Let's not tell your mother about this, it'll be our little secret.
Chances are you've messed up at least once. But luckily for you, you had your dad on your side, and he was willing to do what it took to keep you out of trouble. And sometimes, if you ever caught your dad slipping up, you did your part, tooo.
After Redditor links-shield632 asked the online community, "In the spirit of Father's Day, what was your 'don't tell your mother about this' moment?" fathers lined up to share their stories. And those who aren't fathers shared memories of their own fathers!
"hey don't tell your mom, I'll get it fixed"Giphy
I was with my dad and we thought it was a good idea to start a small fire, on the porch, the wooden porch. It was made of mostly paper and we made sure to scatter the embers and everything but after we went inside and to bed, the wind must've kicked up because we came outside the next day and there was a giant hole burned into the porch. My dad just told me,"hey don't tell your mom, I'll get it fixed," he the proceeded to cover it with a small table. She found out anyway and we're pretty lucky that the house didn't burn down.
Saying this in honor of my dad as he is very old and does not reddit, he once cut the end of my toe off as a baby cutting my sharp baby nails and my screaming brought in my brother. Hey joined forces to get me all bandaged up and told my mother I'd banged it into a wall or trapped it in a door or something? My mum found out (and by extension so did I) when I was 10.
A wholesome one: for my mums 50th birthday he bought her a set of vintage diamond and pearl earrings and a necklace. I helped him choose them out. I'm never allowed to tell her just how much they cost.
Dad and I used to rent a movie each week for when mum had dinner with friends. Usually things like star trek or action films. One day (I was about 11) he came home with "Blade." We got about 10 minutes in and he turns to me and said "don't tell your mother about this, let's just say I forgot to get it this week". Of course I agree.
Fast forward 7ish years, dad blithely drops at the dinner table the fact that we watched blade when I was about 11. Silly dad thought there was some kind of statute of limitations on this.
"When I was 5"
Not a real "don't tell your mother about this" moment, but when I was little, my dad had a workshop in the garage where he'd do wood work. I'd come out and talk to him while he worked, and he'd let me sit on the car that was parked in the garage. He framed it as something that was so bad and edgy and we couldn't tell my mom, and I was five, so I believed it and felt so cool without actually doing anything wrong or dangerous.
"Out of Ammo"Giphy
My dad, brother, and I went out to these dunes near where I live with bottle rockets. We each had an empty milk jug and each took like 20 bottle rockets for ammo. Then, we ran around launching bottle rockets at each other. I was the youngest, which made me the hardest to hit, so I won the rocket war. But yeah, mom never found out
Daughter speaking for her father.
In high school, everybody was always busy at work or clubs, so I was the first one in my household to get home nearly every single day. Dad was having money troubles that he didn't want to disclose to anyone, so he paid me $5 a month to take the bank statement letter from the mailbox and hide it from my stepmom until he got home. It was the closest thing I got to an allowance.
P.S. I had no idea what the "money trouble" was, BTW. I was always the "don't ask, don't tell" person, so that's why he trusted me the most about this.
"figure something out"
We forgot my passport during vacation and were already at the border station when we noticed. My dad then said that we won't turn back but that he will "figure something out". Turns out he smuggled me successfully across 3 Border crossings without my passport. Before we arrived at home, he told me not to tell my mom about this.
"Quid Pro Quo"
Not a father but a story about mine. one day I decided to pull a sick day at school and came down stairs and saw that my dad was making a coffee, I asked him what he was doing and why he wasn't at work and he said I could ask you the same question. We stood in silence for a moment and he said I won't tell your mum if you won't. We had a good laugh about it and he let me have the day off.
"The Pre-Covid Days"Giphy
When my wife's at work, I will take my daughter (4year old) out for breakfast, then we will go on a small adventure around a shop of her choice and pretend whatever she wants, last time we went to a car parts shop and rolled tires around as we were freeing the rollings from monster, so far my wife doesn't believe her when she later on grasses me up. Tbh its the only thing pre-Covid i miss doing.
"WHAT IS HE DOING ON THE ROOF?!"
Dad was putting new roof shingles on. I was probably 3 maybe 4. I asked if I could help. He said if I could climb the ladder sure. I was always climbing so that was no issue. Climbed right on up and started handing him shingles. It would have been a "don't tell your mother" moment had she not come home from grocery shopping. After several back and forth of "Where are you" and "Up here mom" she figured it out and flipped out. "WHAT IS HE DOING ON THE ROOF?!"
Edit: I'm not a dad so I posted on behalf of my dad.
My dad used to wake me up at night when I was in middle school to watch Jack@ss with him. We would be absolutely wheezing with stifled laughter while my mom snored through it all. Thanks for jogging this sweet memory loose in my head, it's been a long time.
My son randomly walked to the kitchen, 3am (was finishing up some call of duty) and he saw me eating ice cream. So I got him a bowl and we were whispering like nerds (he was 4) and I said "don't tell mom" and he said "don't tell mom!"
Didn't do the dishes following morning and my wife asked who had ice cream, the traitor pointed right at me lol.
