Unless you're a total egomaniac, there's probably been at least one moment in your life where you had to stop, stare at yourself, and embrace the realization that yeah, you're really shockingly dumb. No judgment, we've done it too - and we have no shame talking about it.
My regular readers know all about my childhood belief that I was the "moon princess", but if you're new here I'll rehash the Cliff's Notes version.
My parents used to tell me that the reason I could always see the moon no matter where I happened to be was because the moon loved me so much that it followed me everywhere. Me, being young and trusting, just took them at their word. Bad idea in my family.
I didn't know anything about astrological distances, perspective, etc. I never questioned it again. The moon was my little best friend and I would talk to it as such. Let's just say I was EMBARRASSINGLY OLD when I had my moment of sudden realization that pretty much everyone with a view of the night sky could see the moon 'cause that's kind of how celestial bodies work.
I absolutely still talk to my sky-bestie, though. BFFs for life.
Reddit user negan2018 asked:
What really obvious thing have you only just realized?
Folks... I feel better. We've got Santa issues, people who didn't understand how to use towels, a missing Olsen sibling, and at least one person who just thought Michelangelo really liked some random dude named Dave.
Enjoy! The dumb is truly dazzling.
When In Rome
Giphy"Super embarrassing but in college I would order Roman Cokes because I heard everyone else ordering the same...turns out I misheard everyone and found out it was just rum and Coke."
The Missing Olsen Twin
"As a child I was confused as to why Mary, Kate, and Ashley were referred to as the Olsen twins and why ads on TV only ever showed two of them at a time."
"And then 16 year old me found out about Mary-Kate."
Lost In Translation
"The first time I visited the USA I was on my own and in NY and going to all the museums. I kept seeing signs that said "No strollers" and thought (because what Americans call strollers are called "prams" in the UK) that you guys are super strict about the proper amount of attention required to visit a museum. I actually pretended to show more interest than I had in order not to be thought of as some deadbeat out for a casual stroll."
"It wasn't until about day three that I saw a "No strollers" sign that included a graphic for idiots."
D.O.G.
"This girl I know has a dog named Deoji. Two years into knowing her and being around Deoji, I was having a conversation with her sister in law and I said "I love the name Deoji, how did she come up with that?" Her sister in law responds, "Deoji" and I said "yea, it's a neat name". She started laughing and said "No, D.O.G. ...the way you spell dog"
"I'm still mindblown about this lol."
A Very Merry Christmas
Giphy"When the kids catch their mom kissing Santa Claus, it is because Santa is their dad dressed up. Not because Santa and Mom have a once yearly torrid affair."
"I had always wondered why the dad wasn't as mad as he should have been. Figured it out when I was about 30 years old."
"Okay so I was listening to this one just the other day and had a realization about it. There's a line where the kid says "I was supposed to be in my bedroom fast asleep." This means the Dad was dressing up as Santa Claus for the mother and not for the kid. Meaning Mommy has a Santa fetish."
- Truffled
"Similarly, I was recently telling my friend how creepy I found the song "Santa Baby" because it was weird a woman was trying to bang Santa. Then my friend told me Santa is supposed to be her boyfriend/husband, not actually Santa"
"Still a weird song but not as much now."
"I was always confused why they would say, "up on the housetop reindeer paws" because reindeer have hooves... then I realized they didn't have paws, they were pausing so Santa could go deliver gifts."
These Actors Seemed Miscast But Absolutely Nailed The Role | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
A Dude Called Dave
"That Michelangelo's David is David from David and Goliath. How did I not know this?? I thought it was just a dude called Dave."
"At first I was like, "I thought it was King David." But now I think those are the same person. Ol' Dave had a lot of adventures."
"I mean I hate to make you feel worse, but did you never notice the sling he is holding over his shoulder and the stone he is holding is his other hand???? Did that not give it away?"
"Bro I thought it was his trousers that he isn't wearing 😅 I honestly haven't looked at the statue in depth (in any depth at all clearly) and yeah I haven't noticed the sling..or the stones?! There are stones?? Man, my bad Michelangelo."
Departments
"It's called a Department Store because there are, wait for it, separate departments within the one store."
"I had a Sudden Clarity Clarence moment with that one recently."
