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People Share The Exact Moment They Knew They Needed To End A Romantic Relationship

People Share The Exact Moment They Knew They Needed To End A Romantic Relationship
Photo by Charlie Foster on Unsplash

Some relationships are doomed from the start.

But this might not always be obvious to the couple in question.

Sometimes, a relationship could last for months, even years, before one defining moment makes it clear that there will not be a future.

These moments might be things people can laugh about a few years later, or things they make every effort to rid from their memories.

Redditor donutnolikey was curious to hear the moment other members of the Reddit community knew that their relationship was dead in the water, leading them to ask:

"What was your “OH HELL NAH” moment in a relationship that made you leave?"


People are not always who they appear to be.

"I dated a guy who’s ex left him randomly one morning, kissed her goodbye for work and came back and her sh*t was gone."

"Changed her number, and moved back home."

"He never talked to her again, I thought it was super sad and messed up for what she did."

"He use to wake up in the morning crying over her, I pathetically just comforted him."

"But one day I woke up to him emailing his ex girlfriends mother saying he was going to come down to Seattle and kill them all!"

"It wasn’t much later I found out he was served a restraining order from the family."

"Now I see why she left without saying goodbye."- Tay14073.

"We were making out at his house and he kept pressuring me to have sex."

"I was still a young, naive virgin so I refused."

"We started watching a movie instead."

"I went to the bathroom and he stole my car keys."

"Once I was back on the couch he started trying to take off my clothes."

"I was scared so I grabbed my purse to leave."

"That's when he jingles my keys."

"He said I could have them back once I slept with him. I just ran outside and called my dad."

"My dad showed up and threatened to beat his a** if my keys weren't returned."

"Got my keys and got the f*ck out."

"He continued to stalk me for the next 7 years."- UnicornQueefsGlitter.

happy in love GIF by Lifetime Giphy

Couldn't wait to get married.... to someone else.

"She stole my car, drove it from Washington to Las Vegas, and married a guy she met on Xbox Live so he could get residence."- Reverend179.

Came back an entirely different person.

"She went on vacation to have a spiritual awakening by doing drugs in the jungle and came home accusing me of being a demon."- Modifiedpoutine.

"There was a lot of crap but this was the final straw."

"I locked the door before going to bed one night when he was out late with friends."

"He had lost his house key and never bothered to mention it, which was somehow my fault."

"He woke me up by banging on the window and when I let him in began screaming and throwing things at me."

"Telling me to pack up my sh*t and leave and locked me out of our bedroom."

"I slept on the couch."

"Next morning he acted completely normal, like nothing had happened."

"I was gone that day because I no longer felt safe."- swiftsafflina.

More than they could handle

"I woke up at 3am to my partner of 11 years muttering at me when he thought I was asleep."

"His tone was so dark and disturbing I felt that if I hadn't woken up to hear him I may not have woken up at all."

"He wasn't loud so maybe it was the way he was speaking that made me wake up like I did but my brain was immediately on high alert."

"I snapped awake and alert in an instant and just knew that I should just stay still and quiet and not let him know I was awake."

"What came out of him where all sorts of wild accusatory delusions spat at me with so much venom that 6 years later I still clearly remember the feeling of dread that washed over me."

"My whole body was weighed down with it."

"Our relationship wasn't a great one by any means but it was the first time I genuinely felt afraid of what he would do."

"I was afraid to speak up but also afraid that if I stayed quiet and let him keep on his rambling that it could progress into something worse and if it came to it I could never have fought him off."

"That's when it really clicked to me how seriously he needed professional intervention and that I was not only unable to help him but also that I needed to get out from under the same roof as him as soon as possible."

"Paranoid schizophrenia is a b*tch and the available mental health care in our area is a joke."- Wonkeynut.

Delayed validation.

"She crawled through my doggie door at 1:30 am, went through my phone, and then asked me why I was talking to another woman."

"Oh, I forgot to mention that I broke up with her a month earlier."

"We were not in a relationship when she pulled that stunt."- OLPopsAdelphia.

On My Way Cat GIF Giphy

Over sharing?

"My ex would tell me about all the dreams he was having about killing me in vivid detail."- slightjudgment_.

Gaslighting, much?

"My ex would lie about sh*t and make me question my own reality."

"F*ck you bruh."- Suwaveh.

sally kohn gaslight GIF by The Opposite of Hate Giphy

Lack of sympathy.

"Ex wife started an argument with me one morning when I was headed to the funeral of a childhood friend."