"Out of the Radius"
One for my dad.
My dad took me to my first MLB game (God I miss baseball ;_;) and told me not to tell my mom.
Later found out it was because the game was a good bit outside of the travel radius set in the custody agreement. They were arguing a lot more than usual at the time so he knew mom would say no if he asked about it, but really wanted to take me to a game. Told me not to say anything so she couldn't use it against him while trying to take him to family court again.
Luckily I didn't say anything and we got to keep sneaking away to games until the travel radius stopped being a thing. Dad still has the tickets too.
I took both kids out at around 13 to show them how to drive. Just in big empty parking lots or in the neighborhood but they loved it and I enjoyed a little secret with them for a while.
I had a similar thing, but we have a large yard (like almost 2 acres) so one year when we were dealing with branches from the yearly pruning, he let me drive the pickup to the back field. No big deal right? Well our pickup is from the mid 70s and our yard has a bunch of trees and cars scattered around. I should have hit something. The only reason I didn't drive all the way to the back was because I couldn't make it up the worlds smallest hill. Lol. Kept spinning the tires.
"Waffle House Tales"
Story about my father. When I was about 6 or 7 we were really hard up for money at the time, so we cut down on all expenses, saving change, ect. My mom would go out of town for work every other weekend. My dad would save up a few dollars over the weeks, take me to Waffle House for breakfast, go on a walk on the beach, then take me home and let me play the I Spy computer game on his work computer. He would always teasingly tell me not to tell mom about Waffle House, I don't think she would have been mad but it was fun to have something just the 2 of us would do together. I love my dad ❤️.
"Out With Dad"Giphy
When I was in middle school I was the only one willing to go shopping groceries with my dad, he didn't want to go alone and my mom was at school studying her master's. None of my siblings wanted to go with him. We used to go to Carl's Jr., have a big breakfast, and then we went grocery shopping. Nobody knew, not even my mom, until years later. He would also let me buy any cereal I wanted. That's actually how I learned how to buy good fruit and veggies, how to order meat and fish, etc. When my siblings found out they were angry bc "they would've gone if a big breakfast was on the menu". My mom just laughed. Nowadays they sneak to have breakfast together before going grocery shopping since we're all grown up.
"Dad watch out it's the 5-0!"
When my son was 6 I was playing Grand theft Auto late at night. He wakes up and comes to the living room, tells me he can't sleep, and asks can he watch me play. I say he can but not to tell his mom he agrees with a big smile. Maybe after about an hour he is playing and I'm watching and helping him. He can't stop laughing driving into people and running from the cops. I was telling him to watch out for the 5-0 and he asks me what that means, so I tell him it's the cops, he just shrugs and keeps playing. Now fast forward about a week later and we are all driving in the car. All I hear is a scream of "Dad watch out it's the 5-0!" And I absolutely start crying from laughing so hard all while his mother is questioning where he learned that. He just says "YouTube." She found out later that I let him play GTA, but I hope the memory of that is as special to him as it is to me.
"my kids ratted you out"
Female coworker of mine was miserable at work one day. I asked her what was wrong... she told me it was her anniversary, and she knew her husband had forgotten. She had pre-teen girls at home during summer vacation.... I knew her home phone number (pre-cell phone era). I called her home phone and one kid picked up. Explained to the kid who I was and that she needed to call Dad at work and remind him it was Mom and Dad's anniversary.... and don't tell Mom OR Dad I called.
The next day she was all smiles, gosh he DID remember, brought home flowers and took her to dinner. Mission Accomplished. Not a word was ever said about this....
Until 6 years later, when she left the company. She gave me a hug at a farewell luncheon, and whispered "my kids ratted you out. Thank you".
"It's My Time"
When my 3 year old wakes up in the middle of the night, like maybe 3 times a month, instead of putting her back to sleep okay her stay up and partake in whatever it is I am doing no matter what. Sometimes she falls asleep in minutes and some times she stays up for a couple hours. I think it's amazing times, I think it may even be dream like for her by the way she speaks and moves. She has painted with me, heard my books read aloud, watched lord of the rings and cooked creme brûlée. The rule is, it's my time so if she's gonna be with me she does what I'm doing just like o do for her all day long. She totally gets it and never makes it about her.
My goodness, thank you everybody for your comments and your awards. What a special day to be recognized as a father.
My dad and I (around 5 years old) were on our way home from a car show when we were getting followed by the cops. My dad struggled to put on his seatbelt quickly in hopes he wouldn't get a ticket. Unfortunately, we got pulled over. This might have been the first time EVER that I saw a cop this close up let alone speak to one. I was a deer in headlights the whole time.
Well, with a cop on either side of the car, the officer leaned in and asked my dad why he was swerving. That FOOL told the cops I was tickling him. The cops looked at me straight in the eyes and asked if this was true. I was too scared to say anything and just nodded yes. The officers smiled and said, "Never to do that again while your father is driving, ok?" They left without any further words and my dad gave me the lecture of 'don't tell your mom.'
tl;dr - Dad and I get pulled over when he tried to get his seatbelt on, blamed it on me tickling him instead.
