The body is a naked flesh canvas, though some people do run out of room after awhile. Tattoos have become one of the most genuine and creative ways for people to express themselves and tell their stories; or display talent. I have seen some exquisite renderings on a muscular back.
Ink is forever. Which is why its good to put some thought into your body art. Some of the tattoos people choose to mark themselves with can leave witnesses speechless, and not in a good way.
Redditor u/saxonn_88 wanted to hear the details behind some of the most obscure body art people have come across by asking.... Which type of tattoo makes you cringe the most?
No to Molly
stephen kings it clown GIFGiphyThe tattoo of a clown holding a gun smoking a joint on my leg. It was done when I was a ten in an apartment.
Antler Art
I don't know the exact English word but in German it's called "butt antlers". I'm not sure what it's actually supposed to represent but it kind of looks like you've got a deer inside your pants.
Now I want to see actual antlers tattooed as a tramp stamp.
<googles>
OK, no, I didn't really want to see that. I wouldn't click this if I were you.
http://www.tattoonow.com/gallery/tattoos/keyword/realistic~133/ass-antlers-by-chris-dingwell~36951
Kissed
Lips on the neck.
I get it, you're a gangster with an attitude problem and probably want to fight.
You get a lot of people with Albuquerque and the New Mexico State symbol tatted on them as well. ABQ is notorious for sh!tty tats... a lot of the work I've seen since living here is really bad honestly.
Joke's on You
heath ledger joker GIFGiphyNothing says "I've been to prison for cooking Meth in my trailer" like a Joker neck or face tattoo.
I knew a guy who got a green question mark because his name was Maurice and because of that song. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker. I am a comic book fan and told him that's the Riddler's symbol, the Joker's symbol, if any, is the Joker's face. He hung his head and was like, yeah, I know.
Uncouple Please
Couple tattoos like portraits or names. Mostly when they proudly tell you it's because they've been together for 5 months and just know they stay together forever.
The more crap a couple does to prove they're gonna be together forever, the less I believe they're gonna be together forever.
Yeehaw Fail
Sayings, especially ones that span multiple limbs/areas.
I was in the Army with a guy from Texas that thought he was hard as woodpecker lips. Had 'Cowboy The F Up' tattooed across his forearms (ostensibly so if he put his fists up to fight you, you would read it and... I don't know, be scared or something? He never got in any fights that I know of.) But due to the size he wanted it and sh!tty planning, one arm said COWBOY THE and the other arm simply read F UP. And he immediately became known as Cowboy, the f-up.
Oh Karna....
Just saw a couple of days ago a writing on some dude: "Karna isn't a witch" - just as I wrote it.
He's just expressing support for his friend Karna. She might not be a saint, but she isn't a witch.
To be fair, Karna is one of the most interesting characters of Mahabharata, a Sanskrit epic. Oh, and "Karna" literally translates to ear.
Sure hope his ear isn't a witch! :D
Stay with Adults
GiphyThose creepy faces of babies, which looks like there's a little demon on your body.
Baby face are so hard to get right. They don't have the same proportions as adults. Even drawings of babies are creepy 9/10 times.
The Neck Area
I once stood in line behind a lady who had, like, the bad tattoo parade going from the nape of her neck. She had "Only God Can Judge Me", something in Asian characters, and an ugly, faded, poorly drawn crucifix.
I hope the Asian part wasn't her name spelled out in katakana. Really common and really weird. Like you are worried about turning up unconscious in a lost-and-found in Tokyo and this is the only way they'll be able to identify you. All our names sound stupid in the katakana version.
Don't Phone My Home
Sci-Fi Movie GIF by MANGOTEETHGiphyWhen I was in college my friend was talking to some girl he worked with and she brought her very trashy, older friend.
The friend had a tattoo on her shoulder of a face. I said "you must really like E.T, that movie scared the crap out of me as a child." I was being honest, I thought it was E.T. It turns out that it was her daughter. Her daughter looked just like E.T.
How Lyrical?
Knew of a guy once who had "DUBSTEP" tattooed on his chest in VERY VERY large letters. He also insisted that dubstep was the future of music and was here to stay.
Even if it was here to stay, that's still a really stupid tattoo. It would look equally stupid to have POP or HIPHOP on your chest too.