"I asked if she could not do this right now."

"Her response was “ohhhh, poor you.”

"That was the beginning of the end."- Slydermv.

To assume makes an a** out of you and me...

"Was with my ex for six years."

"We had a shared apartment and when I came home from work one evening he was standing in front of the door with packed suitcases."

"I asked what was going on and he said he could no longer be in a relationship with me because he wanted children at some point and he could not imagine a life without."

"I replied completely perplexed that I also want to have children someday and that he knew that."

"Surprise: he assumed in all seriousness that I could not breastfeed children with my A cup breasts and that our child would starve miserably because too little milk fits into my tatas."

"He didn't break up with me that night, I did."- Dangerous_Slice6032

At some point, you just have to cut the chord.

"My boyfriend at the time has given me forewarning that his mother will move in with us after marriage."

"He’s a mummy’s boy."

"I acknowledge this is not a dealbreaker for other people but I accepted this is mine and responsibly walked away."- Tiarakitty

Listen Mothers Day GIF by Cartoon Hangover Giphy

A sad and dangerous secret.

"I lived in a pub at the time with my then wife."

"I ran it while she had another job."

"She'd come home from a bad day and scream at me in front of the customers."

"She used to go to house parties and stay out all night."

"I later found out shed stolen stock and was on coke."

"Then the final straw was when she punched me in the face 'in her sleep' giving me a black eye."

"The next night i wake up to her making weird angry sounds."

"Thinking she was having a nightmare i tried to comfort her."

"All I hear in the silence and darkness was 'you make my skin crawl'."

"'Touch me again and I'll give you another black eye'."

"She left the next day before I woke up, having cleared out the safe of all the cash."

"I couldn't pay the staff, or the brewery fees."

"The business folded a month or so afterwards and I ended up tending bar elsewhere."

"I never cheated, didn't lie to her, never ever raised a fist to her let alone hurt her."

"I was sure i had done something to cause it.. was I a bad husband?"

"Turned out she had raging bi polar disorder and some other issues she had kept a secret from me our entire relationship and was off her meds for years.'

"Genuine fear."- Haunted_Entity

Sometimes it takes another pair of eyes to see clearly

"Basically his cousin told me my ex used to physically intimidate his ex gf of 5 years."

"This was after he lied about his ex ever existing, and lied about being with her for 5 years, and lied about how they were not friends."

"What broke the camels back was when one morning while I was working from home he asked to go get coffee together."

"I drove us, because he never wanted to drive."

"As we were driving he kept asking me leading questions if I was happy and I told him: 'I am having a stressful morning, could we get back to this important conversation later in the day, when I can be emotionally prepared?'”.

"He began yelling, screaming and punching the center console of my car."

"He then opened the car door to attempt to jump out of the moving vehicle."

"I stopped the car and caught my breath."

"I drove us back home and began packing my things."

"I stayed the night at his cousins house and he revealed to me that this wasn’t the first time."

"I’ve never cried harder in my life because so much made sense."

"My ex practically spoke non stop about his ex and I was 19, he was 24."

"U didn’t have a concept of boundaries, manipulation, healthy relationships, etc."

"Once his cousin revealed that: everything clicked."

"Why he felt guilty about his ex, why he was paranoid about people hurting him, why he was unable to have stable moods."

"I left as quickly as I could and never looked back."- OhmeOhmy7202

How insensitive can you get?

"My (now ex) wife, I'll call her Beth, had an ex boyfriend reach out to her on social media."

"I found out later turned into phone calls."

"All of which she tried hiding from me.:

"Which is bad enough."

"My mom had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer (and I was the lucky one who got to tell her!) and decided she wanted to die in her home state."

"Couple weeks later, Beth tells me she thinks i should fly up to visit my mom for a long weekend, and told me she booked a ticket for me."

"The night before the flight, she says we need to talk."

"She tells me she has been talking to her ex, and she's going to fly out to visit him 'to find out if she has feelings for him', she'd be staying at his house while she's there, and she 'can't say it won't be in the same bed'."

"Yes, while I was still trying to process my emotions and feelings about my mom dying, and while I would be visiting my mom, my ex was going to go visit her ex boyfriend, and stay at his house during the visit."- Wick_E_Scratch

There are those who look for a sign, as to whether or not they should stay in their relationship.

And when their sign is as bizarre and unsettling as several of the above stories, it might make them all the more grateful to have gotten out when they did.

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

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Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?