Let's not tell your mother about this, it'll be our little secret.
Chances are you've messed up at least once. But luckily for you, you had your dad on your side, and he was willing to do what it took to keep you out of trouble. And sometimes, if you ever caught your dad slipping up, you did your part, tooo.
After Redditor links-shield632 asked the online community, "In the spirit of Father's Day, what was your 'don't tell your mother about this' moment?" fathers lined up to share their stories. And those who aren't fathers shared memories of their own fathers!
"hey don't tell your mom, I'll get it fixed"Giphy
I was with my dad and we thought it was a good idea to start a small fire, on the porch, the wooden porch. It was made of mostly paper and we made sure to scatter the embers and everything but after we went inside and to bed, the wind must've kicked up because we came outside the next day and there was a giant hole burned into the porch. My dad just told me,"hey don't tell your mom, I'll get it fixed," he the proceeded to cover it with a small table. She found out anyway and we're pretty lucky that the house didn't burn down.
Saying this in honor of my dad as he is very old and does not reddit, he once cut the end of my toe off as a baby cutting my sharp baby nails and my screaming brought in my brother. Hey joined forces to get me all bandaged up and told my mother I'd banged it into a wall or trapped it in a door or something? My mum found out (and by extension so did I) when I was 10.
A wholesome one: for my mums 50th birthday he bought her a set of vintage diamond and pearl earrings and a necklace. I helped him choose them out. I'm never allowed to tell her just how much they cost.
Dad and I used to rent a movie each week for when mum had dinner with friends. Usually things like star trek or action films. One day (I was about 11) he came home with "Blade." We got about 10 minutes in and he turns to me and said "don't tell your mother about this, let's just say I forgot to get it this week". Of course I agree.
Fast forward 7ish years, dad blithely drops at the dinner table the fact that we watched blade when I was about 11. Silly dad thought there was some kind of statute of limitations on this.
"When I was 5"
Not a real "don't tell your mother about this" moment, but when I was little, my dad had a workshop in the garage where he'd do wood work. I'd come out and talk to him while he worked, and he'd let me sit on the car that was parked in the garage. He framed it as something that was so bad and edgy and we couldn't tell my mom, and I was five, so I believed it and felt so cool without actually doing anything wrong or dangerous.
"Out of Ammo"Giphy
My dad, brother, and I went out to these dunes near where I live with bottle rockets. We each had an empty milk jug and each took like 20 bottle rockets for ammo. Then, we ran around launching bottle rockets at each other. I was the youngest, which made me the hardest to hit, so I won the rocket war. But yeah, mom never found out
Daughter speaking for her father.
In high school, everybody was always busy at work or clubs, so I was the first one in my household to get home nearly every single day. Dad was having money troubles that he didn't want to disclose to anyone, so he paid me $5 a month to take the bank statement letter from the mailbox and hide it from my stepmom until he got home. It was the closest thing I got to an allowance.
P.S. I had no idea what the "money trouble" was, BTW. I was always the "don't ask, don't tell" person, so that's why he trusted me the most about this.
"figure something out"
We forgot my passport during vacation and were already at the border station when we noticed. My dad then said that we won't turn back but that he will "figure something out". Turns out he smuggled me successfully across 3 Border crossings without my passport. Before we arrived at home, he told me not to tell my mom about this.
"Quid Pro Quo"
Not a father but a story about mine. one day I decided to pull a sick day at school and came down stairs and saw that my dad was making a coffee, I asked him what he was doing and why he wasn't at work and he said I could ask you the same question. We stood in silence for a moment and he said I won't tell your mum if you won't. We had a good laugh about it and he let me have the day off.
"The Pre-Covid Days"Giphy
When my wife's at work, I will take my daughter (4year old) out for breakfast, then we will go on a small adventure around a shop of her choice and pretend whatever she wants, last time we went to a car parts shop and rolled tires around as we were freeing the rollings from monster, so far my wife doesn't believe her when she later on grasses me up. Tbh its the only thing pre-Covid i miss doing.
"WHAT IS HE DOING ON THE ROOF?!"
Dad was putting new roof shingles on. I was probably 3 maybe 4. I asked if I could help. He said if I could climb the ladder sure. I was always climbing so that was no issue. Climbed right on up and started handing him shingles. It would have been a "don't tell your mother" moment had she not come home from grocery shopping. After several back and forth of "Where are you" and "Up here mom" she figured it out and flipped out. "WHAT IS HE DOING ON THE ROOF?!"
Edit: I'm not a dad so I posted on behalf of my dad.
My dad used to wake me up at night when I was in middle school to watch Jack@ss with him. We would be absolutely wheezing with stifled laughter while my mom snored through it all. Thanks for jogging this sweet memory loose in my head, it's been a long time.
My son randomly walked to the kitchen, 3am (was finishing up some call of duty) and he saw me eating ice cream. So I got him a bowl and we were whispering like nerds (he was 4) and I said "don't tell mom" and he said "don't tell mom!"
Didn't do the dishes following morning and my wife asked who had ice cream, the traitor pointed right at me lol.
"Out of the Radius"
One for my dad.
My dad took me to my first MLB game (God I miss baseball ;_;) and told me not to tell my mom.
Later found out it was because the game was a good bit outside of the travel radius set in the custody agreement. They were arguing a lot more than usual at the time so he knew mom would say no if he asked about it, but really wanted to take me to a game. Told me not to say anything so she couldn't use it against him while trying to take him to family court again.
Luckily I didn't say anything and we got to keep sneaking away to games until the travel radius stopped being a thing. Dad still has the tickets too.
I took both kids out at around 13 to show them how to drive. Just in big empty parking lots or in the neighborhood but they loved it and I enjoyed a little secret with them for a while.
I had a similar thing, but we have a large yard (like almost 2 acres) so one year when we were dealing with branches from the yearly pruning, he let me drive the pickup to the back field. No big deal right? Well our pickup is from the mid 70s and our yard has a bunch of trees and cars scattered around. I should have hit something. The only reason I didn't drive all the way to the back was because I couldn't make it up the worlds smallest hill. Lol. Kept spinning the tires.