Objection!
phoenix wright objection GIF by CheezburgerGiphyA defendant in the courtroom I clerked in during law school had "homicide" tattooed on his face, over his eyebrow. Not a great look.
Afterlife....
I work with the deceased. I've seen a direct correlation between "ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME" tattoos and being a victim of gunshot homicide. Juggalo tattoos don't bode well for MVAs. Tasmanian Devils go hand in hand with gastric bleeds from chronic alcohol consumption. The clinically depressed seemed to like dolphins.
A Gift
Tattoos that are gifts from you to someone else. For example "For your birthday, I got your birth date tattooed on me!"
And tattoos with spelling errors. Example "Were you really there if you think you were their?"
I thought tattoo presents were just... paying for your friend's tattoo. I'm glad I didn't know that, and wish I could unknow it.
Oh CB....
Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes peeing on stuff. Except the one from Hot Rod with one stream of urine going on the TV set and one going on the FM radio with an AM radio safely dry in the middle on a magic carpet.
Stamped...
stamp GIF by South ParkGiphyI have a tramp stamp that says "no regrets" in very fancy cursive. It's the only tattoo my dad laughed at rather than cringed. I can judge no one.
Body parts
Ones where the person gets a tattoo of someone using either their real nipple or belly button to replace the tattoo of a person's nipple or belly button (e.g. Buddha with real belly button). That is really damn gross, don't get one.
"oh... alright let me go get set up"
My first tattoo I went to get my daughter's name and her birthday. The guy tried so hard to talk me out of it and I couldn't understand why. He goes "man a name and date is just gonna turn into a bad memory one day". And then I realized he thought this was a girlfriend or something. Told him it was my kid and he goes "oh... alright let me go get set up" haha.
More related story. My daughter's mom (ex) has my name tattooed on her wrist and I laugh to myself every time I see her.
FAQs: "he thought you were dating a child??" No I can't imagine. Probably figured it was an anniversary or just didn't look to see what the date actually was.
"Lie to Me"
I'm a tattoo artist. Had a regular come into the shop, he was an older swinger type and my coworker tattooed him.
He got Pinocchio tattooed above his junk with his penis as the nose, and script that said "Lie to Me"
I try not to judge tattoos but I figured you'd all appreciate this one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Edit: Obligatory "wow this blew up" edit. Thanks everyone for correcting my shrug ♥️
Know what you mean....
mark wahlberg no GIF by Daddy's HomeGiphyAny tattoo with something in Chinese or Japanese written on it. I am learning Japanese coz why not, and I saw this dude with a tattoo saying sakana (fish). I was like, hey what does that mean and he said poison. He may have typed poisson into Google translate lol.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.
- People Share The Most Awkward Thing They've Ever Witnessed At ... ›
- People Reveal The Most Cringeworthy Trend They Followed As A Kid ›
- People Share Their Most Cringeworthy Wedding Stories ›
- People Share Their Most Cringeworthy Memories From High School ›
- Tattoo Artists Divulge The Most 'F**ked Up' Thing They've Tattooed - George Takei ›
- People Break Down The Tattoos That Scream 'I Have No Creativity' - George Takei ›
- People Confess Which Things They Find Absolutely Cringeworthy - George Takei ›
- The Scariest Types Of People - George Takei ›
"What's the most mysterious thing happened in your life that you can't find any explanation for?"
Mom Acting Weird
"My mum is a type 1 diabetic, has been since she was 11 years of age."
"When me and my little brother were very young, I was about 7 and he was 5 , I came into my mum's room to find she was acting extremely strange."
"She looked almost drunk, and wasn’t really responsive."
"I went to pick up her insulin needles to see if she would react to that and she didn’t."
"So I panicked and phoned my Nan who told me to put the phone down and dial 999."
"For some reason I was so frightened and confused I didn’t, and sent my little brother outside to get help while I tried to get my mum to respond to me."
"My brother came back in crying saying he couldn’t find anyone and then about five minuets later this woman just walked into my mum's bedroom, called me by my name, and my brothers, said she knew my mum and help is coming, she was calm, soft-spoken and had a warm feeling about her."
"I didn’t recognize this woman and neither did my brother."
"Shortly after the ambulance arrived and got my mum's sugar levels back up."
