The body is a naked flesh canvas, though some people do run out of room after awhile. Tattoos have become one of the most genuine and creative ways for people to express themselves and tell their stories; or display talent. I have seen some exquisite renderings on a muscular back.
Ink is forever. Which is why its good to put some thought into your body art. Some of the tattoos people choose to mark themselves with can leave witnesses speechless, and not in a good way.
Redditor u/saxonn_88 wanted to hear the details behind some of the most obscure body art people have come across by asking.... Which type of tattoo makes you cringe the most?
No to Molly
stephen kings it clown GIF
Giphy
The tattoo of a clown holding a gun smoking a joint on my leg. It was done when I was a ten in an apartment.
Antler Art
I don't know the exact English word but in German it's called "butt antlers". I'm not sure what it's actually supposed to represent but it kind of looks like you've got a deer inside your pants.
Now I want to see actual antlers tattooed as a tramp stamp.
<googles>
OK, no, I didn't really want to see that. I wouldn't click this if I were you.
http://www.tattoonow.com/gallery/tattoos/keyword/realistic~133/ass-antlers-by-chris-dingwell~36951
Kissed
Lips on the neck.
I get it, you're a gangster with an attitude problem and probably want to fight.
You get a lot of people with Albuquerque and the New Mexico State symbol tatted on them as well. ABQ is notorious for sh!tty tats... a lot of the work I've seen since living here is really bad honestly.
Joke's on You
heath ledger joker GIF
Giphy
Nothing says "I've been to prison for cooking Meth in my trailer" like a Joker neck or face tattoo.
I knew a guy who got a green question mark because his name was Maurice and because of that song. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker. I am a comic book fan and told him that's the Riddler's symbol, the Joker's symbol, if any, is the Joker's face. He hung his head and was like, yeah, I know.
Uncouple Please
Couple tattoos like portraits or names. Mostly when they proudly tell you it's because they've been together for 5 months and just know they stay together forever.
The more crap a couple does to prove they're gonna be together forever, the less I believe they're gonna be together forever.
Yeehaw Fail
Sayings, especially ones that span multiple limbs/areas.
I was in the Army with a guy from Texas that thought he was hard as woodpecker lips. Had 'Cowboy The F Up' tattooed across his forearms (ostensibly so if he put his fists up to fight you, you would read it and... I don't know, be scared or something? He never got in any fights that I know of.) But due to the size he wanted it and sh!tty planning, one arm said COWBOY THE and the other arm simply read F UP. And he immediately became known as Cowboy, the f-up.
Oh Karna....
Just saw a couple of days ago a writing on some dude: "Karna isn't a witch" - just as I wrote it.
He's just expressing support for his friend Karna. She might not be a saint, but she isn't a witch.
To be fair, Karna is one of the most interesting characters of Mahabharata, a Sanskrit epic. Oh, and "Karna" literally translates to ear.
Sure hope his ear isn't a witch! :D
Stay with Adults
Giphy
Those creepy faces of babies, which looks like there's a little demon on your body.
Baby face are so hard to get right. They don't have the same proportions as adults. Even drawings of babies are creepy 9/10 times.
The Neck Area
I once stood in line behind a lady who had, like, the bad tattoo parade going from the nape of her neck. She had "Only God Can Judge Me", something in Asian characters, and an ugly, faded, poorly drawn crucifix.
I hope the Asian part wasn't her name spelled out in katakana. Really common and really weird. Like you are worried about turning up unconscious in a lost-and-found in Tokyo and this is the only way they'll be able to identify you. All our names sound stupid in the katakana version.
Don't Phone My Home
Sci-Fi Movie GIF by MANGOTEETH
Giphy
When I was in college my friend was talking to some girl he worked with and she brought her very trashy, older friend.
The friend had a tattoo on her shoulder of a face. I said "you must really like E.T, that movie scared the crap out of me as a child." I was being honest, I thought it was E.T. It turns out that it was her daughter. Her daughter looked just like E.T.
How Lyrical?
Knew of a guy once who had "DUBSTEP" tattooed on his chest in VERY VERY large letters. He also insisted that dubstep was the future of music and was here to stay.
Even if it was here to stay, that's still a really stupid tattoo. It would look equally stupid to have POP or HIPHOP on your chest too.
Objection!
phoenix wright objection GIF by Cheezburger
Giphy
A defendant in the courtroom I clerked in during law school had "homicide" tattooed on his face, over his eyebrow. Not a great look.