"Waffle House Tales"
Story about my father. When I was about 6 or 7 we were really hard up for money at the time, so we cut down on all expenses, saving change, ect. My mom would go out of town for work every other weekend. My dad would save up a few dollars over the weeks, take me to Waffle House for breakfast, go on a walk on the beach, then take me home and let me play the I Spy computer game on his work computer. He would always teasingly tell me not to tell mom about Waffle House, I don't think she would have been mad but it was fun to have something just the 2 of us would do together. I love my dad ❤️.
"Out With Dad"Giphy
When I was in middle school I was the only one willing to go shopping groceries with my dad, he didn't want to go alone and my mom was at school studying her master's. None of my siblings wanted to go with him. We used to go to Carl's Jr., have a big breakfast, and then we went grocery shopping. Nobody knew, not even my mom, until years later. He would also let me buy any cereal I wanted. That's actually how I learned how to buy good fruit and veggies, how to order meat and fish, etc. When my siblings found out they were angry bc "they would've gone if a big breakfast was on the menu". My mom just laughed. Nowadays they sneak to have breakfast together before going grocery shopping since we're all grown up.
"Dad watch out it's the 5-0!"
When my son was 6 I was playing Grand theft Auto late at night. He wakes up and comes to the living room, tells me he can't sleep, and asks can he watch me play. I say he can but not to tell his mom he agrees with a big smile. Maybe after about an hour he is playing and I'm watching and helping him. He can't stop laughing driving into people and running from the cops. I was telling him to watch out for the 5-0 and he asks me what that means, so I tell him it's the cops, he just shrugs and keeps playing. Now fast forward about a week later and we are all driving in the car. All I hear is a scream of "Dad watch out it's the 5-0!" And I absolutely start crying from laughing so hard all while his mother is questioning where he learned that. He just says "YouTube." She found out later that I let him play GTA, but I hope the memory of that is as special to him as it is to me.
"my kids ratted you out"
Female coworker of mine was miserable at work one day. I asked her what was wrong... she told me it was her anniversary, and she knew her husband had forgotten. She had pre-teen girls at home during summer vacation.... I knew her home phone number (pre-cell phone era). I called her home phone and one kid picked up. Explained to the kid who I was and that she needed to call Dad at work and remind him it was Mom and Dad's anniversary.... and don't tell Mom OR Dad I called.
The next day she was all smiles, gosh he DID remember, brought home flowers and took her to dinner. Mission Accomplished. Not a word was ever said about this....
Until 6 years later, when she left the company. She gave me a hug at a farewell luncheon, and whispered "my kids ratted you out. Thank you".
"It's My Time"
When my 3 year old wakes up in the middle of the night, like maybe 3 times a month, instead of putting her back to sleep okay her stay up and partake in whatever it is I am doing no matter what. Sometimes she falls asleep in minutes and some times she stays up for a couple hours. I think it's amazing times, I think it may even be dream like for her by the way she speaks and moves. She has painted with me, heard my books read aloud, watched lord of the rings and cooked creme brûlée. The rule is, it's my time so if she's gonna be with me she does what I'm doing just like o do for her all day long. She totally gets it and never makes it about her.
My goodness, thank you everybody for your comments and your awards. What a special day to be recognized as a father.
My dad and I (around 5 years old) were on our way home from a car show when we were getting followed by the cops. My dad struggled to put on his seatbelt quickly in hopes he wouldn't get a ticket. Unfortunately, we got pulled over. This might have been the first time EVER that I saw a cop this close up let alone speak to one. I was a deer in headlights the whole time.
Well, with a cop on either side of the car, the officer leaned in and asked my dad why he was swerving. That FOOL told the cops I was tickling him. The cops looked at me straight in the eyes and asked if this was true. I was too scared to say anything and just nodded yes. The officers smiled and said, "Never to do that again while your father is driving, ok?" They left without any further words and my dad gave me the lecture of 'don't tell your mom.'
tl;dr - Dad and I get pulled over when he tried to get his seatbelt on, blamed it on me tickling him instead.
I was having a good heart to heart with my step dad as a teen. We were chilling in the Shop where he does most of his odd job work, and by the end of our conversation he pulls out his bong and asks "Wanna keep going? But don't tell your mom she will throw my @ss through a window" Ironically enough the way they met was at a bar and my step dad was hitting on her and she said she could throw him across the bar, he dared her, so she did. He told me that was the moment he knew he would fall in love with her.
Edit: The entirety of this thread is so wholesome and wonderful to read it's taken up a good couple hours of my time going through all the stories posted here. Brought some happiness to this bleak time for many people and that makes me happy.
"Not the Puppets"Giphy
When I was younger my dad and I would always go to the movies together, it was our thing. I always looked forward to it. Also, when I was about 11, we would often watch family guy or South Park together; certainly not age appropriate, but nothing to terrible I don't think.
However one day he took me to see Team America: World Police when it came out (made by the guys who did South Park). I think he realized his mistake during the puppet sex scene, and immediately after said "don't tell your mom about this". RIP Dad, love and miss you!
Dad scratched the car after an idiot turned and rammed into us. He told me to just keep it a secret and he slid me a few singles to keep my mouth shut.
But she found out anyway lol.
"Song out but Quiet"
My dad sang "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" to us once, and we cracked up. So when Mom had a weekend business trip and Dad had to entertain us, he went out and rented Monty Python's Life of Brian. Mind you, he hadn't seen that since it was in theaters, some 18 years earlier.
Dad, at the video store: hmm, I don't remember this being rated R. Well, I'll be right there with the girls, I can explain anything that's a bit adult.
Dad, after the movie: Kids, it's very important that you don't repeat any of the jokes you've just learned about naked people or private parts, especially not at school... Or to your mother!
"goodness what is all that?!"