I was having a good heart to heart with my step dad as a teen. We were chilling in the Shop where he does most of his odd job work, and by the end of our conversation he pulls out his bong and asks "Wanna keep going? But don't tell your mom she will throw my @ss through a window" Ironically enough the way they met was at a bar and my step dad was hitting on her and she said she could throw him across the bar, he dared her, so she did. He told me that was the moment he knew he would fall in love with her.
Edit: The entirety of this thread is so wholesome and wonderful to read it's taken up a good couple hours of my time going through all the stories posted here. Brought some happiness to this bleak time for many people and that makes me happy.
"Not the Puppets"Giphy
When I was younger my dad and I would always go to the movies together, it was our thing. I always looked forward to it. Also, when I was about 11, we would often watch family guy or South Park together; certainly not age appropriate, but nothing to terrible I don't think.
However one day he took me to see Team America: World Police when it came out (made by the guys who did South Park). I think he realized his mistake during the puppet sex scene, and immediately after said "don't tell your mom about this". RIP Dad, love and miss you!
Dad scratched the car after an idiot turned and rammed into us. He told me to just keep it a secret and he slid me a few singles to keep my mouth shut.
But she found out anyway lol.
"Song out but Quiet"
My dad sang "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" to us once, and we cracked up. So when Mom had a weekend business trip and Dad had to entertain us, he went out and rented Monty Python's Life of Brian. Mind you, he hadn't seen that since it was in theaters, some 18 years earlier.
Dad, at the video store: hmm, I don't remember this being rated R. Well, I'll be right there with the girls, I can explain anything that's a bit adult.
Dad, after the movie: Kids, it's very important that you don't repeat any of the jokes you've just learned about naked people or private parts, especially not at school... Or to your mother!
"goodness what is all that?!"
When we were kids my dad took me and my sister out on a bike ride. My sister had her own bike while I was sat in the kiddie seat on his. At some point we come to a stop, and I guess my sister was still a little unsteady on her bike because she started wobbling. In a bid to help, my dad leaned over to steady her, so much so that I flipped right out of the seat (in true 90s fashion there was only the single buckle to keep me in) and landed right onto asphalt.
I was fine except for the deep scrapes right across my face and abdomen. It was completely an accident but my dad panicked and told both of us "oh god don't tell mom" and ushered us home to patch me up.
He caught some hell from mom because he couldn't hide a face injury especially when it started scabbing over into an ugly mess but he impressively managed to conceal the rest by volunteering to be the one to bathe me and put me to bed every night. It got found out anyway a couple weeks later when we were playing with an inflatable pool and a family friend was like "goodness what is all that?!"
"Poop & Britches"Giphy
My stepson is 6 and pooped his pants yesterday. I was knocking on the bathroom door because I had to use it. He yells out "DON'T COME IN I HAD AN ACCIDENT, GO AWAY!" I asked him what accident? He said "Go to your room I had an accident" So I asked him if he needed help cleaning it up he said "ok come in then" I open the door and there he is underwear on the floor and a paper towel in his hand filled with poop. It took a lot for me to not laugh in his face. I was proud of him for doing a pretty good job of cleaning the mess. I rinsed his britches we got him changed and he told me to get the laundry done so we knocked that out before mommy got back from the store and she is none the wiser... We look like we did chores instead of playing all day.
My dad used to hoist my siblings and I to the ceiling in a garbage can with a come along and swing us back and fourth. Fun as hell, but "don't tell your mother."
I was in middle school, my father gradually bought computers and monitors for us 4 kids and himself and the 5 of us would play World of Warcraft together for many days and always log off one hour before mom got home. We'd rush all the chores in that one hour. That's when we had teamwork at its finest. She never knew we all played cause she thought it was the devil.
Edit: I've never had 1k+ upvotes before. I can't wait to show my dad how much love he's getting on Father's Day. Thank you! Happy Father's Day everyone.
Edit 2: thank for for my first award! My dad doesn't have reddit but he'd say this.
"I'm Bigger Now"
It was a series of moments, and we were crappy at hiding things from mom.
When I was very little, dad worked first shift and mom worked some evenings. Dad liked to watch The Twilight Zone and the like. I enjoyed them too, but would get scared after he put me to bed and they played hell getting me to sleep. Hence, mom ruled that I was not allowed to watch them anymore.
Every time mom was at work, I would wheedle until dad let me stay up late and watch his shows with him. I would promise that "I'm bigger now, I won't get scared, I'll go right to sleep". And every time, mom would get home from work at 10 PM and I'd still be awake, wide eyed and scared of the dark.
In the winter, he would put the toboggan behind the four wheeler and take us out into the fields and ride around. My mom found out after it tipped and my face got beat up and was bleeding everywhere. Fun.
Edit : A toboggan is a sled in the use of a item you slide down on in the snow
Edit 2 : Whoever gave me an award, thank you. Thank you so much.
Edit 3 : Ok whoever gave me gold is very kind soul.