These Conspiracy Theories Are Easy to Debunk | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Birthday Suit
"I realized that to be in one's birthday suit it means to be without clothes. I thought for the longest time it was a specific set of clothes you would wear on your birthday each year. I found out when I asked, "what happens when you don't fit in your birthday suit anymore?" Lol"
The Absence Of A Dock
"I only just today realized that the "walk the plank" plank on a boat is not a special addition pirates added to their ships as a means of public execution that looked like a little wooden diving board."
"It is, in fact, the very same plank as the gangplank you'd normally use to get on and off of the ship. It is not the presence of the plank that is threatening, but the absence of dock."
Gay Moms
"This is so so stupid but I didn't realize my moms were gay until I was almost 14 and I literally heard my mom say "I'm gay" to my grandma as a joke."
"I knew that lesbians/same-sex/gay were relatively interchangeable but it didn't click as "my moms are lesbians which is another term for being gay and they are gay" until that moment."
- hgb965
Little Pillows
"Story time. When I was little for some reason I hated toast. Just hated it. My parents always tried to make me eat it but I always refused. My grandma decided to try something different. She took toast, cut it up into tiny squares, put some butter on them, and called them "Little Pillows." I ate them all the time. Only now, at 22 years old, did I realize it was just freakin toast."
Bathroom Blunders
Giphy"Ok, this was a couple of years ago, but it was something I realized WAY too late in my life..."
"You're supposed to use the towel to dry yourself after a shower. I was just wrapping it around myself and sitting / walking around in it until I air dried."
"Dude I thought I was alone with this."
"It wasn't until I went on a lake trip with my school when I was 14 and I was sitting with my towel on waiting to dry, that I saw people drying themselves off with their towels when they got out of the water and it hit me. I have never felt more stupid and I have no idea how I didn't realize sooner."
"I always thought women with long hair turned their towel into a turban for fun. I didn't know they wrapped their hair in it."
- wwfmike
"Last time I remember this question asked there was a guy that didn't realize you could wait until the water got hot to get in the shower. He hated how it always starts so cold."
- Betakurt
"I'm 16 and didn't realize until a month ago you don't HAVE to turn sinks up all the way. Water always splashed me when I washed My hands, and I complained to a friend and she said "Just turn the handle half-way then..?"
"My life has gone uphill from there ladies and gentlemen, let me tell you."
So Fresh And So Clean, Clean
"That the phrase mint condition means like new because it's the condition coins leave the mint in."
"Wow I always thought it meant mint condition because mint makes u feel fresh..."
Beef
"Didn't just realize this but didn't realize it for a while"
"The reason why the cow mascot says eat more chicken is because he doesn't want people to eat him - which is a beef. For years I never understood this and then one day I realized it and told my family and they called me stupid."
Narwhals Are Real
"A few days ago my wife and I had gotten into a stupid argument and weren't speaking to each other. We live in a pretty small place so we both were kind of stuck being angry in the same room. I turn on the TV and start watching a documentary on sea life and a segment pops up with a narwhal swimming with her calf. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my wife slowly look up from her phone and her jaw drop. She then says "Wait, wait, wait....hold on.....those...exist?....they're real?!" I didn't know what to say so I just burst out laughing for a solid minute. At least it got us talking again lol."
Bow & Arrow
"I remember that in seventh grade I had watched a vine where a kid gets a bow and arrow and says "I have a boner!" I didn't know what that meant so me and my friends were playing Minecraft and I thought it meant bow and arrow, but abbreviated."
"I don't remember what we were playing but I was yelling that out, "I need a boner!" Thinking I was yelling for a bow. The entire class went quiet and I was wondering why my friends were dying of laughter. I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life."
Night Gas
"That there are gas stations open at night. I know that this is something that is extremely obvious to most people but I grew up in New Jersey where most gas stations close at 8pm. It never occurred to me that there are ones open on the highway for people driving at night. I used to drive around with my friends at night and whenever gas is low that just meant that it was time to go home."
Non-Native English Issues
"For years, I said 'it's a doggie dog world' until my wife said to me that the right expression is 'it's a dog eat dog world'.