When we were kids my dad took me and my sister out on a bike ride. My sister had her own bike while I was sat in the kiddie seat on his. At some point we come to a stop, and I guess my sister was still a little unsteady on her bike because she started wobbling. In a bid to help, my dad leaned over to steady her, so much so that I flipped right out of the seat (in true 90s fashion there was only the single buckle to keep me in) and landed right onto asphalt.
I was fine except for the deep scrapes right across my face and abdomen. It was completely an accident but my dad panicked and told both of us "oh god don't tell mom" and ushered us home to patch me up.
He caught some hell from mom because he couldn't hide a face injury especially when it started scabbing over into an ugly mess but he impressively managed to conceal the rest by volunteering to be the one to bathe me and put me to bed every night. It got found out anyway a couple weeks later when we were playing with an inflatable pool and a family friend was like "goodness what is all that?!"
"Poop & Britches"Giphy
My stepson is 6 and pooped his pants yesterday. I was knocking on the bathroom door because I had to use it. He yells out "DON'T COME IN I HAD AN ACCIDENT, GO AWAY!" I asked him what accident? He said "Go to your room I had an accident" So I asked him if he needed help cleaning it up he said "ok come in then" I open the door and there he is underwear on the floor and a paper towel in his hand filled with poop. It took a lot for me to not laugh in his face. I was proud of him for doing a pretty good job of cleaning the mess. I rinsed his britches we got him changed and he told me to get the laundry done so we knocked that out before mommy got back from the store and she is none the wiser... We look like we did chores instead of playing all day.
My dad used to hoist my siblings and I to the ceiling in a garbage can with a come along and swing us back and fourth. Fun as hell, but "don't tell your mother."
I was in middle school, my father gradually bought computers and monitors for us 4 kids and himself and the 5 of us would play World of Warcraft together for many days and always log off one hour before mom got home. We'd rush all the chores in that one hour. That's when we had teamwork at its finest. She never knew we all played cause she thought it was the devil.
Edit: I've never had 1k+ upvotes before. I can't wait to show my dad how much love he's getting on Father's Day. Thank you! Happy Father's Day everyone.
Edit 2: thank for for my first award! My dad doesn't have reddit but he'd say this.
"I'm Bigger Now"
It was a series of moments, and we were crappy at hiding things from mom.
When I was very little, dad worked first shift and mom worked some evenings. Dad liked to watch The Twilight Zone and the like. I enjoyed them too, but would get scared after he put me to bed and they played hell getting me to sleep. Hence, mom ruled that I was not allowed to watch them anymore.
Every time mom was at work, I would wheedle until dad let me stay up late and watch his shows with him. I would promise that "I'm bigger now, I won't get scared, I'll go right to sleep". And every time, mom would get home from work at 10 PM and I'd still be awake, wide eyed and scared of the dark.
In the winter, he would put the toboggan behind the four wheeler and take us out into the fields and ride around. My mom found out after it tipped and my face got beat up and was bleeding everywhere. Fun.
Edit : A toboggan is a sled in the use of a item you slide down on in the snow
Edit 2 : Whoever gave me an award, thank you. Thank you so much.
Edit 3 : Ok whoever gave me gold is very kind soul.
"Away from Uni"
During the summer holidays from Uni, me and my dad went for some drinks down the pub. He seemed a little off and anxious. I asked him why but he was really cagey. Eventually he said he'd tell me but I had to promise not to let on I knew. Him and mum were getting a divorce. They were waiting until my sister's exams were over before they told anyone. Growing up my parents were always at each other's throats but the previous month or two had been really nice with my family doing stuff together. Turned out he'd been trying really hard to change my mums mind. Had to keep my mouth shut for about a week. Was a very weird time.
My grandpa (he's a father) took us fishing when my brother and I were 5 and 8. He saw a lure stuck in a tree like 50' up a cliff face on the other side of the stream and cast after it. Literally got his lure stuck on the same branch as the other lure first try (how?). Sat us down on the bank, told us in exact words that we were "never allowed to tell grandma about this", and put his waders on. Waded across the full runoff mountain creek and climbed the damn cliff with full waist-high rubber waders. Retrieved both lures, downclimbed it, came and got us and walked back to grandma cooking us dinner hand in hand.
I told grandma at his funeral. She smiled, cried, and was pissed at him. He knew what he was about.
"Miss you, Opa ❤️"
Granddaughter speaking on grandfather's behalf.
When my mom was young, her mother would always bake a bunch of sugar cookies and store them in the pantry until Christmas. After she baked them, my mom and her dad would sneak into the pantry one at a time and eat the cookies. After about 2 months, they had finished the whole batch. My grandmother went to fetch the cookies on Christmas only to find crumbs left. She was pissed, lol. Miss you, Opa ❤️.
My dad let me drive his car. At 10 years old. It was a few feet, but I ALMOST destroyed the garage before hitting the parking brake to stop it.
"well I've seen it now"
Not a father (mine passed) but as his daughter I'm sure this is definitely his biggest 'don't tell your mother' moment, with me at least, I can't speak for my brothers.
I was about 13/14 and had chronic insomnia. My dad worked nights so on his days off he'd often still be up late. I was burning some mix CDs on my computer and ran out of blank discs so I went into the lounge to go get a couple more from the cupboard. I walk in on Dad watching lesbian porn (I remember 2 blondes with huge fake boobs).
Dad flinched. I covered my eyes and for some reason thought to myself 'well I've seen it now' and made my way over to the cupboard at the other side of the room to still get those blank discs. Walked out without saying a word.
The next morning, Dad came down to me and said 'please don't tell your mother.' I never did. A couple of years later he got really sick and after about 10 years of severe COPD he passed away. I look back on this and laugh. It was gross to see, sure, but looking back it's funny. And it reminds me of a time when he was healthy. Damn I miss that man.
