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People Explain The Dumbest Thing They Used To Believe As A Kid

Photo by Gita Krishnamurti on Unsplash

Kids are super smart and super attentive, that is proven fact. But kids can be also just as dull as driftwood sometimes. The things we believe before we're adults, heck, the things we believe as adults is stunning. When dealing with the young mind one must be specific and detailed. When we're kids we take in everything literally; then we figure out how that affects us. It can be a daunting process.

Redditor u/AcceptableParfait171 was wondering what in the hell we were all thinking when we were at an age when we believed everything and anything. I mean, there are somethings that at any age, you do know better. The question was posed.....

What's something dumb you thought as a kid?

Sips Up....

family guy dont drink and drive GIF Giphy

That drinking and driving meant any kind of drinking.

juicehouse

I would get so nervous when my dad and I would get fast food that a cop would see him drinking his soda and arrest him.

WouldLoveToTalk

The First....

I thought Barbara Bush was Eve from the Bible. The news said she was the first lady, and I didn't know what else that could mean. And she did look pretty old from my perspective.

Pgwdgn

This triggered a memory for me. I thought my mom was the secretary to President George Bush. I remember hearing she was promoted to be a personal secretary to the head of her company whose name was George. My five year old brain didn't really have a point of reference for the amount of people named George.

sackia

Get that paper....

My parents used to say they worked to make money, so I thought their job was actually printing money.

thats-my-plan

Me too. In kindergarten I had to draw my dad at work. My picture showed him sitting at a desk with a pile of coins on top.

Foamie62

the big chill....

cold the shining GIF Giphy

I thought the term "wind chill factor" was "windshield factor." Like the weatherman was letting you know if you needed to scrape your windshield in the morning.

GeezItsJesus

Fibbers....

My brother is quite a few years older than me and liked to tell me little fibs all the time. Some of the more memorable ones include him telling me that our uncle invented hamburgers, and that lemonade has a little bit of pig pee in it.

LateEstimate6

My dad used to tell fibs like that. He used to tell me that when you sprayed a fly with bug spray it didn't actually kill the fly. It just blinded it so it would crash into the wall or if it was on the table it would just walk off the edge of the table and that's what killed them.

Ill_have_some_toast

Step Slowly.....

Escalators would consume me if I didn't step off fast enough.

seesnawsnappy

Ya I watched a guy get his shoe sucked into the escalator and a bunch of people had to pull him out of the mechanical jaws of death before he was some kind of happy meal for escalators.

lowercasetwan

Careful Dad....

When I was a little kid and my parents were driving I would see the car in front of us have these rear blinking lights and generally speaking, they always lit up pointing in the direction our car would be turning. How did it always know? I didn't understand what they were for so I thought they were there to give instructions on where to go to the car behind it (us).

After all how did my dad always know which road to take get to McDonalds, ToysRUs, etc? Obviously he was following the instructions provided by the car in front of us.

Hence, I'd always get concerned whenever my dad ignored the instructions the car in front of us was giving with it's little blinking rear light. But I figured my dad was just taking a shortcut because he was my dad and dads know everything.

*Edit*

For people asking/mentioning our car's dashboard blinkers I had a simple explanation for that. I thought the car in front of us was also transmitting a signal to also show the arrows in case it was raining or snowing and it was difficult to see the car in front of us.

thinknu

Blanketed....

tired good night GIF Giphy

That people would come in the night and cut off any appendages not covered by blankets.

I conveniently convinced myself heads didn't count (because that would be too gross).

Imadvanced

"I HATE YOU DAD!!!" 

My dad convinced me that before Kodak invented color drops for your eyes, the world was all black and white and that's why old films are in black-and-white.

Edit: I forgot the best part! Shortly after learning this, a classmate at school asked the same question I asked my dad. (why there's black and white films/photos).

So I answered with my new knowledge and the teacher laughed SO HARD.

I went home after school and waited on the couch for my dad to get home. The moment he walked in the door I screamed "I HATE YOU DAD!!!" and ran to my bedroom.

d1rtymccurdy

Damn you Poke!!!

hayden panettiere birthday GIF by HULU Giphy

That when I turned 10, I would be able to see Pokémon in the world.