"Also, not being a native English speaker, I didn't realize at first what booty in 'shake your booty' song was referring to. I thought it meant shaking your little boots on the dance floor."
Spontaneous Pinecones
"Pinecones come from pine trees, I was sitting outside and looking around then suddenly realize, pinecones around a pine tree. I never really gave thought to it I thought pinecones just existed."
Mice And Rats
"I thought that mice are female of rats...I watched too much pokemon as a child. Ratata - a mouse evolves into Raticate - a rat."
- trestany
Citrus
"That oranges; lemons and limes are different fruits. I thought they were the same fruit in different stages of development like grapes and raisins."
- nsbe_ppl
Natural Gold
Giphy"This is so dumb.....but about a year ago I realized that dog breeds aren't naturally occurring. Like there aren't golden retrievers in nature."
The Second Worst Seizure
"When I was in high school I heard my mom talking about someone having a "grandma seizure." I asked mom what that was and she said the worst type of seizure you could have. I never could figure out why they didn't call it a grandpa seizure then. And then the grandma seizure could be the second worse type of seizure."
"Well, yeah, years later I saw it in writing and it's actually Grand Mal Seizure. I'm obviously not a doctor."
- Shemas12
We've all been there and had that thought, "did I miss school when everyone else missed this?"
Do you have similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.
One Redditor wanted to discuss aspects of the animal kingdom.
"Which animal gets undeserving hate?"
Tigers and lions. Have you seen the videos of the tigers and lions who have bonded with their human? It's possible.
Bless You
bat flying GIF by eve_agramGiphy"Bats. They eat billions of insects. You should be thanking them."
Flying Goths
"Vultures, eating dead bodies might seem ugly to some but other animals do the same thing but also murder them so how is just finding something that’s already dead and eating that worse, also eating a carcass removes deadly diseases like botulism from the environment."
Anuniqueusername20
"I always show my appreciation to the local goth turkeys."
iamquiteunhappy
The Yeeted
"Blob Fish... they just get yeeted out of the water and the massive pressure difference makes them look 'strange.' Kinda rude I guess. Like if we get yeeted into space and Aliens would laugh at our disfigured forms and print T-Shirts of it."
tinylittletoe
"I think I read somewhere that the pressure change causes their cells to explode and that’s why they look so horrific after being pulled out of the water. Dunno how factual that is."
0utlandish_323
Not the Villain
"Hyenas, partially because a whole generation grew up watching them help kill Mufasa lol."
Natural-School5690
"They’re awesome. They have a unique matriarchal society and they’re pretty smart, as well as tougher than hell. Wouldn’t want to smell their breath though."
Ermaquill
"I've seen people arguing this before but people hate hated hyenas years before the lion king came out. They were constantly used in folklore as villains and opportunist and were often considered unlucky in most african cultures."Eaglekingoftheskies
earth skunk GIF by Lil DickySkunks? Um... from afar, they're cute. But stay away...
Genius
homer simpson crow GIFGiphy"Crows. Yes, I understand the caws can be annoying, but they're far more intelligent than a lot of people give them credit for."
anotherrroom
Loners
"Possums! They eat pests and won't typically bother you unless rabid or provoked."
DrChefAstronaut
"Quick reminder then you need to specify which kind of possum, because not everyone here is from America. There a lots of possums here in Australia but they are completely different from the American kind in temperament! Only annoyance with possums here is if they get into your roof. Meanwhile in New Zealand, possums are ALWAYS a pest."
theexteriorposterior
Bad Movie Vibes
"Sharks!"
TurbulentWeek897
"The guy who wrote Jaws ended up writing another book explaining how misunderstood sharks are. Because the movie Jaws scared everyone, and fishermen began to hunt sharks, making them endangered."
ChronoLegion2
"I was gonna say this! They're not bad guys they are just doing shark stuff! It's the freakin' dolphin types you gotta watch out for. Orcas will kill for fun. A shark is just trying to eat and don't see that well."
Genderneutralbro
Powerful Babies
"Black Cats.They aren't evil and they don't bring bad luck."
SuvenPan
"It's a frequent mistake, but black cats actually bring good luck and blessings from The Void!
