The body is a naked flesh canvas, though some people do run out of room after awhile. Tattoos have become one of the most genuine and creative ways for people to express themselves and tell their stories; or display talent. I have seen some exquisite renderings on a muscular back.
Ink is forever. Which is why its good to put some thought into your body art. Some of the tattoos people choose to mark themselves with can leave witnesses speechless, and not in a good way.
Redditor u/saxonn_88 wanted to hear the details behind some of the most obscure body art people have come across by asking.... Which type of tattoo makes you cringe the most?
No to Molly
stephen kings it clown GIF
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The tattoo of a clown holding a gun smoking a joint on my leg. It was done when I was a ten in an apartment.
Antler Art
I don't know the exact English word but in German it's called "butt antlers". I'm not sure what it's actually supposed to represent but it kind of looks like you've got a deer inside your pants.
Now I want to see actual antlers tattooed as a tramp stamp.
<googles>
OK, no, I didn't really want to see that. I wouldn't click this if I were you.
http://www.tattoonow.com/gallery/tattoos/keyword/realistic~133/ass-antlers-by-chris-dingwell~36951
Kissed
Lips on the neck.
I get it, you're a gangster with an attitude problem and probably want to fight.
You get a lot of people with Albuquerque and the New Mexico State symbol tatted on them as well. ABQ is notorious for sh!tty tats... a lot of the work I've seen since living here is really bad honestly.
Joke's on You
heath ledger joker GIF
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Nothing says "I've been to prison for cooking Meth in my trailer" like a Joker neck or face tattoo.
I knew a guy who got a green question mark because his name was Maurice and because of that song. I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker. I am a comic book fan and told him that's the Riddler's symbol, the Joker's symbol, if any, is the Joker's face. He hung his head and was like, yeah, I know.
Uncouple Please
Couple tattoos like portraits or names. Mostly when they proudly tell you it's because they've been together for 5 months and just know they stay together forever.
The more crap a couple does to prove they're gonna be together forever, the less I believe they're gonna be together forever.
Yeehaw Fail
Sayings, especially ones that span multiple limbs/areas.
I was in the Army with a guy from Texas that thought he was hard as woodpecker lips. Had 'Cowboy The F Up' tattooed across his forearms (ostensibly so if he put his fists up to fight you, you would read it and... I don't know, be scared or something? He never got in any fights that I know of.) But due to the size he wanted it and sh!tty planning, one arm said COWBOY THE and the other arm simply read F UP. And he immediately became known as Cowboy, the f-up.
Oh Karna....
Just saw a couple of days ago a writing on some dude: "Karna isn't a witch" - just as I wrote it.
He's just expressing support for his friend Karna. She might not be a saint, but she isn't a witch.
To be fair, Karna is one of the most interesting characters of Mahabharata, a Sanskrit epic. Oh, and "Karna" literally translates to ear.
Sure hope his ear isn't a witch! :D
Stay with Adults
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Those creepy faces of babies, which looks like there's a little demon on your body.
Baby face are so hard to get right. They don't have the same proportions as adults. Even drawings of babies are creepy 9/10 times.
The Neck Area
I once stood in line behind a lady who had, like, the bad tattoo parade going from the nape of her neck. She had "Only God Can Judge Me", something in Asian characters, and an ugly, faded, poorly drawn crucifix.
I hope the Asian part wasn't her name spelled out in katakana. Really common and really weird. Like you are worried about turning up unconscious in a lost-and-found in Tokyo and this is the only way they'll be able to identify you. All our names sound stupid in the katakana version.
Don't Phone My Home
Sci-Fi Movie GIF by MANGOTEETH
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When I was in college my friend was talking to some girl he worked with and she brought her very trashy, older friend.
The friend had a tattoo on her shoulder of a face. I said "you must really like E.T, that movie scared the crap out of me as a child." I was being honest, I thought it was E.T. It turns out that it was her daughter. Her daughter looked just like E.T.
How Lyrical?
Knew of a guy once who had "DUBSTEP" tattooed on his chest in VERY VERY large letters. He also insisted that dubstep was the future of music and was here to stay.
Even if it was here to stay, that's still a really stupid tattoo. It would look equally stupid to have POP or HIPHOP on your chest too.
Objection!
phoenix wright objection GIF by Cheezburger
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A defendant in the courtroom I clerked in during law school had "homicide" tattooed on his face, over his eyebrow. Not a great look.
Afterlife....
I work with the deceased. I've seen a direct correlation between "ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME" tattoos and being a victim of gunshot homicide. Juggalo tattoos don't bode well for MVAs. Tasmanian Devils go hand in hand with gastric bleeds from chronic alcohol consumption. The clinically depressed seemed to like dolphins.