Afterlife....
I work with the deceased. I've seen a direct correlation between "ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME" tattoos and being a victim of gunshot homicide. Juggalo tattoos don't bode well for MVAs. Tasmanian Devils go hand in hand with gastric bleeds from chronic alcohol consumption. The clinically depressed seemed to like dolphins.
A Gift
Tattoos that are gifts from you to someone else. For example "For your birthday, I got your birth date tattooed on me!"
And tattoos with spelling errors. Example "Were you really there if you think you were their?"
I thought tattoo presents were just... paying for your friend's tattoo. I'm glad I didn't know that, and wish I could unknow it.
Oh CB....
Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes peeing on stuff. Except the one from Hot Rod with one stream of urine going on the TV set and one going on the FM radio with an AM radio safely dry in the middle on a magic carpet.
Stamped...
stamp GIF by South Park
Giphy
I have a tramp stamp that says "no regrets" in very fancy cursive. It's the only tattoo my dad laughed at rather than cringed. I can judge no one.
Body parts
Ones where the person gets a tattoo of someone using either their real nipple or belly button to replace the tattoo of a person's nipple or belly button (e.g. Buddha with real belly button). That is really damn gross, don't get one.
"oh... alright let me go get set up"
My first tattoo I went to get my daughter's name and her birthday. The guy tried so hard to talk me out of it and I couldn't understand why. He goes "man a name and date is just gonna turn into a bad memory one day". And then I realized he thought this was a girlfriend or something. Told him it was my kid and he goes "oh... alright let me go get set up" haha.
More related story. My daughter's mom (ex) has my name tattooed on her wrist and I laugh to myself every time I see her.
FAQs: "he thought you were dating a child??" No I can't imagine. Probably figured it was an anniversary or just didn't look to see what the date actually was.
"Lie to Me"
I'm a tattoo artist. Had a regular come into the shop, he was an older swinger type and my coworker tattooed him.
He got Pinocchio tattooed above his junk with his penis as the nose, and script that said "Lie to Me"
I try not to judge tattoos but I figured you'd all appreciate this one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Edit: Obligatory "wow this blew up" edit. Thanks everyone for correcting my shrug ♥️
Know what you mean....
mark wahlberg no GIF by Daddy's Home
Giphy
Any tattoo with something in Chinese or Japanese written on it. I am learning Japanese coz why not, and I saw this dude with a tattoo saying sakana (fish). I was like, hey what does that mean and he said poison. He may have typed poisson into Google translate lol.
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Case in point...
Redditor rallfreedom wanted us to update Santa's deliveries for the children on the naughty list, they asked:
"Since Santa is old, and coal was considered worthless back in the day, what new worthless item could Santa give to naughty children in 2021?"
If you really wanted to set me off on Christmas morning, then you should leave me something personalized. Something you how I'd hate. Like a cassette tape of 80's Christian soft rock. That would make a statement of just how naughty I've been.
What a Difference
Blockbuster GIF by Big Potato GamesGiphy"Blockbuster gift cards." ~ GamerOfGods33
"And still no one will shop at the one franchise location still open." ~ pesto_trap_god
Discs
"AOL Internet discs... (actually getting rare these days)." ~ whorton59
"After collecting enough of those AOL discs, I just open a bottle of Tennessee whiskey and make AOL disc fish wall art." ~ ExRockstar
"I wish I still had the picture, but my friend passed onto me a photo of a chair (more like a throne, if I recall) made entirely of AOL discs." ~ PM_MeYourSmilingFace
Discharge
"Outdated phone chargers." ~ TheBrotherhoods
"A correct phone charger for the device, but it only works in one very specific angle and charges the phone super slow." ~ Karl_the_stingray
"People rave about how good old Nokias were but they forget that if you went up a version like you got upgraded to a 3310 from a 3210 then all your chargers were now something like 0.25mm too small and you had to buy all new ones." ~ erroneousbosh
Interpretations...
"We currently misinterpreted what 'naughty kids get coal' originally meant. For a poor family in December, coal was the difference between warmth and freezing, hot food and not. 'Coal' was not something mean. It was like socks, now." ~ adaza
"Exactly. If the child was selfless, they would get a personal gift as a reward. If the child was selfish, they instead would get a gift to be shared with the family, forcing them to be more altruistic." ~ MoobyTheGoldenSock
Necessities...
toilet paper help GIFGiphy"Toilet paper. Just like coal, it's something the whole house needs and will use but is going to be bought anyway. It's also consumable and practical just like coal." ~ NeverGetaSpaceship
I could still use toilet paper. You never know when society is gonna go off into the deep end again and buy it all up. Remember the beginning of Covid?