"Learning on Video"
Our boy is ten. I was his teacher the latter half of this Covid year while my wife worked and learned very quickly he is terrified on video calls. Last day of school all the kids were to do a live thirty seconds on the screen to say goodbye to their actual teacher in front of all the other kids in their Hangouts window. I knew our son would never do it and my wife was insisting he do. Big battles. She promised him a friend could stay the night if he did the call. The boy and I pre-recorded the audio and had a static image of him to look like the screen was buffering while I played the audio from my phone into the laptop. He got the sleepover.
My dad and I were emptying the car of a half side of beef to the freezer when I noticed that he was having some issues holding the packages and there was a thick bandage peeking out of the cuff of his shirt with some blood on it. I asked him what was wrong with his wrist, to which he replied "A glass shield on an electric meter shattered at work and slit my wrist. I had to get stitches. Don't tell your mother"
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! DAD HURT HIMSELF!"
"I said DON'T tell your mother!"
My dad taught me how to play "Throw rocks," where you toss a handful of rocks in the air directly above you and run away before they hit you. I was playing it one day with my cousin and got clunked on the head by a big one and bled all over my face and shirt collar. I went crying to dad and he paid me a dollar and a piece of gum to keep quiet about the throw rocks game and just tell mom my cousin threw it at me. My relationship with my cousin has been irreversibly damaged since then because I lied on him and he never wanted to talk to me again so we drifted apart.
"Outside of the Scottsdale, AZ city limits"
Welp, I'm a dad, but I think my best story would be from MY father. He wanted to take us outside of the Scottsdale, AZ city limits to see Halley's comet (it was a huge deal when it came through in the 80s.
We drove about 45 min north of town into deep desert. We spent some time viewing it, it was rather disappointing, and we heard dogs barking in the distance when we first got there, but they seemed closer. Then closer. It was pitch black, I think we had a flashlight but that was it.
We started heading back to the car, the flashlight was shined at a fence in the distance and about 5 terrifying looking dogs started right at us. We literally got the doors to the car shut as drooling, snarling, dogs started jumping up to the windows and getting in the bed of the truck. We peeled out, and don't tell mom about the dogs ok? Your mom's brother was almost killed and eaten by dogs when he was little.
"All Before 6"
My dad was a teacher and when I was 11, home for spring break, i decided i wanted to make home made donuts while my dad graded papers in the dining room directly off of the kitchen. He had my little brother in there with him, he was about 1 at the time.
I made the dough, I got the oil in a pan nice and hot and then turned my back for long enough for a fire to start.
I thought i could handle it on my own, and carried the flaming pot to the sink and turned on the faucet.
I can only imagine what it was like for my dad, sitting there calmly when a fireball bursts through the door.
All I remember is his hands grabbing me and tossing me outside, then chucking the baby out, followed by the dogs.
He put the flames out, looked at my hand (miraculously not badly burned at all) bandaged it up, drove to home depot, and had the kitchen repainted before my mom got home from work at 6:00.
I'm a writer by trade. Marketing for work, fiction for myself. Every night I tell my son a story before bed. Lately I've been actually been telling him child-friendly versions of my stories.
My wife wonders why he falls asleep so easily for me.
"While building the outdoor play set..."
While building the outdoor play set for my five year old, I drilled a screw completely through a board and into my shoe, barely stopping just as the screw broke skin. I swore right in front of him, something along the lines of "Mother-f****** f*** mother f*****." We are sworn to secrecy to this day.
"My dad was very worried..."
My dad has passed away so I'll tell this on his behalf:
My sister was maybe 10 or 11. My dad was very worried and had been waiting all day for us to come home from school. When we got home he pulled her aside saying he needed to have a serious talk with her. He said to her "I was looking for a pencil, and found this in your desk" and pulled out a plastic baggie filled with some dried plant material. She said, "oh, catnip?" He thought it was pot. We would make little cat toys with catnip and the bag had ripped so she put it in a ziplock bag. He sighed a huge sigh of relief and laughed and told her he thought she was doing drugs and asked her not to tell our mom. He was so embarrassed!
"The next day..."
This last Christmas my four year old helped my wife wrap one of my gifts. It was late so I was working.
The next day, while my wife was at work, she came running through from her bedroom first thing and yelled excitedly "daddy! Daddy! I helped wrap your gift it's a surprise it's a slushie maker!"
"Honey that's awesome but you aren't supposed to tell me that"
"I know, I know, but it's a slushie maker!"
"If you know not to tell me then why did you tell me?"
"Because I'm just so excited to make slushies with you!"
I was crying with laughter at this point and told her that it's an awesome gift but to keep gifts secret, and I told her we wouldn't tell mummy so she wouldn't be disappointed that I knew what it was. I ended up telling her that evening because it was just too funny and cute.
"My dad had this heartbreaking look on his face..."Giphy
I have a wholesome story of my own dad. I was born very early, at only four pounds. On top of that, or possibly as a result, I have a fragile immune system, especially so when I was young, and up until a few years ago, I got seriously sick (fever, vomiting, sore throat, the whole shebang) five times or more a year. I would become so dehydrated from vomiting or get such a high fever that at times, I had to be brought into the emergency room. As a result, I drank exclusively pedialite to counter that when sick, and I developed a serious distaste and hate for the stuff.
My dad was responsible for bathing me one night to help me cool down, I must have been six or seven at the oldest. We were on a vacation, and even as and adult, I always get really sick during or after traveling, and I had inconveniently gotten sick while we were staying in a hotel. I'd had a high fever, and my body was so sore and tired I'd slept for 24 hours, no one could wake me up, and I hadn't drank anything in that time. So my dad put in front of me a very big glass of pedialite and told me I had to finish the whole thing while I sat in the bath. I took it as obediently as I could, but a fourth of the way in, I just felt so miserable and mad that I started sobbing.
My dad had this heartbreaking look on his face, and stroked my hair, near tears himself. It was late, and we were tired, so he wrapped me up in a towel, and put me in bed with he and mom. My dad drinks a lot of mountain dew, and he told me that for every three sips of pedialite I get down, I can have a sip of soda to help wash out the bad taste, but don't tell mom. I never did, and it's one of my favorite memories of me and my dad.