"Away from Uni"
During the summer holidays from Uni, me and my dad went for some drinks down the pub. He seemed a little off and anxious. I asked him why but he was really cagey. Eventually he said he'd tell me but I had to promise not to let on I knew. Him and mum were getting a divorce. They were waiting until my sister's exams were over before they told anyone. Growing up my parents were always at each other's throats but the previous month or two had been really nice with my family doing stuff together. Turned out he'd been trying really hard to change my mums mind. Had to keep my mouth shut for about a week. Was a very weird time.
My grandpa (he's a father) took us fishing when my brother and I were 5 and 8. He saw a lure stuck in a tree like 50' up a cliff face on the other side of the stream and cast after it. Literally got his lure stuck on the same branch as the other lure first try (how?). Sat us down on the bank, told us in exact words that we were "never allowed to tell grandma about this", and put his waders on. Waded across the full runoff mountain creek and climbed the damn cliff with full waist-high rubber waders. Retrieved both lures, downclimbed it, came and got us and walked back to grandma cooking us dinner hand in hand.
I told grandma at his funeral. She smiled, cried, and was pissed at him. He knew what he was about.
"Miss you, Opa ❤️"
Granddaughter speaking on grandfather's behalf.
When my mom was young, her mother would always bake a bunch of sugar cookies and store them in the pantry until Christmas. After she baked them, my mom and her dad would sneak into the pantry one at a time and eat the cookies. After about 2 months, they had finished the whole batch. My grandmother went to fetch the cookies on Christmas only to find crumbs left. She was pissed, lol. Miss you, Opa ❤️.
My dad let me drive his car. At 10 years old. It was a few feet, but I ALMOST destroyed the garage before hitting the parking brake to stop it.
"well I've seen it now"
Not a father (mine passed) but as his daughter I'm sure this is definitely his biggest 'don't tell your mother' moment, with me at least, I can't speak for my brothers.
I was about 13/14 and had chronic insomnia. My dad worked nights so on his days off he'd often still be up late. I was burning some mix CDs on my computer and ran out of blank discs so I went into the lounge to go get a couple more from the cupboard. I walk in on Dad watching lesbian porn (I remember 2 blondes with huge fake boobs).
Dad flinched. I covered my eyes and for some reason thought to myself 'well I've seen it now' and made my way over to the cupboard at the other side of the room to still get those blank discs. Walked out without saying a word.
The next morning, Dad came down to me and said 'please don't tell your mother.' I never did. A couple of years later he got really sick and after about 10 years of severe COPD he passed away. I look back on this and laugh. It was gross to see, sure, but looking back it's funny. And it reminds me of a time when he was healthy. Damn I miss that man.
"Learning on Video"
Our boy is ten. I was his teacher the latter half of this Covid year while my wife worked and learned very quickly he is terrified on video calls. Last day of school all the kids were to do a live thirty seconds on the screen to say goodbye to their actual teacher in front of all the other kids in their Hangouts window. I knew our son would never do it and my wife was insisting he do. Big battles. She promised him a friend could stay the night if he did the call. The boy and I pre-recorded the audio and had a static image of him to look like the screen was buffering while I played the audio from my phone into the laptop. He got the sleepover.
My dad and I were emptying the car of a half side of beef to the freezer when I noticed that he was having some issues holding the packages and there was a thick bandage peeking out of the cuff of his shirt with some blood on it. I asked him what was wrong with his wrist, to which he replied "A glass shield on an electric meter shattered at work and slit my wrist. I had to get stitches. Don't tell your mother"
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! DAD HURT HIMSELF!"
"I said DON'T tell your mother!"
My dad taught me how to play "Throw rocks," where you toss a handful of rocks in the air directly above you and run away before they hit you. I was playing it one day with my cousin and got clunked on the head by a big one and bled all over my face and shirt collar. I went crying to dad and he paid me a dollar and a piece of gum to keep quiet about the throw rocks game and just tell mom my cousin threw it at me. My relationship with my cousin has been irreversibly damaged since then because I lied on him and he never wanted to talk to me again so we drifted apart.
"Outside of the Scottsdale, AZ city limits"
Welp, I'm a dad, but I think my best story would be from MY father. He wanted to take us outside of the Scottsdale, AZ city limits to see Halley's comet (it was a huge deal when it came through in the 80s.
We drove about 45 min north of town into deep desert. We spent some time viewing it, it was rather disappointing, and we heard dogs barking in the distance when we first got there, but they seemed closer. Then closer. It was pitch black, I think we had a flashlight but that was it.
We started heading back to the car, the flashlight was shined at a fence in the distance and about 5 terrifying looking dogs started right at us. We literally got the doors to the car shut as drooling, snarling, dogs started jumping up to the windows and getting in the bed of the truck. We peeled out, and don't tell mom about the dogs ok? Your mom's brother was almost killed and eaten by dogs when he was little.
"All Before 6"
My dad was a teacher and when I was 11, home for spring break, i decided i wanted to make home made donuts while my dad graded papers in the dining room directly off of the kitchen. He had my little brother in there with him, he was about 1 at the time.