"Be sure to tell all your friends. If we work together to insist that black cats are good luck, we can help turn over the discrimination. Also, I have proof that they are good luck - whenever I see a black cat I become happy. Coincidence? I think not!!"
theexteriorposterior
Heroes
frog michigan GIFGiphy"Frogs. They eat the mosquitoes and other bugs you don’t like."
dragonborne123
So many animals need some PR help.
Which ones would you add to this list? Let us know in the comments below.
Reddit user Devastator1981 asked:
"What’s one thing you still prefer to do the old-fashioned way—regardless of technology—and why?"
My seriousness about potatoes is, apparently, a passion matched by many...
Board Games
Art Design Game GIF by Scorpion DaggerGiphy"Physical board games/card games. Most of the app versions of the games I like aren't that great. Plus, it's more fun to play with someone."
- Junkolm
"Especially old ones. My friend has a Trivial Pursuit from the 80s. All questions are completly impossible, so we added improv/clues/charades. Funniest boardgame I have ever played."
- ipakookapi
"Yes! Family game night is a weekly occurrence for us. We have close to 100 board games."
- tolai87
"Great answer. Shuffling and fanning cards just feels so satisfying too"
- bokchoy_sockcoy
"I have the original Cluedo board game that used to belong to my grandfather as a boy. Still one of the best board games ever made."
- blisskinjo
Photos
"I print photos and keep them in photo albums. I like to keep the special moments of life as a book and go through it page by page."
- SuvenPan
"There’s something satisfying and nostalgic about seeing the physical photos. I have my favorites displayed in frames, so I can see them every day. Makes me happy."
- macaronsforeveryone
"I only have a few photos in a photo album but I love this idea, I need to get a camera that prints out the pictures itself"
- Several-Orchid9640
"I agree, I took a look at my album with photos from childhood and it was so satisfying to go 15 years back and enjoy those special moments again... I like physical photos because I know they're in a safe place, they will be forever with me and can't disappear unlike the photos on my phone. Also, they look more... realistic. Or is it only my thought?"
- YourLocaIWeirdo
"I back all my photos from throughout the years 3 times. One on my PC hard drive, the second on an external hard drive, and 3rd in the cloud system. I'm paranoid that if I had them in just one place, I could lose them forever"
- Gbrown546
Books
Read Beauty And The Beast GIF by DisneyGiphy"Read. Love to have a book where I can turn the pages."
- Jonsmile
"I was the same until my eyesight started to weaken. Reading glasses are a pain. I have several bookcases full of books that I love, and love to reread, but I have rebought many of them on my Kindle. Being able to change the font size was a game changer for me."
- Square_Body_Trux
"Books over a kindle always"
- Warm_Quantity_326
"I prefer paper, but I listen to audiobooks a lot because of how much I drive for work."
- This_Personality3731
"Books, where you can turn the pages, are so much more relaxing than swiping on a screen all day, plus I love the smell of new books and the sound of the page when I turn it, but those darn paper cuts if you aren't careful."
- Several-Orchid9640
Drawing
"Drawing. I never really got the hang of digital art. It's much easier and more satisfying for me to have all of the tactile input from my work. Also, I sew, and along the same lines I prefer to hand-draft patterns."
- WitheredFlowers
"I think digital is easier than traditional painting. No buying paint/brushes, no mixing color, no prepping canvas, no varnish, no storing canvas and transporting when selling."
"But traditional drawing and painting also has its pro's like you said :-)"
- LAUSart
"One of the things I love about art and artists is that no matter the medium, content, or materials, it is always art and always something to be appreciated."
- PizzaTem
"I personally use a combination of both. I can make a beautiful sketch and then I transfer it into my drawing tablet, colour and go from there."
"I've also found that I can sketch and get concepts out so much faster by hand than if using a digital medium. Something about being able to easily vary pressure while hand drawing is difficult to replicate digitally. But I do really love the ease of coloring and features available in a digital medium. Pros and cons in both!"
- deadlysirensong
"I love drawing physical art but I definitely want to get into digital so I can touch up my drawings and maybe even move over to that format."
- Crazyguy_123
Buttons
Pressing Season 3 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy"Physical buttons for climate controls in a car. I refuse to buy a car that only uses a touch screen for everything. Much safer to not have to fiddle with a touch screen while driving."
