Woman's Story About Unleashing A Rancid Fart In A Cave As A Kid And Setting Off Her Own 'Karen' Mother Is The Ultimate Cringe-Fest
Atmospheric changes inside caves can unleash winds powerful enough to knock the hat off of a tourist.
But the powerful stench of a young girl's fart in tight quarters can knock tourists unconscious.
According to this woman, one of her first traumatic memories going through puberty was passing serious gas while visiting Mammoth Cave National Park.
The stench was so rancid, it even prompted her clueless mother Karen to behave like the characteristics of the eponymous meme by demanding some answers from their tour guide.
The memory from that episode still haunts Redditor "Amacrum" to this day.
The original poster (OP) shared her gassy story in the TIFU (Today I F*d Up) SubReddit and emphasized that her subterranean tushy cough happened years ago.
"Obligatory this didn't happen today.. It happened about 23 years ago but it was my first traumatic cringe."
"I was twelve. Picture what it would look like if Wednesday Addams really was genuinely dying to get into the Babysitters Club. Yup that's me."
"Having my second period ever, complete with Satan's tsunami of pain and f*ckery happening to my insides."
"My family decided this is when were going to go visit Mammoth Cave National Park. I'm still in that stage when I'm embarrassed by my period/ sure that everyone everywhere just KNOWS it's shark week for me."
"(We're traveling light by my parents insistence so when I need a pad it's off to hassle dad to dig one out of his fanny pack and make the mortified trek to the bathroom. That's it's own tween trauma.)"
"We're taking the cave tour and in one of those really tight places with a horrible name like 'Fat man's death' and all hell is brewing in my gut."
"Audible growling like hellhounds begging to be freed, loud enough for the people next to me to get that shifty eyed wtf look."
"At the time I'm 4'11" maybe a hundred lbs and all that stands between the world and the nuclear bomb in my gut is THE CLENCH."
"I clenched you guys. I clenched through so much of the longest cave system in the world (Google it) and I just couldn't f*ckin do it anymore. I fell victim to the oldest myth we tell ourselves... Just let a lil out. Just a little and I'll feel so much better...."
The proverbial flood gates opened and nothing could prevent the olfactory emission from assaulting everyone's nostrils.
"So I did...And I didn't. I cracked the door, but all the demons escaped. What came out was the most inexplicably silent fart accompanied by the most rancid smell I've ever smelled."
"The kind that immediately makes you think it couldn't possibly have come from your own body... Or any living body."
"Immediately there was shuffling as it hit the polite people around me and they tried to avoid overly embarrassing the green skinned little girl with the demon gut it had to have come from."
Enter the OP's mother, whose name is a popular meme used to insult entitled White women who often complain in public and ask to speak to a manager.
"This is where my mother comes into play. There's one thing you must know about my mother. Her name is Karen. Legend has it she is the original."
@MeghanMcCain Official Know Your Meme Moment: "Meghan" is a Karen with a plus-sized attitude. https://t.co/0SnHyJ2Ncg— Ministry of Information - Cosmopolitan Control🥯 (@Ministry of Information - Cosmopolitan Control🥯)1581525205.0
"If I had a dime for every manager spoken to while her family sat red faced, pleadingly apologizing with their eyes (blink twice for help) I'd be a Scrooge McDuck rich."
The mother inquired the tour guide about the source of the toxic airborne event.
"So here we are stewing in rancid hellfire corpse level stank and my mother asks the poor teenage tour guide (who is trying not to gag) 'Are there Sulfur deposits down here? I smell sulfur.'"
"Silence. A few discreet glances at the miserable little girl from polite strangers."
"No ma'am, no sulfur in this part of the cave system."
"My mother is never wrong. Not even when she's wrong. She insists...'That can't be right. I smell sulfur.'"
"No ma'am. No Sulfur."
"If there was a manager nearby we'd have already been speaking to them. She's getting very upset because she's obviously RIGHT she obviously smells Sulfur and this ridiculous teenager doesn't know what the hell he's taking about."
"The back and forth goes on. Forever. Her insistence that she's right keeps ratcheting up. That poor bastard."
"To his credit he glanced at me, and did the kindest thing that kept me from just completely shriveling up and dying on the spot."