"And when I went to find the woman, she was gone."
"Like literally gone."
"When my mum came round I explained to her about this mysterious woman and what she looked like."
"And my mum had absolutely no idea who she was, and we never saw her again."
"If she didn’t help us my mum would have died eventually."
"Still gives me shivers now."- leeshouse90
Portrait Of A Lady On Fire Neon Rated GIF by NEONGiphyPsychic, or lucky?
"When I was around 18 a friend and I were traveling in Europe."
"We were walking along a pleasant, quiet street in Rome one day and saw an elderly homeless man sitting on the street."
"He said to us if he could guess our date of birth could we give him some money?"
"Of course we said ok."
"He did it! "
"He told us both our correct dates of birth!"
"Never met him before and never saw him again."- robertodurian
Some Unfinished Work, Maybe?
"I was at my mother in law's flat in Hungary."
"Fyi I don't speak Hungarian, so I couldn't be aware of any of this."
"I tend to go to bed later that my wife, and for the first couple of nights, I had trouble falling asleep because around midnight I could hear the neighbor upstairs."
"It's an old block of flats made under the communist era, walls are incredibly thin."
"Walk in high heels, which was very annoying."
"I could also hear little objects fall on the floor, and I told my wife it sounded like the plastic buttons you have on some clothes."
"She looked at me funny and told me her niece hated to sleep in that room because she was scared by the noises coming from upstairs."
"I said that was a bit exaggerated, and I thought it was until my wife told me the flat upstairs had been empty for the past at least 4 years."
"Neighbor died years before that, and guess what?"
"She was a tailor, always nicely dressed and wearing high heels."- mimzou
High Heels Shoes GIF by Real Housewives Of CheshireGiphyGone Without A Trace
"When I was a kid, I participated in Big Brothers Big Sisters, which if you don't know what that is it's pretty much just a mentorship program in the US."
"I basically just hung out with this dude Chris for a couple hours a week."
"We'd go to the movies, out to eat, he'd help me with my homework, that kinda thing."
"One day, he tells me that he's going to Baltimore for a couple weeks and when I should expect him back."
"The day rolls around and I give him a call to see if he's back yet."
"A man whose voice I didn't recognize answered and I asked if Chris was there."
"He said no."
"I asked him when Chris would be back just kinda thinking it was someone staying at his house or watching his dogs or something."
"But he said that I had the wrong number, that he and his wife had lived there for years, and there was never a Chris there."
"I double checked in the phonebook to see if it was the right number which it was because I had it circled."
"I was confused so I just said sorry and hung up, and I never heard from Chris ever again."- theautomemoriesdoll
A Clever Distraction?
"When I was 10 or so I was staying at my grandma's over the summer break and we were having breakfast."
"We barely started eating when the phone rang."
"She left the dining room and I followed her thinking that maybe they were my parents calling."
"When we returned most of the food was gone."
"She asked me if I ate while she was on the phone and I said 'no'."
"There was no one else home and there were no pets."
"My grandma just shook it off saying we might have eaten more than she remembered but I am absolutely positive that I had at most two bites of my toast by the time the phone rang."- queenliz2fr
Hungry Good Morning GIF by HBO MaxGiphyMystery Benefactor
"Every month around the 5th I get a letter with exactly 23 dollars."
"No note, no return address."
"I’ve asked family, relatives, friends, the two past occupants of this apartment."
"Nobody knows anything about it."
"It is not addressed to me, but to my unique postal address."
"The total is now exactly 1886, I have just stashed it all in a box."
"I do not want to spend it in case it is cursed."- Puzzleheaded_Ad928
A Comforting Sign
"My grandmother always loved roses and had them growing in her back yard."
"She died in a December and when we were gathered at her house for the funeral my father happened to look out the back window and saw a bright red rose had blossomed."
"It stood out brightly against the snow."
"He brought it in and put it in a vase on the kitchen table."
"We all left for the funeral and when we came back the rose was on the living room floor."
"No one had been in the house while we were gone."
"My father is the most hard-headed person alive but he was convinced it was his mothers way of telling him she was all right."- regular6drunk7
Mystery Portal?
"We have a built in wardrobe in our bedroom."