"One night when I was about eight..."
One night when I was about eight, after I had gone to bed, my Dad was playing a Nintendo game, Legend of Zelda I think. We had both been playing it but we were stuck. He finally found a secret passage, paused the game, and came upstairs to wake me up. He told me he figured out where we were stuck, "snuck" me downstairs in a blanket (I'm sure my mom knew), and I got to stay up after midnight on a school night, hiding under a blanket, to see where the hidden passage went. It was a silly little incident, but very memorable.
"I have always worked in restaurants..."
I have always worked in restaurants and get home late nights. On Fridays I treat myself to takeout. Not just any takeout, the bad stuff... Cheese fries topped with Gyro meat, steak nachos with guac. Always a large, always with a big bottle of beer they sell singly. When my girls were little they would sneak down late at night and we would munch bad food and watch really bad funny movies with all the swear words in.
"It was my weekend..."
It was my weekend with my 15-year-old son; we had divorced when he was 10. We were at a pool party BBQ at my friend's condo complex and I had brought a couple sodas for him. The dude cooking the chicken overcooked it and was dry, and another friend had pilfered one of the Dr. Peppers so my son needed something to drink, I suggested he go back to the condo and find something in the fridge.
Then he pointed at the plastic pitcher with about a glass left of margarita, I said OK but don't tell your mom. I figured he would just take a mouthful to wash down the food but nope, he pounded the whole thing. I was like OK, well there wasn't that much in there so no biggie.
I said "Damn dude didn't think you were gonna chug the whole thing!" He was like "what, is there alcohol in it?" I was like "yeah duh it's a margarita". He said "but you guys used to make us kids margaritas when you had people over the house!" I said "Yeah, virgin ones with just ice and the mixer in the blender, not the adult version with tequila in it!"
Well next thing you know he's super chatty, actually talking to all my friends like a normal outgoing person instead of his usual teenage introverted small talk.
Problem was it was Sunday and I had to take him back to his mom's that evening. I was planning on getting chewed out about it, or she would find it hilarious, honestly it could have gone either way with her I could never predict how she would take it.
Luckily she was out when we got there and I told him to just go to his room and take a nap, he already fell asleep in the car on the way there. She was none the wiser, I think some time later he eventually told her about it and she did find it funny after all.
"My wife just laughed..."Giphy
One night I was enjoying a small bit of ice cream after my four year old daughter went to bed. She came downstairs and 'caught' me. So I offered her a small bite, but since she was supposed to be in bed, I said "Don't tell mom." She assured me she wouldn't. My wife wouldn't have cared anyway but it was a fun little game to play.
After she went up to bed and I was down on the couch, she snuck in to the master bedroom where mom was resting. She told mom that I had let her have some ice cream, and she was afraid of "sugar bugs" so could she please brush her teeth again.
My wife just laughed at me the next day. Little girl ratted me out to brush her teeth, something she doesn't like doing anyway.
"College was over a decade ago..."
My parents helped me out with rent during college. They'd send me a check every month for $800 which was honestly really nice of them. My mom usually does it but for whatever reason my dad did it once and spelled my name wrong on the check. Like "Alicia" instead of "Alissa" so it wasn't just a spelling error but also changed the sound of my name a bit. I didn't notice until I was at the bank in line at the teller already and I called my parents.
My dad literally said the words "Don't tell your mother about this" and didn't realize my mom was on the other line 😂 to this day he says he was just distracted and in a rush...
College was over a decade ago but my mom still plays the "At least I didn't forget what our daughter's name was" trump card now and then.
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As if being a mom isn't hard enough, why does society want to heap on more stress. Women who can breastfeed need to be able to breastfeed. They need to do it whenever and wherever.
This has been a contentious, dramatic issue for generations. Some people just can't handle a boob out in public. A boob that is nourishing a child, I might add. When you're hungry, you don't want to wait, so why should a mom, make her baby wait until a more "appropriate" time?
God grow up.
Redditor u/Brace4Landing wanted to chat about what women have to do what they do, by asking:
What are your thoughts about women breastfeeding openly in restaurants?
Ok!Cartoon Yes GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy
"Breastfeeding, sure no problem. Changing diapers on the table/booth/chair, no freaking way. There's a reason most bathrooms have a change table."
"As long as you don't leave your dirty flip-flops on the table that's disgusting."
"Last week I was at a cafe terrace and I saw a woman breastfeeding her baby and afterwards changing the diaper on the table (which was a tad odd since they have a nice changing room there). After she left I noticed she left the dirty diaper on her plate, didn't even bother to close it up."
"A baby can't scream with a mouthful, so I'd say it's a win-win."
"My son used to do the same. The thing is his twin would get right to feeding and would stimulate the let down on his boob too, so it would be 20 seconds of screaming and 30 seconds of vague drowning noises before he clicked that food was happening."
"The baby's gotta eat. Plus I don't even pay enough attention to other people to even notice or give a crap either way."
"I agree lol!! I've noticed moms breastfeeding their babies at a restaurant maybe a grand total of TWO times in my whole life, and I go out to eat all the time. However, I ALWAYS notice when a baby is screeching so loud nobody can enjoy their meal."
"I don't even mean just crying, I mean that SCREECH they do sometimes where if you're anywhere close to them you can't even continue talking, you just have to stop and WAIT for the kid to finish. (I promise I don't hate kids LOL this is just my opinion)."
No AdultsOh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy
"Acceptable if she's breastfeeding her baby, weird if she's doing so with her husband."
So far, so normal. Stay in your own conversation. If you're that interested about another person, you're sounding like a stalker.
WhatevesLet It Go Whatever GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"The more it happens the less people will care."
"I was once breastfeeding my daughter on the beach, aside from my boob being *kind of* out (mostly blocked by the baby) I was wearing shorts and a shirt, more covered than most of the people on the beach. Apparently a dude started watching me that I didn't notice and his girlfriend took offense to it."