"He plastered a queasy grin on his face and said, 'You know what ma'am maybe there's is Sulfur down here I'm going to double check on that as soon as we get back. Maybe I'll learn something new today.'"
"The cringe was so full on I don't remember anything else about that day. It's a blank."
"On that fateful day I learned never to trust a fart, that cringe that deep in the early tweens leaves a little scar tissue on your soul, and that the kindness of strangers is a very real thing."
And there you have it.
Redditors imagined the horrors of being one of the tourists reckoning with the punishment nobody deserves.
"Farting in a cave is like the ultimate dutch oven. Everybody's just trapped in there with it." – rj4001
Who doesn't love a good fart story?
"I dropped rancid ass in an airplane hangar when in college...It cleared the area immediately around me...then the cloud drifted, but retained sufficient concentration to clear out ANOTHER group across the hangar about 5 minutes later."
"Not gonna lie...I'm pretty proud of that one." – 0xD153A53
"My friend has a story from when he was on a tour bus in Morocco and someone let out a quiet but deadly fart. the tour guide stopped mid sentence and said with a very strong accent "Ah, silent but violent..." – homebrandsoap
"I farted in front of my ex's son. He was startled and asked what the noise was. I told him my butt sneezed. Without missing a beat he says 'oh well then bless you!'"
"That kid is gonna go far." – freyjathebloody
"I'm a second-generation butt duster and man, there are some times I wonder what exists in my gut."
"I went with my mom and step-dad to get a cake for my Sweet 16 and for some reason had some raunchy internals that day. We were talking to the clerk at the bakery when I let out a silent(?) but toxic cloud, which my family, myself, and the clerk all were hit by at once."
"I had to deal with my step-father quietly gagging, my mother turning beet red, and the poor clerk trying to not be ill over the little cake book while simultaneously doing my best not too pee myself from holding in laughter. And it stuck with us the entire time we were there, so about 5 minutes at least."
"I still get a tongue lashing from my mom about that one, she was so embarrassed (I can give her crap now because her colostomy bag likes to be a mini bagpipe)."
"I think that time and the time my charter bus fart managed to make at least 50 other band students sick (including our directors) are tied." – Iradelle
Now, this is a cute catchphrase.
"When our daughter was a toddler my husband used to say 'catch that and paint it green' after a fart. Kids repeat everything and she repeated the phrase in her daycare after she tooted."
"It was a awkwardly funny moment when I picked her up and had to answer-the question. 'What does catch that and paint it green mean?"'– mellentheorchadork
This Redditor believes that clenching is the last thing you should be doing when a toxic storm is brewing in your colon.
"This is honestly how a fart should be dealt with. I have stomach issues, and can't control my farts well. Some days it's just like a machine gun.
"On those bad days, I just start laughing like crazy as my wife just shakes her head. She's gotten used to it, and some times will laugh as well."
"The worst is when you are at work and gotta let one out. But when I'm having stomach issues, some times they'll slip out when I try to head to the bathroom. Some days they'll just slip and make the loudest fart you've ever heard."
"I was standing outside with a few friends once, and it happened. Instantly, everyone just burst out laughing about it."
"Farting isn't something to be ashamed of, and it can actually cause you some damage if you hold it in. I say we should just the wind flow freely, but keep an freshener near you though!" – StrangerFeelings
Conditions inside caves are ideal for some things and not so much for others.
"Caves are usually humid. The moisture in the air traps the fart molecules and it floats in place like a cloud on a windless day. Prime dusting territory. I really need to visit a cave again." – Pi-stache-io
What an epic burn.
"My mom always said she can't fart cause women don't get a**holes til they get married." – DownToFarm
Didn't Karen talk about periods?
"That might explain how you felt about your period too. I felt so comfortable telling people I had it, and especially with my family."
"My dad would buy pads for me often. But, my mom talked about periods from before I can remember, so to me it was just a normal thing before I got it."
"I'm sorry that your mom caused you so much trouble." – boo29may
Which one is worse? The wrath of a Karen, or the fury of the foulest flatulence?
Even television personalities are not immune to normal human bodily functions.
And when those moments happen—they just gotta happen.
Even if it's on Live TV.