A Gift
Tattoos that are gifts from you to someone else. For example "For your birthday, I got your birth date tattooed on me!"
And tattoos with spelling errors. Example "Were you really there if you think you were their?"
I thought tattoo presents were just... paying for your friend's tattoo. I'm glad I didn't know that, and wish I could unknow it.
Oh CB....
Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes peeing on stuff. Except the one from Hot Rod with one stream of urine going on the TV set and one going on the FM radio with an AM radio safely dry in the middle on a magic carpet.
Stamped...
stamp GIF by South Park
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I have a tramp stamp that says "no regrets" in very fancy cursive. It's the only tattoo my dad laughed at rather than cringed. I can judge no one.
Body parts
Ones where the person gets a tattoo of someone using either their real nipple or belly button to replace the tattoo of a person's nipple or belly button (e.g. Buddha with real belly button). That is really damn gross, don't get one.
"oh... alright let me go get set up"
My first tattoo I went to get my daughter's name and her birthday. The guy tried so hard to talk me out of it and I couldn't understand why. He goes "man a name and date is just gonna turn into a bad memory one day". And then I realized he thought this was a girlfriend or something. Told him it was my kid and he goes "oh... alright let me go get set up" haha.
More related story. My daughter's mom (ex) has my name tattooed on her wrist and I laugh to myself every time I see her.
FAQs: "he thought you were dating a child??" No I can't imagine. Probably figured it was an anniversary or just didn't look to see what the date actually was.
"Lie to Me"
I'm a tattoo artist. Had a regular come into the shop, he was an older swinger type and my coworker tattooed him.
He got Pinocchio tattooed above his junk with his penis as the nose, and script that said "Lie to Me"
I try not to judge tattoos but I figured you'd all appreciate this one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Edit: Obligatory "wow this blew up" edit. Thanks everyone for correcting my shrug ♥️
Know what you mean....
mark wahlberg no GIF by Daddy's Home
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Any tattoo with something in Chinese or Japanese written on it. I am learning Japanese coz why not, and I saw this dude with a tattoo saying sakana (fish). I was like, hey what does that mean and he said poison. He may have typed poisson into Google translate lol.
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But we should also be prepared and ready to ask the right questions to have a leg up on the competition.
"What is THE best question to ask on a job interview?"
A company's history or information about a past employee were suggested subjects appropriate for questioning.
Prior Knowledge
"When you were interviewing here, what would you have liked to know before you joined?"
"This worked for me. I asked my interviewer a question about how she had personally dealt with a company policy she had just explained. She bragged about her stellar adherence to the policy. I nodded my approval. I got the job."
A Previous Employee
"One that has always gone over well for me:"
"What were some qualities that the previous employee in this role brought to the job that you would like to see carried forward?"
"Another good thing to do is research the company you are interviewing with and you can ask things about what they may be involved in or you could drop that while reading about the company, you wondered this."
Hypothetical questions were suggested as helpful examples of inquiry.
Indicators Of How Companies Treat Employees
"A question that landed me a job once was: 'If I asked your direct reports about your management style, what do you think they'd tell me?' Stumped a hiring manager and he emailed me personally to tell me about it, no one ever asked him that question but got the job.
"In my current interviews I'm asking 'what did your company do for its employees during [the virus] to improve their day to day, work life balance, etc.' and I ask 'Is there anything your company adopted during [the virus] that they plan to keep post [the virus]?"
"These questions give a lot of insight into whether a company treated their employees well."
Past Performance & Adjustments
"If we were currently sitting in my 1 year review, what would I have done in this year for you to say I excelled in my role?"
"If I could snap my finger right now and change anything about your job or the company, what would it be and why?"
The following questions about a prospective company may not be answered from initial digging on their website.
Measure Of Success & Career Trajectories
"How is success measured in this role?"
"What are some possible career trajectories within the company that could stem from this position?"
Being A Solution
"Ask them what is the biggest problem you can solve for them in your first six months with the company. Similar to 'don't think of a purple hippo,' this forces them to imagine you succeeding in the position."
Simply The Best
"Who is your best employee and why is he/she the best?"
"You will then face 2 situations mostly:"
"panicking CEO who can't answer you 'Bob who works 17 hours a day for a slice of bread' so the fear in their faces must be a big nono for you"
"entusiast CEO who actually follow their business and can tell you who is an added value for the company and why."
– ThePiz91
My experiences with job interviews are different than others seeking work in office environments.
Having had a years-long career as a dancer, my "interview" was the dance audition, where hopefuls dance in small groups of people at a time after learning a routine and then awaiting their fate after the panel evaluates their performances.
The question I may or may not have asked in such a scenario earlier in my career was: "Did I make the cut?"