"About a month ago our cat had managed to get herself inside and I must have closed the door."
"I heard her meowing and I opened the door and she jumped out and walked off."
"Silly cat."
"I closed the wardrobe door."
"Less than five minutes later I hear a meow in the wardrobe, I open the door and to my surprise, our cat jumps out again and walks off."
"My partner and I were both stunned as there is no way into the wardrobe with the doors closed."
"Neither of us have any idea how this happened."- TorthOrc
Cat Jumping GIFGiphyLost Time
"I had just picked up a coworker from her house heading to work.'
"We are just talking and chatting, "how'd your weekend go" type of stuff."
"We are maybe 5 miles away from her house, when all of a sudden, we realize we are in town pulling into works parking lot."
"We both kinda look at each other not sure what happened."
"We had gone near 20 miles in a blink of an eye."
"And what cemented this experience as something that I actually happened, and not just simply losing track of time, IS THE TIME!"
"It should have taken us almost half an hour to get to work."
"Instead the time from when I picked her up was 2:30."
"And the time when we got to the building was 2:40."
"There is no way in HELL!"
"We couldn't have gotten there that fast."
"From that point on we both called that experience the time when we Jumped, like from the movie Jumper."
"I have no explanation why."
"I'll also state, I don't believe in the paranormal or supernatural."
"So this experience is one of those things that makes me question my own sanity."- belac4862
car dark GIFGiphyThere must be an explanation for these circumstances...
Even if it's not an explanation that will make any sense, otherworldly or not.
What is a great example of 'f*ck around and find out'"?
Never Be Afraid To Seek Help
"Hey remember how they said drugs can ruin your f*cking life?"
"Turns out that was true."- WowAPenguin
They Put Up Those Walls For A Reason
"People who die after going over the safety fence at zoo, or basically any safety fence."- Solid_Refrigerator16
They Can't Say They Weren't Warned...
"Those who go deep cave diving and ignore the warning signs."- somekindofmiracle
cave GIFGiphyNever Stand Behind Them...
"Jacka**es who come to the stables I ride at and act weird around horses."
"Those animals play no games."- clem82
Is It Really Worth It?
"Running of the Bulls in Spain."
"The videos each year of the people getting completely annihilated by the bulls is a great example."- getagrooving
Never Get Too Big For Your Britches...
"When I was young I boxed and eventually got into golden gloves."
"I got a few wins under my belt and said I wanted to fight someone legit, someone who would be a real challenge."
"An opportunity came up to fight someone very good, a guy who'd eventually win regional and state and later go pro."
"At this point I'd not lost or even been knocked down, so my confidence was high, that is until he knocked me the hell out very early in the fight and taught me that there are BIG differences in the different talent levels of fighting."-Reddit
episode 2 boxing GIF by Archie ComicsGiphySharks might be the least of your problems...
"Go swimming outside the flags in Australia."- d*ckflip1980
Clown Behavior
"When people were dressing up like clowns to scare people."
"It kinda stopped after one got shot."- BigMaraJeff2
Or With Anything Dangerous...
"Playing with electricity."- tlmega124
Jack Nicholson Hair GIF by MOODMANGiphyThey Won't Harm You If You Won't Harm Them...
"People that approach wildlife in state parks."- Rider-of-Rohaan42
Best To Keep Hands And Feet Out Of Moving Vehicles...
"Your boss at the warehouse is constantly telling you to keep your feet within the confines of your vehicle, and not to hang them, and to stay clear when walking, because if you don't, a 6,000 pound+ vehicle impacting a fixed surface will turn your foot into spaghetti sauce."
"Do not f*ck around, ever, with industrial vehicles."
"Follow all guidelines, always."
"A powered ride-on pallet jack weighs as much as 2-3 small cars, when fully loaded."
"It will absolutely ruin you if you don't operate safely."- SpaceCorpse
Still Probably Best Not To Do It At All!
"My uncle was a high-profile defense attorney specializing in folks who were arrested for drug trafficking."
"The greatest advice he ever gave to me was, if you want to smuggle ANYTHING, you can do it one time."
"Just once."
"After that, you will be caught and you will be f*cked."- redoctober2021
Confusing On So Many Levels...
"Trying to armed rob a gun store."- VagabondTexan
You'd Think People Would Have Learned By Now...