- Ghertomp
"Touch screens are a great invention. They’re awesome for so many things. They open up so many possibilities for all sorts of technology."
"But not everything needs a damn touchscreen. Touchscreens on cars are typically a huge distraction and hazard. It might look pretty and shiny but yeah, I’d much rather have a knob I can twist without looking."
"And why do things like dishwashers, washing machines, and refrigerators need touchscreens? I feel like it just drives the price of those things up. If it doesn’t add some sort of functionality I’d rather not have the touchscreen. Touchscreens are dope but they don’t need to be on everything"
- Jailbreaker_Jr
"Physical buttons on most things. I understand how touch screens and trackpads are more flexible, but I really enjoy the tactile sensation, the certainty that you definitely pressed the right button, the extra sensation that allows you to more precisely press buttons, and the ability to press buttons with things besides your bare finger (like a gloved finger or your knuckle because you're holding something), and probably a few other things I can't think of right now"
- Quazimojojojo
Menus
"Physical menus at restaurants. I'm with the boomers on this one"
- cptfuzzybeard95
"Wait some restaurants don't have physical menus? TIL"
- Minimum-Activity3009
"QR menus were really frustrating until I upgraded my phone. Also hate when they don’t render right away."
- xi545
"same like what if your phone's dead? what do you do then??"
- CrescentCaribou
"Use your limited data in a brick building to spend 5 min downloading a huge pdf of the menu that’s fuzzy anyways"
- dheidjdedidbe
Compact Disc
cd GIFGiphy"Buy music. Unfortunately buying cds just isn't as easy as it used to be. But I prefer physical media, and just convert it to digital. I hate streaming music. I don't trust the stuff I love to always be available. I like having ownership of what I listen to."
- jbnagis
"I love buying and album and find those deep tracks"
- flyinhawaiian02
"There was a used CD store in my old neighborhood. I loved going in and buying a pile of the '10 for $20' CDs. So much fun for (comparatively, for me) not too much money: the satisfaction of choosing from the diverse selection, the nice walk there and back, listening to the CDs as I ripped them, and then hearing the 'new music' come up in my playlists!"
- a_marie_z
"Yes. Omg. Buying CDs is so difficult now!! My car has a CD player which I LOVE, I dread the day when cars no longer have CD players and all my CD are filled with dust."
- prettyxxreckless
"Same here. I shouldn't need to be hooked up to the Internet to listen to my tunes. That's why when I hear a song I like, I'll write it down, prowl through the library and rip the CDs that have what I'm looking for."
- IStubbedMyGarlic
Writing notes
"Make notes on paper. I will typically use index cards because they are not as easy to "fly away" or get crumpled or lost. But hey.... that's just me!"
- NoBSforGma
"IIRC there's some research that shows that writing things down on paper makes it easier to retain than if you write it down on a computer."
- Jealous_Hospital
"Had to scroll too far to find this!"
- NefferTT
"Index cards are powerful. Flip them, fold in half, tear them. If you keep them in a pocket card deck, the startup cost for study is even lower, in many cases, than a phone index card app, and it’s more intuitive to quickly use color-coding or underlining when making them."
"Plus, they’re easy to sort so that you’re self-quizzing harder topics more."
- ferdielance
"I also use mine to make shopping lists. Left one-third: supermarket. Middle one-third: Stuff to get at other shops. Right one-third: Where I'm supposed to go for shopping. I list these and cut one card in thirds! Put those in my pocket and I know just where I'm supposed to go and what I'm supposed to get."
- NoBSforGma
Fire
episode 19 cooking GIFGiphy"Cooking using firewoods. It gives more aromatic flavor to your food"
- IshigamiiiIchigo4u
"I especially love slow cooking stuff wrapped in foil / leaves / etc in the embers. Best potatoes ever. Apples stuffed with honey cinnamon butter. So many yummy things."
- fia-med-knuff
"For some reason, I've always wanted to try that. It seems really cool"
- Vexachi
"I read this as fireworks and was so confused for so long."
- EnvyInOhio
"Charcoal, too. Not sure why, but whenever you burn straight carbon instead of a hydrocarbon, it just tastes better. That teeny little bit of oxygen makes all the difference."