Spin
fidget GIF by Future GenerationsGiphy"Idk why but I feel like fidget spinners would be pretty infuriating to the masses of children as something that still counts as a gift but is for sure a let down & past trend." ~ mmaster42
Way back when...
"An "Introduction to Windows 95" book." ~ Actual_grass
"There's one of those package shipping stores near me that sells all kinds of miscellaneous stuff. Anything to make a buck. They have a carousel stand with laminated sheets containing tips on how to use various computer programs. Still for sale as of last week: 'Shortcut keys for Windows XP' and 'Tips for using Microsoft Word 2010.'" ~ dartdoug
All Yours...
"He could give kids one of the old cables that was collected over the years but wasn't thrown away because it could need it at some point." ~ CaptWeirdBeard
"I have a tupperware tote full of those things. I'll sell it to Santa for scap value of the copper. You hear that Santa? $5 and it's all yours." ~ GreatJanitor
Dial Up
"A rotary phone." ~ cannotbefaded
"My Grandma had a rotary phone she kept(still worked so why not) as well as having a cordless phone. Had a relative that wanted to use the rotary phone the one time just to use it instead, decided they didn't want to do that again." ~ golden_fli
"Okay, I actually like rotary phones. I was young enough to remember using rotary phones and preferred using them to touch tone phones. Only because it was fun to spin the dial and watch it spin back into place." ~ GreatJanitor
So close...
ronald mcdonald mcdonalds GIFGiphy"McDonald's toys from 2 years ago. Old enough to not be popular trends, but new enough to not be collector's items." ~ GavinSnowe
McDonald's still has toys? Who knew? And those fidget spinners, how did anyone ever enjoy those? That would set me off as well.
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They say your 30's hits different, like one day you're young a hopeful and the next day you're just WAY too old for this.
What is the "this" you're suddenly too old for?
No idea. It's different for everyone, but make no mistake, it'll happen to you too.
Maybe it already has?
Reddit user BMA1500 asked:
"What sh*t are you too old for?"
Let's take a look at how "too old" hit these Reddit users.
Internet Arguments
"Arguing with ignorant people on the internet."
- Brundleflyftw
"Amen!"
"I have no patience or bandwidth to argue with random a-holes on social. Learned that lesson a long time ago."
"Too many fakes and bots now anyway. I am pretty much a 'read only' user of other platforms and only share opinions in person on polarizing issues."
- grumpybaldguy
Games
"Petty games while talking to a potential partner."
"Just be straight up and real with me. Tricks are for kids."
- Squanch42069
"I've always felt this way."
"I remember when one of my girls explained the concept of 'playing hard to get' to me and I was annoyed just hearing it."
"If I have to chase you, that means you’re running away, and I don’t have time for that. If you seem uninterested, I’ll take it on the chin and leave you alone."
"If you like me just say that. If you don’t like me just say that. It’s not hard and moves the process along much faster."
"If you text me and I’m free, I’m going to text back. I’m not going to wait three hours for aesthetic purposes."
"The list goes on."
- -helpwanted
GiphyCut That Out
"This sounds like some Instagram motivational sh*t, but spending time around people that I genuinely don't like or who make me unhappy and uncomfortable."
"There's so short of a time we have on this Earth and it just hit me right before I turned 30 that I spent a ton of that time with people who I thought sucked."
"I cut that out and I'm much happier."
- PrairieBunny91
"BOOM!"
"I realized this at my cousins wedding. I had a family member walk up to me flat out call me ugly, fat and say that I wasn’t the “good” family guy anymore."
"What!?!? Why would you even say that?? And they said it with a smile on their face the whole time..."
"After that night I haven’t spoken to them in 2 years and I’m super happy! I’m too f*cking old to be dealing with that nonsense for the rest of my life."
- MuffinTrucker
GiphyExistential Crisis
"Drinking heavily."
"It takes days to recover now, and most bad hangovers come with an existential crisis attached."
- TheOptimumLemon
"Same."