I made the dough, I got the oil in a pan nice and hot and then turned my back for long enough for a fire to start.
I thought i could handle it on my own, and carried the flaming pot to the sink and turned on the faucet.
I can only imagine what it was like for my dad, sitting there calmly when a fireball bursts through the door.
All I remember is his hands grabbing me and tossing me outside, then chucking the baby out, followed by the dogs.
He put the flames out, looked at my hand (miraculously not badly burned at all) bandaged it up, drove to home depot, and had the kitchen repainted before my mom got home from work at 6:00.
I'm a writer by trade. Marketing for work, fiction for myself. Every night I tell my son a story before bed. Lately I've been actually been telling him child-friendly versions of my stories.
My wife wonders why he falls asleep so easily for me.
"While building the outdoor play set..."
While building the outdoor play set for my five year old, I drilled a screw completely through a board and into my shoe, barely stopping just as the screw broke skin. I swore right in front of him, something along the lines of "Mother-f****** f*** mother f*****." We are sworn to secrecy to this day.
"My dad was very worried..."
My dad has passed away so I'll tell this on his behalf:
My sister was maybe 10 or 11. My dad was very worried and had been waiting all day for us to come home from school. When we got home he pulled her aside saying he needed to have a serious talk with her. He said to her "I was looking for a pencil, and found this in your desk" and pulled out a plastic baggie filled with some dried plant material. She said, "oh, catnip?" He thought it was pot. We would make little cat toys with catnip and the bag had ripped so she put it in a ziplock bag. He sighed a huge sigh of relief and laughed and told her he thought she was doing drugs and asked her not to tell our mom. He was so embarrassed!
"The next day..."
This last Christmas my four year old helped my wife wrap one of my gifts. It was late so I was working.
The next day, while my wife was at work, she came running through from her bedroom first thing and yelled excitedly "daddy! Daddy! I helped wrap your gift it's a surprise it's a slushie maker!"
"Honey that's awesome but you aren't supposed to tell me that"
"I know, I know, but it's a slushie maker!"
"If you know not to tell me then why did you tell me?"
"Because I'm just so excited to make slushies with you!"
I was crying with laughter at this point and told her that it's an awesome gift but to keep gifts secret, and I told her we wouldn't tell mummy so she wouldn't be disappointed that I knew what it was. I ended up telling her that evening because it was just too funny and cute.
"My dad had this heartbreaking look on his face..."Giphy
I have a wholesome story of my own dad. I was born very early, at only four pounds. On top of that, or possibly as a result, I have a fragile immune system, especially so when I was young, and up until a few years ago, I got seriously sick (fever, vomiting, sore throat, the whole shebang) five times or more a year. I would become so dehydrated from vomiting or get such a high fever that at times, I had to be brought into the emergency room. As a result, I drank exclusively pedialite to counter that when sick, and I developed a serious distaste and hate for the stuff.
My dad was responsible for bathing me one night to help me cool down, I must have been six or seven at the oldest. We were on a vacation, and even as and adult, I always get really sick during or after traveling, and I had inconveniently gotten sick while we were staying in a hotel. I'd had a high fever, and my body was so sore and tired I'd slept for 24 hours, no one could wake me up, and I hadn't drank anything in that time. So my dad put in front of me a very big glass of pedialite and told me I had to finish the whole thing while I sat in the bath. I took it as obediently as I could, but a fourth of the way in, I just felt so miserable and mad that I started sobbing.
My dad had this heartbreaking look on his face, and stroked my hair, near tears himself. It was late, and we were tired, so he wrapped me up in a towel, and put me in bed with he and mom. My dad drinks a lot of mountain dew, and he told me that for every three sips of pedialite I get down, I can have a sip of soda to help wash out the bad taste, but don't tell mom. I never did, and it's one of my favorite memories of me and my dad.
"One night when I was about eight..."
One night when I was about eight, after I had gone to bed, my Dad was playing a Nintendo game, Legend of Zelda I think. We had both been playing it but we were stuck. He finally found a secret passage, paused the game, and came upstairs to wake me up. He told me he figured out where we were stuck, "snuck" me downstairs in a blanket (I'm sure my mom knew), and I got to stay up after midnight on a school night, hiding under a blanket, to see where the hidden passage went. It was a silly little incident, but very memorable.
"I have always worked in restaurants..."
I have always worked in restaurants and get home late nights. On Fridays I treat myself to takeout. Not just any takeout, the bad stuff... Cheese fries topped with Gyro meat, steak nachos with guac. Always a large, always with a big bottle of beer they sell singly. When my girls were little they would sneak down late at night and we would munch bad food and watch really bad funny movies with all the swear words in.
"It was my weekend..."
It was my weekend with my 15-year-old son; we had divorced when he was 10. We were at a pool party BBQ at my friend's condo complex and I had brought a couple sodas for him. The dude cooking the chicken overcooked it and was dry, and another friend had pilfered one of the Dr. Peppers so my son needed something to drink, I suggested he go back to the condo and find something in the fridge.