My tenth birthday was a little disappointing.

UWYO-Agent-7

Lucky little monsters, when we were kids, finding a Pikachu meant your best friend was on all fours screaming

pika pi PIKAAAAAA.... as you yelled commands at them and threw toy poke balls at their heads. Rainishername

ashes to ashes.....

music video applause GIF by Lady Gaga Giphy

Being fired at work meant you were actually incinerated.

Master-Weather-9898

Only if you're fired from the Church.

klop422

Floaties....

An island was a giant piece of land floating in the ocean.

likahduhthehoni

My wife thought that until a few years ago. She's 39 now, so probably 35 when she figured it out. I told her mom that story, and her mom looked at me and said 'wait, they don't float?'. So I know where she got it from.

jules083

Size Matters....

Warner Bros Tom GIF Giphy

I thought my TV was too small to see adults in shows like Tom and Jerry and the Powerpuff girls.

rcegrceg

Thats a first! 

I was just thinking about this today actually. I don't know what reminded me but I'm even a little embarrassed today at how dumb I was.

When I was like 7 or 8 I was on a competitive swim team. I was pretty bad at it. I got a lot of participation ribbons, I'll put it that way. One day I dove in the water and thought "I should try swimming fast today!" So I did and when I poked my head out of the water my coach was standing there looking at me like wide eyed.

She yelled "Thats a first! You got first place!!!" I won the race. Or whatever you call winning at swimming.

Anyhoo, I randomly remembered that years later and it hit me. Like, wtf was I doing before that? Did it just never occur to me to try to win? What did I think swim meets were for? Just for fun? And why did I never try this new trick of "swimming fast" again? God I was so dumb.

Hysterymystery

Talk to me God....

I went to a Catholic elementary school. I was giving a presentation in front of my second grade class regarding how God created the heavens, the earth, the mountains... I never really understood how the timeline worked around all that, I just knew the basic bullet points of the creation story.

But then I go on some tangent about how upon the creation of Earth (remember, I didn't understand the timing around it and just winged it), God must have been a big fan of prominent historical figures. George Washington. Abraham Lincoln. Jefferson. Roosevelt.

My second grade teacher realizes what I'm about to do, and rescues me from the impending hurricane of ridicule I was about to summon from my peers. She hurriedly separates me from my execution panel, and in the privacy of the hallway, explains to me that Mount Rushmore was not a natural occurrence.

QuarantineTitans

until then....

I thought up until like 3rd grade that we were only learning about one side of the earth and we'd learn about the other half in later grades. I didn't make the connection between the big flat roller map my teacher would pull down across the chalkboard and the round earth everyone kept talking about.

krizkat

Coded

microwave cooking GIF Giphy

To microwave something you had to put in a code that corresponded with the time. I was really confused when I found out you just entered the time.

UwUthanizeMeDaddy

Easter Days

I thought foie gras was the fake grass they put in Easter baskets. I thought this even when I went into high school. I thought people hated it because it was a messy and useless waste.

Like, I honestly just thought vegans were a**holes who hated Easter.

EliasDontHurtEm

"Faux grass!" It makes sense!"

Friendly_Coconut

In the Womb

I was around 4 or 5, and from my understanding humans were monkeys in the very beginning. I got into a huge argument with a classmate because I was convinced we developed as monkeys in our mother's womb and eventually grew into humans before being born.

retropomme

Humans do sort of develop in pretty weird ways in utero. We have both tails and gill slits for example.

Respect4All_512

This is my space....

sad feelings GIF Giphy

That I was the only one in the world with actual thoughts and feelings and everyone else was just part of my reality.

Porcelain_Peony

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kids

People Describe The Most Traumatizing Thing They Ever Experienced As A Child

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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childhood

People Divulge The Real Reason Why They're Still Single

Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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being single

Chefs Divulge The Most Important Tips That Amateur Cooks Need To Know

Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

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cooking

People Describe The Most Inappropriate Thing They Ever Did As A Kid

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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