"She started to approach me, but my mom was with us and gave her the stink eye to end all stink eyes. I have to think if they had been just a little more exposed to breast feeding this wouldn't have been anything. I'm also 99% sure that incident resulted in the couple fighting."
When in Public
"I walked with my head down the majority of my life because I felt like everyone was staring at me as I'm a very tall female. Started looking up a few years ago and realized how very wrong I was. I cared WAY more about this made up scenario in my head while assuming the worst and causing MYSELF to feel shame over it- than anyone else ever cared about my height. We're all busy doing our own thing and I don't think MOST people care about women breastfeeding in public as people think they do."
In the UK...
"I went to a mall in London, England once with a room dedicated for baby care. There were comfortable chairs and a microwave and sink. There were also little rooms with rocking chairs and low light floor lamps. Now, I would feed my baby wherever the hell I needed to, but this was luxury."
Free!Mothers Day Mama GIF by reactionseditorGiphy
"I'd rather a happy baby having a meal than a hungry miserable baby screaming and crying for nourishment. I am however against the restaurant charging an opening fee."
It is what it is. Be free ladies. Whatever keeps the kid quiet, works for most of us. Do as you need.
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Our society has a lot of strange ideas about masculinity. In fact, we have such a string of contradicting and misleading pieces of information on how a man "should" act that it has created a very emotionally stunted pool of men in the United States.
And it's usually traits that differ from this path of "most masculine" that, ironically, make us appealing to potential mates. When people look for a partner, they usually look for some preliminary signs of who that person is, and these are some of the traits that most stuck out upon first impression.
"What instantly makes a guy hot?"
Here were some of those answers.
To Make Others Feel Heard
"Learning how to actively listen is a wonderful skill to learn. Restating or affirming a statement or comment made really makes people feel heard. Great for developing rapport especially with coworkers, doubly so for the quiet ones."-Psychadous
It Must Be That Sweet Sweet Tire
"Blew a tire on the way back from a trip last weekend. Still had a couple of hours to go on the drive. Pulled over and changed it in about 15-20 minutes."
"Wife kept taking pictures of me while I was making the tire change. The remainder of the drive home, I kept catching her staring at me out of the corner of my eye."
"Fast forward 2 days later… walk up behind her in the kitchen and she's zooming in on a couple of those pics she took. I think she was into my basic tire changing skills."-bonediggler69
Just Simple Things
"Nice smile and eyes. Voice is also important too it can affect my entire attraction to him."
"Edit: by voice I don't mean stereotypical manly voice. I like different types, and so do other women. It's not a type per se it's just a voice. I can't say 'yeah I like all voices that sound like X' cause that's not how it works."-proncesshambarghers
Just noticing these things in a guy can really change your focus.
"He's funny. Not in a 'prank' way but in a clever word-play manner."
"He doesn't have to like what I like, but he allows me to like it without being demeaning or belittling."
"I dated a guy once who was very different physically from my type - but he was so damn hot because he was clever, funny and caring."-bunniesandacat
All He Had To Do
"Listening. My husband listened to me, listened to what I like and went on wooing me from there."
"Brought me my favorite foods and deserts, took me to my favorite movies, bought me tickets to my favorite concerts."--user deleted
"All she wanted was a day where she could do anything she wanted without hearing mom mom mom. Also at night on sundays I would draw her a nice hot bath and light some candles."
"The kids new on Sunday nights leave mom alone and I made sure she was able to decompress a bit. She was a stay-at-home mom and she needed to have that alone time now and then."
"She was my everything and I treated her like she was. Damn I miss her so much...."-StraightSho
"When he talks about something that he's knowledgeable and excited about without talking down on you for not knowing about it."-AllDogsGoToReddit
"So all the years of learning about animals, prehistory and biology weren't wasted..."-bigfatcarp93
Let's Play "Who Has Trust Issues?"!
"I'm a guy, but I've heard from women that being good with kids instantly makes a guy hot. I've heard from other women that it instantly makes him look like a creep. Idk. Lol"-IMeasureFromTheTaint
Yes, really just one of these things is enough to turn heads and generate some whispers about yourself.
It's That Calm Stuff
"Self awareness. Which translates into empathy for himself and others, kindness, honesty, deep conversations, A CALM ENERGY."
"Basically, a REAL nice genuine man not the ones who pretend to be nice guys just to get in your pants. Oh, and being a good dog dad or good dad in general."-yewcant_seeme
All The Kindness
"Being kind to people when he didn't have to be."
"Favorite quote from my favorite movie:"
"'I'd only give one piece of advice to someone marrying. We're all quite similar in the end. We all get old and tell the same tales too many times. But try and marry someone kind.'"
- "About Time"-Deviolist
Security In Masculinity
"Self-assuredness / a quiet confidence. It's incredibly unattractive when I see guys saying things like 'that's gay/ that will make me look gay/ men don't do ___.' Being confident of yourself and your masculinity is very attractive."
"(I have a friend who kept flirting with me in the past. He kept saying guys without facial hair look gay, and guys who wear short pants or anything remotely 'feminine' look like women. how fragile is that?)"-zanylife
It's not all of these things, but just one of these things that can move a guy up from a 1 to a 10 at the speed of light with no extra things needed.
Being kind goes a long way, as does clarity and self-confidence. Invest in yourself, and others will also invest in you.
Have you ever found yourself handing over some hard-earned money while wondering "why am I even paying for this?"
There are some things that absolutely should be "free" - or at least not an extra fee on top of some already-paid money. So let's talk about them.
Reddit user QadeerRay asked:
The responses were honestly a lot more varied than I expected. I was positive I'd see someone mention the places that charge you for using rain water - the literal water that falls freely from the sky - but there's a lot here that I hadn't even thought about and honestly, I'm kind of salty now.
Come, be salty with me.
Notifying People Is Expensivecreepy grim reaper GIFGiphy
"Death certificates." - redrivverrunning
"For me they were $16 each - and every single company that the deceased has an account for needs a copy."
