about it while we were having our after-shift drinks."
"Absolutely lifeless humans. Audio-visual bottom feeders with a camera, searching for scraps and the next payment. Not only does their profession provide something that is arguably valueless, but the means to produce it is abominable. Predatory mannequins that need removal."
Sell. Sell. Sell.
"Pyramid scheme. Property agents."
"I have had a few friends that have become realtors later in life. The ones that stayed with it, it totally changed who they are. After a few years they are hardly recognizable as the same people. Vein, shallow, and 100% of the time they are in character and trying to sell."
"I thought I wanted to be an architect… but then I met a bunch of architects. And architecture students. And architecture professors. And they were pretty much all A-holes. It was weird. I mean… how could it be so consistent? But there ya have it."
"I used to teach in a program that often fed students into the world of architecture."
"Every semester I would orchestrate one charette where I would bring in architects to critique student work. No matter how much coaching I did (to both visiting architects and students) students would feel crushed by the feedback. There were almost always tears."
"I often hear back from students that it was the most impactful part of our work together."
Hands UpSuper Troopers Police GIFGiphy
"Law enforcement - double-edged sword, because it attracts the best and the worst."
"The best in people who want to help, protect, and do good. The WORST in people who want to exact authority over people. Power-hungry a**holes who are insecure and have short fuses and low tolerance for defiance. If you can't handle someone defying you without losing your sh*t, you shouldn't be a cop."
So many jobs full of questionable people.
Did we miss any? Let us know in the comments.
People Who Love To Cook Share Their Best Tips And Tricks For Beginners
We can't all know and be experts in everything, but there are some things that are vital for us to know, like the basics of keeping a clean home and cooking simple, healthy meals.
But a lot of us were raised in households that taught us a lot of those vital basics, leaving us to have to figure them out on our own.
Redditor Wehause asked:
"People who love to cook, what tips and tricks do you have for beginners?"
Key Rules in the Kitchen
"Prepare everything before you start cooking. Cooking can be so stressful if you ignore this step."
"Clean as you cook. Waiting 20 minutes for that soup to simmer? Take that moment to clean."
"You don't always have to every the recipe down to a tee. Sometimes improvisations can work just fine."
"Food tastes a bit bland? Add more salt. Does the food taste like it just needs something? Add an acid (vinegar, lemon juice, tomatoes, etc)."
"Taste. Your. Food. Don't be like me, the id**t who used precise measuring spoons for his first two years in the kitchen. Add a little bit of salt/spice. Taste it. If it's a bit under-seasoned, add some more. Doing this is how you build up intuition in the kitchen, and it's how you learn how to season things intuitively."
Clean as You Cook
"To kinda go along with the 'Clean as you cook', keep your work area clean, too."
"Set aside something that is your designated trash collector on your counter, so as you're chopping or whatever, all the onion papers, garlic skins, and carrot ends have a place to go."
"I like using paper plates or the meat tray so once I'm done, I can just pick up the whole thing and throw it all away at once."
Prep Ahead of Time
"Prepare everything before you start cooking. Cooking can be so stressful if you ignore this step."
"AKA 'Mise en place,' or for us casuals, 'get your s**t together.' Truly makes everything go much smoother."
"My MIL (Mother-in-Law) is continually horrified at using 'so many bowls and cups.' Dang lady, I’m running the dishwasher anyway, so why does it matter? Even if hand washing a prep bowl is like a ten-second cleanup."
Go with Medium Heat
"The only time I ever go higher than exact medium heat (aside from boiling something) is to do a quick sear. Always medium or lower."
Seriously, Medium Heat!
"I can’t even say this loud enough or repeat it enough. Medium heat!"
"In college I had a friend ask how I made grilled cheese both melty and without burning. He was just putting it on high and sticking the sandwich on the pan."
"Taste everything as you cook and do it often. All cooks should be doing that but if you are a new cook it's even more important. Not tasting as you cook is like covering your eyes as you paint or plugging your ears as you play music."
Learn from the Recipe
"What you want to do is cook a recipe as is exactly the first time you make it. Otherwise, you really can't properly evaluate it. Halving the sugar since you want less can drastically impact the target flavor. So make it according to the directions once and then rate it."
"You'll end up with a library of actual good recipes (seems rare in this click-views blogging age, unfortunately). Then you can adjust the next time you remake it if you think it should be altered. Or since you now know what it should taste like, measure by feel until you perfect making it again and again without measuring."
"Now you're a chef and creative modifications will soon follow. But doing it properly first will teach you more than just winging everything."
Take a Note from 'Pirates of the Caribbean'
"If you're cooking recipes are more like guidelines than rules. If you're baking, a recipe is a doctrine."
Know the Basics and Go Wild
"If you understand the basics of baking, you can go wild. But it's the 'understand the basics' part that stumps people."
"People hear that baking soda can't be substituted for baking powder (which is true) and then they're terrified to alter a baking recipe."
"There's a book called 'Cooking for Geeks' that's a good read. It gets into the chemistry of acid-base rises, the Maillard reaction, and other underlying principles."
"The trick is to understand what's going on, to learn the savvy to grab vinegar so beaten eggs hold their shape when you don't have the cream of tartar."
That Steak, Tho.
"Clean up as you cook. If you’re not using a utensil or strainer or whatever you use anymore, clean it while you wait. I’ve kind of made it a game to see how efficient I can be while cooking. It’s kind of fun."
"If you want to make a steak delicious baste it in minced garlic and butter. Then after you’re done basting it, drop your veggies or whatever side in the pan, and shake it around. I’ll do this if I’m trying to wow someone with a good meal. Not the healthiest but is the tastiest."
Start Simple and Grow
"Choose simple recipes, follow each step, and consider why they might be important."
"Give it time, don’t try to rush things through, most food takes time to let the flavors combine."
"Look at cooking videos or read cookbooks, even if you have no intention of making that specific recipe it might give useful information you could have used in other recipes."
"I can recommend looking into authentic Italian cuisine, often simple recipes with few ingredients but the techniques to each step can be crucial to the finished product."
Know the Textures
"Not something that will apply to everyone's style of learning, but when I was learning to bake and cook I did a lot of things by hand the first few times and then used a mixer or other tools later. For me, it helped to understand the different possible feelings and textures."
"I knew what to look for when I introduced more appliances and tools because I knew how it felt and how it needed to look from doing it more slowly first (dough is the best example, but there were many other things too)."
Be Careful with the Cookware
"I learned that lesson in my early 20s. You don't have to spend 100s of dollars on good cookware but 50 to 90 dollar set works well."
A Hot Pan is Your Friend
"Make sure you let the pan heat up before putting food in it."
A Necessary Companion
"Get a knife sharpener. I paid like $12 for mine, on clearance, and the difference after sharpening is night and day."
None of these tips are particularly complicated or groundbreaking on their own for someone who frequents the kitchen, but each of these will make a new cook's experience that much sweeter and more savory.
Did we miss any pearls of wisdom? Let us know in the comments below.