Then he pointed at the plastic pitcher with about a glass left of margarita, I said OK but don't tell your mom. I figured he would just take a mouthful to wash down the food but nope, he pounded the whole thing. I was like OK, well there wasn't that much in there so no biggie.
I said "Damn dude didn't think you were gonna chug the whole thing!" He was like "what, is there alcohol in it?" I was like "yeah duh it's a margarita". He said "but you guys used to make us kids margaritas when you had people over the house!" I said "Yeah, virgin ones with just ice and the mixer in the blender, not the adult version with tequila in it!"
Well next thing you know he's super chatty, actually talking to all my friends like a normal outgoing person instead of his usual teenage introverted small talk.
Problem was it was Sunday and I had to take him back to his mom's that evening. I was planning on getting chewed out about it, or she would find it hilarious, honestly it could have gone either way with her I could never predict how she would take it.
Luckily she was out when we got there and I told him to just go to his room and take a nap, he already fell asleep in the car on the way there. She was none the wiser, I think some time later he eventually told her about it and she did find it funny after all.
"My wife just laughed..."Giphy
One night I was enjoying a small bit of ice cream after my four year old daughter went to bed. She came downstairs and 'caught' me. So I offered her a small bite, but since she was supposed to be in bed, I said "Don't tell mom." She assured me she wouldn't. My wife wouldn't have cared anyway but it was a fun little game to play.
After she went up to bed and I was down on the couch, she snuck in to the master bedroom where mom was resting. She told mom that I had let her have some ice cream, and she was afraid of "sugar bugs" so could she please brush her teeth again.
My wife just laughed at me the next day. Little girl ratted me out to brush her teeth, something she doesn't like doing anyway.
"College was over a decade ago..."
My parents helped me out with rent during college. They'd send me a check every month for $800 which was honestly really nice of them. My mom usually does it but for whatever reason my dad did it once and spelled my name wrong on the check. Like "Alicia" instead of "Alissa" so it wasn't just a spelling error but also changed the sound of my name a bit. I didn't notice until I was at the bank in line at the teller already and I called my parents.
My dad literally said the words "Don't tell your mother about this" and didn't realize my mom was on the other line 😂 to this day he says he was just distracted and in a rush...
College was over a decade ago but my mom still plays the "At least I didn't forget what our daughter's name was" trump card now and then.
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It's highly believed that it is important to learn history as a means to improve our future.
What is often overlooked is that what is taught in history class is going to be very different depending on where you went to school.
And this isn't just internationally, even different regions of the United states will likely have very different lessons on American history.
This frequently results in our learning fascinating, heartbreaking and horrifying historical facts which our middle or high school history teachers neglected to teach us.
Redditor Acherontia_atropos91 was curious to learn things people either wished they had learned, or believe they should have learned, in their school history class, leading them to ask:
What isn’t taught in history class but should be?
The Irish Troubles
"Too many people in America do not understand why a wall straight through Ireland would be a BAD idea."
"I’m referring to the Brexit referendum and possible outcomes."
"If people were wondering why we were talking about walls through Ireland in the first place."- CLCVS.
Forgotten elements of World War II
"What the Japanese did to the Chinese during WW2."
"Unit 731."- CaptainMcBoogerJew.
"Japan gets off easy for their war crimes in WW2."
"They killed an estimated 16mil Chinese civilians and another 8mil soldiers"
"Also, Pol Pot."
"Didn't know who he was until I was like 25."
"Worst dictator all time (in terms of percentage of population he decimated)".
The truth about the American Revolution
"That the American Revolution was part of a wider cold war type of conflict with France."
"The American Revolution was basically the UK's equivalent of the US version of Vietnam."- vinsant7.
The Dark side of Swedish history.
"As a Swede, I'd like to know more of all the horrible sh*t my country has done throughout history."
"It's a damn shame we're trying to hide our history."
"For example, Swedes killed a metric sh*t ton of all Polish people when we were at our strongest."
"That's the kinda sh*t we don't get to learn."- mogwandayy.
"Basically what Belgium did to the Congo."
"A lot of people are telling me that they are taught about this actually."
"I'm glad to hear it because I wasn't taught about this in the USA during my public school days (1995-2008)."- EconArch.
The truth about "heroes".
"While teaching about historical Heroes they should also tell students about the unspeakable things some of them did."
"Many famous figures throughout history who are pillars of morality actually did many terrible things." - User Deleted
Intolerance for Mental Illness
"The dark history of mental illness treatments."
"I think it's worth learning about."- 7dayexcerpt.
"Slavic mythology in Slavic countries."
"Don't get me wrong, I love both Greek & Roman mythology and as a person from the Balkans both of those cultures are part of my country's history and had great influence over not only my region but the entirety of the continent & the western world but I wouldn't mind knowing more about Slavic mythology as well."- ShorsShezzarine.
The truth about the CIA
"How the CIA was made and all the shady things they did over the years."- ALargeChip.
There is a lot about the history of our world, not to mention our own country which shouldn't be ignored.