"Propane is great and very efficient, but you just don’t get the flavor."
- betterthanamaster
Coffee
Coffee Time GIF by Jones Brothers CoffeeGiphy"Not sure if this counts, but I grind my coffee by hand and use a simple brewing method (either chemex or french press) to make it."
"I think having full control over the process leads to better tasting coffee than I get with any automatic machine. Also, having a ritual that I do every morning and takes a little elbow grease helps kickstart my day."
- NebXan
"French press coffee is good but I hate cleaning them. I just use a funnel and a filter."
- ipakookapi
"I don't use a machine but I use the sort of coffee where you get a spoonful and put it in a boiling cup of water. :)"
- Vexachi
"Glad I'm not the only one. I own an espresso machine and electric grinder specifically for it (grinding 6 shots of espresso by hand takes forever...) but if I just want a cup of coffee French press, chemex, and aeropress (for traveling) are where it's at. The minute to weigh and grind are absolutely worth it for the quality over regular store bought pre-ground drip coffee."
- rpitcher33
Now that you know what Reddit is still kicking it old school about, it's your turn in the confessional.
What do you do the good old fashioned way?
Redditor atomicturdburglar wanted to help out a few career paths with some positive chat.
"Which profession unfairly gets a bad rap?"
I've had so many jobs. I'm interested to see what y'all add to this list.
From Behind
Awkward Lucille Ball GIFGiphy"Gastroenterologists get a bad wrap because buttholes are gross and who would want to spend time there, but these guys save lives."
guyuteharpua
“dignified”
"I was a cleaner. People used to treat me like furniture and assumed all kinds of things about me. That was the best-paying job I ever held, with the best benefits, and most vacation! I went back to school for a more 'dignified' career, and my 'dignified' job sitting at a desk ended up being worse in every way."
DearAuntAgnes
Hot Skills
"Plumbers. People always assume they’re gross greasy old dudes but really they’re extremely skilled professionals."
randomnessamiibo
"I'm straight up so jealous of my plumber. He's really fit and like movie star handsome, nice and great at his job, an honest professional, just built himself a gorgeous dream home in a great neighborhood. Dude is just slaughtering life."
Essential People
"Janitors. Give them respect, people, unless you want to empty your own trash and clean your own work or school space. Seriously, being nice to the janitor saved my tail one time when I was locked out of a room that contained some vital work material. The big boss didn't have keys to that room, but guess who did?"
Roguefem-76
"I’m a teacher and the first people I befriend at the school was the janitors. They keep that place running. I made a point to learn about them, things they like etc. and on Custodian Appreciation Day as well as Christmas I make sure to get them a little something as my way of saying thanks."
makeitwork1989
Sky People
Shock Electrocute GIF by Dr. Paul BearerGiphy"Meteorologists. Lotta jokes along the lines of 'must be nice to be wrong half the time and still keep your job.' Do you know how difficult it is to predict the weather 2-3 days out, let alone a week out?"
wxmanify
I don't understand the weather. So I'll pass.
Tip Accordingly...
kitchen dancing GIF by StaatsloterijGiphy"Hospitality industry."
Reeceqld
"Was hoping someone wound say this. I miss working in restaurants. Good Pay, good people. Unlimited time off. Physically exhausting and mentally challenging but so worth it."
Wingkirs
Full of Thanks
"Embalmers. Thankless job people think they are creepy but who else would do that."
Signal-Opportunity-2
"Embalmer here. Luckily it isn’t always thankless. Surprisingly, in my experience, families do appreciate and understand the care taken with their loved one which makes it all worth it."
The People at the End...
"Morticians. Really don't get why; they're the last ones to ever let you down."
cwbrumm
"A lot of them are family owned enterprises passed down through the generations. If you've grown up hearing about that kind of stuff, it doesn't seem weird at all. Most people don't want to acknowledge our mortality, but it's one of those certainties in life; along with that comes job security."
"But people definitely assume we’re creepy/morbid/obsessed with death when they hear embalmer. And while it’s true sometimes, overall we’re a (relatively) normal bunch who have the unique gift of somehow being able to healthily compartmentalise the horrific things we see on a daily basis."
deathbloomsonce
"My job's certainly gross, but there's usually not as much of an emotional component to it. I've got empathy for people but not enough patience to deal with them all day every day. It exhausts me. But spending hours listening to music, chatting with a coworker or two while figuring out exactly what happened, why this person died? That's rewarding to me."