"I learned to go in person to places like banks as much as I possibly can. They make a copy and give it back to me, that way I can avoid mailing it for them to keep forever so I have to buy even more official copies." - classic_elle
"In the state where I live, they charge you $20 for the first certificate and $3 for each additional one so the funeral homes generally suggest you go ahead and order 5-6 more than you think you'll need after figuring out their accounts and stuff because it's still cheaper than getting a single extra at a later time." - SilverDarner
"The UK government does have a service where you inform them of a death, provide them with the certificate, and they'll make a best effort to inform all of the person's banks and pension providers. It doesn't have nearly the number of companies being informed that I would've liked, but it's a good start."
"What confuses me is that other companies aren't jumping at the chance to be on the notification list... you'd think it would be in their best interest to be notified if one of their customers died so they can clean stuff up on their end. But oh well." - SweatyOctopussy
"Not really, (at least in the US) they would really only need to stop billing/autopay once they are informed of the death and it is confirmed. The longer they can go without that confirmation, the better it is for their bottom line."
"Source: Work in corporate America" - TheLastFartan
Looking At You, Nestle3D Loop GIF by Pi-SlicesGiphy
"Drinkable water. Looking at you, Nestle. The company has a history of taking over water sources and that whole formula thing was gross." - Whit-Batmobil
"Nestle financially pushed for hospitals in 3rd world countries to start new born babies on 'free trials' of formula feeds so the mother's weren't feeding & their milk would dry up. Essentially forcing them to buy & continue using the formula forever."
"To make matters worse, this was done in areas with no safe drinking water so babies that were only a few days old were giving formula mixed with unsafe water & many got sick/died as a direct result when their mothers could have just breastfed them safely and for free."
"Even when Nestle was alerted to this (as if they didn't already know) they refused to change their tactics. The company is scum." - now_you_see
In Publicbathroom GIFGiphy
"Using public toilets in Europe." - pretty_pumpkin
"Personally, here in Germany I find it is counter-intuitive. I think people resent having to pay for a toilet, and treat it like 'Alright, you're going to charge me €.50 for a pee, I'm going to get my money's worth then and just piss everywhere, because f--- you for making me pay to pee.' "
"This I find is especially true with toilets where the cleaning is 'automated.' On the other hand, you go into a lot of department stores, or a mall, etc, the toilets are often attended to by a person sitting just outside the entrance. Payment is usually optional (i.e. there is no turnstyle you have to unlock by putting money in), but it is typical to put €.50 or so in the dish on your way out... and in those cases I find the bathrooms very clean."
"Other bathrooms, particularly those along the autobahn, are actively serviced, but have a payment turnstile thing you have to go through. You can then use the receipt from the turnstile at the fast food and snack shops which are a part of the building, and you'll get the amount you paid at the bathroom deducted from your purchase."
"But overall public bathrooms are just terribly hard to find (paid or otherwise). Public pissing is common and basically unavoidable. You see it and smell it regularly." - Mozambique-Ready
Insulinmichael douglas greed GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy
"Insulin industry is actually hijacked by three companies and they're doing all they can to keep it's price high."
"It's not a luxury. It keeps people alive! Show some humanity."
"• Eli Lilly, Novo Nordisk and Sanofi are the three companies that dominate more than 90% of the world insulin market by value. This means that they can set prices as they wish."
"• Production cost of insulin is about 2% of it's market price."
"• Unlike any other medicine, there is no generic insulin. Insulin is still under patent after 37 years. 'Big three' producers are abusing legal loophole for over 4 decades. (Known as Patent evergreening)."
"• These companies make profit of worth billions. Not to mention they're spending millions on lobbying politicians and donating to other decision makers to keep quiet."
"• They pay another companies not to enter the market. Or they sue them. That's what happened to company called Merck. Sanofi sued them." - DogDisguisedAsHooman
Standard Bathroom Caretampons ugh men GIF by DiggGiphy
"Uhm tampons and pads in public restrooms, schools, etc. Freak I'm a penis carrier and even I think that sh*t should be free."
"You would be mad if you went in to a public restroom and there was a coin slot for the f*cking toilet paper."
"I don't think they should be free off the shelf. Everything requires money to make so in reality nothing is free, but this should be standard care in every bathroom just in case." - TripleThickBacon
We're Not Here For Funseason 8 episode 23 GIFGiphy
"Hospital parking. Oh, dad's dying? Doesn't matter. 5 bucks." - bdd4
"Where I live you go in for free, but they do charge to leave. If you get your parking validated, (pretty much just saying you had a reason to be there as a patient or visitor) you get to leave for free."
"They had a huge issue with people parking there for free, but not even being there for the hospital. Just a place to park as they did business or shopping downtown where the hospital is located." - Howling_Fang
"You're gonna love this. We as hospital staff have to pay to park the hospital as well!"
"I am close to graduating from a medical program and some area hospitals hire from graduates of our school's program over other applicants so they have meetings at our campus about working there and benefits, etc"
"the cheapest parking package they offered, which is still a MASSIVE hike to the door is $50 a week, the most expensive being $100 a week."
"They made it a point to highlight that their staff ride all the city buses for free with our ID cards and they bring you to the front door, so that's something at least." - xBlackx_xDahliax
The Dreaded PaywallPay Me Kim Kardashian GIF by GQGiphy
"Scientific articles. They're mostly behind a paywall."
"You can either subscribe to certain journals so that you have access year-round ($ depends on the specific journal), or you can pay for access to one article at a time. The latter is usually about $30-$50."
"As a scientist, this has always irritated me. People on social media everywhere reference blogs and other non-scientific articles, which are, of course, ill-informed and non-scientific."
"We should be linked to science journals when we Google - but then every time we're interested in some topic, pay $50 to read about it?? That's ridiculous."
"Even news media reporting on interesting results from science pubs get the results mucked up. You really can't trust anything but the peer-reviewed paper itself." - BrahmTheImpaler
"I firmly believe this is one (of many!) reasons why the US is full of anti-science/anti-intellectualism rhetoric."
