It's so easy to lie to kids. You could argue it comes from a lack of respect, taking their minds for granted and assuming they couldn't handle the truth of the situation. Or, maybe it's because you don't think what question they're asking is worth your time, so you make something up. A harmless little white lie, what's the worst that can happen?
Turns out, kids have pretty solid memories, and if you life to them they'll talk about it on the internet when they're older.
Reddit user, u/DrinkingSoup, wanted to know what you learned later on in life when they asked:
What's something stupid an adult told you as a child that you discovered was totally not true?
There Are So Many Better Years Ahead
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"High school is the BEST YEARS OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!"
The hell it is. F that entire decade between 8 and 18. They're some of the most uncomfortable, challenging, and difficult years of a human life. It gets WAY better in the 20s and 30s, though still challenging in some ways.
If you "peak" at 16, you're selling yourself SO short!
Santa Doesn't Always Deliver
My uncle told me that santa would come out of the sink since I didn't have a chimney in my old house.
And that he was going to by me a ATV.
And 10,000 dollars :(
If This Were True, This Sounds Like The Beginning Of A Horror Movie
Eating watermelon seeds will lead to a watermelon growing in your stomach.
As a child, I took this pretty seriously for a while. LOL.
*stares at pile of unplayed video games
"You will play video games as much as You want when You grow up"
Think We All Heard This One
That when the backseat light in the car is switched on, the driver is legally not allowed to drive cause it is the cause of many accidents.
Ouch.
I was told my other grandma "went to china to look for her knitting."
This wasn't true, she's dead
Well, Kind Of, But, No
Everytime you run west you slow the earth's rotation a little bit and the moon moves further away.
This is actually 100% true, but the amount is so small it's like saying dropping a kool-aid packet in the ocean is going to change how it tastes.
The Sad Thing Is It Doesn't Matter Either Way
That if you leave a google window open and idling on your desktop it exclusively leaves your computer open to internet hackers
Just Don't Be High. Problem Solved.
My dad told me the vacuum would suck up my toes. I know that won't happen but I still wear slippers when I vacuum
My dad has a story about vacuuming when he was younger and he was super high, and vacuumed over his toe and the roller rolled it in and broke it, so there may be a little bit of truth here!
We're All Kind Of In The Same Boat
"Get good grades in school and you'll succeed in life?"
[deleted]
Conversely "if you don't do well in school now you'll struggle all tour life".
Jokes on them, we're all struggling regardless.
This Isn't How Vikings Are Born
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that if u shave your beard grows thicker
I grew up in a salon because my mom is a stylist and this drives me insane. People try to tell me this bs all the time and when I challange them, I'm the crazy one of the group. More people believe the rumor than know the truth.
Thanks, Bro
My oldest brother (he's 21 years older than me) told me that head-lice burrowed through your scalp and into your brain, and that's why I was so stupid.. thanks bro.
You Descend From A Long Line Of Kings And Queens
My parents weren't supposed to be married so they used to tell little me that I would've been the child of either my mom and some other man or my dad and some other woman and as a kid I used to imagine one of them being my aunt or uncle instead of my parent and laugh, it wasn't until I grew up and took biology I realized I only exist because of those two specifically lmao
Why Do We Lie To Kids?
I was on a road trip and my grandparents told me that the people in the banana fields were banana benders. So one day at school I had a straight banana and I took it to my teacher and said "Mrs they forgot to bend my banana". I can only imagine what she was thinking when I explained to her what a banana bender was!
Feel Like This Is A Really Good Lesson For The GOP
Respect your elders.
I heard this all the time. I thought elders with more life experience should be respected more. Older people in families, grandparents, etc.
Right up until I was betrayed by one of these elders and I opened up my eyes to the deceit that people hold in their hearts. Face to face they're all smiles, but behind your back, they are, for fail of a better word, quite evil.
Now: your age is irrelevant to the respect that I should give you. Show me that you have a good heart, and you deserve my respect. Your respect will not be inherently given... But earned. And those people who have a good heart, do not even have to think about earning my respect, because it comes naturally through their words, actions, and general demeanor.
This Is Just Called Lying
As a kid, My dad told me his phy-ed teacher made him write a ten-page essay about his shoelaces as punishment. It must have been coercion for me to behave myself.
I asked him about it as an adult, and he had no idea what I was talking about.
Doing The Butt Bump
Thunder is the sound of two clouds bumping into each other.
My parents said it was giants throwing rocks, but they weren't being serious. I had read the Hobbit and they were referencing that. I actually knew the real answer because I liked reading the children's non-fiction section at the library.
Definitely Not How Churches Should Behave
We were guilt tripped in our church. They told us we should be able to hear God's voice. If we couldn't, we had to pray harder to remove all sin from our life.
I remember being at a 24/7 prayer camp than ran for a week. I remember sitting there for about four hours. Finally an "aide" asked me if I could hear God yet. I told him no. He said I wasn't praying hard enough and I hadn't revealed all my sins to God yet.
I was done with church after that trip.
There's A Slight Difference Between The Two
That I was smart, when in reality im just not stupid.
Sometimes, it's better to be not stupid. Less expectations.
Turns out that being smart does not equal success in any way. You are much better off being average and lucky. Just smart enough to see opportunities, that's all you need.
Kids Are Smarter Than You Think. Give Them Credit. Tell The Truth.
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Why has nobody in this thread mentioned the cab light in cars? We were all told it was illegal to turn on the light.
Why do adults do this? I never knew this was so common until I joined reddit. My mom just told us it distracts her while driving and so we didn't turn on the lights. Seems simple enough
Because people are lazy and think children are inherently stupid or too rebellious to accept a simple explanation. We've had to explain a couple times to our kid that the light can't stay on because it's a distraction.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.