Beat_the_Deadites
"I've working in coroner/ME systems for a good while, and there's a fair amount of job switching between county morgues and funeral homes. Funeral homes can pay better and may be less busy, but you also have to deal directly with grieving family members, i.e. take money from them during their darkest days. It's a delicate and often thankless job."
The Counters
"Auditors. Clients are rude to them. Bosses treat them like s**t. And Public just wants them to work like donkeys and find fraud even though it's not their primary responsibility."
chesapeakeripper_18
"I think I'm pretty nice to the auditors that come into my company."
"Apart from that one year where I had to explain the same thing to a guy three times and then had to teach him some basic accounting principles, like how to deal with prepayments and why we were accruing certain costs. I didn't want to deal with him again after the first day."
DragonStar1
Objection!
Law Lawyer GIF by GIPHY Studios OriginalsGiphy"Lawyers, when they're/your/lawyer they're good lol. But yeah people often like, don't understand what the job of a lawyer truly is so people are quick to demonize them."
"Yeah there's some that truly are out there abusing loopholes and being scummy, but most lawyers are just doing what they're supposed to. Making sure their client is getting charged fairly. Even if they are guilty, they still are there to ensure a just punishment and not overkill."
Reddittoxin
These all seem like reasonable jobs. Some difficult but worth the effort.
Curious to hear from strangers Redditor poetic__ asked:
"What ingredient automatically ruins a dish for you?"
You would never expect these as responses for the assignment.
When The Emperor Lost His Groove
"Poison. Kuzco's poison. The poison for Kuzco."
– Warkitz
Doesn't Plate Well
"Spaghetti sauce if it's a plastic dish."
– misswallflowerr
"A bit of water and lemon juice gets the stain right out of plastic."
– Gundarium_Alchemist
Someone Swam In Your Soup
"Hair"
– GboyFlex
"Little black curly hair."
– highxv0ltage
Nope To Beach Picnics
"Sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
– Halcres
Now we're getting somewhere.
Finding The Right Balance For It
"Too many cloves. I have had many tooth pains in my lifetime and the taste of clove oil lingers dreadfully in my mind. I do like curry powder and some of my favorite pickle brines include a lot of cloves. The taste just has to be balanced with the other spices and seasonings. If I get any faint hint of it I'm immediately grossed out."
– glistening_cum_ropes
Doesn't Mix Well
"That piece of spices in your stew that you thought it was meat."
– Bewluga
"Ginger? Chomping into a piece of ginger when you thought it was meat.... 🎵You'll get the shock of your life."
– SynthPrax
Faking Sweetness
"Stevia. Blech"
– paytonsglove
"I'll never understand why people think stevia is a replacement for sugar. Doesn't taste anything like sugar. Same with Sucralose."
– anfcrazylady
Let's get specific.
Jiggly Dessert
"Jello. I have spent FAR too much time in a hospital as a child. according to my mother jello was basically all I could eat. since I got out, it's been my only culinary hate. taste, texture, just, nope."
– Nepeta33
There's A Time And Place
"Raisins where there should not be raisins."
– stressandscreaming
"Hey alright! Chocolate chip cookies! Don't mind if I do.... oh F'K YOU!!"
– conradbirdiebird
Tainted Sweets
"Rose Water."
"I want to love Indian and Middle Eastern sweets. They look so good, but nope every time it goes in my mouth all I can taste is rose water. Like chewing on the potpourri from grandmas bathroom."
– OkBoomerEh
I'm not a shrimp fan, however, I can eat it when it's fried in tempura batter.
My family would periodically order fried rice–which I absolutely love–whenever we ate at Chinese restaurants.
Even though we ordered pork or chicken fried rice, I found that many of the LA Chinese restaurants we ate at threw in surprise shrimp as if to spite me.
I would pick them out and eat the rest. Now, I don't know if it was just me, but I would still taste hints of shrimp juice every time, which ultimately ruins the dish for me. Yeah, it's just me.
Stay in your lane, shrimp!