I did not make the cut. And I learned never to ask that again.
I remember the worst date I ever had. My biggest regret is that I stayed for the entire thing. I should've left as soon as I realized this was not going well, which was basically at hello. But he was paying so I drank, a lot. I'll keep names and dates to myself to protect the innocent.
0/10
Big Brother Reaction GIF by Big Brother After DarkGiphy"Went to brewery, date said I had hairy arms and that meant I was horny, said "you look really awful in this light" and then tried to dig out of that hole by saying in his native language that was a term of endearment long term couples said to each other. 0/10 did not date again."
Lucky 13?
"My wife wanted to plan our 13th wedding anniversary. I was excited because usually, I plan it. She bought us some new disc golf discs and after a quick supper, we went to play. We hadn't played in forever. We were laughing and I had a great time. She served me with divorce papers and told me that the date was a test to see if she still had feelings for me. I also learned that she was having an affair that started well before our anniversary."
- rmorlock
Two Hours from Home
"Not necessarily a date but a person I was dating invited me to his parent's house for the afternoon. He wanted to introduce me to them and show me the house he grew up in. I thought it was super sweet and had no problems going. He was also in the middle of moving and needed to pick up a few things, so it really didn't seem that unusual."
"Yeah, we got there and it was awful. His entire family was there. They traveled from hours away too. This was not just meeting the parents, it was meeting the ENTIRE family. Even worse? At some point, this idiot told his parents that he had proposed. We had been dating TWO months. I spent the entire afternoon dumbfounded and just playing along."
"We were two hours from home and I had no cell service, no way to leave at all. We ended up spending the afternoon brainstorming wedding ideas and planning an Alaskan honeymoon that his parents planned to gift us. His brother even called to say congratulations! We drove back to his apartment in silence. When we got there, I got in my car and left, didn't even bother grabbing my stuff. Weirdest experience ever. I have no idea how he broke it to his parents that we weren't getting married."
You're Cut Off!
"Got set up on a blind date once between mutual friends. She shows up to the restaurant already a little tipsy, orders multiple appetizers and only takes like one or two bites from each one. Then she proceeds to order 3 or 4 more drinks and is visibly drunk at this point. She gets up and says she's going to the bathroom and staggers off. About 15-20 minutes go by so I try to call her several times but no answer."
"Finally I decide to pay the check and just leave. About 2 hours later I'm sitting at home and I get a call from an unknown number. It's the police department. She was picked up on a DUI on her way home after she ditched me and gave the cops my number to see if I could go bail her out!"
- mox44ah
Sorry?
Bbc Three Idk GIF by BBCGiphy"Well, I gave this answer on a different topic, but it ties in with this. We were out on a date, we had been seeing each other for a while, close to a year maybe. She gets a phone call. Suddenly she looks destroyed. Her fiancé had just died in a motorcycle accident."
What in the world? I mean how can we ever expect to pair off with the dating pool being inundated with liars and nut jobs? I'm going to delete my apps.
Girl, Bye.
Sassy Beyonce GIFGiphy"Had a girl openly flirt with the bartender in front of me. She says she wasn't. But handing him her own phone and asking for his contact info in front of her date seems like it to me."
Crazy!
"Came out from a movie, late at night, and date's Camaro was stolen. Apparently, he called his WIFE (that I did not know he had) and let her know where he was and what happened. She showed up and realized he was on a date! She started chasing ME around the parking lot telling me she was going to kill me. Saved by the cops who showed up just in time to take the auto theft report."
Hey Mom
"Met a girl at a country bar one night in my 20s. We were both pretty drunk but hit it off pretty good. Ended up getting her number and we agreed we'd go on a real date. Fast forward to the date, she gets in my vehicle and... she looks almost identical to my mom. I was mortified. I was polite and we went for lunch where I found out she also had a boyfriend she "wasn't sure if she was into". Never talked to her again."
- SgtGo
Liars...
"When I was in college many years ago, before the advancement of cell phones and social media, I was chatting with a girl I met on a BBS who lived on Long Island, NY. I was 18 at the time, but lied and said I was 22 because she said she was 25. We spent a few weeks emailing each other, as well as calling each other."
"We even exchanged pics. When we finally met up, things blew up. Turns out we both lied about our ages: She was really 33, and lied because she thought she looked younger. She admitted she sent a college photo to me. We still had dinner together, but it was awkward as hell. We never spoke again."
Doubles
Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy"It was a double date. She was more interested talking to the other girl throughout the whole thing. Found out later from the other guy that his girl cheated on him with my date."
Ummm... I think I'm just going to stay single. That is a handful of crazy. Why can't people just be honest? I swear the search for love warps people's brains. Be careful out there people.
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