During a segment on her self-titled talk show regarding football player Odell Beckham Jr., regarding an arrest warrant out for him after "a video from the LSU locker room shows him slapping the butt of an officer who resisted the urge to punch him," Wendy Williams let out a long, slow fart and continued on like nothing happened.
For streamlined, quality fart time, skip to around 9:25. You shall be rewarded.
Of course, fans noticed—you can't get away with anything on the internet these days.
And they, as one fan put it, are "unable."
Wendy Williams really farted on live TV. I am unable. https://t.co/rZBLijgauZ— Psyflop (@Psyflop)1579440228.0
Sis didn’t even try to hide it https://t.co/Qf7xuAstgZ— Psyflop (@Psyflop)1579440360.0
Wendy Williams let out the wettest fart on her show yesterday sksksksjs— R.I.P Betty White (@R.I.P Betty White)1579367542.0
Wendy Williams just let one out on live TV. 😂 Now don't you act like you don't fart nah what i'm saying 😂 https://t.co/wQAzwrn4Qd— Sleek Whizz🦂 (@Sleek Whizz🦂)1579499227.0
Did Wendy Williams really fart on tv or did one of y’all edit that? Cuz if she did... 😭😂— 𝕊𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕦 (@𝕊𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕙𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕦)1579487992.0
People were wondering how the audience must have felt.
Tha audience after Wendy Williams let out the mean wet fart on live tv https://t.co/id1RwygRnD— Jay Tanjiro (@Jay Tanjiro)1579504684.0
@sternshow @HowardStern @shalomshuli @brenthatley @Siriusjay Is it just me or Did Ms @WendyWilliams fart on Live tv… https://t.co/OKQN7lmhR0— erick (@erick)1579369678.0
She actually farted and it was loud af. Lmao catch it at the 9:28 mark🤣😂🤣😂 https://t.co/liQkvOpj6a— Clinton-Clan (@Clinton-Clan)1579488277.0
i just saw wendy williams sneak a fart out while talking on her show and i’m literally crying— K2️⃣ Kush (@K2️⃣ Kush)1579468897.0
Others pointed out this isn't the first time Ms. Williams has been caught red-handed—or rather, red-bootied—farting on live tv.
The burp/fart!! #WendyWilliams #fart #burp https://t.co/KO5uv1GimD— Robert Guerrero (@Robert Guerrero)1579022739.0
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 How is she gonna burp and fart on the air and not say "excuse me?" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 @WendyWilliams @50cent https://t.co/M3OzvscX8w— Eric Richards (@Eric Richards)1579048684.0
New York’s hottest club is: the Wendy Williams show. it has everything: Abby quitting, a reference to hair/makeup,… https://t.co/58tIWnmCtd— harie 🥵 (@harie 🥵)1579057063.0
And her "cover" for it?
Was not so subtle.
Omgeeeeee when she leaned over and grunted ever so subtly I LOST IT 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 https://t.co/wMMreGGAo6— | · Tre' Tre' · | (@| · Tre' Tre' · |)1579489289.0
Sometimes you just have to let it out #WendyWilliams #fart #gossipgirl #celebrity #accident #MondayVibes… https://t.co/j59yWuh9XB— SomethingToLaughAt (@SomethingToLaughAt)1579529003.0
Forget "Wendy Williams faints on live TV", here is "Wendy Williams FARTS on live TV" MUCH BETTER https://t.co/O80oHM690O— ~ Bühler ~ ✊🏻⚡️💜🎶 (@~ Bühler ~ ✊🏻⚡️💜🎶)1579526514.0
Sis, you just plowed on through!
Well, if it needed to come out, it's best that it did...even if millions of people caught that moment.
We'd all be lying if we said we'd never taken even a little bit of joy in messing with someone. You may have to lie to the people who know you in person, but c'mon. This is the internet, we're all friends in our mutual horribleness here.
One Reddit user really wanted to bond with their fellow scumbags, so they asked:
Fellow scumbags of reddit, what's the worse thing you've ever done?
Some of the answers were legitimately awful, some were hilariously terrible, all of them were downright scuzzy ... just like we like it! Here are some of our favorite responses. They've been edited for clarity when needed. Enjoy!