And it's from learning from our mistakes that we really improve our future.
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So apparently we are in the endemic phase of this nonsense.
We have light at the end of the tunnel.
So what now?
Where do we go from here?
Normal seems like an outdated word.
How do we get back to normal though?
Is it even possible?
What are reaching back to?
Those were the days.
If only we could bring them back.
Redditor hetravelingsong wanted to discuss our new normal in this hopeful "endemic" phase. So they asked:
"What’s something random you miss about pre-COVID times?"
I miss people being sane. Though that maybe election cycle issues not COVID. We'll never know.
I thought I was Alone...Black Friday Nbc GIF by SuperstoreGiphy
"Being able to grocery shop after 11 pm."
"Hell yes. I miss the days where the Walmart across the street was open 24 hours."
let's just go...
"I miss spontaneity... everything now seems to have a barrier of difficulty."
"I live very close to Disneyland so I have an annual pass. My friends and I would just go there after work and hang out and grab a bite to eat."
"Now, we have to reserve a day to go. And most of the time, the days are at 'full' capacity so we couldn't even reserve. I don't want to schedule to hang out at Disneyland for a couple hours for July. So yeah, I definitely miss the 'lets go eat at Disneyland tonight?' texts."
Not til 24-25
"Functioning global supply chains. Ah, the product you want has got microchips in it? 9 month wait."
"Minimum, I'd been saying for a while now that I wouldn't expect a true return to normalcy in terms of electronics prices till 2024-2025. Although Crypto crashing through the floor really took some of the pressure off graphics cards which I really appreciate."
"How affordable everything was!"
"Yep. Today I was bagging up my things at the grocery store and I heard the cashier say to the lady behind me 'thats $78.12.' She had -- 2 boxes of Kellogg's corn flakes, a carton of 12 eggs, milk, strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, a small cheese cake, English muffins, coffee, and a small whole frozen chicken that could maybe feed 3 people if the meat portioning was small."
"My favorite sushi place. It was good quality, close by, kid-friendly, and not too expensive."
All of this... it was a simpler time.
NASTYJanet Jackson Reaction GIFGiphy
"As a retail worker, just how f**king NASTY some people have gotten."
"They applauded you for being an essential worker but won’t vote for policies that’ll raise minimum wage while insisting a wage cap for heavily paid employees."
CHANGES your DNA...
"Some of the people closest to me became very bitter and petty over the last 2 years. So many people have the 'crazy eyes' now."
"So true and holidays with the family is like who has the biggest tinfoil hat building contest. How many jumps does your brain have to go through to think that the Covid vaccine CHANGES your DNA into the patented DNA so that the government now controls your body."
"So like vaccinated people now have a singular DNA set. I feel like I still have a chunk of my brain just broken off due to that comment alone. I was also told by same family member that I could never donate blood again due to the vaccine. I guess it is so my patented DNA doesn't affect people?? FYI my vaccinated butt just donated today fine and multiple other times after the vaccine."
"I'm resigned to never thinking I have a chance on owning property where I live. I'm 30 and just can't imagine it anymore. And I don't want to live anywhere else so, whatever."
"All Day Breakfast at McDonalds."
"It was honestly hell to do, and not very popular. ITs margins aren't anywhere dinner and lunch specials. ON top of that, the temperatures are such that They require its own grill, meaning that if you have 2 grills in shop, you are down 50% of lunch capacity."
Way back when...Season 5 Friends Tv Show GIF by FriendsGiphy
"Hanging out with friends. And I mean waaaaaay before Covid. Like 2006 back when I had some friends."
I miss the old days. Maybe we'll get back there.
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What do you believe?
Is there a GOD in the sky?
Is he guiding us and helping us?
Life is really hard. Why is that is a big entity is up there loving us?
Atheists have taken a lot of heat for what feels like shunning GOD.
What if they've been right all along?
Maybe let's take a listen and see what they really think.
Redditor __Jacob______ wanted to hear from the people who don't really believe all that "God" stuff. They asked:
"Atheists, what do you believe in?"
I'm waffling between G-O-D and nothing. So please give me some education.
911Role Playing Reaction GIF by Hyper RPGGiphy
"We need to look out for each other because help isn't coming."
"More than 2 decades ago, a priest was giving a sermon in my church and he said 'our faith requires you to believe without question. Why call it faith if you have to ask questions?' I haven't returned to church. Not until my wedding day but you know what I mean."
"When I was young I used to think that after death you would have access to a PC that you could see absolutely anything about your life. Stats, any question you had no matter how obscure, replays of moments, perspectives of others in relation to you. No matter what you wanted to know, if it was relatable to you, you could see it. I know it's silly, but as time goes on I just want it to be real, and I don't think I'd have any issue allowing myself to fall into that delusion."
I think nothing happens...
"Realistically, I think nothing happens. We literally experience nothing after death. Same thing that we experience before birth. We don't exist, so it's nothing. I think the tenant that we should follow while living is to try to be happy and healthy while minimizing the damage we do to each other."