"Taking Julius Caesar hostage."- EgoSenatus
caesar GIFGiphyNo One Is Invincible...
"Ye saying he can’t be dropped by Adidas, then immediately getting dropped by Adidas."- Admin_Untold
It's one thing to make a mistake after being a bit too hasty, and not giving something enough thought.
But if you end up in the ER after being urged not to do something, and well aware of what might happen, don't expect too many flowers...
Redditor Sir_Baconstrips wanted to see who was willing to discuss actions made while randy, so they asked:
"What's the biggest mistake you've made because you were horny?"
I can't tell you mine, because my mom might read this. But Reddit was more than happy to share.
History Help
Hide Reaction GIF by florGiphy"I browsed porn and then I asked my mom how to delete the history."
Ramon80589
What was that?
"Probably my most embarrassing moment. Was on my work computer (family business so nothing locked) and it was a super slow day and I was alone. Anyways was doing a classic 3 min facebook check and scrolled down for a second and saw the news post about Adriana Chechik injuring her back in a foam pool. Figured top comments on that would be golden. Read one funny one that said 'her and her scene with [performer I can’t remember] is still goat.'"
"Never heard of said performer so I got curious and google her. Of course photos never do justice, had to see the performance ya know? So I clicked a random video, quick glance and thought 'meh' and was about to close the tab before I noticed my mouse twitch on the screen… What was that? No.. that wasn’t mouse error, that was someone… then within seconds I realized the accountant who taps in remotely to finish work came in at that exact moment that I had a browser open for less than 60 sec."
"The worst wart was I could have sworn I had all those remote services off, but she tried to tap in for over an hour and must of did something to wake splashtop (probably had it on some type of standby mode). She even called earlier but I saw a random number and was speaking with a client and ignored it."
"Anyways, decision time, do I call her and play it off as nothing or apologize? Naturally as a fearful 28 year old I play off as nothing. I call, no answer… then a few minutes later i get the call back and her words after exchanging 'hellos … are you finished with whatever you were doing…' still burns me."
Satmatzi
Years Later
"Let my (ex) boyfriend dry-hump me for an hour on a bench outside after summer school."
"The bad news: this bench behind our school was also beside a swimming pool. Where parents were taking their children for swim lessons. Eventually a staff member came out and yelled at us for being inappropriate."
"I still have shame flashbacks today, over 10 years later."
hannlouiseols
Size Issues
"I had a one night stand with a guy who was, in retrospect, seriously self-conscious about his penis size and kept going on about how if it was on the small size it was just because he has to have sex with it a few times and it would gradually get bigger until it was it’s 'true' size. I really didn’t care."
"But then to make himself feel better he turned it around and started talking about how big and wide my vagina was but kept reassuring me that it was ok because he liked the challenge. I wish I had snapped my legs shut and given him the boot right then and there."
bewarethes0ckm0nster
In San Diego
No Money Bangladeshi GIF by GifGariGiphy"Lost my entire tax refund and got my phone stolen at a strip club in San Diego."
BigFatPapaBear
Always check your pockets on the way out.
The Reward
Happy We Did It GIF by StoryfulGiphy"Hooked up with a girl at a party. Just kind of bored, drunk, and horny. Having to go to the doctor for a case of pubic lice was my reward for poor self-control."
No_External7289
Dedicated...
"I got my first serious gf in high school. She was two grades below me. So when I finished third year and moved 500 km south we was still a couple. I was so in love (and most of all horny) I commuted every. Single. Weekend. And I was poor. So I took the bus to the nearest station after school. Waited for the long distance bus for 4-5 hours."
"Went to a larger city to hitchhike my way there. I was there Friday night or Saturday morning. Locked ourselves in her bedroom and went at it until Sunday morning. I made my way down to school again and went to class straight from the bus Monday morning. This went on for almost a year…"
pelo_ensortijado
I'm Out
Chris Pratt Running GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy"Was trying to get with a girl in college. We were texting and I asked her what she was up to, she said she was training for a marathon and going to the gym and asked if I wanted to come."
"I ended up running 9 miles before I tagged out. So now I know how far I'd go to have sex it's up to 9 miles."
euesquecimeunome
Lord the things people will do when slightly turned on.