"When I was young I remember times I'd have a day off from work and be like 'Hell yeah, I'm gonna get trashed and play video games all night it's gonna be great!' "
"Now it's like "Great, I'm 3 drinks in and I'm just tired & have heart burn.' "
"It's not the same."
- dont_panic21
"I used to work 12-9pm, party the entire night. And then be back to work like a pro."
"If this was a Friday, partying used to resume Saturday afternoon. That was my early 20s."
"In my 30s now, and I wait for Fridays so that I can be dead on my bed the entire Saturday."
- youngOldMonk
"The existential crisis is the worst. Just lying there wondering what the hell you are doing with your life, what came to this and when you are going to grow out of it."
"Then it passes and life goes on."
- Noggin-a-Floggin
GiphyNothing "General"
"General admission tickets. My old ass requires a reserved seat."
- sunflakie
"Hahaha… last gen admission show I went to I had to find a 'comfortable' wall to lean on."
- jmmorart317
"When it comes to music festivals, the wife and I go for VIP just so we can get fancier washrooms and shorter lines at the food trucks."
- VanillaGorilla
"I agree but, man, it makes feel like I’m a spectator at at a concert and not part of the real party down on the floor."
- MudIsland
GiphyAsk Yourself
"Facebook."
"There comes an age when you have to consider... 'Do I really care what kind of clickbait sh*t my high school friends who I never talk to and never will see, likes?' "
"I only had Facebook because it helped with socializing in college/high school, but afterwards it's really hard to want to add new friends because they can see your history, and you can too."
- chupalaw
"Honestly, the only reason why I have a Facebook is because I still have my mom as my friend and she passed 4 years ago."
"Every time I go on there, I'm tired now."
- mxnstrs
"I deleted Facebook three years ago."
"Found out all my Marine Corps buddies were either total idiots, painfully stereotypical post-9/11 veterans, ill-informed political junkies, and mostly people I haven't had anything to do with in years."
- combativewaifu
GiphyMoving
"Moving or helping other people move. Just no."
- Hasenpfeffer_
"I've moved a lot of times and have helped many people move."
"One of the best decisions I've ever made was hiring movers. 300 bucks for the big stuff is money extremely well spent."
- aigheadish
"I've broken my body helping people move because I'm the 'young and strong guy' in the friend group. Way too many times now. F*ck that sh*t, hire movers."
- Disastrous_Budget_11
"I can agree with this."
"I used to work as a mover for a couple summers and I don't even want to move myself lmao."
- bigelmn8r
GiphyNot The Cool Old Guy
"Tik Tok."
"I told myself when I get older I need to be open minded and not the close minded grumpy old man..."
"Then I see all these obviously staged videos and corny dancing/lip syncing stuff and realize it’s inevitable I am not gonna be the cool old guy."
- traws06
"I have this exact same process with TikTok."
"I think to myself, 'I’m really the bitter old woman I said I would never be, aren’t I?' Lol"
- moothemost
"I’ve downloaded TikTok at least 3 times and deleted it almost immediately."
"I am drawing a line at TikTok. I’m old."
- theslother
GiphySince We're Talking About TikTok...
"When Macy's Thanksgiving Parade performers are introduced as "TikTok sensation" without any other credentials worth mentioning."
- Foxhound199
"I think the only performer I knew yesterday was Kelly Rowland because of Destiny’s Child."
"My google search history is full of my confusion."
- independencedaffodil
"Oh man I’m so glad we missed the parade then. Maybe I’m just too old but that would’ve been cringe."
- takeoutthewitch
GiphyWhy Are We Screaming?
"People (mainly young girls) who scream for no reason."
"I understand if you're terrified of something, but screaming when you meet up with your friends or just when the situation does not call for it makes me SO mad. I find it so infuriating."
"Just shut up. Lol."
- CatReal7672
"My kids learned a very long time ago not to scream like that. I hate excessive loud noise in any environment, but it’s especially nerve wracking in close quarters."
"My Mother-in-Law will have a dinner every so often for the family to get together. My husbands brother’s kids are so freaking annoying like this."
"We’re having pizza? Scream."
"We’re baking cookies? Scream."
"Someone found you in hide and seek? Scream."
- bluegrassmommy
"I’ve been too old for that since I was 6. Shit was ALWAYS annoying."
- Zombifi3r
GiphyReal talk, apparently I'm *very* old going by the stuff on this list.
I'm gonna need to go sit with that for a bit... let me go turn on the seat warmer so my bones aren't stiff when I stand up later.
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