"What I would LIKE to happen after death is whatever you believe in, exists. I think Christians should get to go to heaven if they truly believe in it, Hindus and Buddhists get reincarnated, and everyone else also gets to experience what they believe they will experience."
"'I would still experience Nothing. Maybe it's one of those things where at the moment of death their brain makes them experience what feels like an infinitely long moment in time where they experience their afterlife. I just think it would be neat for everybody."
"Best advice I received from a dear senior on their way out. 'You win some, you lose some' shrug. Nothing divine, life is that simple and wonderful, accept it and move on."
It all sounds pretty simple. Why are people so up in arms about Atheists?
WhateverBored Episode 15 GIF by The SimpsonsGiphy
"I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do."
Cool with Empty
"I feel this way about death. When I was 5, my grandfather died and my cousin simple said, he is dead, that means you are gone forever. Everything ends up dying, even plants and animals. I'm now in my 40's and still have this simplistic view of life and death. People think I'm ambivalent to life and death but it's just what it is."
"I think a lot of religious people struggle with the fact that we are all just swirling units of chaos. There is no grand plan or great orchestrator. I think that’s why people who are prone to religion are also susceptible to things like Q anon and the Cabal and all that. They REALLY want to believe that there is some almighty puppet-master who determines all of humanity’s fate."
“we’re living in a society!”
"Just be a kind and empathetic person not because you’re worried about some cosmic justice, but because it’s the right thing to do. If there is some being that created us there’s no way they actually care about believing in it or adhering to some rules from over 2000 years ago."
"Also a big thing for me is that I find the idea that you need religion or the Bible in order to have morals and ethics pretty dumb. It’s pretty f**king clear that most evangelicals have neither. But my main thing is being a good person simply because, as George Costanza once said we’re living in a society!' If you’re only a good person in order to make it to heaven you probably aren’t actually a good and moral person."
That's AllCircle Of Life Loop GIFGiphy
"You're born. You live. You die. That's it. After you die you cease to exist, the same as before you were born."
Believe what you want. We're all here together. So let's focus there.
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The list of what irritates me is endless.
I mean... breathing too loud or dust can set me off.
I'm a bit unstable, yes.
But I'm not alone.
So let's discuss.
Redditor Aburntbagel6 wanted to hear about all the times many of us just couldn't control our disdain. They asked:
"What never fails to piss you off?"
I feel like this article can go on forever. Let's get some highlights.
Wasted TimeNbc Im Done GIF by SuperstoreGiphy
"Meetings that could and should have been an email."
"Getting stuck behind people playing the lottery at a corner store."
"I also used to work in a gas station and you’re SO right. I f**king hated the lottery people. Especially since my store had a small staff and there was usually only one of us working at a time, which meant that I couldn’t get any of my other work done as long as they were there."
"And you’re right, it’s also pretty sad to watch. I had one lady who used to come in every day and spent hundreds and HUNDREDS of dollars on scratch tickets. One day, she won $200 after spending probably around $600 and she was so excited and saying she can 'finally pay her bills.'"
"No situational awareness. Job, home, shopping, driving. Think for one minute and go about. OBSERVE!!"
"My mom is one of those people who leave the shopping cart in the middle of the damn aisle and proceed to walk twenty feet away. After correcting her a million times to no effect I just walk away now so people don’t know I’m with her."
"Endless barking in the middle of the night, I love animals but that sh*t I can't stand."
"Endless barking in general drives me up a wall. One of my friends dogs was barking almost an entire gaming session the other day. I wanted to reach through the computer and smack him for letting it go on."
Kindnesscustomer service waiter GIFGiphy
"People being mean to service workers, especially if the workers are very young."'
All of these things. I hate them all.
Admit ItAdmit It Tell The Truth GIF by TV LandGiphy
"People who never accept fault when they mess something up. Like, why blame a million people when it was clearly you who did it???"
"My upstairs neighbors."
"I had terrible neighbors at my previous apartment. It was a one person studio for students, but her boyfriend was clearly living with her illegally and he was loud."
"One night we knocked n the door at 3 AM because of the loud music and an unknown girl opened the door. I just thought they were having a little party. But the next door I saw the girl living there come home with a suitcase after having been away for the weekend... Her BF was cheating on her in her own apartment."
"People who sit directly next to me at the airport, movie theater, any other place where you can choose a seat when there is PLENTY of other seating."
"I can’t YES this enough and the ones who can’t park for crap so they park so close you can’t open doors on one side of the car or the ones who park directly behind when you pulled through so the door won’t open to load groceries."
"People who try to restart old drama. Like I'm done with you, just leave me alone."
"Yep, half the reason I've basically quit playing one of my favorite online video games. People keep bringing old crap up or sh*tting on on someone who used to be our friend. I got tired of it so I just ejected the game out of me."
AHHHHH!!!move leading GIFGiphy
"People walking too slow in front of me with no way to get around them. It’s even worse if it’s a couple or group taking up the whole sidewalk. HAVE SOME SPATIAL AWARENESS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!"
Life in general pisses me off. I'm easy.
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