"We keep information locked behind paywalls, creating yet another socioeconomic barrier for attaining knowledge. Even if the desire to learn is there, it means incredibly little without the ability to access the information." - sayhellotojenn
Buying My Info BackConfused Always Sunny GIF by It's Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaGiphy
"This private company in Germany just collects all your information (like a credit score) without your consent and the you have to buy all that info back from them because otherwise no landlord will ever accept you."
"There is a free Schufa you can request that once a year (so bad luck if your search for a home takes over a month) and it's also not the full one. Some landlords still demand the full one." - GreenKangaroo3
Seeing Is A Luxury?Glasses Seinfeld GIFGiphy
"I have insurance and I still have to pay (in my opinion) too much to just be able to see."
"It's not a luxury, it's a basic need. Also, my sight changes all the time so I can't even get a nice pair and be set for the next few years. If I'm lucky I'll get to keep a pair for 1,5 to 2 years before I absolutely need new glasses." - Proper-Literature173
"I think it's weird that vision and dental are separate from health insurance. Like seeing and chewing are just vanity." - FistedTate
"I can't believe how far I had to scroll to find this, I passed 3 waters and chicken nuggets. Why does it cost money to see? And I have 20/20 vision so this doesn't affect me." - Tian_Lord23
So tell us, what you YOU make free for everyone if you could?
Generations are sometimes a little confusing. What makes up a generation? Is it their ages or year they were born? Is it what was happening politically during the formative years? Is it the economic landscape that either afforded or denied certain life expectations? Maybe it's the technology that they had access to.
According to the Pew Research Center, it's all of these things and more. All of these factors can influence a generations understanding of the world and ultimately their thoughts as the move through it.
Depending on what generation you're from, you might have seen the drastic shift from records to CDs to Spotify, from payphones and landlines to cellphones.
Marked by technology and pop culture references, the older generations might actually look to Gen Z, the iGen, with pitty for never truly understanding the struggle of walking to school up hill both ways.
What are the struggles of the past that young people today really won't understand unless they were there to experience it? We went to Ask Reddit to find out.
Redditor Bagolyvagymi asked:
"What's something that newer generations will never understand?"
Let's see how much things have changed in just a few decades.
Hoping the plans didn't change.
"Meeting up with a friend at the movies and having no way to communicate once you've left the house—your friend doesn't show: is he coming? Should I continue to wait, standing at the precise spot we agreed on? Has he died? Did he forget? I'll call home using a pay phone and hope my mom is there to tell me whether he left a message on the answering machine."
"So much anxiety. But I feel like people kept plans more then. They weren't checking their phone to bail for a 'better' option. In general people met at the agreed upon time and place."
"They also bothered to actually make plans and had to stick to them instead of flaking out or faffing about with 'I'll just call you.'"
"I remember the first time someone stood me up because we hadn't texted same-day to confirm we were actually doing the thing. I was baffled."
"Now I would never plan something a week out and just expect the other person to remember and show up."
"I hate that this is a thing we have to do now."
"Worst still is when it happens and somehow you're at fault because you didn't text them to say your plans was still happening. I showed up. Why didn't you text to make sure if you questioned it?"
Parents trusted their kids would be safe.
"Parents not knowing where their kids are and trusting them not to get into trouble."
"My kids watched Stranger Things with me and they thought it was unrealistic how the kids would just go ride their bikes wherever late at night. I told them we used to do that all the time."
"One time I broke my collar bone in a pick up football game and had to ride my bike home. I was like 10 miles away. (That sucked.)"
"Come to think about it, it seems rare to have enough kids playing outside to have a pickup football game nowadays."
"And trusting other adults in the community to assist, snitch, etc."
"The busybodies do suck when you arent doing anything wrong, and when they breach trust. But it is also good when the general community does not turn a blind eye to crap stuff going down, nipping bad trends in the bud."
You couldn't just download or stream your favorite song.
"Having to buy the entire album to get one song you liked or wait for it to come on the radio and record it. Missing any part of the song was unacceptable and you had to wait until it was played again."
"Than the DJ would talk at the end of the song and ruined it."
"Or hearing a cool song for 10 seconds in a movie and not knowing its name and buying the soundtrack so you can have the whole song and it's not even on there."
Which made road trips need a whole lot more preparation.
"Having a 3 ring binder of CD's for road trips."
"The binder was for the ok music... The real good stuff was in a holder on your sun visor."
"One major tragedy I remember was when I took a sudden hard right turn and all my favorite CDs on the sun visor flew out my open window."
Patience wasn't as hard to come by.
"Taking pictures, then waiting for them to be developed to see if they turned out okay."
"Then finding the while roll of film is someone's thumb, cause they didn't know how to hold the camera."
"Or when you're on the other side of the country on a road trip with a friend, having taken some of the coolest pics ever. And then...the counter on the camera goes one number higher than the film should. To your horror you learn there was no film in the damn camera and the pics you've taken over the last week of your road trip don't exist."
"And you took one or two pictures, not a dozen. Film was expensive, man."
"It was a HUGE DEAL about twice a year to take a roll of film in to be processed, then wait. And wait. And wait. Until FINALLY! Oh god I look horrible. And no do-overs! God, the advent of the cell phone camera has CHANGED MY LIFE like no other invention, obviously I am old enough to remember 110 film (shudders) but medical advances aside, what a game-changer."
The satisfying phone slam.
"Slamming down the receiver on a landline telephone. Pushing the red button is not nearly as satisfying."
"Is you slam hard enough you'd get that little ding to let everyone know sh*t went down."
"I have an office phone at my desk that I slam daily after dealing with our incompetent sales department."
The VCR rewind.
"Having to rewind the tape before returning it to the video store or incur a fee."
"We had a dedicated video rewinder."
"Or video stores in general."
It seems like quite a lot has changed over the years. Maybe because of technology life has becomes easier, but seems like there may be some pitfalls to convenience.
Have we gone to far with our societal advances? Or does it seem like we are heading into a bright future that so many have dreamed of?
Only one way to find out.
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